Angela and Pam, Part 1

(by anonymous, 08 September 2000)

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Angela and Pam
Part One!

Angela sat in the classroom, watching Annie intensely as she was telling 
about how she had met God, and everything it had done with her life. Angela 
had been joining the Christian group at school for three months now, and she 
was reading the bible daily. At the end of the meeting they were singing 
some religious songs, and Angela made appointments with her new friends 
before they all went home for summer vacation. Angela looked forward to read 
the bible during the summer, and get a lot of time for herself. Angela 
walked happily the kilometre home from school, still singing on one of the 
songs. She was happy now, really happy. The happiness came to an end quickly 
as she entered her house. The smell of smoke as usual hit her face as she 
opened the door, and she also as usual got angry, this time a bit more than 
usual, probably because she had been so happy. Her mother, Pam, sat in the 
living room with a newly lit cigarette, and she smiled to her daughter and 
congratulated her for finishing another school year. Angela was now 14 years 
old. Pam suddenly lost her smile, as Angela didn't answer her at all, she 
just turned to her room instead. Pam was so fed up by this now. Her daughter 
had changed so much after she had turned into a Christian. She thinks she 
knows everything so damn good, Pam thought.
"What is wrong now dear" Pam asked, not feeling quite secure.
After some seconds, Angela came from her room.
"What do you think? I come happy home from school, being happy for my 
existence, and when I come in her, I smell this thing that kills more people 
than you would ever believe. And you ask why I react as well. Oh god, mom. I 
don't believe that you don't understand that that poison will destroy your 
body sooner or later.
"You don't know what you talk about young lady"; Pam said disappointed. "I 
know it is dangerous, but I am addicted, and I cannot stop now. And I don't 
want to do it either. I have told you this so many times, and there is not a 
single day you don't comment on my smoking". Pam sounded a bit autoritarian 
with her last sentences. And she took a luxurious drag and exhaled in 
Angela’s direction. Angela just shook her head and walked into her room 
Pam was left alone in the living room. This issue stressed her, so she 
smoked the cigarette pretty fast. She had smoked since she was fourteen, and 
was well aware of the fact that it is bordering to the impossible to quit 
when you have started in such an early age. She had heard that it was easier 
when you had lived a longer life as a non-smoker. She had had it in with her 
mother’s milk she thought. She was afraid of lung cancer indeed, but she was 
always able to repress the whole thing in some way or another.
Right now she had mobilized so much aggression against her little daughter. 
She loved her, but felt that they were loosing each other. They had 
discussed smoking and religion too much to be friends now.

Angela lay in her room on her bed. Thinking about how stupid her mother 
actually was. She had started to doubt her friend’s way of living. She 
thought of them as boring and without passion and respect for life. She had 
however kept some of her friends, because they had been her friends all her 
life. Lately they hadn't been so much together, because they had also had 
some religious debates. Angela felt sorry for her friends who hadn't noticed 
God and she wanted to help them. She felt so secure herself after choosing 
the right way. She had tried to convince the person she loved most, her 
mother, also, but she understood less than everyone. Angela didn't want her 
mother to have penalty after her life on earth. She had thought a lot about 
this sentences from the bible lately. She was very afraid of not meeting god 
after this life, and she was aware of not doing anything wrong. But as long 
as she didn't drink, smoke and took drugs, she felt pretty secure. All the 
friends from the Christian group were engaged in the smoking issue, and 
nobody smoked. She was so proud of never having tried to smoke. She thought 
about smoking and drinking as a false way of feeling arousal. It was just 
physical, and not spiritual. But on the Christian meeting on the other hand 
she felt a deep and psychological arousal.

