The Elusive California Dream, Part 5

   The following story is fictional and is provided solely for the enjoyment
of its readers. While there are references to actual establishments such as
several major corporations, other smaller companies, restaurants and
locations, the characters within the story are entirely fictional. Any
resemblance to a real person either living or dead is completely coincidental.
This fictional account does contain adult language and themes. If such
language and themes offend you, please read no further. This story is
copyrighted by AZ-MAN, all rights reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce
it in any form and for any purpose as long as this notice is reproduced and no
financial remuneration is received, directly or indirectly, by the person
reproducing it.
   
   Also, the author would like to thank SSTORYMAN for all his help and words
of encouragement along the way. You're great, man.
   
   THE ELUSIVE CALIFORNIA DREAM - Part 5 of 9
   
   9. Kiss and Makeup
   
   Jill didn't count on John for dinner tonight. She was still mad at him from
last night and didn't care if she saw him the rest of the week. But when he
called and said he'd be home for dinner and that he'd pick up some fresh
flounder or halibut and a bottle of wine on the way at Trader Joes, she
acquiesced.
   Now Jill was wondering what the occasion was as she prepared a garden salad
and awaited John's arrival. It was a little after 6 PM. Brittany was out with
her friends again (probably smoking too, sighed Jill) and Kyle was upstairs
doing her homework. Jill had some soft George Winston music, "Autumn" playing
from the kitchen CD player. The new-age piano sound provided a pleasant and
relaxing background as she busied herself with the routine culinary chores.
Jill was starting to feel optimistic. What could this be about?
   
   "So, you have a good day at work or what?" Jill responded as he came up
from behind and hugged her at the kitchen-island.
   "No, actually it was quite the shitty day," John said calmly.
   "Yeah, right. Since when do you make a special stop at TJs to pick up some
fresh fish and a $40 bottle of wine? You need more 'shitty' days like this,"
she smiled as he kissed the back of her neck.
   "Really, Jill. I had an awful day." He reflected. "Well, it was a bad
beginning. Maybe it got better as the morning wore on."
   "What happened? Are Conrad and Al still pressuring you to close on your
project in Fort Lauderdale?" She turned and was facing him, studying his
eyes.
   John thought for a moment before he spoke, "Conrad took me off the project
in Fort Lauderdale. I won't be going back there for a while."
   "Took you off?" Jill was truly caught by surprise. Only until now had she
ever heard of Conrad taking work away from John. Usually, it was just the
opposite. The more you performed, the more you were rewarded...with more work.
"Is this a demotion?" She picked the worst possible scenario only because she
wanted him to respond with some positive news.
   "I don't know. I think he wants me to concentrate more on sales and
marketing and pass the contracts stuff to someone else."
   "Who? Has Conrad hired someone else that will relieve you of that job?"
Jill had concern in her voice.
   John laughed as he thought of Naomi. "I don't think so but he DID hire
someone else. She started today."
   "She?" Jill raised an eyebrow.
   "Yeah. While I've been on the road, Con hired a second secretary for the
four of us. He said something like Sarah was getting too stressed out and
threatening to quit."
   Jill laughed. "Well, good for him. He knows a good thing when he sees it."
Jill liked Sarah. They weren't quite friends but had gone to lunch a few times
and usually spent hours chatting at the holiday parties and picnics that Ilex
hosted throughout the year.
   John wondered what Jill would think of Naomi.
   
