The Elusive California Dream, Part 6

   The following story is fictional and is provided solely for the enjoyment
of its readers. While there are references to actual establishments such as
several major corporations, other smaller companies, restaurants and
locations, the characters within the story are entirely fictional. Any
resemblance to a real person either living or dead is completely coincidental.
This fictional account does contain adult language and themes. If such
language and themes offend you, please read no further. This story is
copyrighted by AZ-MAN, all rights reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce
it in any form and for any purpose as long as this notice is reproduced and no
financial remuneration is received, directly or indirectly, by the person
reproducing it.
   
   Also, the author would like to thank SSTORYMAN for all his help and words
of encouragement along the way. You're great, man.
   
   THE ELUSIVE CALIFORNIA DREAM - Part 6 of 9
   
   12. Oh, So Close
   
   The commute home from Sunnyvale to Atherton was not a bad one, but John was
getting tired of it. If he had his way, he would move closer in - not farther
away to Woodside, as Jill wanted. What's she care? She doesn't have to fight
this damn traffic everyday. He cranked his car CD player louder to some Tom
Petty tune. John was still fighting his anger due to the setback at work.
First (and foremost) John had lost a battle he wasn't even aware he was
fighting. Don Dooling, who he hired two years ago, was now his peer. Almost
his equal! Secondly, with the news of the IPO slipping, he would have to wait
just that much longer before becoming financially secure. Wait 'til I get my
hands on my stock...then I'll tell Con and Al where to stick their 'changes at
the top', he thought.
   Stuck at a traffic light, John noticed some of the bumper stickers around
him. He was bored and his mood cast a gloom over the affluent California
lifestyle that he and Jill were supposedly living. California had become much
too pretentious and hypocritical for his liking. Everyone wanted to project
this laid-back, mellow, liberal attitude yet he never saw so many cut-throat,
career-driven assholes all concentrated in one place in his life. 
   "Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Meat," said one sticker. "I Brake For
Whales," said another. Then there was the old "Save Mono Lake," on the 1990
Honda Accord in front of him along with "Visualize World Peace". John shook
his head and let out a dour laugh. He liked the sticker that he saw awhile
back that was green and said "Visualize Whirled Peas". He really liked that
one. He was getting tired of all these pseudo-liberals taking themselves so
seriously. "Whirled Peas" took a direct swipe at them. It was hilarious.
   As John got closer to home, he began to feel a rising resentment for the
way he was being treated at Ilex. It was as if they had no regard for his past
value to the company. He had brought in millions. MILLIONS! And this
development today was the classic way of saying, yeah, but what have you done
for me lately? He figured his only mistake was that he did not directly
apologize to Al or Conrad before the Navy incident got this far. Now, they had
the gall to blame HIM for the lack of IPO success. He wished that he had
someone to share this personal tragedy with, someone to get drunk with. His
close friends had always been Conrad and Mike Smith. They were certainly not
going to be allies in this mess. He supposed he could talk to Jill. No. She's
so wrapped up in her own goddamn life of horses, volunteer work and social
events, he suspected, that she'd only superficially listen to his problems,
add her brief nods where appropriate then resume planning her next outing or
shopping trip. He stopped himself with that thought. No, she's not that bad.
Come on. Didn't I make passionate love to her the other night? Didn't she tell
me it was wonderful? Then something clicked. Oh God. That's right. She's going
to smoke for me. John felt a twinge in his stomach. When? He quickly resolved
that he was going to plan a "date" with her this weekend, get her mildly drunk
then propose she try a cigarette. He knew she would do it too.
   As John pulled his Lexus into the driveway, he noticed a very smartly
dressed woman of about 50 getting into a late-model Cadillac. The car was
parked on the street directly in front of their house. As she opened her car
door, she briefly waved at John before getting in and driving off.
   Who the hell was that? he wondered.
   He asked Jill the same question when he came in from the garage.
   "A realtor," she responded, without thinking what his reaction might be.
