Hell Weekend | |
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Hell Weekend "I don't know," she said, glaring at me while mulling over my request. "This whole thing has been a disaster from the very get go. You know how I feel about smoking and I was very disappointed when you told me that you planned to quit. Then you asked ME, of all people, for help with your plan to quit as a New Years Resolution. If you'll remember, I didn't want to get involved," she reminded me with some noticeable tension in her voice. She lit a cigarette and drew deeply on it before exhaling a thick cloud of smoke toward my face. "How long has it been since your first indiscretion?" she asked rhetorically. Meanwhile, the cloud of smoke engulfed my face, before dissipating into the air. "It was only two months into your resolution when I caught you with a pack of cigarettes," she said. "My cigarettes," she emphasized. "You know me better than that," she said sternly. "I don't take responsibilities or promises I make lightly. When you convinced me to help you with your plan to quit, I reluctantly accepted, knowing that if I made the promise to you that I'd have to carry through. Look where that got us. Me having to treat you like a school aged child for smoking without permission. I feel like I'm raising my daughters all over again." I knew what she meant by that comment. When I took the pack she reminded me about punishing her daughters for smoking when they were 12 and 13 respectively. The reason the girls got into trouble wasn't so much for smoking, but for smoking without permission. Michelle had told them from an early age that they could smoke whenever they were ready, but that they must ask permission. So rather than reinvent the wheel, she used the same tactic on me that her two daughters experienced, making me smoke the whole pack of cigarettes in front of her in one sitting. While this wasn't pleasant, it didn't kill me but it did get my attention. What really got my attention was the stern warning when I finished. "This had better not ever happen again. If I have to punish you again it will be the worst experience of your life." Incidentally, both daughters became smokers three years later at ages 15 and 16 with their mother's blessing, after getting up the courage to ask permission. She took another cheek hollowing drag and held the smoke in, almost as though she drew wisdom from the smoke in her lungs, and then she took a long exhale. "Alright, I've given it some thought. Here's my offer, take it or leave it." I listened intently as she revealed her decision. "I have fulfilled my promise to help you and then some," she said. "You are now asking me to forget about your request for help. If you'd like to start smoking again, you must prove it to me. The way you're going to prove it to me is by doing exactly as I tell you to all weekend. If you follow my directions and complete what I tell you to do, then I will be satisfied that I've done everything in my power to discourage you from starting again. If you wish to smoke after that, I would be glad to have you back as a fellow smoker." I was dying to ask what the weekend was all about, but before I could she lit another cigarette and spoke. "If you accept my terms, on Friday before you come home from work you will stop and buy a carton, not a pack, a carton of Tareyton 100's. The rest you will find out then. Tareyton's are not my brand of choice, but have always been Michelle's since I first met her. She once explained that her mother started her on the Tareyton's at age twelve and she has never changed brands. She has of course smoked the occasional other brand of cigarette when without her brand. This is a rare occurrence though; Michelle is a smoker and always thinks ahead. With her two-pack-a-day habit on weekdays and three-a-day habit on weekends, she always has at least two unopened packs in her purse before she leaves home. She always has a spare carton at home when she opens her current carton. At forty-four years old she is still a beautiful woman. A confessed addicted smoker, apparently the cigarettes and diet Coke have been her recipe for success for her absolutely gorgeous body. I had two days to think about it. I didn't really have a lot of choices, I rationalized. I had already been in trouble with her once for taking a pack of cigarettes and smoking them. I had smoked without her knowledge on other occasions. I already had an enormous amount of guilt about that. Plus, if she caught me again she would have a fit and I would feel the wrath. I knew from being with Michelle for so long that Tareyton's were sometimes difficult to find and that she counted on the cigarette store for her supply. On Friday afternoon I stopped at the cigarette shop and asked for a carton of Tareyton 100's. The young lady at the counter gave me an unusual look and said, "Not the brand I would have guessed for you." "Uh, kind of a long story," I mumbled. "I don't close for another hour," the young lady said in what I deemed an inquiring manner. I gave her a quick rundown about how I thought quitting smoking was a good New Year's Resolution and how