Alvin and the Smoking Chipmunks, Part 5

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Alvin and the Smoking Chipmunks-by Jason Thirus
Part 5
   "Congratulations, Theodore.  You won!"
   "Thanks Eleanor.  Let's have a smoky meal and smoky sex together!"  They 
both lit up Newport 100's while going into the kitchen.
   Alvin stomps his feet.  "You cheated, fatso!  You smoked six Newport packs, 
but only smoked half of each cigarette!"
   Meanwhile, Dave is talking to Moe, the Chipmunks' record producer, at the 
door.  Moe is an African-American anti-smoker.   Moe is deliberately shocked 
at watching the Chipmunks smoke from outside.
    "David Seville!  Why in God's name are the Chipmunks taking up the 
filthiest habit in the world?" Moe asks as if he Dave's father.
   "My boys need something to bolster them in the music business."
   "Well, they don't need to damage their bodies with filthy poisons from 
those stinky-winkies!  I would like to quit my association with the stupid, 
filthy, smoking Chipmunks!"
   Alvin overhears the conversation, jumps high into the air like a basketball 
player, and he punches Moe in his nose in slam-dunk fashion.  While Moe 
recovers from the punch, both the Chipmunks and the Chipettes all stand 
around him in a circle, all smoking
   "AHHHHHHH!  I'M SURROUNDED BY CHIPMUNK DRUG ADDICTS!" Moe screams.
   "No, black anti." Alvin chants.
   Brittany adds, "We're the ANTI-BUSTERS!" All six chipmunks start singing, 
with Alvin as the leader.  Everyone else chants "ANTI-BUSTERS" together.
   Who are you going to call?
   ANTIBUSTERS!
   When someone complains about second-hand smoke inside a house, who are you 
going to call?
   ANTIBUSTERS!
   We ain't scared of an anti!
   If you light up a cigarette, and someone starts complaining about smoking, 
who are you going to call?
   ANTIBUSTERS!
   We ALL ain't scared of an anti!
   Moe tells them to shut up, and he agrees with Dave to accept their smoking 
habit.  All six chipmunks celebrate their victory with an anti by giving 
each other smoky kisses.
   Alvin and Brittany display their happiness by both taking triple pumps and 
exhaling simultaneously in Moe's face, while laughing at him.  "SMOKE IN 
YOUR FACE, MAMA!" they chant.
   Moe sighs.  "Okay.  The next Chipmunks concert will be at the Spectrum in 
Philadelphia during the April 22-24 weekend."
   Theodore rubs his stomach.  "Speaking of Philadelphia, I'm ready for some 
cheesecake topped with Philadelphia Cream Cheese!"  He and Eleanor both 
stomp their butts on the floor, and they run into the kitchen, while 
lighting up new smokes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Previous part | Next part