I Was Always a Good Girl

(by anonymous, 09 August 1998)


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    I was always the good girl in the family; I never did anything that my
parents would disapprove of. I spent the first 20 years of my life playing it
safe. If you had seen me coming down the street then you would have seen a shy
creature who was insecure and afraid to rock the boat. Even when I went away
to college I played it by the book; no sex, no late night parties, never more
then one beer and I didn't even start drinking until my sophomore year at
State. This is a true story though the names have been changed to protect the
guilty.

    As I sit here at my computer chaining a pack of Benson and Hedges special
filters I realize how much has changed in four short years. It all began with
a computer glitch my junior year of college. I spent the first two years in
the non-smoking dorm and had never considered moving off campus at all. I
arrived at school that September only to find that my room conformation had
been screwed up. In short I simply had no place to stay and the weight list
for a room was very long indeed. I spent the first week of school at a motel,
while every day checking the boards to see what was available. It was at that
board where my life changed.

    I will never forget meeting Libby Thompson, she was posting a roommate
needed sign for her apartment. The price was right and it was a single room in
an ok part of town so I introduced my self and we started talking. I liked her
right away even though she was nothing like my self. We made an interesting
pair sitting in the hallway discussing a possible arrangement. I am 5'7, slim
with a moderate mouth full chest and had long blonde girl next door hair, at
the time. She was my height and weight as well but the similarities stooped
there. My clothes were conservative and neat to a fault, pressed blue jeans
not a bit faded and not too tight with a wool sweeter that one could buy right
out of any Yuppie magazine. I even kept my sneakers white with out a mark on
them.

    Libby she was different an old black leather jacket over a thrift store
shirt started the outfit. Old faded and only partially intact blue jeans next
met my eyes finished off by the biggest pair of motorcycle boots I had ever
seen. Her hair was short, but pretty with a lovely round face. Belly button,
nose and tongue piercings went with the package of course. 

    If my friends or parents had been there they would have stopped me from
going over but I took a chance. I remember shyly saying, "Hi, I am Samantha
and ummmm.... I would be interested in the room." Libby disarmed me in a
second "Great, it's 250 per month plus bills, furnished with shared toilet.
It's a three-floor walk up with a view of the bars. There are already three of
us and we really need a fourth to pay the bills. You can move in today."

    With that I had the keys and the directions. She was sorry she had class
or she would have taken me. I should have noticed but desperation causes you
to over look things, she had a pack of Marlboro's in her hand and I never
asked about the smoking element in the apartment.

    I got to the door of the apartment about an hour later with several boxes
and suitcases. Up all those stairs and no body was home so I let my self in. I
could have and probably should have turned around then but something inside me
said it would be ok. The first thing I saw was a box of empty beer and rum
bottles followed by an ashtray. However the place didn't smell of smoke and
the ashtray was clean, so in I went. I set up my room.

    The first roommate in was Jennifer, an 18 year old freshman who though a
little on the wild side didn't smoke. She was nice but shy, as anyone would be
when away from home for the first time. Jennifer was talk and leggy, her mini
skirt barely covered her ass and tube top just about held in a pair of large
breasts that were just aching to get out. We talked for a while and got
comfortable. She told me that only Libby and Ann smoked and they had agreed to
keep it mostly in their own rooms on the other side of the apartment.

    Then in came Ann, 21 and a senior. She was everything I had been warned
about. A theater major, need I say more! First words out of her mouth were
"who the hell are.. oh, sorry Lib told me she found a third. You smoke?"

    "No!" I said

    She than said mind if I do and before I could answer she said good and
pulled out a pack of Camel 100's and sparked up. Ann was a fire engine red
head, stately to look out and decked out in a jean jacket and leather pants
finished off with a pair of platform boots. She sized me up in a second. 

    "You must be in shock, this isn't preppy land. If you have any problems
don't hesitate to complain to Lib because I really don't want to hear it." She
took another long pull on her Camel, opened a beer and walked in her room.

    This is how the first three months went, Lib and Ann smoking, drinking and
driving us crazy while Jen and I held down civilized end. As midterms
approached in October the house got smoky but after that they spent most of
their nights out on the town. When I went home for Thanksgiving I heard from
my mother how my bed sheets stank of smoke and what was I doing. Even after I
convinced her I was not smoking she lectured my on second hand smoke and the
dangers there in.

    Everything began to change after that, when we came back to State for
finals Jen was freaking out. Her midterms had put her on the edge of really
good grades and her parents had pushed her hard to keep it up. She was
stressed and tired and well vulnerable. Ann and Libby moved in like hawks! 

    As Jen explained the situation to us, Ann and Lib thought it would be a
good idea if we all had a drink or two to relax. I had two but Jen got plowed
under. Lib offered Jen a cigarette and too only my surprise she accepted. Like
a flash both Lib and Ann offered her one. Lib had the strangest pack I had
ever seen, Dunhill Lights in long blue packet while Ann had her usual Camel
100's. After a moment Jen and some discussion amongst the pushers they agreed
that the Dunhill's were the mildest and thus the best choice. 

