Caitlin's Education

(by, 31 October 2002)

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***NOTE:   This is the third in a series which follows the lives of a mother
and daughter.  If you'd like to follow the plot, you should begin with
"Caitlin's Smoking Life", then "Liz in Philly" before reading this
story.  Be warned that this story contains many subjects that may offend
certain people.  If the topics of illegal drug use, as well as underage
experimentation with various substances (including tobacco) offend you, you
may not want to read this story.  As this is a story which follows the
subjects through many phases of their lives, it starts while many of the
characters are underage, but is not intended to either condone or glorify
underage substance abuse.  As the story progresses in multiple chapters, the
characters will "mature".  The author does not encourage anyone to consume
alcohol until they are at least 21 years of age, nor does the author
encourage the experimentation with illegal narcotics at any age.***

Caitlin's Education

Caitlin was now 18 years old.  She had graduated from high school 2nd in her
class, and gave a very inspirational speech at the commencement ceremonies
that were held some three months earlier.  Now, here she was, at one of the
best universities in the country.  Alone.

She had never told her mother Liz about her weekend of experimentation during
her freshman year.  It had been one hell of a weekend.  Her best friends,
Megan and Erin, had come over to spend the night.  Megan and Caitlin each
smoked their first cigarettes that weekend, and all three girls smoked
marijuana for the first time, as well.

Caitlin was hesitant to admit how much she'd enjoyed the feeling of being
high.  She just didn't want to admit to herself that she'd liked it, for
she feared that if she did, she'd be tempted to smoke it again.
Fortunately, she thought, she'd been able to say no every time she had since
been offered.

After that incredible weekend, Megan and Erin had both offered weed to her on
multiple occasions, but Caitlin was always able to say no.  It was difficult,
but she managed.

College was several hundred miles from home, which everyone knew would take
some getting used to on Caitlin's part, but when she met her roommate,
Ashley, she knew she'd be fine.

Ashley looked a lot like Caitlin.  The two could have easily passed as
sisters.  Ashley was from Miami, so she was also quite a ways from her

"So tell me about yourself," Ashley said on this, the first night they'd
spent in their dorm rooms.

"What would you like to know?" laughed Caitlin.

"Well, what do you like to do?  What are you into?"  replied Ashley.

"Well, I like to shop, but don't we all?" Caitlin said, giggling

"No, no, no," started Ashley.  "Do you drink?"

"Sometimes at parties and stuff like that," answered Caitlin.

"Smoke?"  asked Ashley.

"No, I tried it in high school with some friends, but I don't smoke now,"
Caitlin responded.

"Oh," said Ashley, sounding disappointed.

"You sound shocked.  You're not one of those people who hates smokers, are
you?" Caitlin inquired.

"Oh, God no," Ashley started.  "Trust me.  That's not me at all!"

"Then why are you in a non-smoking dorm?"  asked Caitlin.

"Well, it wasn't exactly my choice," Ashley began.  "My parents don't
know that I smoke, and they'd hardly approve so I sorta had to hide it from
them on my application!"

The two girls laughed at Ashley's scheming.

"Where are you going to smoke though?" asked Caitlin.

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," replied Ashley.

"If I turn the fan on, would it be alright with you if I smoke in the
bathroom?" Ashley asked, hoping Caitlin would approve.

"Yeah, I guess that's okay.  My mom smoked a lot when I was a kid, so it's
not like it's going to bother me!"  

Ashley was relieved that her new friend was going to let her smoke in the
dorm.  This would save a lot of time that would normally be spent going up
and down the stairs.

"Good, then I'm gonna go have one now!"  Ashley declared.

Ashley grabbed her purse, and pulled out a pack of Marlboro Reds and a
lighter.  She removed one of the cork-tipped cigarettes from the red and
white pack, and put the pack back in her purse.  She then disappeared into
the bathroom and closed the door.  Caitlin heard the flick of a lighter, and
the humming of the exhaust fan.

Caitlin sat on her bed, across the room from Ashley's.  Ashley's purse was
lying open on the bed.  Caitlin was filled with the same curiosity that
she'd felt a few years ago when she'd tried smoking with her friends.

