The Crusader, Part 4

The Crusader (Part 4)


The next day Joanne went about her business as though nothing had happened.
She called the college that evening to chat with the girls, and found that
everything was still fine. Jenny told her that the facilities were great
although the food was perhaps less than what it could be, but that they
liked being on their own for the first time. Jenny said that she and Tammy
had found the student lounge and were spending a lot of time there because
it was one of the few places they were allowed to smoke. But all in all, it
wasn't bad.

When Jenny mentioned her smoking it immediately reminded Joanne of the
events of the night previous. She felt a little ashamed of herself at first
but then remembered that she seemed to actually enjoy it a little by the
end. After a time, she decided to have some wine before going to bed and
poured herself a glass. As she consumed the wine she found herself
remembering the cigarette she had last night, and she decided to try another
one. She retrieved one from the pack in the kitchen drawer, then went into
the dining room to get the ashtray. She lit up and blew out a small cloud of
smoke as she settled back on the sofa. Joanne took a puff, inhaled, and
again felt the same pleasurable sensations she had last night. The taste of
the VS100 was no longer unpleasant, although she couldn't yet say that she
liked it. But she did like the act of smoking, she realized, and found the
slightly intoxicating effect of the nicotine a nice compliment to her wine.
This time Joanne was able to smoke most of the cigarette, taking 6 or 7
puffs in all, and inhaled every time. She felt slightly light-headed by the
end but didn't mind it at all, and she thought she was finally able to
understand what happened with her co-workers at the dinner last night. 

Over the next week or so Joanne decided to treat herself to one cigarette
each evening. She rationalized that she was a mature woman, not a teenager,
and that she knew fully what she was doing in making her choice. She
reconciled her work life with her behaviour by thinking about the actions of
her co-workers the week before and believing that if they could smoke
occasionally, why shouldn't she? Plus, she concluded, it helped her
understand what both Jenny and teenagers in general went through as they
took up the habit, so perhaps it might help her in her work in some manner.
The fact that she was now inhaling longish puffs deep into her lungs and
enjoying it greatly was something she never really allowed herself to think
about. Nor did she think it strange that on Friday and Saturday evening she
actually had two cigarettes each night with her wine.

On Tuesday night Joanne realized that she was smoking the last cigarette
from Tammy's pack. She thought that it would be her last, and smiled
ruefully at her escapades over the last 10 days. She had enjoyed it, she
realized, but knew that this would be it. Jenny would be back in a few days,
and she didn't really want to do this while she was around. It was bad
enough that she had let herself go this far, and she really didn't want to
show this side of her to Jenny. But the next night she felt vaguely uneasy
during the course of the evening, and couldn't really understand why until
she caught a glimpse of the ashtray in the dining room and felt a sudden
pang of desire. She realized what was happening and silently cursed herself
for feeling such things, trying to mentally convince herself that her
smoking had come to an end and she should just forget it. But the next day
on the way home from work she stopped in at the supermarket for a few
necessities, and standing at the checkout she saw a promo display for
Virginia Slims. She felt something stir within her, and thought only briefly
before she looked around to see if anyone she knew was in sight, and then
reached for a pack from the display and placed them on the belt. Driving
home, she rationalized that she might need to replace Tammy's pack once she
returned if she asked about it, and that this would permit her to do so. All
she needed to do was to have a few to reduce the number to the same as was
there when she first found them.

That night she opened the pack and had one. She finished it before even
touching much of her wine, and after about 40 minutes she still had a few
sips left in her glass. She looked at it, and decided another cigarette
would suit her just fine as she finished it. Joanne had left the pack on the
living room table next to the ashtray and pulled a second cigarette from it.
She smoked it slowly, almost thoughtfully, by now taking full puffs and
exhaling languidly from her nose and mouth. By the time it was finished
Joanne felt very satisfied and relaxed, and as she crushed it out while
raising her chin and blowing a stream towards the ceiling she felt the same
pleasant sensation that she had now become accustomed to after smoking. She
repeated the performance on Friday night except this time she had a third
cigarette while watching the late news before going to bed. 

