Back and Forth, Part 7

This fictional account contains adult language and graphic sexual themes and
descriptions.  If such language, themes and descriptions offend you, please do
not read further.  The persons and events described in this work are purely
fictional.  Any similarity to actual persons or events is strictly
coincidental.  Copyright 2002 by SSTORYMAN.  All rights reserved.  Permission
is hereby granted to reproduce this story in any form and for any purpose as
long as this notice is reproduced and no financial remuneration is received,
directly or indirectly, by the person reproducing or using it.

BACK AND FORTH
by SSTORYMAN

7.	Getting It - Really Getting It.

   Vicki awoke to a soft buzzing sound.  She opened her eyes and smiled.  As
usual Bob was standing at the mirror in their bathroom shaving.  He always
got up before her.  He liked getting to school early.  She was used to that
sound, the clatter of Bob shaving after his morning shower.

   She _wasn't_ used to what happened next.  He turned and smiled seeing her
awake.  He put down his electric razor, picked up a cigarette from an ashtray
on the bathroom vanity and walked over to their bed.

   "Good morning, beautiful," he greeted his wife, or rather the woman he
assumed was his wife.  Without wavering he gave Vicki his half-smoked
cigarette.  "How do you feel, babe?"

   Vicki gazed at the cigarette in her hand.  Apparently Bob expected her to
smoke before she got out of bed!  She smiled insincerely and raised the
cigarette to her lips.  She took a confident looking first puff.  "God, I
feel great," she sighed lazily after inhaling some smoke.  "Last night was
wonderful, Bob."

   He watched his lovely bride listlessly exhale a swirling cascade of smoke
that hung in the air in front of her face.  "Yeah, last night was good," he
agreed with a wry smile.

   Bob leaned over to kiss her.  The smell of smoke on his breath was every
bit as strong as that she just tasted from his cigarette.  She guessed this
wasn't his first of the day!

   "Go ahead and keep it," he grinned before returning to the bathroom.
"I know you like to have a cigarette before you get out of bed."

   She nodded and raised the cigarette to her lips.  God, her twin must smoke
heavily!  She drew on it and sucked smoke in her chest before holding it
there for several seconds.  Damn, though, it _was_ pleasant!  She pursed her
lips and began to release yet another smoky exhale.

   There was a knock on the door.  Before either of them answered it opened.
Kylee poked her head in.  She saw smoke escaping from Vicki's mouth.  She
grinned broadly.

   "Hey, glad to see you're getting an early start, Mom," she teased.
Kylee looked more closely at the bed.  Both the sheets and Vicki's nightgown
were soiled with dirty ashes.

   "And God, it looks like someone smoked in bed last night," she quipped
with delight.  "And somebody forgot to use the ashtray!"

   "Hush, Kylee," her dad said impishly.  "You've seen this before.
Don't act surprised.  You know what we do in bed at night!"

   Kylee smiled at Vicki.  "Oh sure, of course.  Hey Mom, I just want to
remind you.  I'm not driving with Dad today.  You're taking me to see Dr.
Keith.  Remember?"

   "Oh God, you're right!  I forgot."  Vicki groaned and looked at the
clock on the bedside table.  "When's the appointment?"

   "Yesterday you said Suzanne was supposed to squeeze us in at eight
thirty.  But don't worry, Mom.  Go ahead and finish your cigarette," she
said in a mocking tone.  "I don't mind."

   Vicki glared.  But Bob was looking so she raised it to her lips and
dragged again.  She inhaled and reached out to crush it in the ashtray while
she swung her legs over the side of the bed.  Finally she released a long
exhale.  "Your father brought me that cigarette," she explained lamely.
"He's such a dear," she added with a glance at him.

   "What's going on?" Bob asked.  "Last night and now again this morning
you two have been acting so strange."  He turned accusingly to  Kylee.
"Are you making fun of your mother?"

   "No, not at all, Dad.  Last night I told Mom I thought she was slacking
off.  She wasn't smoking as much as before.  But it was all in fun.  I
didn't mean it to be mean."

