Eileen's Story - original

(by anonymous1, 01 October 1995)


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Date: 01 Oct 95 15:19:48 EDT
Subject: Eileen's Story


Eileen's Story

This is a true story about my special friend Eileen, an attractive, intelligent
young woman, and her emergence and development as a smoker.

Eileen's story begins in 1982. First, a little about me. I was 21 at the time,
in my second year at a small college in the northeast as a commuter student,
preparing to transfer to a major university at the end of the school year to
pursue a degree in business management. I was of average height and weight,
handsome and with a variety of interests.  One of those interests was smoking
cigarettes.  I had been a 1/2-to-1 pack-a-day smoker for about 6 years, having
first tried smoking at age 14.  I was not so much a nicotine addict at the time,
but just a young person who truly enjoyed smoking cigarettes.  I was also aware
of the fact that my desire to smoke was predicated by years of watching (and
becoming excited) by attractive females of all ages smoking cigarettes.  I was
aware of my own  image as a "light" smoker, and I enjoyed smoking, even more so
when in the company of others, though I often took care not to indulge in the
presence of non-smokers.

Now, back to Eileen. I had first noticed Eileen in two English classes we were
both taking. She was also 21, attractive, thin, with an enticing smile, but her
most striking feature was her long, sandy-brown hair which hung down her back
below her waist. After a few weeks of saying hello to each other as we entered
the classroom or while passing each other on campus, we began talking before,
during and after classes and becoming friendly.  As we got to know one another,
it became apparent that we shared many interests and enjoyed each other's
company.  All of our interaction up to this point had been in and around the
classroom, however, and I was beginning to feel attracted to Eileen, and sensed
that she shared this attraction.  I decided to take things slowly and just let
things happen, knowing that with each day, I was becoming more and more
interested in her. 

After another week or two, Eileen began to confide in me certain feelings and
difficulties she was experiencing.  I took this as a positive sign in that she
felt this close and this comfortable with me to share her personal life. Eileen
explained to me that she lived at home with her mother, father, and a younger
sister, and that although there were no real problems, life with the family was
causing her certain stress and strain.  She seemed to be very devoted to her
family, often stating that "nothing comes before them," but that her parents,
particularly her mother, was a bit overbearing and overprotective, and that as a
21 year old woman, is was restricting her, both academically as well as
socially.  I initially took this as simply case of a young person in need of
their own space, but was soon informed by Eileen that her mother and father each
suffered from a variety of physical ailments and that because of this, she had
much more than her share of responsibility around the house.  She explained that
this was the main reason she was attending this college, as it afforded her the
opportunity to live close to home.  I tried to be supportive in my response,
saying that it took a very strong and special person to make some the sacrifices
she was making in order to, in effect, "take care" of her family.

Later that day after one of our classes, I asked Eileen to join me for some
lunch at the student center.  After we grabbed some food from the cafeteria, we
began walking to the large open part of the building where students could sit at
a table to eat, study and socialize.  I instinctively headed for the smoking
area.  Over the past weeks and the development of our friendship, I wondered if
Eileen was a smoker, but as all of our time together up to this point was spent
in classrooms, I never had an opportunity to "probe" the subject, nor did I
expose myself as a smoker to her.

Suddenly, Eileen said in an alarmed tone, "Wait a second. We are heading into
the smoking area." Instantly  I thought that this would be the first chance to
"probe" Eileen's feelings about smoking and to reveal that I smoked.  I also
thought, particularly from the tone of her question,  if she is a non-smoker,
how will she react to learning that I smoke?  Would this be a problem?  Would it
damage my friendship with her, not to mention my chances at a more intimate
relationship with her?  What if she was one of those anti-smoking types? Etc.,
etc., etc..  I answered with a return question, "Oh, I thought you smoke.....I
don't you?"
 Eileen answered with a sharp, fast, emphatic "NO!!..... do you?"  Thinking
quickly, I responded, "Oh, yes, sometimes, I mean....not that much....but if you
don't, let's sit in the non-smoking area."

With that, we found a small table in the non-smoking area, ate our lunch, talked
about school, current events, and other subjects.  After a short time, the
conversation reverted back to Eileen's family and her home life.  Although it
was Friday, she stated that she wasn't looking forward to the weekend because
she had lots of school work, as well as a full schedule of family chores.  As we
continued our chat, I asked Eileen if she would like to have dinner with me that
evening.  Her faced brightened with the invitation and she answered with "I was
wondering when you were going to break the routine and ask me for a date."
Almost shyly, I responded that things between us were developing so nicely, that
I was enjoying it, and that I was resolved to just let things happen.  Eileen
agreed and admitted that she was doing likewise.  She thanked me for letting her
cry on my shoulder about her life at home, and we made plans for that evening.
I would pick her up at her house, meet her family, and we would set off for an
evening of dinner, drinks, and "whatever".

