Kelly's Wedding, Part 4

Kelly's Wedding
by Gray Haze

Part 4 - Kelly's Choice

It was late Friday night, and Kelly had just got back from going out with the
girls.  She reached in her closet for a large duffle bag.  It was Memorial
Day weekend, and she was going to spend it with Jim and a couple that Jim
knew well, sailing on Lake Superior.  Jim owned a 38 ft. sloop, and he was
for the first time going to share his biggest passion with Kelly - sailing.  

They were to leave first thing Saturday morning and come back late Monday
evening so she needed to pack enough clothes for three days and two nights.
In addition to her clothes, she packed a small bag for her cosmetics and
personal care needs.  Finally, she needed to pack some cigarettes as well.
She opened her closet, and pulled down a full carton of Salem's.  She figured
that she would need the entire carton for three full days of heavy smoking.
She squeezed the carton into her bag with her clothes.

Once packed, Kelly hopped into bed.  She lit a cigarette and started to think
while she enjoyed the feeling of dense smoke hitting her lungs.  She was
smoking much more than she had planned to during the last month and a half
and after each puff she took lying in bed, she was increasingly realizing
that she was enjoying smoking far more than she ever thought she would.  She
was starting to worry about getting hooked.  Although she still didn't smoke
at work, she was starting to feel the subtle cravings for a cigarette during
that time.  But what could she do.  Her relationship with Jim was growing
fast, and as long as they dated, she had to smoke.  She was playing with fire
and she knew it.  Well, lungs, get ready for some serious abuse this weekend,
she thought as she took another puff.

Kelly woke up promptly at 6 am, and reached over for her cigarettes as was
fast becoming her custom.  She opened her pack and realized that there was
only five left.  She then lit up, and started the day out with a couple big
double pumps.  She hopped out of bed and put her bathrobe on.  She then
opened her duffle bag up, pulled three packs of Salem's out of her new
carton, and took them and her almost empty pack to the kitchen.  She turned
the coffee maker on, and then placed the three un-opened packs into her
purse.  Well lungs, you're going to be getting to know these 60 cigarettes
well today, she said as she closed her purse.  

Kelly poured herself a cup of coffee, sat down at the table, took one more
puff off of her cigarette and put it out.  Almost immediately, she lit up
another cigarette and sat quietly enjoying the sensation of the smoke and
thinking about the day ahead.  She was both nervous and excited about the
three days she was going to spend with Jim.  Excited about spending so much
time with Jim, nervous about what was going to happen at night.  Kelly was
quickly learning that smoking helped her relax when she was nervous, and
smoke she did that morning, as she lit up her third one immediately after
putting out her second.  She never before had chained three cigarettes in a
row, but she reasoned that today was going to be a heavy smoking day, so she
might as well get an early start.

She then ate a muffin, and lit up number four soon afterwards.  She then took
a quick shower, and she finished what remained of her pack while doing her
hair.  Jim arrived a little before seven, and she opened up another pack
while he loaded her bags into his car.  She lit up again as soon as they got
into the car to leave.  It was a twenty minute drive to the marina in Duluth.
She finished a total of two cigarettes on the way there.

Once there, Kelly was surprised at how big and beautiful the sailboat was.
Underneath the deck was a main cabin, galley and two small bedrooms.  Jim and
Kelly never talked about how much money they made, but it was becoming
quickly obvious that Jim had a lot of money.  He drove a high end BMW, owned
a high priced condo in Duluth and sailed a huge yacht.

Jim's friends Bill and Kathy joined them soon after they arrived.  Bill and
Kathy were about the same age as Jim and Kelly, but they were married.  Both
were also smokers.  Jim's goal was to sail to Thunder Bay, Canada which was
about 150 miles away.  Depending on the wind, Jim figured that they would get
there sometime Sunday morning.  If the wind was wrong though, they probably
would have to turn around before they got there.  

