Alvin and the Smoking Chipmunks, Part 4

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Alvin and the Smoking Chipmunks-by Jason Thirus
Part 4
   As Dave gives each boy a carton, the doorbell rings.  The Chipettes are 
back, with some cartons of their own.
   "Looks like we have a smoking contest here, girls," Brittany says to her 
fellow sisters.
   "A CHAINSMOKING contest!" Theodore adds.  He gives out a loud burp after 
gulping down a half-gallon of tomato juice.
   "Brittany, do you girls want to participate?" Dave asks.
   The girls all say NO!  Brittany opens up her Virginia Slims 120 pack, 
lights up a smoke, and plops her Shirley Temple body in one chair.  Jeanette 
sits down in another chair, opens up her "Romeo and Juliet" book, pulls out 
a cigarette from her book, and lights it up in only two seconds.  Eleanor 
clicks her left-handed fingers, and a triple cheeseburger appears in her 
hands.  After sitting down, she clicks the same fingers again.  An 
already-lit Benson and Hedges cigarette goes into her mouth, a root beer mug 
goes into her right hand.  Eleanor sits her chubby body down in a third 
chair, and she starts eating and smoking.
   "On your mark, get set, SMOKE YOUR HEARTS OUT, BOYS!" Dave yells while 
starting a stopwatch.  Each boy takes ferocious drags on his smokes.  Alvin 
smokes the Camels, Simon smokes the Virginia Slims, and Theodore smokes the 
Newports.  When each boy reaches the end of the filter, they light new 
smokes with the burning one.  When each one is lit, the boys throw the lit 
butts up into the air, and Dave catches the butts in baseball fashion, with 
an ashtray.
   While the Chipmunks smoke away, somebody else rings the bell an hour after 
the chainsmoking contest began.

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