The English Way, Part 1

(by, 16 January 2002)

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English Way, Part 1 of 2

    Special thanks to StogieMon, who provided technical input for this story.

    'Well, are you almost ready ? We only have three hours until the party 
starts.' Karen said, teasing her friend.
    'Are you sure you don't mind me borrowing your dress ?' Brenda asked.
    'If you don't mind wearing black leather on a night like this, of course 
not. You look stunning. Now light a cigarette and let's see what the full 
effect is going to be.'
    Brenda took the pack on the table, pulled a VS 120 out and lit it 
gracefully. She pursed her lips and let go a milky white exhale. The smoke 
poured forth in a most alluring fashion.
    'I think,' Karen said, lighting a cigarette of her own, 'that I'm going 
to let you keep that dress. I never looked as good as you do in it.'
    'I couldn't.'
    'Yes you can. It was a gift to begin with- you don't think I could 
afford that on a teacher's salary, do you ? It's a size too big for me to 
fill out the chest area, but you are doing just great.'
    'Karen !'
    Pulling sharply on her cigarette, Karen released a voluminous cloud of 
smoke. 'Hey, flaunt what you've got. But honestly, I don't think we're 
going to have to worry about you finding someone to bring home tonight. The 
question you'll find yourself faced with is which of the many offers you'll 
be getting that you'll want to take.'
    'Oh stop.'
    Karen trimmed, inhaled, smoking casually before she spoke again. 'I am 
being serious.'
    'It's not like you look dumpy in that red low low-cut dress, Karen. If I 
were a guy I'd pick you in an heartbeat.'
    Karen pulled at the material over her left breast, resettling the silk. 
It was her best dress and unlike the one Brenda was wearing she had bought it 
with her own hard-earned money.
    'Well, let's hope we both bring home someone, then.'
    'As long as you don't bring home Sean, I think that's a great idea.'
    The two women hugged and Karen started to think this all might just work 
out after all.

    Teresa was sitting in her father's big easy chair. Brittany was standing 
by the television, holding both a cigarette and the digital camera. Her dad 
was sitting on the couch, lounging and smoking one of his own cigars.
    'You did a great job with the plug cutter, honey. See the advantage of it 
    'Well, snipping or biting off the end would leave the tobacco in the tip 
exposed and I'd be picking it off my tongue, which doesn't strike me as very 
    'Exactly. You'll still be able to draw the smoke down through the cigar, 
heating the leaves of tobacco. What will that allow for ?'
    Brittany raised her free hand and then used it to bring the cigarette to 
her lips. She inhaled and then spoke.
    'That heats the tobacco leaves and enriches the flavour, right ?'
    'Precisely. Now Teresa, put the cigar in your mouth and take your hand 
    She did as she was told and Brittany snapped a picture.
    'Feel the way it sits there ? I'm not a fan of a woman holding a 
cigarette in her mouth like that. What do you think, Brittany ?'
    'It looks cheap. I mean, I've seen some women who can pull it off but I 
know that when I try it, it looks miserable. And if you have to talk, the 
cigarette bounces up and down and the ash goes everywhere. It looks like 
you're too busy to really take the fact that you are smoking seriously.'
    'That's right. Wanda never does that. She knows how much I hate it and 
that's not her style anyway. Even when she is doing something else she pays 
very close attention to her smoking. But a cigar is different. I think you 
can leave a cigar in your mouth sometimes, although I still think an hold is 
preferable. And because of the cigar's size, your hold options are enhanced.'
    Teresa took the cigar from her mouth and held it between thumb and the 
first two fingers. 'Like this. This looks fine to me, but I would never hold 
a cigarette this way. Only guys hold a cigarette that way.'
    'Mike does that sometimes. He basically hides the cigarette with his 
other fingers and I think it looks stupid. I've asked him not to do that 
because it really bugs me. I don't want to sound vain, but I think his 
smoking has gotten a lot easier to watch since I started up again.'
    'Well,' Donald said, 'that's why there's a lot of guys who I think 
should take up cigar smoking and not smoke cigarettes. They look cheesy and t
hey don't seem to know it. I'm as pro-smoking as they come but I can't 
stand to see anyone- male or female- manhandling a cigarette. It's so obvious 
that it's an habit as opposed to an enjoyable experience. The funny thing 
about a cigar is that a man can look masculine doing it and a woman can look 
    'Now, I think it's time that my little girl lit that cigar. Let's review 
the basics, T.'
    'Light the cigar slowly. Don't let the flame singe the tobacco. Just use 
the heat to kind of smolder the tobacco to life. I have to keep puffing on 
the cigar as I'm lighting it. Just because I get a small draw of smoke off 
the cigar doesn't mean I've properly lit it. Once it's burning I have to 
keep the ash trimmed. It's a little like keeping the fire going in the 
fireplace. It's not like a cigarette that will just keep burning no matter 
what and if it has to be lit again later on I shouldn't feel too bad because 
that's what happens sometimes.'
    'Do you want me to light it for you ?' Donald asked
    'No, I'll try it. I can't come home every time I want my cigar lit, can 
I ?'
    'Well you can, but it's not convenient and it won't help you at the 
smoker. Fire it up and Brittany, get ready to record it all for prosperity."
    Teresa flicked the lighter to life and started to light her first cigar.