Saturday morning saw Joanne driving to the college to pick up the girls.
They had enjoyed their 2 weeks at the campus but were glad to be returning
home. While they drove home they chatted about what had happened during the
two weeks, and after about a half-hour Jenny asked her mom if she could
smoke. Joanne agreed, and Jenny and Tammy each opened their windows slightly
and lit up. The smell of the smoke made Joanne remember the enjoyment she
had felt over the last two weeks, and at a stoplight she looked over at the
girls and watched each of them casually inhale long drags with more than a
little envy. She took a deep breath, both to try and breathe in a little
sidestream smoke as well as to try Jenny's trick of using breathing
exercises to try and eliminate a desire to smoke. Neither worked
particularly well for her. 

Tammy was spending the night with Jenny before her parents returned from
Europe the next day, and everyone agreed that they should just hang around
the house that night and enjoy themselves at home. Jenny called Laurie and
invited her over, and the three girls spent the early evening catching up on
gossip, telling stories about the last two weeks, and generally acting like
the three amigos. It seemed like someone was always smoking the whole time
they were together, and Joanne was increasingly feeling a desire for a
cigarette herself as she watched the three teenage girls smoke constantly.
Around mid-evening they ordered a couple of pizzas and decided to have a
little bit of a party. Joanne treated herself to a glass of red wine with
her dinner, while the girls stuck to sodas or iced tea. When they had all
eaten their fill, they adjourned to the family room downstairs and when
Joanne arrived with a tray of fresh drinks including another glass of wine
for herself, she walked into a room filled with smoke from the girls. 

As she sat and sipped her wine, watching Jenny, Tammy and Laurie smoke
became too much for Joanne to stand. She thought about slipping upstairs and
grabbing her pack to have one in the garage, but she decided that was
childish. If she wanted to smoke, she thought, she should just admit it. It
wasn't like she was setting a bad example or anything, she figured; after
all, all three of them smoked more than she ever would. She decided she'd
take advantage of the lighthearted atmosphere in the room and casually
mentioned as Jenny and Laurie were lighting up, "You know, girls, I think
I'd like to try one of those too."

Jenny let out a yelp. "MOM!!! Are you serious?!? You, smoke? Get off it!,"
she exclaimed incredulously. The other girls were laughing at Jenny's
reaction, even though they knew from what she had told them that Joanne was
a vehement anti-smoker, or so they thought. Laurie, though, took Joanne's
remark at face value and offered her a Salem. Joanne coolly accepted,
feeling somewhat self-conscious in spite of her bravado, and Jenny watched
unbelievingly as her mom accepted a light. Joanne drew deeply on the Salem,
tasting mentholated smoke for the first time, and inhaled anxiously. The
cool smoke felt strange in her chest, but pleasantly so, and as she exhaled
she felt a sense of relief for the first time all day.

"Mom, I can't believe it! When did you learn how to smoke like that?," Jenny
demanded. "How long have you been doing this, anyway?"

Joanne didn't miss the role reversal that was going on here, and she almost
enjoyed the distress and confusion she was causing her daughter. She
repressed the urge to laugh and instead casually replied, "I know how to
smoke. What makes you think I haven't done it before? I just like to have
one now and then."

"Not that I can ever remember," Jenny shot back. "C'mon, mom, what's up?"

"Nothing, Jenny," she replied. "Do you have a problem with me having a
cigarette?"  

"No mom, of course not. How could I? But you have to admit, this is a little
strange. I never would have believed it."

"OK, Jenny, I'll tell you the truth. I got curious about smoking after
watching you enjoy it so much the last year or so. I tried it a few times
and discovered I like one with a glass of wine occasionally. Will that
satisfy you?"

"Sure mom, no problem," Jenny responded, laughing. "This is just too much,
though. Wow... I can't get over this. Hey, whenever you want one, you can
have one of mine." 

"Actually, dear, I've never had one of them before. Maybe later. Nor one of
these," she said, indicating her Salem. "Laurie, these are rather nice,
aren't they?," she offered, taking another puff and evaluating the smoke as
she inhaled.

"Yeah, I like them a lot, Mrs. D.," Laurie said, lighting up one for
herself. "They're the kind I started out with since my mom smokes them, and
I really like them. But I'm used to the menthols by now... these guys hate
them," she said, nodding her head in the direction of her friends.

"They are different, that's for certain," Joanne replied. "I think I like
the menthol. They seem strong, though."

