Kim and Mark, Part 2

From: stinger27@gnn.com

Chapter 2

Kim hurried downstairs as she was running just a bit behind this morning.
It was already 7:45 and she had to be at the office by 8.  Her schedule
called for her to work 8-2, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  It was Friday
and that meant the patient case load would be light.  Still, she hated being
late and scurried to grab her coat, purse, and gloves. 
It was just getting light.  Typical for mid-February.  Thankfully, it wasn't
quite as cold as it had been lately.  The thermometer in the garage read 40
degrees which meant it was probably just above freezing outside.  Kim opened
the door of the Celica and tossed her purse onto the passenger side, turned
the key and heard the engine roar to life.  As she backed down the driveway,
she reviewed her plans for the day which included having lunch with
Rita-something she normally did on TGIF day. 

Kim thought of Rita during the 10 minute drive to the office.  Rita was 35,
divorced and had a 10 year old daughter named Mandy.  She had been working
with Dr. Robbins a little over two years since managing to finish up her PhD
two years after her divorce.  Rita was not only an exceptionally talented
book keeper and receptionist, but one of the warmest, friendliest people Kim
had ever met.  An eternal optimist, Kim thought to herself.  Nothing ever
seems to get her down.  While Rita was well paid for the work she did (Rita
made nearly triple what Kim what was paid-which really wasn't all that much
as she was just part time) the divorce forced to live paycheck to paycheck.
Her ex-husband did pay child support and that, coupled with her salary,
seemed to be just about enough to cover the bills.  Somehow, Rita always
managed to dress well and provide more than just the essentials for Mandy.
She was an excellent mother who tended to dote on her daughter but found a
balance that kept her from spoiling her. 

Kim was excited and yet a little nervous about lunch today.  She wondered
what Rita would say or how she might react when Kim told her the real reason
for today's lunch (which would be on Kim, of course).  She smiled at the
thought of what Mark must be thinking right about now.  With that thought in
mind, she pulled into the space just in front of the office, locked the car
door, and headed for the office. 

Kim found that she had arrived before anyone else and was grateful not be
late.  It was five past eight, and she quickly set down her things and got
some coffee going.  Just as she turned on her computer, Rita opened the door
and met Kim with her usual, "Good morning!'.  Rita always seemed to be
smiling and her enthusiasm was contagious.  Rita was one of the things Kim
liked best about working here.  The work itself was exactly stressful, but
things had a tendency to get busy and Rita was always had a sort of calming
effect on things.  "Morning Rita," Kim answered.  "How ya been?"
"Fantastic!  Can't wait for the weekend, though!"  "Big plans, Rita?"  "Not
really, just looking forward to relaxing and spending some time with Mandy.
How 'bout you?  You gonna sit home alone while Mark's gone or are you gonna
get out and 'live a little'?" 

Kim laughed.  She knew that Rita knew that Kim was one of the lucky ones
who'd found a great guy that she'd never consider fooling around on.
Sometimes Kim almost felt guilty around Rita because of it.  She had had a
tough marriage with a guy who didn't appreciate what he had and gone through
an even tougher divorce.  But even so, it hadn't dimmed her enthusiasm for
life.  Rita still loved to get out with the girls whenever possible for a
movie or maybe even a drink and some dancing. 

"You know me, Rita.  Homebody extraordinaire!  No plans.  But I would like
to go to lunch today.  Sound OK?"  "Sounds great!  Where?"  "Our usual spot,
but today is my treat."  "You'll get no argument from me on that, but I
thought today was my turn," Rita stated.  "It is," replied Kim, "but I have
a favor to ask so I guess I'd feel a little better knowing I at least picked
up the tab!"  "After all the little and not so little things you've done for
me, I would think I'd be good for returning at least some small favor.
What's on your mind?"  "Well, it's not just any favor.  It's a little
unusual to say the least, but I'd rather wait until lunch to talk about it."
"Oooh, sounds interesting!  OK, lunch it is.  Noon?"  "Deal,"  Kim replied
and turned to take care of organizing the day's schedule. 

