AnotheR Ending to Monica | |
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Enjoyed the first 2 parts of this saga, but haven't yet seen the finale posted. So I thought I'd offer my own interpretation of the story's end.... Monica's Story (Part 3(B)) As I sat down on the bench in the mall and pulled out a cigarette from my pack of VS 120s, Beth looked at me expectantly. I didn't offer her one on purpose, to see what her reaction would be. As I lit up, she took a seat next to me. I took a puff, inhaled, and held the smoke in for a few seconds before casually turning in Beth's direction and exhaling just past her face. As I did so, I looked into Beth's eyes and saw a look of anticipation on her face. Still, I said nothing, waiting for some reaction from her. I took another long puff and intentionally inhaled in an audible manner to see if this would provoke some reaction from Beth. After watching her smoke three times early this morning, I knew that the habit was starting to find a home with Beth just as it had for me years ago. But I wanted her to acknowledge the fact herself, and perhaps begin to accept smoking as something pleasurable that she would like to do of her own accord. As I again exhaled in her direction, Beth finally spoke. "Mom..." "Yes, dear?", I replied. "Are you going to offer me a cigarette?", she asked. "Well, no... I wasn't going to. Why?" "Ummm... I think I'd like to have one too, if you don't mind", she said, blushing slightly. "Would you? Well, I suppose you can if you really want one. But are you certain? What if some of your friends see you smoking in public?", I responded. Beth smiled shyly, and said, "That's OK... it might surprise them but I think that might be sort of fun. May I have one, please?" "All right, Beth. Here, help yourself", I said, handing her both my pack and lighter. She quickly extracted a fresh cigarette from the pack and flicked the lighter to life, and lit up like she had been doing it for years. As she handed the pack and lighter back to me she left the 120 in her lips, puffing out uninhaled smoke from either side of her mouth as she had seen me do, then began a hard pull as her cheeks caved in and the tip of the cigarette glowed bright. She then withdrew the cigarette from her lips and inhaled deeply. After a few seconds, she exhaled a stream of smoke from her mouth and nose, then took another, even longer, puff. After she exhaled, she said, "Oh... that feels nice. Thanks, mom". Beth and I continued to sit and smoke, and again talked of things that we had never discussed before. I finished my cigarette before she did, having had a head start, and waited until she began to crush out her cigarette after taking one final puff before again reaching for my pack and lighter. "I think I'm going to have another", I said, again waiting for some response as I looked at her. This time she didn't hesitate, extending her hand without saying a word, waiting for me to offer her one as well. I offered her the pack and she extracted yet another cigarette, and as I offered her a light I could see a thin stream of exhaled smoke coming from her nostrils as she drew on the fresh 120. Obviously, Beth had become very comfortable with both the idea and the mechanics of smoking, and perhaps was on her way to becoming a full-time smoker like myself. The thought brought me satisfaction since I knew how much I enjoyed my habit and wanted my daughter to appreciate the pleasures of smoking as well, and also since we had developed a much closer relationship in the relatively few days since Beth had decided to try smoking herself. And selfishly, I knew that if Beth could become favorably predisposed to smoking, I would hear no more criticism of my own habit from her. As I watched my daughter smoke, I was struck by how comfortable she looked doing it, and by how her way of holding the cigarette, puffing on it, inhaling and exhaling were somehow cultured, ladylike, and most attractive. She handled the cigarette exceedingly well for someone so new to the habit, and somehow I knew that aside from all of the criticism that she had thrown my way, she had also watched both me and other smokers closely and either consciously or subconsciously filed away the type of behavior she wanted to emulate if and when she ever smoked. She had learned her lessons well. Beth continued to puff deeply on the VS120, apparently truly beginning to enjoy her first experience with chain smoking, as we continued to chat. Finally, our cigarettes were finished, and I offered that perhaps it was time to continue our shopping. Exhaling smoke and crushing out the 120, Beth agreed and we again began to walk trough the mall. Finally after about another hour we had completed our errands and headed back to the car. As we settled into the front seats, I started the car and, as I nearly always did, reached into my pocketbook for my cigarettes. Usually this was a cue for Beth to make some sort of snide remark about my "automatic" smoking, but this time was different. Her words this time were just the opposite, in fact, saying "Mom, may I?", with a smile, gesturing at the pack. "Sure, honey, go ahead", I replied, smiling, as Beth pushed in the lighter and extracted