All He Ever Wanted, Part 3

    This story contains adult language and sexual themes. If such language and
themes offend you, please do not read further. Copyright 1996 by SSTORYMAN.
All rights reserved. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this story in
any fashion and for any purpose as long as no financial remuneration is
received by the person reproducing the same.


    ALL HE EVER WANTED


    3. The Break-up.

    Roger cursed. "Damn," he said aloud as he hung up the phone. "I should
never have told her about it. Damn!"

    Roger found it hard to believe. It finally happened. Theresa told him it
was over. He was angry that she didn't have the nerve to tell him face to
face. Dumped via telephone. I guess it wasn't easy for her, he reasoned.

    Sitting at his desk, Roger lit a cigarette. God, he thought, I need one
now. He'd known Theresa might be upset when they talked, but he'd never
expected everything to end.

    In the beginning, the relationship was a dream come true. But over the
last month, since Dawn started smoking, Roger spent less time with Theresa.
Part of it, he suspected, was because Dawn and Theresa spent more time
together. Theresa no longer needed to escape to Roger's room to smoke while
she studied. She smoked and studied with Dawn.

    But over the last couple weeks Roger slowly realized something more was
going on. The bloom was off the rose, as they say. He and Theresa weren't
growing closer. They were fighting much more, and more often, about
insignificant things.

    Several days ago Theresa'd asked Roger why he watched Julie, Pam and Dawn
when they got together. Things hadn't been going all that well between them,
so Roger thought she'd be relieved to find out it was just his habit. So he'd
explained to her about his fetish. It was his natural reaction to seeing women
smoking, he told her. Wherever he was, if a woman lit a cigarette, he watched.
He explained that women who smoked were attractive to him, that smoking itself
was sexy in his opinion, and that he enjoyed watching them smoke. It had
nothing to do, he'd assured her, with his feelings for her. Roger hoped
telling her these most private thoughts would help her understand. It hadn't.

    Theresa wasn't relieved. She was furious. She never guessed he was
watching her friends because they smoked. And she didn't like it. Theresa told
him she felt threatened; she thought he was weird. The rest of the evening
Theresa seemed uncomfortable smoking with him. She said she felt she was being
watched. Which, of course, Roger had to admit, she was.

    He'd told her their relationship needed to grow in mutual trust and
honesty. If it didn't, it would stagnate and die. So if Theresa couldn't
handle his pleasure in watching other women smoke, the relationship had no
future. He actually said that last night. But his logic didn't prepare him for
the blow he received.

    Tonight Theresa called him. She said she wouldn't play second fiddle to
his fetish. She'd always wonder whether Roger would be attracted to other
women because they smoked. She worried the only reason he wanted her was
because she smoked. Finally, she said she wasn't going to see him anymore. And
she told him she was going to quit smoking.

    Hurt and confused, Roger'd tried to explain that her fears weren't
justified. He liked her because of who she was. As a person. Being a smoker
was a prerequisite, in his mind, for any serious relationship. But only a
prerequisite. Theresa met the prerequisite, but she was so much more. He
wanted them to grow together, to enjoy each other and cherish each other as
whole persons. As people who smoked.

    Theresa couldn't hear it. Whatever he said, she stumbled over the fact
that he'd be looking admiringly at Dawn, and Julie, and Pam, and their other
smoking friends. And watching them smoke. And getting turned on by the
smoking. She said it made her feel less special. Less important. Less loved.

    Despite Roger's pleas, Theresa couldn't handle it. Last night she'd been
upset. Tonight she announced it was over. Just like that. That was it.

