The Circle | |
Index by date |
Index by author |
Index by subject Smoking From All Sides ( Glamor - Pics | Female Celebrity Smoking List ) [ Printer friendly version ] | |
|
The Circle Lori rolled down her car window slowly. It was beastly hot out on the highway, and as always on Friday, the road was packed with out-of-staters heading for the Cape or other shore points to the east. The joy that it was Friday was almost entirely counteracted by the traffic. The cell phone beeped for her attention and she picked it up, glad for the distraction. "Lori, it's Maureen." As if anyone but her sister- and roommate- ever called her on the cell phone. "What's up ?" "I was wondering-" she hesitated, and Lori knew what was coming. "Since you're already out, would you mind stopping on the way home and picking me up a carton of cigarettes ?" "I thought that after two months, you'd finally quit for good. Did Jake call and blow you off for tonight ?" "He called to blow me off, but not for tonight. For good. He said that- look, I don't want to talk about this now. You don't have to stop if you don't want-" "No, I'll stop. Fortunately, I have your ID with me." "Do they still card you ?" "More than they don't." "I'll pay you back as soon as you get home." Lori walked into the store and relished the air conditioning. The place was packed, which meant that she would have to stand in line for ten minutes holding a carton of cigarettes. Not that she really cared what other people thought- Come to think of it, she did care, but what could she do ? Maureen would certainly be more agreeable once she'd lit up- the last two months had been nothing short of uncomfortable, after all. At least she wouldn't have to put up with Jake anymore. As she pulled the carton of Marlboro Lights 100 from the display case a loud chime sounded, alerting everyone in the store that she'd taken them. One woman pushing a cart looked at her coldly, as if to say 'How can you do that ?' Lori would have liked to ask the woman how it was that she could bring herself to push her five or six year old boy around in the cart rather than making him walk, but she passed. Instead she headed for the express lane and got a spot behind a graying octogenarian with about twenty items in his cart. He began loading the belt, oblivious to the brightly lit 'Ten Items or less' sign over his head. God, the heat is getting to me. She turned to look at what was going on behind her to get her mind off the old man, and found herself staring directly into the face of Ms. Thorton, her health teacher last year. The face brought back memories of high school, which Lori was glad to be leaving behind. The thought of starting college in the fall, of not having to answer to period bells, was enough to make up for seeing Ms. Thorton, at least until she opened her mouth. It was no understatement to classify the woman as disagreeable. "So I see that you're smoking now, just like your sister." The tone dripped disapproval. "Actually, these are for my sister." "Then your sister should have come and bought them." She raised her voice slightly. "You're not even eighteen yet." Lori turned her head to look at the cashier, who looked up at the same time, curious. It was Jean Margolis, not exactly a friend, but- "Is it any business of yours ?" Lori asked curtly. That was the wrong tack to take. Without another word, Ms. Thorton exited the line and made a path to the service desk, an angry look on her face, her stride purposeful. Lori swallowed hard. She considered putting the cigarettes back and going somewhere else to buy them. But amasingly, Jean had already rung the old man out. Lori was expecting that he would need ten minutes to extract exact change from his little change purse, but he paid with two crisp twenties and vacated his spot so quickly that Thorton was still stuck behind a woman buying what looked like a year's worth of lottery tickets as Lori handed the carton over. Just as Jean scanned the cigarettes, the woman got the assistant manager's attention. Lori's heart jumped into her throat. She handed over her sister's old license and Jean scanned the bar code. "Hmmm. Says you're twenty-one," Jean said with a smile and a wink. "You scan the licenses ?" "That's the new thing. They don't trust us anymore. Someone with a birthdate of January 1st, 1911 was buying two hundred cartons of cigarettes a day- and sixty cases of beer. It'll be 22.38. Better hurry." The assistant manager was working her way out of the service desk, but she had to reach over the half door to undo the lock. Lori passed Jean a twenty and a five and grabbed the carton hastily. Jean handed her two ones and some change and she made for the door. As she walked hastily through the parking lot, she saw a security guard coming out the doors. She broke into a run just as the man yelled "Excuse me, miss-" She piled into the Saab 900s, locked the doors, and gunned the engine, almost reversing her way into the old man's Reliant K-car. Missing him by inches, she roared out of the parking lot. At the stop light she look at the carton in the passenger seat. That was the last time she went there to buy cigarettes. "I don't usually buy cigarettes," she reminded herself. The light was a long one, so slow to change that she half expected to see the security guard roll up next to her car in his golf cart and go anal on her about a carton of Marlboro Lights 100s. She went so far as to check the rear view mirror, but there was no sign of pursuit. Ms. Thorton's reaction to the cigarettes and her subsequent escape was making Lori feel belligerent. What was the big deal anyway ? So what if they had been her cigarettes. She'd be eighteen in nine months. She didn't see anything wrong with a girl her age smoking. Of course, she also had no idea what it was Maureen saw in her habit. Until recently she'd been smoking close to a pack a day- twice what she was smoking when she took her slightly off-campus apartment as a freshman three years ago. They'd been sharing that same apartment for the last year, when their parents had moved to Denver and decided Lori would be better off staying with her sister and finishing high school. Ever since Lori had moved in, Maureen had tried to get her to start. With no success. Every so often, Lori came close to giving in, but the impulse was never as strong as it was right now. When she saw Ms. Thorton pull up behind her in her dented up Camry with the 'Jesus was Right' bumper sticker, Lori decided that she was going to do it. She pushed in the car's cigarette lighter, started to tear the end flap off the carton- As the light turned green and she pulled away, reason reasserted itself. "What was I going to do ?" she asked aloud. As she drove the road, she answered herself. "You were going to smoke." Pulling into the driveway, Lori was struck by a bit of melancholy. Today had been the last day of her internship working as a editorial assistant. While she hadn't exactly made any close friends, she had enjoyed the job. It was ironic, in a way. There'd only been one hard and fast rule at PrePub. No smoking. No smoke breaks, no smoking at lunch. If you wanted to smoke- like Girard, her mentor for the last six weeks, you had to leave not only the building, but the parking lot. The time had coincided with most of the two months Maureen had gone without a cigarette. Now, on the same day the job ended, Maureen was going to start smoking again. She walked into the house carrying the partially opened carton of cigarettes. Her sister was lounged on the couch, wearing revealing tight jean shorts and a black halter top. That she'd been crying made her all the more stunning. Her sandy-blonde hair was in total disorder- as usual, it rung her face in a way which all her effort with comb and blow dryer never quite matched. In short, Jake was some sort of maniac for walking away from her. Of that there could be no question. Lori handed over the carton and her sister studied the torn flap with interest. "What