It's Been a While, Part 3

Been A While
Part 3
an4@anon.lelnet.com

"So are you excited ?" Ursula asked. She lit a cigarette and exhaled into the
cool night air, wrapping them in smoke. 

They were leaning against each other, warm in the sweatshirts and jeans they
were wearing to keep off the bugs. 

Kirsten lit her own cigarette and soon they were bathed in their smoke. 

"I'm going to miss them but it is a little exciting." 

"It would be even more exciting if you hadn't gone and told your mom you
smoke." 

"Oh yeah, like sneaking around is better. I bet you never had to sneak
around-" 

Ursula laughed. "I never told you how I started, did I ?" 

Kirsten exhaled. "Now that you mention it, no." 

Pausing to trim and inhale, Ursula sat up against her friend enjoying her
warmth and the feeling of the smoke inside her. Her nose exhale was perfectly
formed. They were awash in their smoke and loving it. 

"Mom has a real problem remembering little things. She can recite entire
stories she's written by heart, but ask her where her car keys are and she's
lost. She was running late for work one morning- she was still working at the
paper back them. She had put a pack of cigarettes out on the kitchen table
but she'd forgotten them. I was sitting at the kitchen table, just looking at
them and thinking about what it would be like if they were mine. It was the
first week of school and I was thinking if I just took them, she might never
know. Just then there was an honk, Mom's Saab." 

"She'd remembered them ?" Kirsten asked. 

"Not exactly. She can't back the car out of the driveway without lighting up
and I guess she was all out. I went to the front door and she said "Can you
grab me a pack of cigarettes ? If there isn't one lying around, take one out
of the carton." 

Ursula exhaled, drew again, trimmed. 

"I knew this was my chance. I went inside, to where she keeps her carton- in
the kitchen, second drawer. There was just one pack, so I took it out, pulled
off the cellophane, picked up a lighter. I was thinking- I was thinking about
whether she'd miss the other pack. I was leaning against stealing it from
her, but then I opened the pack and took one out for her.  I was walking into
the living room and I caught a glimpse of myself in the china closet. I put
the cigarette up to my mouth and-" 

"You just knew you had to, right ?" Kirsten exhaled dreamily. 

"Exactly. I walked out to the car and she saw me with the cigarette and the
lighter." 

"Something I should know ?" 

"Just making it easy for you." I handed her the cigarette and lit it for her,
then handed her the pack. 

"Thanks, hon." 

"'Mom,' I said, and boy was I fucking nervous, 'it's your last pack.'" 

"Thanks. I'd have forgotten." And she drove away. I slipped the pack into my
purse and the lighter and decided to walk to school." 

"You smoked your first cigarette walking to school ?" 

"No. I tried though. I took the wrapper off the pack. I kept just kind of
fondling it, but hidden in my purse. Every time I thought 'Now I'm going to
pull one out and light it,' a car would go by. I totally lost my nerve and
before I knew it I had walked three miles to school." 

"It doesn't sound like there's any smoking going on here." 

"Be patient," Ursula said. 

"I had Anna's class last period. She was teaching spreadsheets that day and
when class was over I had a few questions. But as soon as we started talking,
she grabbed her purse and said we should walk outside- I figured she must be
in a real hurry." 

"She just wanted a smoke," Kirsten said. She drew deeply on her own cigarette
and exhaled more heavy smoke that clung to them. 

"Exactly. The second we were out the door, she took out her cigarettes and
lit one. Watching her smoke is really something- I mean, she was totally in a
hurry to light up but you would have never known to watch her. Then she
looked at me and said 'You don't mind if I smoke, do you ?" 

Ursula smiled and smoked. For a full minute she just enjoyed smoking and
being with her friend, then she continued. Kirsten was patient, taking
advantage of her new freedom. 

"So I say 'Oh no. I'm totally cool with the smoking thing.' She looked at me
with- well, it was the first time I really understood what a twinkle in
someone's eyes looks like. 'You are ?' she asked, all mock-serious. And I
blurted out 'Oh yeah. I smoke.'" 

"That was brave of you." 

"Well you know Anna. She's not like most of the teachers." 

"That's because she's not really a teacher, she's a regular person." 

"Hey, teachers are regular people too," Ursula said defensively. 

