My Weekend at Auntie Anne's, Part 6

My Weekend at Auntie Anne's  (Part 6)


I managed to get away with this routine for about six months.  Sneaking around
was getting to be a real pain, especially during the winter, and I think mom
was beginning to suspect that her cigarettes were going faster than she
thought they should be.  Her suspicions were confirmed a week before Christmas
that year.  Mom was off for Christmas vacation and she had no sooner left to
go do a little last minute shopping, when I made a b-line for her cigarette
drawer in the kitchen and grabbed a pack of cigarettes from her carton.  I
opened it as quickly as I could, lit one up immediately and took a really big
drag.  With smoke pouring from my nose, I was in the middle of my second big
drag when she came back in unexpectedly.  After a day and a half without one,
I was so desperate for a cigarette that I failed to make sure she had actually
left.  The unasked question of "What do you think you're doing?" was answered
by the amount of smoke in the room from my first exhale.  My initial reaction
had been to throw the cigarette in the sink, but my craving was so great, I
automatically placed the cigarette back in my mouth and took another huge
drag.  Meanwhile, my mom just stood there speechless.  Surprisingly, she
didn't go ballistic or anything, but she did seem to me, a little
disappointed.  After recovering from the initial shock of seeing her
eight-year old daughter filling her young lungs with cigarette smoke, she
asked me how long I had been smoking and I told her about six months.  She
nodded her head, then walked over to me, took the cigarette from my hand and
put the open pack in her purse.  She then told me to go to my room, and that
we'd talk about it when she got back.

My face was beet-red after having been caught with that cigarette and I just
knew I was going to be in a lot of trouble.  Even though mom didn't yell, I
knew she was mad at me for sneaking around behind her back.  All sorts of
thoughts were running through my head while I waited for her to come back.
Punishment was the least of my worries however, as the realization that I
wouldn't be getting any more cigarettes began to sink in.  I loved smoking and
just the thought of not being able to have another cigarette was devastating
to me.  

About two hours later, mom came home.  After putting her packages in her room,
she came down the hall and into my room.  She came and sat next to me on the
bed and gave me a hug and kissed my forehead.  She then wanted me to tell her
the whole story of how I started smoking.  I was really hesitant about telling
her the truth because I didn't want to get Auntie Anne and Grandma in trouble,
but it all happened so fast, I didn't have an effective cover story planned.
Because mom loved smoking so much, I prefaced my story with my burning desire
to try smoking because she made it look so wonderful.  I then fibbed a little
bit and told her about the weekend I spent with Auntie Anne and how I had
begged and pleaded with her to let me try a cigarette until she finally
relented and gave in.  I told her of how Auntie Anne had taught me to inhale,
about buying me my own pack of cigarettes and lighter and about how I got
Grandma to let me smoke too. 

When I had confessed all, I pleaded with her not to be mad at Auntie Anne and
Grandma, because it was me that had made them do it.  She then asked me if I
liked smoking and I told her that I really loved it and didn't want to stop.
Hoping beyond all reason, that maybe I'd be allowed to smoke, I then related
what Auntie Anne had told me about how Grandma let them smoke as little girls.
Mom wasn't saying very much, but when I finished telling her how I started,
she just got up and walked down the hall to her room.  A few seconds later,
she came back with the pack of cigarettes she had taken from me earlier, a Bic
lighter and an ashtray.  She tapped the pack, exposing a few cigarettes then
offered the pack to me, asking if I'd care for a cigarette.  Quite naturally,
I hesitated momentarily and looked at her face, then she smiled and held them
out to me again.  This time there was no hesitation as I eagerly took the pack
and pulled out a cigarette.  Mom then took one for herself and lit my
cigarette for the first time before lighting up her own.  After taking my
first drag with my mother watching, I threw my arms around her and told her
how much I loved her and how much I wanted to be able to sit with her and
smoke cigarettes with her.  I had never felt closer to her than I did at that
moment, and it's a closeness that we still enjoy to this day.  She then kissed
me again, told me she loved me and handed me the pack of cigarettes and the
lighter.

Mom went on to tell me that she would explain the situation to dad and was
pretty sure he'd agree to let me smoke.  Mom then laid down some ground rules
that were to be strictly followed or else I would lose all smoking privileges
until I was sixteen.  At that point, I would have agreed to almost anything in
order to be allowed to smoke.  Mom went on to tell me that I would only be
allowed to smoke in our house or at Grandma's.  I was not to tell anyone that
I was allowed to smoke, or that I even smoked at all and I was not, under any
circumstances, to smoke at school ever.  If someone found out that a teacher
was letting their eight-year old child smoke cigarettes, it could be construed
as child abuse and could result in mom losing her job.  I promised that I
would follow all the rules, and I meant it.

