By the Carton

By the carton
by Suburbanlife16

"But, Pia, I bought you two packets only yesterday."

"Yes, Mum, but remember Saturday is party night and I went to a party last
night.  You're meant to enjoy yourself at a party.  And I enjoy myself when
I'm smoking.  So I smoked about a packet and a half at the party.  So could
you please go down to the shop and buy me some more, please?  I'm starting
to get cravings so I need to have another cigarette very soon."

"I wish the Government would let 16-year-olds buy their own cigarettes.
Then you'd be able to buy them yourself and, what's more, you could pay for
them yourself."

"I promise I'll start paying for them when I turn 18 and I can buy them
legally for myself.  But, in the meantime . . ."

"In the meantime, I wasn't going to the shop.  And now you want me to go
down just for you?"

"Yes, please.  But why don't you do what Cathy Johnson's Mum does?  She
buys Cathy her cigarettes a carton at a time.  If you did that, you wouldn't
have to buy them so often and you'd probably save money by buying them in
bulk."

"I'll think about that.  But you said you smoked a packet and a half at the
party.  What happened to the other half a packet?"

"Well, you know Brian came back home with me last night?"

"Yes, sweetheart, I saw the used condom in the toilet this morning.  I wish
you'd get him to flush the toilet when he does that."

"Sorry about that, Mum.  I'll remind him."

"What were you going to tell me about Brian?"

"He likes me to smoke during sex.  He says it gives him a bigger erection.
And that means I have a better orgasm.  And then it's nice to have one or
two smokes after you've had sex."

"I'll take your word for smoking after sex - in my day women never talked
about things like smoking after sex.  And your father never gave me many
orgasms - he was more of your `wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am' type."

"But that was back in the dark ages, Mum.  Now that Dad's off the scene,
you ought to find a boyfriend who's more attuned to the 21st century - you
know, a sensitive, new-age guy."

"Yes, I might just surprise you and do that.  Next you'll be suggesting
that I start smoking again, I suppose."

"Why don't you, Mum?  It's too late to set me a good example - I'm
already completely hooked.  So you've got nothing to lose.  Did you enjoy it
back when you were smoking?"

"Yes, Pia, I did, and it wasn't easy to give up.  Yet it'd be so easy to
start again."

"I like the way you're talking, Mum.  Let's both go down to the shop and
you can buy yourself some ciggies, while you're buying mine.  You can never
tell - perhaps a nice man will see you smoking and want to seduce you."

"You're being silly now.  But maybe I'll just buy one packet and see if I
still enjoy it."

++++

"But, Pia, I bought you a whole carton just last Sunday."

"Yes, Mum, and I appreciated that fact that you bought me that carton.  It
was good not having to ask you to buy me smokes every day during the week.  I
must ask Cathy Johnson to thank her Mum for setting such a good precedent."

"So how come you smoked the whole carton?"

"Seeing you smoke now has made me want to smoke more.  Since you're
obviously enjoying smoking again now, you can't blame me for wanting to
enjoy myself too.  So could you please go down to the shop now and buy me
another carton, please?  I'm starting to get cravings so I need to have
another cigarette very soon."

"I'd give you one of mine, but I've run out too."

"So you finished the packet that you bought last Sunday to see if you like
smoking?"

"Oh, yes, I smoked them all by Monday and decided that I did enjoy it.  So,
the next day, I went back and bought myself a carton too."

"Does that mean you've actually smoked more than me during the week?  Your
first packet plus a whole carton as well!"

"Yes, but I was only smoking about a packet a day until the weekend came
around.  On Friday night I noticed that I still had over three packets left
in the carton and I thought they would last me for at least the weekend."

"So what happened during the weekend that made you smoke three packets?"

"You know Steve, the man who rang up during the week?"

"The one you said was a business associate?"

"Yes, Pia, at the time he rang, that's what he was - a business associate.
But he became a bit more than a business associate last night."

"Oh, so that's why there was a used condom in the toilet this morning?"

"Yes, I suppose so.  Sorry, he must have forgotten to flush it.  I'll
remind him next time."

"How did Steve suddenly become `more than a business associate'?"

"I found out that you were right about Saturday being party night.  And I
was enjoying myself when I smoked at the party I went to last night with
Steve."

"You went to a party on a date with him last night?"

"I certainly did."

"Was this was your first date with him?"

"Yes, but I've known him for a lot longer through our business
association."

"And you had sex with him on your first date?"

"It's not illegal, you know.  And I am 38 years old.  What's more, just
like your Brian, Steve likes me smoking during sex.  As a result, he had a
big erection and gave me the best orgasm of my life."

"And you had a cigarette after sex?"

"Or two or three . . . or was it four?"

"Good luck to you, Mum.  I hope you really enjoyed it.  But now, quick,
let's go down to the shop, because I reckon you have to buy two cartons of
smokes."

"I wonder if you can buy condoms by the carton as well."