Losing It, Part 3

This fictional account contains adult language and sexual themes.  If such
language and themes offend you, please do not read further.  The persons and
events described in this work are purely fictional.  Any similarity to actual
persons or events is strictly coincidental.  Copyright 2002 by SSTORYMAN.  All
rights reserved.  Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this story in any
form and for any purpose as long as this notice is reproduced and no financial
remuneration is received, directly or indirectly, by the person reproducing or
using it.

The author gratefully acknowledges that some inspiration for this story came
from a 1998 story entitled "Weighty Problems" written by an anonymous author
posted elsewhere on this page.

LOSING IT

3.	The Weight Loss Program in Full Swing.

   Suzanne was waiting for her when she got home at midnight.  "How was the
party?"

   Francine shrugged.  "Fine."  She paused.  "Actually, Mom, it was great.
For the first time, I wasn't Fat Francine.  I felt normal.  I'm still heavier
than the other girls, but I'm getting there.  If anything, Kelley's party
convinced me I need to keep working on it."

   Suzanne gave her daughter a hug.  She paused.  Was she imagining it, or did
Francine smell of beer and cigarettes?  "What kind of party was it?" she asked
casually.

   "Kelley's one of Kristen's friend at work," she said offhandedly, hanging
up her jacket.  "She's in college.  Most of the kids were older than Kristen
and me."

   "You smell like smoke, honey.  Were some of the kids there smoking?"

   "Yeah, a few," Francine understated.  "I'm surprised you can tell, Mom.  I
figured your nose would be oblivious to the smell."

   "Don't be cruel, Francine," Suzanne scowled.  "Look, we've never needed to
talk about this; you've never gone to parties before.  I didn't say anything
about it when Kristen asked you to go, but I don't like you hanging out with
kids who drink and smoke."

   "Mom, they're in college," whined her daughter.  "And they're the first
people who ever treated me like a normal person, not some fat freak.  Don't
ruin it for me."

   "I'm not trying to ruin it.  I just want to be clear.  You're not to drink
with those kids, and you're not to smoke, either.  Understand?"

   "Mom, I had half a can of beer, okay?  There, I admit it.  But I bet you
drank beer in high school.  Unlike me, Mom, you were popular.  Don't start
preaching to me about smoking and drinking.  I know how to be careful."

   "It's _because_ I was a little too wild in high school that I know how
easily things spin out of control," Suzanne smiled.  "I'm not worried about
the beer, honey, if you're careful.  And I know you don't ever want to smoke.
I'm proud of you for that.  The only reason I bring it up now is that I don't
want you to make the same mistake I did at your age.  Cigarettes are
different.  Once you start with them, you can't stop."

   "Look, Mom," Francine shot back.  "You smoke all the time these days, so
don't lecture me about it, okay?  If you really thought it was so terrible,
you'd give it up.  I probably won't ever smoke," she fibbed.  "But even if I
did, you'd be in a tough position to cast the first stone."  She glared at her
mom.  "I'm going to bed now.  Good night."

   Suzanne was crestfallen.  "I'm sorry, honey.  Look, I didn't mean to
question your judgment.  I know you're smarter than I was at your age.  And
you're right about my smoking.  I smoke way too much.  It's just that it helps
me ?."  She was about to say it was a necessary evil, only something to help
her lose weight. But she decided not to say that.  "I'm going to quit," she
said instead.  "Soon.  Really."

   Francine laughed.  "Yeah, right.  Mom, I don't believe it.  You say that,
but I don't think it's true, and I don't think you think it's true, either.
Your cigarettes are a crutch and, good for you, they work.  You say you only
smoke so you won't eat so much.  But I don't think that's the only reason you
smoke anymore.  I don't think you _want_ to quit!"