happened ?" "I ran into Ms. Thorton at the Stop 'n Save-" "So ?" Lori told the story from beginning to almost the very end, omitting only how close she'd come to lighting one of the cigarettes out of pure spite. "And that's how the carton got half opened ?" Maureen asked teasingly. "While I was running away from the rent-a-cop, I almost dropped the carton. It slipped in my hand and I just caught it by the end." "I thought maybe you had half a mind to try one or something." Lori laughed. "Of course not." She wondered why her sister hadn't finished opening the carton, why she hadn't lit a cigarette yet. She was just sitting there, smiling. "Ex-smokers make the worst antis. It figures that Thorton gave you grief." "Ms. Thorton used to smoke ? She's like the poster child for the anti-smoking faction at school. She tried to get the student smoking lounge shut down. It didn't go this year, but I'm sure it will the next time. Most of my friends hated her." "She quit my freshman year," Maureen said, finally tearing the end off the box. Instead of taking out one of the packs of cigarettes, she put the carton down and studied the flap as though there was a fortune hidden on it. "I remember she had to take off a week of school in January. She was a mess. I think she quit drinking coffee around the same time- it was some religious thing, at least with the smoking. She had a few relapses along the way, but by March, she was already preaching the gospel." "Were you smoking then ?" Lori asked. "I was 14 that October, so, yeah, by November I was smoking- if you could call it that. Just one or two cigarettes a day, Virginia Slims that I'd stolen from Mom. It wasn't until she caught me that I started smoking for real. That was about three months later." There was a short silence, during which Lori expected- for some strange reason, wanted- Maureen to light a cigarette. But she made no move to even open a pack. She just sat there, worrying the flap, looking surprisingly calm. "How did Thorton know you weren't eighteen ?" "Everybody in the whole damn school knows I skipped a grade. Remember how David said in his valedictory speech that I would have been in his shoes if I'd waited a year-" "That's right. David is an asshole, just like his brother." There it was, mistake number one. Lori had a feeling there'd be plenty of those tonight, things she'd inadvertently say things which would remind her sister of her ex-boyfriend- like mentioning his brother David. "After all I went through to get those, why aren't you smoking yet ?" Lori finally asked. "Because for two months I quit. I never plan to do that again. In a few minutes, maybe, I'm going to light a cigarette and be a smoker for the rest of my life. I want to savour that first cigarette, make it special. I don't suppose you'd like to join me- we could do it together." There was a very appealing sound to the question. Instead of giving her a direct answer, Lori thought for a moment. "You never told me about your first cigarette. What was so special about that one ?" "Is that not a no ?" "That's not anything. As soon as you tell me your story, I'm going to go for a long run-" "Can I come with you ?" "I thought you were going to the gym today-" "I was. Jake called about twenty minutes before I was going to leave and I spent the rest of the afternoon moping." "I wish you'd moped your way out to the store-" "Look, I'm sorry about that." She paused, pulled one of the packs out of the carton, and studied it. "Okay- my start smoking story- do you remember Bill Leer ?" Lori sat down next to her sister and gave her a brief, impulsive hug. She still had the clean smells of shampoo and faint musk. But even when she was smoking, she smelled nice. "What was that for ?" Maureen asked. "I was trying to be comforting. Yes, I remember Bill. You were dating him when you started, right ?" "Exactly. He came home with me after school one day. We were pretending that we were going to study together. And mom was doing that thing she always does when you have people over-" "The one where she spies on you. She finds like about one hundred excusing to wander into the living room-" "Yeah. And Bill and I are doing about as good a job of pretending to study. But after the fourth trip into the living room I notice that Bill is like seriously checking Mom out. I mean, it was embarrassing. I'm sitting on the couch with my boyfriend and he can't take his eyes off mom. So finally she goes into the kitchen to stand around until she can come up with another lame excuse and I turn to Bill to give him shit-" She stopped. "Are you sure you want to hear this ?" "Let's put it this way. If you don't want to tell me, we can go take our run. I mean, how embarrassing could it be. Did he have a woody for mom or something ?" "A woody ?" Lori pushed her older sister playfully. Maureen pushed back, and for a moment the two girls settled for mock wrestling with one another. Maureen, always the stronger, got the upper hand quickly and soon she had her younger sibling's arms pinned to the couch. She leaned so close to Lori that their breasts met. The tips of their noses were almost touching, but both of them were enjoying themselves. "It wasn't a woody. It was a flaming hard-on. He's wearing these tight shorts so it can't get up, but there's this ridiculous bulge. At least he was a man about it. He just looked at me with those dopey brown eyes of his and said "'I love watching your mom smoke. She's so cool.'" Maureen let up on Lori and sat back, noticing something odd. "Your nipples are hard." Lori looked down at herself and shrugged her shoulders. "You've got the damn air conditioning on so high- your nipples are hard too." There was a time when the two women would have taken the opportunity to tease one another by stroking those hard nipples until someone begged for mercy. Those days were long gone. They both thought about it, and they both thought better of it. "So, I'll bet you said to Bill, 'Well, I smoke, too,' even though you didn't." Looking down at the curve of her shirt, Maureen saw that her nipples were indeed hard. She let her left hand stray upwards and casually stroke the sensitive area, once, then twice, and finally a third time, just enough to create a level of arousal which was useless right now. Besides, what she really needed was a cigarette. "Exactly. Well, he didn't believe me, so I told him to meet me behind school the next day after we got out. I figured we'd walk through the woods and I'd smoke for him. I mean, I know it sounds awful, but I couldn't stand that he was more interested in mom than me. I was so jealous and angry." "Where'd you get the cigarettes ?" Maureen laughed. "I thought that was going to be the hardest part. I set my alarm for 2 a.m.. I was so nervous. I knew what I wanted to do. Get one pack from mom's carton in the kitchen. I was terrified that she would have just opened the carton. But it was half-empty. No one woke up, no one knew anything. Mom never did miss that pack or the book of matches." "And that's when you had your first cigarette ?" "No. But I opened the pack and practised. I could tell just from pulling air through the unlit filter that smoking was something I was going to enjoy. I had to try six matches before I got one to light but I figured an half-empty matchbook would lead him to think I'd been doing this for a while." "How come you never told me this story ?" "You'll find out in a minute, curious one." "We walked away from the school into the woods and I decided that it's finally time to light up. I've had all day to think about it and well, I stopped thinking about or caring about Bill. I wanted to smoke. It wasn't about him or mom or anybody but me. I wanted that cigarette like I never wanted anything in my life." For no real reason, Lori reached down and picked up the pack of cigarettes. Just to study it, of course. The lines of the pack were so sleek. She wondered. To Maureen, this was just another pack of cigarettes, no