Once out to sea, Kelly quickly learned the first challenge there was to
sailing, lighting a cigarette with all that wind around.  She struggled at
first, but soon developed the technique of lighting up when it was windy.
During that morning, Kelly spent a lot of time talking with Kathy as they
watched the two men work on maximizing the speed of the boat.  It was obvious
that both Jim and Bill were passionate sailors, and it was obvious just by
watching them how much they liked to sail.  

Kathy smoked, but nowhere near as much as Kelly.  Kelly had to maintain a
heavy smoking image around Jim, something she was getting increasingly good
at.  She maintained a pace of four cigarettes per hour all morning long, and
finished the pack she just opened when she left home, by noon.  

The weather was beautiful that day, and the wind was perfect for the sailors.
They were averaging 10 knots, which was quite fast by normal standards.  They
continued to sail the whole day.  During this time, Kelly spent a lot of time
talking with Kathy.  They had a lot in common, and Kelly quickly took a
liking toward her.  Kelly opened up another pack at five as she maintained an
incredible smoking pace.  She was now quite used to smoking like this any
time she was around Jim, and now did it habitually without thinking about it.
The two women headed underneath at seven to fix dinner while the men
continued to sail.  Finally, they made anchor, just off the coast of northern
Minnesota at eight.  Jim was satisfied with the time they made, and were only
40 miles away from Thunder Bay.

The four ate dinner soon after they anchored.  After dinner, Bill pulled out
a box of fine Dominican Cigars.  Kelly was shocked to see Kathy eagerly
accept one, and was even more surprised when she was offered one.  She had
never smoked a cigar before and really never wanted to.  But she didn't want
to be the only one not smoking them, so she reluctantly accepted.

Much to her surprise, the cigar was wonderful.  It went very well with the
fine after dinner brandy that they were drinking.  Another thing that Kelly
wasn't aware of was that most people did not inhale cigar smoke.  But she did
with no difficulty.  In fact she loved the enormous kick it gave her chest.
Finally after several large puffs, Bill realized what Kelly was doing and
warned her against it.  But Jim pointed out that the way Kelly smoked, her
lungs were more than used to anything that cigar smoke could deliver.  Kelly
kept inhaling each puff all the way to the end.

At ten, Bill and Kathy called it a night, while Kelly and Jim stayed above
enjoying the moonlit night.  Soon afterwards, Kelly had to open pack number
four.  Even she was surprised how much she had smoked that day.  But she
continued to keep pace.  The romance started to get heated and by midnight,
the two headed for bed.  But that was as far as it went.  Kelly told Jim that
she was not ready yet to have sex.  Now Kelly was no virgin, but she was
holding back with someone special like Jim.  Jim understood, and Kelly lit
her 72nd cigarette of the day just before they turned out the lights.  

Kelly awoke early at six, before any of the rest did.  She started to
immediately cough heavily.  She had never smoked so many cigarettes in her
life, and throw in the cigar, her chest felt really congested.  Sorry lungs
about yesterday, she said to herself as she coughed.  I didn't expect you
would have to deal with a cigar.  The coughing cleared her relatively virgin
lungs up within a couple of minutes though and she grabbed her pack and
lighter, put on a sweatshirt and headed above deck.  It was a little foggy
out, but she could see in the distance the sun starting to rise.  She opened
her pack up, took out a cigarette and performed a large double pump.  The
smoke hit her nicotine starved body as she continued to puff heavily on the
cigarette.  As was the case most mornings, this cigarette tasted wonderful.
Even after all the smoking she did the day before, her lungs quickly adapted
to the new smoke entering in them.  To Kelly, it almost felt like they now
eagerly wanted it.  Never did a cigarette taste so good.

Once the first cigarette was finished, she immediately lit another.  She then
went underneath to make some coffee.  It took about five minutes for the
coffee maker and she poured herself a cup as she put out her second
cigarette.  She went back above deck, and still wanting more, she lit up
again.  The combination of the caffeine, nicotine, fog and rising sun made
for an incredibly relaxing feeling.  Jim came up and joined her near the end
of her third cigarette.

