Quest For Zach, Part 3

(by Gray Haze, 28 December 2007)

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Quest for Zach
By Gray Haze

Part 3

The next day Paula came over to my house.  She brought her cigarettes as
well.  Both my parent's and older brother worked, so we had the house to
ourselves.  It didn't take long for us to both light up soon after she
arrived.  I could tell that Paula was excited about smoking again, and to be
honest with you, so was I.  We both succeeded in smoking the entire
cigarette.  But this time neither one of us felt dizzy afterwards.  It is
amazing how quickly I got used to the taste.  In fact, I was beginning to
like it - a far cry from how awful it tasted when I first started.  

We smoked three more cigarettes that day.  Each one seemed to get better and
better.  I could tell that Paula was really enjoying the experience of
smoking.  As for me, I was too.  I didn't quite know where this was heading,
but I decided to continue smoking with Paula.  I wanted to support her in her
quest to become a smoker.  

For the next two weeks, we got together to smoke pretty much every day.  We
slowly increased the amount that we smoked to five or six cigarettes a day.
During this time, I observed my mother's smoking.  I really liked the way she
looked when she smoked.  There was a certain amount of sophistication and
sexiness to how she did it.  Her long drags and deep inhales seem to produce
an endless stream of smoke with every exhale.  You could really tell how much
she enjoyed it.  I wanted to emulate her style as well.  So I continued to
try to increase the size of my drags.  At first I did it to try to gain the
same look as she did.  But that desire for improved appearance was soon
replaced by something else.  I quickly noticed that the more smoke from each
puff that I inhaled deep into my lungs, the more incredible it felt.  So by
the end of the second week of smoking, large drags and deep inhales became
almost second nature to me.  It was this style that maximized my smoking

Our smoking was also starting to become a problem with supply.  We knew that
we couldn't continue to take a pack from her mom ever other day or so.  So
Paula got up the nerve to buy her own at the local convenience store.  Paula
was more developed and looked older than I did.  So it only made sense for
her to do the buying.  Much to our surprise, they sold her three packs of
Marlboro Light 100's without asking for ID or anything.

During the first week of July, Paula left with her family for a vacation to
the beach.  I didn't think much of her being away at first.  But that first
Monday she was gone, I started to miss sharing our cigarettes together.
Sitting there all by myself watching TV, I started thinking about smoking.  I
just couldn't get my mind off of it.  Finally, after lunch that day, I
decided to take a pack from my mom.  I had never smoked her brand of
cigarettes before.  Both Paula and I liked her mother's Marlboro Lights, and
I was a little reluctant to try something else.  But I really wanted one.  So
seeing that Paula had the cigarettes, I was forced to take one from either
mom or dad.

Every week mom bought two cartons of Benson & Hedges 100's.  I found it hard
to believe that anyone could smoke or for that matter want to smoke so much
every week.  But mom did.  She kept her cigarettes in the pantry next to the
kitchen.  I opened the pantry door and immediately saw two cartons sitting on
the shelf.  One was un-opened, but the other one had six packs in it.  I took
one out figuring that mom would never miss it.

I then grabbed a lighter and an ashtray and headed for my room.  Once there,
I tore off the wrapper and quickly extracted a cigarette.  I couldn't wait to
once again breathe in the smoke from a cigarette.  I placed the cigarette in
my mouth and lit up.  I took a long first drag and followed that with my now
accustomed deep inhale.  The smoke hit my lungs like a sledge hammer.  It was
much more potent then what I was used to smoking.  My exhale seemed to flow
out forever.  In fact, it took several exhales to completely drain my lungs.
I picked up the pack and looked at it.  These weren't light's like I was used
to smoking.  These were full flavor cigarettes.  

I took a second puff and savored the smoke in my lungs.  God these were good.
I loved that extra kick in the lungs that these gave me.  And the taste was
smooth and delicious.  No wonder mom smoked these.  I then walked over to the
mirror and watched myself take my third puff.  I looked so sexy as the dense
smoke poured out of my mouth.  If only Zach could see me now.  

I finished that cigarette and then I did something that I have never done
before.  Five minutes after extinguishing that first cigarette of the day, I
decided to have another.  I'm not sure why, but I couldn't resist the urge to
feel that wonderful smoke in my body again.  The second cigarette was even
better than the first.  I could feel the extra boost of nicotine in my body.
I couldn't believe how incredibly relaxed I felt while smoking that second
cigarette.  It was a feeling like I have never had before.   

I smoked three more cigarettes that day.  I loved each one.  In fact, I was
disappointed when mom came home at four from work.  That meant the end of
smoking for the day.  That evening I thought a lot about smoking.  It no
longer seemed disgusting to me.  I was now understanding the pleasure that
mom derived from smoking. I was also starting to get concerned about maybe
liking to smoke too much.  I really didn't want to spend the rest of my life
smoking like my mother.  Her morning cough was enough to convince me that
smoking was really bad.  But that concern wore off quickly as I started to
anticipate being able to smoke the next day.

