Nancy Makes Her Choice, Part 2

From daemon@anon.penet.fi Sun Nov 12 21:23:53 1995
From: an284773@anon.penet.fi
Date: Mon, 13 Nov 1995 02:09:03 UTC
Subject: Story: Nancy Makes Her Choice (2 of 2)



**

The next morning Darlene heard Nancy trying to move around in her bedroom
and went in to help her get ready for the day. Nancy wasn't sure what was
throbbing worse, her head or her leg. Darlene retrieved a couple of the pain
pills that the hospital had given Nancy for her leg, and after a few minutes
they started to help both problems. She wheeled Nancy into the kitchen and
made breakfast for both of them. As soon as they finished eating, Darlene
refilled their coffee cups and retrieved her cigs from the living room along
with one of the ashtrays she had bought the day before. As she lit up, she
casually asked Nancy, "Would you like one, honey?", thinking that the
reaction of her friend would be the same as in her college days. Nancy
paused for a moment and finally shocked Darlene by replying, "Oh, what the
hell... why not? Let me have one."

"Why, I can't believe my eyes! Am I to believe that you're going to start
smoking?" asked Darlene with a surprised look on her face. 

"Well, I need something to occupy myself. And besides, I kind of liked it
last night when I tried it. This isn't so bad, is it?"

"Shit, honey, I don't even think about it anymore. I just smoke. That's one
of the reasons I like my job now, 'cause I can smoke in my car all day. But
since I've been smoking for a dozen years now it's part of me, but I can't
believe you like it... you've always been such a jock!"

"Well, maybe not any more, huh? Thanks to this," she said with a disgusted
look on her face, pointing at the cast on her leg. "Besides, once this thing
does heal, I'll just give it up. For now, I think I'll have one every now
and then," she said before taking a puff deep into her lungs.

Nancy had about five cigarettes that day, much to Darlene's amazement, and
found herself continuing to enjoy the new experience. The next morning she
repeated the behavior of the previous morning, and by the end of Wednesday
had smoked another 7 of Darlene's cigarettes. She noticed that she could now
comfortably take longer and longer puffs, much more like Darlene's style,
and she also noted that she was puffing on each cigarette more frequently
than before, judging from the color of  the filters when she was finished.
She found herself beginning to look forward to having a cigarette with
Darlene, who stopped her at one point while they were both smoking to give
her a few pointers on how to make it look less awkward and more feminine.
Darlene showed her how to exhale the smoke through her nostrils as well in
slow, sensuous streams, and Nancy soon found that she got a charge out of
doing this. Darlene still couldn't believe her friend's behavior and how
quickly she had taken to the habit but attributed it to the pills she was
taking and her general state of mind. Thursday morning when the two went
shopping, Nancy suggested that they might as well pick up a pack of
cigarettes and a lighter for her so she wouldn't have to bother Darlene so
much, and when they returned home she opened her first pack and lit up along
with her friend. That day she smoked 10 cigarettes and had to admit to
herself that she was starting to really like it. She understood Darlene's
devotion to the habit a little better now but still didn't really think
about the possible consequences of her new behavior, instead concentrating
on the physical sensations she now found herself enjoying each time she had
another cigarette. She had always been a physical person, of course, and
where previously she had enjoyed the sensations of intense exercise, the
feelings she felt in her chest every time she inhaled a puff of the
mentholated smoke were a different but interesting substitute. 

That night they received word from Nancy's mom that she would be arriving on
Saturday afternoon, and so Darlene informed Nancy that she would be leaving
at that point to return to her own life. They planned another dinner for
Friday night, more of a celebration of their renewed friendship than a
goodbye. After dinner, Darlene had to run an errand to pick up another
carton of B&H Menthols since they both had run out, and the two split the
cost and the contents of the carton. By now Darlene had stopped being
surprised at Nancy's attraction to the smoking habit and instead began to
wonder if she would still be a smoker the next time she saw her. She now
believed that she probably would, for Nancy's training had given her a
trememdous lung capacity and so she had begun to inhale an enormous volume
of smoke every time she took a puff, and would hold it in her chest for
longer and longer periods of time. Darlene knew from her own experience that
it wouldn't take too long at that pace before the pharmacological effects of
nicotine started to exert their power over her friend, and that if she
didn't give it up soon she would probably become an devoted (and addicted)
smoker like her. 