   Dinner ended for the two of them around 9 o'clock. Kyle joined them only
briefly at the dining room table but excused herself and headed back to her
room. Brittany still was not home. John poured the last remnants of the wine
into Jill's glass. He recognized she was not quite buzzed but probably feeling
very relaxed. He felt nothing himself but decided to open a new topic of
conversation anyway.
   "Did I tell you this new gal Con hired -- her name's Naomi -- that she
smokes?"
   Jill smiled into her wineglass. She figured John wouldn't be bothered by
Naomi's habit. What made her smile was John's return to the smoking topic.
"No, you didn't. Is it a problem?" Again, a soft smile.
   "Well, no. It's just that every time I looked out at her workstation, she
was gone about half the time. Outside smoking, I suspect."
   "Addicted, I suspect," Jill followed.
   "No doubt. I don't understand it. Even though I smoke at parties and stuff,
I've never felt like I was addicted. I've never felt that I HAD to smoke,"
John spoke somewhat proudly. "Have you?" he added as if to make it sound like
an afterthought.
   Jill decided to not play coy this time. She knew what he was after and
played right into his hand. "Sure. I smoked regularly for a time there in
college. You knew that. And, yeah, I think I probably was addicted for a
while. I remember missing it that first summer when I went back home. It was
tough for about two weeks but then the cravings went away."
   "And you never tried it again? Not even behind my back?" John smiled and
winked hopefully.
   "Afraid not." Jill giggled and sipped her wine.
   "What? What's so funny?"
   "Oh...just you. You want me to try smoking again, don't you?" she asked
invitingly.
   John couldn't believe what he'd just heard. He had been desperately trying
to steer the conversation in this direction and coax it out of her since
sitting down at the table but she just jumped several spaces ahead of his
plan. It was wonderful to hear her ask this question. "I think it'd be fun to
try again." He knew he had that leftover pack of Benson and Hedges Menthol
Lights in his overnight bag upstairs. Will she smoke for me now?
   "Well, before we go on with this topic, there's something you should know."
Jill sounded a bit graver in her offering of this statement.
   John sensed her tone but said, "Tell me." He was still smiling.
   Jill let him have it. "Brittany smokes. Did you know that?" She was truly
asking.
   John was suddenly dazed. Just as Jill had jumped ahead of his plan to
discuss her smoking, now she had jumped again - to a completely unplanned
topic. "What?! Brittany?" John was incredulous. And he was not just
pretending. "How, when did you find out?" Then he answered her question. "Of
course I didn't know."
   Jill smiled in a calm manner as if to tell him, relax, I've already got the
situation under control. "I was out at Barnaby's waiting for a pizza for Kyle
and me the other night when I saw her and her friends out on the patio puffing
away."
   "What did you do? Confront them?"
   "No. I just watched Brittany smoke...inside, from the window."
   "Oh, God. Has she just started? Was this her first time? Maybe she was just
trying it." John didn't know quite what to think, although he wasn't as
bothered by it as he initially seemed. After all, she was sixteen, he
reasoned.
   "No John, she wasn't 'just trying it'. You should've seen the way she was
inhaling. I knew when I first saw her that it was not her first cigarette."
   "So, she doesn't know that you know. I mean, you two haven't discussed it
yet?"
   "Oh no. I called her on it the moment she got home," Jill spoke rather
defiantly.
   "Oh God," John spoke again. "I suppose the two of you aren't speaking.
What'd she break this time?" John was referring to the last big fight when
Brittany broke (accidentally) several of Jill's crystal goblets during a
tantrum at the dinner table.
   Jill laughed heartily. "John, whatever gives you the impression that
Brittany and I don't get along?" She sipped her wine then continued, "No, we
both conducted ourselves very lady-like. I think Brittany grew up quite a bit
that night.
   John shook his head in amazement. "You mean you're still friends?" This was
good news. He really was growing weary from the constant state of war that
seemed to exist between his older daughter and his wife.
   They were quiet for a moment, then Jill resumed, "You should've seen her
John. I barely recognized her at first...the way she was inhaling the smoke so
deeply -- deeper than I ever did. Then, the way she'd let it out while she
laughed or sipped her Coke -- it was almost scary. But in a way....you know, I
was mesmerized by it. I felt like I knew what she was feeling....."
   John added, "And you felt like you wanted to smoke too?"
   "Well, yeah. Watching her took me back for a moment. I felt like
recapturing my youth was possible, if only for a brief time, if I could only
smoke like that again."
   "Will you? For me?" John was grinning very suggestively.
   Jill flashed an embarrassed smile. "I can't smoke here silly, not now, with
Kyle sitting upstairs. Maybe if we go out sometime this weekend....yeah, I
might try it again."
   John was disappointed and ecstatic at the same time. He couldn't wait until
this weekend. Oh yes, yes I can, he thought. It'll be great! He leaned over
the table and kissed her. It was a prelude to what he wanted to do upstairs in
their bedroom.
   
   He made passionate love to her as he had not in many years. Lately, they
had been doing it about once a month. And, it had been with the enthusiasm of
a couple twice their age - the usual man-on-top-get-it-over-with-quick mode.
Tonight had been different. Tonight, they were like college kids again. Jill
was going to smoke for him and he was so horny in anticipation that he
performed in a way that satisfied them both.
   John had asked, once he was buried deep inside her, in his pixilated yet
sexy voice, "Jill, are you REALLY going to try smoking again...for me?"
   "Yes," she giggled. 
   John continued in his animated timber, "That sounds so good to hear you
say. When you smoke, are you going to inhale?" He knew the answer.
   Jill squirmed underneath him. "Oh yes. I'm going to inhale the smoke so
deeeep into my lungs. It'll feel so good." She squirmed some more in pleasure.
"Do you want to fuck me while I smoke?"
   John couldn't believe what he was hearing. All he could do was say yes as
he rammed her harder and harder until they both came in a loud crescendo. Once
the noise settled down, they giggled together when Jill suggested that Kyle
probably heard the entire show. Neither cared as they dozed off in each
other's arms.
   