"Just 'cause you want to be one- hey, I was only kidding." 

Kirsten gave Ursula a little hug and finished her cigarette. 

"Well, Anna looked at me, looked around, I guess not seeing any other adults,
and held out her pack. 'Want one ?" So of course I'm trying to be cool, so I
said 'No thanks, I have my own', and pulled out the pack of cigarettes I'd
taken. Before I really knew what I was doing I'd taken one out and she lit it
for me." 

"You must have been so nervous." 

Ursula had finished her own cigarette as well. She took one out of her pack.
"Hey, want to share one ?" 

Kirsten nodded. She loved sharing cigarettes with Ursula. Her friend lit up,
inhaled sharply and passed the cigarette to Kirsten. 

"That's the thing. We were so busy talking that I wasn't. I'll admit, the
first few inhales were pretty wimpy, but it was strange. I was kind of
expecting not to like it, that it would be harsh and kind of nasty, that I
would cough or something from it. But it was so cool. We walked out to her
car and we were standing there and she takes this really strong pull on her
cigarette and I watched the exhale and all I could think was that was how to
do it. So I decided to do it. I put the cigarette between my lips and drew on
it and got this great exhale going and that's when the professor walked by." 

"Norad ?" 

"None other. Mr. What's so funny young lady. I though for sure I was busted." 

"Come on. The teachers never turn us in if we're outside." 

"It was my first day. I didn't know that. All I knew, or thought I knew, was
that I was screwed. But he just looked at us, smiled, said 'hello, ladies'
and kept going." 

"Well, you know it's because he's hot for her." 

"Yeah, him and every other single male teacher. She's already shot down
Wilkins, Haskins, and Gherkins- the in crowd struck out." 

They laughed. 



JC was not laughing. She lit a cigarette. 

"This is not what I was expecting." 

'I know. You were expecting me to tell you that the reason the bedroom
upstairs is cold in the winter is because you have two misframed windows.
The one along the front of the house and the one to the left of your bed.
Have a carpenter come in, remove the window frames, and reseat the windows.
Probably cost you around 250 dollars." 

"How do you know that ? You haven't even been upstairs." 

Colleen smiled. "I'm good at my job." 

JC blew smoke, and Colleen caught the smell. She seemed to study it. 

"Can you do that again ?" 

"You can have one if you want." 

"I'm not much of a smoker. Please- right at me." 

JC drew intentionally deep, pointing the mouth exhale directly at Colleen,
who drank the smoke in and then started walking around. She took out a piece
of chalk and marked four x's on the floor in a row, about two metres apart. 

"I was wrong. There are four bodies here. And you were right. I'm going to
need one of your cigarettes." 

Beyond asking questions, JC handed her the pack and lighter. Colleen pulled
her back into a ponytail, wrapped it in an hairband, and then lit a
cigarette. She puffed hard on it. She might not be a smoker but she knew how
it was done. 

"Yes. I can see her now-" 

"Who ?" JC asked, not sure whether this or the window thing was creepier.
"And how can there be bodies. This is concrete flooring." 

"Only since about a month before you moved in." 

"How do you know that ? More psychic emanations ?" 

Colleen exhaled, looked at JC like she was simple. "Of course not. Concrete
has no soul- hell, it's not wood. Over in the corner by the washing machine
the workmen scratched the date. Before that, it was a dirt floor. A perfect
place for her to bury the bodies. In fact, she probably only moved out when
your landlord told her that she was going to have a floor poured- which is
one bitch of a job in a finished house. I wonder if she was suspicious of
her." 

"Of who ?" JC asked, perturbed and frustrated. 

"The previous tenant. She was a- tell me, how open to new ideas are you ?" 

"What kind of new ideas ? What's my scale ?" 

"The scale is Mulder to Kirsch, with Skinner to the left of Kirsch and Scully
to the right of Mulder." 

"Scully." 

"She was a vampire." 

JC laughed. "Man, you nailed the windows thing. But a vampire ? No, I won't
bite on that." 

"Very funny." Colleen said, smoking and thinking. "Oh yeah, I can see her now
very clearly, burying the last body. Boy, I can tell you, you'd better hope
this concrete never gives way." 

JC asked why and immediately wished she hadn't. 



