Diane Comes Back and Brings Her New Husband

(by anonymous15, 22 January 2009)

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Diane Comes Back and Brings Her New Husband

There have been several stories about non-smoker husbands with a smoking
fetish who have talked their wives into taking up smoking.  Two in particular
are "Kim and Mark" and "Kelli Ann Takes a Plunge." In both, the women were
reluctant to try smoking in the beginning, but took to it easily once they
made their decision.  Here is a story in which Bob, the non-smoking husband,
made the same request of his wife Diane of a little more than a month, and
got a totally unexpected answer.  This story is fictional, would probably be
PG rated, and takes place in the early 1970's, when indoor smoking was not
that much regulated.

Diane Hauslin met Robert Porter at a pre-Christmas church mixer.  Diane was a
senior English major looking forward to graduating from Great Ivy University
and getting her first job teaching high school English.  Bob was in the first
year of a two-year professional Master's program in Computer Science, one of
the first in the country.  Diane had taken a couple of computer courses as
well and the two found that, in addition to the same religious beliefs had
other things in common and enjoyed each others' company.  In June, Diane
graduated and took a teaching job near home, some 100 miles away.  Bob, while
finishing his Master's, took many weekend trips to visit Diane.  At Christmas
time he proposed and the two were married the following August.

Bob received an attractive job offer from the government in the Washington DC
area.  Unfortunately for Diane, the area was saturated with English teachers,
but because she had taken computer courses to complement her English
education major, she received a part-time job offer from Sayvac Corporation,
a computer hardware and software firm that needed a technical writer.  Sayvac
also forwarded her resume to a local college that was starting a remedial
program in English.  She received an offer to teach part-time there - three
sections of the same remedial English course, all on Monday and Wednesday.
She spent those days and Thursday afternoon at the college.  She spent all
day Tuesday and Friday plus Thursday morning at Sayvac.  Bob tended to like
early hours, so he opted to work from 6 to 2:30, which got him home before
the rush hour at about 3.  Diane normally came home about an hour later.

The couple found a nice apartment in a good area.  Diane's parents helped
them move in.  After her parents left, Bob carried Diane over the threshold
and it was official.  They were starting a very happy life together.   There
was just one problem.  Bob's performance in the bedroom was inconsistent.
Some days he would meet Diane at the door eager to make love to his bride.
At other times, he seemed less able to perform, and sometimes he was totally

Diane couldn't figure out what the problem was.  At first, she attributed it
to the new job and responsibilities.  But then she noticed a pattern
beginning to emerge.  Bob tended to react to her coming home in the same way
on the same day of the week, week after week.  By the first Friday in
October, it had been six weeks.  As Diane drove home from work she decided to
see if today would be any different than other Fridays and, if not, to ask
him if he had any explanation.  She parked her car and entered the apartment.
Bob was at his desk looking over the mail.  He got up, greeted her with a
kiss and asked her how her day was.  She told him fine and before he had a
chance to sit again put both of her arms around him and asked, "Interested?"
His answer was expected, but disappointing, "I guess so, if you want to."  On
some days Bob would take the initiative - he couldn't wait to take Diane into
the bedroom.  Fridays were not one of those days.  This was the pattern.

"Sweetie, can we sit a minute and talk?  It's important." Diane answered, as
she sat on the couch.

"Of course."  Bob, responding to Diane's urgency, answered.  He sat next to
her, and asked, "Are you mad at me about something?"

"No, not angry - just curious.  It seems to me that on days when I'm at
school, you want to sweep me off my feet when I get home.  But on days when
I'm working at Sayvac - nothing - except 'if you want to,' and then you
sometimes don't even connect."  Bob's face turned red, as though he'd just
been embarrassed.  Diane continued, "It's been consistent for more than a
month.  Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are the really good days.  But on
Tuesday and Friday you're apathetic."

"But weekends are OK, aren't they?" Bob asked.

"Sometimes.  Mornings are better for you, and that's OK.  But it's the
weekday pattern and the difference in your behavior that I find curious.
Yesterday was a Thursday and I thought you'd be a tiger.  But you weren't.
Then today as I thought about it, I realized that I didn't go to the meeting
at school because I wanted to get a project finished at Sayvac. That made a
difference!  What's more puzzling is that I forgot to tell you about the
change.  The pattern is unmistakable.  Home from school - the tiger.  Home
form Sayvac - nothing."  Diane put her hand on Bob's cheeks and, noticing how
embarrassed he looked, asked, "What is it, Sweetie?  I can see in your face
that you know.  Tell me."

"Honey, I don't want you to be upset with me," Bob replied.

"Darling, you can tell me.  I don't know what it is that's bothering you, and
even if it's not good, it's better than not knowing at all." Bob drew a

"Well, it's the way you smell when you come home from school." Diane asked
what he meant.

"I smell cigarette smoke in your hair and sometimes on your clothes."

"That's what turns you on?"

"I guess I've always had a fascination with girls smoking.  I know it's
crazy."  Bob, his face still red, answered.

"Sweetie, it's not crazy."

"It even goes so far that sometimes I wish that you smoked."