   
   10. In the Meantime
   
   The girls were back at Gail's house after spending the last several hours
at the library studying together for a chemistry mid-term. To both their
surprises, Gail's parents were not at home.
   "That's sooo weird. They're almost never gone during a weeknight," Gail
exclaimed.
   "Wait, here's a note or something," Brittany observed, while sitting down
at the kitchen table.
   It was now a little past 9 PM. Gail scanned the note. "It just says that
they are both over at my grandmother's. Something about another 'spell', but
don't worry, she'll be fine. Then it goes on to say 'back around 11'." A
mischievous grin crept across Gail's face. She was an only child and knew the
house would be empty until at least eleven.
   "What?" asked Brittany, noticing Gail's expression.
   "We can smoke! That's what."
   "Oh, Gail, that would be soooo perfect. I've been dying for a cigarette
since my last one just after basketball practice. Are you sure your mom and
dad won't like, barge in or something?"
   "Let's go down into the basement to my room. They'll never know. You know
my mother smokes like crazy anyway."
   Brittany and Gail were giddy with anticipation for what would be only their
third or fourth cigarette of the day. Gail went straight to her dresser drawer
and produced a pack of full-flavor Salem 100s, her mother's brand, from
underneath her panties. Both girls had been smoking the full-flavored version
for about a week but Brittany had been alternating between Crystal's Marlboro
Lights and these since she quit buying packs for herself.
   After lighting up, the lovely sixteen-year-olds sat on Gail's double bed
and smoked in silence through several puffs. Finally Gail spoke, "You know
Brit, come to think of it, didn't you say you were going to have to quit
smoking or something...because of your mom?" Smoke mixed with her words as she
talked. Then, when she finished, she pursed her lips to let the last bit out.
   Brittany had just finished a long puff. After inhaling, she spoke in a
throaty voice, "Yeah, but first you have to cut down before you can quit." Her
smoke remained in her lungs the entire time, then she began her exhale showing
Gail a big smile.
   Gail laughed. "Oh. So you're, like, cutting down now, huh?"
   "Shit yeah. This is only my fourth cigarette today. I'm way down from the
10 a day I was smoking."
   After another puff, Gail said, "But these are full-flavor. They can get you
addicted, like, in a day. She spoke as if she had this information on good
authority.
   "So what? I'm already addicted." Brittany looked down at the long white
cigarette between her fingers. "These are good, by the way. I can see the
smoke in your mouth just before you inhale. It's so much thicker than with the
lights."
   "I know. I can feel it too." Then Gail snap-inhaled after a long puff as if
to demonstrate. Brittany was amazed by the amount of smoke Gail absorbed into
her supple, young body.
   They both were in a reclined position on the bed with pillows scattered all
around them. They sat in silence some more and took long puffs on their rich
menthol cigarettes blowing the smoke towards the ceiling. Brittany could her
Gail audibly inhale by making a whooshing sound, sending the smoke deep into
her chest. The girls were very close friends and neither thought anything of
it when Brittany reached over and gently started rubbing Gail's stomach
underneath her blouse. In fact, it felt so good, Gail moved Brittany's hand
higher and onto her breasts. Then she started another long puff on her
almost-spent cigarette. They both continued to watch the ceiling and smoke as
Brittany moved her other hand with the cigarette towards her crotch.
Subconsciously, they began to puff and exhale in unison, their streams of rich
smoke meeting in mid-air and mingling before rising upward. Brittany began
softly rubbing herself. The whole scene was getting very erotic as the room
filled with dense smoke.
   After a bit, the girls finished their cigarettes simultaneously and used
Gail's makeshift ashtray (an empty can of Diet Coke) to put them out. They lay
back down briefly to watch the last traces of smoke leave their bodies, then
Brittany rose and said she needed to be heading back home. She was still
somewhat buzzed from inhaling many puffs of the rich brand - especially near
the end while she and Gail touched. She thought she detected a mild ringing
sound in her ears. And, she was dizzy.
   
