Taste the Consequences, Part 4

This fictional account contains adult language and sexual themes.  If such
language and themes offend you, please do not read further.  The persons and
events described in this work are purely fictional.  Any similarity to actual
persons or events is strictly coincidental.  Copyright 2004 by SSTORYMAN.
All rights reserved.  Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this story in
any form and for any purpose as long as this notice is reproduced and no
financial remuneration is received, directly or indirectly, by the person
reproducing or using it.

TASTING THE CONSEQUENCES

4.	Escalating Appetite.

   The next morning Amanda and Jodi smoked cigarettes together before the
teenager left for school.  Like the previous day, Amanda felt tremendous
relief.  In truth, she nearly devoured her first cigarette of the morning.
There was no denying she really liked how smoking made her feel.  Although
the realization frightened her, and tempted her to try and stop, she reminded
herself if she just kept at it a couple more days Jodi would quit.  Then she
would, too, of course.  That hope helped her keep her sanity as she returned
to the computer to work on her outline.

   Unfortunately, like the day before she found the work frustrating.
'Tasting the Consequences' was relatively easy to write.  She and Joe did
most of the work on that book together.  It was only after the divorce, after
the outlines of the chapters were complete, that she had to finish the book
by herself.  Her growing realization that she couldn't write effectively
without her ex-husband's assistance irritated her.  And the longer she
struggled with the outline on her computer, the more irritated she got.

   So she smoked.  She smoked as much or more than she smoked with Jodi the
night before, at least a couple each hour.  She realized exactly what she was
doing, lighting up one after another, but the truth was she simply couldn't
help herself.  What made it worse, the more frustrated she grew over the damn
outline the more she smoked.

   At eleven o'clock she reached for her pack and found it was empty.  She
couldn't believe it.  "Oh my God," she gasped.  "I've smoked twenty
cigarettes!  Shit, I don't fuckin' believe it."  However, at the moment that
wasn't her primary concern.  She felt edgy and unfortunately she knew why.
"God, I gotta buy more," she groaned.  "I don't believe it, but I'm actually
going to go the store to buy myself more of these stupid things!"

   Impetuously she got in her car and headed for the convenience store at the
end of her street.  Most clerks who worked there barely spoke English.  They
wouldn't recognize her, which was important.  She couldn't be seen buying
cigarettes!  That'd be a disaster.  Nonetheless, though more than a little
frightened by the realization that she needed to keep smoking, she calmed
herself by remembering that her growing habit meant her daughter would soon
quit.  "Jodi and I can do it together," she said thankfully.  "That'll make
all this shit well worth it!"

   Nervous as hell, Amanda walked into the convenience store.  She looked
around.  It was empty but for a bored young girl sitting behind the cash
register.  Unfortunately, the clerk looked  totally American.  Cursing her
bad luck under her breath, Amanda approached the counter.

   "Can I help you?"  The young girl was merely intoning her routine query,
but she spoke English every bit as well as she did.  Well, Amanda sighed,
nothing to do but press on.

   "Yeah, I need a pack of Benson & Hedges," Amanda mumbled.  "No, make that
two," she said, after thinking how many cigarettes she'd need to carry her
through the next two days.

   "Regular or lights?"

   Amanda frowned.  "Uh, regular, I guess."  With an inquiring look the girl
behind the counter held up a familiar looking gold pack.  "Yeah, those are
the ones," she nodded.

   "Box or soft pack?"

   "Uh, that one.  Soft pack."

   The girl put two packs of Benson & Hedges 100's on the counter and rang up
the cash register.  She looked up at her customer.  Suddenly her face
brightened.  "Hey, wait a second.  I know you.  I've seen your picture in the
paper and on TV.  Yeah, I know you.  You're Amanda Eagle, aren't you?  You're
the lady who wrote that new book everybody's reading.  What's it called?
Something about consequences?  And weren't you on Oprah a couple months ago?"