"Yeah, I guess they are. But they're all I've ever smoked. I like them
strong, I guess," Laurie answered.

Joanne took another puff as Jenny continued to stare unbelievingly at her
mom. She inhaled and blew out a thick stream of smoke, adjusting to the
strength of the Salems. She finished the cigarette eventually, and over the
remainder of the evening had 2 more, one of Tammy's Slims and one of Jenny's
Marlboros. Even though the sight was becoming something she no longer found
quite so unbelievable, that didn't make it any easier for Jenny to
understand, or to get used to. 

Jenny had regular opportunities to get accustomed to the sight of her
mother's smoking over the next few weeks. Now that the cat was out of the
bag, Joanne would usually join her daughter for a cigarette each evening
after dinner. At first, Jenny would just shake her head in amazement at the
sight, still not believing what she was seeing. For her part, Joanne swore
her daughter to secrecy because of her job, and in truth she felt a little
like a schoolgirl again because of the forbidden nature of her behaviour.
The one cigarette she enjoyed each evening with Jenny no longer seemed
strange, and in fact she found herself quite enjoying the shared experience
with her daughter. But any more than that made her feel guilty, and Jenny
would still look sharply at her when she caught her smoking at other times.
Though she never said anything, Jenny's reaction always made Joanne feel
uncomfortable, and she knew it was the hypocrisy, not her smoking, that
Jenny really didn't approve of. It was becoming more and more difficult
lately, as Joanne now decided to enjoy a cigarette after breakfast and one
before bed as well.

When she and Jenny went out to dinner one evening, Joanne's heart began to
beat nervously after they finished and Jenny lit up, asking her mom if she
was going to join her too. Joanne really wanted to have a cigarette but was
afraid that someone would see her smoking. It struck her at that moment that
if she was going to continue along this path - and she thought that she
wanted to -  that she would need to do something about her work situation.
She liked an occasional - and sometimes lately, not so occasional -
cigarette, and hated having to stay in the closet about it. She still hadn't
changed her mind about the hypocrisy of her co-workers, and realized that
her own hypocrisy now meant that she no longer enjoyed what she was doing
each day. Soon after, she started quietly putting out feelers for a new
career choice.

Changing jobs was not something she could do frivolously, though. Her
position at CAT paid rather well, and although the alimony payments she
received each month helped, she needed to bring in a steady income to
maintain the lifestyle she and Jenny had become accustomed to. The few solid
leads she found didn't appeal to her, and after a couple of months of
searching she had made little progress. The same could not be said for her
smoking habit. Joanne was now having 5 or 6 cigarettes a day, smoking in the
car on the way to and from work in addition to those she would have in
secret at home. She realized that she missed smoking now when she was
deprived of the opportunity to indulge at her normal times, and she was
somewhat disturbed by that thought when it finally hit her. But she
continued to smoke regardless, having now come to enjoy the habit in a way
that she never would have thought possible. Her enjoyment of it made work
more and more difficult each week. 

One evening Joanne was asked to appear live on a supper-hour news program to
discuss smoking among teenagers. It had been a hectic day at work and she
was running behind all day. To make matters worse, she had run out of
cigarettes on the way to the office that morning and now was so late that
she had no time to stop to buy a fresh pack on the way to the TV station.
She barely made it on time and she felt that her performance was not up to
her usual standard because of her frazzled state of mind. Afterwards on her
way out, she was stopped by Steve Carey, the show's producer. "Joanne, hi,
listen, thanks for coming. Appreciate it," he said. "You did great, as
usual. I don't know how you always manage to be so smooth," he said with a grin.

"Well, thanks, Steve. I really didn't think I did so good for you tonight.
I've had a shitty day and I barely made it here. I think it probably showed,
or at least I felt it did." 

He suddenly looked at her differently. "There's a word I never heard you use
before, at least on the air," he said with a laugh. "Would you like to
unwind a little? I'd like to offer you dinner if you're not busy, or at
least a drink. I'm done here for now. I know it's presumptuous of me, but if
you're not busy..."