   Her daughter angrily stomped upstairs.  Suzanne stared out the window into
the darkness.  She was right, damn it!  It was true.  All her talk about
quitting was just that - talk!  Reaching for her Benson & Hedges, she lit up
another one.  Who was she kidding?  She wasn't going to quit; not this time,
not ever.  Nor did she want to.  As she exhaled into the dark, she told solace
in the fact that at least Francine wouldn't get caught up in the same
inescapable web of addition that she was enmeshed in.

   As usual, the next morning Suzanne left at eight.  The kitchen was still
smoky from the four cigarettes she smoked with her coffee.  Francine smiled as
she wandered in the room.  She got a cup of coffee.  Usually she poured a bowl
of cereal with skim milk.  Not today.  From the pocket of her robe she took
the pack of Marlboro Lights 100's.  Today, she'd smoke instead!

   She sat down at the table and lit up a cigarette.  She still wasn't crazy
about its taste, but she smiled as she remembered Kristen's mantra.  "The next
puff's always better than the last one."  It was true.  She was more
comfortable smoking at that moment than she was yesterday.  Pretending to be a
smoker at the party was a good idea.  She was glad she did it.  She puffed
again on the cigarette, and smiled as she blew out the smoke.  She wouldn't
have time to think about eating while concentrating on this strange exercise.

   She began thinking about inhaling.  Kristen inhaled; so did her mom.
Everyone who smoked inhaled!  She felt she had to learn.  It couldn't be hard.
Kristen said it just took a little time to get used to.  Well, she had time,
lots of it.  In the nine hours till her mom returned, she'd smoke a lot.  No
time like the present, she mused.

   The still slightly plump teen put her cigarette in her mouth and dragged
longer than usual.  Last night she paid attention to Kristen's style, and
watched her mom's, too.  Removing the cigarette from her lips, she opened her
mouth and quickly sucked the smoke inside her chest instead of blowing it back
out.

   The feeling was exhilarating, like someone, or something, hitting her in
the chest, but pushing from the inside.  It didn't feel bad.  It felt heavy
inside, but invigorating.  She pursed her lips to exhale.  At first, nothing
happened.  Then, a thick stream of white smoke, carried along on her breath,
began to flow from her lips.  It grew denser for a few seconds and gradually
dissipated.  She did it!  Kristen said she might feel like coughing if she
tried it, but she consciously and successfully fought the urge to gag.  "Wow,
that's cool," she sighed happily, tapping an ash into one of her mom's
ashtrays.  "Yeah, that is _way_ cool!"

   Excited, she tried it again, pulling a second deposit of smoke inside.  The
same heavy feeling in her lungs returned, but she exhaled successfully.  Then
her head began to throb.  She felt dizzy.  Kristen warned about that, too, so
she sipped her coffee.  The caffeine cleared her head.  She took a deep
breath, and dragged again.  It was beginning to feel _so_ much nicer than she
expected!  She pursed her lips to exhale again.  The smoke looked so different
coming out of her mouth after she inhaled first.  It was more under her
control as she exhaled.

   The head rush returned, this time with a vengeance.  Even coffee didn't
make it go away.  Too much smoke, she decided.  Time to crush it out.  Before
she did, though, she took a last drag and inhaled again.  The room was
spinning as she exhaled another thick stream.  She stubbed out the cigarette
in the ashtray and tried to get up.  She almost fell down.  Her legs gave way.
She laughed, and carefully made her way to the family room.  She laid on the
couch and closed her eyes.  She felt strange.  But not bad; no, not bad at
all.  Just strange.  She blinked her eyes and rolled over.  In a few seconds
she fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

   Forty-five minutes later she awoke, refreshed.  She never napped, but
something about smoking like that, and inhaling, well, it _really_ relaxed
her.  Sitting up, she realized she wasn't hungry.  She hadn't had breakfast,
but nevertheless wasn't famished.  "Success," she laughed aloud.  "God, it
worked!"  Victoriously, she went to change into her sweats for her workout.