As we were walking out of the student center, Eileen said rather abruptly, "So,
your a smoker, are you?"  So pleased  was I with my progress with Eileen that
afternoon, the subject of smoking had been forgotten, although throughout our
lengthy discussion, I had a brief urge or two for a cigarette.  Taken a little
off guard by her question, I decided to answer her honestly. "Yes, Eileen, I
smoke. Not that much, but I do smoke. I hope that is not going to be a problem
with you."  Eileen sighed slightly, looked aside, and confessed, "I really don't
like smoking, actually I really hate it." She continued,  saying that she had
never even dated a smoker, "but in that we had been sitting here for 2 hours and
you didn't smoke, I guess that I can deal with it on occasion as long as it is
not constant."  I asked Eileen if she had any friends or family that smoked.
"Some of my friends smoke, but not much around me."  "My family," she offered,
"nobody in my house smokes, my mother wouldn't let a smoker even enter our
house, although I do have a married  older sister who lives out of state that is
a smoker."  Eileen said that when the family gets together with her older sister
and her husband, the issue of smoking is ignored as her sister keeps her smoking
away from the family.  I asked Eileen if she had ever smoked or had ever tried
smoking a cigarette.  She replied that she had tried it a couple of times while
out drinking with her girlfriends, and that she thought it tasted horrible. She
said she never inhaled, and didn't have any interest in smoking and never wanted
to.  She concluded with asking me that I promise to not only never smoke in
front of her family, but to not even allow them to know that I was a smoker.  I
agreed.

Of course, by now, all this talk of smoking had me really ready for a cigarette.
I stopped and said "Speaking of smoking...." and took my pack of Benson & Hedges
Menthol Light 100's and lighter from my jacket pocket.  I figured this was as
good a time as any for Eileen to see me smoke a cigarette.  Pulling a cigarette
from the pack, I lit up and very consciously took a long, leisurely drag.
Eileen gave a sarcastic smile as she watched me light up.  I opened my mouth
just slightly to expose the ball of thick, white smoke in my mouth, then
casually inhaled.  I noticed that Eileen continued to watch me, almost with a
curiosity.  I  very deliberately turned my head to the side, giving her a
profile view as I blew out the smoke through a combination of casual and
leisurely mouth and nasal exhales.  Eileen was still  focused on me, and
continued that half-fake little smile as I completed my exhale.  As we walked
further across campus toward our respective next classes, I smoked the rest of
my B&H Light leisurely, all the while aware that Eileen was pausing her speech
and slowing her walk to watch me with each drag, each inhale, and each exhale of
that cigarette.  I guess I put on a real good show for her, as I was intent on
having her observe how much pleasure that cigarette gave me, so that she would
except my smoking and not make an issue of it as our friendship continued to
develop.  But her attention to my smoking had also aroused  my curiosity about
the severity and sincerity of the negative comments and perceptions she had just
related towards her opinions about smoking.

That evening, I drove to Eileen's house. She lived in an average middle class
neighborhood, and her house was equally as typical.  Introduced to her family as
"her friend from school," I tried in the short time I was in her house to
observe for myself someof the situations that Eileen had told me about earlier
that day.  I only noticed that both her mother and father were middle-aged,
cordial and polite. Her mother spoke often and was very inquisitive as to where
we were going to dinner.  After telling her where we would be going, Eileen's
mom commented that "it's nice Eileen is getting a little break," and that the
family didn't eat out much as it was difficult for her to get out much due to
the fact that she suffered from severe arthritis.  As we were leaving, I could
see somewhat what life was like for Eileen there, not bad, but she had more
responsibility than most college students having to be around to help out with
her folks and her sister.

Eileen and I proceeded to the restaurant, had a great dinner, and went over to
the bar for a few drinks.  I had not smoked during dinner, so naturally, I lit
up a cigarette as we settled down around a small table in the corner of the bar.
Eileen didn't even flinch as I smoked, but once again I noticed her attention to
the details of my smoking.  After awhile, we left the restaurant and I proceeded
to drive towards Eileen's neighborhood.  "Where are we going," she asked.  "I
guess back to your house," I answered.  "Oh no, let's not go there right yet,"
she replied, and then led my to a mall parking lot close to her house.  We sat
in the car and talked for a while. I asked if she would mind if I smoked a
cigarette. She said, "is that all you want to put in your mouth right now?"  I
responded with a laugh, saying "no, not really," and explained that as I was a
little nervous about what was to follow as I had not been intimate with a girl
for over a year, and a cigarette would relax me and actually add to the
"feeling" at hand.  Eileen asked me what I meant by how smoking would "add to
the feeling at hand."  I replied that "unless you are a smoker, you couldn't
understand."  I went on to explain, as I lit up, that ever since I was a young
teenager, I had often associated smoking with feelings of sexual arousal.  She
asked me to explain further, so I continued.

I told her that I became interested in trying smoking around the time that I
experienced by first sexual sensations around the age of 12 or 13.  At that age,
I was far more comfortable with trying things  that were sexual (i.e.
masturbation, spin-the-bottle, making out, etc.) than  I was about trying
smoking, in that I was taught that it was normal and OK to feel the way I was
feeling about girls and sexual stuff, but that it was bad and wrong to smoke.
Eileen playfully asked me when was the first time I kissed a girl?  "I think I
was 12," I answered, as I exhaled a deep puff from my B&H Menthol Light.  "When
was the first time you made love to a girl?"  she next asked.  "I was 16,"  I
said.  "How old were you when you tried smoking," she asked.  Taking my last
puff from my B&H, I explained to Eileen as I exhaled my smoke that one day when
I was 14, my next door neighbor Karen (an 18 year old beauty who I secretly
admired and desired) asked me to help her move a piece of furniture in her
house.  After helping her, she offered me her thanks and a soda.  As we sat in
the kitchen talking (about her getting ready to go to college and me getting
ready to go to high school), she reached into her pocket book and pulled out a
pack of Salem 100s.  

