Susan - A Young Mother, Part 1

(by, 22 September 1995)

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Article 3225 of
From: (Annie01298)
Subject: Susan - A Young Mother (part 1 - long)
Date: 22 Sep 1995 19:02:48 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
Lines: 122
Message-ID: <43vfao$>
Reply-To: (Annie01298)

Susan and Larry Johnson married at a young age.  The were high school
sweet hearts and as soon as they finished their senior year they were
married and within a year they the were the proud parents of a baby girl. 
Both Susan and Larry were from families of smokers so it was no surprise
that they learned to smoke quite early.  They would meet each other after
school and smoke at Susan's house before her parents got home.  By the
time that Susan finished her last year of high school she had been smoking
for 3 years and was close to a pack a day.  They grew up in a time when
smoking was still very acceptable and although their parents didn't openly
agree with their smoking it was really no big deal.

At 19 and pregnant, Susan and Larry decided that they should not smoke
anymore for fear of causing harm to their baby.  The first few weeks went
well because of the excitement of their impending parenthood.  Soon the
excitement wore off and they both struggled with their decision to not
smoke.  Neither had ever tried to quit before and they had no idea just
how much they would miss it.  Susan couldn't stand the thought of being
without her Virginia Slims Menthol, they had given her so much pleasure in
the past it was all she could do to fight of the intense desire she had to
fill her lungs with smoke.  In a moment of weakness one morning, she
rushed off to the store and 
bought herself a pack.  By the time she got home she was shaking at the
thought of lighting that first cigarette.  She somehow was able to rip the
pack open and tap one out.  She put it up to her nose and took a sniff to
smell the sweet aroma of a fresh pack.  She quickly placed to her lips and
lit it.  She pulled as hard as she could to fill her mouth with smoke and
then quickly opened her mouth and inhaled as deeply as she could.  It felt
so cool that she held the smoke in her chest for several seconds before
exhaling with a deep sigh.  Before she had even finished exhaling she
already had the cigarette to her lips again for another long puff.  "God
it felt so good to smoke again" she thought.  By the time she had finished
her cigarette an intense feeling of guilt came over her.  "What I'm I
doing; I'm pregnant.  I can't be doing this" she thought to herself.  She
threw the pack in the garbage and went about her business for the day.  Of
course after about 2 hours, the guilty feelings had subsided and intense
cravings had again returned.  She did her best to take her mind off
smoking but every where she turned her mind kept returning the pleasure of
smoking.  She couldn't take it any longer and retrieved the pack from the
garbage and lit up again.  Each puff of smoke she inhaled reinforced the
pleasure she had always experienced from her cigarettes.  It felt so good
to see the smoke in front of her mouth as sucked it quickly back into her
lungs.  The 
familiar burn in the back of her throat she felt when she inhaled, which
she had a hard time with when she originally started smoking, was now one
of the many things she truly enjoyed about her habit.

She was able to make it through the rest of the day with only 2 cigarettes
but it was not easy.  Larry returned from work at 5:30 and he immediately
smelled the stale cigarette smoke in the air.  He found Susan in the
kitchen and said in a calm voice "you were smoking today weren't you?" 
Susan had made no attempts to hide it and responded "I couldn't handle it
anymore.  I never realized how much I would miss smoking until we quit." 
Larry then said "well, I have a confession to make.  I have been smoking
behind your back for about a week.  I knew that if you found out it make
it impossible for you not to smoke; I hope your not angry with me."  Susan
went over to Larry and gave him big hug and said "of course I'm not angry,
I know you were only thinking of me by hiding it from me.  Believe me, I
know how hard it is not smoking when you really want to.  I'm going to do
my best to not smoke while I'm pregnant but there is no point in us both
suffering. If you want to smoke you are welcome to do so."  Larry couldn't
believe his wives understanding.  He gave her a big kiss and said "I'll do
my best not to smoke around you so you won't be tempted."  Susan replied
"you don't have to worry about me, I'm determined to beat this thing."

Larry continued to smoke and although Susan was extremely jealous of him
being able to enjoy a good cigarette she was able to stick to her
conviction with only a few relapses.  She would occasionally take a puff
on Larry's cigarette but only a few per week and she never smoked an
entire cigarette.  By the time she was 7 months along she had completely
eliminated any cravings for smoking at all.  At first she figured she
would start smoking again as soon as the baby was born but now she felt
that she would never smoke again.  Kate was born right on schedule and
they couldn't have been more proud.  But within a day of her birth the
pressure of the pregnancy had worn off and Susan's thoughts returned to
smoking again.  She thought that she had truly beaten her addiction but
she soon began to wonder what it would it be like to be able to freely
enjoy smoking again.  She tried her best to put it out of her mind, after
all,she had worked so hard to get to the point of actually not thinking
about smoking but watching her husband smoke was more than she could deal
with.  The day she returned home from hospital she could think of nothing
else but feeling that smoke in her lungs again.  She had just put Kate
down for a nap and found Larry in the living room.  He lit a cigarette as
Susan sat next to him.  The smell of his smoke began to drift toward her
and began to drive her crazy.  She wanted to get up but couldn't bring
herself to move.  
As he continued to exhale the smoke, she found herself trying to breathe
it in but found little satisfaction in this venture.  She finally broke
down and said "I've got to have a cigarette.  I've tried my best to avoid
it but I can't do it anymore."  Larry quickly replied "frankly I'm a
little surprised that you haven't smoked before now.  I thought about
offering you a cigarette but I didn't want you to be tempted to smoke if
you didn't really want to.  To be honest with you, I've missed having you
smoke with me."  Susan promptly reached for the pack on the table and
quickly withdrew one.  Larry smoked Benson & Hedges Menthol which were
virtually same as her brand.  He reached for 
the lighter and she gently held his hand close as he lit her cigarette. 
Susan nodded a thank you to Larry as she proceeded to fill her mouth with
smoke.  She opened her mouth to expose the smoke and quickly filled her
lungs.  Larry had missed seeing his lovely young bride smoke.  She was so
sexy as she would inhale the dense clouds of smoke he affectionately
referred to as cotton balls.  Prior to inhaling, the smoke would escape
her mouth to form a tight ball which she would then pull back through her
nose and mouth.  As he watched her resume her habit he had an immediate
erection that he hadn't felt in some time.  He had an intense desire to
smoke himself so he proceeded to light his own cigarette while trying to
adjust his tight pants.  As she finished her first 
cigarette Larry asked "well, how does it feel to be able to smoke again." 
Susan smiled and said "like heaven!.  I don't know how I was able to
abstain from smoking these past few months but I'm so happy to be able
enjoy it once again."  Larry offered he another cigarette which graciously
accepted, to his delight.

Susan soon returned to her usual pack a day habit and was enjoying a new
found appreciation for the pleasures of smoking.  Her cravings for
nicotine felt great again since she was now able to undulge herself as
much as she wanted.During Susan's period as a non-smoker Larry found it
less pleasurable and dropped his consumption to 12 -15 cigarettes per day.
 But as Susan began to smoke more, 
Larry found that his desire to smoke had dramatically increased and was
soon smoking 30 cigarettes a day again.

Part 2 to follow

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