   "I didn't notice her having any problem in bed last night," he smiled.
"But Vicki you usually do light up one of your own as soon as you get out of
bed."  He let a pregnant pause hang in the air.

   "And I was just about to," she said defensively though it wasn't true.
She wasn't sure how she felt about it.  But she had to continue to play the
role.  So she reached for the pack on the nightstand and quickly shook out
another Benson & Hedges 100.  "You know how much I love to smoke, Bob."
She clicked the lighter and fired it up.  "I always have."

   Bob seemed reassured by the sight of her lighting up.  "You see, Kylee?"
he said to his daughter.  "Your mom's smoking just as much as ever.  I
don't know what you were talking about.  My God, she smoked two packs
yesterday!"

   Kylee turned to leave.  "I know, Dad.  It's just that now that I smoke,
too, I want to smoke along with Mom more."  She smiled again at Vicki.
"You don't mind if I have one with you now, do you, Mom?"

   "Oh, of course not, honey," Vicki sanguinely replied.  She offered the
pack to her teenage daughter.  "It does my heart good to see you smoke."
She knew better but there remained a tinge or irony in her voice.

   In fact Vicki _didn't_ expect to smoke so much or so early in the
morning.  And she certainly wasn't happy encouraging Kylee to smoke.  But
she held out the lighter to her daughter anyway to light her up.  "There you
go, honey," she said sweetly watching Kylee take an initial hit on the 100
millimeter cigarette.  "You know I'm delighted that you smoke so much."

   "That's better," Bob muttered.  "I don't know why there's so much
tension between you two.  But behave yourselves today, for God's sake."  He
glanced at his watch.  "Hey, I gotta go downstairs and eat some cereal.
I'm late."  He wiggled his fingers at Vicki.  She handed him her cigarette.
He dragged on it quickly and powerfully.  "Thanks, hon," he said
pleasantly, pausing just long enough to kiss her on the cheek while smoke
erupted from his mouth and nose.

   As soon as Bob left Vicki intercepted Kylee before she could reach the
bedroom door herself.  Vicki closed it.  "Listen, Kylee," she reproved her.
"I do _not_ want you smoking like this.  And I don't appreciate you putting
me in situations where I have to smoke.  Knock it off.  Okay?"

   "Oh come on, Mom," Kylee replied.  "Look at the pack.  There's no
warning label on it in this world.  It's not bad for us to smoke here."
She raised the cigarette to her mouth and dragged extra hard.  "So why
shouldn't we just enjoy it?"

   "You stupid girl, it's because you and I can't keep smoking after we go
home," she snapped.  "Believe me, I know how it works.  The longer you
smoke the harder it is to quit.  I've been there and done that.  I do _not_
want to do it again."  She started to crush her cigarette in the ashtray.

   "Wait, Mom.  Don't!"  Seeing Vicki freeze Kylee continued.  "Dad will
see you crushed it out early and you didn't smoke the whole cigarette.
He'll think something's wrong.  His real wife never does that.  So if I
were you I'd smoke it all the way down to the filter.  After all, you don't
want Dad to suspect you're not really you, do you?"

   Vicki hesitated.  Kylee was right.  She couldn't leave it in the ashtray
if she crushed it out early.  "Okay, smart-ass," she spat back.  "I'll
smoke it.  But don't keep trying to get me to smoke more.  I don't
appreciate it."

   "Now Mom," she gleamed, holding her own cigarette erect.  "Be honest.
You said you used t smoke in the old days.  Don't you enjoy doing it again
at least a little bit?"

   Vicki drew on her B&H.  "Yeah, of course I do.  Sure, smoking's very
enjoyable.  It always has been."  She turned her head to exhale.  "But I
don't dare get used to it again.  If I do I'll go through hell quitting
when we go back."

   "I understand.  Well, I need to finish getting ready.  But I intend to
smoke as much as possible as long as I'm here, whether you like it or not,
Mom."