"Honey, I want to apologize about coming on so strong last night," Jim said
as he sat down next to her.

"Oh Jim, please don't apologize," Kelly said as she flicked her butt over the
side of the boat.  "Believe me, I want you real bad also.  Just not yet
though."

Jim put his arms around Kelly and they kissed passionately.

"Nothing like the taste of morning breathe," Jim laughed as stopped kissing.

"Tell me about it," Kelly laughed as she pulled out another cigarette.  

Jim extended a light to Kelly, who eagerly accepted while he lit one of his
own.

"So, how did you like the cigar last night?" Jim asked as he lifted his
coffee cup up to his mouth.

"It was wonderful Jim, I have never smoked one before," Kelly responded.

"I couldn't believe that you inhaled the whole cigar," Jim said with a slight
laugh.  "I can on a few small puffs, but not every one, that's for sure."

"I really liked the feeling of the real strong smoke in my lungs," Kelly said
as she lifted her cigarette to her mouth.

"By the sounds of your coughing this morning, you're lungs sure didn't," Jim
responded back.  "Do you sound that bad every morning?"

"Yeah, I guess I do have quite a smoker's cough in the morning," Kelly said
through a talking exhale.  "I guess I smoke more than I should."

"I sometimes do to," Jim said.  "Especially when I'm around you.  But I have
to admit, I've never seen anyone smoke quite like you do."

"Why, does my smoking bother you?" Kelly said.  "Because if it does, I'll try
to cut back some when I'm with you."

"Of course not," Jim replied.  "You must just be a born smoker."

Kelly was happy with that conversation.  She now knew that she succeeded in
convincing Jim that she was really hard core.

After breakfast, they set sail for Thunder Bay.  They arrived at about noon
and made anchor in the harbor.  The all went into town to do a little
shopping and to eat some lunch.  Kelly smoked even heavier than the day
before and by three o'clock, she finished her second pack.  She was starting
to wonder whether the carton would last until she got home tomorrow, so she
stopped and bought another one before they boarded ship at four.  

They again sailed until 8 pm, when they made anchor at almost exactly the
same place that they did the night before.  Once again they enjoyed an after
dinner cigar.  At midnight, Kelly crushed out her eightieth cigarette of the
day, as she kissed Jim goodnight.

They made it back to Duluth at about 9 pm.  It was a good thing that Kelly
bought that extra carton, because she had to open it at about 6.  She got
home at ten.  She was tired from all the sailing, but had a wonderful time.
She relaxed quietly for the next hour and still continued her pace of
smoking.  Well lungs, it's back to work tomorrow, so we'll give you a break
then, she thought as she continued smoke heavily until bedtime.

The next day at work was tough.  Her body wanted a lot more nicotine and
Kelly was unwilling to give it.  By lunch time, she couldn't take it anymore,
and decided to go out to lunch so that she could smoke.  While at lunch, she
was very concerned about how she was slowly but surely becoming hooked.  

For the next four weeks, she struggled mightily with what were becoming
persistent cravings.  Most days she managed to make it through work without
smoking, but sometimes she broke down and smoked during lunch.  When she
wasn't at work, she seemed to be smoking more, even when she wasn't with Jim.
By July, Kelly was starting to wonder if she was now completely hooked.  The
next weekend would tell the story.

Kelly planned to visit her parents in Milwaukee that long 4th of July
weekend.  She took the Friday off before to go sailing with Jim.  That
Saturday, she left at about ten for what would be a ten hour drive.  Of
course she smoked a lot with Jim on Friday, and continued to smoke heavily on
the drive to Milwaukee.  She found that smoking made the long drive more
enjoyable and relaxing.  She flicked the last cigarette of the trip out the
window about 10 minutes before she would arrive at her parent's house.  Well
lungs, I've got some good news for you, she said to herself, for the next few
days you're going to get a break.  Kelly was going to use this weekend as a
chance to take a break from smoking.  She didn't want to tell her parents,
and besides, she wanted to see if she could do it.  

