How Could She Say No?, Part 5

    5. Hooked - For Good.

    Patti woke on Saturday morning and rolled out of bed. She'd slept late. It
was after 8:00 a.m. She wandered downstairs still half asleep. Coffee, she
thought to herself. I need coffee. She began brewing a pot. Then she saw the
pack of cigarettes on the kitchen table along with the lighter and ashtray
Trish had given her the night before.

    "God, what was I thinking last night?" she asked herself. Pushing her
blond hair out of her face, she sat down at the kitchen table and stared at
the items in front of her. "I'm throwing these away," Patti decided. She
picked up the pack and started walking toward the kitchen wastebasket. But
then she remembered Ralph Wisdom's voice on the phone. 

    "You're fired," he had said yesterday. "The D.A.R.E. program will go on
without you," he'd told her. The voice inside her head was as real as if Ralph
were standing there.

    "Fuck you," Patti said aloud. "Fuck you, Ralph." No, she wouldn't throw
away these cigarettes, she decided. She'd return them to Trish. No sense
throwing away a perfectly good pack of cigarettes. Trish would smoke them.
Patti smiled. "Happily," she said aloud.

    After her first few sips of coffee, Patti felt life returning to her body.
And to her mind. Her eyes turned again to the pack of Marlboros on the table.
"Do I dare?" she asked herself aloud. "What if Trish is right? What if I get
hooked? What would Mark say?"

    The thought of Mark caused a wave of illicit excitement to run down
Patti's spine. "Mark will appreciate this," she told herself. "And Mark will
support me. He wouldn't mind me trying it again. Just one more time."

    Patti picked up the unopened box of Marlboro Light 100's. The wrapper
seemed so clean, so tight. She tried pulling the cellophane string. The top of
the wrapper easily came loose. Fascinated, Patti opened the lid of the box.
Carefully tearing out the inner silver wrapping, her eyes saw twenty
cigarettes staring at her. All waiting for someone to smoke them.

    "Yeah, maybe just one," she urged herself. "Just to prove I can do it,"
she added. Much to Patti's surprise and amusement, she was filled with
anticipation.

    Patti pulled a cigarette out of the box and placed it between her lips.
Again she pushed her blond hair out of her face. It was still unkempt from a
long night's sleep. Patti picked up the lighter. She paused, and then without
further hesitation she pushed the child-proof button and turned the wheel. The
flame erupted. "Here goes," she said aloud, laughing to see the cigarette
bouncing up and down between her lips as she spoke.

    The flame hit the tip of the cigarette. The smoke filled Patti's mouth and
the sensation overwhelmed her. Instinctively she took a little puff and
immediately exhaled the smoke as she set the lighter on the table. "Not bad,"
Patti announced to herself, still watching the lit cigarette in her mouth
bounce in her moving lips. She took another, longer drag, and this time
inhaled the smoke in the same way she'd learned the night before. It tasted
... good!

    Patti's chest tingled when her lungs received the smoke. "Oh, I like
this," she said, pleased with herself, the cigarette still in her mouth. She
laughed as she watched the cigarette bounce between her lips again. "It's
because I'm a smoker," she added as the smoke from her first real puff of the
day escaped around the corners of the dancing cylinder hanging from her
mouth.

    Patti took another puff. To her surprise, this one tasted even better. She
inhaled again, this time removing the cigarette from her lips. After waiting
several seconds she began an exhale. Patti watched the smoke escape in a
steady, blue stream. It was fascinating. Looking at the cigarette between her
fingers, she slowly raised it back to her lips. "I think I'd like another
puff, please," she said aloud. Closing her lips around the filter, Patti took
a third, even longer and harder drag. She watched the end of cigarette glow
bright red while she puffed, noticing how smoke stopped escaping from the
burning tip while her suction pulled it inside her instead. As she finished
her drag, Patti noticed the smoke once again begin to spiral upwards from the
cigarette's burning tip. 

    Sucking the smoke inside, Patti once again held it for several seconds.
Her heart began to beat faster as more nicotine rushed to enter her system.
"Still feels really good," she reassured herself without exhaling. Then, with
a sudden flash of excitement, Patti began to exhale through her nostrils.
She'd seen Trish do it before. The smoke made her sinus and her nose feel
strange, but good. "That is cool," she told herself. "I'll have to try that
again."