   As Kylee left Vicki sat on the bed to think.  She pulled greedily on her
cigarette.  Yeah, it _was_ wonderful to smoke again.  It was especially great
having Bob be so supportive of her smoking.  Hell, she never wanted to quit
in the first place!  In their world Bob made her.  As she thought about it
she did one of her counterpart's so-called patented double-pumps.  She
inhaled the smoke deep inside her chest.  The truth was she didn't _need_ to
smoke the entire cigarette.  She could have put it in the ashtray and let it
naturally expire.  Bob would never know the difference.  But the truth was
she _wanted_ to smoke it.  The terrible reality was that she liked the
freedom to smoke; hell, the expectation that she should smoke, just like she
did years ago.

   After Vicki finished she brushed her hair, washed her face and got
dressed.  Leaving the room she looked in her purse and then at the pack of
Benson & Hedges 100s and lighter on her nightstand.  She sighed and dropped
them in her purse.  She hated to admit it but if she was honest she had to
admit she didn't mind playing her counterpart's smoking role to the hilt!

   She and Kylee drove in silence most of the way to Dr. Keith's office.
Like Kylee did during her first day in this world, Vicki right away noticed
all the billboard cigarette ads prominently placarded at every street corner.
There were also some public service billboards promoting smoking.  But
nothing prepared her for the shock of entering Dr. Keith's office!

   The waiting area in the medical office was thick with smoke.  Not only
mothers but also their kids, many way too young to smoke, were all smoking
unabashedly.  Kylee warned her to expect to see people smoke in the waiting
room.  But every single person, adult and younger, seemed to have a
cigarette.

   For years she'd known Suzanne, Dr. Keith's pretty receptionist.  Even
Suzanne had a cigarette burning in an ashtray as she answered the phone and
fielded questions from patients' mothers.  The culture shock summarily
overwhelmed Vicki.  All the smoking around her made her crazy.  She wanted to
join in.  She wanted to smoke, too.  She hadn't had a cigarette since the
one in her bedroom.  Despite her intention to keep her smoking to the bare
minimum she felt a subtle growing ache deep inside, a powerful yearning to
light up a cigarette for herself.

   "It's so strange," she whispered to Kylee.  "Seeing everybody
everywhere smoking, I mean.  God, it makes me feel so weird!"

   "You don't really mean weird, do you, Mom?  You really mean it makes you
want to smoke, too, doesn't it?"  Her mother didn't respond.  "You can
admit it.  I understand.  I feel the same way.  As soon as I smell that
heavenly aroma I desperately want a cigarette of my own."  She giggled.
"But I'll tell you a secret, Mom.  Dr. Keith doesn't care.  Nobody does.
They expect us to smoke.  They all want us to.  And I for one don't intend
to disappoint them!"

   Reaching in her purse Kylee took a cigarette from her Benson & Hedges soft
pack.  She put it in her mouth and paused and looked expectantly at Vicki.
"Want one?" she whispered mockingly.  "You may as well join me."

   Vicki looked away.  There was a young mother sitting across the room.  She
had a toddler on her lap.  She was smoking a Virginia Slim 120.  Exhaled
smoke dribbled from her lips and cascaded onto the youngster.  He didn't
care.  The kid was obviously used to it.

   Vicki let out a deep sigh.  "Okay.  God!  You win.  Yes, Kylee, please.
I _would_ like one," she reluctantly grumbled.

   Kylee at once handed her a cigarette and Vicki immediately put it in her
mouth.  "God, honey, I can't stand it.  I can't stand smelling everyone
else smoking and not having one for myself."  She caught the light her
daughter offered.  She pumped once and right away a second time.  "Damn,
it'll be hell to quit when I get back anyway," she groaned while exhaling.
"Shit!  I suppose there's no reason to increase the agony by denying myself
while I'm here."

