How Could She Say No?, Part 6

    6. More Like Twins Every Day.

    Patti woke on Sunday morning with a splitting headache. God, how many
glasses of wine did she drink last night? Her head answered: Too many! Her
mouth and throat felt so dry this morning. How much had she smoked? She tried
to count the number of cigarettes she'd had yesterday. Let's see, Patti
counted as she laid in bed. She smoked seven before Miriam arrived for dinner.
They smoked one cigarette together before dinner, maybe four more after
dinner, and Patti was sure she smoked several more while watching TV alone. In
disbelief, Patti realized she smoked more than fifteen cigarettes yesterday.
No wonder her mouth and throat felt parched.

    She looked at the clock. She was late but still had time to get ready for
church. Without thinking, Patti ran downstairs, put on a pot of coffee, and
jumped in the shower. She dried her hair and dressed quickly, taking just
enough time for half a cup of coffee and a bagel before leaving the house.
Attending church each week was important to Patti, and she didn't want to miss
the sermon this Sunday. She glanced at her watch. God, I'll finish my coffee
in the car, she decided. Without another thought she was on her way.

    The Methodist church's early service began at 9:00 a.m. and lasted just
under an hour. The two Sunday services were carefully timed so the second
service (more heavily attended) could begin at 10:30 a.m. As Patti sat through
the first service's hymns and prayers, she felt odd. Strange. Too much wine
last night, she decided.

    Ordinarily Patti enjoyed hearing the sermon. But today she felt edgy,
slightly irritated. As she waited in line to exit the church after the service
ended she felt claustrophobic, as if she needed to escape the building. Patti
greeted the minister, pleasantly said hello to a few familiar fellow
parishioners, and walked out into the bright summer sunshine. There was no
breeze and the sun felt warm. But she still didn't feel right. "This is not a
hangover," she finally decided, unable to shake her edginess on the church
lawn. "What is wrong with me?"

    While Patti pondered her predicament, a young man and a young woman
emerged from the church after her. Standing less than fifteen feet away, they
each lit up a cigarette. They seemed relieved to be smoking.

    Immediately Patti knew what was wrong with her. As soon as she smelled the
aroma of tobacco smoke, she knew what she wanted. She wanted a cigarette,
too!

    The man and the woman lingered outside the church door, in no hurry to go
anywhere, chatting and smoking together. Standing downwind, the smell was
driving Patti crazy. I've got to talk to them, she decided. No time to lose!
Without hesitation, she walked over. She was going to introduce herself.

    The couple looked strangely familiar. It was odd. Patti couldn't figure
out why. The woman was dark and attractive, with long, black hair which fell
across her shoulders and down her back. The man was tall and handsome. Had she
seen them somewhere before?

    "I'm Patti Rogers," she said politely. "I don't think we've met. Have you
been attending Saint Stephen's Church very long?"

    "We're Bob and Kitty McWilliams," the man replied as he shook Patti's
hand. The woman smiled. In the middle of a long drag, she neither spoke nor
offered her hand. "Nice to meet you," Bob went on. "No, we've only been
attending this church a few weeks. But we like it." He looked embarrassed.
"Gosh, I hope our smoking didn't bother you. I'm so sorry if it did."

    Patti smiled sweetly. "No, not at all." She looked them over. Bob and
Kitty appeared to be in their late 20's. They were nicely dressed. Patti
sensed they were pleased to meet someone from the congregation. Even though
Patti was hardly an old-timer herself!

    "No, the smoke doesn't bother me at all," Patti repeated with a big smile.
She stopped. "In fact," she went on, "I.... "Well, I wondered if ...." She
paused again. God, she thought to herself, I feel so stupid. She screwed up
her courage. "God, what I mean is, I wondered if ... if I could borrow a
cigarette?"

    Bob smiled. It was as if he knew a delicious secret which only the three
of them understood. "Oh, sure, of course," he replied. He pulled out a pack of
Marlboro 100's. This pack was gold, unlike the white pack Trish had given her.
"Go right ahead."

