Becoming a Mother

Becoming a Mother (part 1)

I must admit I have never been much of a mother.  I had my daughter at a
rather young age, and we were always more of pals than mother and daughter.
I was lucky to have my own mother around to help me raise Amy.  We tended to
get into trouble together, and get scolded by my mom.

It was nearly the day of Amy's tenth birthday, and I was very nervous.  I
knew that is was about time for the dreaded "talk".  No matter how long I
had shunned my parental duties, now was the time I would have to take them
head on.  I remembered when my mother gave mine to me.  It seemed that it was
already things I knew, and I didn't understand her own nervousness at the
time.  Thinking about my own perspective when I was young just didn't help;
it was still a dreaded parental duty.

This was a huge step for me, and I understood that.  I knew that being a true
parent would require me to become more objective and that we could no longer
do whatever was our fancy (as best friends often do).  My own life
experiences would have to come into play, and it would me up to me to pass on
the good things and inform her of the bad.  I had never looked at things this
way before, but I was suddenly being forced to.

Amy was a very bright girl and I tried to convince myself that the entire
talk wasn't necessary.  My mother on the other hand told me how important it
was for both her and me.  I convinced her to be present, as I wasn't sure if
I could pull it off without rambling aimlessly.  My worst fear was that of
becoming too much of a "mother" and loosing our close friendship.  

We chose a Saturday evening for the talk, so she could at least have a day on
contemplating before school.  My mother sat nearby for support only.  I
started by explaining that her body was changing, and she would discover
natural desires.  Her changes might feel awkward and uncomfortable at first,
but she would adjust in short time. Boys would begin to notice her change.
From my own experience I had to deliver the worst of the changes that many of
her friends would go their own way, but she would find new and better ones.
It wasn't a long conversation but I felt I had relayed the message.

My daughter sat for a moment of contemplation.  In that moment I desperately
hoped I had not turned from friend to lecturer.  My heart stood still for a
moment.  Amy then reached for the table, and I realized my words had not been
in vain. Looking across the room I could see my own mother's pride in me.  As
I lit my daughter's first cigarette, I knew that I had truly become a mother.

I was glad that the sex talk was at least a few years away.