Feeling Dirty

Feeling Dirty

Monica came crashing through the door, startling her mother.  "How did your
date go hun?" she asked.  Her daughter suddenly broke down in tears.  "I can't
believe I wanted to go out with him.  He's such a jerk."  Kathy always had
reservations about Adam, and now they seemed to be confirmed.

Kathy wasn't quite sure why, but the boy just didn't seem right for her
daughter.  She had never outright said anything to Monica, hoping she would
see through him for herself.  Her daughter was the jewel of her life and she
wanted nothing but the best for her.

She told her daughter to tell her all about it.  Monica was always close to
her mom, so she didn't hesitate in telling her about the date from hell.  "He
made me feel so cheap and dirty mom, like a two-dollar whore."  They had
started the evening with dinner, and he refused to let her smoke.  This was
followed by a movie, after which he once again refused to let her indulge.
Then for some unknown reason she agreed to go to his place, hoping things
would go better there.

She was really nervous about the date, and had hoped for some stress relief.
Monica knew that he would never allow her to smoke in his car; so she didn't
even ask.  The drive was only 5 miles, but it seemed like a hundred to her.
They engaged in somewhat mindless conversation about school and future plans.
Monica was being polite although her mind was somewhere else.

She sat and reflected on the first time she saw him.  He was very good
looking, and had immediately caught her eye.  He was two years older than the
college freshman, but that only increased the attraction.  Her girlfriends all
seemed to be in lust with him as well, so he had become somewhat of a
conquest.  They had all pursued him, and she had won (or so she at first
thought).  He was somewhat the quiet man and it had taken almost a year for
him to agree on a date.  She knew very little about him, and instead focused
on his good looks.

Once outside the apartment she attempted to light a cigarette, he again
protested.  Her yearlong crush then led her into his apartment, despite her
better judgment.  There they sat and chatted over a bottle of wine and a
rented movie.  Monica still lusted over this man, despite his refusal to let
her smoke.  She couldn't understand his refusal to allow her to even smoke
outside.  The alcohol only increased her nicotine withdrawals, but she stayed
focused on his body.  Possibly a bit too much for her own good.

Soon one thing led to another, and they were in his bed.  There was intense
lust between them, and the moment only lacked one thing.  Monica went to light
a cigarette, and despite the erotic moment he still objected. This seemed to
ruin the moment, and her lust faded away.  What could have been a beautiful
moment of love making was turned cheap and slutty, due to the lack of smoking.

The horrid intercourse was now over, and Monica reached over for a cigarette.
This time when Adam objected she hit the roof.  His other objections were
rude, but this was being just a plain asshole.  How could anyone not smoke
after sex?  Was this beauty of a man just a shallow and immoral person?  She
felt ugly and dirty. She called a friend for a ride and quickly gathered her
things. 

Her friend asked no questions on the ride home.  Monica just sat and cried,
feeling like some sort of slut inside.  Monica felt as though she had
compromised all she knew as good and moral.  Her soul was tormented with the
thought she had done something wrong.  She was so distraught she didn't even
think of smoking.  Little did she realize her nerves were shot and it was
really what she needed most. 

Kathy felt horrible for her daughter, and now wished she had intervened
earlier.   She knew what her daughter needed, and reached for her cigarettes.
Kathy placed one in Monica's weeping mouth, and offered her a light.  Monica
took a deep drag, and thanked her mother. The tears soon stopped and she was
feeling better. With each subsequent puff they could both see her purity and
innocence return.  They now both hated Adam, but knew now that he was actually
the cheap and dirty one.