   John ignored the answer. He was already thinking about where he might take
her this weekend. Maybe spend a night at one of those rustic bed and breakfast
inns up in foothills above Woodside. "Hey, honey. What are we doing this
weekend?"
   "Nothing much. Kyle has a riding lesson on Saturday morning but that's
about it, I think. Why? You have something in mind?" She grinned almost
sensing his plan.
   He came up behind her, reached around her waist and kissed her neck.
"Maybe," he said. He was horny from watching Naomi smoke all day and wanted to
take her right there. "I thought we'd go up to La Honda and stay the night at
that little B & B you showed me a few months ago. Maybe go to a nice dinner
first."
   Jill smiled seductively. "Oh, that sounds romantic. I'd love to, John. You
have any other plans?" she asked in a leading manner.
   "Yeah." He kissed her neck again.
   "Like what?" She was showing him it was okay to continue -- that she'd
likely agree to anything he had on his mind. She was looking forward to
smoking too. She'd been thinking about it a lot.
   "Like seeing you in that skimpy black negligee of yours in a softly lit
room, sitting on a plush bed and smoking a very long cigarette." John was
starting to sound nervous.
   Jill put him at ease. "Oh yeah?" She turned to face him remaining in his
arms and spoke in a very soft, sexy voice, "Then what?"
   "Then we make mad, passionate love all night until we're both so tired that
we fall asleep. Then we wake up and do it all over again."
   "Do you want to make love to me while I smoke?" Jill sounded almost eager.
   "You bet." John held her tight and almost came in his pants just thinking
about it.
   
   As they finished up dinner and Kyle went into the family room to watch TV,
John was reminded of something. He'd been dwelling on his meeting with Conrad
earlier in the day while eating. His good mood from earlier was starting to
fade -- reality was creeping back. "Say, Jill. What was that realtor here for
anyway? Are you using her to gather information like we'd talked about?"
   Jill thought John was in a good enough mood from earlier so she decided to
spill the beans. Our stock will be public next week, she reasoned. "Well, I've
used her to gather information already. Her name's Judy Walker and she's with
Coldwell Banker...you know, I told you I got her name from Sally at church.
Anyway, she's going to list the house for us."
   John sat straight up in his chair. "I'm sorry. She's going to what!?"
   Jill decided to press on. "I told you, she's listing the house for us.
John, it's not like we didn't discuss this. Besides, Judy says the market's
artificially high right now. Now's the time to sell, she says, before it takes
an adjustment."
   "Jesus, Jill. Of course she's going to say that...it's her fuckin' job.
What happens when Miss Judy the realtor sells our house and we have two weeks
to get out? Have you and Judy thought of that?"
   "Yes, we have. We move into one of those corporate apartments in the area,
keep the kids in the same schools and start building our new house. The rent
on the apartment is roughly the same as our house payment right now. All our
stuff goes into storage until the house is done. It's all in the contingency
block in the contract to list our house."
   John stood up. He was clearly enraged. "CONTRACT!? Don't tell me you signed
a contract! What the fuck has gotten into you? You stupid bitch...you can't
just sign a contract!" Despite the hot temper ruling his emotions at the
moment, John knew he had just crossed a very clear line. No matter how much
Jill may have messed up, John had just overridden any of her transgressions by
using the language and tone that he just did. He wanted to take it back but
instead continued, "We'll just have to void it, that's all. Jill, we can't
sell this house. Not now."
   When he finished, she said nothing. He could tell, though, she was
seething. Her lower jaw was stuck out and her eyes were narrowed and focused
on a part of the wall just over his shoulder. She'd have gladly kicked him in
the groin had she been on her feet facing him.
   John decided to keep going but in a softer, more reasoning tone. "Jill,
honey, we can't list the house. It's too soon despite what the market may be
doing. We won't even be able to use my, uh, our stock for a year or more. In
fact, I just learned today that we won't be public for probably three more
months. Then, there's a waiting period after that. Come on, honey. We've
talked about all this." 