   She did her usual routine, which took nearly an hour.  Toweling herself off
after, she saw her pack of Marlboro Lights 100's still on the kitchen table.
Often after she ran, she felt inexplicably hungry, and that was true today.
"Well, I know what to do about that," she laughed out loud.  Sweating, she sat
down at the kitchen table to have another cigarette.

   She began by inhaling again.  Because she'd exercised her lungs, the smoke
affected her more.  But she didn't mind.  It felt good, though she felt
herself getting dizzy after several drags.  And once again, smoking eliminated
her hunger pangs.  After finishing the cigarette, she took a shower and
dressed.  She felt good.  She felt triumphant.  She felt sure this was going
to work.

   For lunch she repeated the routine with two consecutive cigarettes and
coffee.  Maybe it was the excitement of doing something illicit, or maybe the
pharmacological impact of nicotine.  Whatever, she felt completely satiated,
though she hadn't eaten, and that pleased her greatly.

   At three she ate her afternoon snack of raw vegetables and diet pop,
supplemented with another cigarette.  By now she felt comfortable inhaling,
and did it with each puff.  She didn't feel as dizzy, or hungry.  It seemed to
be working, so she had another cigarette an hour later.

   Suzanne got home at six.  "Hey, honey, what happened?  You emptied my
ashtrays," she noted happily while she hung up her coat.  "What gives?"

   "I thought it'd be nice if I cleaned up a little more," Francine casually
replied.  "No big deal.  Last night I yelled at you about smoking too much.
I'm sorry.  I was too cruel.  So I decided I'd clean the ashtrays, sort of as
a peace offering."

   Suzanne grinned.  Her daughter used to say she'd never touch an ashtray, to
empty or clean it.  Now, the ashtrays on the kitchen table and in the family
room were spotless and shiny.  "That's very nice, dear.  I hope you're not
doing it as a prelude to another lecture."

   "Not me, Mom.  I'm done lecturing you about smoking.  You're grown-up.
Decide for yourself what you want to do.  Did you notice the rest of the
kitchen is cleaned up, too?"

   Suzanne looked.  It was true.  Francine washed the pots and pans and put
them away, filled the dishwasher, and cleaned the counter tops and table.  In
reality, she did it to eliminate all traces of her smoking.  But there was no
reason not to use her subterfuge to earn brownie points.

   Her mom lit up a B&H and began to fix supper.  Francine was being an angel.
She never cleaned up.  Perhaps she was too hard on her about that party.
After all, she was a good kid, Suzanne told herself.  She had no reason not to
trust her.

   They ate together and talked about nothing in particular.  Finally Suzanne
felt it was time for her to make peace, too.  "Listen, Francine, I'm sorry for
how I went on last night.  I never meant to suggest I don't trust you.  I know
you'd never do anything to disappoint me.  I didn't intend to suggest
otherwise.  Will you forgive me for being so bitchy?"

   "Sure, Mom," the youngster smiled.  "I understand.  I've never gone to
parties, so it's new for me, too.  But I liked it.  It gave me extra incentive
to work out and eat right.  You once said you thought I was a very pretty girl
underneath the fat."  Seeing her mom about to protest, she went on.  "You
never said it that way, but it's what you meant.  Well, I _was_ a fatty.  But
no more.  I intend to push past this plateau and keep losing pounds till I get
to 105.  I can do it.  I know I can.  If I keep doing what I'm doing, I'll be
just as thin, and just as attractive, as you."

   Suzanne blushed.  Reaching for her cigarettes, she lit up.  "I have
something to tell you.  I met a guy at work named Roger.  He's real nice.  He
asked me to have dinner tomorrow.  I said I would."  She giggled.  "God,
Francine.  Do you believe it?  A real date!  I like Roger.  I hope something
can happen between us."  She paused for a drag on her cigarette.  "After your
father, I swore I'd never date anyone from work.  But Roger's different.  I
guess if I don't take a risk, I'll never find out if a relationship can be
different from the lousy one I had with your dad.  I hope you don't mind if I
go out with Roger."