She arrived at her parent's house at 8PM.  She hadn't seen her parents since
Christmas, and they were thrilled to see her.

"I'm sorry, but you missed dinner," her mother said shortly after she
arrived.  "Can I get you something to eat?"

"That's OK mom, I stopped on the way," Kelly replied.  "I would have made it
earlier but I got off to a late start."

Kelly and her parents sat around and talked for the next couple hours.
During that time her mother smoked as she always has in the past.  Kelly
watched, wishing she could have one too.  She was really starting to feel
some cravings as time went by.  Her father went to bed early at ten.  Shortly
after her sister came home and immediately gave her big sister a hug.  Kari
was Kelly's younger sister.  She was eighteen and had just graduated high
school.

What came next shocked Kelly.  When Kari finally sat down at the kitchen
table, she opened her purse, pulled out a pack of Newport 100's, placed one
in her mouth, and while she was searching for her lighter in her purse, her
mother reached over to light it for her.

"Kari, when did you start smoking?" Kelly said in total disbelief.

"About three years ago," Kari answered back through a talking exhale.

"Three years ago, and you never told me about it?" Kelly asked back.  "I
thought we never kept secrets from each other."  

"Hey, don't feel so bad Kelly, I didn't find out until last month," her
mother chimed in.

"I'm sorry sis, but after all the grief that you gave mom through the years
about her smoking, I really didn't want to hear the same," Kari replied
softly.

"I'll vouch for that," her mother laughed.

"Kari, you were so young, why would you start smoking?" Kelly asked.

"I tried it once with some friends, and immediately liked it," Kari lifted
her cigarette to her mouth, took a large puff and said through a talking
exhale, "Now that I don't have to hide it, I absolutely love smoking!"

Kelly sat silently for a few seconds, her body craving nicotine, while she
thought to herself, I'll be damned if I'm going to spend the whole weekend
watching these guys smoke.

"Well, that make sense Kari," Kelly said as she opened her purse.  She then
paused for a second, said to herself oh why not, and pulled her pack of
Salem's out with a lighter.  She then lit one up while her mom looked on in
stunned disbelief and said through a talking exhale, "As you can see, I
started smoking also."

"Oh my God Kelly, when did you start smoking?" Kari said with excitement.

"About three months ago," Kelly responded.

"Three months ago Kelly!" Kari cried out.  "Nobody starts at the age of 24."

"Well Kelly, you are about the last person that I would think would start
smoking," her mom said while still stunned.  "I guess I failed to convince
you girls about the dangers of smoking over these past few years.  Of course,
if I didn't set such a bad example, maybe you girls would have chosen a
different path."

"Common mom, enough with the guilt trip!" Kari shot back.  "Everybody tries
smoking once in there life.  I liked it from the beginning and it was my
choice to continue.  I can assure you, I'd be smoking whether you did or
not."

"Yeah mom, I think you're being a little hard on yourself," Kelly added.
"You certainly had nothing to do with my smoking."

For the next three hours, the three women stayed up talking and laughing.
They all smoked up a storm as well.  It seemed that each other's smoking fed
off the others.  Kelly told them all about Jim and how well things were going
between them.  She didn't exactly divulge the real reason she started
smoking, only that Jim smoked and she started soon after meeting him.  This
was in a way true.  Kari told Kelly all about her three years of smoking, and
how she managed to hide it so well for so long.  Kelly was impressed by how
much Kari loved smoking.  It was obvious just by watching her smoke.  She
also seemed to smoke a lot.  She was lighting up constantly, which led to
both Kelly and her mother following suit.  

Finally, at 1 am Kari said goodnight and left.  Kelly finished her cigarette
and decided it was time to go to bed as well.  After she gave her mother a
goodnight hug, and started walking away, her mother called to her.

"Kelly, wait before you go up to your bedroom," she said as she opened up a
drawer in the kitchen, "Why don't you take this ashtray up with you.  Now
that you are a smoker, you'll be needing it."