   Jill sat silent and just stared at the wall. She was so angry with him that
she didn't want to respond. However, she resolved to make one last little
speech before she went up to their room and locked the door behind him. "Don't
you ever, EVER call me that again." Her voice was almost an octave lower than
her normal speaking tone. "I don't care if I accidentally burned this house to
the ground, I don't ever want to hear words like that out of your mouth again.
Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME, JOHN PATTERSON!? You asshole! You think you
can sweet-talk me into going out with you this weekend to live out your little
fantasy and then talk to me like that? It'll be a cold day in hell when I ever
do anything like that with you!" Jill couldn't bring herself to say, smoke for
you and let you fuck me. She didn't have to. He knew what she meant.
   John couldn't believe the way he had overreacted. Had he been thinking
clearly, all he would've had to do was say, we can't list the house now. Let's
just void the agreement. But no. The built up pressure from his day at the
office had conspired against him and he unloaded it all on poor Jill. Now he
was in a terrible mess. Not only was his wife irretrievably mad but he had
just blown what would've been the best weekend with Jill imaginable. "Jill,
look, I'm sorry...."
   She stood up from the table. "Go to hell." Then, she left the room.
   
   
   13. The 'Vacation'
   
   Jenni fell in love with California from the moment she left the San
Francisco International Airport and pointed her rental car towards Interstate
280 and then south to San Jose. The rolling green hills and sparkling lakes
that lined the beautiful freeway made the drive one of the most picturesque in
all of the Bay Area. As she approached Woodside, she saw huge pastures
sparsely populated with horses and lavish stable buildings. She could hardly
believe so many people lived among all this farm country.
   Jenni lit her second Virginia Slims as she passed under the Sand Hill Road
overpass. Smoke flowed from her mouth and nose then drifted out the partially
opened driver's window. She found she really enjoyed smoking while driving -
especially in traffic. It kept her calm and gave her something to do with her
free hand. Some people talked on their cell phones, some drank big safety
containers full of coffee and some smoked. Jenni had always been fidgety in a
car. Smoking seemed to stop her fidgeting and made her feel better, perhaps
more confident. Whatever the reason, this was something she would continue to
do, she reasoned, as she started another luxurious puff and coated her sinuses
with the sweet tasting menthol smoke.
   Jenni didn't have a solid plan when she arrived in San Francisco. She knew
that her original purpose was to visit John but she felt like she wanted to
sightsee and meet other people as well. She was taking a week off from Delta
and even investigating the possibility of moving to the Bay Area and basing
herself in either SFO or San Jose. At least that's what she told herself were
the real reasons for her journey westward. She was in no big hurry to see John
today or tomorrow. God, he doesn't even know I'm coming, she reminded
herself.
   The fact was, no one knew Jenni was in California except Tina. And Jenni
didn't know a soul in California other than John. Her family was from Georgia
and except in connection with her job she had never been west of the
Mississippi -- until today. Rather than feeling intimidated by all this, Jenni
smiled and buoyed herself by placing a fresh VS between her lips and lighting
up a third time since getting in the car.
   She knew she was smoking more but didn't feel too concerned at the moment.
After all, I just started a few months ago, she reasoned. Still, smoking was
new territory for Jenni. No one in her family had smoked. And probably because
of it, she had not told her parents or three brothers yet. But because of
Tina, and then John, Jenni had taken to smoking very quickly. It wasn't until
a few weeks ago that she finally admitted to herself that she was, in fact, a
smoker. On the surface, Jenni didn't look like a smoker though. She had
developed a wonderful style and inhaled very confidently. But when she wasn't
smoking, no one would suspect that this wholesome, yet beautiful 28-year-old
Delta flight attendant with the lovely blond hair, large blue eyes and perfect
complexion was smoking an entire pack of Virginia Slims Menthol Lights a day.
   Jenni purposely exhaled a thin stream of smoke towards the driver's window.
