Alvin and the Smoking Chipmunks, Part 1

(by Jason Thirus, 11 June 2000)


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Alvin and the Smoking Chipmunks-by Jason Thirus
Part 1

Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are all chipmunk brothers.  They are also the 
only animated musical group in the history of television.  Alvin wears a red 
shirt with a yellow A on it, along with a red cap.  He is the silliest 
chipmunk   Simon wears blue glasses and a blue shirt.  He is the smartest 
chipmunk.  Theodore wears a green shirt, and he has a fat body.  Theodore is 
the chipmunk who loves to eat.  They live with David Seville, their father 
and manager.

The Chipmunks used to be real popular back in the late 50's-early 70's with 
their music and showings on TV in "The Alvin Show."  Now, in the '90's, they 
are trying to recover from the loss of their "Alvin and the Chipmunks" 
Saturday morning cartoon, as well as another loss of popularity in the music 
world.  Music by New Kids on the Block and the increase of rap music has 
caused young people to stop listening to Chipmunk music.  The Chipmunks are 
on the verge of giving up the music business, so they can concentrate more 
on schoolwork.
"We need a miracle!" yelled Alvin.  "I can't think of anymore new songs for 
competing with the New Kids on the Block!  The doorbell rings.  Simon 
answers the door.  Standing outside are the Chipettes, consisted of 
Brittany, Jeanette, and Eleanor.  The Chipettes are another musical group, 
and they are the Chipmunks' best friends.
"Hi, Simon," said Jeanette, while taking a drag on her Capri cigarette.
Simon is paralyzed.   "Why in the world are you smoking, Jeanette?"
Brittany cuts in by tipping some ash into Simon's head from her Virginia 
Slims 120, after taking a double pump and exhaling into his face.  "For your 
information smarty, we are now the Smoking Chipettes."
"Smoking Chipettes?" asks Theodore.  "Does that mean you girls are now 
eating more smoking food?"
"No, silly," said Eleanor.  "That means we are now smokers, and we'll be 
smoking the Music Top 25 soon."  She demonstrated her smoking to Theodore by 
taking a ten-second drag from her Benson and Hedges 100, and she did a nose 
exhale after holding the smoke for six seconds.
Alvin asks, "Why are you girls smoking? You know smoking cigarettes is bad 
for your health."
Feeling upset, Brittany holds her lit cigarette in Alvin's eyes.  "Look, 
Alvin.  This is a cigarette.  We know it's bad for us, and we love doing it. 
  Besides, everyone else in the music world smokes, so how come we can not 
do it, you moron?"
Alvin gulps.  "Why don't you girls come in? We have some ashtrays in here."  
The Chipmunks step back to allow the girls to enter.  All six of them sit on 
two brown couches in the living room.  The Chipettes place their ashtrays, 
lighters, and packs on a rectangular-shaped table.  Brittany continues 
talking.  "We figured if we can smoke, how come you guys couldn't smoke?"
Simon said in firm fashion, "Like Alvin said, smoking is bad for us."
Brittany holds up her fist, while lighting a new cigarette with her other 
hand.  "Look.  Us girls brought three Marlboro Lights packs and three 
lighters for all three of you boys."
"Is Dave here?" Jeanette asks.
The Chipmunks shake their heads.
Brittany breathes a sigh of relief.  "Good.  Guess what? We are going to 
force you boys to smoke!"  As Brittany continued to talk, the other two 
girls opened up the three Marlboro Lights soft packs, they pull out one 
cigarette from each pack, and they get the lighters.  Eleanor gives one 
cigarette and a lighter to Brittany.  "Thanks, Eleanor.  Open wide, Alvin."
Jeanette murmurs, "Open wide, Simon."
Eleanor screams, "OPEN WIDE, THEODORE!"
All three Chipmunks open their mouths, and each Chipette stuffs the filter 
end into the three mouths into each of their boyfriends.  Alvin, Simon, and 
Theodore are all shaking nervously.  The girls flick the lighters.
Brittany laughs like a devil.  "Whether you boys like it or not, becoming 
the Smoking Chipmunks will take you boys back to the top of popularity in 
the music world!"
While the girls laugh and light the three Marlboro Lights, the Chipmunks' 
eyes are so wide open, that they are shocked at the same time.

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