A Life of Illusion, Part 4

(by anonauthor02@yahoo.com, 02 January 1996)

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From cocoa.brown.edu!agate!newsxfer2.itd.umich.edu!newsfeed.internetmci.com!
Tue Jan  2 00:51:28 EST 1996
Article: 5644 of alt.sex.fetish.smoking
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Date: Tue,  2 Jan 1996 04:41:20 UTC
Subject: "A Life Of Illusion" 4/6
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Here's Part 4... usual disclaimers apply.



Part 4: Out of the Bathroom, Into the Closet

The next week the supply in the hall drawer suddenly dried up. Lisa began to
be concerned when she noticed the pack she had been smoking from was nearly
empty, but figured that she would just get another pack from her mom's
carton. When she finally emptied it, she waited for the right time to fetch
a fresh pack but to her shocked surprise, the carton wasn't where it should
have been. She looked everywhere for it in vain, becoming increasingly
frantic and frustrated. Eventually she had to abandon her search, and
returned empty-handed and increasingly anxious over when she might next be
able to smoke. 

This was a Saturday, and that morning Richard had left for two weeks on an
overseas trip. He actually had been pretty good about keeping his Sunday
dinner promise if nothing else, and this was the first time he was forced to
miss a Sunday with the family in months. There was less rancor this time
since this trip was planned well in advance, and so Mary had a prime
opportunity to put the next phase of her plan into action. She had carefully
controlled access to her cigarettes since Thursday, and knew that Lisa must
be getting quite desperate. She knew that she couldn't always take her pack
with her all the time, and so there was probably a chance that Lisa might
have been able to steal a cigarette or two, but she wanted her to be in the
middle of a nicotine fit come Sunday dinnertime.

She was. Lisa was desperately missing her cigarettes on Saturday night until
she was able to grab a single one from her mom's pack. She had continued
trying to figure out where the carton was but had zero luck. The one
cigarette she was able to smoke Saturday helped a bit, but come Sunday there
was no chance for her to sneak a cigarette, or even a puff, away from her
mother. By the time dinner was served, Lisa was very nearly obsessed with a
need for a cigarette, and had planned to make some excuse to go out and buy
a pack that evening, even if it meant getting caught. That didn't seem so
important to her any more since she had started to crave a cigarette so
badly earlier that day, and if anything it was just getting worse as the day
went on.

Mary announced that afternoon that since their dad was away, they were going
to have another special dinner that night, with linen, crystal, china, and
wine for both of them. Lisa's state of mind didn't let her appreciate the
special aspect of the evening as much as she otherwise would, but she went
along and helped her mom with preparations, although she was driven to
distraction when Mary would light up and smoke in front of her. Once they
sat down and she and her mom began to have dinner, the wonderful meal and a
few sips of wine helped to take her mind off her problem. She was still not
used to the wine's effect but enjoyed the slightly lightheaded and warm
feeling it caused her to have. Mary refilled her glass part-way through the
meal, along with her own, and by the time they were finished Lisa was
slightly tipsy again. 

When Mary left the room and returned a moment later with her cigarettes,
lighter and the ashtray, Lisa's thoughts were instantly back on smoking. She
stared as her mother lit up elegantly, took a long puff, and inhaled deeply.
After a few seconds, Mary exhaled with a sigh and took another sip of her
wine, followed by another long puff on her cigarette. Mary was very aware of
her daughter's intent stare and did her best to make her smoking look
irresistible. Inside Lisa it was if someone had flipped a switch, and all
systems suddenly focused on one thing: getting a chance to smoke. The
cravings were being amplified by the alcohol, and were becoming too much for
her to resist any longer. The wine helped remove her inhibitions, and she
felt her heart pounding as she watched her mom continue to enjoy her
cigarette. She thought about how to say it, but finally she broke down and
just started to talk in a thick voice that she barely recognized as her own.


"Yes, dear?," Mary answered.

"Ummm... You know, don't you... that, uh, I've been smoking a little this
past while."

"Oh, honey, no... really? I told you, didn't I, that you shouldn't. And you
promised me that you wouldn't smoke, either," Mary said with faked
disappointment. "So, do you inhale?"

"Uh-huh... yeah, I do," Lisa admitted somewhat sheepishly, a little
surprised by the question but understanding what it implied.

"Oh, Lisa dear, no... well, you better tell me all about it," Mary said,
trying to look dismayed. "How did this happen?"