"Thanks mom," Kelly replied as she grabbed the ashtray.

Once up in her room, she put her cigarettes and the ashtray on the
nightstand.  She then unpacked her bags and got dressed for bed.  Once in bed
she laid there for a few minutes reflecting on what just happened.  She was
planning on not smoking that weekend.  She was going to use the weekend of
not smoking as a gauge to determine whether she was becoming hooked or not.
She was starting to think that she was, but she wasn't sure.   She was
disappointed in herself for not at least making a better effort in refraining
from smoking.  I lasted all of two hours, she thought.  But she enjoyed
spending time with her mom and sister, and liked smoking with them.  It was
kind of fun, and seemed to help bond them together as more than just family
members - more like smoking buddies than daughter, sister, and mother.  

Kelly then reached over to the nightstand, grabbed her cigarettes and pulled
one out.  After she lit it, she took a big puff and a deep inhale.  As she
slowly exhaled, she thought to herself, I'm glad I did.

Kelly woke up at 8 the next morning, coughing up a storm.  With all the
driving and socializing with her mom and sister, she smoked quite a lot the
day before.  Still coughing, she reached over to her nightstand, pulled out a
cigarette and performed her now customary big double pump.  I'm sorry lungs,
she thought to herself as she felt the nicotine hit her brain.  I know I
promised to give you the weekend off.  She stayed in bed until she finished
that cigarette, then got up, put her bathrobe on, grabbed her cigarettes and
headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"Good morning dear," her mother said as she watched Kelly pour herself a cup
of coffee.  "Can I get you something to eat for breakfast?"

"Not right now mom," Kelly responded back as she sat down and pulled a
cigarette out of her pack.

The two then both lit up cigarettes and sat quietly while they smoked and
sipped on their coffee.

"The morning cigarettes are always the best," her mother finally broke the
silence.

"They are certainly my favorite," Kelly responded.  "Smoking goes really well
with coffee.  It gives me a nice pick up first thing in the morning."

"Honey, something has been bothering me.  I hope I didn't give you the
impression last night that I was disappointed in you over smoking?" Kelly's
mom asked.  "You know, that I will always support you in anything that you
do.  You are a mature adult now, and are certainly capable of making your own
informed decisions in life."

"No mom, I didn't get that impression," Kelly said through a talking exhale.
"I have to admit, it was kind of nice smoking with you and Kari.  Kind of a
bonding experience in a way."

"Yes, I guess it was," her mother laughed.  "I have to admit though, I never
thought you would ever take up smoking.  But now that you have, you certainly
look like you enjoy it as much as I do."

"Mom, I never thought I would start smoking either," Kelly said as she
crushed out her cigarette.  "I mean, I always thought smoking was totally
disgusting.  Yet, here I am, smoking away.  Then there are times I look at
myself in the mirror wondering what the hell is going on with me.  How could
I be so stupid!"

"All smokers second guess themselves sometime during there life," her mother
said with knowledge.  "But eventually you learn to accept yourself and who
you are.  I've been smoking for 35 years now, and I can't remember the last
time I thought I was stupid for smoking.  So don't worry Kelly, with time
you'll come to grips with being a smoker and learn to love it as an important
part of who you are."

"Yeah, you're probably right, but I still can't picture myself sucking on
these the rest of my life," Kelly said as she pointed toward her freshly lit
cigarette.  "When I started, I planned only to smoke as long as Jim and I
went out.  With most other relationships I've had, they didn't last very
long.  So I figured I wouldn't have to smoke that long.  But here I am three
months later, and I'm starting to think that Jim might be the one."

"Oh Kelly, I'm so happy you found somebody special," her mother said as she
touched Kelly's arm.  "But I fail to see what smoking and going out with Jim
has to do with one another.  I know he smokes, but that doesn't mean you have
to."

"Well, I didn't tell you everything about why I started smoking last night,"
Kelly said.

Thirty minutes and three cigarettes later, Kelly finished telling her mother
all about starting to smoke just to date Jim.  