    Patti smoked the entire cigarette sitting at the kitchen table. After the
first several puffs, she mixed her drags with sips of coffee. The coffee
actually seemed to taste better when mixed with smoke. "So that's why smokers
like to smoke and drink coffee at the same time," she smiled to herself. "I'll
have to remember that."

    When she finally finished her cigarette Patti realized she felt dizzy. Not
bad, actually, but definitely dizzy. Just like the night before. "But it took
longer for the nicotine to affect me this time," she encouraged herself. "I'm
getting used to it. And maybe it's my imagination, but this morning the smoke
doesn't taste quite so bitter. Maybe it'll be even better next time."

    Without really realizing it Patti had already decided there definitely
would be a next time. She showered, dressed and began her morning's planned
activities. She tried not to think about being fired or the challenge before
her. Patti got her checkbook and begin working on paying some bills. She
removed the Marlboro Lights 100's and the ashtray from the kitchen table. She
didn't want to be distracted.

    At precisely 11:00 the phone rang. It was Trish. "Still want to go to
lunch, kid?" was the question. Trish's voice sounded amused.

    "Sure," Patti replied cautiously. She knew what the next question was
going to be.

    "Great," said Trish. Her voice was upbeat. "Now tell me. Have you been
smoking today, or did you think better of it? Tell the truth!"

    "No, I did smoke a cigarette this morning. No problem," Patti answered
truthfully. "And I inhaled and everything. Just like you showed me. I still
don't like the taste very much, but I told you I was going to learn."

    The phone was silent for a moment. "No kidding?" Trish answered. "God,
you're a gamer, no doubt about it. I figured you'd chicken out when you woke
up this morning. Well, I have to run an errand before lunch. I've got to go to
the drugstore. How about if we meet at Robinson's at noon?"

    Robinson's was a small bistro in the nearby shopping center. Patti knew
the restaurant. It had a smoking section. It was one of Steve and Trish's
favorite places to eat. Steve and Trish didn't patronize restaurants which
prohibited smoking.

    "Okay," she replied cautiously. Then Patti screwed up her courage. Shit,
who cared if she saw someone she knew? She'd deal with it. "Okay," Patti
repeated more firmly. "I'll meet you there at noon."

    As soon as she hung up the phone, Patti felt scared. What had she gotten
herself into? Trish was going to expect her to smoke at the restaurant. Patti
walked into the kitchen and retrieved the cigarettes.

    "This may be crazy, but I've got to practice again," she decided as she
stood at the kitchen counter. "Just to make sure I don't embarrass myself." No
way Patti was going to back down now. Her pride was at stake.

    Once again she slowly opened the box. Patti lifted it to her nose and
smelled. The aroma of fresh tobacco wasn't bad. In fact, the cigarettes
smelled ... interesting. Okay, they smelled good, Patti admitted. She
carefully removed one from the box and placed it in her mouth. "God," she
giggled aloud, watching the unlit cigarette bounce between her lips. "If only
Randy Wisdom could see me now."

    The thought of her principal's disapproval provided Patti with new
courage. She picked up the lighter and pushed the button. Rotating the wheel,
she watched it come to life. She moved the flame toward the cigarette. As soon
as she started to suck, Patti felt the rush of bitter smoke filling her mouth
once again. Ignoring the bitterness, she kept on. She continued to drag on the
cigarette for several seconds and then removed it from her mouth. 

    She consciously inhaled, holding the smoke inside her lungs before
breathing out. Patti immediately felt that same tingling sensation inside her
chest. And, as before, it felt surprisingly good. She then slowly exhaled a
cloud of smoke into the air. God, it didn't seem so bitter this time. That was
encouraging.

    "The smoke is my friend," she whispered aloud. "Because the smoke wants to
help me. It wants to help me relax. No, it will help me relax. And it will
provide me with revenge against that bastard Randy Wisdom!"

    Patti returned the cigarette to her lips. She puffed again. "It doesn't
taste bad," she told herself with conviction. "No, it tastes good. I'm
becoming a person who can smoke if she wants to. Screw you, Randy!" Letting
the smoke fill her lungs again, Patti's head felt slightly dizzy. She sat down
at the kitchen table as she exhaled another cloud of smoke. "I want to smoke
right now," she added. 