In the afternoon her Pam and Angela ate together without talking. Pam wanted 
to show her daughter that she made her mother unlucky. But Angela was too 
stubborn to feel sorry for being to harsh. So they went to their own things 
for the rest of the day.
Pam went over to her best friend, 500 meters away, to smoke in peace, and 
maybe talk about her daughter with someone who understood. Her friend Sarah 
was almost always in the mood for talking, and she understood a lot. They 
had discussed so much the two of them. They also shared the same philosophy 
of life. They had always been a fan of enjoying her life as long as it 
lasted, and don't be too serious. Pam had been depressed during adolescence, 
and she had found out that the only thing was not to criticise herself so 
much. Pam and Sarah had both had a lot of men, and no longer relationships. 
Pam was a bit sorry for bringing Angela to the world without a father, but 
she had really done a lot to give her a good life. She had at least never 
expected her to seek help in religion. But she didn't interpret this as her 
own fault. She wanted a daughter, and when she found out that she had gotten 
pregnant she chose not to take an abortion. The father was not a good man 
for Pam; she had never actually found someone to love, even though she found 
a lot of good lovers.

Pam walked over to Sarah. Sarah met her in the door quite stressed, with an 
unlit cigarette between her fingers. Her lighter was out of gas, and she had 
been waiting for Pam to long not to shake slightly on her hands. Sarah was 6 
years younger than Pam, 32. Pam laughed and saw through her bag. Sarah had 
already put the cigarette between her lips, waiting inpatient for a light.
"I haven't had a cigarette in two hours, but I decided I could try and wait 
for you".
"I am afraid you have to wait longer, because I have forgot my lighter" Pam 
"Don't you fucking kid me. I cannot wait another second." She took the 
cigarette away with her shaking fingers. She looked with the devils eyes at 
"Joke!" said Pam and suddenly flicked a lighter to life. Sarah put the 
cigarette back in her mouth within the tenth of a second, and her cheeks 
hollowed for three seconds. The relief inside her was enormous, and after 
three or four heavy drags she had time to open her mouth and ask Pam to come 
Pam explained how frustrated she was about her daughter. Sarah could see 
that Pam was depressed, and she knew something needed to be done. They sat 
down and discussed for a long time. Pam smoked very heavy, even more heavy 
than usual. She had stabilized at about 25 cigarettes a day. One cartoon was 
enough for one week. They decided that Sarah should come over for lunch the 
next day.

When Pam came home that night, Angela's behaviour was still provocating. She 
actually had the grip among her mother, she psyched her completely out. Now 
Pam had had enough, and she answered her daughter when she commented 
sarcastically: "You are already back because you ran out of cigarettes?"
"You cannot criticise something you have never tried Angela. That is not 
very fair of you. I think you should smoke for a period, and then tell me 
what you think about smoking"
"Yeah right. I have never tried smoking, and I never will, so don't you dare 
to even ask me. Goodnight. She closed the door to her room in a slam."
Just wait until tomorrow, you little bitch, Pam thought. She knew it would 
be hard, but Sarah had told her to be strong and self-confidant, and really 
let her daughter understand that she couldn't behave like this.