The next day Nancy's mom arrived in town and took over Darlene's duties as
she got ready to depart to return to home and her job. Needless to say,
Dorothy Henderson was unprepared to see her daughter smoke, having instead
been anticipating with dismay having to drastically cut down her own 30 a
day habit in consideration of her daughter, who had always looked down at
her mother's smoking with barely concealed disdain. Before Darlene left, the
three women had coffee together and while Dorothy knew that Darlene was a
smoker from having met her during her visits to Duke, she had noticed a
second open pack of B&H Menthols on the table shortly after arriving and had
wondered why they were there. Nancy had started to move around a little on
crutches by the end of the week, and so was able to join the two at the
kitchen table. As Darlene and Dorothy lit up, Nancy's eyes met Darlene's as
if to say "OK, this is the time. I'm going to do it.", and Darlene placed
the pack and lighter on the table and casually pushed them in Nancy's
direction. Wanting a cigarette at that moment meant more to Nancy than any
reaction her mother could possibly give, so she reached over and picked up
the cigarettes, saying to her mother, "Mom, don't be too shocked or
disappointed by this, but I'm going to smoke too, " as she placed a 100
between her lips and drew in the flame. As Darlene said later to Nancy, "Did
you see the look on your mom's face? Lord, I think you could have knocked
her over with a feather!" 

True enough, the look on Dorothy's face was one of shocked surprise as she
watched her daughter take a long puff and then, opening her mouth slightly,
allowed a little of the smoke to slip out before quickly drawing it back in
through her nose and mouth, deep down into her lungs. As she slowly exhaled,
Nancy said, "I hope you don't mind, mom. I just started this to help pass
the time." Dorothy regained her composure some, saying, "Well, honey, I can
hardly mind, can I... but I *am* amazed at you. You always used to criticize
me so much for my smoking, and here you are doing it yourself! Anyway,
you're 23 and even if I didn't want you to smoke, there's not much I could
do about it, is there? But to be honest, I always wished you'd start smoking".

Now it was the turn of the young women to be shocked, as Darlene and Nancy
said almost in unison, "What?!?", with unbelieving looks of surprise on
their faces. Dorothy explained, "Well, yes, I always sort of wished you
would smoke, dear. With your dad away all day, I always looked forward to
your company, but once you started all of your athletics, you stayed away
from me because of my smoking - or at least that's what you told me,
remember? I thought a few times that if I could get you to start, you'd soon
feel different about it, and about me, and feel free to spend a little more
time with me and so we could be closer. It was just something I thought you
might enjoy since, God knows, I certainly do, so I had pretty much decided
when you were 15 that I was going to encourage you to start smoking and I
was prepared to go ahead and teach you how. I think I actually almost asked
you once if you would like to have one, but I guess I knew deep down inside
what your reaction would be, and besides, you were so into training by then
that I was certain that you'd turn it down. So I never did ask. But this",
she said, pointing to the cigarette held between the tips of Nancy's
fingertips, "is a real surprise, but a nice one", as she began a long puff
on her own Benson & Hedges.

After Darlene made her goodbyes, Nancy and Dorothy got caught up on news and
made plans for the next week or so. Dorothy smoked at her usual pace and,
after a little bit of embarrased reluctance at first, Nancy soon began
lighting up regularly along with her mom. By the time they both went to bed
that evening, Nancy had smoked 15 times that day, and the next morning she
picked up right where she left off despite feeling a few side effects of the
previous days' record intake right after she woke up. But her mom was
smoking as Nancy made her way into the kitchen for breakfast and the smell
caused her to feel what she later recognized was her real first craving, so
she lit up almost immediately and felt a wave of satisfaction wash over her
shortly after her first deep inhale of the day. Dorothy was almost always
smoking herself, it seemed, and so Nancy always had the sight of her
mother's habit right there in front of her to remind her of her own
new-found pleasure, and she needed little encouragement to allow herself to
give in to the temptation. By the end of the week, Nancy was smoking nearly
a pack a day herself, and was beginning to become concerned about her
growing desire to smoke. She now had a slight cough when she awoke in the
morning, which disturbed her, but it seemed that something inside of her
kept whispering into her ear - or actually, directly into her mind - "go
ahead, Nancy, have another cigarette... you know you want one... enjoy
yourself", and more often than not, she was more than happy to comply. She
had discovered that she loved the sensations of smoking, and was finding it
harder and harder to resist the insistent urge to smoke that she now
experienced almost automatically each time she saw Dorothy light up. Before
long, she no longer even tried to resist.

