A Letter from Paradise, Part 1

(by msulliva@asacomp.com, 12 December 1996)


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    Notice: This story was been rated "NC17" for adult language, nudity,
strong sexual content, violence, and explicit smoking. If you don't like these
things, I can't imagine how this ended up on your computer screen.


    A Letter from Paradise


    1. Greetings to the Underprivileged

    Hi guys. Grant here. Remember me? If not, check out the story "Behind The
Times" on Lorings page. Otherwise, a lot of what follows won't make much
sense. After you it read it, it still won't make sense, but at least you'll
know what I'm talking about.

    I'm the fellow who ended up in a smoker's paradise, a world where nicotine
is so beneficial that there's a government RDA (recommended daily allowance)
for it. Almost everyone here smokes, and most who don't take nicotine in other
ways; pills, patches, you know the drill. Some people are just terminally
boring.

    It's sort of an alternate version of my old-and your current--world.
Mostly similar, but with a few differences, smoking heading the list. It took
me a while to figure out that you were all still out there somewhere, in the
old, familiar, anti-smoking USA. I reached my buddy Sullivan during one of his
incessant calls to the Psychic Hotline (just dial 1-900-You-Fool) and told him
of my earlier adventures. He's a loser but he writes OK. This time you'll get
it straight from the smoker's mouth.

    Don't get me wrong, this world isn't perfect...but it's close. For
instance, some French doctor at the Pasteur Institute came up with a drug that
blocks all viral sexually-transmitted diseases, including AIDS. Trouble is,
you have to take it every day or else no dice. I'll give you one guess how its
distributed...you got it. If you don't smoke, you can get this drug in pill
form, too...but WHY?

    On the negative side, the former Soviet Union isn't so "former" here. It
seems their tottering economy was saved by the export of a certain cash crop.
I'll give you one guess on this one too...times up. The Russians came up with
a tobacco hybrid that is very rich in nicotine and grows right up to the
permafrost line. Five Russian cigarettes a day and you've covered the nicotine
minimum.

    Don't smoke them myself...it seems unpatriotic. Also, I like to smoke more
than five a day, and those babies are deadly.

    Unfortunately, the well-equipped and -financed Red Army runs Afghanistan
and Pakistan, and is now turning its beady little eyes on Iran and Iraq. The
president (still Clinton here, but he smokes cigars during speeches and press
conferences. The First Lady is rumored to enjoy the occasional cigar, but only
smokes cigarettes in public) knows we can't stand for that, and tensions are
high.

    Just my luck to find a perfect world, then end up having to pick Russian
ICBMs out of my ass.

    On a more personal note, there's no ASFS or ASG here (although there are
newsgroups. We're not primitive). The smoking fetish exists, but its generally
tied up with other things, like FemDom. Some of your alternate selves post
regularly to that group...are you listening, Alan?

    Anyway, enough with the geopolitical updates. If I know you, you're ready
for the good stuff. I'll start with my first date with Laurie Banning, fourth
in the Matriarchal line of Bannings, and the prettiest of the bunch.



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