Without hesitation, Caitlin nervously walked to Ashley's bed.  She opened
the purse, and found the pack of cigarettes sitting inside.  She took the box
out, and flipped the top.  The pack was almost full.

She removed a cigarette, and held it in her fingers.  She wasn't nearly as
nervous as the times she'd actually smoked that weekend.

Raising the unlit cigarette to her lips, Caitlin caught her reflection in the
mirror that Ashley had hung before she arrived.  Caitlin was again astounded
at what she saw.

Now that she was older, she looked even older and sexier with the cigarette
in her mouth.

She took a pretend drag, and breathed in deeply as she removed the orange
filter from her lips.

Caitlin held her breath, then exhaled a tiny stream of imaginary smoke.  

"I actually sorta miss it," Caitlin thought, bringing the filter to her
mouth again.

After the second pretend drag, Caitlin heard the fan turn off, and she
quickly returned the cigarette to her friend's pack without being caught.

She jumped back to her own bed as Ashley came out of the bathroom.

"God, that feels great!" she said.

Caitlin just smiled as Ashley sat back on the bed.

"All ready for classes tomorrow?" she asked.

"I'm a little nervous, but I guess I'll get over that," Caitlin answered.

"Yeah, what's your schedule like?" asked Ashley.

Caitlin explained that on Tuesdays she got out of class around 3.  Ashley
told Caitlin that she had class until 6 on Tuesdays, and only until 3 the
rest of the week.

"Yeah, but you get to sleep in until like noon, don't you?"  she laughed

"Nah, my first class is at 11," answered Ashley.

Caitlin laughed.

"Must be nice," she said.  "I have to go at 8!"

The two girls told each other stories about their childhood for the rest of
the night.  Caitlin learned that Ashley was also a cheerleader, and although
she hadn't made the team this year, she was hoping to make the cut next
year.  She also discovered that both girls were single, yet eager to get a

That night, Caitlin dreamt that she was home, with Megan and Erin, smoking
cigarettes and getting high.  She woke for class in the morning, and for a
little while, was disappointed that it was only a dream.

Caitlin's afternoon class got out early, meaning she returned to the dorm at
around 2:30.  She walked into the room, and set her bag on the bed. 

She had consumed a large bottle of water during her class, and needed to go
to the bathroom rather badly.

She walked in, and turned on the light.  Immediately, she smelled the faint
odor of smoke.

After finishing what she'd gone in there for, she turned the water on in the
sink to wash her hands.  She noticed Ashley's ashtray sitting on the back of
the counter.  There were four cigarette butts stubbed out inside.  Each one
was only about 75% smoked.  Apparently, Ashley didn't like to smoke the last

Caitlin was surprisingly excited.

"I've got to find a lighter," she said defiantly.

She knew that she didn't have what she sought, but hoped that maybe Ashley
was like her mother used to be, and kept a spare hidden, just for such

As it turned out, Caitlin's hunch was right.  Tucked deep in Ashley's sock
drawer, Caitlin found an entire pack of disposable lighters.

She returned to the bathroom.

Picking up one of the cigarette butts, she dusted a little ash off the tip of
the filter.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," she said.

She put the cigarette in her mouth, and flicked the lighter.

The flame flickered from the nervous breaths escaping Caitlin's nose.

She moved the orange flame to the tip of the cigarette, which was burnt
slightly from it's earlier smoking.

She sucked on the filter, and felt the smoke entering her mouth.  Removing
the orange filter, Caitlin closed her eyes and inhaled as deeply as she

She wasn't prepared for the stronger flavor of these full strength
cigarettes, and coughed the smoke right out.  Her eyes were watering.

"Whoa," Caitlin said as the coughing subsided.  "That didn't happen last

She brought the cigarette to her mouth once more, taking a slightly smaller
puff.  She inhaled, and this time the smoke flowed freely into her waiting

She held her breath for a few seconds before exhaling a stream of smoke to
the ceiling.

Instantly, Caitlin was glad she was smoking, although she still had no desire
to smoke all the time.  