"Well, would you want me to smoke?"

"Remember when your parents helped us move in - the Kent cigarettes that your
Mom left, and we threw them out?  I was secretly hoping you'd take one and
smoke it - just once."

"This has been going on since then, right?" Diane asked.

"I know.  But Honey, that'd be too much to ask of you.  Let's forget I even
mentioned it.  And please don't be angry."

Diane smiled and kissed Bob.

"Sweetheart, I'm not angry at all.  If anything, I'm relieved that that's all
it is.  But there's something I need to tell you.  I never told you this
before because I wasn't sure how you'd take it, but now maybe you should

"Know what?" Bob asked.

"We met about halfway through my senior year, right?"  Bob nodded.

"Just before Christmas at the mixer."  Bob confirmed.

"Well, you never knew this about me, but I used to smoke."

"You did?"  Bob asked with surprise in his voice.

Diane nodded.

"For almost three years.  I started almost as soon as I got to college.  You
know that my parents smoke, but Mom always told us girls never to start.
When my older sister Christine started, Mom stepped up the propaganda on me.
Even though I said I wouldn't, on my second night there I was in the dorm
with a group, including my roommate.  They talked me into trying a cigarette
- just one.  It had a weird taste - mint, but an awful burnt taste.  One of
them showed me how to inhale and I tried it that way.  I remember how dizzy I
got from it, and I said 'Never again.'  But I kept getting drawn back to it,
and not even a week later bought my own pack.  It didn't take long before I
was smoking regularly."

"Did your Mom ever find out?"

"Not that I know of, at least she never mentioned it.  I didn't smoke while I
was home the next summer, and it was awful.  I couldn't wait to get back to
school.  The next summer I stayed at school to work for a professor, but
mostly so I could smoke.  I continued until the end of my junior year."

"What made you stop?"

"I student taught for the first half of the fall term.  Our advisor met with
us in May to go over a number of things that she wanted us to know when we
went out to teach.  She told those of us who smoked that we shouldn't do it
near our assigned schools or even in the same community.  She said that we
needed to set an example for the high school kids, since we weren't that much
older ourselves.  I was smoking a pack a day at the time, and I decided to
use the summer vacation and the fall student teaching to try and stop
completely.  I smoked my last cigarette on May 23 two years ago; the morning
of my Novel final.  After the exam, I threw away the remaining cigarettes
that I had along with my lighter, packed, and went home for the summer."

"It looks like you made it that time."

"I did, but it was even worse that time than the summer after my freshman
year - the cold sweats and chills at the same time, headaches, my body
shaking and shivering in bed at night, just being really edgy, ..."  Diane's
voice dropped off.   "I covered up for my moody disposition at home by
telling Mom and Dad that I was nervous about the student teaching coming up,
but that really wasn't it."

"How was it when you came back to campus?"

"I guess by then I was over the worst of it.  You never really get over it
completely.  While I was teaching, I confided in one of the guidance
counselors there.  She advised me never to smoke again.  She said that if I
took even a puff, I'd be right back on cigarettes.  She knew someone who was
off them for twelve years and had one cigarette, and that was all it took.
So when I came back to school, I never started again.  I wanted to, but I
fought it.  We met in December, and so you never knew me as a smoker.  I'd
been off cigarettes for over six months by then.  In fact, you being a
nonsmoker helped me.  From the night we met, I knew you were Mister Right.
But I also figured that I'd lose you if I started smoking again.  That's why
I never said anything about it, and that's probably why I never smoked after

 "Wow!  And here I am telling you that I wanted you to smoke!  I feel really
dumb."  Diane kissed Bob again.

"Sweetie, don't feel that way.  It took a lot of courage to tell me what you
told me.  I knew there was something between school and Sayvac, but I never
connected it to the cigarettes.  I will tell you, though.  You aren't the
only guy that likes to watch women smoking.  My roommate and I used to have
cigarettes and coffee in the cafeteria after dinner.  If we saw guys watching
us, we'd do all sorts of fancy inhales.  We'd drive them crazy," she said,

"You'd said that the students in your remedial classes smoke, and I assumed
that it got into your hair."  Diane nodded.

"And in my Thursday meeting, every teacher smokes except me.  But at Sayvac,
I'm in an office with two nonsmokers, so I don't come into contact with it

"I even wondered if you were smoking at school.  But I could never smell it
on your breath."

"No, Sweetie, I wasn't.  I'd never do something like that behind your back.
Oh, there were times when I wished that I was, but I never acted on it."

"Honey, I'll try to do better."

"But I'm still going to come home with a cigarette smell some days and not
others."  Bob said nothing.

"Sweetie, if - and I'm just saying if - I did smoke, would that help you?"

"Honey, I can't ask that of you."

"You haven't answered my question," Diane interjected.

"I know.  I don't know what to say," Bob responded.

