Claudia's Story, Part 1

                          Claudia's Story 
                               PART 1

I can remember as early as 8 years old or so being very attracted to ladies
who smoke. I would look thru my mom's magazines for ads or for other pictures
of pretty women smoking. It was exciting for me even though I did not know
why. When I would get to see an attractive woman smoking in person I felt
things inside of me that I did not understand.  I do know though that I did
like the way it made me feel. I could not take my young eyes off of these
ladies. I wanted to be just like them so pretty and smoking.

But it went beyond that. There was something about looking at women that was
attractive to me. Once again it was a feeling that I could not understand but
it was really something that I wanted to feel more of.

These feeling intensified as I got older. When my friends began to get
interested in boys, I did not. Oh, I was somewhat interested, but it was other
girls I really wanted to be with. Sometimes I would find some of my dads
magazines that had pictures of two women together and that was really
something. I would look at those pictures forever and even dream of being in
there with them. But I did not know why I had this attraction when all of my
friends were boy crazy. Was there something wrong with me?

I was led to believe later that there was something wrong with me. When I
began to realize that I did indeed have a preference for girls and learned
that that was wrong' I did not know what to think. I do know that I was made
to feel very bad about myself. It was not done intentionally, it was just talk
about haw bad it was to want to be with the same sex. I felt really bad about
myself a lot of the time.

When I was about 13 or so many of my friends began to smoke and so did I. God,
this was something. We would smoke and cuss and really have a lot of fun. I
took to smoking right off from the beginning. I knew how to inhale and do it
all the way that older girls and ladies did. I loved it from the beginning and
still do to this day. Back then it was so exciting. I tought my girlfriends
how to smoke. There were usually four of us that were always together, we did
everything including a lot of smoking. We all smoked VS 120 menthol (as I do
today).  Bonnie, the prettiest (except for me) of the group was a natural. She
would take the longest puffs taking forever to fill her mouth with smoke
before she would open her mouth and hesitate for just a mement and then inhahe
the entire amount. Bonnie liked to hold it longer than most of us and would
usually look up just a little while xhaling. I sometimes think of her today
when I masterbate. In fact I am getting a bit wet even now thinking about
Bonnie and her smoking.

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