The morning went by very quickly as it always did.  One patient after
another, files to update, appointments to schedule, phones ringing almost
constantly.  Kim enjoyed the work but it was the break from the daily
routine at home that she loved the most.  She didn't want to work full time,
she really enjoyed taking care of the house.  She just needed some sort of
work outside the home to keep her mentally challenged.  Dr. Robbin's office
had been the perfect arrangement. 

"Twelve o'clock, hon," Rita chimed.  "Time for lunch.  And time to let me in
on the big secret!  I have to say, curiosity has the best of me.  Let's get
out of here.  I'm starving and I'm dying for a cigarette!  But I know you
can't relate to that!"  Kim didn't answer, but wondered what that feeling
would be like... 

They walked the half block to the restaurant where they normally had lunch
and the waiter offered them there usual table near the window.  Kim asked if
it would be possible to take a seat further back today and Rita smiled
knowing that Kim wanted to discuss something that was very important to her.
Rita agreed and asked the waiter if they could have the booth near the back
which offered a fair amount of privacy.  They were shown to their seats, and
ordered two cups of coffee. 

Kim watched intently as Rita opened her purse to find her pack of cigarettes
and lighter.  She noticed the brand name was 'Virginia Slims'  menthol
light, she read from the pack.  Rita lit the end and took a long, deep pull
and seemed to hold the smoke in before letting it out in a long stream. 

"OK, now I'm ready to listen.  What's going on, Kim?"   Kim decided now was
the time to simply tell Rita what was on her mind and began by asking,
"Rita, do you enjoy smoking?"  Rita took another deep puff and exhaled.  She
answered, "Yes, I guess I do.  I started again about a three years ago when
Tom and I were fighting so much.  I first started in high school and smoked
for about 10 years.  I quit when I was pregnant with Mandy but never got
over wanting one.  I'm still not sure how I managed to quit, but I knew it
was important because of the pregnancy.  Is this going to be a lecture about
the dangers of smoking?" 

"No, not at all.  As a matter of fact, you'll probably think I've lost my
mind, but, well, I'd like to try smoking myself.  I just don't know what to
do or how to do it.  I'm sure this sounds totally crazy, but it's something
I've decided to try and I thought I'd ask the only person I feel comfortable
enough to discuss it with to 'help me'.  Will you?"  Rita stared at Kim for
a moment then said, "Honey, I know you're depressed over Mark leaving for
such a long time, but I don't think this is the best answer.  Why don't you
take up aerobics or something more 90ish?  I mean, you're 28 years old.
It's your choice of course, but it just seems a little unusual for someone
your age to just decide they want to start smoking." 

Kim didn't want to go into the details of her conversation with Mark, so she
simply told Rita that for some reason she just had to see if there was
something she was missing.  Kim drank only socially, and had no other vices.
She assured Rita she was well aware of the health risks involved but let her
know that one way or the other, she planned to try it.  "I'd just feel more
comfortable if I had a friend to share this with Rita.  I don't want to put
you on the spot, but will you help me?" 

Rita finished her cigarette and said, "Yes, of course.  But one final
question.  What will Mark say if he comes back and finds out?  What if you
like it and find you can't quit?  He'll be furious!"  Kim thought of Mark
and the look on his face that morning as well as how he had explained his
'fantasy' the night before.  "Mark is the least of my worries, Rita.  He
loves me for me, and smoking won't change that.  In fact, I'm not so sure he
wouldn't find it rather sexy!"  That was all the hint she cared to offer her
friend and hoped that Rita wouldn't press any further. 

"So, I guess the next question is when you would you like to try your first
cigarette?  I just opened a new pack this morning.  Would you care for one
now?"  "No, not here.  I'd be too embarrassed to smoke in public.  I'd
probably cough and feel pretty stupid.  Are you free tonight or Saturday
evening?"  "I have plans tonight with Mandy to go to the movies, but
tomorrow sounds great.  How 'bout you come over for dinner about 7 pm?
Mandy is sleeping over at a friends and it'll be just the two of us.  Sound
good?"  "Sounds great!" said Kim.  "And Rita, can we keep this just between
the two of us?  I can't believe I had the nerve to bring it up with you and
I'm not ready for anyone else to know."  Kim knew there was no need to even
mention her concerns about keeping a secret.  Rita was one of the most
trustworthy people she knew.  "Don't worry, Kim.  I can keep a secret!
It'll be just between us girls!" 