    Patti smiled. "Thanks. I didn't bring mine with me this morning," she
added apologetically. Patti placed the cigarette in her mouth and waited as
Bob lit her up. Although the pack said "Marlboro," this cigarette had an
orange tip. "Must be different somehow," she figured. As soon as the flame
brought the cigarette to life, an unexpectedly strong tobacco taste filled
Patti's mouth. Yeah, this cigarette was much stronger than the Marlboro Light
100's Trish smoked. But the cigarette tasted good. In fact, really good! Patti
took a second big drag and inhaled the smoke into her lungs. Now that was more
like it! She felt better already!

    While Patti exhaled, Kitty spoke for the first time. "You know, I like
going to church. I think it's important. But I'm always really ready for a
cigarette by the time the service is over." She smiled broadly and watched
Patti take another drag. "Patti, you look like you feel the same way." 

    Patti looked embarrassed but said nothing. Kitty misinterpreted her look
of surprise. "Oh, I'm sorry," Kitty said apologetically. "It is Patti, isn't
it?"

    "Oh, yes," Patti stuttered. "It is. And I mean, yeah, I guess I do feel
the same way." Patti took another drag. She sighed. She was finally beginning
to feel normal again. Looking around, she noticed some parishioners watching
with disapproval as the three of them smoked outside the church door. "You
see, I haven't been smoking for very long," she tried to explain. "I guess I'm
just not used to carrying my cigarettes with me."

    Oh, God, Patti thought to herself. That sounds really lame! They're going
to think I'm an idiot!

    "Happens to me all the time," Kitty smiled reassuringly. "You'd think as
much as I smoke I'd remember 'em, but I still forget to put them in my purse
sometimes, and then I'm stuck." She paused and pulled her long black hair
behind her head. "So, how long did you say you've been smoking, Patti?"

    Patti blushed. "Well, it's kind of a long story." She hated to admit she'd
only started smoking yesterday. It sounded so ... infantile. And she still
didn't understand this new craving for a cigarette. She couldn't be hooked
already, could she? She wanted to get away, to sort out her feelings.

    "Well, why don't you join us for brunch today?" Bob suggested. "We're
going over to Robinson's Bistro. Please come with us. We'd love the company."

    As soon as Bob mentioned the restaurant's name, Patti remembered where
she'd seen them before. This was the couple sitting at the table next to hers
yesterday at lunch. Kitty was the woman she'd seen chain-smoking. Patti'd been
impressed with Kitty, her style, and her obvious devotion while smoking. Patti
watched Kitty take another long drag on her cigarette and then suck the smoke
inside her lungs. Yeah, Patti decided. It's the same woman!

    Bob motioned the two ladies away from the door. "I think some of the
non-smoking parishioners are getting upset with us," he grinned. "Let's go to
brunch. Please join us, Patti. We'd love to hear your long story. We're always
ready for confessions by a fellow smoker."

    Patti hesitated. "C'mon, Patti," Kitty agreed. "We don't go to lunch with
just anybody, you know." She grinned. "Unless they'll sit in the smoking
section!"

    Patti smiled. They seemed really nice. "Okay," she agreed. "I'll meet you
there."

    Patti walked to the parking lot and opened her car door. She paused. She
wasn't finished with her cigarette. For a moment Patti considered throwing it
on the ground. But instead she shrugged her shoulders and hopped in the car,
cigarette in hand, and cracked open the window. "What the hell," she sighed
with a smile, taking another drag and exhaling toward the window as she
started her car. "If I'm going to really try smoking, I've got to start
smoking in my car sooner or later. It may as well be sooner!" She pulled out
of the parking lot and into traffic. The restaurant was only a short drive.
Patti took a final puff on her cigarette and threw it out the window. This
brunch with the McWilliams was going to be fun!


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    At just after one o'clock Trish's doorbell rang. It was Patti. "C'mon in,"
Trish said, happy to see her friend. "How was dinner with Miriam last night?
Tell me all about it. Are most importantly, are you still smoking?"

    Patti didn't answer, but Trish quickly discovered that Patti was indeed
still smoking. Patti lit up as soon as they sat down in the family room. Steve
and Trish were both there, and Patti told Trish and Steve about her evening
with Miriam, about her unexpected craving this morning, and about her chance
meeting with Bob and Kitty McWilliams. She smoked several cigarettes over
brunch with her new friends. "Honestly, I just can't seem to get enough of
smoking," she concluded. "And the amazing thing is, I don't care! You were
right, Trish. Smoking is more enticing than I ever imagined. I have to admit;
I love it!"