"Maybe I'll smoke one once in a while," she thought.

She was able to take four moderate sized drags on the cigarette before it was
finished.  She stubbed it out in the ashtray and turned on the fan as she
exhaled another stream of smoke upwards.

She felt a little dizzy, something she hadn't felt since she got high with
Megan and Erin.  It felt great.

An hour or so later, Caitlin was reading one of her assignments when she felt
the urge to smoke again.  She looked at the clock.  It was only 4 o'clock.
Ashley wouldn't be home for another two hours.

She returned to the bathroom, and took the lighter out of her pocket.

She picked up the next largest cigarette butt, and lit it with ease.

She inhaled a huge puff, and held it deep in her lungs.  This time, as she
exhaled a tight stream of smoke, she noticed a little bit of smoke escaping
from her nose.  She concluded that if she smoked, this is the style she'd
have.  She really liked the way it looked.

Smoking the stronger cigarette reminded Caitlin of the bong that Erin had
made out of the two liter soda bottle that infamous weekend.  She had an

Caitlin brought the cigarette to her lips again.  This time, rather than pull
the creamy white smoke into her mouth, and then into her lungs, she inhaled
directly off the cigarette.  She inhaled as long as she could.  The smoke
burned her throat a lot more than she'd expected, but she didn't cough.
She was able to inhale the rest of the cigarette with one single drag.  She
held the smoke in as long as she could.

She exhaled the smoke towards the ceiling, again letting just a little bit
escape her nose towards the end.  She saw her full exhale in the mirror, and
Caitlin loved how she looked when she smoked, but she still resisted the
temptation to start smoking.

"Once in a while," she thought to herself again.

After this cigarette was out, Caitlin walked back into the bedroom to return
Ashley's lighter.  As she was putting it away, she decided that she should
hold onto it, just in case she needed it later on.  Ashley probably wouldn't
miss it anyway.

Caitlin finished her reading assignment, and turned on the television.  She
was watching MTV when the door opened and Ashley walked in.

"Hi, honey, I'm home!" Ashley said sarcastically.  "Hey, how was class?"
Caitlin asked.

"Great, you?"  replied Ashley.

"It was alright," answered Caitlin, hoping Ashley couldn't smell the smoke
from earlier.

"I met this girl at lunch who has been on the cheerleading team for like two
or three years.  She said she'd help me learn their routines so I can have a
better shot next year."

"That's cool!" Caitlin said.  She hadn't planned on cheering in college,
but Ashley's enthusiasm made it sound like so much fun.

"Do you think she could help me, too?" she asked Ashley.

"I don't know, probably.  I thought you weren't going to cheer here?"
Ashley asked, confused.

"I wasn't planning on it, but you make me miss it!" Caitlin responded.

"Well, we're going to go get something to eat tonight, and she said she'll
tell me all about it afterwards.  You wanna come?"  asked Ashley.

"You don't mind?" Caitlin asked.

"No, not at all," answered Ashley.

"Cool, I'll definitely come then!" Caitlin said, leaping from the bed.

"Then you'd better get ready," started Ashley.  "She'll be here in like
15 minutes!"

The two girls began to get dressed.  Ashley left once to go into the
bathroom.  Caitlin assumed she went in to smoke, and felt a little jealous.
She couldn't understand these feelings.  She figured that maybe it was just
that she was so far from home, and the memory of that weekend with Erin and
Meghan made her feel closer.

Ashley was smoking a Marlboro as the two girls waited outside their dorm for
her friend to arrive.

A black BMW pulled up, the driver honking it's horn.

"That's her," said Ashley.

Caitlin was impressed by the car.  She'd grown up around people with money,
but she'd never known anyone even remotely close to her age with such an
expensive vehicle.

"Hi," said Ashley, as she climbed in the back seat, leaving the front open
for Caitlin, who felt awkward, seeing as she'd never met this girl before.

"This is my friend Caitlin," Ashley said.  "She cheered in high school
too, and is thinking about trying to get on the team next year."