The next day Angela didn't wake up before eleven. She heard that someone was 
in the living room together with her mother. Probably it was Sarah. Angela 
was right. But she could not hear what they talked about. She felt the smell 
of smoke as usual, but didn't care about it right now. Instead she prayed 
her morning prayer.
"I am a bit worried about that she probably will make a lot of trouble if we 
make her smoke", Pam says anxiously to Sarah.
"I don't think you should worry too much. What could she actually do? She is 
just 14 years, so physically it is no problem. And if she tells someone, who 
would believe it? And I also think that she will be too embarrassed about it 
to tell it to a living soul. What is most important is that we make her 
believe that she deserves it, that it is her own fault. Then she will not be 
so hard to move," Sarah supports.
"Yes, you may be right. At least I hope so. But without you I have no 
chance, so you must promise to support me the coming days, until it happens 
by itself, and she accepts "the smoking program".
Now I am so irritated, and when I am irritated, she has respect for me. Then 
I feel much stronger than her. But she has started to get hard these last 
years, and I don't like that. Maybe this wills soft her up. I don't want to 
have an arrogant, better-knowing girl around me, yelling at me for smoking. 
I cannot handle it."
"You know I will help you 120%, and I will not give up even though it 
becomes harder than expected. I couldn't understand you better, and I think 
things will be better in maybe one month"
Pam smiles thankfully to her best friend, while lighting a Marlboro light 
100. She takes a deep drag, before she passes the lighter to Sarah.
"I think we shouldn't wait till Angela makes her move. It could be nice to 
take her in the act, as she tells us not to smoke, but I think the best is 
to really surprise her, and don't let her build up her irritation. We should 
do it now before she comes out," Sarah advises.
They sat in silence, smoking their last cigarette before starting the plan. 
They looked at each other without a word as they were reaching the filter, 
took one last heavy drag, and put out their cigarettes beside each other in 
the ashtray.
Sarah took the initiative too walk in the front. She stopped outside 
Angela’s door, and knocked three times. "yes?".
"Hello Angela, this is Sarah, could I come in for a minute?"
"Hello, you are sleeping late, no? (Pam was waiting behind). I have talked a 
lot with your mother, and she doesn't feel very well these days, 
particularly because of you. (Sarah became a bit more authoritarian in her 
voice). I know you hate her smoking, but there is nothing she can do about 
it. And you don't make it better with being so harsh on her. Would you 
please stand up and come to the living room so we could talk a bit more?"
Angela was really surprised, "taken on the bed". She tried to say something, 
but didn't manage to. At least some seconds passed.
"Yes, I guess so. But what do you actually want?"
"I just want to talk a bit about your mothers smoking, I think it is easier 
to understand when you hear it from someone who is not your mother."
"Ok" Angela said puzzled.
"Thank you". Pam was really happy about how well Sarah had done. Give me 
fucking five, Sarah said, as they walked against the living room, forming 
the rest of the plan.
Angela was there in five minutes, dressed, but looking a bit tired.
Sarah took the command again, pointing to a free chair for Angela.
"Neither your mother nor I want to destroy or bodies. But it is not like we 
can just stop whenever we want. We are honestly completely hooked, and have 
to tolerate smoking as a part of our lives, and that is where you are 
concerned. You too have to tolerate your mothers smoking, but you don't seem 
to do that, am I right?" Sarah continued before Angela was able to answer. 
"Your mother will continue smoking, and if you don't understand or can live 
with that, you are not very grown up."
Julia prepares her answer. "I see Sarah, but sometimes we just have to do 
what is best for ourselves over time, even though it may take some power to 
make it. Unfortunately, not everyone has this power. And another thing is 
that it is just not the smokers own case, second hand smoke is also very 
damaging. You should stop smoking right now, and try to take care of the 
lives you have been given". This speech was kind of a provocation to both 
Sarah and Pam. They knew what she said was right, but they could never stop 
"So what you say is that stopping smoking is easy, and that you would have 
made it if you had smoked yourself?" Pam interrupted, pretty irritated.
"Well, I would never have started, but if I first did, I would quit 
immediately. My willpower is stronger than the nicotine!"
"Ok Angela, your mother and I have decided that you owe us to try smoking 
during this summer, and then experience what smoking really is like". You 
will start right now said Angela, rising up from the sofa. Angela looked 
scared at her mother, before saying nervously "I will never smoke, I have 
decided that, and you will never change that decision".
Pam just shook her head and pointed restrightly on the seat in the sofa, in 
front of the ashtray. Sarah stood behind Angela now and tried to guide her 