    Trish smiled her trademark grin. "For someone who used to be vehemently
anti-smoking, you are sure upbeat about it, Patti. So I take it you're not mad
at me for helping you start?"

    "Of course not," Patti replied with a return smile. "I don't know if I'm
hooked or not, but I love the way it makes me feel. I like the whole process,
too. You know, lighting a cigarette, taking a big drag, inhaling the smoke,
blowing it back out." She gave a wicked grin. "I even smoked in my car, Trish"
she confided. "I don't know what to tell Mark when he comes home tonight. But
I don't think I want to stop!"

    Steve smiled as he watched her take a drag and inhale the smoke. It was
the first time he'd seen Patti smoking. For someone who'd only just started,
Patti looked quite accomplished. 

    "Then don't stop," answered Steve. "Don't worry about Mark. He'll be
delighted," he assured her. "He's been smoking more and more often recently,
and enjoying it, but feels he can't smoke around you. He'll love having you
smoke, and he'll enjoy smoking with you. You know, you look really good with a
cigarette, Patti. And the way you inhale and exhale, man, you look like you're
really enjoying it! That's attractive to a man, you know. Men love to see a
woman doing something she enjoys."

    Patti blushed. "Thanks, Steve. Do you really think I look good when I'm
smoking?" The idea had never occurred to her.

    "Relax, Patti," Trish interrupted. "Steve always thinks women look good
smoking." She looked at Steve with a devilish expression. "Don't you, dear?"
She looked back at Patti. "See, Steve's got a 'thing' about women smoking
cigarettes. He thinks it's sexy. He's never seen a woman smoking he didn't
like!"

    For a moment Steve looked embarrassed. "A lot of men feel that way," he
replied in defense. "I suspect Mark will agree. You won't hurt your marriage
one bit by smoking. He'll love seeing you smoke, he'll love seeing you enjoy
it, and he'll love smoking with you."

    Patti was intrigued with the idea that smoking might actually be a
turn-on, rather than a turn-off, for a man. She'd never considered the
possibility. She lit up another cigarette. What would it be like to have Mark
watch her smoke, she wondered.

    "Hey, Patti, I've got an idea," Trish said, changing the subject. "You're
unemployed and need a job, right? Well, I just thought of something. Our
office is looking for an administrative assistant in the marketing area.
Someone who writes creatively. You're an English teacher. You should come and
interview. I can put in a good word with the boss. What do you think?"

    Patti was dumbfounded. "Change jobs? Gosh, Trish, I don't know ...."

    "Look, Patti, you've been fired. Anyway, you don't have any future as a
teacher if you're going to keep smoking," Trish pointed out. 

    Patti thought for a moment. That was hard to argue with.

    "And where would you ever find a new teaching job where could you smoke
in, or even near, the school building?" Trish added. "But in our office
downtown a lot of the people smoke. We even have a back room where you can
duck in and take a smoke break when you need one. A bunch of us girls gather
there several times a day. What do you say? Let me see if I can get you an
interview."

    "Okay," answered Patti after thinking for a moment. "I guess there's no
harm in interviewing. Sure. Why not?"

    "That's the spirit," agreed Trish. "Plus, you guys need the money. Don't
you?"

    Trish was right about that. They needed a second income. "Okay," Patti
reiterated. "Give me a call tomorrow. In fact, I'll prepare my resume this
afternoon and bring it over this evening."

    "Good girl," Trish replied enthusiastically. "It would be fun having you
working at my office. I'd enjoy it."

    Yeah, thought Patti. So would I.

    She went home excited. Perhaps a change in jobs would be good for her.
And, Patti had to admit, the idea of being able to smoke at work if she wanted
to sounded better and better the more she considered it. Of course she still
might eventually decide to quit, especially if Mark didn't react well, but
there was certainly no harm in interviewing for a job with Trish's company.

    Patti sat down in the family room and thought about her options. Did she
really want to be a smoker? Could she face the inevitable disapproval from her
non-smoking friends? She enjoyed smoking with Trish and with Miriam, and she'd
had a great time smoking at brunch with Bob and Kitty. Smoking with others was
really fun. It was so ... sociable, just like Miriam said. 