matter what she said about starting again being special. To Lori, they represented the portal to a new adventure. Or something like that. "Billy- as you put it- popped a woody- as soon as he saw the cigarette in my mouth. I wasn't nervous by then- just anxious to get started. I got the first match to take and lit the cigarette without any problem. I took three very shallow inhales just to get my feet wet, then I really let go." "Billy must have been out of his mind-" A slow smile spread across Maureen's face. "Oh, he was. He muttered something about wanting to kiss me, about tasting the smoke in my mouth. So I exhaled- no cough- all those years of living with mom and dad paid off- and we kissed." "With him pressing that up against you-" "Precisely. But I liked it. I took a few more deep inhales, we kissed, and just when both of us thought he was going to explode I unzipped his pants and finished the job for him with my hand." Lori tried to keep the look of distaste off her face but failed. "You were right. I didn't want to know this." "But the whole point is that I loved every minute of it- including what it did to Bill. I was happy to help him along. That day anyway. It was a first for both of us." "That's not what you want to share with me, is it ?" Lori asked teasingly. "No. But I'm not having my next cigarette without you." The run was over. As always when they ran together, Lori was amased by what good shape her sister was in. Seven years of smoking had done absolutely nothing to her cardiovascular system. The two women were sitting on the porch, sweating up a storm and waiting to get to a point where their showers would take when their next door neighbour spotted them. Karen strolled up the walk casually, puffing occasionally on her Benson and Hedges 100. Her exhales were long, slow, much the way that Maureen remembered her own. "Hello, girls. How's the rental treating you ?" "Well, the air conditioning still works, so we're pretty happy," Maureen said. "How's the garden this year ?" "It's been real rough. It's been so dry and hot-" Just then Karen's oldest daughter Melissa came out of the house, wearing plaid boxers and a loose fitting sweatshirt which looked entirely too warm. She casually smoked a VS 120 as she walked across the lawn barefoot. Her mother looked at her, the disappointment obvious on her face. "Missy, how many times have I told you not to walk around outside without shoes on-" "Mom," Melissa pleaded. "I'm sixteen. Please don't call me Missy." "Shoes-" Melissa turned to look at Maureen and Lori, smiling as she performed a short but powerful nose exhale. "One time I get stung on the foot by a bee-" "We were in the hospital for six hours- and you should have seen the bill. They charge by the minute." They were an interesting picture, mother and daughter, smoking two completely different sorts of cigarettes. Melissa was already several inches taller than her mother and the long thin cigarette matched the look well, as did Mrs. Appleton's Benson and Hedges. But they both smoked the same way. Long inhales, rapid exhales, and plenty of them. It was enough to make Maureen want to rush inside. "Any vacation plans for the summer ?" Karen asked. "We'll head up to the family cabin some weekend, and we're supposed to spend a few days in Denver in August," Lori said. "How about you ?" "We're going to Corpus Christi," Melissa answered. She took one last long pull on the cigarette, and seeing it was spent, she walked out to the end of the driveway and dropped it in the gutter. She lazily strolled back up the driveway and only then did she finally exhale. "What's in Corpus Christi ?" Maureen asked. Mrs. Appleton smiled. "Well, Dave's mom, dad, and sister. But that's only part of why we're going. There's a convention for families who smoke, and we thought we'd check it out. There's supposed to be something for everyone- if you're a smoker, that is. One of the most exciting things- as far as I'm concerned- is that they'll be teaching newbies how to smoke. Michelle's been dragging her feet-" "She is only thirteen," Lori said, trying to sound as neutral as possible. "Exactly. With all the anti-smoking campaigning going on, well, in ten years tobacco could be a prescription only drug. We want to make sure that Michelle gets a chance to know what it's really like to be a smoker in a normal environment. As it is, I got a letter in the mail today from the school saying that the smoking lounge was going to be shut down unless a rider to the school budget is voted down. It's part of Ms. Thorton's 'Zero-Tolerance' program. I can't believe she and I go to the same church." "Don't start on Ms. Thorton, please," Lori said. Both of the Appleton women had now finished their cigarettes. Before Ms. Thorton could ask what her neighbour meant by that last comment, she pulled a pack of Benson and Hedges from the pocket of her sun dress and lit one. At the same time, Melissa pulled her cigarettes from her front pocket and lit up. Only when both of them were filling the hazy late afternoon air with smoke did Karen respond. "What do you mean ?" "I was buying a carton of cigarettes at the Stop 'n Save-" "I didn't know you smoked," Michelle said. She was letting her cigarette dangle from between her lips now, pulling on it intermittently to draw the smoke into her waiting lungs. She exhaled through her nose in a tight series of measured bursts. "They're for me," Maureen chimed in. "Let me guess," Karen said. "Thorton got into line behind you. When she realised that you weren't eighteen, she went straight for security." "Were you there ?" Lori asked. "No. The same thing happened to Melissa about two weeks ago. I thought you quit, Maureen ?" "I gave up on quitting, Mrs. Appleton." "I knew you would come back to it. I can remember when you were fifteen and Melissa was oh, ten. It's so funny. You were living over on Greece Street and here you're my babysitter and now you live next to me. Where was I-" She paused and though for a moment. "The first time I told you that it was okay to smoke while you babysat the girls, the look on your face was like pure joy. I knew then that you were the real thing- not a poser. Not someone who holds the cigarette in their hand to look cool once in a while. You were a real smoker then, and you're a real smoker now." "Thanks for the encouragement," Maureen said, watching Melissa pull hard on her cigarette. Maybe it was time to suggest she switch to a fuller brand. While the long, slim cigarettes complimented her height, they didn't seem to be satisfying her smoking needs. Unlike the Bensons and Hedges, which were obvious enough for the very contented Ms. Appleton. "So why aren't you smoking ?" Karen asked. "I promised myself not to start again until Lori starts, too. When you talk about people being overdue to start, she must at the very top of the list." "So this is the big day ?" Karen asked Lori, to which she said "I don't know yet. Despite all my sister's prodding, I have no real desire to start." "That's too bad. You don't know what you're missing." "Maybe I'll find out, Mrs. Appleton." Both women had showered, and now the discussion had turned to the idea of doing what people were supposed to do on Friday nights- go out. Maureen was in favour of the idea- which had been a surprise. Going out meant going to the Rusty Hammer- the only place in town they could be sure that Lori would get into using Maureen's license. And the Hammer was one of Jake's favourite places. Lori couldn't begin to decide what to wear. There was a closet full of clothes to chose from, but nothing seemed right. It was still beastly hot out, and they'd walk to the Hammer- so they could get hammered, as Maureen would say. That was an half-hour walk in the heat followed by a few hours in the bone chilling Hammer. In the summer they set the air conditioning to about 55. Your sweat would flash-freeze to skin if you were underdressed. She walked into Maureen's room wearing just her favourite