into the sofa. She laid a hand on her shoulder. Angela was pretty thin and 
short, even though she had gotten breasts and butt already.
Sarah on the other hand was a bit powerful, probably weighing twice as much 
as little Angela. But Sarah had a nice figure, even though some men would 
prefer her a bit thinner.
Angela rose up, telling, "I can sit in the sofa, but I will not smoke, 
"We will see", said Sarah arrogantly.
"You actually owe me to agree on this plan after all the shit you have given 
me about my smoking. You don't have the right to criticize something you 
have never tried on your own. Now I offer you a chance to try, and you have 
to agree on this". Pam was in charge after these sentences. Angela thought 
inside, self-criticizing, as she was, that her mother might be right. She 
was more scared than irritated now, because the last thing she wanted to do 
was smoking. Sarah sat down on her left side, while her mother was sitting 
on the right. The sofa was deep, and it would be hard to get away. Angela 
decided to try and raised up, screaming "I will never smoke". She didn't 
come longer than half way up before Sarah’s strong arm was around her, 
pulling her back into the sofa. "You can chose to smoke your first cigarette 
voluntarily or involuntarily, but you will smoke it anyway" Pam yelled back 
to her daughter. Sarah wanted to ensure them about further attempts to 
escape, so she took a tight hold of Angela’s left hand. Pam reached for the 
pack of Marlboro lights and the lighter. Looking at her daughter, she took 
one out. Angela’s heart was beating faster, and she looked helplessly on her 
mother, whispering, "Will you please let me go".
"We will never get back on this, the best thing you can do is not to make 
this harder for all of us with trying to escape." "You start smoking today, 
and smoke during this summer, and then you can prove for us how easy it is 
to quit smoking. I am not fan of people who just talk about things they 
don't know anything about. You will smoke two cigarettes today, tomorrow 
three, Saturday four. Then you will add one cigarette every second day, 
until we reach twenty. And at the first school day, you smoke as many 
cigarettes as you want, zero, or 40!" "Now, take a moderate drag, breathe it 
in, and blow it out, that is all I want you to do!"
These were the last words before Pam lit the cigarette, took one heavy drag, 
and then hold it out for her daughter. Her daughter refused to take it. She 
shook her head and looked down.
Pam gave a sign to Sarah. Sarah took Angela’s left hand behind her back and 
twisted it until Angela screamed. She then gripped Angela’s hair, and forced 
her to face her mother. Tears had appeared in Angela’s eyes, but Pam showed 
no mercy. She had experienced too much criticism to do that. Angela was 
scared now, and prayed to god that the ladies would decide to go back on 
their plan. It did not happen.
Pam held the filter inches from her lips, while Sarah pushed her gently 
against it. Angela opened her lips, and the cigarette was immediately put in 
between them. "Now, take a drag!"
Angela took a small drag, and blew it out again. The smoke felt unpleasant 
in her mouth and eyes.
"Ok, but now I think you should inhale, that is what it is like to smoke".
The cigarette was put between her lips again at once. Angela was too scared 
not to obey. "Inhale" Sarah said calmly while she tightened the grip as to 
underline her words.
Angela took a longer drag, and breathed it directly in. Then she blew it out 
again. Strangely, she just caught a bit. Pam waited for 30 seconds for the 
next drag. She put the cigarette to Angela’s lips for the third time. This 
time Angela gripped the filter with her teeth and just spat the cigarette to 
the floor. "I will not smoke anymore, now I have tried it, and that's it. 
Bitch!" This was the first time Angela had used this kind of words this year 
thought Pam. Sarah now twisted Angela’s arm further and forced her head down 
to the table. She also almost ripped Angela’s hair off. Angela screamed and 
cried, but there was no mercy after this. "Will you smoke?" screamed Pam 
into her daughter’s ear. Angela just cried and didn't answer. The grip was 
even more tightened; her arm was shaking, almost being wounded seriously. 
"Yes", she screamed. Pam took up the cigarette from the floor; the filter 
was damaged from the biting, so she threw it in the ashtray, immediately 
shaking another one from the pack. She lit it and took her normal heavy 
drag. Sarah had loosened the grip, but she still hold Angela’s arm under 
control. She stroke Angela’s hair with her other hand. "We don't want to 
hurt you, but it is actually your own choice. You simply have to smoke to 
avoid more pain. You cannot go around and think shit about something before 
you have tried it for real. You must understand that you owe me and your 
mother to try smoking".
Pam: "Now, we share this one. Just do as you did on your last drag. That was 
fine, but I didn't like what you did to my cigarette afterwards", Pam said 
childishly. She took another drag and again held it out for her daughter. 
Sarah took some tears away from Angela’s face before she pushed her against 
the cigarette.

Part 2 coming soon!

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