I was now trying to get out of it. "What is the whole carton for" she asked. "I'm not sure, just following instructions." "Hmmm, I'd bet that you have a long weekend ahead of you." After she collected my money and returned my change, she looked at me and winked and said, "Happy smoking, maybe I'll see you next time when you're not in trouble." Michelle was already at home when I arrived. She noticed the carton in my hand and I saw a little devious smile on her face. "Planning on smoking this weekend?" she inquired. I didn't know what to say, so I said, "Maybe, depends what my girlfriend says." "Good answer," she said while laughing. "Dinner is ready," she said, "Put those cigarettes down on the counter and let's eat." After the dinner dishes were cleaned up she and I retired to the living room where we turned on television and watched Jeopardy. I was on pins and needles since she hadn't mentioned anything about the cigarettes. At about five until seven she finally spoke about the cigarettes. "At 7 o'clock you will begin part one. Get a pack of cigarettes from the carton, an ashtray, grab one of my spare lighters out of the miscellaneous drawer and a glass of water would be recommended." I had gathered all of the items and sat down again on the couch. She said, "You will have two hours and forty minutes to smoke the entire pack of cigarettes," as the clock turned to 7 o'clock, she said, "Starting right now." I smoked and smoked and smoked and smoked for the next two hours and thirty minutes, finishing the final one at 9:31. I was feeling very queasy from the smoking. I was relieved I finished in time, not wanting to mess this up. She didn't waste any time after I finished, before she got up and returned to the living room with another pack and the trash can. She opened the pack with expert precision like she does several times daily with her own packs. She pulled five cigarettes from the pack and held them by the filters in her hand. She handed me the first one and said, "Eat it. Not the filter though, just the tobacco." I placed it into my mouth and started to eat it. I just about got it down before I got sick into the trashcan. The taste was disgusting. I cannot compare it to anything I've ever tasted before or after. As soon as I had a moment to recover she handed me the second one and said, "Eat it". I managed to get this one down and the next two as well. The fifth one caused me to get sick again. "You're done for tonight," she said. Not feeling well I went to bed and slept. She woke me at six o'clock and told me breakfast was ready. We ate and then she said, "Part two begins at seven o'clock, be at the kitchen table with an unopened pack." We repeated the process from the night before, only this time I had ten less minutes. I had to smoke faster than last night. Smoking faster took its toll; I got sick to my stomach at number 18. I did manage to finish in time and then got the same ending as the night before, eating five cigarettes. I was starting to have doubts about my desire to annul the agreement as I was feeling like death warmed over. I ended up taking a nap for about three hours and was woken up by her at one o'clock. "Part three begins at two o'clock," she mentioned. "Better get some lunch in you so that you'll have something in your stomach." I ate a real light lunch. At about 1:45 the doorbell rang, it was her youngest daughter Lindsey. Lindsey came in and her mom asked if she'd eaten, saying there was some extra if she wanted lunch. Lindsey declined, saying she'd just stopped by to visit. Lindsey was twenty-five and not unlike her older sister Stephanie, looked just like her mother. Lindsey lit up one of her Marlboro Light 100's and sat down and talked with her mom. I was overjoyed at the moment - a little reprieve, I thought to myself, hopefully Lindsey will stay for awhile. "What are you guys up to?" Lindsey asked her mother and me. I almost died when Michelle, my girlfriend, nonchalantly told her daughter. "Chris decided he wants to start smoking again, so I am making him prove it and earn it." Lindsey laughed for a moment and then realized her mother was serious. "In fact, he starts part three in about five minutes." I was more than a little bit embarrassed, but what could I do, I wasn't going to give up now, I'd invested too much time and lung power. "Get ready," Michelle ordered, "Another pack, ashtray, lighter, water." I did as I was told and sat down. "Two hours and twenty minutes to finish them this time, starting now." "Oh my god," Lindsey said out loud. "You're making him smoke a whole pack of your nasty Tareyton cigarettes in two hours and twenty minutes?" Michelle laughed "No, he wants to do this and they're his cigarettes, he bought the carton, I just told him what to buy." Lindsey continued talking with her mother, but couldn't help staring at me too. "This is his third pack since Friday night," Michelle added. "Mom, you're going to kill him." "No, he just wishes he was dead," Michelle replied. "He probably already thinks he's in hell," Lindsey retorted. "You're probably right," Michelle said to her daughter, "This is his 'hell weekend'." Then