bra and panties, and saw that Maureen was having similar problems. They made quite a sight in her full length mirror, two young women wearing nothing but dark grey underwear. "Can't decide what to wear ?" Maureen asked. "No. I think I have too many clothes. It's just so damn hot out and so cold in the Hammer." "I'm going to take a sweatshirt, I think. So, have you decided that it's finally time to let me start smoking ?" "Go ahead," Lori said. She walked over to Maureen's night table, noticing her sister had replaced the recently absent ashtray. In it was the open pack of cigarettes and a pair of lighters. She picked them up and walked over to her sister. Just then the air conditioning came on again, and the overhead vent began blasting refrigerated air. Although Maureen took the cigarettes eagerly, she made no move to light one. "You don't think I'm serious, do you ?" "Serious about what ?" Lori asked, as if she could pretend she had no idea. "About not smoking again until you do." "I know you're serious. But I don't think you can wait that long-" "I will-" "Maybe you should call Bill Leer. He pitched in the first time-" Maureen's face turned from jovial to serious. She put her hand on her sister's shoulder, then ran it through the long strawberry blonde strands. "I really want you to share this with me. Is that too much to ask your own sister ?" Lori saw that her hair was now in complete disarray. "Do you have a scrunchy I can borrow ?" "Sure. On the dresser." For a moment neither woman said anything. Lori walked over to her sister's dresser, feeling as if there was a great weight on her shoulders. Too much pressure. She picked a black one and as she pulled her hair back she saw the picture Maureen kept on the mirror. Lori'd taken the picture on her seventeenth birthday. They were out in the backyard on Greece Street, sitting by the pool in their bathing suits. Just as Lori had gone to snap the picture the three of them had brought their cigarettes to their mouths as one. They looked so happy. It wasn't that much to ask. Lori felt goose bumps run down the length of her body. It was part cold and part excitement. "Okay." "Okay what ?" Maureen asked excitedly. Lori walked over to her sister and reached out for the pack of cigarettes. "Okay I'll try one. One. And if I don't like it-" "We'll talk about that." Lori extended her hand but Maureen shook her head. "No. I'm going to give you your own pack." She walked over to the bed where she'd dropped the carton and took out a second pack, grabbed the other lighter, and handed them to her sister. Lori noticed that her sister had the same goose bumps. The pack was so smooth with the cellophane encasing it. Her fingers were moist with sweat but she managed to tear the wrapping off. After she dropped it in the trash she cracked back the flip top and very carefully unfolded the foil. Her sister followed suit, and soon the two of them were standing together, ready. "Wait," Maureen said. "I want a picture." She grabbed her camera and they put the unlit cigarettes in their mouths. Maureen best-guessed the angle the camera should be held at and snapped off a shot. "What do I do now ?" Lori said, her voice muffled by the cigarette. "Pose-" Maureen snapped off three more shots and tossed the camera on the bed. "First, you light the cigarette. It works best if you hold it in your mouth with one hand and thumb the lighter with the other. That way if you get nervous you don't drop your just-lit cigarette on my nice hardwood floor." "Then what ?" "Don't inhale. Just pull the smoke into your mouth. Get used to the taste and the feel of the smoke. I think you'll find it's nothing like what you expected. I'd take at least three baby inhales like that- just into your mouth. Get used to moving the smoke around. Then you can inhale- and when you do, remember that you're not swallowing the smoke, you're just breathing it in." The moment had finally come, and once again Lori had the impression that she was starting on some great adventure. They lit their cigarettes at precisely the same moment. Maureen felt the smoke slide down into her lungs and the feeling of peace and contentment was absolute. Lori pulled a small amount of smoke into her lungs and rolled it around her mouth. The taste was much different than the smell, sweeter, fuller, more pleasing, almost cool. She exhaled the smoke and was not surprised at the tingle of excitement she felt seeing smoke emerge from her mouth in a short, tight stream. "Very good," Maureen said, executing a long nose exhale which filled the room with smoke. Lori looked at that smoke rushing from her half-naked sister's nostrils and thought that Jake must be thoroughly insane. How could he not enjoy watching that ? Lori herself was- it was embarrassing, but she was almost turned on by it herself. She took two more baby inhales as instructed. Then it was time to try and inhale. Maureen watched with great curiosity, although she did not ignore her rapidly shrinking cigarette. She was clouding the room with her own smoke, thinking about how long overdue this was and how stupid she'd been trying to please Jake. If he wasn't turned on watching her smoke there was definitely something seriously wrong with him. Try as she might, however, Lori couldn't pull the smoke into her lungs. Maureen watched her try three times and finally laughed. Lori shot her an evil look, but there was also a tingle of pleading in it. Maureen stubbed out her cigarette and lit another one. She pulled it from her mouth dramatically after a stunningly deep inhale and shot smoke in the general direction of her sister. "I know what to do. I'll inhale, and then blow the smoke into your mouth." "You're not kissing me-" Lori insisted, wondering how her cigarette could be only half-gone while Maureen had moved onto a second. "It'll get you used to it-" "No kissing." "Okay. Come here." Lori walked over to her sister hesitantly. "I'm going to inhale. After I do, put your mouth over my nose. I'll do a nose exhale and you can breath it in-" "No snot-" Lori said menacingly. "I want you to smoke, Lori. I'm not going to screw around here." Lori nodded. Maureen inhaled, another monstrous pull. She then held the smoke and Lori, who was trying not to giggle, put her mouth over her sister's nose. Maureen breathed out, a long, patient nose exhale which Lori absorbed easily. "Oh my god," she said, understanding. "That's why you smoke !" Then they hugged one another and dissolved into twin fits of laughter. They fell onto the bed together, still intertwined, and smoked while wrapped in one another's arms. Maureen noticed both that her sister's nipples were once again hard as rocks and that each inhale was deeper and more satisfying for Lori. When she finished the cigarette, Lori looked and Maureen. "Let's go. The way I feel right now-" "I know. It's too bad I'm not Ricky Lake, huh ?" "Ugh," Lori said, grimacing. "You know he loves you- since third grade. And right now-" "Yes. Right now I would." They couldn't stop laughing at that. Lori reached across the table for her pack of cigarettes- My pack of cigarettes, she marveled. That had such a great sound to it. She was pleasantly drunk. They both were. The biggest hurdle of the evening was long over. They'd run into Jake after about fifteen minutes. He'd seen that Maureen was smoking again and left in a huff. As it happened, Lori could see in her sister's eyes that she was already over him. Which was nice. Maureen had always been the crying champion of the Hamilton family, but she'd seemed to be outgrowing it. In fact, she was so happy that her little sister had finally started smoking that she seemed giddy. Maureen poured beer into their glasses, emptying the pitcher, and signalled for another. Just then, Jean wandered over. "Got your sister's ID still, huh ?" Lori lit a cigarette and smiled. "Yeah. You too ?" "No. My cousin Rachel's. She gave it to me a few months ago when I went to visit her in Rochester. Could