   Amanda froze.  She was busted.  She didn't know what to do or say.  "Uh,
yeah, that's me, all right," she finally grinned sheepishly.  "I'm surprised
you recognized me."

   "Well, not too many people get to be on Oprah, you know," the girl
effused.  "Everybody was talking about it.  So, what's Oprah really like in
person?"

   "Oh, Oprah was great.  She's an absolute dear," Amanda smiled warmly as
she put a twenty down on the counter.  "Oprah's just as sweet in person as
she always seems on television.  It was pretty cool to get to meet her."

   The girl took Amanda's money and began counting out her change.  "So, you
smoke?"

   Amanda dearly hoped this wouldn't happen.  But now she had to deal with
it.  What could she say to explain this?  Of course, this girl was nobody.
Hell, she was working at a goddamn convenience store.  It didn't matter what
she thought.

   "Yeah, sort of," she finally said with a guilty smile.  "It's kind of hard
to explain."

   The girl handed over the gold packs with Amanda's change.  "Hey, no need
to apologize to me," she grinned enthusiastically.  "You'd be surprised by
all the people I see coming in here to buy cigarettes.  I bet half of 'em
never admit to anybody that they smoke."

   "Really?"

   "Oh yeah," the girl blithely went on.  "Probably fifty percent of the
people you know, the ones you think would never smoke, are secretly doing it
when no one's looking.  Of course I smoke, too, so I don't care."

   "That's interesting.  So you're saying that lots more people smoke than I
realize?"

   "Absolutely, Ms. Eagle.  So I assume that you don't want me to tell the
world I saw you in here buying cigarettes?"

   "No, please don't," Amanda giggled nervously.  "Like I said, it's kinda
complicated.  I'm gonna be quitting real soon."

   The female clerk laughed.  "Yeah, everybody says that.  Everyone's just
about to quit.  It's funny, though.  They tell me that and then I see 'em
coming in here again, day after day, week after week, buying more and more
cigarettes.  Yeah, they all talk about quitting but none of them ever seem to
get around to actually doing it."

   The girl's comment troubled Amanda.  "Hmm, interesting.  Well, thanks a
lot.  Actually, honey, if you do smoke, then you really should quit, too, you
know."

   "Right, Ms. Eagle, and so should you," the girl replied impishly.  "But
let's be honest.  You won't, and neither will I.  Neither of us ever will.
None of us smokers ever quit, not once we get hooked on these things.  We
talk about quitting a lot, but we never follow through."

   Amanda pondered her exchange with the convenience store clerk as she drove
home.  The girl was right about one thing.  You never knew who might turn out
to be a closet smoker.  For instance, she never guessed that her ex-husband
Joe would ever smoke.  Undoubtedly none of his patients at his counseling
office had any idea.  Plus, in all the years she knew Claudia Coleman, she
never guessed Claudia smoked.  There were probably lots more smokers out
there than she ever imagined.  Well, that didn't matter.  The only thing she
knew was she wasn't going to be one of them.  No, two more days and it'd be
over for good.

   Back at her house Amanda tore the cellophane and the inner paper off of
one of her new packs.  She tapped out a cigarette and felt an undeniable
surge of mounting excitement.  She shook her head.  God, these things were
incredibly alluring!  Smoking was so incredibly stupid.

   But then she lit up the cigarette.  Suddenly it didn't feel stupid.  Not
at all.  It felt good, damn good.  It felt so right somehow to once again
have a burning cigarette between her lips.  It felt wonderful to be smoking,
to feel smoke being pulled down into her impatient lungs.  Whether or not it
was bad for her, all of a sudden that no longer mattered.  It just felt
incredibly good.  She held the smoke from her first inhale deep down in her
chest as long as she could, allowing it to luxuriously soak into her lungs
and willingly permitting it to start quenching her newfound craving for
nicotine.