    Patti looked at the burning cigarette. "I'm going to let you help me," she
told the cigarette while she watched the smoke twirl from the end. "You can
help me understand what I've been missing. Help me relax. Just like you help
my friend Trish." She puffed again. This time the smoke definitely felt good
in her lungs. She held it in. "Before this is over, I'm going to need you.
Just like Trish does. Just like Miriam does. And it will drive Randy crazy!"
Patti smiled to herself as she watched the smoke she'd just inhaled escape
from her lips while she spoke.

    Patti smoked over half the cigarette before putting it out. She was proud
of herself. She'd smoked two cigarettes this morning. The taste had become ...
well, almost pleasant. And the feeling in her lungs was definitely pleasant.
But Patti didn't feel relaxed. Instead she felt jazzed. She liked the rush she
felt when she inhaled. She was ready for the next step.

    Patti was dressed in a bright red designer tee-shirt and blue jeans.
Robinson's Bistro was a yuppie hangout. If she was going to smoke at
Robinson's, at least she could look stylish! Putting her shoes on, Patti
reached for her car keys on the kitchen key ring. She was walking into the
garage before she realized what she'd forgotten. "My cigarettes," she smiled
to herself. "Why, I've got to take my cigarettes if I'm going to smoke with
Trish," she added, as if playing a part in some play. She picked up the box of
Marlboro Light 100's and her lighter, putting them in the side pocket of her
purse. She sighed. She was still nervous. "Here goes nothing!"

    It took only a few minutes to arrive at Robinson's Bistro. But Trish was
nowhere to be seen. "Smoking or non-smoking?" the hostess asked politely.

    Patti paused. "Smoking, please," she announced firmly. "A table for two in
the smoking section."

    Without a word the hostess led her to a small table in the smoking
section. Patti sat down. It was still a few minutes before noon. She looked
around. People were smoking at all the other tables. A strong smell of
cigarette smoke filled the air. This was the price to be paid, Patti
acknowledged silently. But maybe it wouldn't bother her so much once she and
Trish started smoking, too. A feeling of illicit excitement swept over her.
She felt like a teenager about to break the rules.

    Patti's eyes rested on a young man and women at the next table. The two of
them hadn't yet been served. The woman was very attractive, with dark skin and
long black hair falling over her shoulders. And she was smoking. Patti watched
how she held the long, white cigarette erect between her fingers while she
talked with her friend. Every few moments she took a long drag and quickly
inhaled as she tapped some ashes into the ashtray, and then blew a long stream
of smoke straight up into the air. The grin on her face spoke for itself. She
was glad to be smoking. She smoked the entire cigarette quickly and
efficiently.

    To Patti's surprise, the young woman with the long black hair immediately
lit up a second cigarette as soon as she finished the first one. This time her
friend joined in and lit up as well. The woman took repeated, long puffs every
few moments. The length of each puff was interminable, and the resulting smoke
disappeared deep inside the woman's lungs for quite some time. Her full
attention was focused on smoking her cigarette. And each time, when she
finally exhaled, a huge cloud of smoke rolled upwards toward the ceiling. 

    Patti continued to watch. When the couple's food finally arrived, to
Patti's surprise they didn't stop smoking. Instead, the food just sat until
they finished their cigarettes. Patti made a mental note. They were more
interested in finishing their cigarettes than in eating. That must be why
people lose weight when they smoke, she decided.

    "Taking notes?" said a familiar voice. Patti looked up. It was Trish. She
looked great. She wore a beige sun-dress which revealed a good deal of
cleavage. Trish had a great figure.

    Patti smiled with embarrassment. "Sort of," she admitted. "Just observing
how people do it, that's all."

    Trish sat down and opened her purse. She placed her cigarette case on the
table and pulled her long hair back behind her head. "God, I want a
cigarette," Trish sighed with an evil grin. "How about you, Patti?"

    "Sure," Patti said smugly, playing along with the game. "I'm ready if you
are."

    Patti watched as Trish quickly lit up. "I'm always ready," Trish sighed. A
look of relief spread across her face as she took a long drag and inhaled. "Go
ahead, Patti," she smiled while she exhaled. "Show me what you can do."

    Patti reached into her purse and put her cigarettes on the table. She
opened the box and removed one. As she put the cigarette between her lips,
Patti realized the lighter was still in her purse. She began to fish for it.

    "Here, let me, Patti," Trish interrupted. She flicked her own lighter and
held it across the table. The flame hung in the air in front of Patti's face.