"I've got one more thing to tell you if it'll make it any easier.  Lately,
I've had the urge to smoke again.  It started this summer getting ready for
the wedding and being around Mom and Christine and their smoking.  Then when
I took the college job, I was with smokers again.  I didn't like the students
smoking in class, but the department allows it, and they are remedial
students and need it, so I went along with it because being a former smoker
myself I understood their need.  But I've been fighting a battle within
myself, almost as bad as the one two years ago.  As I said, the urge to smoke
never really leaves you once you've been smoking.  I've wanted a cigarette
ever since, but now being married to you, I couldn't risk telling you.  But I
guess now I'm glad I did.  Sweetie, I can smoke for you if you really want me

"Honey, you don't have to," Bob replied.

"But I really feel now that I want to.  In a way, it'd be better for us both
if I did, and I'd even be able to concentrate better."

"Maybe if you wanted to have an occasional cigarette?"  Bob asked.

"Sweetie, for an ex-smoker, there's no such thing as an occasional cigarette.
As soon as I take my first puff, it'll be like I never stopped.  That's what
happened when I went back to school for my sophomore year, and once I start
again, I don't want to go through what I had to go through after my junior
year. I will definitely continue.  But will you be comfortable having a wife
who smokes, especially since you don't?  As much as I want to, I'd feel
self-conscious about smoking around you."

Bob drew a deep breath.  He had one more surprise left.

"Sweetheart, if you really want to smoke, it's all right with me.  But I
still feel that I'm pushing you into it, and I have no right to do that.  I
have an idea."  Diane looked at him quizzically.  "My Dad is a career Marine,
and one thing that he taught me was not to ask someone to do something that
you wouldn't do yourself.  If you could show me how smoke, we can do it
together?"  Now Diane was surprised - actually, shocked!  Fully composed
until now, she stammered.

"Bob, do you know what you'd be getting yourself into?  I mean - you've never
- I don't know what to say ---"  Her voice trailed off.

"I've tried it twice.  Both times it was on a dare.  I remember that burnt
taste you talked about.  But maybe I could get used to it."

Diane, a little more composed, answered.

"I can tell that you didn't inhale.  You don't get that taste when you do.
Inhaling is what makes having a cigarette so relaxing and enjoyable.  But
it's also what gets you on them and unable to stop.  Look at me.  I haven't
touched a cigarette in over two years and now I'm almost jumping out of my
skin at the chance to smoke again."

"That's my point.  If I smoked too, you wouldn't have to feel self-conscious
since we'd both be smoking," Bob countered.

The couple sat on the couch for a few minutes, each thinking over the
situation.  Finally, Diane broke the silence.

"Bob, do you really want to do this?  I'm willing if you are." Bob nodded.

"Let's do it..  It's only a little after four.  We can walk over to the Food
Mart and get some cigarettes."

"I can't believe that I've just agreed to teach my husband to smoke!"

The couple left the apartment.

"What brand did you smoke?"  Bob asked as they walked to the store with arms
around each others' waists.  Diane chuckled.

"Mostly Virginia Slims menthols.  But I don't think you want those.  They're
not exactly for men."

"What brand should we get?"

"I like menthols better.  We could get a pack of Benson-Hedges menthols.
They're almost like Virginia Slims.  But my Dad and Mom both smoke Kent 100s.
I've had them, and they're not bad for a non-menthol cigarette.  We could get
a pack of each, and you can see which ones you like."

"We could get Virginia Slims too."

"That's three, though.  Benson-Hedges are all right for now.  I used to get
them once in a while.  Maybe another time I'll get Virginia Slims."

"What other brands have you tried?" Bob asked.

"Quite a few.  But I always came back to my Virginia Slims menthols.  Now I'm
curious.  You said you'd tried it.  Do you remember the brand?'

"One was a Marlboro.  I never saw what the other one was, but it had a yellow
tip too."

"Ouch.  They're really strong.  I've had them.  The only worse one that I've
had was an unfiltered Pall-Mall.  The ones I'm going to let you try are a lot
milder.  They'll have clean white tips."  Diane reflected. "You know, I
haven't had a cigarette in over two years, but I remember what each brand
tastes like as though it were yesterday."

The couple arrived at the store and walked up to the counter.

"A pack of Benson-Hedges menthols and a pack of Kent 100s, please," Diane
asked the clerk.  The clerk retrieved two packs of cigarettes.


"Yes, thanks,"  Diane answered.  She also picked out a white BIC lighter,
telling Bob, "I used to have one of these."  Bob paid for the items.  Diane
took them and the couple left.  Once outside, Diane opened her purse and
dropped their newly-bought items in, saying, "Just like old times!"

Bob observed, "You knew exactly how to buy them.  You did it like a pro."
Diane laughed

"I've done it enough times.  They have a Food Mart just off campus that I
used to go to.  It looked just like that one on the inside.  I was even
getting them by the carton for a while.  I'd found that I saved money, and
wasn't constantly running out for cigarettes.  Maybe we'll do it that way

Bob was growing excited at the prospect of watching Diane smoke for the first
time.  But he also wondered what it would be like for him.

"I've only tried this a couple of times.  But I'd like to learn to inhale
like you do.  Tell me what to expect."