the two laughed and lit up fresh cigarettes. I was smoking away, trying to go faster, but this of course just made me get queasy quicker. Then I noticed Lindsey dialing her cell phone. I could only hear her side of the conversation. "Hey Sis, remember when we were kids and mom caught us smoking? You have to come see this; Mom is making Chris do the same thing so he can get his New Years Quit Smoking Resolution annulled. Cool, see you soon." Great I thought, now both daughters have to see this. If I ever make another dumb resolution, I thought to myself. Fifteen minutes later Stephanie arrived. I'm sure she wanted to believe her sister, but had to see it with her own eyes to believe it. There I was, chain smoking one after another. Stephanie heard the whole story from her mom and her sister and sat there in disbelief watching me smoke. This didn't stop her from pulling her cigarettes out. She joined her mother and sister in a cigarette and watched me smoke while talking with her mom and sister. I had known these girls for the nearly fourteen years I had been dating their mother. In fact, I was there when they both started smoking. Lindsey has smoked the Marlboro Lights 100's for several years now; Stephanie on the other hand, tends to switch brands. It's not uncommon to see her smoking Tareyton 100's like her mother and the next time see her smoking Virginia Slims 100's or Marlboro 100's. I think in the time I've been with her mother I've seen her with ten different brands. Today it just so happened that she was smoking Tareyton 100's again. I looked up and realized time was running out. I had slowed down trying to appease my lungs. Realizing that I had to get them done I lit the last three and finished with just barely a minute left. I then returned to my position over the trashcan and found myself sick to my stomach. The girls and their mother were laughing as I vomited. They were also laughing at themselves, remembering how they got sick several times when they were caught smoking thirteen years ago. Unfortunately, I also knew what was coming next and right on cue Michelle was standing there pulling five cigarettes from the open pack. Now both girls were wide eyed watching me eat the five cigarettes. Apparently neither had ever seen that before. Once again the garbage can and I were hugging each other. Stephanie then asked her mother, "How much more before he gets out of his resolution?" "I haven't decided quite yet," Michelle answered. Both girls asked me how I was feeling. I forced a fake smile and said, "I'm doing the best I can." "Hang in there, it'll be nice to have you back as a smoker," Stephanie said. "I agree," Lindsey added. "I couldn't agree more," Michelle said as she kissed my forehead. "You need a shower, you're pretty smoky." I headed off to our bedroom and took a shower to try to get clean. I also brushed my teeth twice, once before the shower and once after. After freshening up I returned to the living room and joined Michelle and the girls. The smoke was still pretty thick in the house and hit me like running into a wall. I opened some windows and turned on the fan to air out the house. "While you were in the shower the girls and I were talking about how your quitting smoking has affected all of us. They said I've even taken it out on them a few times. I decided they deserve a piece of your hide also, so they've come up with part three and half." I was not happy at this point, but I didn't have a lot of choice. If I quit now, I don't get the resolution annulled and the events of the weekend were all for not "Here's the deal. We are going to have smoking races. At the command of go, you will light a cigarette and begin smoking it. Lindsey is going to go first from our team. If she finishes her cigarette first you lose, if you finish your cigarette first you will have earned one win. The game will continue until you've won five times or we think you've smoked enough." This didn't sound too bad, I remember thinking. Then Lindsey spoke up. "However, here's the catch. Each time you lose a race you have to eat a cigarette, and we will be alternating team members. Your second race will be against Stephanie and your third against our mom. You are the only member of your team, so you have to compete in all of the races." My expression went from thinking this wasn't too bad to "oh crap!". So I was instructed to grab a pack of my cigarettes and lighter and the game began. As promised, my first race was against Lindsey. She lit a Marlboro Light 100 and me a Tareyton 100. Knowing that she was possibly the weakest smoker in the group I set out to win the first race. I took long drags and continued puffing. Lindsey smoked confidently, but didn't even try and keep up. I won easily and Lindsey crushed out her cigarette without even finishing it. On a small piece of scrap paper Michelle wrote the results. My lungs were burning and before I could even catch my breath Stephanie had a Tareyton 100 in her mouth and said go. I scrambled to get one and light up. With Stephanie's lungs not burning she carefully and masterfully took deep drags. I was trying my best but my lungs