    Roger sighed. He decided to take a walk. He put on his jacket and left the
dormitory. The cool autumn air hit his face at the front door of the building,
so he pulled his jacket around his neck and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

    As he walked in the night air, Roger thought about the changes in his life
over the last semester. He had much for which to be thankful. He came out of
the closet as a bona fide smoker, and the world didn't end. That was good. And
he'd dated a beautiful girl. That was good. They'd had a great time for
awhile. In fact, he had more of a sex life with Theresa than with any girl
before her. That had been incredibly good! He gained self-confidence in the
relationship. He felt more comfortable relating to women. He lost much of his
shyness. He made lots of new friends. His social circle was much broader now,
and included many smokers. All that was very good.

    Nevertheless, as he crossed the campus in the brisk, cool air, Roger felt
sad. Alone. He liked sex, and he loved smoking with Theresa. But what he
really liked, and what he'd miss the most, was friendship. The way Theresa
laughed at his jokes, the way she anticipated his desires, the way she allowed
him to please her. In little things. He sighed. Despite their problems, life
wasn't going to be nearly as pleasant being by himself again.

    Roger circled around and headed back toward the dormitory. It was too cold
to walk much longer. He wanted a cigarette, but decided to wait until he
returned to his room. He didn't like smoking outside when it was cold.

    He walked up the stairs to his third floor room. Could he find another
girlfriend like Theresa, he wondered? One thing was sure. He'd never tell his
next girlfriend about his fetish. You never know, he mused. Some things are
threatening. Even if they shouldn't be.

    Roger entered the room, turned on the light and took off his coat. His
books sat on the desk. He needed to study for tomorrow's class. In Chaucer.
Working on Chaucer without Theresa seemed strangely ironic. But he sat down,
opened the textbook, and lit a cigarette. No, it wouldn't be as much fun
without her. But life had to go on.

    After a few minutes, the telephone rang. Roger's heart jumped. Maybe it
would be Theresa, he hoped. Maybe she's changed her mind.

    "Hello," Roger answered.

    "Hi, Roger," a voice replied. "This is Julie."

    Roger was surprised. Why was Julie calling him? Did she know? Had Theresa
already talked to Julie?

    "Roger," she began, "I had to call. Theresa just called me. She said she
dumped you. I called to say I'm sorry. And to find out how you're doing."
Julie sounded surprisingly sympathetic. Very upbeat.

    "Oh, I'm okay, I guess," he answered. Then he paused. "What did Theresa
tell you?" he asked.

    "Everything, I think," Julie replied. "She told me you've been staring at
Dawn, Pam and me while we smoke." She laughed. "And that you have some sort of
fetish about girls smoking."

    There was a pause. Roger said nothing. After a moment, Julie went on.
"Anyway, Theresa felt jealous, I guess. But hey, I told her it's not
surprising guys look at me. I'm good looking. I know it. I expect it!" She
laughed again. "I told her guys stare at me all the time. But Theresa didn't
think it was funny," she admitted.

    "I guess not," Roger sighed.

    Julie went on. "I want you to know, Roger, that I think Theresa's making a
mistake. You're a wonderful guy. I told her that. She's screwing up big time,
in my opinion."

    "Thanks, Julie," Roger said. "I appreciate your support."

    "No, I mean it. You're thoughtful, you're funny, you're not bad-looking,
and you're dependable. God, Theresa's such an ass! And you have another asset
Theresa doesn't appreciate as much as she should."

    "What's that?" Roger asked innocently.

    "God, you're a smoker, Roger," Julie said. "I've dated some cute guys who
turn their nose up whenever I light a cigarette. I'm sick of guys who give me
shit about smoking! I love to smoke. If I found a nice guy who loved smoking
as much as I do, I sure wouldn't cut him loose without thinking long and hard
about it."

    "That's kind of you to say, Julie," Roger responded.

    "It's the truth," she went on. "And by the way," Julie added, "I suppose
Theresa told you she was going to quit smoking, too?"

    "Yeah," Roger replied. "I find it hard to believe she'd quit just because
she's mad at me."