"You already know how to pull in on it to get the smoke," Diane answered,
"Now if you really want to inhale, I can show you.  But remember what I said.
You can get addicted really fast once you start inhaling."

"That's OK.  If you're going to smoke, I want to do it with you."

"You've essentially never smoked, and I haven't in over two years.  We're
both going to feel dizzy the first few times we inhale.  It's not a bad
feeling - actually, it's kind of pleasant.  But you will feel light-headed.
In fact, maybe I'll go first and get accustomed to it again before I let you
try it."

"Whatever you think best."

"I'll also watch you to make sure you're not overdoing it," Diane assured

The couple arrived at home.  Diane took an ash tray from the cabinet and laid
it on the coffee table.  As they sat on the couch, Diane took the green B&H
pack out of her purse.

"Sweetie, as I said on the way home, I'll have a cigarette by myself first to
get re-accustomed to it.  Then if you still want to, I'll let you have one."
Bob watched as Diane unwrapped the cellophane on the B&H pack and tore the
paper on one side.  She tapped the other side, exposing the tips of four of
the cigarettes.  Bob could feel himself growing excited as Diane slowly
extracted one of the long white cylinders.  She placed it first between the
first two fingers of her left hand and then between her lips.  She flicked
the lighter with her right hand and put the flame up to the tip.  Bob could
see Diane's pretty face shining red through the flame of the lighter.  He
could see the tip of Diane's cigarette glow a bright orange as she pulled in
the smoke into her mouth.  As for Diane, she felt the smoke enter her mouth
for the first time in over two years.  Eager to take in all she could, Diane
removed the B&H from between her lips and inhaled deeply as Bob watched her
chest expand.  She tilted her head slightly backward and slowly exhaled a
long stream of smoke into the air.

Bob had dreamt what it would be like to watch Diane smoke, but this was
better than anything he could have imagined as she shifted her cigarette to
her right hand and took another puff, inhaling the same way.  Through exhaled
smoke, Diane sighed.

"This feels so nice!"  Diane, seeing Bob's facial expression, decided to put
on a real show for him.  She French inhaled the next puff, letting out a
slight wisp of smoke.  She also exhaled a couple of puffs through her nose.
Bob could hardly contain himself as she saw the two jets of smoke coming from
Diane's nose and a third from her lips at the same time.  He put one arm
around her shoulders and the other around her waist, and gave her a
passionate kiss.  He could taste the menthol on Diane's lips.  Diane finished
her cigarette in Bob's arms.  She tried to be careful not to blow her exhaled
smoke directly at him.

"Can we go to the bedroom?" Bob asked as Diane put her cigarette out.

"I feel kind of light-headed.  But sure - let's go."

They went to the bedroom and Bob put on his best performance ever.

"That was really nice," said Diane, almost out of breath, as they were locked
in embrace after making love.

"The cigarette or me?"

"Both!  I never realized how much I missed smoking a cigarette.  And if my
smoking can make this much of a difference for you, then I want to!"

"I'll be joining you soon."

"Sweetie, are you really sure you want to do this?"  Bob stroked Diane's long
dark hair.

"Honey, you smoked a cigarette for me for the first time in a long time,
knowing that it would probably get you started again, right?"

"And it did.  I'm already looking forward to the next one.  But Sweetie, it's
OK.  I enjoy smoking.  I did before, and now I will again.  But I don't want
you to feel that you have to do it with me."

"I want to.  If you like it that much, I can learn to like it too." Smiling,
he added, "Will you show me how to let the smoke out my nose like you did?"

 "Sweetheart, let's take it slow in the beginning," Diane, a little more
serious, answered.  "I'll show you the basics.  It'll probably take a few
cigarettes for you to get over the light-headedness.  Then we'll see how
things go from there.  I'm also not going to let you have too many in the
beginning.  I'll let you have one every three hours or so, then if you adapt
to it, you can increase it as you feel comfortable."

"When you smoked before, you said it was about a pack a day, right?"

"When I stopped, I was smoking a cigarette about every hour or so.  That was
about right for me.  I tried not to go over a pack a day.  It was hard around
exam time.  I recall chain-smoking several cigarettes while I was studying.
I'd just reach for them unconsciously and smoke.  I'd feel kind of nauseous
afterward and that would be my clue that I overdid it - that plus an ash tray
full of cigarette butts.  So you have to do whatever your body tells you."

"My body?"  Bob asked.

"After a while, it'll tell you when it's time for another cigarette.  Once
you get used to smoking, sometimes it'll scream at you.  That's when you get
headaches, chills, you name it.  That's what I went through during those
summers at home.  It all goes away as soon as you've had a few puffs.
Sometimes, it'll happen at inopportune times, and you'll have to go somewhere
else to smoke.  Once you start, your life will be very different.  Sometimes
I even planned what I was going to do on a particular day around where and
when I could have a cigarette.  That's why, even though you told me that you
want to learn to smoke, I still keep asking you.  I want to be absolutely
sure before I let you because once you smoke the first cigarette; there may
be no turning back.  I want you to realize that."

"I understand, but I really want to join you.  When can we get started?"