"Nice to meet you Caitlin," the girl said, moving a cigarette to her left
hand so she could shake Caitlin's hand.  "My name is Stacy.  I hope you
don't mind if I smoke."

The truth was that Caitlin didn't mind at all.  She wondered if everyone at
this college smoked.

"No, I don't mind at all, it is your car,  and it's nice to meet you,
too," she answered.  "I like you," laughed Stacy.  "Even though I've
only smoked a few years now, I hate that no one smokes anymore."

Caitlin was going to speak up and tell Stacy that she didn't exactly smoke,
but she held her tongue.  Caitlin wasn't sure what was happening to her.

The three girls drove down the road talking about cheerleading.  They arrived
at the fast food place, and Stacy turned off the car.  Caitlin started to
open the door.

"Hold on," interrupted Stacy.  "I'm not ready yet."

Caitlin and Ashley said nothing, assuming she wanted to finish her cigarette.
That suspicion was quickly squashed, though.

"Hold this," she said, handing her Newport 100 to Caitlin.

Stacy reached under the seat, and pulled out a small cigar box.

Caitlin hoped she wasn't the only one whose heart was pounding out of her
chest in curiosity.  She wasn't.  Ashley's heart was beating even faster.

Stacy produced a medium sized Ziploc bag, filled with something that was
concealed by the darkness of the car.  She turned on the dome light, and
Caitlin recognized the contents of the bag as marijuana.

"Anyone mind if I smoke before we go in?" she asked.

Ashley said nothing, but Caitlin spoke up.

"I don't mind at all!"  

She wondered if she could have some of the weed.  She also wondered if she
even wanted some.

"You guys burn?" she asked.

"I did once," Caitlin answered.

"No, I don't," was Ashley's reply.

"Have you ever tried it?"  asked Stacy.

"No," Ashley said.

Stacy asked, putting a big pinch of weed into a piece of paper.  Caitlin
figured she was making a joint.

When the joint was completed, she put it in her mouth, and flicked the
lighter.  Caitlin flicked the ash out the window.

Stacy flicked the lighter, and lit the tip of the joint.  She took three
quick hits, and inhaled the smoke deep inside her lungs.

She held the joint towards Caitlin.

"Oh, why not?" she said, taking the joint in her trembling hands.  Caitlin
handed Stacy's cigarette to Ashley.

"Make yourself useful," she joked.

She raised it to her lips, and took a moderately sized hit.  Inhaling the
smoke, she passed the joint to Ashley.

"No, thank you," Ashley refused.

"Up to you," Stacy said, taking the joint from Caitlin.

She put it close to her lips, and took a deep hit.  She opened her mouth, and
Caitlin could somewhat see a ball of thick white smoke in her mouth.  She
inhaled, and the ball of smoke disappeared into her lungs.  She handed the
joint back to Caitlin.

Caitlin mimicked her older friend's motions, taking the largest hit she'd
ever taken in her life, opening her mouth, then swallowing the smoke inside

She held it in as long as she could before exhaling slowly from her nose.
She passed the joint back to Stacy.

"I can't believe you're doing that," said Ashley to Caitlin.

"Why?  It's no big deal really," Caitlin defended.

"But you don't even smoke cigarettes, and you're getting high?"  Ashley

"I got high before I ever smoked a cigarette," inserted Stacy as she
exhaled more pot smoke.

"REALLY?" asked Ashley, surprised at Stacy's revelation.

"Yes, really," replied Stacy.  "It's awesome!"

"Well I'm not gonna do it," said Ashley.

"Like I said," started Stacy.  "It's your choice.  If you want to cheer,
though, you can't get so touchy when you see someone getting stoned."

"Why's that?" asked Ashley.

"Because everyone on the squad gets high, and it's not just weed,"
explained Stacy.

"Oh, come on, not everyone does it," said Ashley as Caitlin took another
hit on the joint.

"Let's put it this way," started Stacy.  "There was one girl who didn't,
and she doesn't cheer anymore."

"Wow," said Ashley.  "Why would I want to get involved in that?"

Stacy just laughed and took double hit.

"Because it's so much fun!" Caitlin said.

