The 2005 Smoke Olympics

(by anonymous6, 20 November 2005)

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The 2005 Smoke Olympics
For those of you unfamiliar with this, please read "The Smoke Team" from 2002.

"Hello and welcome to the fourth annual IYSO smoking Olympics. I'm Jim
Hanscom along with Bill Wardon coming to you from beautiful Zurich
Switzerland. This year promises to be the biggest and best event in the
sports history with over 1,500 competitors from 37 countries. The competition
will be fierce, the training has been hard, and only the best will rise to
the podium."

"That's right Jim.  We have seen this sport grow faster than any other in
recent years, and the IYSO now has chapters around the globe with thousands
of members.  A big part of that is due to the founder of the IYSO, Mrs. Ann
Cogburn and she joins us now."

"Welcome to our program Ann."

"Thank you for having me Bill."

"You have been at the heart of the explosion of the IYSO competitions world
wide.  What was started as a small event in your town has grown to the huge
event we have here today. To what do you attribute this?"

"Well Jim, first off I want to remind the IYSO is not just about this
competition.  What we are most proud of are the thousands of chapters and
members we have world wide, and not all of them are competitive.  We at the
IYSO are first and foremost about the pleasure that each individual member
gets from smoking.  This competition may be the most visible due to the media
coverage, but you will notice that we have not incorporated the word
competitive in our name. You can see our members in your own communities any
day of any year.  We don't forget our roots as an organization Jim, and that
is the promotion and support of pro-youth smoking enjoyment."

"I understand that the IYSO has also become a charity organization.  Please
tell us a little about that."

"That's true Bill.  It all started about two years ago with one of our
chapters in the United Kingdom.  You may not know that the legal age to smoke
there is 16, and not all parents can or will provide cigarettes to their
children.  We saw a need there and worked to fill it.  As an organization we
cannot provide cigarettes to those under the legal age, we have to leave that
to many courageous parents and individuals, but in the UK it is perfectly
legal.  Through donations from around the world we have been able to provide
over a million cartons of cigarettes to the youth of the United Kingdom."

"The IYSO has become famous around the world for proposing the lifting of any
limits on youth smoking.  But this year you had a very notable case in
Latvia, tell us a little about that."

"Yes Jim, that case brought our organization and its cause to the forefront
of the news globally.  The daughter of the head of their parliament, who was
one of our members, began a huge campaign against her father's party and
their refusal to remove the age limit on the purchase of tobacco products.
She may have lost her battle, but we saw a 900% jump in our world wide
membership due to the publicity." 

"The action in Latvia also brought an interesting battle to the Government of
New Zealand.  How did you feel about that proposal?"

"That one has me a little on the fence Bill.  We at the IYSO are against an
age limit for anyone when it comes to tobacco.  The fact that over 2,000
adults offered to quit smoking, and make it illegal for anyone over 18 to
purchase, was a very admirable show of support."

"What would you think if such a proposal came forth in your own county?"

"That is a question I have pondered Bill.  I must admit I love smoking, but
that love truly began in my youth.  It's kind of like that first time you
fall in love, you may be in love later, but the freshness that it had in your
youth is not quite the same.  If it was a sacrifice I had to make, I would
gladly do it for the children."

"Well we all admire the sacrifices you have personally made for the
organization and the endless hours you and others have put into making this
years Olympics possible.  Tell us what we can expect in this years

"This year we are proud to add eight new countries to the competition.  We
see some real medal promise from newcomers Vietnam, Chad, Egypt, and Iraq.
We have also added several team events, and have expanded beyond cigarettes
to fit customs from around the world.  Last night we had the informal dinner
and party, and let me tell you I saw some great smoking out there."

"We know you need to get down on the field for the opening ceremonies, but
one final question.  There have been several organizations similar IYSO
arrive on the scene over the last few years.  What is your feeling about

"Yes Bill, although they are not directly connected to our group, its great
to see an overall revival in smoking.  Groups such as the Male Youth Smoking
Organization, the Collegiate Competitive Smoking Federation, and the Adult
Competitive Smoking League, are really growing in popularity.  But I like
knowing that it all started with our groups commitment to the support of
youth smoking.  I want everyone to remember that the support of our members,
and other smoking youth, begins with you at home. It is all about breaking
down barriers and stereotypes in your own community.  Remember, think
globally, but act locally."

"Thank you Ann, and we will see you on the podium in a few minutes for the
opening ceremony.  As you look down on the field you will see the competitors
from around the globe enter the stadium.  Each of them is holding a single
cigarette.  Ann spoke of needing your support to keep the IYSO the great
organization it has become.  One way you can help do this is purchase the
commemorative 2005 Olympics cigarettes at you local retail store or
tobacconist.  These are the same cigarettes being used here for the opening
ceremonies.  All proceeds will stay in your community, and support your local
IYSO chapter."

"We now see Ann at the podium preparing to light her cigarette from the
ceremonial torch.  Once lit our last years top medal winner will light her
cigarette from Ann's, and this process will continue as each Olympian lights
theirs from the person next to them.  The tip to tip transfer of the flame,
while each puffing, symbolizing the global unity that smoking brings."

"Ok Jim she is bringing the ceremonial flame to her cigarette-and..its lit!
Let the games begin!"

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