    Patti smiled. "Why, thank you, Trish," she said with mock sincerity. "I
appreciate it." She reached out and steadied the flame by holding Trish's
hand. The flame ignited Patti's cigarette. She took a drag and removed the
cigarette while she inhaled. "Ahh, that tastes good to me," Patti smiled,
still playing the part of the smoker. The truth was, however, it did taste
good to Patti. Very good!

    Once again Trish grinned that familiar grin as she watched Patti exhale.
"God, I'm impressed," she said with conviction. "You seem much more
comfortable than last night. And you're really inhaling now."

    "Actually, to be honest with you, I kind of like it," Patti admitted. "I
like the way it makes me feel." Patti wasn't stretching the truth. It did feel
good.

    Trish took a drag on her own cigarette. She nodded her head in agreement.
"But oh my God," she exclaimed. "That's trouble, kid." Trish paused to let
smoke escape in a brief exhale. "Because once you start liking how it makes
you feel, you want to smoke more and more. Before you know it, you're hooked.
What about all your health risks, Patti?" The balance of Trish's inhaled smoke
finally vanished into the air. "Are you going to ignore them?"

    Patti took another drag. It did feel good as she inhaled the smoke. Her
head felt pleasantly buzzed. The taste of the smoke now seemed pleasant
indeed. "You're not worried about the risks, are you Trish? Well, then neither
am I." She smiled at her friend. "Besides, I'm not hooked yet. I'm not going
to become a real smoker or anything. You know, an addict. But that doesn't
mean I can't learn to enjoy the taste and have an occasional cigarette with
you or with Mark."

    "Oh no," Trish disagreed. "That just what I thought when I first started.
I was an invincible college student who just wanted some help losing weight. I
thought I'd just enjoy an occasional cigarette with my smoking friends when I
felt like it. The problem was, pretty soon I felt like it more and more often.
Then it was all the time. Before I knew what hit me, I couldn't live without
'em."

    Patti frowned. She was feeling dizzy now. "But you're not sorry?"

    Trish laughed. "Hell, no! I'm just telling you to count the cost, kid. I
don't want you to blame me later."

    Patti took another drag. The pleasant tingle in her chest still felt good.
"Let me worry about that, Trish. I just need to get good enough to freak out
Randy Wisdom. That's all."

    The waitress came and took their order. Trish smoked another cigarette
before their food came, though Patti didn't join her this time. But she
watched with interest as both Trish and the couple at the adjoining table
smoked. Patti counted four cigarettes which the woman at the next table had
smoked so far. She was laughing and talking, obviously having a good time.
Smoking was part of her persona. Just like it was part of Trish's. Patti found
it all very interesting.

    After lunch, as soon as the waitress brought coffee, Trish again reached
for her cigarette case. "Let me do it this time," Patti announced. She flicked
her lighter and held the flame for Trish. Trish leaned in and took the light.


    "Thanks, Patti," Trish said as she exhaled a small puff of smoke from the
corner of her lips.

    Without waiting Patti deposited a cigarette between her own lips and
flicked the lighter again. The taste of cigarette smoke seemed even better
after that first sip of black coffee. Once again Patti smoked the entire
cigarette. 

    The young woman with the long black hair at the next table was finishing
her seventh cigarette of the meal. Except for the few minutes during which she
wolfed down her food, the woman never stopped smoking. Her male friend smoked,
too, but he couldn't match the young woman's cigarette consumption. Patti
noticed the word "Marlboro" on the side her pack of cigarettes.

    Finally, the couple left to pay their bill at the register. Patti asked
Trish whether Marlboro was a popular brand.

    "Absolutely," Trish confirmed. "It's probably the most popular brand among
young women today. Marlboro Light 100's. They've got a great tobacco taste,
don't you think?"

    "I guess so," Patti agreed. Yeah, she liked the way they tasted and the
way they made her feel. "Of course, I've got no means of comparison," she
giggled. Patti felt jazzed, excited. She was enjoying this.

    "Trust me," Trish smiled. "If you want you can try other brands, but
you'll always return to these babies!"

    Eventually Patti and Trish, too, walked to the register to pay the bill.
"So, what are you going to do now?" Trish asked. "I mean, are you going to
keep at it?"

    "Yes," Patti said with conviction as she handed the cashier a twenty. "I
think I'll call Miriam and see if we can get together. She'll freak out. It'll
be hilarious if I show her I can smoke now."

    "And what about Ralph Wisdom? Are you really going to smoke in front of
him? How will you pull that off?"