   Amanda knew now.  God, she'd been so dumb!  That was exactly what had
happened to her.  She'd developed a real, honest to God craving for the
nicotine that these cigarettes delivered.  She craved nicotine now.  No other
way to describe it.  The feeling was real, and powerful, too.  She wanted
nicotine and she wanted it bad.  She no longer cared if it was smart or
stupid to want it.  She just did.  She desperately wanted to feed herself
more and more nicotine.  Hell, she groaned, she might even need it, as scary
as that sounded.  Despite the conflicting thoughts raging inside her brain,
she simply couldn't resist.  So she hit on her cigarette (and it was indeed
undeniably her own damn cigarette) and fed herself more of the thing she
desired more than anything else at that moment.  She sucked smoke in her
lungs and willingly let the nicotine do its magic down there while she held
the smoke in.

   "God, I should've known this could happen," she groaned resignedly, smoke
squirting through her open lips.  "But I never thought it'd happen to me, or
that it could happen so fast."  Without stopping she repeated the exercise,
frantically drawing again on her Benson & Hedges 100 and pulling another load
of the full flavored smoke deep inside.  As it soaked into her lungs she
finally felt herself begin to relax.  With palpable relief she sighed, and
the ensuing smoky discharge floated before her face.  She still wasn't done,
though.  Another long drag and one more deep inhale followed.  "Oh yeah," she
whispered, letting out a blissful smoky moan.  "God, yeah, I'm finally
starting to feel better."

   She continued to smoke her cigarette furiously.  It wasn't till it was
almost done that she finally felt normal.  Crushing it out after a final
drag, she reluctantly released a last smoky exhale from her mouth and sighed.

   "Shit, this stupid smoking thing has really, really gotten to me, much
more than I ever thought it could," she complained aloud.  "I feel better
now, at last, but I know soon the same feelings will come back and I'll want
to smoke all over again.  Hell, I'll need to."  She shook her head.  "God, I
got to get control of myself.  I can't let this happen."

   Suddenly an idea occurred to her.  Amanda went to the kitchen and found
some chewing gum in a drawer.  "Maybe if I chew gum I won't think about
smoking," she decided hopefully, putting a stick in her mouth.  She bravely
returned to her computer to continue working on the manuscript outline.

   But she couldn't quit pondering what was happening to her.  The longer she
kept at this, she knew very well, the harder it'd become for her to finally
quit when Jodi was ready to throw in the towel.  Analyzing her state of mind
interminably, she knew she'd never be able to cut down the number of
cigarettes she smoked.  No, her prior experience already proved that her
craving for nicotine was continuing to grow in intensity.  The momentary
relief she felt each time she indulged merely put off an inevitable increase
in the power of the same cravings the next time.  Each cigarette she smoked
only tightened the noose around her neck.  Hell, she was already practically
powerless to resist the damn cravings.  If they kept getting stronger at the
same rate, before long she'd have no willpower at all left to fight them.

   But what could she do?  Shit, if she stopped smoking now Jodi would just
laugh at her and probably she'd refuse to ever quit.  No, she had to keep
going, for Jodi's sake if for no other reason, so Jodi could taste the
consequences.  Keeping on for two more days would make it lots harder for her
to quit.  But she could handle that.  She could quit.  Hell, she could do
anything if it meant saving Jodi.  It didn't matter if she was getting
hooked.  Once Jodi was ready to give it up she'd figure out some way to do
the same, even if deep down she didn't want to.

   As those thoughts spun around inside her head, the clock was ticking and
her manuscript outline wasn't getting done.  Vainly she tried to pay
attention to her project, but she couldn't seem to come up with an approach
for her second book that made any sense.  The longer she stared in futility
at the damn computer screen while chewing her gum, the more only one thing,
one totally other thing, mesmerized her.  It was the fact that she wanted to
smoke again.

   She took the gum from her mouth and looked at her watch.  It was an hour
since her last cigarette.  She stood up and walked around to try and distract
herself.  No luck.  Only one thing was on her mind and it wasn't working on
the stupid manuscript.  It was working on her pack of Benson & Hedges 100's,
smoking another cigarette.  "Just one more," the temptation whispered.  "Of
course, after one more, there'll be another one more, and then another," it
teased mercilessly.