   During the short walk home to her own house, Brittany cleared her lungs and
reflected on this new smoking experience. It had been wonderful. She loved the
way the rich smoke seemed to tickle her nose and throat with a tingly mint
sensation. In her short exposure to smoking, this had been, without question,
her best cigarette. Maybe it was the stronger brand, maybe it was the mild
sexual exchange between her and Gail; maybe it was both. It didn't matter.
Before turning the corner and heading up the walkway to her front door,
Brittany doubted that she'd ever be able to quit smoking.
   
   
   11. Taking Care of Business
   
   "So, where are we on outstanding orders?"
   "We've got about 32 million on the books with another 60 or 70 in
forecast."
   "Christ. We're behind on our BRP, aren't we?
   Conrad nodded his head. "Yes. By almost 20 million."
   "What about the Navy order? Haven't we booked it yet?"
   "Not yet." 
   Al looked at his watch to view the date. "Shit, it's already March 2. Come
on Con, we needed to close on that one yesterday. What's John been doing in
Florida all this time?"
   Conrad spoke, "I took John off the Navy deal last week."
   Al looked up from the orders spreadsheet he was scrutinizing and said,
"Oh?"
   The two principals of Ilex were having a strategy meeting in Al Ross'
office. Al had been out of town almost the entire first two months of the
year. He rarely came to his office anyway. He was more the financial wizard
and long-range strategist. Al left the care of the day to day operations to
Conrad. As a result, Conrad hardly ever traveled. Today though, Al was behind
his big desk with Conrad leaning over him helping him review the status of the
Ilex order book. Both men had their reading glasses perched way down on their
noses. This meeting had very special importance. Al and Conrad both knew that
if Ilex had any chance at hitting its targeted revenue numbers for the year,
that they were going to need to secure a large chuck of money through outside
investment. April was to be the month that Ilex would test the waters with a
prospective IPO. They could no longer continue to afford to fund all the IR&D
programs needed to support the major growth that they were experiencing and
forecasting.
   "That 70 million of forecast....that's with or without our current DP
budget? Al asked.
   "Oh, definitely without. To hit our revenue goal of 200 million, we need to
up the DP by another 15 million."
   Al stroked his chin and pondered. "Will the IPO net us 15 million this
year?"
   "Absolutely. If we can get it done by May 1."
   "Shit Con. Where are we going to get all these engineers that are going to
spend this money? Even if we HAD an extra 15 mil, could you hire people fast
enough to make use of it?"
   "Yes," Conrad answered confidently. After thinking about it briefly, he
tempered his quick response. "I believe so."
   Al decided to change the subject. "So, what's the story with John? He's not
out fucking around on us, is he?"
   Conrad managed a small smile. "I wouldn't know anything about that Al."
   "Well, why'd you take him off the Sikorsky program? Has he got a personal
problem?"
   "He was having difficulty closing on it. He made a few errors in judgment."
Conrad was trying to cover for John without spilling the entire story.
   However, Al could read the code words. "Errors? What'd he promise them?"
   "It wasn't what he promised them. I think his quick-talking around the
engineering issues made the Navy suspicious. They've put a hold on awarding
the program," Conrad stated rather matter-of-factly.
   "HOLD?" Al roared, then watched Conrad wince. "That's the last thing we
need to hear." He lowered his voice. "Con, we are THIS close (he held out his
thumb and forefinger showing a space of less than an inch) to securing a
relationship with D & M up in San Francisco. All the figures they have assume
we will have this order booked when we go out with the IPO next month on
NASDAQ." D & M referred to Dunning and Myers, the regional investment banker
that had offered Al the best deal on commission so he was working exclusively
with them. "Who's working this program now that Patterson's off?"
   "Don Dooling."
   "Who?"
   "Don works for John. He's to report to me on this program. He's got a good
military contracts background. We hired him from the Navy back when the
government closed Moffett Field several years ago." Moffett Field was a Naval
Air Station located in Sunnyvale that had the misfortune of being on the
Navy's base closure list. Now the colossal dirigible hangar built to protect
the airship USS Akron and later used to support the Navy's P-3 aircraft fleet,
sat stone empty while the Silicon Valley tried to absorb several thousand
unemployed civil servants.
   "Military contracts person, huh? Is he good?"
   "Yes. Stanford grad, MBA, contracts management."
   "Could he take over as a director for all of our contracts?"
   Conrad understood what Al was thinking. The same thought had occurred to
him several days ago. Ilex was getting more and more involved with military
business. Doing business with the government required special skills. Skills
both Al and Conrad knew John was lacking. "I've been thinking about it,"
Conrad answered.
   "Well then, do it! John's good but he's an ex-PC salesman for Christ sake.
He probably had no business going down to Sikorsky and mixing it up with them
in the first place."
   Conrad frowned. "He'll take it hard. He feels he trained Don and got him
OUT of his military mode."
   "Times change, Con. Promote him as soon as you can. And make his first
priority to book that Navy business!"
   