    "I don't know how," Patti admitted. "But I'd like to."

    As soon as Patti arrived home, she called her sister. Miriam was doing the
usual weekend housework. But she told Patti she'd love to get together. 

    "Then come over to my house for dinner tonight, Sis," Patti suggested.
"I've got something very interesting to show you." She paused. "I'll even let
you smoke in my house tonight if you want."

    "I'm there," Miriam agreed. "But you don't have to let me smoke, Patti. I
know you hate the smell."

    "Don't worry, Sis. It won't bother me at all."

    During the course of the afternoon Patti smoked again, having one
cigarette at two-thirty and a second one at four. She noticed that each time
she smoked one, it seemed easier than it had before. The initial dizziness she
felt had now completely passed. She almost missed the buzz, she decided. 

    "I think I like this smoking thing," Patti told herself after finishing
the second Marlboro and crushing it in the ashtray. It was filling up, she
realized. Patti thought about the young woman she'd seen at the restaurant.
That girl smoked two cigarettes in a row before lunch, Patti reminded herself.
I'm going to try that, too. She immediately lit another cigarette, smoking it
to the very end. It seemed wicked, but very enjoyable.

    Miriam arrived about five-thirty. "Hey, somebody's been smoking in here,
Patti," she announced as she entered the house and walked into the kitchen.
"Has your friend Trish been here?"

    Patti smiled as they sat down. Miriam set her purse on the kitchen table.
They had time to visit before eating. Dinner wouldn't be ready until six.
"No," Patti finally answered. "Trish hasn't been here all day. No one's been
here but me." Miriam looked confused.

    Although she felt nervous, Patti decided the best approach was a direct
one. She cleared her throat. "Let me explain. Miriam, what would you say if I
told you I'd decided to start smoking?"

    Miriam's eyes almost bugged out of her head. "You?" she exclaimed. "Aw,
c'mon. Get serious!"

    "No, it's true," Patti replied calmly. "I've already smoked seven
cigarettes today. To tell you the truth, I like smoking. Much more than I
thought I would." 

    A look of disbelief was emblazoned on Miriam's face. "I can't believe it,"
she stuttered. But Miriam sniffed the air in the kitchen again. Yeah, someone
had been smoking in here, that was certain. "God, I'm shocked, Patti. You!?
Why?"

    "Believe me, it surprises me more than it surprises you," Patti smiled.
She explained to Miriam the events of last night and today. "So I decided to
smoke because of Randy Wisdom. God, I hate him! The bastard fired me. And he
hates smokers. So I'm going to give him a damn good reason to hate me, too."

    Miriam shook her head. Without another word she reached into her purse and
removed a pack of Salem Light 100's and a lighter. "Jesus! Well, if you're
serious, Patti, then I'm going to have a cigarette right now. Is that okay?"

    "Sure, as long as I can join you," Patti smiled. She walked into the
kitchen and retrieved her ashtray, her Marlboros and her own lighter.

    Miriam shook her head in disbelief a second time. She watched Patti, her
anti-smoking sister, place a cigarette in her mouth and light up without
hesitation. Miriam shook a Salem from her pack and immediately followed suit.

    "God, I just can't believe it," Miriam laughed after her initial drag. Her
eyes were fixed on Patti. "Look, my big sister, the great anti-smoking
crusader, sitting here smoking a cigarette with me just as natural as can be!"
Miriam watched carefully while Patti took a second drag and inhaled the smoke
deep into her lungs. "Shit," Miriam sputtered. "You're even inhaling! God,
Patti, I absolutely can't believe this!"

    Patti blushed. "The funny thing is, so far, I really like it, Miriam," she
whispered. Patti paused and then grinned. She took another drag. "You know, I
have to admit something to you. I guess I also wanted to understand the
attraction of smoking. You talked about it. Your roommate talked about it.
Trish talked about it. But I didn't understand. I guess I'm learning now,
huh?."

    Miriam exhaled in twin streams from her nostrils. "God, I guess so! Tell
me, Patti, are you really serious? Are you really going to start smoking? I
mean, like, all the time?" Before Patti answered Miriam laughed again.
"Christ, you look like it, that's for sure!"

    Patti looked down as she tapped some ashes into the ashtray. "I don't
know," she admitted with a wry grin. "If you'd asked me last night I'd have
said no. But now ... I don't know." She paused to take another hit. "It's
almost scary. I really understand why you like smoking so much. Every
cigarette I smoke tastes better than the one before. But that's all I can say
now. I'm not sure what's going to happen...."