She pushed her sunglasses up above her forehead and studied the map resting on
the passenger seat next to her. She had stopped the car on an off-ramp and was
trying to locate the turn-off for her hotel. Suddenly, she felt an
overpowering sensation of loneliness and panic. God, what am I doing? Here I
am, all alone in a strange state searching for....for what? Love? Power? A new
job? What?! She felt an urge to cry but quickly repressed it. Instead, she
took a long six second puff on her cigarette and inhaled. She actually could
see the dense ball of smoke protrude from her mouth before pulling it back
deep into her chest. She quickly was made aware of the smoke as it traveled
into her lungs. It felt heavy. Nonetheless, she savored it. Her body welcomed
the effects of the massive hit of nicotine. As she exhaled through her nose
and watched the smoke spread out over the map, she started another long puff
and held it deep inside. This little smoking diversion was helping her cope
with her bout of fear. She leaned her head back on the headrest and exhaled
her second puff with her eyes closed. Her head was spinning and her
extremities were very tingly. She noticed her fingers were mildly shaking.
Still, it felt deservedly rich and very pleasurable. Jenni was relaxed and her
confidence was rapidly rebounding. Her last thought before she started her car
engine and dropped her spent cigarette out the window was, why didn't I
discover this sooner?
   
   "There it is," she said aloud in her rental car. Jenni had been in
California for three days and had finally gotten the nerve up to drive out to
John's house. It was easy to find. She had looked up his address and phone
number on the Internet before she left Atlanta. The People Locator on the
Yahoo webpage even provided a map to the house. Imagine that. Jenni felt like
she was 'Big Brother' or something. She wanted to deny that she was stalking
him - that she was only curious, but what she was about to do demonstrated
much more than average female curiosity.
   This was actually the second time in 30 minutes that Jenni had pulled up to
the house. When she had first arrived, she noticed a big "Offered By Coldwell
Banker" sign in the front yard. The sign surprised her but it had also given
her a fiendishly clever idea. Now, here she was, for a second time sitting
outside the house in her rented 1999 Oldsmobile Alero. 
   The house was gorgeous. It was a large two-story construction built
probably 20 or 30 years ago with beautifully maintained bright yellow wood
trim that highlighted the white stucco siding. It was set far back from the
street by a generous-sized, perfectly manicured lawn. There were numerous
trees surrounding the walkway leading to the mahogany wood and leaded glass
front door. A large, well-placed weeping willow dominated the rear of the
yard. It was a glorious house that seemed to mock her tiny condo back in
Dunwoody, an area north of Atlanta. Why would anyone want to move from this
paradise? Oh well, we'll find out soon enough, won't we? She giggled to
herself.
   It was a pleasant early afternoon. Jenni listened to the birds chirping as
she made her way to the front door. She guessed John's wife would be home as
she noticed a big GMC Suburban in the driveway. There was a small possibility
that John himself could be home but she doubted it. It was a Tuesday and the
woman that had answered his office phone said he was in a meeting. Jenni felt
safe yet butterflies danced in her stomach. She needed a cigarette.
   The woman that answered the door was attractive. She had short blond hair
layered on the sides and combed straight in the back. Her attire resembled a
stylish tennis outfit. She wore a short white skirt and a matching
blue-striped blouse with some colorful Reebok Cross Trainers. She looked up at
Jenni and smiled, "Yes?"
   "Oh, yes. Hello. Mrs. Patterson?"
   "Yes."
   "Hi. I'm, uh, Margo Martinez from RE/Max Realty. I noticed your listing
yesterday and think I have some, uh, clients that may be interested in looking
at your house." Jenni handed Jill a business card that she had just swiped
from the local RE/Max office only minutes ago.
   "Oh. That'd be great. By the way, call me Jill." They shook hands. "Have
you been in touch with Judy Walker at Coldwell Banker? She's our realtor."
   Jenni paused. What should I say? "Uh, no. I just noticed your house from
the street and instantly could see that it would be perfect for them. If you
don't mind, I'd like to just look it over and set up an appointment maybe
later in the week. Would that be okay?"
   Jill sensed this woman, Margo, must be new to real estate sales. Not only
was her approach a bit unorthodox but she also appeared young and nervous.
Still, Jill wanted to trust her. She seemed sincere. "Sure. Come on in. Let me
show you around...that is, unless you'd like to just browse yourself."