"I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to sneak around or anything. But you just
look like you love it so much that I just had to give it a try again after
that one time. After I tried it a few times I just liked it so much, and it
was kind of easy since you smoked so much yourself. I just took puffs from
yours when you weren't looking. And once I got used to inhaling, I found
that I really liked doing that. So after a little while I would have a few
cigarettes from your pack each day, and I got so that I'd always inhale...
and now, it seems like I want to smoke more than ever. I'm just always
thinking about wanting to have a cigarette," Lisa babbled, in confessional
mode now. 

"Well, that's what I told you would happen, didn't I? You've gotten used to
smoking, and now your body needs you to give it nicotine all the time.
You've started to crave them now, haven't you? That means you've started to
get yourself addicted."

"I know, Mom... that's why I told you just now. I'd really like to ...,"
Lisa said thickly, her mouth reacting to her stress, "that is, could I have
a cigarette? Please? I really want one."

"No! Why should I contribute to your habit? And besides, you're too young.
You're only 14! You'll really be addicted if you don't stop right now! My
God, what will your father say!," Mary exclaimed, in mock disbelief.

"Well, then why do you still smoke?," Lisa countered. "You must really like
it too. Please, mom? I guess I must want to be addicted, because I don't
care if I get hooked or not. I just can't help it any more, mom, I just want
to be able to smoke so much. Can't I just have one now and then? Please? I
really need one, mom... please?"

"Oh, honey... how long did you say you've been smoking? And how many?," Mary
asked, her tone softening now, preparing Lisa to take her next step.

"For about 3 or 4 months now, mom... about 5 a day, I suppose. I never
thought I'd want to be a smoker, mom, but I guess I was wrong. Please, mom,
please, can I smoke?," Lisa begged.

"Lisa, if I do decide to let you start smoking, you've got to promise me a
few things. First, it'll have to be our secret. Your father would go bananas
if he found out I was permitting you to smoke at 14. So you'll have to do it
in secret when he's home, OK? And for now you only smoke here with me or
unless I know about it, alright? I don't want you to hang out at school
smoking on the sidewalk, or at the mall. If you're going to smoke, you may
as well do it properly. And this is your own decision, right? We talked
about the risks, and how hard it is to stop, and that I tried to convince
you not to smoke, but you decided to start anyway, correct? I don't want
there to be any misunderstanding here. I had nothing to do with this... I'm
just going along because I feel sorry for the fix you've got yourself into
and because I can relate to what you're going through now, understand?,"
Mary said, laying the groundwork for what was to come.

"Oh, sure mom, absolutely," Lisa agreed. "This is my own doing, my decision.
You had nothing to do with it. Whatever you say is fine with me. And I think
it's a good idea not to tell daddy, at least not right now... I was
wondering how I could ever do that to him, and I'd rather not do it at all.
Do you think we can keep him from finding out?"

"Well, it'll be difficult, but as long as we're careful, he shouldn't need
to know, at least for a while. And I guess I can take care of you if you get
really desperate for one when he's around... we'll figure something out,"
Mary said with a wink and a smile. "I guess I'll have to buy them for you,
too. What's your brand?" 

"Oh, wow! Virginia Slims Menthol, mom, the same as yours. That's what I've
been smoking, like I said. They're really nice, I like them a lot. That's
wild, mom... thanks! I never thought about you buying them for me. Uh, so...
can I? Mom, do you suppose....?," Lisa said, smiling in anticipation.

"Oh, sorry. Here, have one with me. I want to see you smoke," Mary said with
a smile, offering her pack. Lisa extracted one and Mary lit it for her, then
lit another for herself. Lisa's nervousness about smoking in front of her
mother disappeared as soon as she inhaled that first puff, and she quickly
felt the satisfaction she had craved all day. She soon took another, longer
puff without even waiting to exhale all of the first, and another wave of
gratification washed over her. Mary took a long pull on her own and watched
as her daughter continued to puff contentedly on her cigarette. As she
sipped her wine, she thought of how Richard wouldn't be home until the 20th,
and how she had almost 2 weeks to get Lisa smoking at a rate like she never
had before, the final step in ensuring her daughter would become as
committed a smoker as she was herself. She knew that it was wrong to do what
she had done, but her need to get revenge for Richard's behavior outweighed
any other consideration in her mind. And besides, all she had done was
provide the opportunity, she rationalized; it was Lisa who had really
decided to let herself become a smoker.