I-" "Sure," Lori said, passing the cigarettes and lighter over. Jean set her glass down, lit one and inhaled with the sort of practised ease that Lori hoped to develop, then handed them back. She noticed that like Maureen, Jean had a really cool way of holding the cigarette down by her waist, wrist cocked. Very feminine. "I didn't get you in trouble today, did I ?" Jean smiled and took a sip of her own beer. "No. My manager checked the scan log and it was clean. But it did bogus me. Usually she puts aside a pack of Marlboro 100s for me at the end of the day and slips them in my apron when I'm cashing out, but not with all the commotion. It's no big deal. I just have to get my mom to buy me a pack. Which means I get the 'How are much are you smoking these days ?' line of questioning, as if she cares. All she said when she found out I had started was 'You're going to have to pay for your own.' My birthday's next week and she'll give me a carton if I'm nice to her. But I thought these were for your sister ?" "They were," Maureen said. "But she finally saw the light. Even if she was scared half to death." "What a disaster," Jean said. "I thought Thorton was going to call 911." "Thorton thinks she is 911," Lori said. "I was so mad. And she ended up behind me at the stoplight in that old beater of hers. I almost lit up right there-" Maureen gently kicked her sister under the table. "You lied to me- I knew you were thinking about it-" Jean caught the eye of one of her friends, who was headed for the door. "Gotta run. Thanks for the cigarette." "Any time," Lori said. When Jean was gone, she looked at her sister, and although her voice was getting slightly slurred, she managed to say "I'm glad I waited and we did it together," without sounding like a total sap. "You want to go up to the cabin tomorrow ?" Maureen asked. "It's a long car ride. I can teach you how to hold a cigarette when you're driving and catch a light with the windows down-" "Sure. Tell me about the nose exhale again-" The two sisters were doing something they hadn't done in five years at least. They were lying on Lori's bed, wearing only their smoky sweatshirts. Lori's head was on Maureen's stomach, just below her breasts. They were smoking and talking about boys and their parents and the trip up to the cabin- probably a four hour drive at least, when Lori finally asked the question that had been bugging her all night. She still had a good buzz from the beer, but she was a little worried that when she asked her question her sister would think she was crazed. "Mo- Can I ask a serious question-" Surprisingly, her sister's response was a smoky laugh. her voice was at first muffled by that smoke, which Lori now found intoxicating. "Yeah, I was horny as hell the first day I smoked the way you're smoking now." Lori slapped the bed with her free hand. "Mo-" "I could see the look in your eyes the whole night. I did what you're doing once. Hell, I'm doing tonight. I feel the same way. I mean, I could just-" "You don't do that, do you ?" she asked. "No. It's funny. I think most people who say they don't do, but no. Well, very rarely. Maybe a few times a years." "I never-" "You never smoked before, either. I don't know, sis, Ms. Thorton would say you'll go blind." "Is that your subtle way of encouraging me ?" There was a long silence. "God, I feel like I'm going to explode," Maureen said. "Now I know how Billy felt." "I won't tell anyone if you don't-" They laughed, and then giggled, and then- "Let's stop in and say Hi to Mr. Barstow. It looks like her got a new car. Or a new used car. He never struck me as the convertible type, though." They parked at the end of the driveway, lit cigarettes, and walked up to the front door of the cabin. There was the sound of a young woman's giggles coming through the open window. The two girls looked at one another suspiciously. If there was something less likely than the septuagenarian taking to a convertible it was his taking to a young woman. But Maureen knocked anyway. The man who answered the door was most definitely not Mr. Barstow. He was younger, shorter, and puffing on a long cigar. Barstow was a pipe smoker, if you could call what he did smoking. It was mostly dry sucking. "Can I help you ?" the man asked in strong British accent. "Mr. Jameson ?" "Lori, wasn't it ?" "Still is." Maureen was perplexed. "You know each other ?" "Remember that seminar I took last summer ? Pre-Colonial British History ? Mr. Jameson was a guest lecturer." The woman who belonged to the giggle appeared at the front door. She was also smoking a Marlboro Light 100, just lit. She had an ageless quality about her, as though she could be anywhere between seventeen and twenty-seven. She exhaled graciously and smiled, her perfect white teeth a nice match to her pale skin. Her long blonde hair caught in the afternoon breeze and danced about her long graceful neck. Lori decided she was stunning. "Mr. Jameson, this is my older sister-" "Why do you always add that ?" Maureen joked. "-Maureen." "And this is Alicia MacCardell." Everyone said hello to everyone else and then a silence ensued. But it was not awkward as it should have been. Lori knew why. They were all smokers, and that one uniqueness about all of them made them part of a community. "So you stopped by to see Mr. Barstow, I presume. He's in Europe for the summer-" "That's sounds great," Maureen said. "We were on the way to our cabin and thought we'd stop by." "There's another cabin back here ?" Nathaniel asked curiously. "You'd never know it, because it looks like the road just ends a mile up- or like it ends a few hundred yards up, depending on how persistent you are. In fact, we haven't been up here all summer, so we'll probably have to drive up and down the road to find the entrance." "Well, why don't you stay a while. We're going to have tea, and I always make extra, just in case." "Sounds great," Lori said. They were sitting around the dining room table- Lori had always thought it odd that a cabin had a dining room, but Barstow was a very proper sort of man. "So, what brings you up north ?" Nathaniel asked. He clipped the end off his cigar and Alicia lit it for him. It caught quickly and as Maureen answered he handed it to Alicia, who took a ladylike puff and handed it back. "My sister started smoking- finally, at seventeen- so we thought we'd celebrate." "Really ?" Alicia said, her voice bright and inviting. "Seventeen is kind of late to start, isn't it ?" "Well, Maureen's been trying to get me to take it up for a year now, and I might not have started yesterday if it wasn't for my old health teacher-" With some gentle encouragement from Alicia, Lori told the story about Ms. Thorton, and then how her sister had finally gotten her to come over. She found herself enjoying talking about it and Alicia and Nathaniel seemed genuinely interested. She skipped the part about her sister's nose exhale and how the night had ended, but it was still a good story. By the time they'd finished talking, it was close to five-thirty and Maureen was starting to worry about the groceries going over. "We brought some salmon up- more than the two of us could ever eat. I was going to grill it. Are you guys up for that ?" Alicia and Nathaniel decided they were, and the two girls left immediately to start preparations. Once they were gone, Nathaniel grabbed Alicia around the waist from behind and hugged her tightly. "Why did you encourage that girl to tell us about how she started smoking ?" Alicia inhaled deeply on her cigarette, turned around in his arms, and breathed her sweet smoke on her lover. "Because I know it turns you on to hear about young women starting to smoke. And if it turns you on, it turns me on. I really want you to understand that." Her voice was so sultry, her eyes so bright. Nathaniel realised suddenly just how happy he was. He pulled on his cigar, held the smoke, and breathed it into her mouth as he kissed her. They traded it back and forth until it had