I went on, in detail to tell Eileen of  how I felt when Karen pulled a cigarette
from her pack and lit up. "I was already excited about being alone with this
'older woman', but I went through the roof when she lit up that cigarette."
Eileen looked almost amazed, and said "I don't understand."  I explained how the
long, white cigarette made Karen appear more elegant and sexual to me, and that
watching her inhale and exhale the smoke with such enjoyment made me lose it my
shorts.  I also explained to Eileen how I realized that right there at that
moment, I had a perfect opportunity to try smoking.  I explained how I prodded
Karen by saying "Oh Karen, I didn't know that you smoked."  After she almost
nonchalantly said "oh yea, do you?" I gathered up my courage and said "no, not
yet....I mean I really have wanted to try it for a while but was afraid to
because it' not good for you."  Karen said "OK, I'll teach you how to smoke if
you want to try it, but you have to decide for yourself and if you decide yes,
don't tell your folks that I showed you how."  I though it over for a few
seconds and decided that it was time.  Karen showed me how to puff on the
cigarette, and hold it, and finally, how to inhale.  I explained to Eileen that
even though my first inhale was small, I didn't cough, and I lost it in my
shorts again when I saw that first small stream of smoke come out of my mouth.

I concluded my story of my first cigarette by telling Eileen how I, from that
day on, continued to occasionally smoke with Karen, my other experiences as a
"closet smoker" for the next 2 years, and how I had always over that time fought
a moral battle with myself over the pros and cons of my desire to smoke.  By age
16, I just decided that I was going to smoke, and began to do so openly, at home
in public, in front of my friends, eventually summoning the courage to tell my
parents (both non-smokers) that I had started to smoke.  Eileen listened
intently to my story and stated that she had never heard someone "take an
activity like starting to smoke," something she had always classified as
"wrong", and turn it into such a "sexually driven, coming-of-age story."  She
followed that up with stating that my story gave her an understanding for the
first time of why a young person might try smoking.

Just about then, Eileen and I each made that first "move" and embraced in our
first kiss.  As we pulled away, Eileen said, "that was nice, and that my kiss
had "a warm and minty" taste.  "Benson & Hedges Menthol Lights,"  I replied.  We
continued along this passionate way for a while, progressively exploring each
other's bodies with our hands as our long, passionate kisses lasted for a
seeming eternity.  I knew that this was all moving in the right direction, but
as we "came up for air" I said to Eileen that I didn't want to go any further in
the front seat of my car.  I said, "Let's make a deal.  It's getting late, so
I'll take you home now, and tomorrow night we'll meet for dinner and drinks all
over again, and we'll go to a hotel and spend our first night in a safe, secure,
private and comfortable place."  Eileen said that sounded great, but that she
would need to come up with some kind of story to tell her parents so that she
could get out of the house for the night.  We agreed to meet a nice hotel I
suggested which was somewhat "out of town", took her home and kissed her
goodnight.    

The next night, Eileen and I met as planned.  Following another great dinner, we
stayed at our table in the hotel restaurant and order some after-dinner drinks.
During the entire time in the restaurant, I had smoked only 2 cigarettes, but as
Eileen and I continued to indulge in the cocktails, I fell into my more normal
smoking routine.  As was the case yesterday, Eileen said nothing about my
smoking, but I noticed once again that her attention was drawn toward me more
while I was smoking.  About two hours into our evening, we were both confessing 
that we were "feeling no pain" and it was time to pay the bill and go up to our 
room to pick up where we left off the previous night. 

Once in the room, we covered all the bases; another drink, more stimulating
conversation, each of us disrobing the other.  Then a back massage for Eileen
followed by one for me.  Soon, we were probing each other's unclothed bodies and
kissing passionately.  The love-making that followed was long, intense and drawn
out.  As we each recovered from our first session together, Eileen and I began
to laugh at how we had become friends and how we pleasured each other so fully.
As we continued our playfulness, Eileen only hinted slightly about "leaving
home" for the night and what she had to go through to convince her parents she
was elsewhere.

Telling her to not think about that now and trying to get her to relax, I got up
from bed and asked her if she would like another drink.  "Yes," she answered,
asking "what is there to drink."  I went to my overnight bag and pulled out a
small cooler which I had prepared earlier in the day.  Opening it, I pulled out
two small bottles of champagne and two glasses.  "You think of everything, don't
you?" Eileen said as she smiled.  As we sat on the side of the bed sipping the
bubbly, I reached over to the dresser for my pack of cigarettes and lighter.
Taking one from the pack, I noticed that Eileen focused intently on me as I
raised my Bic and brought an even light to my B&H.  I slipped into a moment of
self indulgence as took a deep puff on my cigarette, enjoying that celebrated
"after-sex cigarette," in that this was the first one of those I had had in some
time.

What happened next brought me back to earth, though only for a second, as I was
about to be launched to the next level of ecstasy.  Out of nowhere, Eileen
whispered "Hey, let me have a puff of that...."  Containing my excitement upon
hearing her request, I looked at her, smiled, and said, "I don't think so, but
would you like some more champagne?"  Eileen replied, "Yes, I would, and I would
also like to take a puff on your cigarette."  Hiding my excitement further, I
said  "I thought you hated smoking and never had any interest in it?"  She
answered that she did and probably still does, but that she wanted to try a puff
anyway.  I told her that any notion of experiencing the "after sex cigarette"
would be lost on her, as a non-smoker would not have that of satisfaction.
Nevertheless, she asked again.  I handed her my cigarette, and as she took it
between her fingers, I pulled the sheets over my waist in an attempt to conceal
my excitement.  Eileen very slowly put the cigarette between her lips and took a
shallow, awkward puff.  For the first time I began to fantasize about Eileen
smoking, and the thought of that got me very excited.  Pulling the long, white
menthol light away from her mouth, she blew out a small cloud of un-inhaled
smoke, smiled, looked at me and said, "maybe it's because these are menthol, but
that minty taste is not so bad."  She raised her two fingers to her mouth and
put the cigarette between her lips a second time, took a little more smoke into
her mouth than the she had seconds before, leaned her head backward, and blew
out the smoke in a small cloud.  