Mom, I'm sure, must have called Grandma and Auntie Anne and related what had
transpired.  Apparently she wasn't mad at them because Christmas that year was
my very best.  Santa was really good to me that year, as I got a new bike,
lots of new clothes and a backyard playhouse.  But it wasn't until later, when
we went to Grandma's house for Christmas dinner, that I got my best present
ever.  As was our custom, Christmas dinner was always at Grandma's house.
After we all helped clean up the torn scraps of Christmas wrap and the empty
boxes from under the tree, mom cooked us some breakfast.  After breakfast, dad
went up to get changed and mom and I did the dishes.  When we were through,
mom lit us both a cigarette.  I really liked these times with mom.  I was
still pretty uncomfortable smoking in front of my dad, but with mom it was
different.  After she allowed me to smoke, she seemed to have changed somehow.
It was either that, or I now saw her in a completely different light.
Whatever the reason, she wasn't as short with me anymore, and she seemed to
listen to me more and wasn't as quick to say "no" as she used to be.  But
maybe it was me who had changed.  Maybe I had become more agreeable and wasn't
so bratty anymore.  All I know is that mom and I were getting along great and
life around our house was a lot better.

 When we finished our cigarettes, mom and I went upstairs to change for
Grandma's.  Mom had me take a bath then she selected a new Christmas dress for
me to wear along with my new shoes and matching purse.  When she had finished
dressing, she came in my room and fixed my hair real pretty and made sure I
look like a little lady.  We went downstairs, and while dad was loading our
presents in the car, mom went over to her cigarette drawer and took out two
packs of cigarettes, putting one in her purse then opening the other and
handing it to me to put in my purse.  She then asked if I had a lighter and I
told her I did.  I can't begin to tell you how wonderful and grown-up I felt
at that moment.  Here I was, an eight-year old little girl, all dressed up and
carrying my own pack of cigarettes in my purse.  Dad came in and said that the
presents were all packed and asked if we were ready to go.  We told him we
were, then got in the car and headed for Grandma's.

As soon as we got under way, mom lit a cigarette for dad and one for herself.
Badly wanting a cigarette, but still not comfortable smoking in front of my
dad, I declined mom's offer of a cigarette on the ride over to Grandma's
house.  I knew I would have to overcome this unreasonable feeling if I were to
ever really become comfortable smoking at home with my parents permission.  

In what seemed like no time at all, we arrived at Grandma's and after all the
presents were carried in and everyone was settled, dad played Santa and began
to hand out the presents.  Being the only child, I always seemed to end up
with the most presents.  Just when I thought I had opened my last gift, and
that Christmas couldn't get any better, Grandma reached behind her chair and
handed me another standard size gift box.  I was thinking it was a skirt or
something for school, but when I took the lid off and peeled back the tissue
paper there sat two cartons of Marlboro Light 100's in the soft pack neatly
taped inside the box.  Everyone must have known what Grandma was going to give
me, because they were all watching me intently as I opened that gift.  I
immediately got up and ran over to Grandma and gave her a great big hug and a
kiss.  They were still watching me as Auntie Anne reached behind her chair and
handed me another present.  Being just as creative as Grandma, and in the same
size box, were taped a red leather cigarette pouch, a five-pack of Bic
lighters and a beautiful ceramic ashtray.  By the excitement I displayed over
these last two presents, you may have thought I was given the keys to the
kingdom.  I gave Auntie Anne a great big hug and a kiss too.  I then reached
into my little purse, took out my fresh pack of cigarettes and my lighter and
put them in my new red cigarette pouch and laid it on the coffee table next to
Auntie Anne's.  Once again, we cleaned up all the paper and boxes and
carefully arranged our gifts.  When we were through, mom suggested we all sit
down and have a glass of wine (Pepsi for me) and a cigarette.  So concerned
was I about using my new cigarette pouch, I immediately opened it up and took
out a cigarette.  Before I could think about it, I had it in my lips and lit
when I happened to glance over at dad.  Noticing my sudden uneasiness, he just
smiled with a gleam in his eye and told me not to be self-conscious about
smoking and to just relax and enjoy it.  Yes, this was certainly a Christmas
to treasure forever. 

It is safe to say that I adapted my smoking pattern to abide by all of mom's
conditions and never gave her any cause for concern.  As far as anyone knew, I
was the perfect picture of innocence, until my sixteenth birthday, when mom
and dad gave me their permission to smoke without any restrictions.

Now, many years later, I still love to sit and talk with mom and share our
Marlboro Light 100's over coffee.  I truly love smoking and I'll be forever
grateful to Auntie Anne for introducing me to this wonderful pleasure.

Well, that's my story of how I became a smoker.  Hope you liked it.

Ashley

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