"I dunno, I don't want to be a druggie!" declared Ashley.

Stacy put the joint out, and put it back into the cigar box.  

"You don't have to be a druggie," she said.  "Look at Caitlin here.  She
gets high once in a while, and she's not a druggie!"  Ashley looked at
Caitlin as instructed.  Caitlin was taking a Newport out of Stacy's pack,
and putting it in her mouth.  She lit it, and took a double puff.

Ashley thought briefly of asking what Caitlin was doing now, but knew that
after smoking pot, a cigarette was probably no big deal to Caitlin.

She handed Stacy's Newport back to her, and lit her own Marlboro.

"Everything's changing," thought Ashley.  "And I'm not sure if I like

By now, Caitlin was completely stoned.  It felt different than she
remembered, but she liked it.  The three girls got their food, and were
trying to decide where to go to eat it.

"We can go to our dorm," said Ashley.

"We could, or we could go back to my apartment.  There's more to do
there," replied Stacy.

Caitlin seemed to like this idea, but Ashley was dead set against it.

"If you guys wanna go there, can you drop me off first?" she asked.

"Yeah sure, but you're more than welcome to come with us," Stacy invited.

"I know, I've got a shit load of stuff to get ready for class tomorrow,"
Ashley said.

"We're not gonna smoke," said Stacy.

"No, I know, that's fine.  I just have to get ready," answered Ashley.

"Okay," said Stacy.

They dropped Ashley off at the dorm, and headed to Stacy's off campus

As soon as Ashley got out of the car, Caitlin spoke up.

"We're not gonna smoke?" she said, sounding disappointed.

"I just told her that to make her feel better about coming.  You can if you
want to, but I wasn't planning on it anyway," Stacy said.

"Oh, okay," Caitlin said.  "Can I have a cigarette?"

Stacy laughed.

"I thought you didn't smoke?" 

"I don't-.I mean, regularly anyway.  It's confusing, really," said
Caitlin, laughing.

"Help yourself," started Stacy.  "Do you want to stop and get your own?"

Caitlin was in shock.  She'd never thought of buying her own cigarettes
before, because she'd never planned on becoming a smoker.

She didn't want to sound like a chicken to her new friend, and she was
pretty stoned.

"Sure, why not?" she said.  "There's a problem though." "I can lend you
the money, if that's what you need," Stacy offered.

Caitlin laughed.

"No, it's not that, I've got money," she replied.  "It's just, I've
never bought cigarettes before, and I don't know what kind to get!"

Stacy laughed hard.

"You are new, aren't you?"

Caitlin didn't answer.

"Did you like the one of mine that you smoked?"

Caitlin replied, "Yeah, it was okay I guess."

"Ok, then all you have to do is ask for a pack of Newport 100's," Stacy

"Alright.  Here goes nothing," Caitlin said with a sigh.

She walked into the store, and up to the counter.  She considered picking up
a lighter, but she remembered she had stolen Ashley's earlier in the day.

The clerk looked at her.

"Can I help you?" the girl asked.

"I just need a pack of Newport 100s," Caitlin said nervously.

Any nervousness apparently wasn't noticed by the clerk, who smiled and said,
"Box or soft pack?"

Caitlin froze.  She didn't know what to do.

"Box," she replied, unsure what that meant.

The clerk set the pack on the counter.  She never even looked at Caitlin to
see if she was of age.

"Five twenty-seven," she said.

Caitlin took a ten dollar bill out of her wallet and handed it to the clerk,
who gave her four dollars and seventy-three cents change.  Caitlin picked up
the pack of cigarettes, and went back out to the car, where Stacy was

"See?  That wasn't that bad, was it?"  she asked.

"Ohmigod, I thought I was going to die!" Caitlin laughed.

"Relax," Stacy started.  "Have a cigarette and you'll calm down."

The idea sounded great to Caitlin.  She tore off the plastic wrapper, and
opened the box.  Tearing the foil cover off the top, she saw 20 long,
cork-tipped cigarettes.  They were her cigarettes.