   It was no use.  She had to give in.  She couldn't resist anyway, so what
was the point?  That was just it.  Till Jodi was ready to quit smoking there
was no point.  So she might as well just give in and enjoy smoking till that
happened.  It meant quitting would eventually be more painful, but she
couldn't stand being miserable till then.  Shaking one solitary cigarette
from her fresh gold pack she gratefully slipped it between her trembling
lips.  Better to consolidate her misery and save it for the finish line that
was a couple days out in the future.  Till then she'd just enjoy doing what
she had to.  She clicked her lighter and lit up.  She took a powerful first
drag.  Yeah, she'd just enjoy smoking.

   And enjoy it she did.  The rest of the afternoon Amanda averaged three
cigarettes an hour and smoked them just like a real smoker, passionately and
fervently, repeatedly inhaling smoke deep inside and relishing the
indescribable stimulation from the nicotine her cigarettes provided.  Hell,
it was so easy and so goddamn pleasant.  Having given up resisting, she also
found herself working more efficiently on her manuscript outline.

   Jodi didn't come home at three thirty.  At first Amanda worried when she
didn't show up on time.  But then she remembered Jodi was meeting her dad
after school.  She kept working on her outline and looked forward to hearing
Jodi's report.

   At five thirty she heard the front door open.  "I'm in office, hon,"
Amanda called out.  "Come tell me all about it."

   Her daughter's smiling face appeared in the doorway.  "Hi, Mom.  Man, that
was interesting!  I can't wait to tell you."  Suddenly she noticed the
overflowing ashtray beside the keyboard.  "Oh my God," she gasped.  "Mom,
you've been smoking like a maniac!"

   Amanda pushed her chair back and let out a big sigh.  "Yeah, I know,
honey.  Look, I told you yesterday I wasn't kidding when I said it's getting
to me.  The longer I smoke the more I feel I want to.  It's scary."  She
nodded at the full ashtray.  "But this definitely proves I wasn't kidding
when I said it's getting under my skin.  I smoked about three cigarettes an
hour all of the goddamn afternoon."

   Jodi whistled.  "Oh my God.  But how do you feel about that?"

   "Honest?  I'm pretty upset."  But she grinned sheepishly.  "Needless to
say, though, the fact that I'm smoking like a nicotine addict should tell you
something.  I've never felt anything like the indescribable cravings I've had
all day.  I still feel them.  They're always there, growing inside of me in
intensity and power, constantly making me want to smoke more cigarettes."

   With a sigh Amanda reached for her half empty pack of Benson & Hedges.  "I
decided that till you're ready to quit with me I'm not gonna fight it
anymore."  She put a cigarette in her mouth and with a knowing look clicked
her lighter.  She took her customary vigorous first drag and sucked smoke in
her lungs.  "Oh God," she groaned in clear contentment, closing her eyes to
savor the moment while her cigarette dangled.  "Each time I do this I think
I'm gonna totally bliss out.  God, it's so damn nice."  She let out a
contented sigh.  Wisps of smoke escaped around her dangling Benson & Hedges.
"Yeah, so very, very nice!"

   Jodi didn't know what to say.  "God, Mom," she finally uttered.  "Either
you're a fabulous actress or you've already got yourself addicted.  I don't
know which is more unlikely."

   "It's no act, Jodi."  Amanda smiled contritely, hit on her B&H and
inhaled.  "No, it's the real deal; definitely the genuine article."  At last
removing the cigarette from her lips she began a reluctant exhale.  "I love
to smoke.  There, at last I said it!  God, I've been so afraid to admit it,
even to myself.  But it doesn't matter now; it's just so obviously true.
Yeah, I do love to smoke.  I can't deny it anymore.  God, the truth is, I
_adore_ smoking!"  Again the pretty blond sucked on her cigarette and
beckoned a deposit of the nicotine-filled substance deep into her ready
lungs.  "I don't know how these damn cravings crept up on me so fast.  It
doesn't matter, though.  I guess this means that till you finally decide you
want to quit, honey, I'll be just like you.  I'm afraid I'm gonna have to
keep smoking, a hell of a lot more than I ever would've thought."  She tilted
her head.  At long last she let an unending stream of smoke flow through her
open mouth.