   Kylee laughed.  Rarely did she hear her mom use that kind of language.
But she liked it.  It was a good sign, a clear indication she was beginning
to crack.  "That's smart, Mom," she nodded.  "Real smart.  I agree one
hundred percent."  She lit up her cigarette.  "And Dr. Keith will be proud
of you," she teased.  The white cylinder dangled in her mouth while she put
away the lighter and her cigarettes in her purse.  "Last time the other
Vicki and I were here all he talked about was how happy he was that I started
smoking."

   God, yeah, that _was_ weird, Vicki nodded.  She put her cigarette in her
mouth for another hit.  She didn't realize it but her drags were becoming
more prolonged.  She still felt awkward about smoking with Kylee, especially
since they both knew she didn't _have_ to smoke right now.  She was doing it
only because she wanted to.  It was an admission that she couldn't control
herself.  She stared straight ahead while she released another stream of
smoke from her mouth.

   Across the room the woman with the toddler  thought Vicki was looking at
her.  So she nodded and smiled.  "Always nice to light up, isn't it?"

   "What's that?" Vicki startled.

   "I said, it's always real nice to light up again, isn't it?" the
mother repeated with a smile.  "You looked like you were undeniably ready
for a cigarette!"  She put her VS 120 in her lips and puffed.  It was a
powerful, accomplished drag.  "Thank God there aren't too many places where
we can't smoke anymore."  She began to exhale.  The smoke she breathed out
swirled around her infant's head.  She hardly noticed and neither did he.

   Vicki smiled politely.  "Yeah, it's kind of hard to get used to, isn't
it?"

   The young mother leaned forward to speak directly to Vicki.  As a result
her burning cigarette was only centimeters from her child's face.  "I've
been a smoker over twelve years," she said proudly.  "I was only 11 when I
started.  So I definitely remember how it used to be."  She drew hard on her
120.  "Back then people would've been horrified to see me smoke around my
baby like this."  She laughed and purposely exhaled directly into his little
face.  He giggled and clapped his hands.  "But now nobody minds.  In fact
they think I'm a better mother since I smoke around Brian all the time."
She laughed again.  "It's great!"

   "Wow, since you were 11?"  Vicki shook her head.  "And you smoked the
whole time?"

   "Yeah, pretty much," she nodded vigorously.  She seemed eager to tell
the story though Vicki wasn't sure she wanted to hear it.  "By 14 I smoked
a pack a day.  My mom finally found out but knew she couldn't stop me so she
didn't try.  By the time she realized it I was totally hooked anyway.  Mom
smoked so she understood.  Back then she didn't like it but knew there was
nothing she could do."

   "So your mom smoked, too?"

   The woman smiled and nodded.  "Yep.  She still does of course.  My mom's
smoking was a big reason I ultimately wanted to.  If moms or dads smoke their
kids probably will."  She patted her child's head.  "I smoke all the time
around Brian.  I know my smoking around him increases the chances he'll want
to smoke someday."  She hit on her VS 120 and inhaled.  "Plus I figure it
gets him used to the smell."  She exhaled directly at him.

   "I'm sure you're right," she muttered.  God, it was _so_ bizarre in
this world.  Imagine a young mom in her world proudly smoking around her
little children!  And this mother was avidly puffing away with her toddler on
her lap in a pediatrician's office!

   The young mother interrupted Vicki's thoughts.  "Want to know another
secret?"

   Vicki politely nodded.

   "I'm pregnant again," she giggled.  "I'm so thankful."

   "Yeah, great; that's wonderful," Vicki agreed pulling on her B&H.

   "No, that's not what I mean," the woman laughed.  "I mean I'm
grateful that this time I don't have to quit."  She crushed her cigarette
in the ashtray and immediately got out another.  "When I was pregnant with
this one doctors still thought you shouldn't."  She paused to light up.
"Last time it nearly killed me to quit.  I never really did, actually," she
admitted with her long cigarette still dangling.  "But now my ob-gyn says
yeah, sure, Susie, go ahead.  Keep right on smoking as much as you want!"
She tipped her head to release her next exhale straight upwards.  "It's
great to be congratulated for doing something you love to do anyway."

