Dr. Blacklung, I Presume?, Part 23 | |
Index by date |
Index by author |
Index by subject Smoking From All Sides ( Glamor - Pics | Female Celebrity Smoking List ) [ Printer friendly version ] Jump to part: Intro 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 | |
|
Dr. Blacklung, I Presume By: slimv ------------------------------- Chapter 23: Life Goes On ------------------------------- Bill put his arm around Margie as he searched for words that would console them both. It was only now that he realized every thought that entered his head was a cliche. She's in a better place now. She's feeling no pain. She was too good for this world. Death was not original and neither were the words that described it and tried to makes sense of it but he used them anyway. And each time he recited a cliche, Margie would nod her head and take another puff from her cigarette. "It's all my fault", she said as the smoke from her cigarette punctuated her syllables. "If I'd given up smoking when I was pregnant this never would have happened. She never would have started sm oking if she hadn't seen me do it." "No Honey, this wasn't your fault. Don't blame your self for something you have no control over. You tried to quit. I was there. I saw how hard you tried. I was there when the doctor told you it was hopeless. I was there when the doctor told Katie it was hopeless. Neither of you were ever capable of quitting. You know it doesn't work that way. Don't blame the cigarettes and don't blame your self". Margie turned to look at her husband. Her eyes were swollen with grief. Tears ran down her cheeks like rivers. "You don't think she blames me"? "Of course not", said Bill. "How could she blame you for allowing her to do the one thing that gave her so much pleasure and joy? You know how much she loved her cigarettes". He paused his thought and smiled. "What's so funny", she asked. Bill crossed his legs and pulled Margie closer to him as if it would help her share his reflection. "I was just thinking about when we gave her perm ission to smoke. She was 11. Remember how happy she was? She asked if it meant she was a grown-up like you". "What did I say", sniffed Margie. "You told her she was. You told her that smoking was an adult habit and from then on she was an adult. I'll never forget it. She was so cute. I remember her pointing her cigarette at me and telling me never to start smoking. It was like she grew up in that moment, right in front of me. She was so responsible". Margie smiled as she remembered her husband's memories of their daughter. "She was something special, wasn't she"? ---------------------------- "Give me two packs of cigarettes", said Jim to the clerk behind the counter. "What kind"? "I don't know. My wife didn't tell me. She just told me to go out and get cigarettes. Do you think it matters what kind"? "Well Duh, yeah", said the clerk. Jim Benson was a man who didn't appreciate insolence, especially from kids. And the girl behind the counter was no mor e than 18. But she was smoking and that changed every thing. He wasn't angry with her. He was angry with him self for giving into his weakness. That's why he had surrounded him self in the church- a place where few people smoked. If they did smoke, they hid it because they were ashamed. But this child wasn't ashamed. She smoked ambitiously. And that changed every thing. She had power over him and he mustered the little pride he had left and tried to act like an adult himself. He wouldn't be cowed by her. "What brand do you smoke"? Without answering she he held a red pack of Marlboros up for him to see and made a face that made him wince. "I'll take two packs of those", he said. ------------------------------- Dr. Ben Avery leaned back in his chair with his feet on the desk as he held the phone to his ear. He gazed at the jars of lung tissue soaking in formaldehyde as his friend at the coroner's office told him about the morgue's newest guest.' "Of course I want her lungs. I would have been devastated if you hadn't asked me first. When are you doing the autopsy? Uh huh. I've got appointments but I can reschedule. I want to be there for this. Don't worry about the money. Nothing has changed. Our arrangement is the same as always. I'll bring the cash with me". ------------------------------- He had come to her seeking comfort. And she had promised to ease his pain, saying every thing would all right. She told him Katie was in a better place and that she would have wanted him to go on living. Life is for the living she said. She told him to relax, so he did. He did everything his mom told him to do. She told him to take off his pants. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper. He squirmed to get out of them and she helped by pulling on the pants legs. The Montecristo she was smoking smelled so different than any other cigar he'd ever smelled. He found nothing offensive about the aroma. It was c omforting. He breathed her exhales the way he had breathed Katie's. His cheeks felt the pressure of her soft lips. She started at his ears and worked her way to his lips. He closed his eyes their lips touched. He felt the tip of her tongue as it knocked against his locked lips begging for him to open them. He answered the call and received her. She tasted like Katie, only different. The flavor of her saliva, as it mixed with his, was richer, more harsh but extremely pleasant. He listened as she told him how much she loved him. He loved her too. It felt good to be loved. |
Previous part | Next part | |
Index by date |
Index by author |
Index by subject Smoking From All Sides ( Glamor - Pics | Female Celebrity Smoking List ) [ Printer friendly version ] Contact webmaster | |
Processing took 0.00195 seconds
|