yet another 120. When the lighter popped out, I told Beth not to touch the end of her cigarette to the element but to rather hold it just off the surface and draw on the cigarette. Placing the long, white cigarette between her lips and holding it between the fingers of her right hand, she slowly moved the lighter to the end of the 120 and drew on the cigarette, quickly establishing an even, complete light. Replacing the lighter in the dashboard, she continued to draw on the cigarette before leaning back into her seat and inhaling deeply. Driving through the parking lot, Beth cracked open her window and seemed to take delight in exhaling smoke though the opening. As we headed out of the lot for the drive home, I suggested that since it was almost lunchtime that perhaps we could go to a favorite restaurant not too far from home. Beth quickly agreed and so we set off for the 20-minute drive. After arriving at the restaurant and being seated in the smoking section, I again reached into my purse for my pack of VS 120s. Extracting one, along with my lighter, I placed the pack on the table and turned it in Beth's direction, pushing it between us. She needed no further prompting, reaching for her seventh cigarette of the day, as I flicked my lighter to life and lit up first Beth's cigarette, then my own. When the waitress arrived with menus and water, I noticed Beth again handling her cigarette like a veteran and seemingly revelling in her new identity as a smoker. We continued to talk while we reviewed the menus, before finally placing our orders. After a time, I lit up once again but this time Beth did not take my cue, choosing to abstain at least for the moment. I finished just as our orders arrived, and we both enjoyed our lunch as the restaurant began to fill quickly. I noticed Beth observing a number of other ladies seated nearby who were also smoking, and apparently taking note of what and how they were smoking. Our waitress was very attentive and brought us coffee as soon as we had finished our meals, as I reached for another cigarette. Beth did the same, managing to beat me to the lighter this time, and offered me a light first before lighting up her own. I did some quick calculations in my head and decided that perhaps it was time to ask Beth an important question. "Beth, I've noticed that you've been smoking quite often so far today. Are you starting to like it?" Beth blushed just slightly and hesitated, looking at the cigarette she held between her fingertips, considering the question. Finally, she replied, "I never thought I'd hear myself say this, mom, but, yes, I AM starting to enjoy smoking. I think I really do like it". Having heard her admit this, I now wanted my daughter to tell me what she wanted to do in the future. "Well, that's interesting... so what do we do next? I'm almost out of cigarettes so I'll need to stop in at the drugstore before we get home. If you are going to smoke, that's fine with me, but I can't always be giving them to you from my own pack." "Well, I was starting to think about that too", Beth replied. "Do you think you could get me a pack of my own? And a lighter?", she asked eagerly. "OK, fine. I'll buy them for you, at least for the time being. So I guess this means we can forget about our deal?", I offered. Beth laughed, looking relieved. "Oh, sure, mom. Please, just do me one favor. Don't remind me of that ever again, will you?", she said with a chuckle, before taking a long puff and audibly inhaling the smoke deep into her lungs. Exhaling after a few seconds with a sigh of satisfaction, she tapped the ash of the end of her cigarette as she blew smoke high into the air. "This is an interesting habit you've introduced me to, mom. What do you like best about it?", she asked. "Well, Beth, it's hard to say exactly. I really enjoy it, obviously, since I've smoked for so many years. I'm probably addicted to the nicotine, so that's part of it I guess. If you keep it up, you will be too, by the way, just so you know. But it's much more than that. There are so many things about it that I like... the taste, the sensation of inhaling and exhaling, just the act of holding it in my fingers... it's hard to say just one thing. What about you, though? What is it that made you decide to continue to smoke once you tried it?", I asked. Beth thought for a second, and then offered a reply. "I really, really, like to inhale now that I know how to do it the right way. I'd say that's the best thing for me right now. Just feeling the smoke go into my lungs when I inhale... I just love that feeling. It's so neat. And then, the way it looks when I exhale. And I've started to like the feeling I get when I smoke after I haven't had one for a while", Beth answered. "I hate to tell you this, Beth, but that's the first sign that you're getting addicted. Do you crave them yet?", I asked. "I don't know if it's a craving, really", Beth responded. "It's not like I'm dreaming about them or anything. I just like to smoke, that's all", she answered with a slight frown, taking an aggressive puff on the remains of her 120. "But I've started to look forward to the times I can smoke with you", she allowed. "OK honey," I responded, "I was just