   "'Morning Sarah," John spoke as he entered the executive area and passed
Sarah's desk. 
   She glanced at her watch. It was just after 9 AM. John usually was in by 8.
"'Morning John, coffee's on...I just made a fresh pot. You missed the first."
Then she smiled, "Where were you, young man?"
   "Traffic, weather, the usual asteroid shower. The commute gets tougher
every day." He grinned back as he poured some coffee and looked over in
Naomi's direction. He thought, I wonder how many cigarettes she's had already?
He didn't like missing any. "Hey, is Connie in today?"
   Sarah gave him a look of disapproval. She knew Conrad detested the nickname
Connie. John would never call him that unless they were both in a social
situation and likely drunk. "He's been in a closed door meeting with Mr. Ross
since 7 AM."
   John looked surprised. "No shit? Al's in today? I haven't seen him in
weeks...oh, sorry." He apologized for the curse but, judging by Sarah's
reaction, she was more put off by his using Conrad's nickname than the 'no
shit' remark. "They must be talking IPO. It won't be long now....'til we're a
public company, that is."
   Sarah knew what IPO stood for. She imagined that she knew more about what
was going on than John. She also knew that this boob was going to be made a
rich man along with a select handful of other employees. Fortunately, she had
some stock that Conrad had given her over the years stashed away that would at
least help in her retirement years. "Right as usual, Dick Tracy," she spoke,
with a very slight inflection on the word 'Dick'.
   John gave a small laugh in an attempt to save his own self-esteem then took
the cue and strolled off in the direction of his office. "Hey 'Omi, how's it
going this morning?" he spoke as he walked by Naomi's work area.
   Naomi hadn't heard the exchange between he and Sarah. "Oh, good morning,
John," she spoke very mechanically as she handed him a stack of mail without
looking up. She was hoping he'd keep moving towards his office. At least that
was the signal she was projecting.
   John felt like lingering for awhile. He was still baffled by this
mysterious woman and since she smoked, he was very keen on getting to know her
better. He glanced down on her desk (which was integrated into other various
pieces of the ubiquitous modular Hayworth office furniture). He saw her pack
of Virginia Slims 120s resting in plain view with a Bic lighter sitting next
to it. She must've just gotten back from the patio, he lamented. He had to say
something, the silence was turning awkward. "Hey, are you planning on coming
to the company picnic next weekend up in Huddert Park?"
   Naomi looked at him like he was joking. "Uh, no." she said flatly. "I
usually don't go in for things like that. Besides, I'm new. I won't know
anyone."
   "Oh, come on. You'll know me, you'll know Mike and Sarah....and Conrad." He
had noticed by watching from his office window that Naomi still hadn't made
any smoking buddies - male or female. "We always put on a great
cookout...never just burgers and hotdogs. Last year, we had rib eyes and
grilled salmon, all the beer, red or white wine you could possibly drink plus,
we usually put on some pretty decent skits. I myself may come dressed as a
famous, incumbent president you might know," he said hopefully. "Come on
'Omi..."
   "Uh, uh. I don't think so." She just shook her head, offering not so as
much as a thanks-for-asking-anyway gesture or smile.
   John thought he'd try one more line. What've I got to lose? "Hey 'Omi. You
know, I think I might need your help. These skits we do, well, I need the
First Lady to join me. You'd be perfect. Come on, you could be Hillary. I
already have the script written out, sort of. What'd'ya say?" He was really
trying to be charming.
   She gave him an odd look. "You're serious, aren't you?" She was smiling,
but only a little.
   John thought he saw some daylight. "Of course. You know, sweetheart, did I
ever tell you how much I lo-ve donuts?" he said in his best Arkansas drawl.
   This time Naomi did laugh. She was genuinely amused. "John, that's good.
You've got a future in politics if Ilex doesn't work out for you."
   "All right! You'll do it then?"
   "No."
   "Why not?"
   "I'm just not into that sort of thing."
   "What sort of thing? A wholesome company picnic with men, woman, kids,
families just having fun?"
   "Exactly that sort of thing."
   There was a brief silence as John thought for a moment. He was puzzled
again. "Well, if you're not coming, will you at least do me the favor of
joining me at lunch today? We need to talk about some business as well as
general b.s." John kept his gaze on her eyes to indicate he was serious this
time. He didn't want her asking the question twice.
   Naomi looked down. Her eyes seemed to fixate on her pack of cigarettes
sitting on the desk. She really wanted another one, right now. She figured
that somehow she should say yes if only for professional reasons. After all,
she did work for him. "Okay. I'll go. Is Mike coming with us?" She meant Mike
Smith, her other boss.
   "Do you want him to?"
   "Not really. I was just wondering."
   "Okay. Let's plan on leaving here at 11:30." Then John turned to his left,
entered his office and switched on his computer.
   Naomi headed for the patio for her second cigarette of the morning.
   