    Sean looked at Anna and smiled. She was so fucking beautiful. She was 
holding an unlit cigarette in one hand and her lighter in the other.
    She brought the lighter up and lit the cigarette with an unwavering hand, 
then pulled deeply on it. As she exhaled through her nose he thought about 
how desperately he wanted to fuck. No, check that. He wanted to make love, he 
wanted her to have the first orgasm and scream out his name in that way that 
she did while her nails and teeth were digging into his flesh, consuming him, 
drinking him in while he throbbed inside her. It was like living a different 
    And then memory took over and she saw that look in his eyes.
    'What are you thinking of ?' she asked, her impossibly British accent 
coming from the mouth of a face all too beautiful to be as English as she 
was. No, that was American hubris opining on the beauty of English women- she 
was proof of how gorgeous an English girl could be.
    'I was thinking about the first time I saw you standing outside the 
office lighting a cigarette and how I was wishing my interview was with you.'
    'I remember it like it was yesterday. You Americans, wearing your 
emotions on your face all the time. You wanted me.'
    They had had this discussion before but neither of them tired of it.
    'Of course I did. And when you did walk into the interview room, still 
smelling of smoke and musk, I wanted you. Of course, you weren't the one who 
was going to hire me, you were just there to ask tough questions.'
    'Which you answered like a champion. And then you went off and dated some 
gorgeous American instead of me.'
    'You wouldn't give me the time of day !'
    Anna exhaled, drank some wine, inhaled and exhaled again. 'That's 
British reserve. I always wanted you. If you hadn't been so damn obvious from 
day one about your intentions towards me you might have had me sooner.'
    'Is that it then ?'
    She walked over to him and tousled his hair with one hand while drawing 
on her cigarette.
    'Of course not. It wasn't until you stopped being my devoted love puppy 
that I realised how nice it might be to have you. You made it too easy at the 
outset, but once you provided me a challenge, I was interested. It's the 
English way, to hang on in quite desperation. You started dating Brenda and I 
felt desperate suddenly. Good move.'
    'Well, that was the plan all along,' he joked, and then he kissed her 
while her mouth was full of smoke, which she filled his mouth with.
    'Be honest with me. If she was a smoker, would you have kept me in the 
back of your mind ?'
    'Do you want an honest answer or a pretty lie ?'
    'Pretty lies are for Trent Reznor. The truth.'
    Unbelievably they had never been here before.
    'No. That was the difference in the end. Every time I saw you standing 
outside the office, smoking, I wanted that one thing I didn't have. But that 
was then. Now I know that smoking or not, the things I love about you are 
more important than the things I loved about her. She would have been good 
enough if you hadn't of been so much fucking better. I look at you and I want 
to be with you because of who you are. And then you light a cigarette and I 
want to make love to you so badly it hurts when I can't. I love you, Anna.'
    He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out the box. He got down on 
one knee, opened the box and took out the ring.
    'Will you marry me ?'
    'Well, that's an interesting change of subject. From your ex-girlfriend 
to 'will you marry me'. This isn't just because we're going to an engagement 
party, is it ?'
    'Talk about answering a question with a question !'
    'Yes, I'll marry you.' She slipped the ring onto her finger.
    He stood up and kissed her, enjoying the smoky taste of her mouth.
    'You've made me very happy, Anna.'
    'I should hope so,' she said, drawing on her cigarette and then offering 
it to him. He drew on it and their smoke mixed. 'Now I just hope it stops 
snowing so I can pretend to not be trying to get everyone to see this awesome 