"I could go for another one right now.  If you want, let's go out to the
kitchen.  I'll put on some coffee.  After you have your first cigarette, your
mouth will be dry and you'll probably want something to drink anyway."  The
couple went to the kitchen.  Diane got another ash tray from the cabinet.  "I
should put one in the bedroom too.  One thing I always liked was lighting a
cigarette as soon as I got out of bed and smoking it while I got dressed.
There was always something special about the first cigarette in the morning.
Which one would you like to try?"

"The green pack is already opened, and you said you like them better.  Let's
have one of those."  Diane went to the coffee table and got the B&H pack and
the lighter.

Diane sat at the table and took out two cigarettes.

"Let me light them," she advised.  "It's a little tricky when you've never
done it before."

"I remember.  One of the times I couldn't get it lit.  Someone did it for me
and then I only took two puffs."

"That may be all you want this time too, but that's OK.  I'll only take you
as far as you want to go."

Diane held both cigarettes in her left hand.

"Now Honey, if you change your mind and don't want to do this, even after I
light them, don't - OK?"

"I've come this far.  I won't change my mind."  She placed both cigarettes
between her lips and flicked her lighter.  First one then the other came to
life.  She removed both, inhaled and exhaled in a stream as Bob watched.
Then Diane took one into her right hand and extended it to Bob, who accepted
it.  Diane moved the other to her right hand.

"OK.  You still want to?" Diane asked Bob, who nodded.  Diane put her left
hand over Bob's.

"Pull in just a little bit.  Then breathe in and blow out, like this." She
took a puff and, with her mouth open so Bob could see, inhaled.

"My turn!" Bob remarked after she blew out the smoke.

"Light puff," Diane cautioned.  He placed his B&H between his lips and pulled
slightly. He could feel smoke entering his mouth, and he could taste the
menthol.  He tried to breathe in, but he had opened his mouth amd let the
smoke escape before he could breathe in.

"Sorry," he told Diane.

"That's OK, Sweetie.  I had trouble my first time - everyone does."

"I did taste the menthol," Bob answered, "It has a mint taste.  But there is
that burning taste that I had before."

"Try again, Sweetie," Diane replied.  "This time, breathe in right away.
Watch me."  She took another puff, momentarily closing her mouth and then
re-opening it slightly, enough to take a breath.  "Take just a little," Diane
cautioned.  Bob again raised his cigarette to his lips and pulled.  This
time, Bob was able to inhale.  He blew his inhaled smoke out forcibly and
coughed slightly.

"Are you OK?" Diane asked.  Bob nodded

"Just clearing my throat!" Bob added.

"Now, do what you just did," Diane instructed, "but wait a bit between puffs.
Just take light puffs for now until you're used to it.  You will start to
feel a little light-headed.   That's normal for the first few times.  That's
the nicotine going through your body to your brain."  She took another puff
of her cigarette, as did Bob.  He managed to inhale and exhale without
coughing. He kept his mouth open and blew his smoke out in a ball.  "You're
doing fine."

"I am starting to feel it," Bob replied.

"OK.  If you start to feel nauseous, though, tell me and we'll stop."

"No, I'm OK.  Just dizzy."

As Bob took four more puffs of his cigarette, Diane, taking much deeper
puffs, finished hers first.  Bob had smoked about two-thirds of his, and felt
increasingly light-headed.  Diane put her cigarette out and reached for

"Honey, let's not do too much the first time, OK?"  Bob handed his cigarette
to Diane, who finished it with two more puffs and put it out.  Bob watched
his wife smoke, noticing how good she was at it.  He felt excited, but a
little loopy.  Diane got up, gave him a kiss

"I'll get us that coffee now," said Diane.  As she poured the coffee and sat,
she asked Bob, "So how was your first whole cigarette?"

"Actually, not bad.  I'm still feeling the effects.  My chest is a little
tight, and I have the mint aftertaste.  I don't sense the burning taste,

"You did really well," Diane said, smiling.

"I had a good teacher,"  Bob replied, "It actually felt kind of nice.  I felt
sort of a tingle at the back of my neck.  It seemed to go through my whole
body.  Then I began to feel light-headed."

"That's the nicotine.  It's what makes smoking relaxing.  As you have more
and your body gets accustomed to it, you won't feel it as much."

"One thing I noticed.  I thought the smoke would be hot.  But it tasted cool
- almost cold."

"That's the menthol taste," Diane answered, "If you have a Kent, you won't
taste that."

"Speaking of which ..... When can we do this again?"  Diane took Bob's hand.

"Sweetie, let's wait a while.  If you overdo it in the beginning, you may get
nauseous.  Nicotine is pretty powerful, and your body isn't quite used to it.
I'm a veteran at it.  Don't try to keep up with me in the beginning.  If
you're really intent on learning to smoke, I don't want it to be a bad
experience for you.  As I said, we'll take it slowly and get you used to it
gradually.  You'll get there soon enough!"  She considered for a moment, and
then looked up.  "I'll tell you what.  I guess I should be putting dinner on
about now anyway.  Now that I'm back to smoking, I'm sure that I'll have a
cigarette after dinner.  I won't let you join me on that one, though.  Let's
wait about an hour after that."  Bob looked at the clock and did a quick

"7:30 or 8," Bob answered, "It's a date."  The couple finished their coffee.