were already burning. She finished her cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray. I started to do the same conceding defeat but she quickly said no, finish it. While finishing it, Stephanie fished into her purse, retrieving an unopened pack of Virginia Slims 100's. She opened the pack and after extracting a cigarette she handed it to me. "You lose. bon appetite!" I ate the cigarette and no sooner took a drink of water to swallow it down when Michelle said go. Here I was at a disadvantage again. I grabbed another cigarette and started going. My girlfriend Michelle knows no other smoking technique except to pull deeply on her cigarette and savor the smoke. Her normal drags are equivalent to what some smokers would consider a deep drag. I got beat again. Two losses with only one win in the first three races. Michelle pulled another cigarette from her pack, and said "Yummy, yummy, right into your tummy." I ate it and this time got my next cigarette ready. When Lindsey said go I was ready. This time Lindsey decided to employ a new tactic. With each inhale she did a double pump and then exhaled directly into my face. Having smoke around my face or blown in my face is not unusual, but she timed it just right and kept breaking my concentration. In what was the closest race so far, Lindsey beat me by about ten seconds. A grin came across her face, as though she was proud that like her older sister and mother she had beaten me. She quickly fished an extra Marlboro Light 100 from her pack and said, "Open your mouth and close your eyes, now you get to eat the prize." I was getting really woozy about now. I had smoked four and eaten three cigarettes at a blistering pace. Unfortunately, I only had one win under my belt. One of five that I needed to end this torture. Race five was about to begin, Stephanie decided she was going to smoke a Virginia Slim this time instead of her Tareyton's. She decided that I was going to smoke a Virginia Slim also. She lit them both in her mouth and handed me mine and said go. I began and decided to give it my best, so I began rapidly inhaling. I looked up and noticed Stephanie was holding her lit cigarette casually. She was barely smoking from it, but maybe once every 45 seconds. I was over half way through mine. Then she announced, "Oops, I gave you the wrong cigarette, that one was mine, here is yours." She reached toward me taking my half smoked one and handed me her barely smoked one. I could have just died. These smoking races were turning into devious ways to torture me. Stephanie easily won the race, finishing my half smoked cigarette. I of course was forced to finish the entire cigarette she handed me. I barely stubbed it out when I was handed another Virginia Slim. She decided on a clever poem for my torment. "Roses are red and violets are blue, eat this quickly or I'll make you eat two." This cigarette was the turning point. As it went down, it all came right back up. I managed to get it in the trash can thankfully. Once I caught my breath and wiped my face off with a washcloth I actually felt better. Race six was against Michelle. I decided that I was going to win this race. I needed to get another win so I sucked it up and I smoked the whole cigarette in three minutes, easily topping Michelle's five minute pace. Race seven, back against Lindsey and I again set my focus to winning. She smoked her Marlboro Light 100 and me a Tareyton 100. I gave it everything I had and beat her this time. I was starting to feel some burning again, but I was happy to have win number three behind me. Race eight put me back against Stephanie again. I was thinking that I needed to win this and get three in row before I start getting really light headed and turning green again. This time Stephanie and I each smoked our respective Tareyton 100's. On the command of go I took huge drags as quickly as I could inhale and exhale them, one right after another until I finished the entire cigarette. I beat Stephanie and now had four wins, only one shy and getting through this damn game of theirs. Race nine was not my lucky one. Michelle with her rested lungs out smoked me and made me look silly. My stamina was fading quickly after losing this race. Michelle noticed my pale appearance and I think actually started feeling sorry for me. Michelle pulled out an unlit Tareyton from her pack and asked each girl for one of their cigarettes. Lindsey handed her mom a Marlboro Light 100 and Stephanie a Virginia Slim 100. Michelle announced with the help of a little rhyme that part three and a half was over. "You smoked real fast and did quite well, eat these three cigarettes and I'll end this hell." I grabbed all three and chewed them up as quickly as I could. I was glad to be finished with this extra race game. I of course got sick again, but was thankful this part was over. I gazed at my watch and noticed it was 6:00 already. The girls and their mom decided they were hungry. They asked if I wanted to join them for some Chinese food. The thought of it made me get sick again. Michelle suggested I go take a nap then while the rest went out to eat. I gladly lay down. I