   "Kylee Bergen?"  The nurse was calling them from the door.

   "Uh, we gotta go," Vicki smiled at the young mom.  "Nice talking to
you."

   "Yeah, nice to talk to you, too," the young mother named Susie smiled
while again exhaling smoke all over her young son.

   Kylee got up and took her lit cigarette with her.  Vicki did, too.  The
nurse just smiled and went on ahead into an exam room.  Vicki sat down in a
chair with an ashtray next to it.  Kylee sat on the table.

   "Hmm.  Your chart says you're here to get the Sheridan treatment
inoculation."  She frowned.  "Didn't you get it before, honey?"

   "Yeah, I did," Kylee nodded.  "But for some reason it seems to have
worn off."

   "That's strange," the nurse muttered.  "Well, according to the chart
Dr. Keith himself wants to give you the shot.  He'll be in shortly."  She
smiled and left.

   "I told you," Kylee declared happily.  She put her cigarette to her
mouth and pulled on it.  "The nurse doesn't mind us smoking and neither
will Dr. Keith."

   Vicki shrugged and drew on hers.  She inhaled deeply.  Damn it, it felt
good.  Just as she began her exhale the door opened and Dr. Keith strode into
the room.

   "Good morning, ladies," he smiled effusively.  He looked at Vicki and
saw smoke escape from her lips.  "I knew you'd be smoking, Vicki," he
laughed robustly.  "But I'm glad to see Kylee here is still smoking as
well.  Good job, Kylee!"

   "I really love to smoke now, Dr. Keith," the seventeen year old grinned
with a sly glance at Vicki.  "And you'll be glad to hear we just got
Allyson to start smoking."

   "Excellent.  Gosh, that's really great news!  You must be very happy,
Vicki."

   "Yeah, delighted," she acknowledged halfheartedly.  "Smoking's great."

   Dr. Keith didn't notice the unenthusiastic response.  He was studying
Kylee's chart.  "I don't understand why but your blood work shows no
evidence of the Sheridan inoculation.  I took a quick look at the literature
this morning.  This is unprecedented.  Let me look at the mark on your left
arm where you got it last time."

   Kylee had on a blouse.  She rolled up the sleeve.  There was no mark.  Dr.
Keith frowned.

   "That's odd.  The inoculation always leaves a small telltale scar.  Your
arm is clear.  Nothing."  He shook his head.  "I guess we'll give it to
you again.  But I want to see you in a couple weeks, Kylee.  We'll run
another blood test and check to make sure it took this time."  He began to
prepare the syringe.

   Vicki nervously dragged on her cigarette and crushed it in the ashtray by
her chair.  "Excuse me, Dr. Keith, but can I ask a question?"

   "Sure, Vicki.  What is it?"

   "The scar on my left arm seems to have disappeared like Kylee's.  I
wonder if you can give me another inoculation, too.  You know, just to be on
the safe side?"

   He shook his head while swabbing Kylee's left arm.  "Afraid not, Vicki.
You know how national health care is.  I can't get reimbursement for
services to non-patients.  As a pediatrician I'm limited to treating
juveniles."  He stuck the needle in the seventeen year old's arm and
injected its contents.  "I couldn't do it anyway unless your blood work
came out like hers.  It'd take a few days to find out."  He removed the
syringe and smiled.  "But if you're concerned you should talk to your
regular internist.  They can test you if you're concerned.  Then you can
schedule another inoculation if it's warranted after the blood work comes
back."

   Vicki ran through the mental calculus.  It'd take a day or two to
schedule an appointment with her doctor.  Another couple days for the results
of the blood test to come back.  Then she still had to schedule an
appointment for the inoculation.  She sighed.  It'd be a week or more.

   "Are you sure, Dr. Keith?  Isn't there a way I can talk you into giving
it to me?  As a favor?  On your payment report you can simply say you dropped
the first syringe and had to use a second dose.  Look, I really need to get
myself inoculated again as soon as possible!"