faded and then they broke the kiss. "Let's test that theory in the bedroom-" he said, but she pulled him to his knees and they ended up doing their research on the dining room floor. "So what do you do ?" Lori asked Alicia. The meal was just ending and they'd gotten past the weather talk and the drive up talk and were just starting to really get to know one another. "The student thing," Alicia said off-handedly. If Nathaniel was relieved when Maureen said "Me, too. I'm a year away from my BA-" no one noticed. "What will you do then ?" Nathaniel asked. He was clipping the ends from two cigars, and he handed one to Alicia. Seeing that the two women were mildly curious she said "I always have one after dinner- especially one like this. I'm so stuffed. Everything was great." "Maybe I should go into the restaurant business," Maureen joked. "Actually, my BA is in English Lit. So that means I'll be looking for a grad school programme." "I might be able to help you there," Nathaniel said, his english accent having taken on a decidedly cheery lilt due to the wine he'd brought. "I have contacts throughout most of the schools in the Northeast." "Then we should talk. I have no idea where I want to go." Lori looked at her watch and smiled. She'd been smoking for just twenty-fours now, and as she lit a cigarette she was struck by how natural it felt. She'd decided on the car ride up that she wasn't going to regret that she'd wasted the last year resisting her sister's gentle urging to start. Instead she was going enjoy what she'd discovered. She'd made a pact with Maureen that neither of them would ever quit. It had been one of those silly little things, but it felt right. "It's such a stunning night," Alicia said, drawing on the long cigar in a surprisingly feminine way as she moved her chair tightly up against Nathaniel's. They clasped hands and all four of them turned their heads to the sky. The stars were something you could actually see up here, the banding of the Milky Way and the moon low on the horizon. Lori inhaled slowly, fully. She spoke as she exhaled, liking the way it muted her voice. "It wouldn't be the same if I wasn't smoking, you know. Everything seems different now. The colours are brighter-" "You're happy," Alicia said. "I don't think I was ever happy until the first time I smoked, and-" She squeezed Nathaniel's hand tightly, finishing the thought without speaking it. "You're right. But I had no idea. It's like someone opened this door for me that I'd kept closed for no reason. It's nice to talk about it." Someone looking down on the four of them would have seen four orange flares at that moment, two large, two small. Smoke drifted up lazily from the table as the fog rolled in. The night air was chilly and damp, but Lori found that was a perfect complement to the cigarette smoke. "How long are you up here for ?" Nathaniel asked. "A week ? You ?" "The same. We just got in a few hours before you, actually. I insisted on an early start so that we wouldn't miss tea." Somehow that didn't sound nearly as hokey as it should have. "What's the night life down in the town like this year ?" Maureen asked curiously. "It seems different every season." "Well, I don't have a baseline to make comparisons," Nathaniel said, exhaling a large cloud of dark smoke which filled the air with a smell Lori decided she liked very much. "But it seems like they are having a rather successful tourist season. They even have the sort of upscale yuppie bar people like myself prefer." "Sounds like it's worth checking out-" Maureen said. "I'd love to, but I have a deadline to meet on a paper for a journal." He looked at Alicia and smiled. "Perhaps-" "I'd love to. Do you have ID, Lori ?" "Says I'm twenty-one. Of course, it also says I'm my sister-" "You don't mind, Nathaniel ?" Alicia asked as the three of them stood up. "No. Really, I have to work. Maybe tomorrow." They said their goodbyes and Nathaniel sat back with pleasure as he watched the three of them walk of the patio and into the cabin, trailing smoke behind them. Although he was mildly nervous about his situation with Alicia, he had a feeling this was going to be a very pleasant week. "Thorton. T-h-o-r-t-o-n." The clerk, an older high school girl with a mouth full of braces, smiled depreciatingly at the teacher and then- Thorton's blood almost- almost- boiled. Right there in front of her, she paused in the middle of looking up her reservation and lit a cigarette. Leaning over the desk, she saw that they were Parliaments. The long ones, same as she used to smoke. The last from the pack. She leaned too close, in fact, and got a good noseful of smoke which- After a brief bit of mental legerdemain she convinced herself the smell of that smoke was sickening. The girl inhaled again as she turned the page and Thorton felt her control slipping. The question was which way it would go. No one understood her anger, no one understood why she was so set on eradicating smoking from the high school. For starters. No. There was no one who could understand the double-edged sword cutting into her right now. "A-18," the girl said, looking up and smiling. She was a little pissed at this woman for not thinking she knew how to spell, but she'd probably had a long drive up here and she looked like she could use a beer and a smoke right about now. She pulled the key from the cabinet and handed it over. "I see we have your credit card info. You can pay by cash or check, too. I'll walk you over." Thorton tried to relax. The girl with the braces and the cigarette was trying to be nice to her. How could she understand ? "Thanks-" "It's Veronica. I'm here most of the time. If you need anything, just ask." They walked out the door, Veronica in the lead. She trailed a sweet haze of smoke behind her which Thorton found maddening. The hand with the cigarette made graceful arcs to her mouth, stayed for a set interval- she was a very steady smoker- and then went back to her side. The smoke trailed from it, caught in the arc-sodium lights. It danced and writhed and called to Thorton in a way she couldn't resist. "I'm sorry you can't park by your room, but you're in the back." She turned to smile at Thorton and the light caught her braces as a long stream of smoke leaked out of her mouth. "Is there a cigarette machine here ?" Veronica turned and favoured Thorton with a very pleasant smile. "You bet. I hear they're going to get rid of them, but hopefully not before I turn eighteen this winter. It's funny, it's right next to your room. That's where I was headed anyway. You need change ?" Veronica stuck her hand in her pocket and jingled what sounded like ten dollars in quarters. "It's so quiet here at night- no offence, but people never check in this late, which is a joke. It's only eight, but usually everyone's here by six. Not that I mind, because I have to watch the desk 'til midnight. If I didn't smoke, I think the boredom would drive me crazy." "I know exactly what you mean," Thorton said. When they reached the room Thorton dropped her stuff just inside the door and then walked over to where Veronica was feeding the machine quarters. She remembered back to her college days. Almost every pack she smoked came from th e vending machine. There was a special joy associated with pulling that lever back. The feel of the machine at work. The way the pack dropped down onto the metal tray, all shiny and wrapped. The thrill of knowing you had a whole new pack to smoke at your leisure. Soon after that, she'd quit. As soon as she'd started teaching. Her adrenaline was skyrocketing, her mind racing. Tomorrow, she would get down to business because it wasn't crazy to have followed Lori all this way, was it ? Tomorrow she'd reassert her self-control, but tonight she was going to reward herself for- it had been six months this time, hadn't it ? "Damn. Out of Parliaments again." Veronica pulled the Marlboro Lights 100s lever and a pack dropped down. She immediately started feeding quarters in