Barbara walked into the house. In her right hand was an unlighted cigarette.
In her left was her lighter. 

"Jim ?" 

"Barb, is that you. I have something to ask you-" He sounded more than a
little confused. 

"Well, come out here. I need someone to light this cigarette for me, and
you're nominated." 

He came out of the den to front hall and there she was, holding a cigarette
near her mouth.. Her took the lighter and lit it for her. 

"So those pictures were real ?" 

She answered by inhaling. Holding the smoke in, she said "Kiss me." 

He gave her the most passionate kiss that they had shared in some time. The
smoke mingled in their mouths and what didn't pass she exhaled through her
nose. 

"Do you like that ?" she asked. 

"Ohmigod," he said, making it one word. "Again." 

She inhaled but stepped back. She spoke through her exhale, doing it
naturally, making him very hard. 

"Tell me something first. I was so busy with work that I know you and Juliet
spent a lot of time together. Did the two of you-" 

Jim thought about that, about how much he should say and how much he should
keep to himself. They hadn't had sex, but they'd- 

"I told her that she was a very attractive smoker- and that I wished you
would- that you did-" 

Inhale. Nose exhale. 

"What did she say ?" 

"Not to get my hopes up." 

"Well, how could she know that I would find out- you never would have told
me. See what a little honesty can bring ?" 

He thought about telling her that he and Juliet had shared a few smoky kisses
like the one he wanted right now, decided there was such a thing as too much
honesty. 

"I hope you're not just doing this because-" 

She looked at the way he was bulging out of his pants and thought maybe that
alone was worth it. She inhaled, beckoned him, and they shared another smoky
kiss. He pressed up hard against her and she liked it. 

"It's more than that. All my friends at my new job smoke, too. One of them
took those pictures. I feel like I'm part of something new and exciting.  But
if you want to express your gratitude, it's been a while since you showed me
what you can do with that wonderful tongue of yours. Get the ashtray we use
when Juliet's here and meet me in the living room." 

She went in and trimmed into the fireplace, then closed the drapes and
arranged herself. He came back with the ashtray and saw that she was lying
naked on the rug on top of her jeans. 

He set the ashtray down within her reach and moved to service her, but she
put her hand on his head. 

"How long have you been attracted to smokers ?" 

"Honey !" 

"I just want to make sure that we talk about this first. I want to feel
comfortable- did this start with Juliet ?" 

He smiled. On that point he could be perfectly honest. 

"No. Honey, I started dating when I was fifteen and I've gone out with a
dozen other women." 

"And some of them were smokers ?" 

"About half of them yes." 

"About ?" she asked, drawing on the cigarette. 

"All right, eight." 

"Your first girlfriend ?' 

"Yes." 

"So have been fantasizing about them when we were having sex ?" 

That was an awkward question. There had been a time, but then again, he
imagined everyone did that once in a while. He looked for the most honest
answer that was safe. 

"I've been fantasizing about the moment I hope we're going to have. When I
was looking at that stuff on the internet, I was thinking about you being
like that- like this. That's what it's really about. And this reality right
here is what I want, all I could ask for or need." 

She finished the cigarette. Lit another. 

"Then let's see just how much of a turn on this really is." 

He showed her. 



Anna was sitting on her back porch. It was a quiet night. The bug torches
were burning, making the porch safe haven from the gnats that would otherwise
be settling on her neck, face and hands. 

She put the cigarette between her lips and lit it. 

Pulling smoke, she thought about the benefits of loneliness. 

There was something calm and peaceful about all this, but she sensed a change
coming. There was a charge in the air. Things were getting fucked up, and she
wasn't sure how or why. All she knew for sure was that it something to do
with JC, and that was part she couldn't make sense of. She hardly knew the
woman, but she hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. 

It wasn't sexual, either. Well, it was, but in that dull and patient way that
Anna reserved for women who were out of reach. There wasn't anything to it. 

No, this was more like the dangerous foreboding of an oncoming thunderstorm,
when the summer sky turned the colour of tempered metal and the air hung
heavy and charged. The markings of change, of wind and driving rain. 

She exhaled and the phone rang. 

"Hello ?" she said, picking up the cordless from the deck. 