After lunch, the two women returned to the office where Kim got things set
up for the rest of the afternoon and ready to go for Monday morning.  Kim
thought about Monday and what it would be like coming back to work a new
person.  Not entirely new, but changed, was perhaps the better word.  She
was somewhat amused at how easily she had discussed this issue with Rita and
now felt a deep satisfaction at having taken the first step to putting her
plan in motion.   

The morning and afternoon passed quickly as Kim worked around the house,
taking care of some much needed cleaning and tidying up that she had been
putting off in order to spend more time with Mark.  She had also gone to the
grocery store to pick up a few things for her nearly bare cupboards and
refrigerator.  She wouldn't be needing much in the way of food while Mark
was away so she made sure she had the necessities-fresh fruits, vegetables,
and things that could be thrown into the microwave. 

On the way home, Kim stopped at a 7-eleven where she felt comfortable no one
knew her and picked up a pack of cigarettes.  Kim was up early the next day.
She showered, and took care of her hair and makeup, then threw on a tan
cashmere sweater and jeans.  Virginia Slim menthol ultra lights.  Kim
noticed this 'milder' brand and figured it might be a bit easier for her
with these.  She was a little apprehensive and yet a bit exhilarated by the
new adventure.  At the counter she noticed a display stand of lighters and
picked up a pink colored one.  She paid the clerk and dropped them in purse
just like she was an old hand at this.  Again, she thought of Mark as sat
behind the wheel and backed out of the parking lot to head home. 

At 6:30, Kim grabbed a cardigan that matched her turtleneck, her green wool
coat, and took her purse off the coat hanger rack in the foyer.  Before
leaving, she checked to make the sure she had her cigarettes and lighter.
Satisfied that everything was in order, she locked the door behind her and
was on her way to Rita's.  

Rita met Kim at the door as she walked up the steps.  "Hi, hon, come on in!"
Rita said enthusiastically.  "I was sort of expecting you to call all day to
tell me you changed your mind.  Any second thoughts?"  "Oh, no," answered
Kim, "I'm even readier today than I was yesterday.  Let's get started!" 

Kim could smell the stale smell of tobacco smoke in Rita's home and for the
first time wondered if she could really do this.  She had never been an avid
anti-smoker and had never really given the idea a second thought.  Kim now
thought about the smell of smoke in her hair, her car, and her home.  How
would Mark feel about those things?  What if he just wanted to watch her
smoke but didn't want her to become a smoker?  "I don't have to actually
become a smoker", she thought.  "I'll just try it and see how I like it.  If
I can't deal with it, I'll just do it for Mark now and then." 

Rita led Kim into her living room where they took a seat on the sofa.  It
was obvious that Kim was a little nervous so Rita broke the ice by saying,
"Hey, let's talk a little about this before we give it a try.  Have you ever
smoked before?"  Kim told her that she had tried it a few times in high
school but never even inhaled. (Sort of like a famous politician, she
thought to herself!).  She just wanted to fit in with some friends who had
started smoking. 

"All right," Rita continued, "the first thing you need to know is how to
inhale so that you'll know what not to do for awhile.  Let me show you what
I mean."  Rita took a cigarette from her pack and gracefully lifted it to
her red lips.  She flicked her lighter and inhaled, the end glowing cherry
red.  She exhaled and said, "OK, take a puff into your mouth and just hold
it there.  Don't breathe in.  Hold it for a second or so, then just blow it
out smoothly like this."  Rita demonstrated.  The trail of smoke was
different than before.  It wasn't thick and dense and looked 'unnatural'.
Rita explained that this was because it hadn't mixed with the air in her
lungs so there was nothing but pure smoke being exhaled.  Rita needed a deep
drag herself so told Kim she would show her how to inhale properly.  "Do
just like before.  Take a little in-not too much or it'll make you cough.
Hold it briefly, then just breathe it in.  Breathe deeply, all the way in
and then just exhale, blowing the smoke out while keeping your lips slightly
pursed.  Like this."  Rita inhaled, held it in her mouth and let just a bit
of smoke escape through her slightly open lips, then suddenly pulled it all
back in, inhaling as deeply as she could.  She held the smoke in her lungs
for a second, then slowly exhaled a long stream of the thick, rich smoke Kim
had seen before. 