    Jen carefully pulled one out of the pack and looked at it. Long and white
with a cork filter and a big stamp on the front. Even I was taken back by how
cool they looked. Jen placed it gently in her mouth and Ann placed the flame
of her gold lighter to the end and told Jen to gently suck. Jen immediately
inhaled a large cloud of smoke and began coughing but only gently. Her lungs
must have become accustomed to the smoke while living here. They gave her
advice on how to hold it and how to inhale and exhale. Jen could only smoke
half of it before stubbing it out and exclaiming "never again."

    Well I thought that is that, score one for me! 

    After Christmas brake we all came back and I saw Jen for the first time in
a month. She had become more relaxed and at ease. I noticed a bulge in her
faded jeans pocket. I said that looks like a pack of cigarettes! She shyly
admitted yes it was and the she showed me the pack of Marlboro Light 100's
that was half-empty.

    Jen protested that she "only smoke about 5 a day and I like but I didn't
want you to know. My parents were cool about it at home but that is because my
dad smokes." 

    I couldn't believe it my ally and friend had gone over the other side! Yet
I understood. Everyone told me that smoking was relaxing and even sexy but I
did want to believe them.

    Before I knew it Jen was spending more time with Ann and Lib. She even got
her nipples pierced. Three weeks later Jen was a confirmed smoker at least 15
a day and sometimes more. 

    Shortly after that Jen took me aside and told me that I really was a pain
in the ass. They always asked if I wanted to go out clubbing and I always said
no staying home in my pj's and watching crap TV instead. "Ann has suggested
that she could take you shopping and maybe you would meet somebody to spend
the night with in stead." She added "smoking is not required but it does make
it more fun!"

    "I don't know, it just isn't me" I retorted.

    Just then Ann entered the room, "Yes it is you, get out there have fun.
You have the body, your young and its expected."

    "OK, OK I'll go shopping with you!"

    "Great we leave in 10 minutes, and I get to pick the outfit!"

    Before I knew it I was in her smoky old dodge with her pulling on a Camel
every 5 seconds for the whole 40-minute ride. We talked for the first time
really, and I almost forgot about the smoking. In fact I realized that when
she exhaled it was, well attractive.

    Lib and Ann always had guys going in and out of their rooms. I guess it
didn't bother them. 

    We returned to the house so I could make my club debut. I couldn't believe
what I had done. I had lost that 1978 hair and joined the 90's! There I was in
a new leather jacket, with a silk short cut top and a pair of skintight black
jeans. I was wrong about Libs boots, the platform leather boots I had on where
much bigger. They stopped just under my knee. I couldn't believe it! This was
me and I liked it, finally not safe but dangerous.

    In the pocket of the leather jacket I found a pack of Dunhill Blues, a
lighter and a note from Ann and Lib. "Dear Samantha" it said "we have been
weighting for you to take the stick out of your ass for months and it is about
time you go all the way with this! Just think about trying one, we saw the way
you looked at them before. They are expensive if you don't use them we will!
Live it up!!!" I still have the note in my scrapbook.

    They were right about the way I looked at them before. They were
different, I felt different and so I figured why not! I slapped the box gently
on my hand, like I had seen them do so many times before. I opened the
cellophane and gently took one out. I smelt it and hesitated. "What am I doing
I thought! But I looked in the mirror and placed the unlight cigarette in my
mouth." I can't explain it but I got wet, wet like I had never been before. I
placed my hand down pants only to find my panties dripping wet. 

    I went in the other room found an ashtray and quietly slipped into my room
again. Then I light up! The first drag was the hardest I found. I coughed a
little but then it passed. I felt bold enough to try again. Just a small pull
and then I saw the small stream of smoke coming from my mouth in the mirror.
My nipples jumped to attention. I was hooked. 

    I expected a horrible taste but I found it refreshing almost. I didn't
mind the smell all of a sudden; I didn't even notice it. Each drag got bolder
and bolder until I had smoked almost the whole thing. The filter was still
very light so I know that I wasn't really doing to much but it didn't matter I
found that time would help with that.

    I couldn't stop my self I had to lay down and light another though my head
was a bit on the light side. I found my self playing with my nipples through
my silk shirt and rubbing my pussy through my new black jeans. Even good girls
masturbate but I have never had wave after wave wash over me like that.

    When I finished, I quickly hid the evidence and made for the bar and then
the club with my roommates. I couldn't tell them, I didn't know how. They took
care of that, they already knew because they could hear the moaning I had been
so loud. We spent the night drinking and dancing and smoking. 

    As we sat at Stimpsons discussing what had happened I realized I was
drunk. That had never happened to me before either and I liked that as well.
We were all drunk and smoky. Each Dunhill I smoked brought me closer to smoker
status and they new it.

    I must have smoked 7 or 8 that night. For the rest of the year I began the
slow process of becoming my own person. A new outlook, new clothing, new
smoker. My parents have never excepted my status, they are still on my back,
but who cares.


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