"Anna ? It's Lisa McDonough." 

Lisa made Anna think of her older sister and a piece fell into place. 

"Hey Lisa, what's up ?" 

"How's Nikki ?" Lisa asked politely. 

"Fine. She's still in Montreal, writing technical articles. I just spoke to
her the other day. What's up ?" 

There was limited sense in small talk with Lisa. The life that woman led- not
much time for the little things. 

"I guess you know I wouldn't be calling just to catch up." 

"Not really your style. Coming this way ?" 

"Yeah. I have a little house investigation to deal with and I was wondering
if you'd be willing to put me up for a few nights ?" 

"Or a few days," Anna said. "You keep your nights busy still, right ?" 

"Exactly." 

"I didn't think that you were doing little side jobs like a single house
anymore. Nikki says that you're pretty big time." 

"Well, I do have a little tiny bit of a rep, but I still do favours for
friends. Colleen called me up and asked me to check something out. I'd stay
with her but she gets the worst headaches when I'm around." 

"You can crash here, I guess. It would be great to see you again." 

"All right, then. I'll stop by in the morning, drop my things, and maybe I
can clear this up and we can spend some time catching up." 

"Are you driving or flying ?" 

"It's only about a three hour drive and from what I understand, it can wait a
few hours. See you." 

With that, she hung up. 

Anna put the phone down, drew on her cigarette, and tried to ignore the way
she was suddenly chilled to the bone. 

She went inside, put a cd in the stereo, and thumbed the track to Rebel Yell. 

"In the midnight hour she cries more, more, more," Billy Idol sneered, and
Anna gave herself to the music. 





JC looked at the lock she'd put on the basement door, gave it a good tug.
The Master lock felt nice and solid in her hand. 

Colleen said there was no risk, that what she'd suggested was just a
precaution. 

There was no reason to believe any of what the woman had said. There was,
after all, no such thing as a vampire. The very idea was so hopelessly
ludicrous that she could hardly believe. 

Why had someone put a lock on the basement door anyway ? 

The latch and loop had been there when she'd moved in but she'd never
considered putting a lock on it until tonight. Was it fear that was making
her sweat, or just the muggy air ? 

She walked into the kitchen, picked up the phone and dialed the landlord. 

"Hello ?" 

"This is JC. I just wanted to let you know the house inspection's been done-" 

"Anything I should know about ?" 

"A couple of the upstairs windows need to be reframed before winter. No big
deal. Just a couple hundred dollars and I don't care about that." She paused,
then added. "Are you still in touch with the previous tenant ?" 

"No. Why ?" 

"I found a box of her clothes-" JC lied on the spot of the moment. 

"Really ? I went over the house before you moved in. I didn't find anything." 

"There was a box in the corner of the attic." 

"You know, I didn't go in the attic. I didn't have a step ladder." 

"Well, the inspection agent insisted." 

"I wouldn't worry about it. She didn't leave a forwarding address." 

"Really ?" 

"Believe me, that's not uncommon. Credit card bills, junk mail- some people
just want a clean break. I wait until the utility bills clear and then I
return the security deposit. She cashed my check the same day I gave it to
her and that's the last I saw of her. Her name is Michelle Pogram. But I
wouldn't worry about it. If there's anything you can use, keep it. If not,
just give it to the Salvation Army. She would have come back if she'd left
anything behind she wanted." 

That thought did not improve JC's mood. 

But at least she had a name. 

"Well, go ahead and get those papers drawn up. I spoke to that lawyer on the
phone today and I think he's fine." 

"Oh, he is fine, all right." 

"I meant as a lawyer." 

They both laughed. 

"You know," the landlord said, conspiratorially, "he's your age and single." 

"I'm only in the market for an house," JC said good-naturedly. 

"Well, an impulse purchase, then." 

They laughed again, exchanged a few more pleasantries, and then JC was left
alone in an house that didn't feel so much hers anymore. 



Kirsten lit a cigarette, walked outside. 

There was JC, sitting on the steps, smoking a cigarette. She got up and
walked over to her neighbour. 

"How come you're not inside studying ?" JC asked, looking up. 

"Getting a head start on being a surrogate parent ?" Kirsten joked. 

JC exhaled. "Something like that." 