    "Me, too," Julie agreed. "She's only punishing herself. But don't worry.
She won't quit. Dawn and I have already talked about it. Dawn is going to
drive Theresa crazy. Dawn is going to keep right on smoking in their dorm
room. She says she's going to give Theresa the same treatment she got before
she started. And more. I know Theresa too well. She loves her cigarettes. She
won't last," Julie said confidently. "She'll be smoking again in no time. Dawn
will take care of that."

    "Maybe," Roger said. "If we're not going out anymore, I guess I don't care
if Theresa quits or not. It's up to her. But I hope she's not quitting just
because she's upset with me."

    "I don't know, Rog," Julie said sweetly. "I don't know what her problem
is. I mean, so what if you get a hard-on seeing other girls smoke? What
fucking difference does that make?"

    Roger gulped. Yes, Theresa _had_ told Julie everything.

    Julie said nothing more for several seconds. "So, tell me, Roger," she
finally went on. "Is it really true that you get off watching women smoke?"

    "Yeah," he replied honestly. "It is true. But I only told Theresa about it
because I wanted her to understand me. It wasn't that I didn't care for her. I
did. But I find women who smoke attractive. I can't help it."

    "I see," Julie said in a sultry tone of voice. "Roger, do you like
watching me smoke?"

    "Sure," Roger answered nervously. He wasn't sure of the right answer in
this awkward situation. "You smoke with great style, Julie," he added as an
afterthought.

    "Yeah, Roger, I know that. You're right. I do smoke with style. What I
mean is, do you get hard watching me smoke?"

    "Julie," Roger gasped, "why are you asking me this?"

    "Because," she purred. "I think Theresa is outta her fuckin' mind. She's
fuckin' crazy to dump you just because you get turned on watching other girls
smoke! Frankly, I'm glad you like watching me smoke." She paused. "I think
it's kinda cute." Julie paused again. "You don't mind if I say `fuck', do you,
Roger?"

    "No," Roger said. "No, I don't mind at all," he added. But he was
confused. Where was this going?

    Roger heard an edge in her voice. "I didn't think you would mind, Roger,"
she went on. Julie sounded like a woman who was after something. But what?

    "Wait, Roger," Julie said carelessly. "Can you wait a minute? I just want
to light a cigarette. You don't mind if I smoke while we're talking, do you?
Good. Wait just a minute." After a moment, Roger heard the telltale sound of a
lighter clicking. "Mmmm," Julie sighed as she took her initial hit. "That
tastes SO good! God, I needed that!" She giggled. "You know, Roger, I'm so
bad! I'm so addicted to smoking. And just as soon as I've finished one
cigarette, it's not very long before I _have_ to have another one. I mean, I
really have to! I guess I just need the nicotine real bad. But I love it."
Roger heard her take a second, longer drag. "Mmmm," she repeated as she pulled
on her cigarette. "God, that really hits the spot!" The sound of her exhale
into the phone was clear. "I just love to smoke, Roger," she said in a sultry
tone of voice. "Don't you?"

    "Yeah, sure I do," Roger replied simply.

    "Oh, me, too," Julie went on, her voice filled with enthusiasm. "God, I
love to take a hard drag on a fresh cigarette. Maybe even a double-pump right
after I light up! And then I love to suck the smoke deep down into my lungs
and just hold it there. I lick my lips and slowly exhale the smoke, watching
it come out of my mouth for a long time, starting and stopping, starting and
stopping, over and over, until it's all gone. Fuck, that's good! Don't you
love that, too, Roger?"

    Despite his confusion, Roger found his cock getting hard. "No doubt about
it," he admitted slowly.

    "Yeah," Julie continued. "Over and over, Roger. I love to suck the smoke
into my lungs, just as long and as deep as I can. It feels so fucking good to
smoke, it makes me hot!" She giggled and paused. "Are you getting hot, Roger?"
she asked. "Yeah, smoking and talking like this, it makes me want to fuck."
She waited for a moment. "Don't you agree, Roger?"