She slid one out of the box, and put it in her lips.  Stacy was quick to
flick a lighter, and hold the flame towards Caitlin, who accepted the light
with ease.

The tobacco began to burn, and Caitlin sucked the minty smoke into her mouth.
She inhaled deeply, and held the smoke inside, before exhaling a cloud out
the window.

"That's much better," the stoned 18-year old said with a smile.

"Well, congratulations," Stacy said.

"Why?" asked Caitlin.

"Well you've officially started smoking!  You're a smoker now!" explained

Caitlin hadn't even thought of that before.  She didn't know if she wanted
to become a smoker, but she knew that she loved smoking.  What would she tell
her mom?

"Yeah, um, thanks," replied Caitlin.

The two girls drove down the road, smoking and laughing.  They arrived at
Stacy's apartment, and Caitlin was impressed at how nice it was.  It looked
much nicer than the typical college housing.

They walked in the front door, and headed for the living room.  Stacy sat in
a chair, and Caitlin on the sofa.

"So what do you want to do?" she said

"EAT!" Caitlin replied through her laughter.

"Good idea!" Stacy agreed.

The two girls ate their food, which satisfied their munchies quite a lot.
After dinner, Stacy looked at Caitlin and smiled.

"What?" Caitlin asked, feeling self conscious.

"You remind me a lot of myself a few years ago," said Stacy.

"Why's that?" Caitlin asked.

"You know, new smoker, first time getting high, that's all-" Stacy said.

"That wasn't the first time I got high though," defended Caitlin.

"Reeeeeally," hinted Stacy.  "Want to get higher?"

Caitlin was still very stoned, and she didn't think that she needed to get
higher, but she didn't want to let Stacy down.

"Sure," she said.

"Run to the car and get that box then," said Stacy.

Caitlin got up, and went to the car to fetch the cigar box.  She came back
in, and found Stacy sitting on the floor.  She handed the box to Stacy, who
sat it down in front of her.

She opened the top, dug through the box.  Caitlin noticed that Stacy was
being careful to not let Caitlin see what she was doing.  Caitlin wondered

After a minute or two of work, Stacy pulled out a small glass pipe.  Caitlin,
being far from an expert on marijuana, hadn't seen anything like it.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Just wait, you'll see," said Stacy.  Caitlin liked how Stacy seemed to
"take care" of her while they smoked.  It made her feel a lot more
comfortable about doing drugs, something she wasn't really comfortable with
on her own.

Stacy put the pipe to her lips, and flicked a lighter.  She moved the flame
back and forth over the tip of the pipe, and Caitlin saw the smoke crawl up
the glass tube into Stacy's mouth. 

Stacy inhaled, and held the smoke inside.  She passed the tube to Caitlin,
who accepted it.

She put the tube in her mouth, and inhaled deeply.

The smoke tasted nothing like the weed she had smoked earlier.

"This weed tastes different," she said, as she exhaled the smoke she had
just held in her lungs.

"What makes you think it's weed?" said Stacy, surprising Caitlin.

"What?  What is it then?"  asked Caitlin, not very happy that her friend
had tricked her.

"Relax-do you like it?"  asked Stacy.

Caitlin hadn't really thought about how she felt, but now that she was being
asked, she felt amazing.  Her whole body was tingling, and her head was

"Yeah," she answered.  "What is it though?"

"It's coke," said Stacy, as she took the pipe to her lips again, taking a
bigger hit.

Caitlin was stunned.  She was smoking cocaine.

"Oh my god, I'm doing cocaine?" she said, taking the pipe from Stacy.

"Yep, and you seem to be liking it!" laughed Stacy, who was lighting two

"That's not the point," said Caitlin, who was taking a huge hit from the

"Sure it is," answered Stacy, who then handed a cigarette to Caitlin.
"Relax, you're doing fine."

Caitlin smoked the cigarette.  She noticed how wonderful she felt.  She
didn't want to be a drug addict, but it just felt so good.

She figured that if she didn't do it all the time, she'd be ok.  If she
craved the drugs, she could always smoke a cigarette to satisfy the cravings.

The two girls sat and watched television, enjoying their high.