"I noticed some of the smoke 'escaped' before you inhaled.  What happened?"
Kim inquired.  "Oh, that's something similar to what's called 'French
inhaling'.  I enjoy doing that sometimes.  Some guys find it incredibly sexy
by the way!  You just let some (or a lot) of the smoke drift out of your
mouth and then quickly pull it all back in.  French inhaling is actually
inhaling the smoke you exhaled from your mouth back through your nose.
Here, I'll show you how that works."  Kim watched, fascinated by the stream
of smoke that seemed to swirl magically as Rita re-inhaled through her nose.
Kim was very interested in anything that would make her look as attractive
as possible and she determined to try and master both techniques as soon as
she could. 

"Last hint."  Rita went on saying, "style is very important for a woman.
Smoking can be very sexy, or very unattractive, depending on a number of
things.  The first thing is learning how to hold it properly.  Why don't you
take one and just practice holding it."  Kim opened the cellophane, pushed
back the top of the box, and removed the foil inside.  She couldn't help but
notice the menthol scent and commented that she hoped they tasted as good as
they smelled!  Rita said she doubted that that would be the case at first
but assured her that at some point, if she continued to smoke, a cigarette
would taste wonderful to her. 

Kim struggled to free a single cigarette from the pack and managed to
extract one.  She placed the pack down on the table and held in between her
first two fingers as Rita had demonstrated.  Rita explained that a woman
should always try to extend her fingers, holding the cigarette near the
filter letting the rest of the cigarette extend out as far as possible.  Kim
followed suit and listened as Rita showed her how to hold the cigarette near
the side of her face with her wrist slightly bent and her first two fingers
fully extended.  "So far, so good, Rita.  You're a great teacher!"  "Well,
I've had a good deal of practice, hon!  OK, now, when you take a puff, move
the cigarette slowly toward your mouth and part your lips just enough to
take the filter in your mouth, take a puff, and slowly move your hand back
to its natural place beside your cheek."  "Great, Kim," she said,
complementing her on her smoking style.  "Last couple of things.  Try not to
set your cigarette in an ashtray.  It looks tacky and the second hand smoke
is harder to keep away from non-smokers.  Lastly, when you need to 'de-ash',
just tap the cigarette once or twice quickly with your forefinger-like so."
Rita took a last deep puff and flicked the ashes in the ashtray, then ground
out the cigarette in the ashtray.  "Putting them out is really the only
thing that's still a bit unpleasant to me, but I don't really notice
anymore.  Some people actually drop them into water and flush them rather
than bothering with crushing them out."  "Well, that's everything I can tell
you.  Are you ready?"  Kim nodded enthusiastically and asked if she could go
ahead and light her first cigarette.  Rita said she'd like to have another
with her and after lighting her own, extended the flame of the lighter to
Kim, who having brought the cigarette up to her lips, bent forward slightly
to touch the end to the flame. 

Kim took in just a small amount of the warm smoke and held in for a second
as she had been instructed, then blew it out slowly.  "So, how was that,
hon?" Rita asked.  "Not as bad as I thought," answered Kim.  "In fact, it
tasted kind of cool or minty in a strange way.  Let me try a couple more
times."  Kim made a point of holding her cigarette just as Rita had taught
her near her face with her slender fingers extended.  She slowly and
casually brought the cigarette to her lips and took a slightly deeper puff,
held it a bit longer, and exhaled slowly.  She repeated this several more
times until the cigarette was just over half gone, and tried stubbing out.
Kim had a difficult time figuring out how to put it out without burning her
fingers.  Rita laughed playfully and took from her showed her just how to
crush it while turning it to completely extinguish it. 

"I'm ready to try inhaling, Rita," Kim said excitedly.  "That was fun!  What
do you think, should I try it yet?"  Having gotten over the second hurdle of
lighting a cigarette and puffing it (the first had been buying a pack) Kim
was anxious to make the transition from non-smoker to smoker (or at least
someone who could smoke an occasional cigarette with no problem.  Mark would
be so absolutely thrilled when he returned that the thought motivated Kim to
press on). 