I extended my hand towards her, and she gave me back the cigarette, now more
than half consumed.  I took a long puff, inhaled deeply, and leisurely blew out
the smoke over a series of  a exhales from both my mouth and nostrils, as was my
style.  As I repeated this process, Eileen said "Now I want to try that.  Show
me how to inhale."  "OK, I'll show you," I replied.  I took a fresh cigarette
from my pack, lit it, and began the lesson.  I first told Eileen that most
people have a coughing reaction the first time they inhale, so that what I would
do instead of subjecting her to this would be as introduce the smoke to her
lungs slowly.  I told her that I would take a puff and exhale the smoke directly
in front of her, and that she was to inhale my smoke through her mouth as it
hung in the air.  She did as I instructed.  I now told her to purse her lips and
exhale. To her surprise, a small, tiny, thin stream of small exited her mouth as
she exhaled.  We continued this exercise for the first half of the cigarette,
and Eileen didn't seem the worse for wear.  I asked her to describe the
experience.  She said she could hardly taste anything, but that she could feel a
warm, then cool feeling in her throat.  I asked her if she wanted to continue.
She said, "sure, I haven't really done anything yet."

Now I told Eileen that I would take a puff, inhale, and hold the smoke in my
lungs for a few seconds.  This would dilute the smoke somewhat as it would mix
with the air in my lungs.  Then I would put my lips to hers and exhale my smoke
directly into her mouth.  I told her not to inhale immediately, but to let the
smoke gather in her mouth and slowly open her mouth and "swallow" the smoke.  I
took a small puff and did as I had said, and Eileen did likewise.  As she
inhaled my smoke, I told her to wait a few seconds, then exhale the smoke by
blowing it slowly from her mouth.  This she did, and upon completion, gazed at
the stream of smoke she had just exhaled and almost shyly asked to repeat the
process.  We finished the cigarette this way, all the time studying her first
attempts at inhaling and exhaling while desperately trying to conceal my
excitement and arousal as I watched the her exhale the smoke from between her
soft lips.  As I crushed the finished cigarette out in the ash tray,  I gently
embraced Eileen and kissed her slowly.  She reached for me and in doing so,
pulled away the sheet I was using to conceal my arousal.  Eileen took notice and
mounted me as I sat on the edge of the bed.  As I began to slip down on my back,
she stopped me and instructed me to remain seated.  Sensing what was to follow,
I stiffened to a new level as Eileen reached over to the dresser and gently
picked up my pack of B&H's and my lighter.  Placing the ash tray next to our
joined bodies, Eileen took the pack, pulled out a cigarette, and placed it
between her fingers.  Saying that she knew that I was super turned-on by the
thought of seeing her smoke a cigarette, she said that she was doing this
spontaneously, based on the fact that my smoking lesson of a few minutes ago was
not the wretched and unpleasant experience so though of in the past.  I asked if
she was sure she wanted to do this, and she said "yes," that she had been
watching me very carefully over the past few weeks since that first cigarette I
smoked in front of her, and that the pleasure that I got from smoking was so
obvious to her that she had actually become curious about smoking.  With that,
she placed the cigarette between her lips.  I grabbed the lighter from her other
hand, at lit her up.

Following my instructions from before, Eileen took a slow drag, pulled the long
white menthol light from her mouth, and as I would do myself, opened her mouth
just slightly and inhaled her first puff of cigarette smoke on her own. Rocking
ever so gently on me in all my stiffness, she turned her head to the side to
expose her profile to me.  I noticed that she was looking downward to see for
herself the stream of smoke she was about to exhale from between her lips.  As
she exhaled her small but elegant first puff, I of course immediately exploded
inside of her.  Then she took a second puff, inhaled, and again blew out her
smoke through her lips.  As she went for her third puff, I could feel her body
stiffen and writhe in a way it had not in our earlier first love making session.
As she exhaled this time, she too exploded in an orgasmic down pouring of warm
wetness.  We remained in place like this for the next few minutes, as Eileen
smoked the entire cigarette eagerly.  Her puffs remained basically small and her
inhales shallow, but her exhales were nonetheless exquisite.  By the end of that
one cigarette, I exploded a second time and she three more times, all in the
course of one of her exhales.  Completely exhausted, we rested for a while until
we recovered enough strength to make love once again, this time minus the
cigarette.  As I went to light up after we were finished, I avoided offering a
cigarette to Eileen, curious to see if she would request one herself.  She did
not, but again she studied me intently as I indulged in my smoke.  Soon after,
we fell to sleep in each other's arms, to awaken the following morning to
another session of ecstasy.

Over the next few weeks, we spent most of the weekdays together at school, and
as much time on the weekends together as we could.  I was disappointed at times
that Eileen's schedule around her house kept her so busy, but it helped to keep
our relationship honest in that we had to make the most of our private moments
together.  During this time, as well as the months to follow, Eileen would on
occasion ask for or just simply take a cigarette from me when we were alone.
Her smoking was relegated to these times only, and her smoking style had hardly
changed or developed, although she certainly knew when to take her cue and light
up at those strategic times when we were in the course of sexual activity.   