   ***********************************
   
   "NO WAY! Don't you dare write that asshole again. Not unless you want to
tell him you fear you might have given him AIDS or something." Then Tina
laughed. "You know, that may not be such a bad idea." She continued to laugh
as cigarette smoke burst from her mouth and nose.
   "I don't think you understand," said Jenni. "I've thought about it. I don't
think he really wanted to write that message to me. I think he just feels the
pressure from his job and maybe from his wife."
   "Right! His wife," Tina exclaimed. "He's married for God's sake. I'd just
forget you ever met the guy, Jen."
   Jenni reached into her purse and pulled out her pack of Virginia Slims
Menthol Lights and set it on the table. She had switched from her B&H brand
almost immediately after she got John's email last week. She found she liked
the Virginia Slims better anyway although they were about the same. "I know.
You're probably right but I feel there's something that still needs settling.
There are just a few things more I'd like to know."
   Tina took a long puff on her cigarette and quickly inhaled. "For
instance?"
   Jenni had just lit her own cigarette. She was now almost up to a pack a day
and enjoyed smoking whenever she pleased. "Well, you know, we talked about it
before I left that night. You know, before I flew down to meet him in Fort
Lauderdale?"
   Tina was starting to get intrigued. "We talked about a lot. Be more
specific." 
   "Come on, Tina. You know. This guy, John...he has this fetish thing you
told me about."
   Tina smiled. "Yeah, I thought so. How bad is it? Did you guys smoke while
you fucked?"
   Jenni took a long, slow puff on her cigarette and watched her chest rise as
she breathed in. She let the smoke rest in her lungs and swirl around for a
moment or two. She was still discovering all the different ways to inhale and
continued to search for a style that best suited her. "Tina, don't be so
crude. Yes, we did it twice while I smoked for him. Does that mean he's got it
bad?" Jenni thought she knew the answer but phrased it as a question anyway.
   "I don't know. Look Jen, if he does have it, and it looks like he does,
then you've got to realize, he's after you only because you smoke."
   "You think?" Jenni didn't want to believe it. "That's why I said, I still
think some things need settling." She suspected Tina was right but she felt
either way, she was a winner. If John was attracted to her regardless of her
smoking, then that was fine. If he was attracted to her because she smoked
then she knew she had a certain power over him. And that was fine too. She
just wanted to know. "Besides, I found out something that you told me to do -
I found out his wife doesn't smoke. That's good, isn't it?"
   Tina understood Jenni's dilemma. She was in a similar situation when she
was 19 and discovered her smoking drove a guy she was dating crazy. It had
made her feel special. She thought she found the only guy in the universe that
was hooked up this way. Her son Charlie was conceived during one of their
smoke-intensified sexual liaisons. They later got married but divorced when
Tina came home and discovered him in their bed with young Charlie's
17-year-old baby-sitter, teaching her to smoke. "Oh Jen. I don't care. If you
want to write him, fine. But, speaking from experience, these things never
work out."
   "Who said anything about writing him? I'm going to get a standby flight and
head out to San Francisco."
   
