The French Connection

(by Steve, 12 September 1995)

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Article 2911 of
From: (Steve)
Subject: The French Connection
Date: Tue, 12 Sep 1995 08:48:33 GMT
Organization: Paston Chase Internet
Lines: 98
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Barbara and Laura had been friends ever since Laura had started work
at the company three months earlier. It was inevitable that they
socialised together, especially as Barbara didn't have a steady

Barbara was a committed smoker, since the age of 16 - all of eight
years ago. Laura had experimented with smoking at college, just
socially, and had never really got to grips with it. She probably
consumed about five cigarettes a year, all from friends, mostly at
parties and always very, very mild brands.

It was a Friday night and they had both been out on the town, before
going back to Barbara's for coffee. They were both tired and slightly
worse for drink, but they were happy that the weekend was here.

Laura hadn't smoked that night. She hadn't really thought about it,
but she didn't really want to and Barbara had smoked enough Marlboros
for the pair of them anyway.

They both collapsed onto the couch, brandies in their hands.

"Want a cigarette?" said Barbara, offering the pack of Marlboros to

"No thanks," said Laura, secretly wishing that she had said yes.
Barbara always seemed to get so much enjoyment out of her smoking.
Something Laura envied her for.

Barbara placed a cigarette in mouth and lit it with her gold lighter.
The first drag was small - just to get it going. Then she leaned right
back on the couch dragged hard and long before removing the Marlboro
from her moist, red lips. Laura watched.

Barbara closed her eyes opened her mouth and a tight ball of smoke
emerged gently from her mouth. At the same time she inhaled hard
through her nose and the smoke rushed back into her body, fluttering
quickly over her lip. Then she opened her eyes, pursed her lips and
exhaled it out of her mouth as it moved gently across the room in a
jet-like cloud.

Laura was astonished. "How did you do that?" she said.

"Oh," said Barbara,"It's called a French Inhale - its really quite
relaxing. Do you want to try one?" she said.

Laura had never seen anything like it, but it looked magical, and
Barbara obviously loved it.

"Yeah," she said,"but what do I do?"

Barbara explained the technique, got a mirror from the bedroom and
then passed the pack of cigarettes to Laura, after taking one herself.

Laura cautiously lit the Marlboro, blowing out the smoke without
inhaling it. Then, just how Barbara had showed her and with the mirror
in her lap she tried the first inhale.

Laura dragged hard on the glowing cigarette until her mouth couldn't
expand anymore. Then she inhaled. The smoke hit her throat with a
sensation unlike those she had felt with her mild cigarettes.

She exhaled and was amazed by the density of the thick, creamy smoke
vanishing into the air. She felt slightly giddy, but the taste in her
mouth was good.

"And now for the French Inhale," said Barbara.

Laura repeated the drag, filling her mouth with a much smoke as
possible. Leaning her head back slightly she opened her mouth gently
and sucked hard through her nose. In the mirror she saw wafts of smoke
leaving her mouth and going up her nose - nothing as impressive as
Barbara, but strange anyway.

Her nose tingled and the taste was more pronounced. This time she
exhaled out of her nose, the tingling being more pronounced this time.

Laura practiced her new Inhale in front of the mirror every day for
three weeks. She got to the stage where she had total control over the
smoke. She could make it go up either or both nostrils, either as a
continous, fluffy stream, or, as she really liked, let the smoke hang
in a creamy ball in front of her face before clearing it away with one
hard snort. She liked to exhale the smoke against the mirror watching
it curl back from its surface, reinhaling it as it came back. She even
liked to watch the smoke go backwards down her throat as she
"snatched" it back with a bite.

She even found she could let it appear just outside her mouth, drag it
down to the back of her throat, then let it back for a French inhale
before exhaling it in two jets from her warm nostrils. The smoke was
no longer wispy, but thick and dense as she learned to drag harder and
harder - sucking from her lungs now to fill her mouth and throat much
more than she could do just using her mouth. She dreamed of the
ultimate French Inhale - of inhaling her boyfriend's smoke up one
nostril as he opened HIS mouth.

Laura had become a Smoke Wizard... and it drove the men wild!

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