As the school year drew to a close, Eileen and I realized that we had only the
summer months together before I would be off to school at a major university
many hours away.  Eileen decided to stay on and complete the next two years at
the same small college where we had met, as this would afford her the
opportunity to stay close to her family.  As the summer drew to a close, we
spent as much time together as we could.  The more time we spent together over
this period led to a chain reaction of sorts for Eileen.  Firstly, she was away
from home more, and this had become a problem as she didn't seem to know how to
tell her folks that her life was a priority to her and that they would have to
get used to doing more of their own things for themselves.  This created stress
for Eileen, and it seemed that just talking about it made things worse for her.
The only thing that seemed to relax and relieve her was our intimacy.  Knowing I
would soon be leaving, Eileen sought to be satisfied and to satisfy me at all
cost.  Knowing how it drove me crazy, Eileen would light a cigarette as a signal
that she was "in the mood."  Though I enjoyed the pleasures of watching her
smoke, I was now almost wishing that she wouldn't, as I new that very shortly I
would have to do without this erotic and stimulating exhibition.  I noticed,
however, that Eileen's smoking style had begun to change somewhat.  Getting more
used to smoking, Eileen's inhales were getting a deeper, and her exhales, though
still through her mouth, were now regularly followed by small streams of smoke
unconsciously exhaled from her nostrils over a series of two or three breaths.
I playfully cautioned her saying, "you seem to be getting rather proficient with
smoking; you'd best be careful because before you know it, you'll be hooked."
Eileen answered that "as soon as I was away at school, she'd have no reason to
smoke," and that she was only doing it to excite me.  Somehow, I though
otherwise.

Before too long, summer was gone, and Eileen and I had our tearful farewell.  We
both realized that we had developed a very close and special relationship, and
agreed that over vacations and the next summer we would likely resume our
intimacy, we mutually agreed that we would put our friendship first and keep the
door open for whatever or whoever might enter our lives in the coming months.


Two weeks after arriving and getting situated at my new college, I received my
first letter from Eileen.  Apart from writing about her first few weeks of
school and how much she missed me,  her letter said little else.  My reply was
equally as typical.  After a few more letters, I decided to give Eileen a call,
as I was now a month into my new surroundings and was beginning to feel a little
lonely, missing the closeness we had established.  Eileen was glad I had called,
and she spent about a half hour relating to me the stress she was experiencing
over her school, job and home work loads.  I asked her if she has "met any nice
guys" since I had left and she sarcastically answered "yeah, I've been screwing
the football team."  This was followed by a more serious "no," which was further
followed by a rather tasty description of how she was pleasuring herself to
satisfy her thoughts of being together with me again.  "Are you smoking at all?"
I asked.  "Haven't since you left," she answered.

Over the next three months, our relationship stayed on this course, and by the
time that the Thanksgiving break was rolling around, each of us had basically
gotten over the absence create by the distance between us.  We had each made new
friends at school, and had even gone out on a few dates.  Eileen and I made
plans to spend as much of the four-day Thanksgiving break as we could.  We
planned to meet for drinks on Wednesday evening.  Thursday  I would venture with
Eileen's family up to her older sister's house for Thanksgiving dinner, and we
would sneak away to out favorite hotel Friday and Saturday.  It was these last
two days that I was focusing my attention towards as I was driving to meet
Eileen on Wednesday night, anxiously hoping the next 36 hours would come and go
so that we could rekindle some of our old intimacy.  I also wondered for the
first time in a good while if Eileen would enhance this special time by once
again adding a cigarette or two to the festivities.  Before long I arrived at
the cozy little bar we had selected as the site for our reunion.  After the
hugs, kisses, and preliminary pleasantries, we ordered our drinks and settled
in.  It seemed to me almost too good to be true.  Our special friendship had
survived three months of separation, yet we seemed to pick up right where we had
left off--with one addition.

As the waitress brought us our drinks, I reached into my jacket and pulled out
my B&H Menthol Lights and lighter.  As I lit up a cigarette for myself, I
wondered if Eileen would ask for or simply take one for herself.  She didn't.
Instead, she opened her pocketbook, and to my surprise (but not really) pulled
out her own pack of Virginia Slims Menthol Lights and lighter.  As she opened
the flip-top to her crush-proof pack and withdrew a cigarette, I smiled and
said, "well, well, what have we here..??.."  Lighting her slim, white 100 as I
spoke, she took a deep drag, inhaled, and began to tell her story.  "You're not
going to believe this," she said, exhaling thick streams of smoke from both her
mouth and nostrils as she spoke, "I mean, I don't know really why, but a few
weeks ago, I was having lunch with my girlfriend Jean from school.  She pulled
out a pack of these Virginia Slims after and lit one up.  Watching her enjoy
that cigarette just reminded me of the times I would smoke with you, so I just
asked her for one.  That one cigarette brought me so much pleasure and so much
relief from the stress I had been under, that I guess I just wondered if I would
feel that way the next time I smoked.  So on the drive home from school, I
stopped off and bought a pack for myself.  I used the lighter in my car, and
just rolled down the window and lit up.  And although I have no explanation for
it, I experienced that same sense of pleasure and relief."

