Metamorphosis, Part 1

(by, 05 December 1995)

Ratings not available

Index by date | Index by author | Index by subject
Get Recommendations
Smoking From All Sides ( Glamor - Pics | Female Celebrity Smoking List )
[ Printer friendly version ]
Jump to part: 1 2 3 4

Article 4727 of
Message-ID: <>
From: (totsecret)
Organization: Anonymous forwarding service
Date: Tue,  5 Dec 1995 18:55:10 UTC
Subject: Story: Metamorphosis (1/4)
Lines: 220

    Part I - To Have and To Hold

    "My mom asked me last night why I smelled like cigarette smoke", said
Beth, and her cheeks hollowed as she inhaled smoke deeply into her lungs from
her Marlboro. Lunch was one of the few times she could smoke at school, and
she took full advantage of it.

    "So what did you say?" asked Cathy, as she puffed on her cigarette. The
group that smoked at lunch was friendly towards her, but it was apparent to
the others that it was peer pressure that was driving Cathy's smoking. She
never inhaled and always bummed her cigarettes from the others, who knew that
the addiction hadn't become part of her life like it had with them.

    "I told her that every time I go to the bathroom here my hair and clothes
smell like smoke," replied Beth after exhaling a long stream of white smoke,
"And then I told her that a lot of my friends smoke but I don't." Everyone
smiled at that.

    "I think we all tell our parents that," Cathy haughtily replied, yet again
trying too hard to be like everyone else around her. She took a small puff on
her cigarette, hoping to amplify but only contradicting what she had said

    "Except for us, it's the truth", Laura shot back. Laura was usually quiet
and chose her words carefully, so the few words she said always had full
effect. With her height and poise she seemed older than a high school student,
and when pressed she admitted that she was dating a guy from a local college.
She saw that what she said had hit Cathy unexpectedly hard, so she added with
a smile "We'll show you how to inhale whenever you want."

    "It really isn't that hard", helpfully added Julie, who was one of the
heaviest smokers in the group. Without realizing it, she demonstrated by
drawing hard on her Winston so that the smoke tickled her lungs, then exhaled
through her nose and mouth.

    Cathy looked at the girls around her who she hoped to be her friends, and
said "Ok, show me". After almost two months smoking, she looked stupid if she
didn't inhale. Right now she only smoked a few cigarettes a day during lunch,
and could tell that the smokes she bummed didn't come totally freely.

    Julie jumped in with careful directions: "Draw lightly at first, and open
your mouth a little to mix some air with the smoke."

    Cathy followed the directions, and smiled after she exhaled the biggest
plume of smoke that had ever come out of her. Without realizing it, with that
simple act her life had turned a corner. All the girls complemented her, and
Cathy warmed with the encouragement.

    "About what we were talking about before, none of your parents know that
you smoke?" asked Julie incredulously. Everyone replied in the negative.

    "Nope, and it's especially hard when both of your parents smoke," said
Beth, "Julie, you don't know good you have it". Everyone laughed, and Cathy
wondered what Beth was talking about. Her curious looks were ignored.

    "What do you mean?" Cathy finally asked a little shrilly, upset that no
one responded to her questioning look.

    "Julie didn't start smoking like the rest of us," Laura wryly said, "Beth
and I just bought a pack one day and went to the park, but it was different
for Julie." Laura remembered arguing with Beth about what brand to buy that
first day, Laura wanted Camels and Beth wanted Marlboro's. Laura won out, and
had been smoking Camels ever since, but Beth quickly switched to Marlboro's.

    "I used to hate smoking, and gave my mother a hard time whenever she
smoked", Julie replied. She tapped the ash off of her cigarette. "We didn't
have much money at the time and my mom was smoking when she told me I couldn't
have ten bucks for a field trip. I got angry at her, and told her we'd have
the money if she didn't smoke." Her almost finished cigarette rested between
her fingers as she got her pack of Winston's off the ground next to her. She
chain smoked whenever she could at school, or she wouldn't be able to
concentrate in class because of the nicotine craving. Everyone smoked in
silence as they waited for her to continue. Cathy wanted to ask how Julie ever
could have hated smoking, since she was always the first person out here for
"lunch". Everyone else waited with the smiles of people who are listening to
an enjoyable story they have heard many times before . Julie lit her new
cigarette off the old one and inhaled for a full two seconds before letting
her breath out thankfully.

    "I think mom had a bad day at work, because she totally flipped out. Then
she told me the deal: if I smoked a cigarette with her exactly like she did,
she'd give me the $10. If I smoked a carton and still could tell her that
smoking was terrible, she'd quit." Julie realized she still had the almost
finished cigarette in her left hand, and the new one in her right. She crushed
out the old one into the ground next to her.

    "Part of the deal was that I would only smoke at home, so it seems totally
normal for me to smoke at home, with my mom especially since in the beginning
she wanted to watch me to make sure I didn't throw the cigarettes away or
something. Looking back I can't believe she was able to convince me, but I'm
glad she did." Julie smiled as she knocked ash off and inhaled.

    "If my parents knew I was smoking, they'd kill me," said Beth, "And
together they smoke three packs every day! I think my mom knows I smoke, but
doesn't want to believe it so my lame excuse worked." She knew lunch period
was nearly over, so she stopped talking and gave her full attention to her

    "I have it worse - my mom doesn't smoke, and is really annoying when
anyone else does", added Laura.