By the end of the week, Nancy was moving quite well on her crutches and had
been fitted with a walking cast that let her get around using a cane, and so
Dorothy and her agreed that there was no need for her to remain much longer.
Dorothy made plans to return home, but before she did the two of them
decided that it would be wise for them to stock up Nancy's apartment with a
good supply of most everything she would be likely to need for the next
while. At the supermarket they rang up a bill of a couple of hundred
dollars, and the checkout girl barely noticed the four cartons of B&H
Menthol 100s that made their way down the belt. Two of them were for Dorothy
- she was always on the hunt for a bargain, and the low North Carolina
cigarette prices were too tempting for her to resist - but the other two
were for her daughter and her newly-developed habit. "I always knew I liked
it here", said Dorothy to Nancy with a wink as she watched the register ring
up the prices that were almost half of what she paid at home.

After Dorothy left for Massachusetts, Nancy decided that she now felt well
enough to try and get out on her own a little. After three weeks of
virtually no physical activity she was surprised at how far her body had
declined, feeling somewhat winded at even mild exercise. The thought crossed
her mind that it wasn't just the inactivity that was causing this, but the
cigarettes too. Strangely, this caused her some anxiety that she hadn't
expected, not at the thought that her smoking was causing her to lose
conditioning, but that as a result of needing to be in top condition for her
job she might have to give them up. Returning home, she collapsed on the
sofa and immediately lit up, enjoying the sensation of filling her lungs
with a long puff of  the cool mentholated smoke she now had come to truly
enjoy. 

Nancy sat and thought. She thought about her friend Darlene and her life,
which for all of it's frenetic pace was pretty good, it seemed to her,
especially by comparison with her own. She thought about her mom, and how
much enjoyment she had always seemed to get from her cigarettes, and how
much Nancy had enjoyed being with her this past week. And finally, she
thought about how she felt about smoking now herself, and how much she had
come to enjoy it. She came to the realization that the anxious thoughts she
had earlier in the day weren't related to her having gotten out of shape, or
about what her exercise routine might be in the future... no, she was
anxious about having to give up smoking if she wanted to get back into
shape, at least to the point she had been before the accident. And, she
realized with a bit of a shock, the reason that it made her anxious was that
she now really didn't want to stop. In fact, she decided then and there, if
she had to make a choice, she knew what it would be. She was going to keep
on smoking.

After another week, Nancy called her boss at work and arranged a meeting to
talk about her future. By now she was able to move quite well on her cast
and scarcely needed her cane to be mobile. The morning of the meeting she
dressed casually in a long, loose sweatshirt, jeans, and a plaid baseball
cap, with her hair, which she had allowed to grow a bit, pulled back in a
small ponytail and arranged out the back of the cap. She grabbed her
Ray-Bans and, heading out the door, paused for a moment. She reversed her
steps and picked up her pack of cigarettes and lighter, realizing
unconsciously if nothing else that she would be out for a while and would
need a cig or three during that time. Thrusting them into her purse, she
walked with a slight limp to her car.

Traffic was heavy and the meeting was all the way across town. She got
caught up in a bumper to bumper jam-up that was caused by some construction,
and it looked as though she would be there for a while. As she sat in
traffic, she suddenly realized she was beginning to feel what was becoming a
familiar feeling build inside her. She knew what it was, and she knew how to
deal with it. Reaching into her purse, she extracted a B&H from the open
pack and started to reach for her Bic. Then she realized she had never
smoked in her car before, and that she had never used the car's lighter. "No
time like the present", she thought, and pushed the button. After a few
seconds it popped out and Nancy brought the glowing element close to the end
of the cigarette she had placed between her lips. Drawing on it, she felt
the familiar cool sensation in her mouth and continued to drag deeply on the
cigarette, placing the lighter back in its socket before retrieving the cig
from her lips and breathing in. 

Nancy turned on the radio and found a station playing some hard rock.
Keeping time with the music by tapping on the steering wheel with her free
hand, with the other hand holding the long white cigarette resting on top of
the wheel, she sat back in the seat and looked around. She was in the curb
lane and was stopped next to a building with a reflective glass front, and
was able to see a perfect reflection of herself in the windows. She barely
recognized herself. Her first thought was  "Is that me? It can't be... I
look so different", and a smile began to spread across her face. The
ponytail, the cap, the sunglasses, and the cigarette made her look like one
very cool chick indeed, she thought. She liked what she saw, and still
looking at herself, brought the cig to her lips and took a long puff,
inhaled, and then blew out a long stream. She had never seen herself smoke
before and the sight of it was incredibly pleasing to her. Darlene had
taught her style lessons well. "That's it", she thought, as she began to
laugh despite herself, "Nancy, the babe". It was so out of character for her
she felt a tingle make its way up her back, and her cheeks blushed red as
she opened the car's ashtray and tapped the end of the cigarette into it.
She began to laugh out loud, to the point where a couple of other drivers
began to notice, but she didn't care. She liked her new self.