   Jodi smiled.  "Mom, I'm not surprised.  I reacted to it exactly the same
way.  Smoking got to me in no time.  It happened so fast.  Before I knew it,
it seemed I always had to smoke another cigarette."  With no apology the
pretty teenager reached in her backpack and got her Marlboro Lights 100's.
In a second she had one in her mouth.  "We've got the same genes.  So you're
reacting to nicotine like I did."  She pointed to Amanda's lighter.  Her mom
understood.  She nodded and silently handed it over.  Jodi lit up her
cigarette.

   As the youngster took an opening drag, Amanda cocked her head.  "Well,
honey, if you're finally coming clean, tell me this.  You've been smoking a
hell of a lot longer than just two weeks, haven't you?"

   The petite brunette sheepishly nodded.  "Yeah, Mom, about six months,
actually.  But I didn't want to tell you.  I was afraid you'd be mad if you
knew the truth."

   Amanda hit pensively on her cigarette.  "Mad?  No, concerned is more like
it," she brooded, holding her inhale in her chest.  "But mad?  No, honey, not
mad."  Her exhale began and punctuated the rest of her response.  "Hell,
Jodi, I guess it doesn't matter how long you've been smoking.  Look at me.
I've only been doing it a few days and already I want to smoke all the time."
She shook her head in mock disgust.  "God, I've never experienced anything
like it."

   "But you like it, don't you, Mom?  Don't you?  I mean, that's the reason
you're upset.  It's because despite yourself you really like smoking."

   Amanda drew on her B&H.  "Yeah, you're right.  That's exactly the problem.
I do like it, way too much."  She pursed her lips and exhaled.  "I wish I
didn't but I do."

   Jodi grinned.  "Good for you, Mom.  Then finally you understand how _I_
feel.  God, I love to smoke.  I've felt this way for months.  But unlike you,
till now I could never just light up another cigarette if I felt like it.
Instead I had to wait, sneaking around like some criminal."  She dragged on
her Marlboro Light 100.  "I'm so glad you finally get it.  It's so cool."

   Amanda looked concerned.  "Yeah, but Jodi ??  Are you saying you're not
gonna quit?"

   "I didn't say that," the pretty teenager fibbed, releasing a cone of
smoke.  "I'm just glad you understand why I've felt so happy the last few
days.  At last I can smoke whenever I want for a change.  It's so great."
She tapped an ash in the ashtray.  "Now you understand how miserable I've
been hiding it from you all this time."

   "So, you _are_ still gonna quit with me?"

   Jodi hesitated.  So far her plan had worked to perfection.  But she needed
just a little more time to cement her mom's nicotine addiction so that Amanda
would neither want to, nor frankly be able to, quit smoking herself.  So she
smiled sweetly.  "Look, Mom.  I said I'd think seriously about quitting and I
will.  But please, give me at least a few more days of grace.  Let me enjoy
myself a little while.  Let me enjoy being a smoker.  You know what I mean."
She hit on her cigarette.  "The last few days have been a dream come true.
Quitting is gonna be agony.  So don't make me think about it yet.  Okay?"

   Amanda nodded.  "I understand, honey," she smiled, pausing to follow her
daughter's lead and drag on her cigarette.  "Today's Thursday.  How about if
Sunday night you and I sit down and plan how we're both gonna quit smoking on
Monday?  We'll do it next week.  Deal?"