again. Thorton fumbled in her purse for her wallet and as she thankfully came across an half-empty pack of matches Veronica touched her arm. "Don't bother- these quarters come out of the vending machine anyway. What brand ?" "Same as your," Thorton said, barely able to speak. Her tongue felt like a blanket. Her eyes seemed swollen. Her throat was itching. Veronica handed over one pack, stripped the other and lit a cigarette immediately. "If you need more, I'll be up another four hours at least. Just knock first if it's after eleven." Four hours ? Thorton looked at the pack as Veronica walked away and the thought that she'd be able to get more- No, she pushed that aside. Tonight was a one-night lapse. She certainly hadn't come to this little tourist trap to start smoking again. She knew something must be wrong, because she was thinking about just giving in and starting again. It would mean moving. They'd never believe she'd gone back to it where she was now. After all the trouble she was causing about it. She'd be humiliated. It would also mean no more teaching health. She had a minor in history to fall back on, but- It would mean leaving the church which seemed to have become such an important part of her life. Too many losses for a little personal pleasure. "Just tonight," she said, feeling a little bit unravelled. She come here to help Lori, a bright kid. A bright kid who had started smoking. She'd seen her push the cigarette lighter in at the stop light. Saw her fumble with the carton. It hadn't been hard finding out where they were going. She'd called the Appleton's and pretended to be the girl's paper carrier. 'They left me a message but it got cut off', she'd said. Fortunately the youngest girl Michelle had answered. Mrs. Appleton was sharp and she might have seen right through the petty deception. As it was, Michelle had done everything but fax her a map. Kelly put all that aside. She turned on the light. Tried not think about how disturbed some people might think she was for doing this. There was a wide mirror on the wall opposite the bed. Kelly took herself in, studied the vision of her reflection. It was unsettling. The wind blowing through the car had not been kind to her hair. It was puffed out behind her like twin airfoils, a nightmare seventies do which made her look forty instead of thirty. "I feel forty," she told herself. Her lips were pale. Her eyes were drawn and there were dark smudges underneath. I look old, and tired, and haggard. Oh, Kelly knew what was going on here. This was the time she needed most desperately to remind herself why she'd quit smoking or pray or something. But she couldn't. She was about to light one of these cigarettes and as always before she did, she was struck by how unhappy she'd become. It didn't really have anything to do with smoking. That was just the catalyst. Or so she told herself. She started by going into the bathroom and washing the road grime off her face. How you got road grime on you in a car was beyond her, but it was a fact that she had it. The cold water felt good. When she was done, she felt almost human. Ten years younger. She tried a smile. It worked. Of course it did. Kelly understood why. She pulled her hair back into a pony tail. She was on the thin side, but her face was very full- not fat- just pleasing. With the hair tight back like that, well, there went five years. Hell, maybe seven. It was her college look. The full face. Always smiling. The ever-present ponytail. The kind attitude that had gotten lost when she'd realised what she thought was going on in the real world. Only one thing missing. She opened the pack slowly. The urge to tear the cellophane off and rush was annoying. In the midst of casting aside the main force of her self-control she remained determined to possess some shred of it. The smell of tobacco calmed her. She put aside all of it. Looked in the mirror and wondered how this could be the same face as five minutes ago. She thought about turning off the light so that she wouldn't have to watch herself. But she wanted to watch herself. If she had to do this, she would enjoy it. The cigarette was brought slowly to her lips. She held it there with one hand for a moment, then let it dangle. She had hundreds of pictures of herself smoking. The support group assholes had advised her to throw them away, but she'd kept them as a reminder. Some were from her high school days in Virginia, where smoking was still generally acceptable. Others from college. She and her sister. Kelly smiled around the cigarette. Lit it with a match. Although it had been six months, she inhaled deeply and finished with a stately nose exhale. She sat and watched herself smoke the entire cigarette, walking back and forth and holding it the way Diana had taught her so that it would catch attention. She watched the years fall away from her face until she really looked twenty-three again. Only then did she turn out the light. As she lit the second cigarette, she thought about driving home in the morning. But she knew when the morning came the idea would seem less reasonable than it did now. Finally, she stopped thinking altogether. For tonight, it was enough to be happy. Until she ran out of cigarettes. Smoking had done what it usually did for Kelly. She was relaxed. She could think again. Right now she was trying to think like Lori. Not because she was going to cause her any problems. Quite the opposite. It was amasing what a pack of cigarettes would do for you. There'd never been a relapse remotely like this. One or two cigarettes snuck at home at three am- and she'd smoked at dinner with her sister when she'd gone back to Fairfax recently. Mostly because Diana had mocked her for quitting, and turning her antiism into her religion. That was six months ago, the last relapse. Diana was astute- hell, she was a psychologist, after all. She'd told her sister in plain english that the whole religion thing was a sham, that antiism was her god, that she'd jumped on it the same way she'd worked so hard to eradicate her accent once she moved up north. That somehow, the contrariness which had always been part and parcel to her personality had gotten out of control. That she was hiding from- She'd said a lot of other things as well, on issues ranging from sexuality to anal retentiveness in the extreme, but the bottom line was she was right. For seven years she'd been clinging to a whole mess of things which had nothing to do with who she was. Like not smoking. Kelly wasn't really sure how you came to such a digital decision as this, how you tossed seven years of your life and everything that you'd become into the trash. Not until she looked in the mirror. It was a little vain to say that she looked twenty. She knew that. She looked- well, she looked twenty-three, as though she'd gone back to the moment she'd quit smoking. That was how she'd felt. Digital was the only word for it. The switch had been flipped off. Whatever it was that had been wrong with her was gone. Maybe she'd take a week later this summer and let Diana get her some comp sessions with a colleague. She had a feeling she needed to know why this had happened. But that could come later. Right now it was time to unravel this fine mess she'd gotten herself into, and Lori might be able to help her. She knew where she'd be. Out with Maureen. They might have come up here to relax, but it was a Saturday night. They'd be out- Lori with her fake ID- Kelly found herself admiring the girl for that. The person who'd gone running off to the manager in the Shop 'n Save yesterday was dead and she was about to be buried. Or cremated. It was after eleven, so she knocked on the door and Veronica answered. The girl looked at Kelly with some confusion on her face. "I wonder if I could get a few more quarters," Kelly said. Veronica face transformed from confusion to a metal-crusted but highly attractive smile. Kelly was shocked to see that the girl was chewing gum. "I didn't recognise