   "Vicki, you're worried about nothing.  Your prior inoculation is almost
certainly good.  Like I said, nothing in the literature suggests what
happened to Kylee is common.  Talk to your doctor.  He or she will put your
mind at rest."  He made a note in the file and smiled.  "Ladies, have a
good day.  Make an appointment with Suzanne to come in again in a couple
weeks.  We'll check you to make sure the Sheridan treatment is working.
After all, young lady, now that you smoke we sure don't want you to get
cancer!"  He laughed.

   "You're right, Dr. Keith," Kylee smiled.  "Thanks a lot."

   He walked through the door.  Vicki groaned.  "Shit!  Now I'm totally
screwed!  Damn!"

   Kylee rolled her sleeve over the inoculation.  She was again amused to
hear her mom use such language.  She never did it in her presence.  "Don't
worry, Mom.  So it takes a few days?  So what?  No big deal.  Tonight we tell
the other Kylee and Vicki you need more time."  She reached in her purse and
got out another cigarette.  "It won't bother me," she grinned.  "I sure
won't mind having a few more days to smoke whenever I feel like it!"

   "That's the trouble," Vicki snapped.  "The longer I'm here the more
likely I'll get hooked on nicotine all over again."  She groaned as Kylee
lit up.  "Shit," she repeated helplessly.  "Shit, shit, shit!  With
everyone including you smoking around me all the time, it's terrible.
Because if other people smoke, I desperately want to smoke myself.  It drives
me fuckin' crazy!"

   Kylee playfully released a long plume of smoke in the air.  She _never_
heard her mother use the `f' word.  She realized she must be _really_
stressed out.  And that's great, she sighed contentedly, because it means
she really wants to smoke.

   "Relax, Mom.  Look, don't fight it.  There's no point.  That's why
nicotine is so great.  It gets under your skin so bad that you can't live
without it.  So why even try?"  She hit on her cigarette.  "Any time you
want to have one I think you should."

   "I can't, Ky," Vicki whined.  Ambient smoke from her daughter's exhale
floated by.  She groaned.  "I just can't.  I know what's in store for me
when I go back.  It'll be hard enough on me as it is.  God!  I don't want
to make it harder by smoking more."

   "Mom.  Listen.  You _have_ to smoke here.  You can't avoid it.  You have
no choice.  So you may as well give in and enjoy it.  Yeah, it may be a
little hard for you when we finally go back to our universe if you decide you
want to quit.  But so what?  You can't avoid that either."  She smiled
sweetly and hit on her B&H.  "But who knows?  Maybe by the time we get home
you'll ultimately decide you _don't_ want to quit.  Maybe you'll decide
you like smoking enough that you'll want to keep doing it.  You'll have the
Sheridan treatment, you know."

   Vicki grew more and more agitated.  "Are you crazy?  I can't smoke back
home.  Cancer or no cancer, no one would understand."  She rubbed her
temples.  "God, I feel so shitty!"  She took a deep breath.  "Kylee,
let's go.  I need to focus on getting the Sheridan treatment.  As soon as I
get to the office I'll call my doctor and make an appointment.  In the
meantime I'm _not_ going to smoke any more than I absolutely have to!"

   Kylee hopped off the examination table onto the floor.  "Suit yourself,
Mom.  But _I'm_ going to smoke as much as I want till we go back."

   They walked out of Dr. Keith's office in silence.  Upon reaching the car
Vicki glared at Kylee.  "Drop that cigarette on the ground, young lady,"
she snapped.  "Right now.  I want you to realize that just as soon as we get
back home to our own world your life as a smoker is over, finished, forever,
just like mine will be!"