    While alone during the balance of the afternoon, Patti smoked several more
cigarettes. She even had one while working on her resume on the computer. She
finally decided she was partial to Miriam's Salems, moreso than Trish's
Marlboros. She liked the cool feeling of inhaling mentholated smoke into her
lungs. They were nicer than Trish's cigarettes, she concluded. 

    By dinnertime the smell of tobacco smoke permeated the house. Megan would
arrive home soon, Patti realized, so she opened the window to clear the odor.
It didn't work. The smell lingered despite the light summer breeze blowing
through the house. "Oh, well," Patti sighed. "I guess I'll have to 'fess up to
Megan when she arrives." She smiled at the thought. "She'll find out
eventually anyway."

    Shortly before six o'clock the doorbell rang. It was Megan, along with her
mother, Amanda. She was carrying Megan's overnight bag and, without being
asked, walked into the house with Megan.

    "God," Amanda gasped. "This place smells like someone's been smoking!" She
sniffed again. "I hope Mark hasn't started smoking again. He hasn't, has he?"

    Patti squirmed. She wasn't sure what to say. So she said nothing.

    "Relax, Mom," Megan interjected. "Patti's friend Trish from down the
street smokes." She looked at Patti. "You finally decided to let Trish smoke
here, didn't you?"

    "Yeah," Patti mumbled. "Yeah, Trish used to make me go to her house
because she likes to smoke while we visit. I decided it wasn't neighborly to
be so adamant about smoking in my house. Yeah, I told Trish she could smoke
when she comes over." It wasn't a complete lie. Just a little fib.

    "Man!" Amanda sighed, turning up her nose in disgust. "I'm sure glad I
quit the filthy habit!" She gave Patti a dirty look, and turned to give Megan
a kiss goodbye. "See you in a couple weeks, kiddo!" With a few final
pleasantries she was gone.

    As Amanda walked down the front steps to her car, Megan went up to her
room and closed the bedroom door. Slowly Patti followed her. "Megan," she said
softly, waiting at the entrance to Megan's room. "I have something to tell
you."

    The door opened. "What is it, Patti?" Megan seemed to be in a good mood.
Patti was grateful. This meant discussion was possible. When Megan was cross,
she sometimes refused to talk to Patti at all.

    "Look, I didn't want to tell your mom, because I knew she wouldn't
approve. But Trish hasn't been here today."

    Megan looked confused. "Then who's been smoking in here?" She paused. "Not
Dad?"

    Patti sighed. "He's not back from his trip. Let me put it this way, Megan.
I'm the only person who's been here all day." She waited for the significance
of this statement to sink in.

    Megan said nothing for several seconds, and then a look of absolute
astonishment crossed her face. "Not you, Patti?" she gasped in disbelief.
"You? Smoking?"

    "Yeah," Patti admitted sheepishly. This was more difficult than she had
imagined. "Trish and I got together on Friday night. She's been telling me for
weeks how great smoking is. So I decided to try it. And, much to my surprise,
I think I like it."

    Megan walked back into her room and sat down on her bed. "But Patti," she
began. "You're such an anti-smoker! I can't believe it."

    "It's true," Patti said. "I'm as mystified by it as you are. Maybe moreso.
And I don't know if you're aware of it or not, but your dad has started
smoking again. He smokes with Steve Jordan when they get together, and he's
even started smoking at work again."

    Megan was hard to read. Was she upset? Or maybe she was just surprised.
Patti couldn't tell. Finally Megan shrugged her shoulders. "Well, they're your
lungs, I guess." She looked at Patti. "But if you ask me, it seems like a
strange thing to do! You're almost thirty years old, Patti."

    Patti surprised both of them with her next statement. "Maybe you'll
understand it someday, Megan," she began. Patti blushed when she saw Megan's
adverse reaction. "What I mean is, when you're older some of your friends will
try smoking. I'm not saying you should ever smoke. I wouldn't say that. You
shouldn't. It's not good for you. But if you ever do try it, you'll see what I
mean." She smiled in spite of herself. "I guess what I mean is, smoking is
very beguiling."

    Shit, thought Patti. It sounds like I'm encouraging Megan to try smoking.
She hadn't meant to imply that, but it probably wasn't far from the truth.
Smoking was beguiling indeed. She would never blame anyone for wanting to try
it, based on what she herself had now experienced.

    Megan looked away. "I started a book this weekend over at Mom's," she said
without emotion. "I think I'm going to read for awhile."