you at all." "It's not really my business, but should you be chewing gum with those braces ?" Kelly was pleased to hear her southern drawl escaping from its lockbox and returning to her voice, softening it. "I already smoked that whole pack, and to be honest, my-" she hesitated, but for some reason she couldn't explain, Veronica trusted this woman. "-my semi-ex girlfriend wants me to quit. She wants to quit, too." Grabbing her hand, Kelly started pulling her in the general direction of the cigarette machine. "Trust me. I've seen you smoke. If your semi-ex doesn't appreciate watching you smoke, you should find yourself someone who does." As Veronica let herself be led by the hand to the machine, both she and Kelly felt something almost electric in the contact between them. She filed that away for later analysis. It was certainly nothing, but- Veronica filled the slot with quarters and soon each of them were smoking again, Kelly using the complementary matches from her room. On the way into town, she'd stop and buy herself a real lighter. "Tell me, if I wanted to go out and grab a beer, where would I go ?" Veronica smiled again. It was a very pleasant smile. "Straight, gay, biker, or upscale ?" "There are four bars in town ?" "During tourist season. The upscale bar closes in September and the biker bar does lousy business in the winter. I'm pegging you for the- upscale bar." Kelly noticed the hitch. "Yeah. I'm looking for someone I know who's in town. Friends from back home." "That'd be the Pollyanna. Did you mean what you said ?" Veronica asked, sounding as lonely as a seventeen year old kid pulling all-night motel duty should. "Yeah. Of course. You should always be with someone who appreciates who you are." Which didn't explain why she trapped herself inside what she now thought of as the Thorton Shell for seven years. As she drove out of the parking lot she decided that mental health was indeed something wonderful. "You're spoiling me," Lori said. "Out drinking two nights in a row." "Why do you think I moved four blocks from home as soon as I started college ? I didn't want Mom and Dad copping an attitude about me flashing fake ID at the Hammer, even if the place would go out of business without the 18-21 fake ID crowd." "Mom and Dad wouldn't do that," Lori said. "I know that now, but I didn't then. Remember, I was there parenting experime nt. You got the finished product." Alicia sat back and watched the two sisters interact. She was having a good time. And not that it really mattered, but they seemed to have accepted that she was actually twenty-one, which made it easier to relax. The waitress brought a second pitcher and Alicia paused in the act of lighting her cigarette to pay for it. "Take a look over there," Lori said, pointing towards the bar proper. "Ohmigod," Alicia said. "Men and women. Drinking. Smoking. Relaxing. What would your Ms. Thorton say ?" Since the comment was in fun, Alicia hardly expected the reaction Lori had. "That is Ms. Thorton." Maureen took a closer look, leaned over to Alicia, and in a loud conspiratorial whisper said "Time to cut her off. These kids who can't hold their alcohol-" Alicia smiled. Especially since she was the youngest at the table. "I mean it, Mo-" "Well, I only see three problems with that, Lo. First, that women is twenty-five, tops. Second, Ms. Thorton is back home plotting to eradicate all the pleasure nerves in the human brain. Third, that woman is smoking." "Dammit, that's Ms. Thorton. I'm going over there-" Part of Maureen was worried that maybe letting her little sister drink was a bad idea, although it wasn't as though they were drinking grain alcohol. But she decided to let Lori make a fool out of herself. It would be a good learning experience about beer goggles. Better something like this than she end up bringing Rick Lake home one night thinking he was Brad Pitt. Lori lit a cigarette, picked up her beer, and strolled over to the bar. Just as she got over there the man sitting to the mystery woman's left got up, threw a twenty down on the bar, and walked off. She sat down next to Kelly, who was looking across the way at the throng on the tiny dance floor. When the woman turned her head, Lori suffered a jarring sense of dislocation. Perhaps Maureen had been right. This woman was so young, and her green eyes were alive, not like the lumps of dull rage Thorton carried around in her skull. Then she smiled, and for a second Lori was worried that she'd done something stupid, like- No, it was her. "Ms. Thorton ?" Kelly lifted her cigarette to her mouth, inhaled strongly, and enjoyed a long nose exhale. "Hello, Lori." "Ms. Thorton ?" "Call me Kelly." Before she could stop herself, Lori said "You have a first name ?" It was unforgivably cruel, but the four women would laugh about it later, as would Nathaniel. "Yes. And a personality. Although I seemed to have lost track of that for the better part of a decade." Suddenly Lori remembered the cigarette down by her waist. She'd learned how to hold it so that it would be safe- and attractive as well. Her gut reaction was to toss it on the floor, but then Kelly took another pull on her own, and emboldened, Lori followed suit. "I thought those cigarettes were for your sister-" Kelly said, but her voice was mild. Even pleasant. And she had a decidedly southern drawl. Fear crept up Lori's spine. This was like something out of Tales from the Crypt. "They were. She finally converted me to the cause last night- look, I hate to be rude, and I know you're still like almost my teacher, but what the hell are you doing here, and what happened to you ?" "Well, I'm here for a lot of reasons. I- I can see you're a little afraid of me right now, and hell, I don't blame you. All I can say is that I wanted to apologise for giving you an hard time yesterday. That was so stupid." Although there was no way she could, Lori felt as if she might just understand. "I didn't understand until last night why Maureen smoked. And judging from the way you look, you've had some kind of epiphany as well." "There's a word you don't get to use every day. Yeah. I feel ten years younger." "Don't take this the wrong way, but you look fifteen years younger. I thought you were- well, if I had to guess, I'd say that you drove for four hours to hunt me down for underage smoking-" Kelly raised her eyebrows. "I did." Lori started to get up, but Kelly very gently touched her arm, getting her to stay. The two women smoked in silence for a moment. "I- all I can say is that from the time I came to the school I was on this stupid kick, and, well, now I've come out the other side." "You followed me here," Lori said, her voice a little hostile. "Yeah, I did. Or- don't think I'm crazy, but a person wearing my skin followed you here." "And who's wearing your skin now ? And why does it look so much better ?" It was a rude question, but Lori didn't care. Until she saw the hurt in Kelly's eyes. "The original article. I feel like I did the day I quit smoking." She looked at her cigarette. "I really like this Marlboro Lights. I used to smoke Parliaments, but-" "Well, if you like Marlboro Lights and beer, why don't you come over and sit down with us-" "You'd ask me-" "Oh, just to make Maureen eat crow, I would. But- I hate to insult you again, but you seem, like really cool now-" "I've been an ass for a long time, haven't I ?" Lori found herself slipping her arm around Kelly. "It's okay. I was an ass for the whole last year. Maureen's been wanting me to start smoking and I kept saying no." "I hope I didn't-" Lori laughed. "Actually, you went a long way yesterday towards helping me decide to start again." "And in a strange way, you're the reason I started again." The two women laughed. It was the beginning of a great week.... |
| |
Index by date |
Index by author |
Index by subject Smoking From All Sides ( Glamor - Pics | Female Celebrity Smoking List ) [ Printer friendly version ] Contact webmaster | |
Processing took 0.00116 seconds
|