"Sure, whenever you're ready.  You haven't really smoked until you've
inhaled.  Just go slowly at first.  Remember, hold it in your mouth, then
inhale deeply.  Let the smoke mix with the air in your lungs, then exhale.
Also, the further down the cigarette you go, the stronger it gets, so maybe
just a few puffs this time.  Too much too fast can make you feel a little
nauseated and we don't want this to be a bad experience.  So if you're
ready, let's have a cigarette.  I wouldn't mind another myself.  Your turn
to light them!" 

Kim removed another Virginia Slims menthol ultra light from her pack and
held it between her index and middle fingers.  She retrieved her red
lighter, flicked it and offered Rita a light.  Rita inhaled hungrily and set
back to watch Kim smoke her first real cigarette.  Kim relit her lighter and
lifted it to the end of her long, white cigarette with her free hand and
took a very small puff, then just blew it out.  "Ooops, sorry, I forgot what
I was doing.  Well, here goes!"  Kim gently placed the filter between her
red soft, full lips and inhaled gently.  She let the smoke sit in her mouth
for part of a second and breathed in slowly but deeply.  She could feel the
warm smoke enter her airway and make its way into her lungs.  As she
exhaled, she felt a warm tingling sensation at the back of neck which spread
to through her body and down her legs.  It was the most pleasant feeling of
light-headedness she had ever experienced.  The tingling was delightful and
she brought her cigarette back to her mouth for a second puff.  This time
she inhaled just a bit more smoke taking it deep into her lungs.  The
feeling of light-headedness grew and she felt just the slightest bit dizzy. 

"Wow," she exclaimed.  "I feel just a little bit dizzy!"  "That's totally
normal, honey," Rita explained.  "Just relax, take your time, and don't
inhale too deeply.  Just a couple more puffs and that should be enough for
now." 

Kim waited a minute or so, then took a third puff about as big as the second
one.  This time she let a small amount of smoke escape from between her
slightly parted lips, then inhaled as she had before.  Kim noticed a small,
white puffy cloud in front of her just before she recalled the smoke.  The
feeling of dizziness returned, but Kim was so happy with herself that she
paid no attention.  "Rita, I think I just copied your inhale!" she exclaimed
proudly.  "You sure did.  I think you're a natural at this!  One more and
then let's take a break for awhile.  Rita was finishing her cigarette as Kim
took a fourth puff.  This time, she tried taking in as much as she could
hold before inhaling.  She could feel a slight bit of tightness in her chest
as the smoke filled her lungs.  As she exhaled, a stream of smoke was
visible.  Not like Rita's, but visible, just the same.  Kim felt fairly
dizzy at this point but was also very satisfied with herself as she put out
her first cigarette on her own. 

Later, over a glass of white wine, Kim suggested having another cigarette.
Rita, who herself smoked roughly a pack and half per day, was more than
ready for a cigarette.  It had been nearly an hour since her last one with
Kim.  This time, Kim was able to inhale deeper and managed a French style
two of the five times.  The dizziness returned and seemed a bit stronger
because of the wine, she thought, but as she analyzed the feelings in her
body, she had to admit that overall, it was quite pleasant.  Even the taste
wasn't bad.  It was cool and mentholly. 

"Rita, I need some more advice.  How often should I have a cigarette?  I
mean, how do you know when you 'need' one?"  Rita smiled broadly and said,
"Kim, if you continue smoking regularly, the time will come when your body
will tell you it's time for a cigarette.  The longer you smoke, and the more
you smoke, the sooner the craving hits you.  Then, the longer you go without
one, the stronger they become.  So right now, you'll just have to see how
often you feel like smoking.  I wouldn't try smoking over 4 or 5 a day for
awhile.  If you enjoy it, you'll just naturally increase the number of
cigarettes you smoke each day until you reach a level that you're
comfortable with.  Just don't overdo it too soon." 

Kim finished her glass of wine and gave Rita a thank you kind of hug as she
was leaving.  "Thanks for a wonderful time, Rita.  I don't think I could
have done this alone without a lot of fumbling.  And I'm glad I have a
friend I can trust with something like this.  I'm quite ready to tell anyone
else about my new 'habit' yet."  "You know how well I can keep a secret,
hon.  Not a word to anyone and anytime you want to stop by just to have a
cigarette, or just talk, please feel free.  Take care and good-night!
"Night, Rita, and thanks again!" 

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