"So tell me more..., I replied.  "Well," Eileen responded,  I didn't know what
to think, so I started back on the road and about 15 minutes later, after I
started to contemplate all the reading and house work I had in store that night,
I felt the stress creeping back.  So I lit up another cigarette and actually
smoked it while I was driving down the highway.  And with each puff that I took,
I actually could fell the stress come out of me as I exhaled the smoke.  Even
the thought of fearing my mom smelling the smoke on me when I got home didn't
seem to bother me.  After I got home, had dinner, and finished my house work, I
actually felt an urge for a cigarette.  Knowing I couldn't smoke in the house, I
finished my school work as quickly as I could, and made an excuse to have to go
to the supermarket to pick up some things just so I could smoke another
cigarette."
 As I listened intently to her story, I took special notice of the fact that
Eileen's newly developed urge to smoke had taken root, as her smoking style had
emerged beyond her shallow, small inhales and thin exhales of the past.  Now,
she puffed fully on her Virginia Slims, which looked so elegant in-between her
thin fingers, clashing rather agreeably with her long, flowing sandy brown hair.
Her inhales showed signs of experience; upon removing the cigarette from her
lips, she opened her mouth to expose a large, thick, white ball of smoke, which
she would then sweep down into her lungs.  Holding the smoke in her lungs for a
few seconds, she would then turn her head to the side and slightly upward, purse
her lips, and with a normal breath, blow out a thick stream of smoke for a
second or two.  This one breath, however, was not enough to expel all of
Eileen's smoke.  In one of the most erotic displays of smoking I had ever had
the pleasure to observe, thick smoke from the remainder of the same puff would
then literally flow out of her mouth and nostrils for what appeared to be the
next five or six breaths she took.  I guessed that she must have an
extraordinarily huge lung capacity.  If she was talking while she was in one of
these prolonged exhales,  her smoke would similarly escape her mouth and
nostrils continuously, almost endlessly, gradually reducing from thick streams
to thin wisps with each spoken word.  On one puff, after this process was
complete, Eileen actually leaned her head back after exhale-speaking for about
half a minute, unconsciously unaware that the rest of puff had been exhaled as
she was speaking. To my complete surprise, from that same one puff, she actually
exhaled another long and fairly thick stream from her mouth.

Of course by now, I'm just about ready to lose it, and after this exhibition,
who could blame me!  I said, "by the looks and sounds of it, would it be safe to
say that you're now smoking on a regular basis?"  Eileen answered, "I guess so,
but the basis is not so regular.  It's only been a few weeks since I started,
but I really have to admit that I really like it. I have no more stress, and I
just feel like a new person ....a more confident person.... when I smoke.  I
never thought I would ever say that about smoking, but I guess I never really
knew what I was missing. To be honest, after I began playing that little smoking
game with you, I had my first realization that I could grow to enjoy a cigarette
every now and then.  After you left for school, I had some urges, but I felt
guilty even thinking about having urges to smoke, so I just put it out of my
mind.  Over the past month, being out with friends in bars and clubs, and around
school, I somehow found myself fixated on watching other people smoke.
Something inside kept saying have one, and finally when I watched Jean enjoy her
smoke so much I finally gave in."

" So how much are you smoking each day," I asked.  Eileen responded, "I guess
about a half a pack a day."  I asked her what she was thinking about her
new-found pleasure, and she said, "I'm not thinking about it at all, I'm just
smoking.  I don't feel that much stress anymore, and I actually feel good when I
smoke.  I guess I'm a little afraid about getting hooked, but I just want to
smoke when I feel like smoking, and each day I feel like smoking more and more."
As this continued, so did Eileen's smoking.  About an hour into our evening, she
had already smoked three cigarettes.  I told at that pace, she had to be smoking
more than a half a pack a day.  Eileen replied that her half a pack a day was a
result of the fact that she couldn't smoke at home, and that her mother had
already commented on the fact that on a few occasions, she could smell smoke on
Eileen's clothes and in Eileen's car.  Eileen was able to side track her
mother's curiosity by saying it was only a result of being in smoky places or
allowing friends to smoke in her car.  But this was now Eileen's new
dilemma--how much longer could she hold out not being able to smoke at home?  It
was obvious that she had already crossed the threshold of accepting the image of
herself as a smoker, and it would only be a matter of time before her body--now
at a half a pack a day level--and with Eileen's psychological desire to "smoke
more"--would demand higher and more frequent levels of nicotine.

The next day--Thanksgiving Day--found me, Eileen, her mom, dad and younger
sister Kathy taking a two hour drive upstate to her older sister Terry's house.
Having never met Terry or her husband, I did remember Eileen telling me in her
non-smoking days that her sister Terry was a very heavy smoker.  Having never
exposed myself as a smoker  to Eileen's parents or Kathy, and remembering Eileen
tell of how her sister Terry never smoked around the rest of the family, I
figured that today would be interesting with all of us smokers resisting our
temptations.  I had not planned it, but as it turned out, I would be able to use
this day as an opportunity to help Eileen address her dilemma about not being
truly free to smoke at her leisure.  Fortunately, I would also have a lot help.