    "God, Patti," Miriam sighed. "If you only started last night and you're
already talking like that...." She didn't finish her sentence. "I mean, you're
talking like someone who's already decided she wants to keep on smoking. If
you ask me, that is." Miriam watched with interest as Patti took another big
drag and again pulled the smoke deep inside. "And if you keep on inhaling like
that, you won't be able to stop."

    "Maybe you're right, Miriam. Maybe I don't want to stop." She exhaled the
smoke in a thin stream into the air. "I do like smoking. So far, anyway. But
we'll see what Mark says. I'm not sure how he'll react."

    Miriam smiled. "Oh, don't worry about Mark. He'll be delighted. He still
likes to smoke, you know. He's told me. He's always smoked a lot more than he
ever admitted to you." Miriam suddenly looked guilty. "God, maybe I shouldn't
be telling you this. But I'd be shocked if he didn't prefer having you smoke
with him. Shit, I know I'd never live with a non-smoker. No, he'll be very
happy. Trust me."

    "I hope so," Patti sighed. Realizing what she'd just said, Patti giggled.
"God, I don't know what I'm saying. I am talking like someone who wants to
smoke, aren't I?"

    "You sure are," agreed Miriam with a grin. "I have to admit, Patti, I'm
delighted, too. Smoking is a social habit. I love to get together with people
who smoke. It's fun to spend time with other smokers. If you start smoking,
too, Sis, we'll probably spend a lot more time together." She smiled sincerely
at Patti. "And I'd like that."

    "I'd like that, too, Miriam," she answered with equal sincerity. 

    "But what about all your bad-ass health worries, Patti?" Miriam asked.
"You used to be so fixated on smoking being bad for you. Have you changed your
mind?"

    "I don't know," Patti admitted. She looked at her cigarette. "I don't want
to think about that. I just like smoking. That's all. Somehow the health risks
don't seem very important to me anymore." She smiled. "Maybe that's bad. But I
guess I don't care."

    Patti took a last drag and crushed her cigarette out as she inhaled. She
let the smoke sit in her lungs for several long seconds before exhaling. Gosh,
it felt good. Dangerously good. For a moment Patti considered lighting up
another one immediately. It would be pleasant to sit and smoke another
cigarette with Miriam, she mused. But she caught herself. "Hey, let's get
dinner ready," she suggested, changing the subject.

    Dinner was uneventful but good. As a treat, Patti decided to open a bottle
of red wine. The two sisters laughed and talked while they shared a glass over
dinner. As soon as they finished eating, Miriam lit up a cigarette and Patti
joined her. Patti got them both a second glass of wine, and then eventually a
third and a fourth. The combination of drinking wine and smoking seemed very
pleasant to Patti. Whenever Miriam lit up, so did Patti. Without realizing it,
she smoked four more cigarettes after supper while consuming the three
additional glasses of wine.

    "Hey, Patti, it's almost eight o'clock," Miriam finally announced as she
finished the last glass. Always bright and chipper, Miriam was now decidedly
giddy after imbibing so much wine. "I've got to get going." She looked at the
ashtray which now contained ten cigarette butts and laughed. "Oh, fuck," she
exclaimed in mock horror. "God, look how much we've been smoking!" Miriam
stood up to empty the ashtray into the trash. "For a non-smoker, Patti, you're
doing one hell of a job smoking those Marlboros tonight!" 

    Patti watched Miriam walk into the kitchen and dump the overflowing
ashtray into the garbage. Her sister was right. Patti looked into the pack in
front of her. It was almost empty. She took another sip of wine. She didn't
care. She felt good. Relaxed. A little tipsy, but satisfied with herself.
She'd done it. She'd kept pace with her sister's smoking all evening.

    After replacing the empty ashtray on the table, Miriam sat back down.
"Hey, let's smoke one more, okay?" she giggled. Miriam reached into her pack
of Salems and discovered she was out. "Damn!" she cursed. "Smoked out!"

    "You can have one of mine, Miriam," Patti offered. Although there weren't
many left, the wine made her feel generous.