found out later from Michelle that she and girls went to the local place down the road and they laughed incessantly about my torment while they ate. It seems the girls thought this whole situation was quite amusing and were actually plotting and suggesting other ideas about what I should have to endure. About an hour and half after I had lay down, I was awakened by a kiss on my cheek from Michelle. She sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked my hair and asked how I was feeling. Her inner kindness shone through while we spoke and I told her I was feeling pretty decent at the moment. "You know I love you very much," she added. "I hope this weekend is teaching you a valuable lesson about being careful what you ask for," she said sternly. Looking into her eyes I nodded to acknowledge her comment. Her demeanor then changed and she spoke in a very matter of fact tone. "You have smoked three full packs in the first three rounds, a partial pack during round three and a half and of course you ate five cigarettes each of the first three times, totaling three quarters of a pack. I have decided to take it easier on you tonight since I added part three and a half that wasn't planned," she explained. "Part four starts in ten minutes, meet me in the living room." She got up and exited the bedroom. I hurriedly got up and used the restroom and washed my face. I decided to brush my teeth as well to get some of the awful taste out of my mouth. Arriving in the living room, I sat on the couch. I noticed two open packs of Tareyton 100's in front of me on the coffee table. Michelle explained that one contained the thirteen cigarettes left over from last round and the other pack contained the remaining five from the earlier episodes. "Part four," she emphasized, "Is going to be a little less grueling. You will have 80 minutes to smoke the thirteen cigarettes and then eat the five from the other pack." "Thank you Michelle," I said meekly. "Ready, set, go." She started timing the eighty minutes. Knowing this was an easier task I set out to finishing quickly. I smoked non-stop for 70 minutes, finishing unlucky number thirteen. Then I choked down and ate the five cigarettes from the other pack. Of course I puked, but that was getting to be a common occurrence this weekend. My torture for the night ended and we headed off to bed. Sunday morning came and I was awakened by smoke being blown into my face at five o'clock AM. I must have tried to turn away from it because she soon grabbed my chin while exhaling directly at my mouth and nose. I did not fight her as we sometimes played sexually smoking related games like this. She placed the cigarette into her lips and with her free hand reached under the sheets and felt for me. She was not disappointed, since I had been turned on by her smoky exhales. She pulled the covers back and made love to me, keeping the cigarette between her lips except when ashing. At the conclusion she lied next to me and lit another cigarette. She looked over at me with a wicked smile and said, "I'll bet you wish you were having an after sex cigarette right now." "Yes," I said enthusiastically. "It's too bad that you quit smoking as a New Year's Resolution." Then she exhaled in my face and giggled. She hopped up when finished with her cigarette. Her demeanor changed back to this weekend's stern tone. "Be in the living room in fifteen minutes." Ugh, I thought. I stopped in the kitchen to get a cup of coffee on my way to the living room. "Get yourself some water," she called out to me, so I brought a glass of water with my coffee. Joining Michelle on the couch I noticed that she had the carton I purchased sitting on the coffee table. She did an inventory in front of me, emptying out the contents on the table. "You only made it through five packs yesterday." "It seemed like more," I chimed in. She just glared at me, as if to say you better hush up. "Open a pack," she said to me. I grabbed one of the five packs and pulled the cellophane wrapper loose. "Today is going to be a tough one, you did well yesterday, but today, I'm going to test your resolve. Remember, if you quit before it's over the New Year's Resolution will stand. Do you understand me?" she demanded. "Yes." "Good, then for breakfast this morning you will eat that pack of cigarettes. Go get a plate and the waste basket." I returned with both. She ordered me to remove all of the cigarettes from the pack and place them onto the plate. I did so. The sight of twenty cigarettes on the plate was overwhelming and psychologically defeating. I did as I was told, one after another. Wanna quit now, she asked every time after I vomited? I ate and I vomited and I ate and I vomited, I think you get the picture. Get another pack. I grabbed another one. Open it and start smoking. My mouth tasted horrible after all of the aforementioned sickness. But I smoked and smoked and smoked. I vomited, I smoked. Wanna quit now she continued asking? No, I replied! I finished yet another pack. Judging from when I think we started, it was about two hours and ten minutes. The truth is I did want to quit. I wanted to make this torture stop. I