To begin with, I  had to deal with the idea of not being able to smoke for the
entire day.  This was going to be a problem, as I had progressed beyond a pack a
day myself over the last three months while away at college.  It was during this
time that I had come to terms with the fact that my 9 year love affair with
smoking was beyond my control, as I was now myself a truly nicotine-addicted
smoker.  I had not gone a day without a cigarette for so long that I couldn't
begin to remember when that day was.  By the end of our two hour drive, I was
climbing the walls; there was no way I was going to make it through the day
smokeless.  After entering Eileen's sister's house, I was relieved after about
ten seconds seeing a full ashtray and a couple of packs of Merit 100s lying on
the coffee table in the living room.  Not long after, we all learned that Terry
had laid down the law with mom and dad, and she was now openly smoking in their
presence in her own house.  The third sign of relief was learning that Terry's
husband Randy was a pack-a-day smoker too!  Eileen's folks (more her mother),
were quick to point out their objections to this, evident from the first
cigarette Terry lit up 2 minutes after we all arrived.  This was enough for me.
I couldn't care less about what Eileen's parents would think knowing that I
smoked, so I pulled Eileen aside, took my pack of cigarettes and lighter from my
jacket, and said, "Sorry babe, but the disguise is coming off."  I had never had
to spend this much time with her parents before today, and  not smoking in front
of them was never an issue, until now.  I was going to smoke for the rest of
that day because I wanted and needed to, and I resolved as well to help to set
the stage for Eileen in breaking the ice with her parents about her own smoking.

Re-entering the already smoky living room, I turned to Terry and said, "Do you
mind if I smoke in your house?"  Terry replied with a broad smile, "How could I?
Please do!"  Looking over at Eileen's folks, I simply said "sorry if this upsets
you, but I've been smoking for 9 years......" and proceeded to light up.  Not a
word was spoken, but mom and dad were not pleased.  Terry, Randy and I struck up
an instant friendship, and spent the next hour smoking and talking about how
much we loved to smoke, further annoying the old folks.  Then moving to the
kitchen, we three smokers went about putting the final touches to the turkey
dinner about to be served.  Soon, Eileen entered and started signaling me aside.
Asking what she wanted, she replied quietly, "Come upstairs with me. I'll
pretend I'm giving you a tour of the house.  I really need to have a
cigarette!!"  I told her no, if you want a cigarette, have one here in the
kitchen with the rest of us smokers.  Eileen replied, "No...are you nuts??...I
can't smoke in front of my family!!!"  I answered, "honey, half your family
smokes!!....get over it, come out of the closet, and light up right here.  At
least let your sister and Randy in on it. They'll understand."

Eileen didn't respond.  I pulled out a chair, asked her to sit down and said,
"allow me."  I knew Eileen's folks and Kathy were glued to the television and
some old photo albums out in  the living room, so I assured her not to worry
about them for now.  Getting Terry's and Randy's attention, I said, "hey guys,
gather round, Eileen has something to show and tell."  Asking them to keep it
quiet, I pulled a B&H Menthol Light from my pack and handed it to Eileen.  As
she took the cigarette from me between her two fingers, Terry's and Randy's eyes
open wide in disbelief.  Terry whispered "oh no, don't even try to tell me that
you're going to smoke that, my little anti-smoking sister!!!"  With that said,
as Terry and Randy gazed on, I flicked my Bic and gave Eileen a light.  Closing
her eyes as the end of the cigarette touched the flame, Eileen took a confident
and elegant drag, inhaled deeply in her new style, and gave her sister and
brother-in-law there first look at her long, smooth, multi-breathe exhale.
Terry said, "I don't believe it, after all these years of grief from you about
my smoking.....how long have you been hiding this?  For awhile I would guess;
you've obviously been smoking a while based on that monster cloud of  an
exhale!!"  Everybody let out a quiet laugh, then smiled with approval and
proceeded to light up a cigarette of there own to share Eileen's newly-found
pleasure.  Eileen told Terry that she first tried smoking about a year ago with
me, but that she had only started smoking regularly "a few months ago."  Terry
asked "Does mom and dad know?"  Eileen said "no, they don't."  I added that
"they didn't even know that I smoked until today."  Eileen said next to her
sister, "Terry, you've got to help me, how do I tell mom and dad?"
 Terry replied, "Geez Eileen, that's a tough one.  I hid it from them all though
high school, and even after I moved out of their house, it took me almost a year
to tell them.  Also, me and Randy never even smoked here in our own house for
the past 5 years when you guys would come up because mom told me we would be a
bad influence on you and Kathy.  We finally had enough of it, so when we were
planning today's get-together, I told her, Ma, enough is enough.  Eileen and
Kathy aren't little kids anymore, and me and Randy were going to smoke in our
own home whenever we wanted, so get used to it.  Mom wasn't happy, but too
bad.....I'm 30 years old!!!  The more I thought about, the more I wished I had
just smoked right in front of them when I was 16 . It would have been great not
having to sneak around and worry about how my breath and clothes smelled ever
time I came home for all those years."  Terry went on to instruct Eileen on how
to break the ice.  Her plan was as follows.  She looked seriously at Eileen and
told her, "after dinner and dessert, when we all sit back down for coffee, wait
for the three of us to light up.  Get up from the table, get your pocketbook,
sit back down and say....mom, dad, Kathy, I'm sorry but it's time I got honest
with you about something....then pull you pack of cigarettes out and light one
up.  We'll all be there, so what ever happens, you'll have our full support."
Taking a last puff from her cigarette, Eileen crushed it out and said, "I guess
your right Terry, so I'll try it. But if I can't get the courage up, don't say
anything or embarrass me."  Terry agreed, and with that, we finished the dinner
preparations.  That turkey dinner was going to be great, but I couldn't wait for
what would follow this Thanksgiving dinner.