   Kylee pumped hard one last time before letting her cigarette fall to the
pavement.  "C'mon, Mom.  Chill.  In nine months I'm 18 and I'll smoke
whether you like it or not.  Hell, if I want to smoke you can't stop me!"
She pushed a prolonged smoky exhale through smiling lips.  "Know what I
think?  I think the reason you feel so bitchy right now is mainly because you
need another cigarette!"  Seeing her mom protest Kylee raised her index
finger to her mouth and made a quiet "hush" sound.  "Don't bullshit me,
Mom.  It's true.  You want to smoke.  If you want to make yourself feel
shitty then be my guest.  But we both know the cure for what ails you is
right there inside your purse!"

   "Kylee!" Vicki snarled.  "Don't use that foul language.  I won't
stand for it!"

   "Mom," her daughter sweetly smiled.  "You've been doing it all
morning.  "I feel so shitty' and `God, it's driving me fuckin' crazy.'
I'm only following in your footsteps."

   Her mother said nothing.  Kylee was right.  It pissed her off but she was
right.  She couldn't control her mouth.  How could she lecture her daughter
if she couldn't stop?  And she knew she couldn't.

   They drove in silence to the high school.  Vicki was furious.  Kylee was
right.  She probably couldn't stop her from smoking when they got home.  And
she herself _did_ want to smoke.  That was the real reason she made Kylee
drop her cigarette before getting in the car.  She knew she couldn't stand
the temptation of its fragrant aroma while driving her to school.

   Kylee got out of the car and waved goodbye.  Vicki took a deep breath and
pulled away from the high school.  Inside her daughter would smoke again.
She wondered how long it'd be till she had to do the same.

   At the county offices she parked her car and walked in.  Everything looked
the same as her world.  Inside the door she saw Sandra the receptionist.
Smoke was rising from an ashtray on Sandra's desk.  Sandra was smoking!
God, it figured.  She sighed and walked down the hall toward her office.  She
passed the desk of her administrative assistant, Gina.  Gina was a young girl
who'd worked for her for two years.  In her world Gina didn't smoke.  But
in this one there sitting on Gina's desk was a large ashtray.  Vicki glanced
at her watch.  It was nine thirty and the ashtray on Gina's desk was already
full of cigarette butts.  She sighed again.  Gina smoked, too?  God, she
should've known.  It seemed that nearly everyone smoked here!

   She put down her briefcase and went behind her desk to switch on her
computer.  She noticed a large cut glass ashtray strategically placed in the
center of her work area.  No surprise.  She expected that.  For a moment she
considered taking the pack of Benson & Hedges out of her purse and putting it
on the desk.  But she didn't.  She feared it'd make her want a cigarette
even more.

   "Hi, Vicki," she heard a voice from the door.  She looked up.  It was
Gina.  Her assistant looked the same as in her universe.  She was a perky,
petite redhead with a ever-present smile on her freckled face.  "How come
you're late?  I expected you at 8:30.  Anything wrong?"

   God, if Gina only knew, she sighed.  "No, everything's fine," she
replied.  "I had to take my seventeen year old to the doctor.  Sorry, Gina.
I should've called and left you a message."

   "No problem," came a quick reply as Gina bounced into the room.
"You've already had several calls."  She handed Vicki a stack of phone
slips.  "Do you want me to get you coffee?"

   "God, that'd be great," Vicki smiled with some effort.  "I'd love
that.  The usual."

   "No problem," Gina grinned.  "I'll be right back."

   Gina's such a great assistant, she sighed as she leafed through her phone
slips.  She sat down and logged onto her computer, bringing up her email and
her task list to check out what was pending.  It looked as if the Vicki in
this world had most of the same items on her to do list as she did back home.
That would make it easier to play the role.

   "Here you go, Vicki."  Gina's voice brought her back to reality.  Gina
put a cup of coffee on her desk.  Vicki looked up.  This time Gina was had a
freshly lit cigarette.  Though it didn't exactly surprise her, the sight of
her admin assistant smoking still upset her a little.

   "Are you okay, Vicki?"

   "Oh, sure, Gina.  I'm fine.  Why do you ask?"  She sipped her coffee.
It tasted good.