At the end of the night, it was time for Caitlin to return to her dorm.

"Want to take anything with you?" Stacy asked.

"Like what?" asked the na´ve Caitlin.  "Coke, bud, whatever," answered

"Can I get some weed?" said Caitlin.

"Absolutely, how much?"

Caitlin had no idea how much to get. 

"Got ten dollars?" asked Stacy.

Caitlin produced another ten dollar bill.

"That'll get you two joints.  That should be plenty," explained Stacy.

She rolled two rather large joints, and gave them to Caitlin, who put them in
her purse.  She laughed to herself when she realized it was the same purse
that she had put her first cigarette in the night Heather trapped her into

Stacy drove Caitlin home, and Caitlin walked up to her dorm.

Opening the door, she saw Ashley watching television.

"Have fun?" Ashley asked.

"You have no idea," said Caitlin.  She was now the one scheming.  She had
to get Ashley stoned.  She needed to figure out how.

Three weeks later, Caitlin had gone to Stacy's apartment virtually every
night.  It was pretty much the same ritual every time.  Stacy would pick her
up after her last class, and the two would return to Stacy's.

They'd walk in the door, turn on the stereo, then smoke some weed.  By this
point, Caitlin was so used to it that they'd each smoke a joint themselves.
Afterwards, they'd each smoke a cigarette.  Caitlin's cigarette habit was
more than an addiction now, but she didn't know that.  

She was smoking about 8 to 10 cigarettes per day, more on the weekends.  She
had only smoked coke that one time with Stacy, who smoked it every day they
were together.  Stacy used to offer, but due to Caitlin's constant
rejections, she stopped offering.

This afternoon, though, things would be different.

As Stacy sat in her chair, smoking from the same glass tube Caitlin had
smoked from, Caitlin spoke up.

"Can I have some of that again?" she asked.

"Sure," Stacy said, passing her the pipe.

Caitlin took a huge puff, and inhaled the smoke.  She held it in as deep as
she could, which by now was quite a long time.  Then she exhaled most of it
from her lips, and a small amount from her nose.

"God, that feels so fucking awesome!" she said after the exhale.

"You think that feels nice?" Stacy asked.

"Fuck, yeah!" Caitlin replied.

"You've gotta try it the normal way then!" Stacy said, pulling a small
mirror and razor blade out of the box.  "Alright," said Caitlin.

Stacy poured a small pile of cocaine onto the mirror, and cut two lines from
the pile.  She rolled up a dollar bill, and handed it to Caitlin.

"Go ahead," she started.

Caitlin was terrified as she took the bill and held it up to her nose.

Stacy instructed her to pinch one nostril shut, and sniff the powder back as
far as she could.

Caitlin did as she was told, and instantly felt the effects of the cocaine.
She snorted another line in the other nostril.

She loved it.  She knew, even if she was incredibly stoned, that it wasn't
something she should ever do again, because she enjoyed it way too much.

Caitlin was a little disappointed in herself for snorting the cocaine.
She'd always been against drug use, and here she was, smoking pot every day,
and now doing cocaine.  Not to mention she was beginning to think she was
addicted to nicotine.

She decided to walk home that night.  She wanted to come down a little bit
before she talked to Ashley.

She got home, and walked in the front door.

Ashley was nowhere in sight, but the bathroom door was closed.

"She must be smoking," Caitlin thought.

She knocked on the door.   Caitlin hadn't told Ashley about how often she
had been smoking cigarettes, but she decided she should probably tell her.

"Come in," Ashley said.

"Mind if I join you?" Caitlin asked.

"You're going to smoke?" Ashley asked, shocked.

"Yeah, I've decided that I want to smoke," Caitlin sheepishly admitted.

"Wow, good for you!" cheered Ashley.

"Yeah, I guess.  I love it!" said Caitlin, lighting her Newport 100.

"You smoke the strong ones, too!" Ashley teased.

"What do you mean?" said Caitlin, taking a large drag.

"Newports are about as strong as they come," replied Ashley, smoking her
own Marlboro Red.  "Mine are strong, but not as strong as yours!"