    The discussion was over. Patti could see Megan didn't want to talk
further. "Okay," she smiled. "Thanks for not dumping on me too much about it.
I appreciate that."

    Patti walked downstairs. She sat in the family room for several minutes.
Then she heard footsteps on the stairs, followed by the opening of the front
door. 

    "I'm going to Heather's house," Megan's voice announced from the opposite
end of the house. "Call me when Dad gets home."

    Patti didn't know how to react. Megan was upset. Damn! Suddenly Patti
wanted a cigarette. But she was afraid to light up, fearful that Megan would
return and scold her. Patti wasn't sure what to do.

    Her indecision lasted only a few moments. It was interrupted by the sound
of the front door opening again. This time it was Mark.

    "Honey, I'm home," rang out the familiar cry. He walked into the family
room. "Has Trish been here or something?" he asked. 

    Patti stood up to greet him. "Why do you ask?" she answered. Without
thinking, Patti gave Mark a kiss. Mark pulled away with a strange look on his
face. "Patti," he said with disbelief. "You smell like smoke!"

    Tears began to well up in Patti's eyes. She sat down and, without a word,
burst out crying.

    "What's happening here?" Mark began. "What's going on?" He tried to
comfort his bride. "It's okay, Patti," he went on. "But why does the house
smell like smoke? What's going on?" he repeated.

    Slowly and deliberately Patti told Mark the whole story, from beginning to
end. He sat dumbfounded during the entire tale, as if unable to believe a word
of it. 

    "So that's it," Patti concluded. "I tried smoking. I'm not sure why, but
it seemed like a good thing to do at the time. You know, to turn the tables on
Randy and the stupid school. And the crazy thing is, Mark, I actually like it.
I hope you're not mad."

    Mark shook his head. He was trying to collect his thoughts. "I'm not mad,
Patti," he answered. He smiled. "Actually, from a selfish point of view, I
guess I'm almost happy. I hate to admit it, but it's true. Does this mean
you'll let me smoke at home?"

    Patti hugged him. "I know you've been smoking again, sweetie," she
replied. "Steve and Trish told me all about it. They said you'd be glad to be
able to smoke here with me, to be able to smoke together." She looked at him
hopefully. "Are you?"

    Mark squeezed her hand. "I'll tell you in a minute, Patricia. First, let
me see you do it. Smoke, I mean. I need to see this."

    Embarrassed, Patti retrieved her cigarettes and the ashtray from the
computer room. Without saying a word she put a Salem 100 into her mouth and
flicked the lighter. She took an ignition puff, and then a second, longer puff
which she inhaled into her lungs. Despite her embarrassment, it felt good. She
turned her head away from Mark and exhaled a stream of smoke toward the
ceiling. Turning back toward Mark, she saw a smile on his face.

    "God," he sighed. "You have learned how to smoke! Do you enjoy it?"

    "I do," Patti admitted shyly. To prove her point, she took another drag.
It, too, tasted good to her. Very good. She exhaled another cloud of smoke
into the air. "You're not upset?"

    Mark walked over to hug her again. In the process he removed the cigarette
from her hand, put it in his mouth and took a puff of his own. He handed the
cigarette back to Patti as he began to exhale. As she put it between her
fingers, Mark placed her free hand on his crotch. "Do I look like I'm upset,
pumpkin?" he asked wickedly.

    Patti felt Mark's hardness through his slacks. No, he sure didn't seem
upset.

    "Where's Megan?" Mark asked. When Patti told him she was at Heather's,
Mark smiled again. 

    "I'll tell you what, Patricia. I've miss you this weekend. Let's take your
cigarette and the ashtray upstairs. You can finish it in the bedroom. I'd like
to show you how happy I am." Mark kissed her again, thrusting his tongue deep
into Patti's mouth. Obviously he was not offended by Patti's smokey breath.
"Let's go, quick! Before Megan decides to come back." He smiled. "Boy, I've
missed you. And I can't wait to make love to my new, smoking wife!"

    Patti walked up the stairs to their bedroom. Mark followed behind her. As
she climbed, Patti unconsciously placed the cigarette in her mouth and took
another long, slow drag off her Salem. She looked back at Mark and grinned at
him as she exhaled.

    Trish was right again! Mark was certainly not upset!

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