   Jodi fudged.  "Okay, we can talk Sunday night," she conceded, careful not
to specifically agree to quit even then.  She smiled.  "Thanks for
understanding, Mom.  I'll really treasure the next few days, though, being
able to smoke whenever I feel like it."

   It was Amanda's turn to grin, though somewhat sheepishly.  "Believe me,
honey, I do understand."  She took a long drag on her B&H.  "Unfortunately I
know just how you feel!"

   The teenager watched her mom exhale a thin stream of smoke through parted
lips.  "And if it's torture for you, Mom, at least it's excruciatingly
pleasant torture."

   "That it is, Jodi.  That it is.  Now, you didn't tell me about your
meeting with Daddy."

   "Oh my God," the dark-haired teen gasped.  "That's right, I forgot.  It
was crazy, Mom.  Absolutely crazy."

   "So?  Tell me all about it," Amanda giggled with a conspiratorial whisper.
"I want to know everything the bastard said and did."

   Jodi tapped an ash in the ashtray.  After hitting on her cigarette she
began.  "Well, Daddy couldn't have been nicer.  I think he was genuinely glad
to see me," she said with a smoky grin.  "At first it was weird because I had
us meet at a coffee shop where we could smoke.  I felt nervous doing it in
front of him.  But right away he put me at ease.  He said he's glad I told
him I smoke and I shouldn't feel at all awkward doing it in front of him.
That helped.  So I got out a cigarette and he actually lit me up.  Then he
lit one for himself.  Man, that was weird," the teenager giggled.  "Seeing
Daddy smoke, I mean.  It must've been weird for him, too.  But pretty soon I
stopped thinking about it.  Smoking in front of Daddy began to seem almost
normal.  I think it did for both of us."

   Amanda nodded as she crushed her B&H in the ashtray.  Without realizing
she was doing so she promptly reached for yet another cigarette.  She slid it
between her lips.  "And?"

   Jodi suppressed a smile.  Her mom was smoking automatically.  Yes, she
sighed.  It was working just the way she wanted.  "Well, it turns out Daddy
threw Jaime out last week," she went on.  "You were right, Mom.  Jaime was
the one who got him to smoke.  I guess Jaime smoked for awhile.  When they
moved in together she nagged him into joining her."  She giggled.  "Daddy
didn't look like he felt too guilty now, though.  I guess he smokes a lot."

   Amanda released a long exhale.  "God, it's weird to think of your father
smoking," she said, shaking her head.  "But why did he throw Jaime out?"

   "He explained that.  Daddy said at first he found Jaime's wild and crazy
attitude toward life appealing.  But slowly he realized that she was totally
self-absorbed.  Everything was about her; about how Jaime felt, the things
Jaime wanted, and so on.  I guess after awhile it got to him.  So he finally
asked her to move out and she did."

   "I always knew Jaime was bad news," Amanda grumbled.  "I'm glad he finally
realized it himself."

   Jodi hit on her cigarette and crushed it in the ashtray.  It seemed
significant that her mom finished hers earlier and was already smoking a
second one.  Not to be outdone, Jodi reached for another one herself.  "Daddy
said the reason he never called me was because he felt too ashamed of what
he'd done.  But once he got rid of Jaime he decided he needed to make things
right again between us."  She paused to light up.  "The last year I've been
saying how much I hate him," she confessed.  "But today he sounded so humble
and so contrite.  I told him I'd love to start getting together with him
again."

   Amanda smiled bravely.  "Great, honey."  She hit extra hard on her B&H.
"Yeah, that'll be good for you."

   "But Dad also wants to see you, Mom."

   Amanda startled.  "God, why?"

   "He feels bad about what he did to you.  He knows it wasn't right.  He
didn't even try to excuse himself.  He doesn't expect you to forgive him or
anything.  But he did say he'd like to open the door for communication
between you again.  That's all."  She let out a big grin.  "He also asked how
you were doing on the sequel to 'Tasting the Consequences.'  I told him it
wasn't going too well.  Actually, I told him it's driving you fuckin' crazy."