   "No, no. Please, come with me. You certainly know the house better than
I."
   They viewed the house together. Jenni gushed at all the lovely features and
décor. She was especially impressed with the pool in the backyard. They
finished their tour at the patio next to the pool. As they sat down at the
umbrella-covered table, Jill offered to get them some iced-tea. Jenni said
that'd be great.
   Sitting alone, Jenni was wondering what to do next. She had looked long and
hard in the master bedroom upstairs. She lingered in the master closet and had
gotten so close to John's hanging suits that she actually tried to sniff them.
Now, she started to recall their last time together in Fort Lauderdale.
   "Sugar in your tea?"
   Jenni jumped. "Oh! You scared me." Then she began to laugh.
   "Sorry," said Jill. "I didn't add sugar but brought some out with me." She
set a tall glass of tea in front of Jenni then sat down with one of her own.
   "Thank you." Jenni declined the sugar. "So Jill, what have you decided to
list the house at?"
   "Oh, didn't you get that off the MLS? Or are we not in the MLS yet? We are
a fairly new listing."
   Jenni didn't have a clue what MLS was. "Uh, I don't think you're in the MLS
yet. At least, I couldn't get the price."
   "What do you mean you couldn't get the price? Are you saying the listing's
there but not the price?" Jill was sounding agitated.
   "No. Nothing like that. As I said earlier, I was just driving by the house
and noticed the sign. I've done no homework on this one. Sorry." Now Jenni was
agitated. Again, she felt a growing need to smoke.
   "Oh, okay." Jill was calm again. She sipped her tea then said, "We're
asking $625,000."
   Jenni was sipping her tea and just about choked. "Six hundred and twenty
five thousand?!" she exclaimed.
   Normally, this reaction might have worried Jill. Maybe we're asking too
much, she might've thought -- but not coming from this 'Margo'. "Yes. Will
your clients have a problem with that?"
   "Oh, I'm sorry Jill. You have a truly lovely home, just lovely. Don't get
me wrong. It's just that where I come from, a house like this would list for
about half your asking price."
   Now Jill was indignant. "And just where is THAT?"
   Jenni was starting to feel sorry that she ever attempted this little
shenanigan in the first place. She was in way over her head with this woman
who seemed to know a lot about real estate. She was tempted to confess that
she was an imposter. "I'm from Georgia." Jenni had made a successful attempt
to mask her soft accent earlier but now started to resume her regular voice.
"I just moved out here this month (Ah jest moved out heah this month), and I'm
trying to get established in selling real estate. I have no prior experience
and I just finished the class and got my license this week. You're my first
contact (Yo-uh mah fi-st contact)."
   Jill softened. The story seemed plausible and besides, she was starting to
feel sorry for her. What would make someone pull up stakes (presumably by
herself), travel out to California and try to break into the real estate sales
market? She let out a laugh. "Oh my. Yes, I'm sure that the real estate prices
out here are quite a shock. Atherton is one of the most expensive places to
live on the Peninsula with the exception of some areas of Woodside and most of
Hillsborough."
   "I'm certainly finding that out quick enough." Jenni tried to follow Jill's
laugh.
   "We paid just a little under $400,000 for this house ten years ago. We
thought it was over-priced then. And it needed a lot of work."
   "It looks truly lovely. You've done a marvelous job with it."
   "Thanks."
   "I think you'll get your asking price no problem, Jill"
   "Where are you clients from? Hopefully around here or they too will be in
for a shock."
   "No, they are from out of town. Now that I know you're asking price, I
think I will have to direct them farther up, or would it be down, the
Peninsula?"
   "It's expensive either way. But there are pockets of nice homes scattered
around that are not quite in this range. Try Palo Alto or Mountain View. It
starts to get expensive again as you get closer to the Silicon Valley. You
know, like Sunnyvale, Cupertino, Saratoga."
   Jenni was impressed with Jill's knowledge. "Gosh, Jill. You should be the
one in real estate. It sounds like you know quite a lot."