    "I can't imagine being able to smoke at home. Not only that, but your mom
getting you to start!" Cathy said. She had crushed out her cigarette, and had
decided she wasn't going to ask for another one. She wouldn't admit it to
herself, but she thought that that the girls would accept her more not only if
she inhaled, but also if if she actually bought her own cigarettes. She also
did not admit to herself that buying cigarettes instead of bumming them was a
big step for a smoker. Instead she told herself that she'd feel better if she
didn't annoy people with requests for cigarettes.

    As they smoked the girls chatted about Jeff Bell, the guy who Julie had a
crush on, and who might be interested in return. Julie always saw him at
lunch, but he never came over even though they made eye contact. They
reassured her that it wasn't because he wasn't interested but because he was
shy and probably wanted to talk to her one on one.

    On the way home after school Cathy stopped at the convenience store near
school. She hadn't realized it before, but this store's windows were plastered
with cigarette advertisements. She slowly walked into the store and went to
the back, as far as possible from the register and the cigarettes behind it.
Even though she felt she had been smoking for two months, she was still scared
to buy a pack. Smoking a few cigarettes outside during lunch five days a week
didn't seem very public (in front of adults was different than in front of
other kids, somehow), but stepping up to the counter seemed very public. But
she realized that she really looked forward to today's lunch after the long
weekend. It would be easier to get through the next weekend if she had her own
cigarettes and didn't have to go without from Friday until Monday. With this
thought giving her courage, she headed to the counter.

    "Can I help you?" asked the old woman behind the counter.

    Her brain froze. This was like asking her grandmother for cigarettes and
she hadn't even chosen the brand in all her confusion.

    "Uh. Um, could I have a pack of Camels please?"

    The next thing she knew, Cathy was outside the convenience store with the
Camels in her hand, but with neither matches nor lighter. Her first impulse
was to quickly run away. She could get a light from someone tomorrow at lunch.
But she wanted to have her own light tomorrow, and now that she had her Camels
in her hand, she felt differently. She had bought them because she wanted to
have her own at lunch and maybe some over the weekend, which was days in the
future. Now she wanted to smoke on her own. She was amazed by the idea of
doing just that, so she turned around and went back in the store.

    After getting a cheap blue lighter, Cathy rushed to the cemetery a few
blocks from her house. It was right next to the river, and roads meandered by
the gravestones. She followed one road over a hill to the river and sat down
on the bank. After making sure she couldn't be seen from above, she took the
Camels and her lighter out of her pocket and held them in her hands. A thrill
coursed through her as she felt the soft pack and cheap lighter in her hands -
they were hers.

    She packed down the cigarettes just like Laura, Julie, and Beth did,
drawing out the process. As she gradually pulled the cellophane off the pack
she forgot about being a high school student with nagging parents, no real
friends, average grades, and no self-esteem. Cathy drew a cigarette out of the
pack, and imagined she was a beautiful college student far away from prying
parental eyes and rules. She was relaxing on a campus bench after a long
class, and eagerly brought the cigarette up to her mouth, no longer dragging
this process out. Quickly she got her lighter out and the click seemed
unnaturally loud as she inhaled slightly to light her cigarette. After letting
out the small puff of smoke, she hungrily brought the cigarette to her lips.
With her eyes closed she inhaled deeply, deeper than she ever had before.
Tilting her head back, she exhaled a long stream of smoke slowly into the air.
She had never gotten such a thrill from smoking ever before, she realized, as
she opened her eyes to see big college men passing by checking her out.
Somehow she was able to look them in the eyes as they went by. She continued
to smoke as she moved her hand down and felt her wetness.

    Cathy knew that her smoking acquaintances not only smoked at school during
lunch, but right before school started and throughout the day. She had never
rushed outside between classes or rushed to school in the morning to smoke. It
never seemed to be worth the effort before, but when she woke up early the
next day she thought differently. She realized if she took the earlier bus,
she could have enough time at school to have a smoke before home room. So
instead of lying around in bed as long as possible, she jumped out and rushed
to the shower. Downstairs she brushed off her mother's questions about leaving
early and went out to the bus stop.

    When she arrived at school, she saw that Beth was already outside smoking.
She figured Julie didn't get there until later since she could smoke at home.
Cathy mused about that, thinking it would be great to be able to smoke right
after breakfast, or even right after you got up!

    Beth smiled slightly when Cathy refused her proffered pack of Marlboro's
and proudly brought out her own pack. Not only was she able to refuse Beth's
offer, but Beth could see by the seven cigarettes missing from Cathy's pack
that she wasn't just a lunch time smoker any more. They chatted amiably for a
while before Laura rushed up breathlessly a few minutes before home room. She
asked for a cigarette, and quickly lit it.

    "What happened to your cigarettes?" Cathy asked. She knew that Laura had a
pack and a half in her bag yesterday after lunch, which should have lasted her
until today.

    "My mom took them away from me", Laura replied resignedly, but still
enjoying her cigarette. The meaning of the words sunk in. Laura's non-smoking
mother caught her smoking. There was silence as they considered what happened,
but Beth realized that Laura was smiling.

    "So what's so funny?" she asked.

    "You should have seen what happened after she caught me."

    End of part 1

    Part 2 coming soon
Your e-mail reply to this message WILL be *automatically* ANONYMIZED.
Please, report inappropriate use to      
For information (incl. non-anon reply) write to
If you have any problems, address them to

Previous part | Next part

Index by date | Index by author | Index by subject
Get Recommendations
Smoking From All Sides ( Glamor - Pics | Female Celebrity Smoking List )
[ Printer friendly version ]
Contact webmaster

Processing took 0.01871 seconds