I awoke that next day at eight, to an empty house once again.  I immediately
hopped out of bed, opened my purse and grabbed my cigarettes.  I then headed
down to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee.  I sat down at the
table, pulled out a cigarette and lit up.  God, did the first few puffs taste
great.  I don't think I have ever enjoyed smoking more.  The coffee was also
a wonderful compliment to the cigarette.  What a morning boost.  Now I know
why mom always said that she loved her morning cigarettes with her coffee.  I
finished that cigarette in what seemed like record time.  Each puff was
better then the previous.  Finally after about 12 puffs, it was gone.  

After I put it out I continued to sip my coffee while I enjoyed the relaxing
feeling that my cigarette gave me.  That cigarette was so good, I could
hardly wait for my next one.  Then I remember the two consecutive cigarettes
I smoked the day before.  "Oh, why not," I said to myself as I extracted
another cigarette.  I lit up and dragged as hard on the filter as I have ever
done before.  I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.  I luxuriated in the
wonderful feeling of the smoke soaking into my lungs.  After at least seven
seconds I started to exhale.  Except this time I let the smoke slowly trickle
from my nose.  It felt and tasted wonderful.  

I smoked another seven cigarettes that day.  I extinguished my last one at
3:50 pm, just before mom got home.  I smoked the last one on the deck, so
that mom wouldn't smell the lingering smoke in the house.  She arrived home
shortly afterward, and entered the house with a cigarette dangling from her
lips.  Fortunately she suspected nothing.

After dinner I headed up to my room fully expecting not to smoke again for
the remainder of the evening.  At seven though, I started thinking about how
wonderful a cigarette would taste.  Then I came up with an idea.  Maybe I
will take a bike ride to my favorite isolated spot in the woods near my house
and smoke a cigarette.  So I reached into my purse and pulled out one.  Then
I decided since I was going out anyway, I might as well take two.

"I'm going for a bike ride," I said to mom as I left the house.  My favorite
spot is only about a five minute ride from my house.  I often go there when I
want to be alone.  Today, I couldn't wait to be alone but this time I would
be with my new best friend.  Of course I mean my B&H 100's.  

Once there, I immediately lit up.  I was so glad that I came here as I felt
the wonderful feeling of my first exhale.  The quiet solitude of my favorite
place was even more special with my cigarette.  It wasn't long before that
cigarette was gone.  Boy they sure seemed to go fast when it has been awhile
since my last one.  Fifteen minutes later I lit the second.  

A sense of disappointment washed over me as I extinguished that second
cigarette.  I really enjoyed the peacefulness that my favorite spot gave me.
Certainly it would be greatly improved if I had more cigarettes to smoke.  Oh
well, there wasn't much I could do about it.  I stayed for another half hour,
and then I headed home.  

At 10:30 both of my parents went to bed.  A thought suddenly occurred to me
as I started hearing my dad snore.  Why not have one more before I hit the
sack?  My brother Mike was at his girlfriend's house and both parents were
sleeping.  I figured the chance of getting caught was next to nil, so I
grabbed my increasingly depleted pack and headed for my bedroom window.  I
extracted one and looked inside the pack.  I had taken that from mom only
yesterday and it was now almost gone.  "Oh well", I thought, "I'll get
another pack tomorrow."  Once done I went to bed.  

The next three days I continued smoking at a pace of a little over half a
pack a day.  It just seemed so easy and enjoyable to light up as often as I
could.  On Saturday though, my chances to smoke were severely diminished.
Sure I was able to sneak one here or there, but I sure would have liked to
smoke more.  

Paula was back from vacation on Sunday.  She called me that morning.  She
hadn't had a cigarette all week and really wanted to get back to practicing.
Little did she know how much practicing I had been doing.  We met at my
favorite secluded spot in the woods.  She immediately pulled out a Marlboro
Light and then offered one to me.  

"No thanks Paula," I said, "I have my own."  I then pulled out my B&H 100's
and extracted a cigarette from the pack.  I lit up as Paula exhaled her first
puff in over a week.

"Hey Terry, where did you get those?" Paula asked.  

"I bought a couple packs of these on Friday," I answered her.  

"Oh, I see you bought a different brand."

"Yeah, these are the same brand that mom smokes.  I liked them so much, I
decided to get these instead of the Marlboro's Lights."

"You mean you have been smoking while I was gone?" Paula asked with a
surprised look.

"Yeah, I guess I have," I responded with a sly grin.  