   Gina drew on her cork-tipped 100 millimeter cigarette and shrugged.  "I
don't know.  You seem preoccupied or something."  Smoke began flowing from
Gina's smiling lips as she went on talking.  "To tell the truth this is the
first time in months I've seen you turn on your computer without lighting up
a cigarette first.  Are you sure you feel okay?"

   She groaned.  God, the scent of her assistant's cigarette was heavenly.
It was almost too much to bear.  The aroma literally made her mouth water.
Shit, Kylee was right.  It'd be hard to pretend to be the other Vicki and
not smoke.  Otherwise people would think something was wrong.  And at that
moment smelling Gina's cigarette made her want one worse.

   She sighed and opened her purse.  "Oh Gina, I'm fine.  Really."  She
retrieved her Benson & Hedges 100s.  "In fact I was just about to have
one."  She pulled one out of the red and gold pack.  She smiled at her
assistant.  "Yours smells really good to me, Gina," she admitted.  "What
brand are you smoking these days?"

   Gina rolled her eyes.  "God, Vicki, we just had this discussion
yesterday.  I'm surprised you don't recall.  I told you I switched to
menthols.  Remember?"  She leaned over to tap an ash into the large glass
ashtray on Vicki's desk.  "These are Marlboro Menthol 100s.  Remember?  The
full flavored ones?"  She put her cigarette in her mouth and dragged.  "I
find it's easier to smoke more if I smoke menthols," she patiently
explained.  "And you told me I should try to smoke more."  She giggled and
squirted some smoke through her pert little noise.  "You told me it looks
much better for appearance's sake if I smoke all day at my desk, since
you're a member of the commission and everything."

   Vicki nodded as she lit up herself.  She knew her counterpart always
double-pumped her first drag.  So she did, too.  It tasted great; it wasn't
hard.  She inhaled the smoke deep inside.  Ever since leaving Dr. Keith's
office she'd wanted another cigarette.  Despite her trepidation she did
relish the feeling of having smoke inside her lungs.

   "Sure, that's right," Vicki smiled as smoke began pouring from her
mouth as well.  "I forgot.  So, how are you doing, Gina?  How much progress
have you made?"

   "I did a pack and a half yesterday," her lovely assistant proudly
proclaimed.  "You said that smoking menthols might make it easier for me to
smoke more; and you were right.  Thanks for the tip.  I love these," she
laughed, tapping another ash into the ashtray.

   "God, I used to love menthols," Vicki sighed absent-mindedly.  "Back in
the old days I always smoked menthols.  I wonder why I don't now?"

   "Yesterday you told me you still like `em as a change of pace," Gina
observed.  "You smoked a couple of mine yesterday afternoon.  You can have
another one any time," she giggled.

   Vicki hit on her cigarette.  God, it tasted good!  "Thanks, Gina, I might
take you up on that offer."  She directed another exhale toward the ceiling.
"Well, time to get to work."

   "You look a little better now," Gina remarked.  "I guess you just
needed a cigarette, huh?"

   "Yeah, guess so," Vicki smiled a bit too earnestly.  "Thanks, Gina."

   Her assistant left.  Vicki groaned.  God, she _did_ feel better!  It _was_
the fuckin' cigarette that made the difference.  Shit, how in hell was she
going to make it through the day in this universe?  Trouble was, she _did_
want to smoke.  Her assistant expected her to.  Suddenly she decided that
Kylee was right.  It was pointless to try and fight her nicotine cravings.
Smelling Gina smoking outside her door all day would make it fuckin'
impossible to ignore her own own revitalized desire to partake.  With
resignation she raised her B&H to her lips and double-pumped it.  God, it
felt so good to do that!  She sucked the smoke even deeper into her chest.
This time she exhaled in stops and starts, releasing smoke in intermittent
twin streams through her nose.  At that moment she knew the truth.  Shit!
Abstinence was no longer an option.  And worse, she no longer wanted it to
be.

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