One of the Girls | |
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ONE OF THE GIRLS This is my story, like all others on this site it's about how I started smoking. The only difference is this is my real story and not some fantasy. I realize that there is an element out there that like to read about this stuff. I can not judge I am part of the element that loves to smoke. So this is my story and I hope that you enjoy reading it. My name is Jennifer but everyone has always called me Jenny. My father left us when I was about 3 and I never had any brothers and sisters. I was 9 years old when I first started smoking. It was me and mom and we lived in the suburbs of Toronto in a nice house. Mom got a huge settlement from drunk driving incident and hadn't worked in years. She just stayed at home and was a little golf socialite down at the course by our house. I was out of school for the summer and was spending allot of time around the house. I never had any real friends during the summer, and the ones I did where usually hauled away to summer camps or long family vacations. I would just play with my Barbie's, and follow mom on her endless shopping trips and days on the course. It was a particularly rainy week and we spent most of our time at home. Mom watching soaps and chit chatting on the phone, me playing in my room or trying to watch TV with her and understand what was going on. Mom smoked, mom smoked allot. She smoked Matinee 100mm but at the time all I new was that they were all white and allot longer than my mom's friends. All my moms' friends smoked and when your parade along with a bunch of old ladies with no friends you take notice to everything. I never talked about it with her, she thought that kids should not be smoking. I would always here of a cousin of mine who had got caught. My mom would say something along the lines of "that kid is uncontrollable, smoking at that age". She had no right to say anything, I later found out she started when she was 12 back in Ireland. She had turned from poor girl in a large family to an uptight middle class socialite; she always compared her self as a mother to all the neighbours. I started getting really interested in smoking during a luncheonette my mom had with her friends that she dragged me along for instead of hiring a baby sitter. They were all smoking and talking about everything. Magazines, boys that worked at the golf course and other friends of my moms. They were all smiles and looked like they enjoyed it very much. Even when we were eating my mom had a cigarette burning away. The smell had never bothered me much, even though the woman made no attempt to blow the smoke opposite my direction. It looked so fun and cool. They would hold their cigarettes like it belonged in their hand and blow the smoke out so naturally. I had to try it, but I knew my moms stand on the whole thing. She sat at her favourite chair; it was her favourite because of the perfect location of the table next to it where she could put her ashtray. I never say her with out a cigarette for long, sitting smoking. I sat on the coach staring at her smoking as she watched the TV. I would ask her question so I would have an excuse to look at her as she smoked. I could see she was getting annoyed with my badgering so I went into the kitchen to work on some crafty things. A painting I think. The table was set perfect so I could see her from a side view and the TV was faced just right so she wouldn't catch onto the fact that I was absolutely enthralled with her smoking. I watched and studied, she would bring the long cigarette up to her mouth and it would go red at the end then she would let it go and blow out a stream of smoke that would soon collect with the smoke from the burning cigarette. I went almost crazy trying to think of a way I could ask her just right so she would let me try it. I don't remember what I came up with but Imp sure it was pretty silly. I would have to find another way. I didn't know it but that night would start something that has changed my life. I don't know when I went to bed but exact times are not really important. Mom usually stayed up about an hour after watching TV. I could here it downstairs and I was usually awake anyway listening in or playing quietly in my room. I couldn't sleep the image of smoking and how I could accomplish my goal kept me up in one of those crazy nights of tossing and turning. It was really early in the morning and when I couldn't sleep like this before I would just go downstairs and watch TV until I passed out. Mom didn't mind as long as I kept it down. It was still dark out when I went downstairs. I plopped down on the coach and stated watching some old movie that was in black and white. I got up to get a drink of water and I noticed it. Moms cigarettes sitting on the counter next to her favourite glass ashtray. I knew what I was going to do before I even thought about it. The pack sitting there with my moms pink lighter on top taunting me. I must have stood there for about 15 minutes just sitting there staring at the sight, thinking it over and wondering if I would get caught. I finally lifted the box open to see how many in where there and weather she would notice. The pack was filled just right that I thought I would get away with it. I grabbed the pack with the lighter on top and made carefully notice of exactly where it was so I could put it back. I made a second trip for the heavy glass ashtray. I set it with both hands on the table by my mom's favourite chair. I sat down in her usual spot and turned down the TV even quieter. I sat there again staring at the pack and the ashtray thinking it over. I finally opened the pack and slowly and very quietly pulled one of her long cigarettes out. Ever sound I thought would seal my fait. I held it in my mouth for a minute then finally reached for the lighter. I waited for the furnace to kick in and just as it did I started it up. I stared at the flame for a brief second then brought it to the cigarette in my mouth. I let it go and quickly pulled the cigarette out of my mouth to inspect the results. It didn't start, I paused for a minute then it came to me. I say once on a movie a guy start a cigar; he puffed to get it lit. I fumbled with the lighter again and brought the flame to the cigarette without hesitation. I puffed away and on the 3 puff noticed the room get a little brighter and smoke come from my mouth when I blew out. I put the lighter down and inspected the cigarette. It worked. I quickly put it back and watched as the smoke rised from the end. I was ecstatic. I sucked on it a couple of times and let the smoke leave my mouth slowly. I was lost stunned. I was smoking, just like my mom and her friends. I was smoking. I tried a couple of times to blow the smoke like my mom does but it didn't work to well, there wasn't much coming out of my mouth and when I blew it wasn't going far. I thought I had found a solution. I started sucking and I sucked as much as possible, it was by accident that I inhaled. I blew it out and started to cough, I covered my mouth quickly. It tickled my throat and I have to admit the taste was awful. I don't know why but I did it again. My tongue was starting to feel weird so I took one last puff and put my first cigarette out. I quickly went into fear moad. I took the ashtray back followed by my mom's pack and her lighter. I placed everything exactly how it was before. I ran back into the TV room and started to wave the smoke around uncase my mom did come down stairs. I grabbed the but out of the ashtray and threw it in the toilet. I sat there on the toilet seat hiding and thinking about what I had just done, how wonderful it was. I knew I had to get rid of the but (I cant believe I used to think my mom would notice), and I could smell the smoke on me and taste my own bad breath. What if mom came down right now I would be dead. I flushed the toilet while I franticly brushed my teeth, I knew she would hear it. Then jumped in the shower. I sprayed my nighty with hairspray and threw it at the bottom of my hamper. I went back to bed and tried to sleep hoping my mom didn't here. In the morning I was hesitant to come downstairs because I knew my mom was up and I feared she had bust me. I crept slowly down the stairs. She was sitting at the table and was smoking as she read the paper, I couldn't believe that I had done the same just hours ago I smiled a little. My mom asked me why I took a shower, which of course I denied. " I heard you honey, did you have an accident last night". I replied no but she made me wash my sheets anyway. I didn't care I had gotten away with murder. She didn't have a clue. It was hard to watch her all day smoking. My adventure that night had done little to squall my lust to try again. I followed her around like glue dreaming that it was I smoking. This was only the beginning |
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