can't quit, I kept telling myself, quitting is what got me into this to begin with. Or was it starting up again, I can't remember. "All you have to do is tell me you quit, you can go back to being a non-smoker," she said. "No, I want to smoke." I don't think that came out quite right in my anger at her trying to get me to give up. "Fine, smoke another pack." I started and I smoked and then I got sick and repeated the cycle on and on. When I slowed down, guess who was in my ear saying "you better get going unless you're quitting". My lungs burned, my stomach was in knots, I was ill beyond anything I'd ever experienced in my life. It was just before noon when this latest round of torment and torture ended. Michelle announced that we should eat some lunch. I was a little apprehensive and Michelle must have noticed my face. "No, real lunch," she said. I was hungry. We had some soup and sandwiches. After lunch she suggested I go lie down for awhile. I gladly accepted her offer and retired to the bedroom. I took a quick shower and then crawled into bed. She woke me up at 3:30 and said, "ut to the living room." I headed out to the living room and was greeted by Stephanie and Lindsey. I started getting a little nervous when I saw them. Yesterday was not exactly a joy when they participated. Plus I remembered Michelle said that while she and the girls were at dinner the previous night that the topic of discussion turned to plotting and suggesting other things I should endure. I sat down in the living room. "We hear you've had a rough morning." "Yes," I replied. "We came over to help finish up with your weekend." "The more the merrier," I said with a forced smile. , "You look like hell," Lindsey then said to me. "Thanks," I replied with a large dose of sarcasm. Michelle sat down with her cigarette case and also set the two remaining packs of Tareyton 100's on the coffee table. Michelle looked at me lovingly and said, "You're almost done. For the finale, you have 60 minutes to get these two packs of cigarettes gone. The only thing that can remain at the end of 60 minutes is the forty filters. Do you understand she asked me?" "Yes. They must all be gone in 60 minutes." She looked at her watch and said go. I opened the cellophane and extracted four cigarettes. I decided I would start by smoking four at once. I set the pack down and lit the four cigarettes. I looked over while I was lighting the cigarettes and saw Stephanie and Lindsey each take two from the pack. Next thing I knew they were both lighting up. I smiled; they meant they were here to help me. They and I both smoked as quickly as possible. As I mentioned before Stephanie smoked this brand regularly enough, but Lindsey detested them. For her to sit there and smoke them despite her utter disgust for them was a real sacrifice on her part. At about eight minutes into the session we simultaneously stubbed out eight cigarettes. This time I grabbed two and each of them grabbed another two. This time smoking them took us about ten minutes. There were twenty-six cigarettes still remaining and forty-two minutes left to finish them. My lungs were on fire and I could tell by the looks on the girls faces that they were struggling as well. I took another two from the pack and Stephanie and Michelle each took two more as well. This time all three of us slowed down to a twelve minute pace. Thirty minutes left and twenty cigarettes left. I knew I couldn't do another four at once and I didn't know how long the girls could continue on doing two at once. I knew somewhere along the way I was probably going to have to eat some to make up time. I saved that for last, knowing that I could manage that better at the end. Each of us took two again as Michelle announced thirty minutes remaining. Another twelve minutes elapsed and that left eighteen minutes and fourteen cigarettes. I grabbed four this time and the girls each two again. I was struggling to keep going and the girls looked very ill too. Another twelve minutes went by quickly. Michelle then announced six minutes left. Crap, I had to suck it up now. I grabbed two cigarettes and the girls each grabbed two. The pack was empty, but there was no way we could smoke them in six minutes. I knew what I had to do. I grabbed the glass of water and ate my first cigarette. Oh shoot, here it all comes up. It took me three minutes to get my breath back. The girls were just sitting there. Finally Lindsey spoke. "Come on sis, let's do it for him." The two girls out of some serious kindness each ate two cigarettes simultaneously and yes, they got sick too. I choked down my final one and threw it up as well. "Time is up," Michelle announced as the three of sat there hanging our heads close to the waste basket. "Congratulations, you made it with some help." I finally spoke. "Thank you so much," I said with sincerity to the girls. "I couldn't have done it without you. I owe you." "Yes you do, you owe us big. That was the grossest thing I ever tasted," Lindsey added. "No doubt," Stephanie said, "And I don't want to ever even think about doing that again." |
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