"Oh, I didn't notice," Caitlin started.  "I just like `em!"

The two girls laugh.

"So are you still getting high with Stacy?" Ashley nervously asked.  "Once
in a while," Caitlin lied.

"Oh.  Do you think it's really everyone on the squad?" asked Ashley.

"Everyone that I've met does something," answered Caitlin.

"What do you mean by `something'?" Ashley asked, puzzled.

"Well, this girl Maggie, she smokes cigarettes and weed.  Another girl,
Sabrina, she does `e'.  Stacy does weed, e, coke, and cigarettes.  Everyone
does something."

"Oh.  Do you think doing it would give me a better shot at making the
squad?"  asked Ashley.

"It's entirely up to you.  It certainly wouldn't hurt matters any, ya
know?" replied Caitlin, taking a large double puff on her cigarette.

"Do you have any?" asked Ashley.

The question almost made Caitlin choke and drop her cigarette on the floor.

"What?" she asked.

"Do you have any pot?" Ashley asked, a little more specifically.

"Yeah, why?" asked Caitlin.

"Do you want to smoke some now?"  she asked.

"I'm really just coming down from the last time I smoked, why do you ask?" 

Caitlin thought that maybe she was going to finally get Ashley stoned.

"No reason, really. I was just curious," answered Ashley.

Caitlin threw her cigarette butt in the toilet and exhaled a thick cloud of
smoke towards the light in the bathroom ceiling.

"I'll be right back," she said.

She went into the bedroom, and opened the top drawer of her dresser.  Buried
below her underwear, she pulled out a small plastic soap dish that she'd
bought specifically for this purpose.  She opened the top, and found four
good sized joints.  She took one out, and headed for the bathroom.

She opened the door, entered, and closed the door behind her.

"What are you doing?" asked Ashley.

Without saying a word, Caitlin put the joint in her mouth, flicked the
lighter, and lit it.

The smell of the marijuana filled the bathroom as Caitlin held the smoke
inside her lungs.

She pulled a towel off the towel rack, and rolled it up.  She then put it in
front of the door, blocking the air flowing beneath it.

Her next move shocked Ashley.

As she took a long drag on the joint, she reached over with her other hand
and slid the wall switch into the off position, turning off the exhaust fan.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Ashley asked.

"Just watch," Caitlin replied.

The smoke in the air was beginning to get very dense, and Ashley decided she
wanted to leave.

Caitlin stood in front of the door.

"Can I go out?  I can't breathe in here," Ashley pleaded.

"Not yet, just watch," Caitlin said.

The smoke was everywhere now.  Every time Ashley breathed in, she tasted the
pot in the back of her throat.  She hoped she wasn't smoking it.  She tried
to hold her breath, hoping Caitlin would let her out soon.

"Take a deep breath," Caitlin suggested.

"You really want me to smoke pot, don't you?" Ashley conceded.

"Yes, I really do," replied Caitlin.

"But why?" she asked.

Caitlin held out the joint to Ashley.

"Find out for yourself," she said.  "It's just like smoking a cigarette,
but so much better."

Ashley didn't have the strength to argue anymore.  She extended her
trembling hand, and took the joint.

Raising it to her lips, she took a puff as if she were smoking a cigarette.

She inhaled the sweet smoke, and passed the joint back to Caitlin, who did
the same.

"Watch yourself in the mirror," Caitlin said, exhaling a cloud and passing
the joint to Ashley.

Ashley took the joint more confidently this time, and took a large hit.  She
watched herself in the mirror.  She couldn't believe what she was seeing
She was smoking pot.

"How do you feel?" Caitlin asked.

"Good," replied Ashley, who was beginning to get stoned.

"See?  It's really no big deal!" Caitlin laughed, taking a huge double hit
on the joint.

"Yeah," said Ashley, as she found herself reaching for the joint.

Caitlin found herself quite proud of the fact that she'd finally gotten
Ashley high.

"Do you like it?" Caitlin asked, hoping she wasn't pushing the issue too

"Yeah, I think I do," replied Ashley.

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