"So here I am now, three months later and still smoking cigarettes," Kelly
said as she finished her story.  "And now I am starting to worry that I am
becoming hooked on these things."

"Well Kelly, that is quite a story.  I was wondering why somebody who just
started smoking looks like a veteran of many years.  That truly is amazing
that you could learn to smoke so fast to fool him," she said with a laugh.
"But don't you think that it is time to tell Jim?  Maybe you are wrong, and
that he would accept you for you and not your smoking.  Besides, no
relationship should start with a lie."

"Oh mom, I wish it was that simple," Kelly said while crushing out a
cigarette.  "I really think he might be the one.  I've never felt this way
before with any guy.  I'm afraid if I told him he would leave me."

"Well Kelly, I've watched you smoke five cigarettes in about an hour honey,"
her mother responded.  "You keep smoking like this, and you will be good and
hooked in no time.  In fact, from what I see, you look like you already are."

Kelly knew her mother was right.  She was smoking a lot, and to make matters
worse, she wasn't even realizing it.  She also knew that she was really
struggling to not smoke at work.  She found herself craving cigarettes more
and more, and knew she was starting to reach the point of no return.  And
yet, a part of her really enjoyed smoking.  She increasingly liked smoking a
lot. Not wanting to talk about it, she decided to change the subject.

"I found it hard to believe that my baby sister smokes," Kelly said.  "I
guess she is no longer a baby anymore."

"Well, she will always be me baby girl, Kelly, and so will you," her mother
replied back.  "But everybody grows up eventually, and she sure has."

"She certainly has no doubts about smoking," Kelly said as she started
thinking about having yet another cigarette.  "She smokes with great passion
and zeal, that's for sure."

"Unfortunately, too much passion and zeal I'm afraid," her mother said with a
frown.  "She smokes way too much for a girl her age.  It seems like she has a
cigarette burning in her hand constantly.  I've spent the last month trying
to encourage her to smoke in moderation.  But I'm afraid it has fallen on
deaf ears."

"I heard that," Kari said as she walked into the kitchen with a cigarette in
her hand.  "What are you trying to do, get Kelly to start lecturing me on
smoking too much?"

"No Kari, you don't have to worry about me, I've lectured mom for years, and
I'm not about to lecture anybody about smoking again," Kelly said as she
broke down and decided to have another cigarette.

"Good," Kari said in return.  She then pulled a cigarette out of her pack and
lit it with the spent end of the previous cigarette.  "I wouldn't listen
anyway."

For the rest of the weekend, Kelly smoked with pretty much reckless abandon.
For reasons that Kelly couldn't explain to herself, she was smoking as
heavily as she would with Jim.  Hanging out a lot with Kari certainly didn't
help.  Her mother was right, Kari did smoke way too much, and what was
starting to become obvious, was Kelly did too.  

Kelly left early Tuesday morning to begin her long ten hour drive home.  She
was hoping to get home by 6 so she could spend the evening with Jim.  She
first had to fill her car up with gas and buy cigarettes, so she stopped at
the nearest gas station that sold both prior to leaving Milwaukee.

The weekend had been a real eye opener for Kelly.  She was finally coming to
the realization that smoking had become something more than what she did to
keep Jim.  To Kelly, today was the start of a new life.

"Three cartons of Salem 100's," Kelly asked the cashier inside the mini-mart
at the gas station.

Once in the car, Kelly put the cartons in the seat next to her.  She pulled
out a cigarette from what was left of her open pack, lit it, and proceeded to
drive away.

Lungs, I've got some bad news for you, she said to herself as she exhaled a
huge cloud of smoke.  "It's over.  I'm done fighting it.  You're just going
to have to learn to live with a lot of abuse, maybe forever.