   Jill blushed. "You know, I've considered it. Our girls are getting older
and I know this area like the back of my hand. I grew up in San Mateo and went
to college over in Berkeley."
   Jenni changed the subject back to their house. "Where do you and your
husband plan to move once the house sells?"
   This was a touchy subject for Jill. John had actually forbid her to list
the house but since he was no longer sharing her bed and was gone at work most
of the time anyway, Jill had let Judy-the-realtor go ahead and put the house
on the market. If they got the asking price, Jill figured John wouldn't mind.
Besides, the way she was feeling about him now, maybe they would have to sell
the house anyway. She frowned. "Oh, we'd eventually like to build a custom
home up in the hills around Woodside. I guess in the interim, we may have to
live in one of those executive apartments or something if you guys do your job
and sell the house quickly."
   Jenni remembered Woodside from her drive down from the airport. "Wow,
Woodside? You mean among all that horse property and rolling hills? It's
beautiful up there."
   Jill smiled as she gazed across the pool. "Yeah, that's the place." Then
she looked directly at Jenni and asked, "Say, would you like something a
little stronger than tea? Maybe some white wine? Or something else?"
   Jenni was surprised. "Sure. I guess. What are you having?"
   "I was thinking that a nice chilled glass of Chardonnay would go well right
now. Would you care for some?"
   "That does sound good. I'd love some." Jenni wondered why Jill was all of a
sudden being so friendly.
   "Great. I'll be right back." Jill went through the sliding glass door and
into the kitchen.
   I wonder if she'd mind if I smoked? thought Jenni. After all, they were
outside. And the urge for another cigarette was growing stronger with each
passing minute.
   Jill made her way back to poolside with two very large glasses of white
wine.
   "My God, Jill. Those glasses are huge! Who's going to drink all that wine?"
Jenni smiled.
   "You and I," Jill stated rather flatly but then smiled back.
   Jenni felt the time was right. Jill was starting to open up. After she took
a big sip from her glass, she asked, "Jill, would you mind terribly if I
smoked? I've just been a bundle of nerves all day what with this new job and
all..."
   Jill finished a sip of her own wine, wiped the corner of her lip, then
said, "Sure. Go ahead. Be my guest." Normally, Jill would've been put off by a
new guest that smoked but given the recent set of circumstances with Brittany
and her subsequent discussion with John, she didn't mind at all.
   "Oh, thank you." Jenni sighed in relief and reached into her purse. "Do you
smoke? Would you like to join me?" She knew the answer would be no.
   Jill thought for a moment. Here's the perfect opportunity. Kids gone.
Outside. Social situation. What the hell! Why not? I might as well. "Sure. I'd
love to join you." She wondered if she could remember how to smoke.
   Jenni was surprised but slid a cigarette out of the green and gray-striped
pack for herself then passed it over to Jill. She used her Bic to light her
cigarette first then reached across to Jill. Jill did appear slightly awkward
with the Virginia Slims resting between her lips but accepted the light
nonetheless. Jenni watched as Jill drew on the cigarette then removed it from
her mouth without inhaling.
   Feeling a little self-conscious, Jill said, "You know, I haven't smoked
since college." Then she began her first real puff and inhaled just a bit. To
her surprise, it felt remarkably familiar.
   Jenni spoke, "When was that? About five years ago?"
   Jill laughed after exhaling. "Oh, I like you. You ARE in sales, aren't you?
Actually, I graduated when I was 22. That was something like 16 years ago."
Jill started another puff and inhaled slightly deeper this time. She looked
down at her VS Menthol Light and said, "You know, this isn't bad. I was
expecting bitter but this is actually good. And it seems milder than I
remember." The smile on Jill's face gave further evidence of her sincerity.
   Jenni showed her the pack. "These are Lights. You probably smoked a
full-flavor brand if it was back in the '70's." Then Jenni marveled, "You know
Jill, you certainly don't look 38. Honest."
   Jill blushed again. "Thanks. I try to work out three times a week but I
don't always seem to succeed. I have so many activities that revolve around
the kids."