Diane took some lasagna out of the refrigerator and heated it up.  The couple
ate their meal, and after dinner, true to her word, Diane lit a cigarette as
they had coffee.

"Honey, could you come and sit on my lap?"  Bob asked.  Diane said sure and
moved over to sit on Bob's lap.  As Bob put his arms around her, Diane
continued to puff on her cigarette.  Bob kissed the back of Diane's neck as
she smoked.

"This really turns you on, doesn't it?" Diane asked.

"Mmmmm," Bob answered.

After Diane finished her cigarette, Bob helped her clear off the kitchen
table.  Diane sat at the table and began planning what to buy at the
supermarket the next day.  She normally shopped on Saturday.  Bob turned on
the TV to catch the news.  About halfway through, Diane reached for the green

"Can I have one too?"  Bob asked.

"Sure.  Come on over."  Bob came over to the table.

"I'd like to try lighting one," Bob requested.

"Want to light mine too?"  Diane asked, her unlit cigarette in her right

Bob took a B&H out of the pack and flicked the lighter.

"Just touch the flame to the tip,"  Diane instructed.  Bob gave Diane a
perfect light.  He then raised his to his lips.  Holding it with his left
hand, he lit it as Diane instructed.

"I forgot to inhale!"  Bob exclaimed as he blew out the smoke. He also
noticed that his cigarette was only burning on one side.

"Honey," Diane instructed, "turn it around and take a puff."  Bob turned his
so that the burning side was down and took a puff, this time inhaling.  He
followed with another puff.  The tingle and the feeling of light-headedness
returned as the cigarette began to burn more evenly.

"Honey, how do you blow your smoke out in a stream the way you do?" Bob

"Just make an 'o' with your lips as you exhale, like this." Diane took a
puff, demonstrating the exhale.  Bob took a puff, and made the 'o'.  A stream
came out; not as dense as Diane's, but it was there.

"You did it," Diane said with a tone of excitement, "You may be a natural at
this!"  Bob smiled as Diane asked, "Are you feeling anything now?"

"A little light-headed."

"I think I'm going to like smoking with you,"  Bob commented after another

"I have to admit that I wasn't so sure about showing you how to do this.  But
it's kind of pleasant.  I would have felt self-conscious about smoking when
you don't.  But I'm going to enjoy our having cigarettes together"

Bob asked Diane, "I'm curious.  What if I'd been a smoker all along?"

"I'd have started again."  

Bob took a slightly deeper puff, blowing out his smoke in a stream.  

Diane watched him carefully as he smoked.  As before, she finished hers

After they finished, Diane recalled,

"There's a movie on at 8," Diane recalled after they finished their
cigarettes.  "Want to watch it together?"  Bob said OK.  The couple went over
to the couch.   Diane emptied the ash tray and took the smoking materials
with her to the living room.

After Bob changed the channel, Diane set the cigarettes on the coffee table
and the couple sat embraced on the couch.

"Sweetie, would you mind if I had a cigarette?"  Diane asked after about a

"I'll join you."

"Maybe you should wait a while.  You know, you're not used to it the way I

Diane lit her cigarette and, in Bob's arms, took a deep puff.

"Can I have a puff?"  Bob asked.  Diane held her cigarette up to Bob's lips
and he took a puff, inhaling.  His exhaled smoke traveled over the table.

"Want another one?"  Diane asked after taking another puff.

"Sure," Bob replied and Diane again held the cigarette so that Bob could take
a puff.

"Maybe that's enough for now,"  Diane suggested.  She finished the cigarette
while nuzzled under Bob's arm.

"I wouldn't mind trying one of the Kents."

"How about after the movie?"

The couple continued watching the movie.  Diane smoked another cigarette
about an hour later and gave Bob a couple of puffs.

"Let's have coffee and cigarettes,"  Diane suggested after the movie.  Bob
agreed.  Diane poured the coffee as Bob reached for the white Kent pack.  He
opened the pack, tapped the unopened side as Diane had done and withdrew a
cigarette.  He turned the pack toward Diane, who accepted one.  Bob picked up
the lighter, flicked it and held it to Diane, who accepted a light.

"I've never had a guy light my cigarettes," Diane said after her first puff,
"I like it."  Bob then lit his Kent.  This time, he got an even light.  He
noticed the absence of the menthol taste.

"It's OK, though.  I think I'm getting the hang of it.  It feels relaxing."

"That's how it's supposed to feel."

"Are you feeling dizzy?"  Diane asked as the couple smoked their Kents.

"Just a little.  I actually don't mind these.  They don't seem as strong as
the menthols."

"I wanted to pick a mild brand for you.  I notice that you're taking deeper
puffs.  It's OK as long as you can handle it."  Bob felt only slightly dizzy
as he finished the entire cigarette.

The couple went to the bedroom and made love.

"Sweetie, mind if I smoke?"  Diane asked.