"Well, Ursula and I already studied for our math final. I don't want to
confuse myself with anything else tonight. This is the only time that I miss
Michelle." 

"Michelle ?" JC asked, her interest piqued. 

"Yeah. She lived in the house before you did." 

"Did you know her ?" 

Kirsten held the cigarette out by her waist and trimmed, then inhaled. She
spoke through the exhale, deepening her voice. 

"Not really. She was pretty quiet. But I guess she's a math professor
somewhere. Hard to believe someone who looks so young could be a professor.
But she knew her math. She's the reason I'm talking Calculus as a junior. I
was struggling with Algebra when she started tutoring me. By the time she
moved out I was second in the class in math." 

"Sorry. I won't be able to help you there. As an auditor, all my math was
business math. It's funny. I work with numbers all day, but from a
theoretical standpoint, I was never any good at math at all. What was she
like ?" 

"Michelle ?" Kirsten thought about the question, smoking as she formulated an
answer. 

"Honestly, I never really got to know her. Our study sessions were always
pretty tight. Outside of that, the only time I saw her was when she was
sitting outside smoking." 

"I guess I can understand why she'd be doing that," JC said. 

"Yeah," Kirsten said with a laugh. "Guess she couldn't afford to buy the
place. I'd see her just about every night- sitting over there on the steps
with a book, smoking and reading. Always wearing jeans and a long-sleeved
shirt, even in the middle of the summer. And sunglasses." 

"Did she ever say why ?" 

"She said she had polymorphous light eruption. That's like an allergy to the
sun. But she said she had some other light sensitivity disorder as well. I
don't really remember what she called it. I think she just thought she was
cool in jeans, tight shirts, and those sunglasses." 

"Was she cool ?" 

"I thought she might be, but when your exposure to someone is through math-
well, math isn't the coolest thing in the world. It was hard to tell." 

JC and Kirsten smoked and exchanged small talk for a while and then went
their separate ways. But now JC had something to work with. 



Michelle was distracted, and Kevin, her graduate assistant, could tell. He
looked at her with brown sugar eyes and sighed. He couldn't understand what
she was doing at this state school. It was like she was hiding. Even the
University on the other side of town was a better gig than this one. 

It wasn't that she wasn't attractive. She was, but pretty steel eyes and long
blonde hair wasn't really the currency mathematicians traded in. She was a
Nordic beauty for sure, although there was nothing Nordic about her name. It
was the stuff she came up with. Wild theoretical stuff. 

She had been published. In fact, she was still a few weeks short of
thirty-two and she was a full professor with four major papers to her name.
She had appeared at a few conferences but she'd also turned down some pretty
decent gigs. And the truth was, the shit she was sitting on was better than
what she'd published. She'd almost hinted at the fact that what she'd
published had been what she knew was just enough to get her a full
professorship. 

She'd let him see some of the other stuff and even though he only
half-understood it, he knew what word described it. Nobel. It wasn't just
theoretical math. It was the sort of math that could- 

She looked at him with those cold steely eyes of her and said "Math can't
change the world, Kevin. Not anymore. And when it does, bad things happen." 

That was her excuse. Good math in the hands of bad people, yada yada yada. 

"Go home. I'm going home. We can grade the rest of those assignments before
class tomorrow." 

"You just need coffee and a cigarette-" 

"You're right-" she said, although that was only part of what she needed and
wanted. "But I also need to get out of this fucking office and get some
sleep. All I can see are C's and D's and that's never good. The college gets
edgy when the bell curve swings south of B-. Go by the video store, rent
yourself some really good porn and drink a few beers." 

Kevin smiled. She sure was different. And totally out of reach. 

He grabbed her pack. "Come on, I'll walk you to your car." 

Michelle waited until they were out in the hall to light her cigarette, a
long white one. VS 120s were the brand. In general, Kevin disliked smoking
and he had an hard time reconciling her brilliance with the fact that she
smoked, but there was something about the way she did it that made it more
tolerable. She did her best to keep the smoke away from him. 

"Do you need a ride ?" she asked. 

"No. The video store that rents the porn is just a block from here. If they'd
only sell beer and TV dinners, it'd been one stop shopping." 

"Thanks for the help. I couldn't handle these condensed summer courses
without you. See you at 8." 