   Jenni took a puff of her own. She wanted to show Jill that she was an
accomplished smoker so she drew extra-long. She purposely let Jill see the
thick smoke swirl in her mouth before she sucked it down. The feel in her
chest was reminiscent of her experience in the car a few days ago. The smoke
felt heavy but wonderful resting in her lungs. Jenni let about half of it go
before taking a sip of her wine. Then she exhaled the rest in Jill's direction
after setting her glass back down. She noticed that smoke continued to come
out even after a third and fourth push. "Does your husband smoke, Jill?"
   Jill frowned. She didn't want to think about John. "Oh, he tries it now and
then. Usually at parties. He even has an occasional cigar with 'the boys'. But
neither of us are into it. God, you can't smoke too many places in California
these days." Then she remembered Brittany. I wonder if she's still smoking?
"How about you, 'Margo'? When did you start?"
   Jenni almost didn't recognize her alias. "Oh, not even long...about several
months I guess."
   Jill was shocked yet intrigued. "Several months? I didn't think anyone just
'started' smoking these days. How old are you? Twenty-six?"
   "Close. I'm 28. I started smoking on weekends with this girl that works --
I mean worked," she corrected herself, "with me. We were flight attendants and
she smoked every chance she'd get between flights. Anyway, when we were on a
layover, we'd go out to a bar or something. And after a few drinks, I'd smoke
with her. She got me started." Jenni grinned to herself and wanted to add, but
your husband got me hooked.
   Jill sort of sighed in response. She looked like she was really enjoying
her smoking experience. Her inhales were approaching normal as were the length
of her puffs.
   After finishing their big glasses of wine, Jill filled them again which
pretty much emptied the bottle. The two of them sat back in their chairs,
laughing and smoking until almost 4 PM.
   
   "So tell me...what are you going to do when your husband comes home and
sees you smoking and drinking with this strange woman?" Jenni asked, then
laughed awkwardly.
   "Screw him!" Jill joined Jenni in the laughter. They both were feeling very
relaxed, almost giddy because of the wine. Jill had been matching Jenni's
cigarette consumption, practically one for one. "I'm mad at that bastard
anyway," she said before beginning another puff.
   Jenni wondered what they had been fighting about. Me? Not likely. "When
does he usually get home?"
   "Oh, about midnight." Jill laughed again. "No, not really, but he won't be
home before dark. He's married to that damn job of his. Plus, his company's
trying to go public soon so he's putting in even longer hours."
   The two continued their conversation for another half-hour. Jill had to
quickly extinguish her cigarette when Kyle walked in the door from school.
Jenni kept smoking to show Kyle that this was the reason for the smoke in the
air as well as all the butts in the makeshift ashtray - which was a small
dessert plate.
   Jill introduced Kyle to 'Margo' then asked her to go back inside and start
her homework. Jenni felt that it was time to leave. The kids were coming home
and surely enough, the husband will follow. She stood up and thanked Jill for
the wonderful afternoon. She felt she had found a friend yet realized that
they could never really BE friends. There were already too many lies and an
adulterous affair between them. And poor Jill had no idea. Jenni was feeling
remorseful. Goddamn it! Why did I come over here? This was all wrong. What was
I thinking? Again, she was tempted to confess part of her real story to Jill.
Their budding friendship almost demanded it. "Jill, I....I, well, just wanted
to thank you again. I feel like you....oh, shit." Jenni immediately reached
out to hug Jill. Both women embraced each other very firmly. There was a
genuine and mutual affinity enhanced maybe a bit by the wine.
   "It's okay," Jill whispered in her ear. "We'll get together again. Call me.
Or, I'll call you. I have your card."
   Jenni rolled her eyes and thought, 'my card' indeed. "Okay." She looked
down at her cigarette, which was almost gone, then raised it to her lips. She
took a leisurely puff and showed Jill the smoke pop in her mouth. 
   Jill was standing barely two feet away. She quickly glanced at the sliding
door to see if Kyle was near then took the cigarette from Jenni's fingers and
began a long puff. She inhaled loudly enough to be heard and sent the smoke
into the far reaches of her lungs. She smiled at Jenni and reached out to hug
her again. As they embraced a second time, she heard Jill reluctantly exhale
her smoke over her shoulder. 