Ten hours driving gave Kelly a lot of time to reflect on her decision.  It
wasn't a decision that she took lightly.  She had spent the entire weekend
thinking about it.  Buying three cartons was her way of validating her
decision.  Now on the road with little else to do, she continued to think
about her decision.  She first made mental note of the reasons she liked to
smoke.  Her list was as follows:

1. I love the feeling I get all over my body when I smoke.  2. I love how the
smoke feels in my lungs.  3. I love smoking with friends and family.  4. I
love the taste.  5. I love the feeling of satisfying a craving.  6. I love
the act of smoking - the inhales and the exhales.  7. I love how I look
smoking.  8. I love how well smoking goes with my morning coffee 9. I love
smoking for Jim.  10. I love smoking in the car while driving.

After making this list, Kelly was surprised about how low on the list smoking
for Jim was.  Smoking was now about her and not about Jim.  That made her
happy about her decision.  It may have started out being about Jim, but it
was no longer.

Next she started thinking about the negatives.  She again made a mental list.
Her list was as follows:

1. Smoking is very bad for my health.  2. Cigarettes are expensive.  3.
Smoking makes me cough, especially in the morning.  4. Some people don't like
being around smokers.  5. Hate the feeling of a craving.

She had trouble coming up with many negatives.  The only one that really
bothered her was the first one.  That was the reason she never wanted to
smoke in the first place.  But after three months of smoking, she learned
about the positives.  Now she was convinced that the positives far outweighed
the negatives.

Next she spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of smoker she was going
to be.  She thought about the time she went sailing with Jim.  She smoked a
lot and she loved every minute of it.  She also thought about the weekend
with the family and how much she smoked there, especially when hanging out
with her sister.  Then, she thought about the last few hours in the car
driving home.  She was lighting up every ten or fifteen minutes much like she
did while with Jim.  Was she smoking out of habit now, or was it something
else?  All she knew was she loved every minute of it.  Finally, she thought
about Jim.  He wanted a hard core smoker and she had been giving him one.  He
certainly seemed pleased by that.

Then she though about the negatives to smoking so much.  She recalled how her
lungs felt in the morning after smoking heavily the previous day and then
compared it to days she smoked lightly.  On the morning after a day of heavy
smoking her lungs were congested and she coughed a lot.  On the mornings
after a light day of smoking she hardly felt anything in her lungs and she
barely coughed at all.  It was obvious that smoking a lot was much worse for
her then light smoking.  Once Becky told her that heavy smoking was slow
suicide.  Now she knew why.  

She used her time in the car to evaluate her situation.  She would smoke five
cigarettes in one hour and then the next hour she would smoke only two.
After she did this, she would compare the two different hours to see which
one she enjoyed more.  After she finished her little experiment, the result
was obvious.  She enjoyed the hour she smoked more far more than the hour she
smoked less.  

So the choice came down to this, limit the amount smoked to minimize the
damage or enjoy smoking completely and deal with the consequences later.   It
was a tough decision, but in the end, she determined that she if she was
going to smoke, she might as well enjoy it.  Limiting herself just didn't
make any sense.  Besides, Jim wanted a hard core smoker, and she was more
than happy now to oblige.

Ten hours and two packs of cigarettes later, Kelly arrived at Jim's condo.
When he answered the door, she immediately jump into his arms and kissed him
passionately.

"Wow, Kelly, aren't we in a good mode," Jim replied after the kiss.  "I
figured you would be all tired and bedraggled after a long drive."

"No Jim, I've never felt better, and I have never been happier," she said as
she pulled her pack of cigarettes out of her purse.  "I missed you so much."

Kelly spent the rest of the evening with Jim.  She smoked almost constantly
and enjoyed every minute doing it.  She went home at ten, unpacked and then
relaxed with a glass of wine before bed.  Once in bed she lit up her last
cigarette of the day.  While deeply inhaling the smoke into her lungs, she
realized that she enjoyed that cigarette along with all the others that day.
Well, Jim Parker, she thought to herself as she inhaled a big puff of smoke,
you wanted a real hardcore smoking girlfriend, and now you got one.  Kelly
then lifted her cigarette to her mouth and thought to herself as she took a
big drag, and I couldn't be happier.

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