   "Jodi!"

   "Relax, Mom," the teenager laughed.  "Daddy thought it was funny as hell
when I said it that way.  I don't think he minds me swearing as much as you
do."  She quietly manicured her cigarette in the ashtray.  "He's curious to
see you smoke, I think.  He said several times he simply couldn't imagine
it."

   Amanda was exhaling another thick stream.  "Jodi, I'll be honest.   It
doesn't bother me, either.  I'm getting used to you talking that way.  It's
not so bad.  After all, you're practically a grown up.  I guess I'm saying I
don't mind, either, honey.  So go ahead and talk however you want.  I don't
care."  She flashed her a guilty grin.  "Or maybe I should say I don't give a
shit," she laughed impertinently.  "You know, I've been swearing a hell of a
lot more myself the last few days.  Have you noticed?"  She blushed as he
daughter nodded.  "So, whatever.  Let's call a truce on the subject of
language.  From now on I'll say whatever I fuckin' want and I'll give you the
same damn latitude."  Having made her point, she paused for a long drag on
her cigarette.  "But yeah, I bet your dad thinks it'd be humorous as hell to
watch his wretched ex-wife struggling under the power of nicotine addiction."

   "Thanks for easing up on my swearing, Mom.  I appreciate it.  I just like
to say what I feel.  I have noticed you swearing more in front of me.  I kind
of like hearing you talk like that, to be honest.  Saying what you think is
good.  Speaking of that, I don't think that's what Daddy meant when he said
he'd like to see you smoke.  Daddy smokes a lot now.  I doubt he'd look down
on you or anything.  He's probably afraid you'll look down on him, that'll
you think he's a dufus because he smokes.  But I told him you won't.  I told
him you understand the attraction now and that never again will you look down
on anyone just because they smoke."

   "God, yeah, you're right about that," Amanda quickly agreed.  "No, I'll
never again mock anybody because they smoke.  Not after what I've
experienced."  She tapped an ash off in the ashtray and restored the
cigarette to her mouth.  "Yeah, I can comprehend the attraction of smoking
only too well."  With a guilty smile she sealed her lips over the filter and
drew long and hard on her cigarette.  "Even after we quit, never again will I
have that derisive attitude I used to toward smokers."  An exhale spurted
from her lips as she smiled awkwardly.  "So, is he going to call me or
something?"

   "Yep, I think so," Jodi confirmed.  "I told him I didn't think you'd mind.
Of course, I didn't promise that you won't bite his head off."  She giggled.
"I told him you were curious to see him smoking, too."

   "Oh fine, thanks a lot," Amanda protested, with a raise of her eyebrows
and a subtle shake of her head.  "I suppose I am a little curious, though I
still don't approve.  So, what's he gonna do?  Is Joe gonna suggest that he
and I become friends or something?  That'd be awful hard after all he put me
through.  After all he put _us_ through, I mean," she added sternly.

   "I don't know, Mom.  He didn't say."  That wasn't entirely true.  But her
father made Jodi promise not to telegraph anything about his intentions.  So
she just smiled.  "I think you'll find him very humbled, very willing to eat
crow, like you said last night."

   Amanda hit over and over on her cigarette.  "Well, he'll have to eat a
hell of a lot of it before I treat him like anything but an enemy," she
muttered angrily.  "But I'm glad you and he had a good talk.  You deserve a
real father, honey.  I'm glad he finally decided to act like one."

   "Me, too," Jodi grinned.  "Now if you don't mind I want to call Kate.  I
promised I'd let her know about my talk with Daddy."  And about your fabulous
smoking progress, she thought.  Kate'll be delighted to hear you've taken the
fuckin' bait; hook, line and sinker!

   Jodi talked to Kate and then she and Amanda ate a quiet supper.  Both
before and after dinner Amanda smoked like she had all afternoon.  Jodi was
delighted that her mom seemed incapable of not continuing to dip into her
newfound enchanted fountain of nicotine delights.

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