"I'll get them."

"Thanks.  Get the menthols."  Bob went to the kitchen and got the materials,
bringing them into the bedroom.  When he returned, Diane was sitting at the
side of the bed.

"I'd better not smoke in bed," Diane explained, "I don't want to set the
place on fire."

"How many have you had?"  Bob asked as he lit her cigarette.

"I don't really know.  I just reach whenever I want one.  Want a puff?"  Bob
took a puff of Diane's cigarette as she held it.

"You know, I actually think I like the Kents a little better."

"Really?  I've always liked menthols."

Diane finished her cigarette and the couple snuggled in bed.

"I can taste the cigarette on your lips," Bob mentioned as they kissed, "I
like it."  The couple snuggled for about a half hour.

"We'd better get some sleep," Diane said.

"What's on for tomorrow?"

"Just grocery shopping.  I have to get ready for class on Monday too." After
a couple of more minutes, they fell asleep.

At about 7 Bob woke up.  He still had an aftertaste from the cigarettes he
had smoked the evening before.  Diane woke up at about the same time.  "Want
pancakes for breakfast?"  Diane asked.  Bob nodded.  The couple got up and
Diane put on her bathrobe.  Instinctively, she lit a cigarette and carried it
to the kitchen, puffing on it as she walked.  Bob took the smoking materials.
As she stood by the table taking a puff, Bob put his arms around her waist,
standing in back of her and kissed the back of her neck as he'd done the
night before.  Diane held his hands with her left hand and her cigarette with
her right.

"I'd better get the cakes on," Diane said when she finished her cigarette and
put it out.

As Diane worked, Bob sat at the table.  He took a Kent from the pack and lit
it.  Diane watched as Bob smoked his Kent.

"This is your first one by yourself," Diane noted.

"I guess I'm still practicing."  Diane answered as she watched Bob exhale a
stream of smoke,

"Sweetie, you're not practicing," Diane answered as she watched Bob exhale a
stream of smoke, "You're taught!"

"It still feels a little strange having a cigarette in my hand."

"You'll get used to it.  Even after more than two years of not smoking, it
feels natural for me."  Then laughing, she added, "I still don't know how I
made it that long!"

"Are you going to continue to smoke?" Bob asked Diane as she served the

"I'm there!" Diane said, nodding. As they ate, she added, "I'm going to pick
up a carton of Virginia Slims menthols when I go shopping this morning.
They're my old brand.  Do you know yet what you're going to do?"

"I'm going to continue. Not Virginia Slims, though.  I'm sort of leaning
toward Kent.  The menthol is all right, but as you said, it's how it makes
you feel.  The Kents feel right.  I don't think I'm ready for a carton just
yet, though."

After breakfast, Diane reached for a B&H.  Bob took a Kent.  He lit first
Diane's cigarette, then his.

"You know," Diane reflected, "I'll probably smoke at school.  It's going to
be harder being around smokers unless I smoke too.  They know me as a
non-smoker, and I remember the stares that I got from high school friends who
were in college with me after I started smoking.  I wonder how they'll react
at school when I take out a cigarette."

"We've only been here a month.  Just say that we stopped smoking before the
wedding, but we started again.  We tried to quit, but we couldn't.  That's
partly true - you are a relapsed ex-smoker.  You just don't have to tell them
that it's been more than two years!"

"Are you going to smoke at Sayvac?"

"Probably," Diane answered through exhaled smoke, "If I get back to where I
was, I don't think I could go a whole work day without a cigarette.  But my
office mates are nonsmokers, so I'll probably go out in the hall.  How about

"I'm not so sure about smoking in public yet.  I'm just getting started at

"You're getting good at it, though.  No one will know that you'd just started
smoking.  I like your idea about saying that we relapsed.  You can say the
same thing."

"You mentioned not being able to go without a cigarette.  What happens?"

"You don't want to know!" Diane took a puff of her cigarette and answered,
"It's called a craving.  Remember yesterday afternoon when I told you about
when I stopped before?"

"Oh - the headache, shivering ..."

"As I said then, your whole body screams at you.  That's why I knew that once
I started again, it'd be for keeps."  Bob thought a minute.

"What are we going to do when we visit our families?"

"We'll keep our cigarettes in the car, and I'll have some loose ones in the
zipped area of my purse where they can't be seen.  I'll keep some mints in my
purse too.  We'll go for walks or run errands when we need to."

The couple showered and got dressed to go shopping.  Before they left, they
had another cup of coffee and cigarette together.

"There's one more thing you can show me,"  Bob said after they lit their

"What's that?"

"The way you let the smoke out your nose."

"Oh it's easy.  Just don't open your mouth when you exhale.  Watch." Diane
took a puff, inhaled and as she exhaled, two streams of smoke came through
her nostrils.  "You try it."  Bob took a puff on his and successfully copied
Diane's exhale.

"Don't try this for a while," Diane added, "but you can do a couple in a
row."  Bob watched as Diane placed her cigarette between her lips, pulled in,
exhaled and then, while exhaling through her nose, pulled in again, inhaled
and then exhaled through her nose while pulling again, finally ending with a
deep inhale and a combined nose-mouth exhale.