   "That's great, Mom," Francine giggled.  "Why would I mind?"

   Suzanne cleared her throat.  "Well, honey, Roger smokes.  We talked about
it several times.  He has no interest in quitting.  He says he won't go out
with any woman who doesn't share his addiction.  So, I guess what I'm saying
is, ?."

   "You're shelving all your plans to quit?" Francine finished.  "Is that it?"

   "Yeah, basically.  For now, anyway.  I'm sorry, honey.  I know you're
disappointed."

   Relieved is more like it, Francine thought, smiling.  "Mom, I've been
bitchy myself, nagging you about smoking.  But it's been a big help to you
losing weight.  I guess I don't mind if you decide to keep smoking for good.
Really, it's okay.  It's totally up to you.  I'm used to it now anyway, to be
honest.  It doesn't bother me so much anymore.  So, I'm cool with it."

   Inside, Suzanne was ecstatic.  This turned out better than she thought
possible!  "Oh my God, thanks, Francine!  I appreciate you understanding.  I
just hope you never get yourself in the fix I'm in.  I'm so goddamn dependent
on these stupid things!  I don't like it, but it's just how it is.  Anyway, I
want you to know how much I appreciate you, dear."

   "No problem, Mom," the teenager grinned.  "No problem at all."  Because as
long as you keep smoking, she mused, I'll do exactly what you're doing, so I
can lose my extra pounds, too.  And you'll never know that it's my smoking
that's also stinking up our house!

   The rest of that week Francine continued to smoke.  Each morning she smoked
a cigarette instead of eating breakfast.  She had another after her morning
workout, two at noon instead of lunch, and one or two more with her afternoon
snack of carrot sticks.  It eliminated her hunger pangs, and Kristen's little
mantra continued to prove true.  Each drag did seem easier, better, more
enjoyable, than the previous one.  Throughout the week she averaged seven or
eight cigarettes a day.  Despite her early misgivings, she actually started to
enjoy the experience.

   Most Saturdays Suzanne went to the office, and this was no exception.  She
left later, however.  Francine stayed in bed till she heard her mom's car go.
She didn't want Suzanne to know she was skipping breakfast.  Hearing the
garage door, she bounced out of bed and bounded down the stairs.  She glanced
at the clock.  Nine thirty.  She nervously retrieved her cigarettes.  She was
really anticipating this one!  She lit up and hit hard on her Marlboro Light
100.  Without realizing it, she double-pumped.  She'd seen her mom do it, but
she never had before.  Smoke poured from her nostrils during her second
successive hit.  Why had she done that?  She didn't know.  She only knew she
was glad to be finally smoking again!

   "I guess it's because I'm so hungry," she rationalized, hitting on it
again.  "By this time most mornings, smoking's killed my hunger.  But not
today, because Mom left late," she mused during another long exhale.  "God,
now it's working, though" she sighed happily, dragging once more.  "I can
almost feel the uneasiness in my stomach disappearing."

   After a few hits, she settled into a more leisurely smoking pace.  She
glanced at the morning paper while sipping coffee and finishing her cigarette.
"There's no way I could skip breakfast without these," she said aloud.  "Mom
was so goddamned smart about this.  And I'm so glad I inherited her little
secret!"

   She crushed the first cigarette and stared at her pack on the table.  "Oh,
what the hell," she muttered, taking another.  She still felt hunger, or
something.  Instinctively she knew having another one would get her ready to
face the day.  She lit it up, this time consciously double-pumping.  "This is
kind of cool," she thought as smoke again gushed from her nostrils in the
midst of her second drag.  The extra nicotine kick completely muted her
remaining hunger.

   Suzanne would be home mid-afternoon, so Francine did her daily workout
early.  She smoked afterwards, as usual, and again at lunchtime.  She felt
good, and very happy.