Mary kept Lisa supplied with cigarettes that evening, and her daughter
smoked five more times that night. Lisa felt strange at first, not from the
smoke, since she had been used to smoking fairly frequently by now; the
feeling was one of unreality as she watched herself light up and smoke in
front of her mom. Still, she loved being able to enjoy her smoking now out
in the open, and it seemed that it was no longer such a big deal for her,
instead becoming something she would just do normally. The next morning,
Mary offered a cigarette to Lisa with coffee, explaining how well the two
things went together, and Lisa quickly began to appreciate the combination.
Lisa had another cigarette on her own after breakfast, and she had a third
with her mom in the car on the way to school. Lisa was a little hesitant
about the semi-public aspect of smoking in the car at first, but she didn't
want to pass up her mom's offer and soon began to enjoy showing off  her
smoking to the strangers around her, even though she wasn't ready to go
totally open just yet. She soon realized that admitting to her mom that she
smoked was the best thing she could possibly have done since she was now
able to smoke much more often than she possibly could have in secret, and
wished she had done it earlier. When she returned home that afternoon it was
only a matter of minutes before she lit up on her own, and she and Mary
smoked together most of the evening. She had managed to smoke a dozen
cigarettes on Monday, which was double her normal consumption up to now.
Lisa didn't mind that in the least, though, since it seemed that the more
she smoked, the stronger became her desire to smoke even more. She
experienced no unpleasant side effects despite her record intake, and
instead actually found herself enjoying every one that she had. Even more,
she enjoyed smoking alongside her mom, for it made her feel much more adult
than ever before, and she had to admit that she felt glamorous when she
smoked too, thanks to adopting her mom's graceful and ladylike style.

The next day was much the same with Lisa continuing to indulge her growing
urge to smoke, with her mom's blessing. That night after supper they began
the job of hanging some drapes and after about 40 minutes they were far from
finished. "Let's take a break," Mary suggested, and while Lisa went to get
them some sodas from the kitchen, Mary retrieved her cigarettes and offered
one to Lisa when she returned. They both finished their cigarettes
simultaneously, now puffing at about an identical pace, and Mary immediately
said, "Here, honey, let's have another before we go back to this, OK?,"
offering a second to her daughter as she lit one for herself. Surprised by
the offer Lisa hesitated for a second, never having chain-smoked before, but
eventually she accepted the cigarette. Although she experienced a slight
irritation at the back of her throat by the time it was finished, she
realized that she had enjoyed the experience, finding herself feeling
remarkably relaxed and refreshed afterwards. Mary was able to get her
daughter up to 15 cigarettes on Tuesday, and Wednesday and Thursday were
about the same.

On Friday after school Mary picked Lisa up and they went shopping at the
mall. Lisa was able to smoke in the car on the way so her initial
after-school craving was satisfied, but in wandering around the stores for a
couple of hours she began to feel an insistent urge for a cigarette. Mary
had smoked herself about an hour previous on a bench in the mall and had
offered Lisa one but she had passed, not really ready to be that public just
yet. But when her mom suggested they stop at a coffee stand and reached into
her handbag once they got a table, Lisa could hold out no longer. Mary
didn't even need to hear her ask since she knew her daughter must have
desperately wanted to smoke by now, and extended the pack towards her. Lisa
pulled one out and accepted a light, no longer worried about being seen but
instead more concerned with satisfying her nicotine needs. In her haste to
smoke Lisa had not gotten the cigarette fully lit and Mary casually watched
as Lisa's cheeks caved in as she pulled hard on the cigarette, then as she
realized she hadn't gotten a full puff, repeated it while exhaling the first
through her nose as the cigarette burst into full ignition, glowing angrily.
She smoked this one rapidly, so that when she put it out in the ashtray her
mom still had plenty of hers left. After a few moments Mary asked her if
she'd like another and Lisa accepted without hesitation, this time smoking
in a much more relaxed manner. After about another hour of shopping they
decided to eat dinner in a restaurant and by now Lisa had no reservations
about smoking publicly. She kept pace with her mom throughout their time
there, each smoking four cigarettes, and Lisa smoked again in the car on the
way home and every half-hour or so once she got there, the two of them
keeping the family room filled with a blue haze all night. She didn't smoke
like a beginner any more either, Mary was pleased to note, but instead
looked like someone who was confident of herself as she enjoyed every puff
she inhaled. 

Mary noted with satisfaction on Friday night as she was preparing to turn in
that she had succeeded finally in getting Lisa up to a pack a day. Now the
challenge would be to maintain her there next week, until Richard got home,
and somehow keep her there for a few weeks after that, until the habit could
take over from there. She was surprised at how little she actually had to
coax Lisa into starting to smoke more heavily. Her daughter needed a little
encouragement from time to time, she thought, generally to help her make the
step from one plateau to the next, but for the most part she had done most
of her smoking the past week on her own.

End of Part 4


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