Joanne thought for a few seconds. Jenny was going to be spending the evening
with Tammy, so there was nothing waiting for her at home. And Steve was,
well... interesting. He had always paid special attention to her, she had
noticed, but it seemed whenever she was at the station in the past she was
seeing someone and never followed up on his attentions. She didn't know for
sure, but she knew he didn't wear a ring so she assumed she wasn't married.
The thought of having a drink with him seemed appealing so she impulsively
agreed. "That would be nice... how about The Left Bank?," she said,
suggesting a nearby French bistro. Steve smiled and they headed out immediately.

When they arrived and were greeted by the hostess, Steve turned to Joanne
and smiled slightly sheepishly. "I guess we sit in non-smoking?," he asked.

"Oh... do you smoke?," Joanne asked innocently. She almost hoped he would
say yes. 

"Yeah, I'm afraid I do. Sorry. But it won't bother me. We can sit in
non-smoking," he answered.

"No, that's all right. Really. Two for smoking, please," she told the hostess.

After they were seated and placed their drink orders, Steve turned to
Joanne. "Are you sure you don't mind if I smoke?," he asked. Joanne smiled
and shook her head. Steve pulled out a pack of Benson and Hedges Lights and
tapped one out. "I feel like a kid, smoking in front of my mom or something.
But I haven't had one in hours. Thanks for tolerating this. I know it must
not be something you usually do. I've been thinking about quitting... ," he
said, before she cut him off.

"Steve, don't worry about it," Joanne replied. "It might surprise you to
know that I'm around smokers fairly often. It doesn't bother me at all. Go
ahead."

"Well, if you're sure you don't mind... thanks," he said with a grin. Steve
lit up and Joanne felt a sudden sense of desire. Her heart began beating
faster as she thought about asking him for one. She suppressed the feeling
as best she could, cleared her throat, and made small talk. She watched
Steve smoke and couldn't shake the thought that she wanted one too. Was it a
craving?, she thought momentarily. No matter, she was enjoying chatting with
Steve so much that her discomfort seemed secondary. He really was an
interesting fellow, she thought. He had some similar opinions as she did on
politics and values, and was tremendously entertaining as he regaled her
with tales of life behind the scenes in TV news. Soon they decided that some
dinner would be in order, and as they shared a bottle of wine and ate in the
dimly-lit restaurant, their table illuminated by candlelight, Joanne decided
she really did like Steve. By now she had learned enough about him to know
that he was unattached, and she thought she wouldn't mind changing that. 

After they finished eating and coffee was served, Steve again reached for
his B&Hs. Joanne had decided earlier in the evening that she was going to
smoke with him after dinner, and damn the consequences. "Steve," she began,
grinning with embarrassment, "may I? Don't fall over in shock or anything,
but I would like to have a cigarette with you, if I could."

Steve looked slightly amazed, but grinned mischievously. "You're not
serious... shit, you *are* serious, aren't you? Well, sure, I guess. Jo, do
you have feet of clay or something too?" he asked, offering her the pack.
She extracted one gingerly.

"Maybe I do at that. Size 8's I think," she offered. "I know this must seem
really strange," she said, as she moved the cigarette to her lips and leaned
into the flame as he lit her up. She blew out some smoke, then began a long
drag and inhaled. "Thank you," she said before exhaling through her mouth
and nose. "I don't do this in front of very many people. You're maybe the
5th person who knows I smoke. Consider yourself privileged," she said with a
smile. "Please don't tell anyone, Steve. It's difficult enough hiding it
already. I can't really admit this to very many people given my employment
situation."

"Yeah, I can sort of see a problem there," he said with a chuckle. "Don't
worry, Jo, I won't say a word," he continued. "I take it then that this is a
fairly recent development?"

Joanne nodded, and related to him the story of Jenny's smoking, the
misplaced pack, and her own introduction to the habit after the fund-raiser.
Steve nodded sympathetically. "It shouldn't come as any surprise to you to
find people acting hypocritically in the world of politics," he said. "We
see it all the time. It's almost impossible to be successful in that
business if you aren't."

"I guess I always knew that, but I hadn't really seen it until then," she
replied. "Anyway, I've pretty much concluded that there's no future for me
in it. But it's hard to find another job that pays this well. Until I do, I
guess I'll just have to live with it," she said before taking another puff.  