   
   When Jenni got back to her hotel room at the Courtyard Marriott in
Sunnyvale, she was trying to assimilate her meeting with Jill. Had it achieved
her objectives? She thought so but it had also accomplished a lot more than
she had bargained for. She went for the purpose of seeing John's house and
just how much he was worth. And, God, he's probably worth millions if his
company is going public and he's the Number 3 guy there, as he had told her.
She never really planned to spend an afternoon, get mildly drunk and befriend
the wife (who she was supposed to hate). Plus, she had gotten Jill to smoke!
That was the last thing she wanted to do. That could really backfire. It would
potentially dilute the power she would have over John.
   She walked over to her purse to retrieve her cigarettes. As she flipped the
lid on the box, she noticed there were only six left. Six? She did a quick
calculation and figured that between she and Jill, they must've smoked twelve
on her patio. She had had two in the car from the fresh pack before arriving.
Wow, Jill smoked at least half of those twelve. Plus, she was inhaling as
deeply as I was. Shit. That did not make Jenni feel good. She reached in her
pack and pulled out one from the remaining six and lit it. As she inhaled her
first puff, she was reminded just how good it made her feel to do this. Back
when she resolved in her mind that she was a 'smoker', she told herself that
she was going to smoke a cigarette whenever her body asked for one. She knew
some people (and at times, even Tina) that were always trying to cut down.
They'd deprive themselves of cigarettes and try to budget their smoking
throughout the day. Jenni knew she was not organized enough to do that or even
sure she wanted to. Smoking was satisfying, rewarding and fun. She was happy
to surrender to her body's needs when it was time to smoke again. Lately, she
found herself submitting to her habit almost 25 times a day, and that number
was still increasing relentlessly.
   "Se la vie." she said aloud to the empty hotel room before starting another
long puff. This was another mannerism that Jenni noted about her own smoking
style. She had been prolonging the length her of puffs, especially during the
first half of the cigarette. Some lasted as long as five seconds. When she
wanted more, she'd perform a double pump. She'd never smoke like this in
public but when she was alone and wanted to de-stress, she had become
convinced that this was the best therapy she knew.
   The sun had set and the room was getting dark. Earlier, the low light
coming through the window had illuminated a heavy, smoky haze floating and
drifting in the room. Even between cigarettes, Jenni would notice it and
breathe in deeply. It had a wonderful smell. Now in the quickly darkening
room, Jenni reached up and flipped on the high-intensity reading lamp that
hung over the big easy chair that she was relaxing in. She moved the beam off
of her face and pointed it towards her lap. When she exhaled her next puff
under the light, she was captivated by how much smoke the lamp illuminated as
it exited her mouth. She tried another long puff. It was amazing! She never
knew just how much smoke was not visible in normal, ambient light. Even after
two initial exhales on a single puff, her third and fourth exhales would
actually get more dense. Then, after about the fifth or sixth exhale, the
smoke started to wane again. This new development was fun. Jenni continued to
smoke under the spot of the lamp and became almost hypnotized as she watched
it leave her body time after time.
   Despite the entertainment that smoking alone was providing, Jenni was
starting to feel low again. Her wine had worn off and she was not sure what
her next move should be. Before driving to Jill's this afternoon, she had
called the local Delta Operations Center and confirmed that there were three
San Francisco-based flight crews that could use a flight attendant. So, if she
wanted a job in the Bay Area, there were spaces available. Before meeting
Jill, she was ecstatic with this news. From what she had seen so far, she
loved California. Settling here would be a nice change. She had even
fantasized about marrying John and moving down to Woodside. Now, after meeting
Jill, her plan had been derailed. She suspected that after playing her little
'Margo' routine, that she could never face Jill with her true identity.
   Jenni took another long puff and after inhaling, watched the smoke leave
her body in an endless series of exhales. It was at this moment that she
decided she would drive to Ilex in the morning and confront John.

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