   ***********************************
   
   John and Naomi got back to the office a little after 1 PM. They had gone to
the nearby TGI Friday's and sat out on the patio. John was hoping for a
breakthrough with her when he pulled his Benson and Hedges Menthol Lights from
his jacket pocket and joined her for a cigarette. Her 120mm Virginia Slims
still looked so amazingly long to him that he had a hard time not staring as
she lit up. Despite the camaraderie John thought he was generating by smoking
with her, Naomi had remained cool and business-like throughout the lunch. He
noticed that she took full advantage of the smoking time as she went through
five cigarettes in the hour they were at their table. John was impressed by
the magnitude of her addiction as she continued to smoke even while she ate
her chef's salad and picked at the dessert. 
   Throughout the lunch, they had discussed John's upcoming projects that he
needed assistance on, the general office routine and some 'fun' stuff that
John thought Naomi would be very interested in - Conrad's and Mike's
personalities, Sarah's idiosyncrasies and just general office gossip. Naomi
listened, nodded and smoked while John did most of the talking. She seemed to
brighten only when John would bring up a new woman's name they both knew who
worked at Ilex. She occasionally laughed but seemed to radiate intentional
signals that she was not very comfortable in this social situation. John had
asked her again if she'd reconsider going to the company picnic as Hillary and
doing the skit with him. She continued to refuse.
   Now, as they entered the lobby at Ilex, John was finding himself glad to be
finished with the outing. Naomi was too quiet for his own liking -- something
was amiss with her, he just couldn't put his finger on it.
   "Uh, John. Glad your back. Conrad's looking for you," Sarah said as they
walked by her desk.
   John stopped. "Oh, really? Did he say what he wanted? I didn't expect to
see him today."
   "He didn't say." Sarah was a little more curt than usual. 
   He suspected she probably DID know what Conrad wanted but didn't press her.
She's probably just pissed 'cause I didn't ask her to lunch as well. "Is he in
now?" John noticed Conrad's door was closed.
   "Yes. Al just walked in but they should only be a few more minutes."
   Suddenly, John felt his stomach tighten. He was getting nervous. His
hard-wired business instincts told him that the atmosphere in the office had
changed - something was going on that he was not aware of. He never liked
hearing it from Conrad either. He always wanted to be the one telling Conrad
what was going on.
   John decided to go back to his office and pull up all the latest data on
several new programs that he and his people were working on. He also pulled up
all the order forecast information that he had just updated during an earlier
meeting this morning. It was not good news and he suspected that this was what
Conrad wanted to zero-in on. Sitting at his desk rapidly pulling up the
information, he noticed Naomi had wasted no time getting back outside to
smoke. She was at her usual spot at one of the patio tables puffing away. This
time she was talking with a gal from Finance that John knew. Her name was
Cheryl Weigand and she had been one of John's favorite sightings until Naomi
came onboard. Cheryl smoked only twice a day on the patio, and had disappeared
altogether just after New Year's until recently. John was glad to see she was
unsuccessful in kicking her habit. She was truly a lovely smoker. Two years
ago, she and John had started a friendship by sharing an occasional cigarette
outside. It blossomed into going to lunch several times. John really liked her
and kidded her that if ever he started his own company, he'd want Cheryl to be
his Controller. 
   Cheryl was standing and finishing up her Marlboro Lights 100. Just after
puffing, John could see her say something funny to Naomi then watched them
both laugh. I wonder why Naomi won't laugh like that when she's with me? Then,
Cheryl touched Naomi on the shoulder, blew out the last of her smoke and
headed for the door into the building. John just shook his head and continued
to watch Naomi. He noted she was increasing her frequency of puffs now that
Cheryl left. He knew that as she got to the end of her cigarette, she'd do
that "triple puff" thing he loved watching her do. When she noticed that her
cigarette was about done, she tapped off the remaining ash, took a puff while
sitting down, then another standing up, then a final one on her way to the
sand ashtray. After pausing momentarily, she pushed the spent cigarette into
the sand and headed for the door blowing long multiple exhales of smoke that
trailed her practically back to her workstation.
   John was in his 'fantasy zone' when Conrad walked in to his office. He
whirled around in his chair. "Con! Hi. You surprised me."
   "Hi John. You got a minute?" Conrad walked back to John's door and closed
it behind him.
   This was an ominous sign. "Sure, what's up? If it's about the order
forecast numbers, we've just revised some stuff this morning and ..."
   Conrad interrupted him. "It's not about the forecast, John. Al and I had a
little meeting this morning. Actually, it wasn't such a little meeting. It
lasted five hours and it was just the two of us with the exception of a brief
conference call with D & M up in San Francisco."
   John breathed easier. He knew who D & M were. Conrad probably wanted to
discuss the IPO and the options that the four partners shared. John had
invested $70,000 of his own money in Ilex back when the company was formed
seven years ago. It only represented a 10% buy-in at the time but he had been
given options as bonuses as the years had passed. He and Jill had taken a
second mortgage out on their home for the initial buy-in and it had been the