   Suzanne got home at two thirty.  The house seemed a little smoky, but she
thought nothing of it.  She figured it was her imagination.  As usual,
Francine had emptied and cleaned all the ashtrays, a trend Suzanne noted
favorably.  She didn't realize her daughter's motivation was to hide traces of
her own smoking earlier in the day.

   On Sunday mother and daughter went to mass together and spent the day
relaxing.  For the first time in days Francine didn't smoke.  She ate a modest
breakfast and lunch.  She didn't want Suzanne to know she wasn't eating the
meals the rest of the week.  It didn't bother her much not smoking.  She only
thought of it a couple times, mostly when Suzanne lit up.

   Monday morning Francine stepped on the scales and whelped for joy.  "Oh my
God," she gasped.  "I'm down to 124 pounds!"  She excitedly skipped
downstairs.  "I'm losing weight again, Mom," she literally shouted.  "I lost
three pounds this last week."

   Suzanne was putting her jacket on to leave for work.  "Good for you, honey.
I told you that plateau wouldn't last.  You'll lose those pounds.  Just keep
doing what you're doing."

   Francine grinned.  "Don't worry, Mom.  I will."

   And she did.  Francine settled into a new routine that included smoking
regularly six days a week.  For an entire month, the next four weeks, Francine
continued in that mode.  She'd have a couple cigarettes each morning when
Suzanne left.  She smoked again after her workout, and instead of eating
lunch.  Several times a week she hung out in the afternoons with Kristen while
her friend took a break, and Francine smoked there, or at home if didn't visit
her friend.

   Kelley, Kristen's friend at work, continued to invite Francine and Kristen
to parties, and Francine smoked there, too.  Throughout the month she averaged
eight or nine cigarettes a day, except Sundays when her mom was home.  She
wasn't conscious of craving to smoke more, but she began to look forward more
and more to the first cigarettes of the day in the mornings Suzanne left.  She
hated to admit it, but she really was beginning to enjoy her budding habit for
its own sake, not just as a weight loss tool.

   Getting cigarettes was a minor problem.  At first Francine tried to buy
them, but each time she got carded.  Kristen came to the rescue.  Kelley
bought cigarettes for Kristen.  When Francine mentioned her dilemma, Kristen
offered Kelley's services.  Soon their 19 year old friend was also buying
Marlboro Lights 100's for Francine as well.

   As the final development of the month, Kristen began hanging out at
Francine's on days she didn't work.  She'd hoped Francine's house would become
a smoking safe haven to use on her days off, and it did.  The girls hung out
together, smoking and drinking coffee.  Francine was always careful to empty
the ashtrays into the trash every night before Suzanne came home.

   By the end of the first month, Sundays began to be a bit of a problem for
the fledgling smoker.  Francine hated missing her morning cigarettes.  She
started begging off going to church with Suzanne.  That way she had time home
alone to enjoy a couple morning cigarettes.  Sunday afternoons she began doing
her daily run outside.  She said it was because the weather was nice.  The
truth was it gave her an opportunity to sneak out and smoke, a cigarette
before she ran and a couple more after.  It was no longer about weight loss;
it was about smoking.  She liked it too much to miss even a day without at
least a few cigarettes.

   Suzanne never noticed what was happening.  Her relationship with Roger
distracted her.  It was developing nicely.  She loved having male
companionship after years of not dating.  When she was fat, no one wanted her.
But the new, sleek Suzanne was truly gorgeous.  Roger spent time with her and
Francine at their house in the evenings.  Despite initial misgivings, Francine
finally decided she liked him.  He was good for her mom, and because he
smoked, having another smoker around several evenings a week gave her
confidence to continue her own secret, growing indulgence.