    Miriam poked around in her purse. "No way," she replied. "I don't like
smoking those non-menthols. Unless I have no choice. And I know I've got
another pack of Salems in here somewhere. I never go anywhere without an extra
pack in my purse." Finally Miriam triumphantly removed a fresh unopened pack.
"See," she announced proudly. She began tapping it on the back of her hand.
She pulled open the cellophane and tore open the top, tapping on it again with
her hand to expose several cigarettes standing as if at attention. 

    "Hey, Patti," Miriam asked. "Have you ever tried smoking menthols?"

    Patti was confused. "No," she admitted. "Of course not, stupid. These are
the only cigarettes I've ever smoked," she added, pointing to the pack of
Marlboro Light 100's.

    "Hey, then, try one of mine," Miriam insisted, handing Patti a cigarette.
"They taste cool. You'll see. Try one!"

    Patti took the cigarette and accepted a light. Miriam was right. The
tobacco tasted similar, but much cooler. She immediately liked it. Patti could
feel the different sensation of the cooler smoke flowing down her windpipe
into her lungs each time she inhaled. "You're right, Miriam," she agreed after
exhaling her third drag. "I like Trish's cigarettes, but these are different.
Really nice!"

    "I'll get you smoking menthols before you know it, Patti. Here, keep this
pack. I've got another one in the car." Patti started to object, but Miriam
was insistent. "Just consider it my small contribution. Trish did the lion's
share of the work. I should do something to help you slide down the slippery
slope toward absolute corruption!" Miriam grinned.

    So did Patti. She had a fresh supply of cigarettes. And she liked Miriam's
brand. She wasn't sure whether she preferred them over Trish's. Maybe she'd
had too much wine. Patti giggled to herself. Smoking for only one day and
already I'm a cigarette connoisseur! She took another long drag. God, it
tasted good! She smoked the whole Salem and enjoyed it immensely.

    After Miriam left, Patti began cleaning up. Even with Miriam over for
supper, it was a much simpler to clean up when Mark and Megan weren't home,
too. After finishing the dishes, Patti made a quick trip to the bathroom. Then
she walked to the family room to turn on the TV. Suddenly she realized the
whole house reeked of cigarette smoke. Still feeling light-headed, she started
to open the window to air out the family room. But suddenly she changed her
mind. She took a deep breath. She smiled. Patti decided the air didn't smell
bad. No, it smelled ... good. Really good. She stood in the center of the room
for a moment considering the significance of this surprising judgment.

    All of a sudden Patti wanted another cigarette. Right now. She wasn't sure
why, or even how she knew. She just did. But for the effect of the wine she'd
consumed, this realization would probably have alarmed her. Instead, Patti
began laughing. "Oh my God," she giggled aloud. "Maybe I'm actually feeling
those cravings that real smokers like Trish and Miriam always talk about."
Strangely pleased with herself, Patti walked into the kitchen and retrieved
the fresh pack of Salem Light 100's, her lighter and the ashtray. She started
back toward the family room. Then she stopped. She smiled again. Setting her
stuff back down on the kitchen table, Patti instead headed to the refrigerator
and poured another glass of wine. Finally, holding the wine with one hand and
the ashtray in the other (with the pack of Salems and the lighter balancing
inside the ashtray), Patti returned to the family room. The ashtray went in
front of her on the coffee table. She turned on the TV. Soon she found a
romantic comedy to watch on HBO. 

    Defiantly, Patti placed a cigarette in her mouth. "I'm think I'm going to
smoke," she announced to herself. "Just because I want to." Smiling with
satisfaction at her decision, she quickly lit up and took a big, cheek
hollowing drag, sucking on the cigarette as long as she could. "Oh," she
whispered as she finally inhaled the cool, mentholated smoke. "That tastes so
damn good." She followed the first drag with another, even longer one, and
carefully inhaled as much more smoke as she possibly could deep into her
lungs. Patti raised the wine glass to her lips and took a sip, watching with
fascination as smoke slowly escaped from her mouth while she drank.

    Patti leaned back, put her feet up on the coffee table, and finished her
exhale. "Yeah, I think I'm going to be a smoker," she sighed. "Miriam was
right. I like these things too much to stop now. I can't imagine quitting!"
She looked at the all white cigarette between her fingers. She laughed again.
"Fuck you, Ralph Wisdom!" Patti exclaimed. "And all your anti-smoking friends,
too!" Taking another sip of wine, she happily settled back to watch her movie,
drink her wine, and smoke her cigarette. And she knew, beyond a shadow of a
doubt, this would not be her last cigarette of the evening, either.

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