    Teresa exhaled a thick cloud of blue-grey cigar smoke and smiled.
    'You know, I like this.'
    Donald smiled. She really was a natural. She'd smoked half the cigar 
without choking herself, without having to relight, and she'd clearly enjoyed 
it, which was the most important part.
    'What about you, Brittany ? Want to take a puff ?'
    'If you'll take a picture for Mike, sure.' She traded the camera for the 
cigar, holding it between her thumb and two fingers. She brought it to her 
mouth slowly, opened her lips and placed it dead centre. She closed down 
around it, drew in a small amount of smoke and held it as she moved the cigar 
away from her closed mouth. She then opened her lips wide and rounded and 
blew the smoke gently out.
    'Wow, that's different. But it's kind of cool. I don't know if I could 
smoke a whole cigar, but it's a lot nicer than I thought.'
    She took a second puff and then handed the cigar back to Teresa, after 
which she lit another cigarette.
    Donald tapped ash from his own cigar and asked Brittany to take a 
father-daughter picture.
    They both planted their cigars in their mouth and Brittany snapped three 
pictures of them smoking together.
    'You're so cool,' she said to Donald. "If my father saw me puffing on a 
cigar he'd probably have a coronary on the spot.'
    'Well, I've been smoking cigars for fifteen years now and I'm just glad 
Teresa can enjoy that with me. You're adults now and if you can't enjoy 
smoking without getting grief from a parent, that's too bad. Teresa has given 
me an early Christmas present. Thanks for coming over and being a part of it.'
    'Well, Teresa's idea to start a smoking club was so awesome. And you're 
only a freshman- I can't imagine what kind of things you'll be coming up 
with once you're settled in.'
    She went to snap one more picture but the memory card was full. The 
camera beeped. Teresa heard it and knew just what that meant.
    'Sounds like it's time to start emailing those pics.'
    The snow was letting up as predicted and Jessica felt a weight lifted 
from her shoulders. It was replaced with another, however. While the snow had 
been coming down there had been that vague possibility there would be no 
party. Now- as she looked out the window a plow clattered by up the street- 
the certainty that the party would go on brought a new sense of worry.
    Phil circled her waist with his arms.
    'How can you be so calm ?'
    'Sex has the strangest way of doing that to me,' Phil quipped. 'Besides, 
you're nervous enough for both of us. The reason we're having this at the 
bar is so someone else can worry about everything. All we have to do is show 
up and not act like idiots. I figure I have at least a fifty-fifty chance 
    'Well, the good news is that the minute the party is over, we can start 
planning in earnest for the wedding, which is the real kicker.'
    'Come over to the couch and sit down and we'll get you nice and relaxed 
for the party.'
    Jessica let Phil lead her over to the couch. He sat her down, picked up 
her pack of cigarettes, pulled a long white cigarette from the pack, and 
worked his way onto the couch behind her, straddling he. She nestled up 
against him and he brought the cigarette to her lips and then lit it. She 
greedily pulled on it, arched her head and exhaled. He put it back to her 
mouth and she drew again and then picked up the ashtray. She held it close to 
her, he reached down and trimmed the cigarette, took a draw of his own, and 
then offered it to her again. This time her inhale was deeper and she turned 
her head back towards him. They kissed as she pushed the smoke inside him and 
he exhaled through his nose while kissing him passionately.
    'Starting to relax a little.'
    'Yes. But I need you to do me a favour tonight at the party.'
    'You want me to have sex with you on our table, right ?'
    Jessica elbowed him playfully.
    'No, silly. I just got off the phone with Donna and she and Rick let me 
talk them into allowing Kali to come.'
    'What ? I thought she was coming all along.'
    'Well, that was until this week. They caught her smoking again.'
    'Please. She's what, fifteen or sixteen ?'
    'I can't believe you have a sixteen year old niece.'
    'Well, Donna got pregnant when she was nineteen. Anyway, they still have 
this stupid idea they can stop her from smoking by punishing her every time 
they catch her.'
    'Tell me about it. I told Donna that it was grossly unfair to keep my 
favourite teenager away from me because of a little family squabble and she 
agreed. But I want to make sure that we cure them of their aversion to 
letting Kali smoke tonight.'
    'What's the plan ?'
    Jessica accepted another draw on the cigarette.
    'Weaken the defences and then come at the with a full-frontal assault. 
I'll get them a little drunk and then you get Kali smoking. She absolutely 
adores you-'
    'I thought you found that mildly disturbing, especially since you know I 
enjoy watching her smoke.'
    Another elbow danced off his rib cage.
    'You know that I know that's harmless- or harmless enough, anyway.'
    'She really is a gorgeous little smoker,' he said, still teasing.
    'Well then, you can get your rocks off lighting her up. If you offer her 
a cigarette she won't care if her parents are standing right next to her. You 
get her to smoke and I'll take care of my sister and brother-in-law.'
    'Sounds like a plan I can get into. Do they know that we are the ones who 
first got her to smoke ?'
    'No, they don't. I'm keeping that in reserve. She would never tell them 
and they think it's because all of her friends smoke- which is why she let us 
talk her into trying it in the first place, after all. But I talked to her on 
the phone yesterday and she asked for some help. I didn't say anything 
because I wasn't sure they would let her come tonight. Just remember to let 
me get them drunk first- Donna gets a lot more permissive in general when 
she's had a few drinks- that's how Kali came along in the first place.'
    'That's mean-' Phil said, offering Jessica the cigarette again.
    'Well, it's true. Just follow my lead and try not to get too excited 
when Kali lights up.'
    He hugged her. 'I only have eyes for you.'
    'Please ! I know that's not true. And I don't mind at all, as long it's 
just your eyes.'
    He laughed and kissed her again.