After a time traffic finally began to move. About 20 minutes had passed
since Nancy had finished her previous cigarette and like clockwork, she
began to experience yet another craving. As she approached the Interstate,
she decided she had better light up again before getting on the highway, not
yet fully confident of her smoking skills. As she stopped at the last set of
traffic lights prior to the on-ramp she pulled another menthol out of her
pack and lit up again. The light had turned green as she was in the act, and
as she was replacing the lighter with one hand and holding on to the wheel
with the other while pulling hard on the cigarette, the driver behind her
honked his horn impatiently. Startled, Nancy involuntarily inhaled in
surprise while the cigarette remained in her lips, and experienced a new
sensation as the puff was drawn into her lungs unexpectedly along with a
sizeable amount of sidestream smoke via her nose. Placing the car in gear,
she moved forward as smoke began to exit her nostrils. Quickly reaching to
extract the cigarette from between her lips, she suddenly realized that she
could now take another puff while exhaling the first, as she had seen
Darlene do from time to time, and with a small feeling of guilty pleasure,
started another long drag and inhaled again. The taste and feeling was
intense, and Nancy loved it.

When she arrived at the office, Nancy was grateful that she hasd the
foresight to bring a package of Clorets with her and quickly popped a couple
into her mouth. Brushing ash from her clothes as she got out of her car, she
hoped her co-workers wouldn't notice the signs that she had become a smoker.
As they greeted her, she was conscious of the fact that she was the only
smoker in the place. After some small talk, Nancy and her boss retreated
into his office for their meeting. He asked some questions about her
physical condition and the prognosis, which Nancy answered somewhat
discouragingly. Finally he responded, "Well, that's sort of what we've been
thinking too. We've had to go ahead and make plans assuming that you
wouldn't be here, and so if it's OK with you, I'd like you to take a
transfer downtown. We've got a spot for you in Arts and Rec administration.
Now I know it's not hands-on, but the pay is actually a little better and
you've certainly earned it. I have no doubts you'll do well. What do you say?"

Nancy thought for little more than a split-second. This was the track to
management, and that was what she had been hoping for all along. The head
office downtown was a lot closer to her apartment, so the commute would be
no problem at all. She wouldn't have to keep in condition the way she had,
since the admin job was basically desk work. And, she thought with a strange
realization that this was now important to her, she could smoke there.
"Sure, Hal, I understand", she said. "I'll take it. When do you want me to
start?".

In a couple of weeks, it turned out, and on the appointed day Nancy reported
to her new boss. As she was shown around the office and introduced to her
new co-workers, Nancy's eyes were on the lookout for whether the office
permitted smoking. She was satisfied to note that ashtrays were on several
of the secretary's desks, and that many of her new colleagues were smokers.
As she settled into her work space, she asked her secretary if she could
find her an ashtray somewhere, and soon Nancy was able to light up at her
desk for the first time. She soon established herself as a valuable addition
to the management team, and even though several of them made impassioned
pleas against the move a few years later, when the office eventually went
nonsmoking - a silly move, Nancy felt - she and a few other heavy smokers
like her were able to extract a promise of a smoking room for themselves
from the administration, so the transition wasn't that difficult.

Nancy's career zoomed ahead, thanks in part to her continued determination
and hard work, just like when she was a schoolgirl. She still saw Darlene on
a regular basis, who by now had found herself a husband, a up-and-coming
country singer who, Nancy thought, suited Darlene's personality perfectly.
When the two women got together now, they still went through a couple of
bottles of wine and now, a couple of packs of cigarettes as they enjoyed
each other's company in the way that only lifelong friends could. And,
"Nancy the babe" didn't do too badly herself, having had more guys chasing
her once she made her presence known downtown than she knew what to do with.
She seemed to be doing now what Darlene had done a few years earlier, with a
social schedule that was almost too much for her to manage. As she
considered her situation one night with Darlene, she thought about how
things had changed so much. "You know, Dar,", she said, only half-seriously,
as she sensuosly exhaled a long stream of cigarette smoke, "I ought to look
up that cab driver who tried to kill me a few years ago and send him some
flowers or something.... it was the best thing that ever happened to me!"


** 

End


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