curious, that's all. Are you ready to go? Let's head out to the drugstore, then home." When we arrived at the drugstore, Beth selected a pink Bic from the rack, while I asked for a carton of VS 120s. Once we arrived home, I opened the carton and presented Beth with a pack. She immediately opened it and, using her new lighter, lit up. I carefully watched Beth for the rest of the day to see how her habit would develop now that it was up to her to control it. To my surprise, Beth smoked very little the rest of the day. However, the next morning she began her smoking day at breakfast and smoked at regular intervals, totalling 12 cigarettes by the end of the day. I noticed that her puffs were now about as long as my own, while her inhales were, if anything, a little deeper than mine, as she demonstrated how much she enjoyed that part of her habit. I took secret satisfaction in having taught Beth how to smoke and now took even more pleasure in watching her smoke, knowing that she was now beginning to experience the same deep levels of enjoyment and satisfaction from her new-found smoking habit as did I. Plus, I looked forward to continuing our more mature relationship that smoking had helped us to achieve. But in truth, I mostly welcomed Beth's decision to start smoking because I knew it meant that it would stop her harassment of me for my own smoking habit, since I knew that, if she continued at this pace for long, she would soon be unable to stop smoking. The next day Beth asked me for another pack of 120s, which I gladly provided. Soon she was requesting a pack every day or two, and I finally told her just to take them when she ran out. Many of Beth's friends had already started to smoke, and so they were not overly surprised when she revealed her secret to them. She did exercise some restraint in smoking in public, especially where some overt disapproval might come her way, but did not hesitate to smoke if I was with her as we did at the mall. Over the next few weeks, Beth gradually became more and more accustomed to smoking as her system began to tolerate higher and higher nicotine levels, and as she did, her daily cigarette consumption slowly began to rise. We continued to talk freely about just about everything, and I was happy to have the chance to talk to somebody about smoking, since it was not a subject I had ever been too comfortable discussing. Beth's natural curiosity about both her own developing habit and my well-established one led us into a number of conversations about why I started smoking, what different brands were like, and whether I worried about what it might eventually do to me (my answer: I didn't). Beth in turn revealed that her enjoyment of smoking and, especially, of inhaling, had continued to grow unchecked, although she now fully understood what a craving felt like, and that she expected to eventually get her own smoking up to my own daily level. Within a few more weeks, she had succeeded as she announced one evening that she had finished her first pack of the day and needed a second. Eventually, Beth's smoking stabilized at about 25 cigarettes a day, and she realized that she was now a fully committed smoker, having developed a need to smoke and a craving for nicotine just as strong as mom's. Beth felt some uneasiness over this realization and was uncomfortable with the concept of being addicted, but I reassured her that it was the same for millions of others and that it would only help add to her enjoyment of the habit. Beth soon accepted the idea that she had become a full-fledged smoker and incorporated it into her own self-image. She told me that she now loved to smoke, and hoped she would never have to give it up, because she didn't think that she could. I told her that I felt exactly the same way, and that seemed to make her feel better with her decision to give in to the habit. Her friend Sheila introduced Beth to her full-flavor Marlboro 100s soon after Beth began smoking regularly, and whether because of peer pressure or simply because she enjoyed them more, Beth began to ask me to pick her up the odd pack of Marlboro Gold. Eventually, she began smoking these more and more regularly, until one day she asked me if I would mind buying her a carton of these since they were what she liked best. I had noticed her enjoyment of the Marlboros and, since they were my old brand, I understood particularly how new smokers like Beth would tend to enjoy their strong, flavorful smoke. Beth soon had even me smoking the occasional Marlboro, as she re-introduced me to their own distinct pleasures! Beth and I now are more like best friends than daughter and mother. We talk about things like a pair of girlfriends, and there's nothing I enjoy more than sharing conversation with my daughter each morning over a series of cigarettes and coffees. I'm glad I taught my daughter how to smoke, and so is she. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi. If you reply to this message, your message WILL be *automatically* anonymized and you are allocated an anon id. Read the help file to prevent this. Please report any problems, inappropriate use etc. to admin@anon.penet.fi. |
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