Following dinner, just as was planned, Eileen got up from the table to retrieve
her pocketbook as Terry, Randy and I lit up.  Her mom said "that's right Eileen,
I can't take these smokers either."  Eileen hollered back from the other room,
"No ma, I just have to get something.....I coming right back."  Seconds later,
Eileen returned to the table with her pocketbook.  As she opened it, she looked
at her mom and dad and said very matter-of-factly, "I know you are not going to
like what you are about to see, so I'm sorry, but today is the day  I have to do
this."  With that, she pulled out her Virginia Slims Menthol Lights and lighter.
Her mother instantly said, "Eileen, don't you dare tell me you've started
smoking."  "Yes, mom, I have, and nothing you or dad say or do is going to stop
me.  If you would like, we can talk more about it later, but right now........"
With that, Eileen proceeded to light up, and the four of us smokers changed the
subject as we enjoyed our after-dinner cigarettes.  Over the next few hours,
Eileen smoked a cigarette every half-hour or so, and I carefully observed the
reactions on the faces of her parents.  They completely ignored her, and it was
obvious that they grew more uncomfortable when she lit up.  Her younger sister
Kathy tried to compensate for this by engaging Eileen in conversation.  Just
before we were to leave, Kathy, who was 14 at the time, pulled me aside and
asked me if it was I who had shown Eileen how to smoke.  I told Kathy that
Eileen became interested in smoking on her own, and that when she decided to try
it, I helped her.  Guessing where Kathy was heading, I asked her why she was so
curious.  Kathy told me, after swearing me to secrecy,  that she was very
interested in trying smoking, and was very proud that Eileen had "stood up" to
her parents by telling them that she was now a smoker.  She said that over the
last few hours, Eileen became almost like a "new person" and that she looked
more beautiful and mature when she smoked.  I promised Kathy that I would keep
her secret, and that if I had a chance, I would let her try to smoke before I
had to go back to school at the end of the weekend (This will be another story
for another time).  The ride home turned into a two hour debate between Eileen
and her parents about her smoking.  Despite their objections and anger, Eileen
maintained her position.  She made it clear to them that she was going to smoke,
though she agreed that she would not smoke in the house.  We enjoyed the rest of
the weekend on our own, and Eileen smoked freely throughout.

Once I returned to school, Eileen and I kept in close touch, and we spent most
of the Christmas break together.  As the new year progressed, we had both
started seeing other people, so we agreed that we would always remain friends.
That summer, we spent a lot of time together, but by now, a few things had
changed.  Since that Thanksgiving Day, Eileen and been spending less and less
time taking responsibility for things around her house, and it appeared that her
parents put less expectations on her.  She told me that she had explained to her
folks that her education was her only priority, and that she couldn't do all of
the little things around the house anymore.  Also since Thanksgiving, Eileen
would regularly step outside to smoke throughout the day.  She said she took no
special care in avoiding smoking when her folks wer around, but that her mom
would "ride" her on occasion. 

Once it started getting cold outside, Eileen told me that she very simply sat
down with her folks and told them that she was now going to smoke in her room.
They objected originally, but after Eileen insinuated that she would make plans
to move out, the gave in.  Soon after, she was told that she could smoke
anywhere in the house, which she did with out second's thoughs.  Up to a pack a
day by now, Eileen had also switched brands to Benson & Hedges Menthol, saying
that she enjoyed the stronger, full-flavor 100s.  

Much has happened since then.  We both graduated college the following year, and
went to work in New York City.  Periodically, I would meet Eileen for dinner and
drinks after work.  By now, she had moved out of her parents house and was
living in the apartment in the city.  Our relationship was completely platonic.
One night, while we were having coffee and cigarettes, I asked her for the first
time in years to tell me what she thought about smoking.  She said that once she
had realized years ago how much she enjoyed smoking, and how it relaxed her and
gave her so much self-confidence, she decided to just give in to it.  She was
aware of the fact that it was not good for her, but she accepted the risk.  She
enjoyed the self-image she had found as a smoker, and figured that she would
probably smoke for the rest of her life.

A few years later, Eileen got married and soon after moved to Ireland where her
husband had taken a job.  We kept in touch as best we could,  writing and
calling each other periodcally.  A year later, I also got married.  I had not
heard from Eileen for almost two years.  Then just a few weeks ago, Eileen
unexpectedly called me one night at home.  She said that she was in town for a
week for her sister Kathy's college graduation.  We made plans to meet for
dinner, just the two of us, as her husband didn't make the trip and my wife had
other plans.  Arriving a little late at the restaurant, I noticed Eileen sitting
at a small table in the smoking section in back.  As I made my way to the table,
Eileen stood up to greet me, holding a freshly lit, long white cigarette between
two fingers.  Following our pleasant reunion hugs and kisses, I pointed to the
leather cigarette case on the table and asked, "may I?"  "Oh course you may,"
Eileen replied.  Still a smoker myself, I wanted one of hers, just to see what
brand was in the case.  "Still B&H Menthol....," I said, and lit up using a
classy gold electronic lighter tucked into her cigarette case.  "Yeah, still
B&H," Eileen replied, adding "it's a good thing they sell my brand in Ireland!!"
Though we hadn't seen each other in years and had much catching up to do, we
spent a good deal off our time reminiscing about how I Eileen became a smoker.
She said that she had stabilized at about 30 cigarettes a day, and that there is
currently far less social pressure against smoking in Ireland and most of Europe
compared to  the U.S.  And wouldn't you know it, that still to this day,
watching Eileen lit up and smoke with her almost theatrical long puffs and long,
drawn-out exhales still gets me going, just like the old days.  Fortunately for
our spouses, however, those days are just memories.

Well, that's Eileen's story.  Our recent reunion brought it all back to the
present, so I decided to write about it. Hope all of you fellow fetishers
enjoyed it!


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