    Teresa opened up CUSeeMe and following Brittany's directions, contacted 
Mike. The picture over the DSL line was fairly clearly and she saw 
immediately why Brittany was in love. Mike was adult handsome, like a man of 
twenty-one even though he was only eighteen.
    'Hey, Brit. What up ?'
    'Did you get the pictures that we sent you ?'
    'Did I ? Am I twice in love as ever ? I can't believe you were smoking a 
cigar !'
    'Well, it was Teresa who was actually smoking it. I just took a couple of 
puffs. I'm guessing that wasn't a turn off ?'
    'Between that and the extra-long cigarettes- VS 120s, I'm guessing- you 
just about made my day !'
    'Just about ?' Brittany asked, lighting a cigarette so that Mike could 
see her. Also within the camera's range Teresa was lighting up.
    'Well, no, you made my day,' he said, leaving something else unsaid.
    'What would have made it better ?'
    'You don't want to know.'
    But Teresa already did. She leaned in close to the camera and exhaled. 
    'I know exactly what you were hoping for.'
    She pulled Brittany close to her, took a long draw on her cigarette, and 
then shocked her by kissing her. She slipped her tongue right in Brittany's 
mouth and the girl responded with her own as Teresa's smoke co-mingled in 
their mouths. The kiss was longer and more passionate than either of them 
expected, but it was just a kiss, sexual without being romantic.
    'That was it,' Mike said. He smile almost reached his ears.
    'So watching your girlfriend make out with another woman is a turn on ?'
    'Another smoker- and you two sharing a smoky kiss. I'm so hard I could 
pop in my pants.'
    'Well, don't less us stop you,' Brittany said, half-serious.
    'No, I'm saving it for tonight. You've earned it.'
    Brittany turned to Teresa. 'He thinks he's doing me a favour.'
    'You are coming back to school, aren't you ?' he asked anxiously.
    'Yes, soon,' Teresa said. 'The snow's letting up so I'll be driving 
back in an hour or so. I won't keep you and Brittany apart now for anything.'
    'That's what I want to hear. I'm looking forward to it.'

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