Steve watched her closely. He felt excited by watching Jo smoke, for he had
always had a little bit of a "thing" for women who smoked elegantly, which
she most certainly did. The fact that she was incredibly elegant to begin
with didn't hurt. He had been interested in her from the first time he saw
her, but now it had just been turned up a few notches. He decided to offer
his assistance and build a bond between them. "Well, maybe, but how long do
you think you can hide this? If you want, I'll put out a few feelers for
you," he offered. "I'm sure someone like you wouldn't have much of a problem
finding something. Heck, I hear Channel 7 will be looking for a news anchor
in a little while. Their ratings have gone south on them with that happy
news format they bought into. I bet you'd be great. Why don't you try out? I
can get you an audition, I know some people over there."

"Are you nuts? I've never done that," she responded. "I haven't a clue what
to do. I'd fall flat on my face."

"Give yourself a little credit, sweetie," he countered playfully. "Do you
think those talking heads you see every night are geniuses or something?
Hardly brain surgery we're talking here. You're a natural, and you have one
huge advantage: you've got a head on those shoulders that has something in
it. With a little polishing, you'd be a star, I'm sure of it. I can help, if
you want."

"How?," she asked, uncertain but starting to be intrigued by the idea.

"Well, I run the place, right? I have a little pull," he said, grinning. "I
could teach you how to be a news anchor. Some of our old scripts, a tech or
two, and presto, a demo tape anyone would be proud of. It wouldn't take very
long, only a few sessions, I'm sure. What do you say? Want to give it a try?
We could do it in the evenings between the suppertime show and the late news."

Joanne thought for a minute before nodding agreement. It *did* seem exciting
to her, not just for the prospect of a new job opportunity but also for the
chance to spend more time with Steve. "Great, we can start next week if you
want," he said. "Tell you what, why don't we have dinner on Saturday? I can
get some things together by then and I can lay out for you exactly what we
can do. Deal?"

The deal was made, and on Saturday Steve took her to one of the better
places in town for dinner. He had put together an entire development
strategy for her: scripts to learn, handbooks to study, and several demo
tapes of others complete with critiques for her to watch. They made a
schedule for the following week, then settled in to enjoy each other's
company for the rest of the evening. It turned out that was hardly work for
either of them, because they quickly realized that they liked each other.
For Steve, the enjoyment of Joanne's company was amplified by her smoking
throughout the evening, something she showed no reluctance to do on this
night. She had brought her pack of Virginia Slims with her and had one
before dinner and several afterwards as the evening went on, smoking each in
a way that he found almost seductive. Even though she was new to the habit
she had developed a style that matched the rest of her image. And her habit
seemed to be developing nicely as well, he noted, as she smoked like she had
been doing it for years. When they finally left the restaurant after several
hours and he offered to take her back to his place, he was both surprised
and overjoyed when she said yes with a slightly shy smile. "Just for a
little while, Steve," she said. "I'd like to see your place. But I can't
stay long. Maybe another time, though, after we've known each other a little
longer... ", she whispered with a naughty grin. 

True to her word, she accepted one drink and a tour, then took her leave.
But when they pulled up to her place and he shut off the car, they clasped
hands and after a few moments where they confirmed plans for the next week,
they found themselves kissing each other. As he drove away, Steve felt as if
he was dreaming. 

The next week they began the process of grooming Joanne for her new career
as a television news anchor. Joanne felt incredibly nervous and out-of-place
the first time she tried to deliver one of the scripts on-camera, and
watching her performance with Steve afterwards would have been agonizing if
not for his gentle encouragement and support. Even though the studio was
non-smoking, Steve and Joanne reviewed her tape in one of the edit suites
that was enclosed and reasonably private and he said it was a favorite place
for the smokers on staff to indulge, so she had no hesitation in joining him
when he lit up. She was nervous enough about watching herself that she felt
like she needed a cigarette by then, and truly enjoyed the relaxing effect
she felt when she repeatedly filled her lungs with puff after puff from her VS. 

For a first attempt things seemed to have gone reasonably well, and Joanne
felt a sense of satisfaction as she drove home. Jenny was there, eagerly
awaiting her mom's delivery of her own news on how the evening went. They
sat down and watched the late night news together as Joanne explained what
she had done, with a new appreciation for what she was watching, as they
each enjoyed a cigarette. Jenny was fascinated and asked if she could
accompany her mom to one of the sessions. Joanne thought it would be
educational for her so she promised to ask Steve the next day if it would be
OK. That wouldn't take a great deal of effort for her as they had made plans
for dinner the next night, their interest in each other continuing to grow
steadily.