Paula then took another puff and exhaled toward the sky.  "Wow Terry, smoking
by yourself," Paula said laughing while traces of smoke trickled out of her
nose.  "Looks like you are becoming quite the smoker."

I was taken aback by that comment.  I never considered myself a smoker and I
certainly didn't want to become one.  And yet, I seemed to smoke every chance
I had.  I knew that on Friday I smoked ten cigarettes before mom got home
from work, four at this same spot after dinner and three more before bed.
That was a total of seventeen in one day.  It also seemed that when I
couldn't smoke, I wanted to.  When and where I could smoke seemed to occupy
my every thought.  But hearing the word "smoker" from Paula scared me.  It
was the fact that is was obviously quickly becoming true that made me worry.

But that worry quickly dissipated fifteen minutes after putting that first
cigarette out.   I had only one cigarette so far that morning and I really
wanted another one.  So I pulled out my pack of B&H's, extracted two and then
offered one to Paula.  "Here Paula, you should try one of these.  They are
wonderful."  Somewhat surprised that I was lighting up so soon after the last
one, Paula accepted with a puzzled look on her face.  

I lit mine, then offered a light to Paula.  She put the cigarette between her
lips and extended her head toward my outreached hand wth the light.  I then
witnessed her eyes light up as she inhaled the smoke of a full flavor
cigarette for the first time. "So what do you think?" I asked as she exhaled
a cloud much denser than a light cigarette could produce.

"I don't know Terry.  They certainly are a lot stronger," she answered as she
lifted the cigarette to her lips to take another puff.  "Let me evaluate this
a little further." We both finished our cigarettes in our customary five
minutes.  "I think I like my Marlboro Light's better," Paula concluded as she
put out her cigarette.

Paula and I continued to hang out at my little private spot in the woods.  We
had a week's worth of gossip that happened while she was gone.  Finally after
another hour and three more cigarettes passed the subject of smoking came up

"I guess I have some catching up to do with you as far as smoking goes,"
Paula said as she watched me light my fifth cigarette.

"Oh, what makes you say that?" I said after exhaling that first puff.

"You're smoking like a chimney this morning, and I'm having a lot of trouble
keeping up."

"Yeah, something about this spot makes smoking so enjoyable.  Plus, I tend to
smoke more in the morning."

"It's kind of funny.  Only three weeks ago I had to practically force you to
smoke.  And now look at you.  It's obvious that you really like it."  Paula
then paused to light up her forth cigarette.  "I guess you don't find
cigarettes so disgusting anymore."

"No I guess I don't find it disgusting anymore," I said as I lifted the
cigarette up to my lips to take another drag.  I then proceeded to take a
hard five second puff off of my cigarette.  The smoke felt so good inside my
lungs as I slowly breathed in, expanding my chest as far as I could.  "You're
right though, I really do like to smoke now.  These things have really grown
on me."

"I like it too," Paula said.  "I don't know about you, but I plan to continue
to smoke.  I can hardly wait to see Joey's face as I light up in front of him
for the first time."

I had forgotten the original reason we started smoking in the first place.  I
had been so focused on the actual smoking part, that being more attractive
for Zach and Joey had completely left my mind.  "You mean you really want to
become a full time smoker like your mom?"  

"I don't know about that," Paula said with a laugh.  "But I do plan on
enjoying an occasional cigarette.  I like to smoke and I see no reason why I
can't do that."

"An occasional cigarette," I thought to myself after hearing Paula.  If only
it was that easy.  For me, I couldn't seem to get enough of these wonderful
things.  An occasional cigarette was quickly turning into a cigarette every
chance I had.  Although I still wondered why my mom smoked so many cigarettes
every day, I was quickly learning how great smoking was.  

After another two cigarettes we left to go to my house.  For the remainder of
the day we didn't have any opportunities to smoke.  That didn't seem to
bother Paula, but there were sure times that I wanted to.  Paula left just
before Sunday dinner.  After dinner, I grabbed my pack, hopped on my bike and
headed for my favorite spot.  Smoking for the first time in seven hours gave
me a feeling like I usually only experience first thing in the morning.  

I continued to smoke every chance I had for the rest of that week.
Throughout the week I couldn't stop thinking about how Paula called me quite
the smoker.  At first I was concerned about becoming a real smoker.  I always
considered smoking something that bad kids and the loser did.  But as the
day's passed, and my love for cigarettes continued to grow, that concern
became less and less.  I started thinking about mom and how much she loved to
smoke.  She certainly wasn't a loser.  Neither was dad for that matter.  Both
of them smoked all day long every day of the week.  And both of them have
been smokers for over twenty years.  How would I like to be able to smoke all
day long, any time I wanted?  Fortunately for me, I was going to have a
chance soon to find out. 

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