    Of course, he WAS getting hot. Very hot. Listening to Julie talk about
smoking, imagining her sitting in her apartment sucking on her cigarette. It
was exciting Roger. He'd never engaged in telephone sex, but he figured it
couldn't be much hotter than this!

    But it didn't add up. "Wait a minute, Julie, what's going on? What are you
doing?" Roger asked.

    "Now, come on, Roger, you know," Julie purred. "I'm not like Theresa. I'm
not offended by you getting a hard on when you see other women smoking. And
you're getting hard right now, aren't you, Roger? Because you know I'm
smoking, and I'm loving it? Admit it, Roger. You're cock is getting really
hard, isn't it?"

    Roger didn't answer. He heard Julie puffing hard on her cigarette once
again. "I know you're getting a hard on, Roger," she went on. "And I know I'm
getting excited." He heard the sound of her exhaling into the phone.

    "Julie," he interrupted. "Why are you doing this? Is this some kind of
sick game?"

    Suddenly her voice sounded like she was pouting. "Oh, no, Roger," Julie
said breathlessly. "It's quite the opposite. I'll explain it to you. But
first, let me take another big, long drag on my cigarette." Roger heard her
hitting once again on her Marlboro. "Mmmm," she moaned. "That really hits the
spot. God, that's SO good! Roger, the smoke is soaking into my lungs now. I
just love the way it feels down there. I know it's not good for me, but I
don't fuckin' care. It just feels so good to smoke!" She giggled like a
surprised school-girl. "And now the smoke's coming out of my mouth, Roger, and
out of my nose. God, don't you just love how an exhale looks, especially after
you've sucked the smoke way down deep into your lungs?"

    By now Roger's cock was bulging in his pants. Almost without realizing it,
he began to masturbate while she continued to talk on the phone.

    "You know, Roger, sometimes I wish I could smoke all the time. You know,
chain-smoke, one cigarette after the other? Yeah, I even like to smoke while
I'm eating. Do you ever do that, Roger? Smoke while you're eating? Sucking
smoke down into your lungs in between bites of food, watching the smoke escape
from your nostrils while you chew?" She paused. "I like to smoke whatever I'm
doing, Roger. Don't you?"

    Roger didn't answer. He rubbed his cock.

    "Hey, Roger, are you playing with yourself yet?" Julie asked sweetly.
"Because I am. I'm touching myself while I'm smoking with you. I love to play
with myself and smoke. Don't you, Roger?"

    Roger's heart pounded in his ears. He was excited, but he tried to object.
He was afraid Julie was going to turn against him momentarily. "Julie," he
answered. "You're trying to make an ass out of me, aren't you? I'm not going
to let you do it. Let's cut this out. I'll do us both a favor. I'll hang up
now. Let's forget this call ever happened!"

    "You still don't get it, do you Roger?" Julie answered sweetly. "Do you
remember when Theresa started going out with Dick after he and I broke up last
year?"

    "Yeah?" Roger replied. She was right. He didn't get it.

    "Well, I've been jealous of Theresa's relationship with you ever since you
started going out. God, I couldn't believe she got someone like you. And then,
when she told me tonight she'd just dumped you, and why, I told her she was
fucking stupid. I said I'd be happy to have you as a friend - and as a lover.
Who the hell cares whether you get off watching women smoke?"

    Roger's heart continued to pound. He said nothing.

    Julie continued. But by now she'd completely dropped her syrupy-sweet,
sultry voice. Now she sounded more like the good friend she'd become over the
last several months. "Roger," she went on. "If I were Theresa, here's how I'd
see it. I'd figure I'm always going to be a smoker. So if you were going with
me, instead of with Theresa, I'd figure I could use your fetish to my
advantage, as a way to keep you happy. It wouldn't bother me or threaten me at
all. Hell, I'm going to be smoking anyway." She laughed. After a pause, Julie
lowered her voice. "So, Roger, I told Theresa I'd love to have a shot at you.
The stupid fool told me to go for it." She paused again. Suddenly she sounded
very vulnerable. "Roger, I'm going for it," Julie whispered quietly into the
phone.