   In mid-July, after her first month as a smoker, Francine got on the scales
on a Monday morning for her weekly weigh in.  She gasped.  She weighed 115
pounds, only ten over her ideal weight.  She was ecstatic, and paused to
admire herself in the mirror.  Yeah, she looked good; damn good!  She liked
how she looked.  No longer was she fat.  As Kristen predicted, she retained
her big tits, but her waist and hips only looked elegantly curvaceous.  It was
a marvelous sight to behold!  She was excited.

   She descended the stairs.  Suzanne was already gone.  Francine opened her
purse to get her cigarettes.  The pack was empty.  "Damn," she muttered,
climbing the stairs to get a fresh pack.  She opened the bottom drawer of her
dresser where she kept her supply.  None were there.  "Oh shit," she
exclaimed.  "I forgot.  I'm out of cigarettes.  That was my last pack!"

   By now she felt almost desperate for her start-the-morning cigarettes.  She
could take some money to the restaurant to give Kelley, but it'd be the next
day till she could pick up a fresh supply.  "Damn," she cursed again.  "Shit!"

   She wandered downstairs in a daze.  Damn it, she wanted to smoke!  She
considered eating breakfast instead, but decided not to.  After all, the point
of smoking was to substitute for food.  But in her heart, she knew it wasn't
food she wanted.  She wanted a cigarette.  She really wanted one.  No, she
wanted two, at least two, and she didn't want to wait, either.

   She'd always been careful not to steal cigarettes from Suzanne.  Francine
didn't know if she kept track of her cigarette supply.  Smoking her mom's
cigarettes was a risk she never wanted to take.  But now, she had no choice.
She had to do it.  She couldn't make it through the morning without smoking,
and didn't want to, especially since she'd tipped the scales at 115 that day.
She could go to the restaurant and bum off Kristen, but that meant showering
and dressing and driving.  No, it wasn't acceptable.  She had to take some
from her mom.  She had to risk it.

   She opened the cabinet where Suzanne kept her carton.  There were five
packs inside.  "She'll never notice one missing," she assured herself.  She
lifted out a gold pack of Benson & Hedges.  Her hands shook.  Was it nerves,
or did she just need to smoke?  She didn't know.  All she did know was that
she had to do this!

   She always got her Marlboro Lights 100's in the box.  Her mom had soft
packs.  It took a moment to figure how to tear the cellophane and peel off the
inner silver paper on one side.  Her mom tapped the soft pack against her
wrist to get the cigarettes out of a newly opened pack.  Francine did that,
and several all white filters emerged.

   She grinned.  The anticipation was killing her.  She glanced at the clock.
It was eight thirty.  Usually by now she'd already smoked two cigarettes.
With trembling fingers, she removed one Benson & Hedges from the gold pack and
placed it in her mouth.

   She clicked her lighter, and lit up.  She did her usual double pump, and
tasted the stronger, richer flavor of her mother's full flavor premium
cigarettes.  "Oh my God!  These things are so fuckin' good," she gasped,
surprised.  She dragged again on the B&H and pulled more of the rich, pungent
smoke deep into her chest.  The rush of nicotine in her lungs felt great.  She
held the smoke in longer than usual.  Finally she exhaled, and a rush of thick
smoke escaped through her lips.

   "God, why did Kristen say I shouldn't smoke my mom's brand?  These are _so_
much better than Marlboro Lights 100's!"  She hit again on the cigarette.  The
cherry end crackled from the hard suction her lips applied.  With an audible
whoosh she pulled the smoke inside her chest.  God, it felt good!  No wonder
her mom always smoked these.  "It isn't be a problem smoking Benson & Hedges,"
she laughed as she exhaled again.  "I like 'em!  They're very satisfying!"

   She finished the first cigarette and chained into another.  The full, rich
tobacco flavor of the Benson & Hedges was extraordinarily satisfying.  She
loved the rich taste.  It made the whole smoking experience more enjoyable.
As she sipped her coffee and enjoyed the cigarette, the thought of eating
breakfast was a million miles away, precisely where she wanted it!