best investment John had made. He paid the money back in five years and was
now just waiting for the IPO to make his $70,000 investment and his options
worth almost $5 million. All John could say back to Conrad after his statement
was, "And?"
   Conrad continued. "And...I think it goes without saying that once this IPO
hits the streets, we are going to have a serious amount of capital infusion
into our business plan...this year. Now, we've got our sights set on expanding
the facility by about 100,000 square feet, buying new capital equipment for
the factory and augmenting our '99 IR&D budget by $15 million. But Al brought
up a good point this morning. He asked if it was even possible to spend that
$15 million this year. In other words, can we hire enough engineers and
non-directs to make good use of it?"
   John thought he was being asked to ramp up his department and prepare to
hire a bunch of new people. "Sure we can spend the $15 mil, Con. Even though
the economy is booming, people are always willing to jump ship for the right
offer." He smiled smugly.
   Conrad knew John had missed the point. "Yeah, you're right. But before we
hire a single new soul, I want to have our organization ready to absorb them
and use them properly. The last thing I want to do is give anyone carte
blanche to hire 100 new heads and have no real thought on what they'll do."
   John was following Conrad but wasn't prepared for what came next.
   "John, we're making some changes starting at the top. Al and I talked about
it this morning. Our business is continuing to get more complex. We are basing
more and more of our forecast on government business in the out-years. We need
someone that can manage these government contracts that has experience in that
area."
   John knew what was coming now. He felt his anger starting to rise.
   "Al and I are going to create a new position on the staff. It will be for a
Director of Contracts. We'll be keeping your position as VP of Marketing and
Product Support but the contracts stuff will fall under this new position."
   "A demotion," John said. It was not phrased as a question.
   "No. We're expanding -- at least later this year. The point is, we need a
certified contract management specialist running Contracts now. The bandwidth
of our business has exceeded your background. It's going to take two people to
do the job of what you've been doing in the past." Conrad was trying to sound
as diplomatic as possible.
   John was furious. EXCEEDED my bandwidth, indeed, he said to himself. "And
who do you have in mind for this position? Dooling, I suppose?"
   "Yes. That's what Al and I discussed."
   "Jesus Christ, Conrad! Did you ever give any thought to letting me name a
head of Contracts within my organization and letting me hire him or her? None
of this stuff has exceeded my bandwidth! I can't believe you said that. Is
this what you and Al want?"
   Conrad knew John was venting. He knew John's ego would have a tough time
with this. And, yes, having Don Dooling running Contracts was what he wanted.
Things had been slipping lately with John and this last screw up in Fort
Lauderdale was all he needed to convince himself. The Navy program was what
had thrown such a wrench into the IPO timing. "John, you're a marketing guy. I
need a contracts guy. And I want him reporting to me."
   John retorted, "Shit yeah, I'm a marketing guy! This marketing guy has
brought almost $250 million of revenue to this company over the last six years
and $100 million in 1998 alone. I'm the reason we're being courted by Dunning
and Myers in the first place. What's this 'I need a contracts guy' stuff? This
sucks Conrad." He was frustrated and 'sucks' was the best word he could
manage.
   Conrad finally couldn't contain himself. True, John had been good for Ilex
but both he and Al were very upset after today's developments with D & M over
the phone. And imagine, John thinking that he alone was responsible for the
good state of the company! "Yeah John, it DOES suck. It sucks that we didn't
book that Navy order last week when you assured us for a month that we would.
It sucks that you had to lie to try to make it happen. And you know what sucks
the most? I'll tell you. At this time next week, we WERE going to be a
publicly traded company. We were going to be out there on the NASDAQ with a
million shares starting at $20 per. We were going to be freshly capitalized
and well into growing the business THIS year. Now, D & M tells us that with
the status of our order book and the soft forecast for '99, we'd be better off
waiting until at least next quarter. NEXT QUARTER, John! This delay is going
to throw our business plan way the fuck into the year 2000. I think ultimately
we'll go public but the bottom line is, the lack of success on the Navy
program is why we are delaying. The fuckin' investment bankers tell us we
can't get our targeted $20 a share because of our soft performance to date in
'99." Conrad stood up, indicating that the meeting was coming to an end.
   John spoke, "You know Con...I don't have to take this. This is not right.
I'm not going to let you and Al cast me as the fall guy for your lack of
success up at D & M."
   Conrad decided not to pursue this line. As he walked out of John's office,
all he offered was, "Everyone's going to do what they have to do John." He
then gave John an icy stare just before he disappeared around the corner.
   John was so mad and so hurt that his extremities felt numb. He finally let
out a big "SHI - IT" then spun in his chair. As he stopped rotating, there was
Naomi, back on the patio lighting her umpteenth cigarette of the day. He
settled back but had difficulty watching her inhale puff after puff of the
creamy white smoke and release it into the breeze.

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