    Roger couldn't believe his ears. One of the most gorgeous girl he'd ever
laid eyes on, the one smoker he dreamed about watching, she'd just told him
she wanted him!

    "Julie, are you telling me you're interested in me?" Roger asked
incredulously. "This isn't a gag, a joke?"

    Roger heard her take a last drag on her cigarette. "Roger," Julie said as
she audibly blew out the smoke, "I'm dead serious. I think Theresa's an
absolute ass. She picked up Dick after he and I broke up. I thought she made a
mistake then. I think she's made another mistake now. A much bigger one. Rog,
I'm ready for you to pick me up, if you want me."

    Roger slowly smiled. "Julie, I can't believe it. But tell me again. Are
you sure my smoking fetish doesn't bother you?"

    Laugher broke out on the other end of the line. "God, no!" Julie
exclaimed. "Listen, Roger, I've been smoking since I was 14 years old. I smoke
two packs a day. I love smoking. I'll be a smoker until the day I fuckin' die!
So if you like to watch me smoke, and if you get off smoking with me, well,
it's just one more thing we'll have in common."

    Roger wasn't sure what to do or say. "Julie," he began, "maybe we should
get together and talk about this. I like you a lot."

    "That's what I hoped you'd say, Roger. It wasn't easy for me to make this
phone call, you know."

    "I know, Julie," he answered. "It's probably not easy for either of us."

    "No," Julie replied. "It's not. But I knew that if I passed up this
opportunity, I'd kick myself for weeks. You're a great guy, Roger. I knew if I
didn't get in line early, some other girl who smoked was going to get you. And
then I'd be jealous, furious, mad at myself for not being honest first." After
a moment of silence, she added. "That's why I called."

    Roger's head was spinning. He never expected to hear this from Julie.
Julie the beautiful. Julie the unapproachable. Julie the girl who could get
any guy on campus, as far as he was concerned. Was she really interested in
him?

    "God, Julie," Roger stammered. "I don't know what to say. I mean, I like
you a lot. You're right about that. You've been a good friend. And I mean,
you're gorgeous. Who wouldn't want to go out with you? And you're lots of
fun." He looked at his watch. "Why don't we meet at Johnson's for coffee in
about fifteen minutes? Let's talk,." he said eagerly. Why not? he thought to
himself. No downside to getting together to talk, he reasoned.

    "Roger," Julie said pointedly, "let's cut the bullshit! If you like me,
I'll just come over to your place. I wasn't lying. It wasn't an act. I'm crazy
about you. And I have been playing with myself all the while we've been
talking. If Theresa's stupid enough to let you go, then I want a shot at you.
Look, I'll tell you what let's do. Let me smoke for you tonight and watch you
get a hard on. Does that sound good to you? Then I want you to fuck me. I'll
bring my stuff and spend the night." She paused. "What do ya say, Rog?"

    Smiling, Roger took a deep breath. Wow! he said to himself. "Julie, that
sounds great," he said aloud.

    "Cool," she replied. "I'll see you in about twenty minutes." There was
another pause. "Roger, I really do like you. This isn't a game. If I come, I'm
hoping I can stay. Metaphorically speaking, of course."

    Roger felt he should pinch himself to see whether he was dreaming. "I hope
you will, Julie," he answered sincerely. "But don't forget to bring your
cigarettes, kid," he added with a laugh.

    "Don't worry. See you in a few, Roger. Bye."

    Roger's cock was still hard. He picked up his pack of Merits and shook one
out. Lighting up, a big grin spread across his face. Julie was coming to spend
the night. Well, he and Theresa hadn't been getting along anyway. And this,
Roger decided, was really all he ever wanted!

    THE END

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