   The rest of the day Francine worked her way through the pilfered pack of
Benson & Hedges, relishing every cigarette.  She liked them so much she had an
extra one at noon, and another additional cigarette for her afternoon snack.
And, since they were her mom's brand, this time she didn't worry about
cleaning out the ashtrays before Suzanne came home.

   After her "snack," she drove to the restaurant to see Kristen and give
Kelley money to buy more cigarettes.  She decided to ask for a carton of
Benson & Hedges.  She definitely preferred her mom's brand over the Marlboro
Lights 100's.

   Kelley was at the hostess stand when she arrived.  "Hi, Kelley.  Where's
Kristen?"

   The strawberry blond looked surprised.  "Oh my God!  Didn't you hear?"

   "No.  What?"

   "Oh, that's right!  She can't call you.  Last night Kristen's mom found
cigarettes in her jacket.  She hit the roof!  Kristen admitted she smokes here
at work.  Her mom called Jack, our manager.  She told him Kristen can't come
in to work anymore.  She grounded Kristen for the rest of the summer; no phone
calls and no working.  I guess she was totally pissed!"

   Francine gasped.  "Oh God!  Poor Kristen.  Is there anything we can do?"

   Kelley shook her head.  "I don't think so.  I took Kristen's place as
hostess; we're short a person.  I don't think there's anything to do.  Poor
Kristen's gonna have to quit smoking, I suppose.  Her mom will watch her like
a hawk now.  Poor kid."  She looked at her watch.  "Hey, I'm due for a break,
Francine.  Do you want to sit down with me since Kristen isn't here?"

   Francine smiled.  She was pleased the older girl wanted to hang out.
"Yeah, sure, Kelley.  I'd like that."

   Another girl relieved Kelley, and she and Francine headed to the smoking
section.  They sat down, and Kelley lit up a Marlboro 100.  She saw Francine's
pack of Benson & Hedges and smiled.  "Ah, I see you decided to trade up," she
wryly observed.  "Good choice!"

   "These?  Yeah, I'll give you the money to buy me a whole carton of Benson &
Hedges," Francine grinned, exhaling an initial puff.  "I stole this pack from
my mom.  I like 'em a whole lot better than Kristen's Marlboro Lights 100's."

   "Kristen smokes Marlboro Lights because her mom does," Kelley observed.
"I'm not a fan of lights, unless there's nothing else.  I'll be glad to get
you a carton of Benson & Hedges.  Congratulations, Francine.  Now you're
becoming a real smoker, if you're smoking these."

   Francine considered Kelley's offhand statement.  God!  Was she a real
smoker?  Well, she'd been smoking for over a month.  It helped her lose
weight, but that was no longer the reason.  She _liked_ smoking.  She could no
longer imagine not pausing several times a day to enjoy the extraordinary
pleasure of lighting up and pulling that marvelous smoke into her lungs.
Yeah, Kelley was right.  She _had_ become a real smoker.  Amazingly, it didn't
trouble her!

   She smiled at her.  "Yeah, Kelley, you're right.  I am a smoker now.  And I
like it."

   Jack, the manager, approached.  "I'm on break, Jack," Kelley dryly said
without turning her head.  "Don't give me any shit."

   "I know you're on break, Kelley," Jack smiled.  "I'm here to talk to
Francine."

   The brunette girl quizzically looked up.

   "Francine, you heard about Kristen?"  Seeing her nod, Jack went on.  "It's
a damn shame.  Her mom was pissed.  She screamed at me on the phone and
accused me of encouraging Kristen to smoke.  I told her it's none of my
business if employees smoke on breaks.  I'm not a babysitter, for Christ's
sake.  Anyway, I don't think Kristen will be back.  So now I'm short a
hostess.  I need help.  Are you interested in Kristen's job?  You can start
right away if you are."

   "Me?  A hostess?  Here?"