She touched him gently on the shoulder and he felt as though he'd been hit
with an electric shock. 

Michelle stood by her car, smoking and watching his back as he walked away,
not looking back. She had rules and one of them was about feeding off her
students, which was a total no go. She would have loved to- he was warm and
vibrant and he liked her and that would make his blood sweet- but he was
visible to the world and he was connected to her and that was how it worked. 

The nice thing about working a twelve hour day was that it was an easy
commute home. 

She was back at the house in fifteen minutes, the same drive that took two or
three times that long in the morning. She sat down, lit a cigarette, drank a
beer, but it did nothing for her. When the memory of the taste of blood
become so near- so all-consuming- there was nothing to do but feed. 

Strange. She felt herself thinking back to the old house. That dirt floor.
She could keep people there. No questions, no interference. 

She really hated the killing part. That was how the whole basement thing had
started. She could feed off someone for months, and when the time finally
came, well, she didn't so much kill them as turn them. Too bad how that whole
bit had worked out. Of course, they were all under seals. The Seal of Watrous
Abbey. Not dead, but not undead either. Just waiting. 

Under three inches of concrete floor. 

"Boy, did I bollux that up." 

But reflection and recrimination wasn't going to solve the fact that her
stomach was twisted into a Gordian knot. 

She walked out of the house and up the street. The coffee shoppe was three
blocks away. Michelle caught snatches of conversation as she walked up the
street past the people congregated outside smoking. 

"And then Kirsten said-" 

"Boy was Dad ripped." 

"Can't believe finals start tomorrow-" 

"-the band sucked. It was like they were covering their own-" 

Michelle made her mark on the way in. She kept the excitement of the
bloodsong from her face, from her hands. It was hard work, but she had plenty
of experience. She walked into the shoppe, ordered a latte, took her time
with it, and then walked back out. On her way past the mark she brushed her
shoulder so gently that she didn't notice. 

A really cute girl, maybe 16. She gave her the suggestion of leaving and went
down the block. Two blocks and she ducked in a tight alley that was poorly
lit and perfect for the job, and then she lit a cigarette and waited. It took
about five minutes, but then she felt her coming. There were no cars out on
the street, no pedestrians. 

She saw her shadow approach, backlit by sodium arc lighting. 

The girl appeared. She was just taking a deep inhale on her cigarette and
Michelle waited until she moved it from her mouth and then simply grabbed
her. It was over in half a second. Michelle pressed the girl hard against the
wall, one hand holding her in place, the other over her mouth. She wanted to
make it quick, not be seen. This was just a snack, after all. 

"Listen up. I'm not going to hurt you if-" 

Ursula bit Michelle's hand, drawing blood. 

Shit. Why did she have to draw blood ? That might be bad. But Michelle
couldn't worry about that now. The frenzy was on her and she could only wait
so long. 

"You're going to have to do better than that-" 

Ursula kicked Michelle in the shin. 

As if it hadn't happened, Michelle looked into her eyes. 

"You're about to be stung by a pair of bees. They're going to draw a little
blood. When it's over, you'll wipe away the blood and put a bandage over the
stings. You'll leave that bandage in place two days and then the stings will
be mostly healed. I'm not here right now. I never was. You won't remember
me." 

Ursula had gone slack. There would be no more biting or kicking. The spell
was in place. 

"Nod if you understand me ?" 

Ursula nodded. 

Michelle extended her upper incisors only, moved Ursula's shirt aside. 

"Go ahead and smoke if you want." 

Ursula smoked mechanically as Michelle fed. She pressed up tight against the
girl, whose nipples went hard. Her blood was warm, hot with Michelle's blood.
It was going to be a problem, but Michelle couldn't worry about that. She
drank about a pint worth, took a small towel out of her purse, cleaned the
area, and carefully placed a large Band-Aid over the area. 

"Now, give me a puff on that cigarette." 

Ursula turned her hand and brought it up to Michelle's waiting lips. She drew
deeply on it, and then walked down the alley unseen. 

A moment later, Ursula stepped out from the alleyway. She put her hand on the
Band-Aid. 

"Fucking bees. Good thing I had this Band-Aid." 

She walked home, but her dreams that night went beyond strange. 

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