A few nights later, Jenny and Joanne arrived at the studio for her next
session. Jenny's presence seemed to have a calming effect on Joanne as she
delivered her script, and her biggest problem was trying to keep a straight
face as she read a particularly absurd part of the script near the close
that talked about a nude beach that the authorities were considering
shutting down. It was one of those stories that typically are used at the
end of a broadcast to close on a light note, and was accompanied by suitably
distorted images of the nudists, sanitized for family viewing. Everyone
seemed to have a good laugh when she had finished the segment. They made
their way into the edit suite and Jenny was pleased to see the ashtray that
Steve produced from under the table. She had been feeling a craving after
being into the studio for nearly an hour, and joined her mother and Steve in
lighting up. They watched the tape together for 10 minutes or so, with Steve
providing both criticism and compliments on Joanne's performance. 

He excused himself after a few minutes to check on a story while Jo and
Jenny continued to review the tape. Steve left the door to the suite open
while the tape played a second time, and Jenny decided to take advantage of
the suite to have another cigarette. Joanne also decided to indulge again,
and when Jenny's lighter wouldn't work, she extended hers to light up her
daughter. This was all taking place while the nudist segment was playing on
the monitor, and Joanne joked with her daughter, "I hope no one ever finds
out that you like to hang out there... God knows what they'd say about me!
Probably think we're both exhibitionists or something!".

Three weeks later Joanne was working in her office Carolyn walked in,
looking grave. "We need to talk," she said severely, closing the door. "Sam
Morris got me aside over at the hill this morning. He gave me this. It came
in his morning mail," she said, handing Joanne a letter with no signature.
"If it's true, we've got a big problem. He told me in no uncertain terms
that if there's any truth in it, he's going to disassociate himself from you
and demand your resignation. Read it."

The letter was from someone who had obviously witnessed Joanne and Jenny in
the studio that night three weeks ago. As Joanne read it, her heart first
jumped at the reference to her daughter smoking in the studio, and the
allegation that she was contributing to her daughter's delinquency, as the
letter stated that the girl looked to be no more than 13. She was relieved a
little to see no reference to her own smoking, which made her wonder a
little. But then it got much worse. It went on to suggest that the two of
them habitually visited the nude beach that was discussed in Joanne's mock
broadcast, and even stated that she had been overheard stating that she had
encouraged her daughter to expose herself to older men while there.

"Is it true?," Carolyn asked flatly.

Joanne was too stunned to reply immediately. After a few seconds, she was
able to recover enough to answer. "No, of course not... Carolyn, how could
you even ask? Yes, I was there, and yes, my daughter was smoking. I don't
like that, but she does and that's that. But the rest of it? It's all a pack
of lies. Why would someone ever do such a thing?"

"I have no idea, but if it isn't true, and you plan on denying it, Sam wants
a letter saying so. If this person goes public, he wants deniability. It's a
good thing Phil is out of town this week. He's probably have your head right
away, knowing him. As it is, I don't know how he'll react when he hears you
allow your daughter to smoke, for God's sake," she said sanctimoniously.

Joanne felt like everything had suddenly closed in on her. Her head was
spinning and she didn't know whether to cry or explode. "Carolyn, I need to
be alone for a few minutes. Would you mind....?" Carolyn nodded her
agreement and left the office. Joanne immediately called Steve and explained
the situation to him. In the middle of the call it finally hit her, and she
broke down, deeply hurt by the false and vicious allegations against her.
Steve helped her compose herself, himself feeling the hurt that this person
he cared for so much had been so badly treated, and after a while they were
able to talk about the situation a little more analytically.

"Jesus... I hate to say this Jo, but it had to be someone here. There were
only a few people here with us that night." 

"But who, Steve," she pleaded. "Who would want to say such awful things
about me? And why?"

"I don't know, honey," he said. "I can't understand why anyone would act so
cowardly in the first place, and attack someone like that. They must have
some real problems. I just can't believe it would be anyone here. Besides,
the only people here that night were Woody and Josh on cameras, Linda up in
the booth, and... "

"And who, Steve?"