"Wow!" Bob exclaimed.

"That'll give you quite a dose of nicotine, so wait until you're used to
smoking.  I used to do that after a long exam when I couldn't have a
cigarette for a few hours."  Thinking back to their earlier conversation, she
added, "It may come in handy on our walks during family visits."

The couple finished their cigarettes and drove to the market for their weekly

"Want me to do the honors?" Bob asked as they passed the tobacco counter at
the market. He went to the counter and asked for "Two packs of Kents."

"King or 100s?" the clerk asked.

"100s, and a carton of Virginia Slims
menthol 100s," Bob replied, recalling Diane's purchase. He also chose another
lighter, this one for himself.  He paid for the items and rejoined Diane at
the checkout.  He explained that he wasn't aware that they came in different

"The Kents do," Diane answered, "Virginia Slims just come in 100s."

They walked to the car.  Bob placed the groceries in the back seat.

"Can I see the cigarettes?" Diane asked.  Bob gave her the bag and Diane
opened the end of the carton and took a pack of her Virginia Slims out.

"I've been looking forward to having one of these," Diane said, "Mind if I
have one now?"

"Of course not."  Diane got into the front seat and opened the pack.  As Bob
got into the driver's seat, Diane had already taken a cigarette out.

"We'd better open the windows a little," Diane advised.  As Bob turned on the
ignition, Diane lit the cigarette.  They turned on the vent and rolled down
their windows about a fourth of the way.  Diane pulled open the ash tray.

"I'd have one too," Bob said, "but I'd be afraid of crashing the car!"

"I smoked while driving several times.  It's nice, especially since driving
can be nerve-wracking sometimes.  Puffing on a cigarette really helps then.
By the way, red lights are good for lighting cigarettes."  As she finished
her cigarette, she commented, "I like these Virginia Slims the best.  They'll
be my brand from now on."

Once home, Diane lit another VS and smoked it as she put the groceries away.
Bob lit a Kent almost immediately.  Throughout Saturday, Bob smoked six
cigarettes and Diane fourteen.  Bob was no longer feeling dizzy, and he was
starting to like the relaxing effects of smoking a cigarette.   For Diane, as
she predicted, it was as though she'd never stopped.

"Could I try just one of those?" Bob asked before bed that night as Diane
reached for one of her Virginia Slims.  Diane said sure and extended the pack
to Bob.  Bob took a VS and lit it.

"They're OK," Bob commented after a couple of puffs.  "They're not quite as
strong as the Benson-Hedges."

"You've only been smoking for a day and you can tell?  I'm impressed!"

"As I said, I had a good teacher."

"It really floored me when you said that you wanted to learn how to smoke."

"I guess after I confessed my pre-occupation to you and you said that you'd
do it, I didn't want you to do it alone."

"As I said, I'd wanted to go back to it anyway.  But with you being a
non-smoker, I was always afraid to tell you about my smoking past."

"And I was always hoping you'd smoke.  But I never would have guessed that
you were a former smoker.  I was surprised that you did it for me so
willingly, knowing that you'd go back to smoking again."

"I never thought I would go back to it," Diane reflected, "especially after I
accepted your marriage proposal.  But the irony is that I not only went back
to it, I brought you along.  I never taught anyone how to smoke before, much
less my life's partner!"

Bob was finished with the VS and put it out.  He then reached for a Kent

"Do you think this is too much?" Bob asked.

"If you can do it, go ahead.  I'll have another one with you." As Bob lit his
Kent, Diane took another of hers and lit it with the tip of the one she'd

"I may be able to have them more often than every three hours as you had me
do," Bob told Diane,  "I'm not feeling dizzy - just relaxed.  I think I've
mastered it."

"I think you have too.  Have one whenever you want one.  It appears that
you've graduated with honors from Diane's smoking school!"

On Sunday, Bob smoked ten cigarettes.  The couple finished what was left of
the Benson-Hedges and Bob continued with Kents.  Diane finished the first
pack of her Virginia Slims and got well into her second.  On Monday morning,
Diane dropped her cigarettes and lighter into her purse and left for school.
Bob watched her light a cigarette as she started the car and drove off.  He
returned to the kitchen, put his Kent pack and lighter in his shirt pocket,
and left as well.  He, too, had a cigarette in the car as he drove to work.

Robert and Diane Porter were now confirmed, regular smokers.  By the end of
the week, Bob had picked up his first carton of Kent 100s and Diane was
almost through her Virginia Slims and was smoking Kents as well.  Bob got
over his concerns about public smoking, covering himself with the "relapse
story" as Diane called it; she used the same story.  The following week, Bob
bought two cartons, one for himself and one for Diane.  After that, he
routinely replenished their supply.  He would get a carton of Kent 100s for
himself, but he especially liked buying a carton of Virginia Slims menthols,
knowing that they were Diane's cigarettes. As for his pre-occupation, while
he came to enjoy smoking himself, even months later he still got his biggest
thrill out of watching his wife smoke.

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