   "Yeah, why not?  You hang out here all the time.  You know the staff, you
know the menu and how we do things.  To be frank, I need a pretty girl for the
job, one with a sweet face and big smile to make customers comfortable.
Someone like you, Francine.  What do you say?"

   "Gosh, I don't know," she stammered.  "I'd have to talk to my mom.  But I'd
like to, I guess."  She smiled.  "Yeah, it'd be fun if I could."

   "Talk to your mom.  Call me at home," he said, handing her a card.  "If
it's okay with her, I want you to start tomorrow.  Same hours as Kristen's,
seven thirty to five thirty.  An hour for lunch, at ten thirty or one thirty,
and two official 15 minute breaks."  He grinned.  "Of course, you can take as
many 'unofficial' smoke breaks as you want as long as we're not busy."

   Francine was stunned.  Jack considered her pretty!  She blushed and smiled.
"I'd really like to, Jack.  I'll see if I can talk Mom into it."

   "Do your best.  You'll be perfect, Francine.  Provide your own khaki pants
and white shirt; we provide the apron.  Be here a few minutes before seven
thirty tomorrow morning."

   Kelley grinned when Jack walked off.  "I wondered what Jack would do.
Francine, it'd be great if you took Kristen's place.  We all know you and like
you."  She took a drag on her Marlboro 100.  "You'll be a great hostess;
you're pretty.  And you can smoke here all day long, you know," she grinned.
"You'd like that.  It's the best part."

   Francine hit on her B&H.  "Yeah, I would like that," she agreed, inhaling
deeply.  "I feel bad for Kristen, though.  You know, Kelley, I've been so fat
for so long that I never considered the possibility of getting a job like
this.  No one wants a fat girl."  Smoke flowed from her smiling mouth as she
talked.

   "You're _not_ fat anymore, kid," Kelley laughed.  "You're a real babe.  It
doesn't surprise me that Jack wants you.  He likes pretty girls."

   Francine ignored the compliment, though she liked hearing it.  "One thing
worries me.  Kristen's mom and my mom are friends.  She might call my mom to
talk about it.  What if my mom asks me if I smoke, too?"

   "Lie," Kelley sneered.  "Deny it.  I did in high school.  We all did.  Your
mom smokes, so just be careful and keep it a secret till you turn eighteen.
Then there's nothing she can do."

   Francine exhaled a long plume of smoke.  "I started to smoke to lose
weight.  I planned to quit when I'd lost enough.  I'm almost there; ten pounds
to go.  But now, I don't know about quitting," she said hesitantly.  "I mean,
I like smoking.  God, I really like it!  Truth?   I don't want to quit
anymore, now or ever."  She gave a guilty grin.  "Do you think that's bad?"

   "Du-uh," laughed the blond.  "It's not bad.  It's normal.  Of course you
don't want to quit.  None of us wants to.  My advice is, don't.  Who cares if
Kristen's mom calls yours?  I doubt Kristen will rat on you, but even if she
does, don't admit anything."

   Francine sighed.  "I don't know.  Maybe I should tell her.  She admits she
can't quit.  I also don't think she wants to.  Mom likes her cigarettes, just
like I do.  Maybe she'd understand if I told her I want to smoke, too, like
she does."

   Kelley looked at her watch.  "I don't know, but I have to get back to
work."  She took a last powerful hit on her Marlboro 100.  "Good luck, kid.
I'll pick up a carton of Benson & Hedges tonight for you and bring it in
tomorrow.  Do you want box or soft pack?"

   "Uh, soft pack," Francine smiled.  "I kind of like the soft pack.  Thanks,
Kelley."

   "No problem," her blond friend smiled, still exhaling smoke.  "Maybe I'll
see you tomorrow for work."

   "I hope so.  That'd be fun."  But how would her mother react to the idea?
She didn't know, but she'd do her best to make it happen.  Kelley's comment
about being able to smoke all day sounded particularly good to Francine.  That
would definitely be a treat!

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