"Oh my God... no, it couldn't be... at least, I..."

"WHO???"

"Michelle, my assistant. I hate to say this, but... it could be her. She...
well, I don't know how to tell you this, but she hates you, Jo."

"Hates me? Why?"

"I dunno. Partly jealousy, I suppose... you're glamourous and good-looking,
and she is just sort of ordinary. I suppose that's part of it. She always
had a chip on her shoulder over people in the public relations business like
you. She got her diploma a few years ago but couldn't ever get a job in the
business, and I've heard her say that she could do your job better than you.
Plus, she smokes like a chimney, and really despises you over your position
on that. She's been on my case over having you on a few times... she says
you ought to just let smokers be.  But God... to do something like that... I
just can't believe it." 

"But Steve, I had nothing to do with her... why would she be so vicious?"

"God knows Jo. I don't. The question really ought to be, what are you going
to do now?"

Joanne paused for a moment. "God, Steve, I just don't know. I can't stay
here with this hanging over my head like a sword. If that person - whoever
it is - ever goes public with this, it won't matter what the truth really
is. I'll never work here again. Oh God... ," she sighed.

"Well, I think you're ready for that audition. And I know Channel 7 is ready
to make a move. I think you should let me make a few phone calls for you.
Let's have dinner tonight, OK? You sound like you need some company if
nothing else, and I'd love to be the shoulder you can cry on if you want."

Joanne decided to book the rest of the week out of the office and she met
Steve that night. Whether it was the strain of what had happened that day or
something else she wasn't sure, but she felt like smoking constantly all
night and didn't resist the urge. Steve watched her give in to it and felt a
strange mixture of both sympathy for her position and arousal at her sudden
need to smoke. Between those thoughts he was able to encourage her to go
through with the audition, and after she showed some openness to the idea he
told her that he had arranged for her to visit Channel 7 in two days time.

Joanne dazzled them at her audition, and on the following day they called
and offered her a position as their co-anchor on the early-evening news. The
salary wasn't bad, and they talked of possible bonuses and raises after a
review in six months time. It took her only a few minutes to accept, and she
wrote her letter of resignation to C.A.T. almost immediately after telling
Jenny and Steve the news. They all made plans to celebrate that night, and
the three of them went back to the bistro where Steve and Joanne had first
gotten together. As they sat at the table and reviewed the menus, Steve had
the pleasure of lighting both his girlfriend's cigarette as well as her
daughter's. After the waiter poured them each some wine - overlooking
Jenny's age for the moment - Steve raised his glass in a toast.

"Here's to the new co-anchor of NewsSeven... every success," he offered.
"Well, not too much - after all, you are the competition now. Frankly, I'm
worried," he said with a grin, as they sipped their wine. "By the way, they
aren't the only ones making changes today. I'm in the market for a new
assistant."

"Michelle?"

".... is no more. I confronted her today. I recognized her handwriting on
that copy you gave me. When I presented her with it, she admitted she had
written it. I managed to hold my temper long enough to ask why. You know,
she couldn't really explain it? She had no idea what it had done. She just
thought she'd stir something up, I think. She had no idea of the pain she
caused you, the idiot. I couldn't possibly keep her around after that and
she knew it. I just can't believe that I hired someone like that in the
first place. At least she had the decency not to make a scene. So, that's over."

"No, Steve, it will never be over," Joanne countered. "To say something like
that about someone... it scars you forever. I can never forgive her. But
maybe, just maybe, it finally pushed me in the right direction. I sure hope
so, anyway. I just can't possibly thank you enough. You have been so
wonderful..." she said, grasping his hand under the table as Jenny watched,
beaming. She took a long puff on her Marlboro, inhaled deeply, and watched
as her mom did the same with her 15th VS of the day as Steve and her just
looked into each other's eyes while holding hands. She felt the familiar
satisfaction flow through her as she held the puff in her lungs and knew
that her mom was now experiencing the same sensations herself. At least
there's be no more nagging about smoking from her, she let herself think for
a second as a smile crossed her face. It was a tough way to change things,
she thought, and she hated the person at Steve's station who had said such
terrible things about them. But she also couldn't help believing that it
marked a new beginning for all of them. The crusader had laid down her
sword, and it had disappeared in a puff of smoke.   

-end-

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