(by, 26 December 2007)

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Author's Note: The following is 85% true. Some names and facts have been 
changed to protect the innocent.. and the guilty. 


Thirty three-year-old Troy pulled up to Monica's house, and beeped the 
horn. He waited for three minutes and got out of the car. As usual she was 
running late. God why can't she ever be on time? He thought to himself. 

He banged on the door. Monica answered the door with a towel wrapped around 
her. "I just got out of the shower. I will be five minutes." She went into 
the bathroom. Troy sat down and turned on Sportscenter. He was upset. They 
were going to be late for the weekly poker tournament as usual. Every week 
it starts at 7. Monica is always ready to leave at seven. His frustration 
however was short lived as Monica came out 15 minutes later wearing a tight 
shirt that had her breasts popping out. Wow, Troy thought to himself. This 
was the night he had to tell her how hot he thought she was. Who cares that 
she is only 24. He had to tell her. 

"Ready to go?" Monica snapped Troy out of his trance. She grabbed her keys 
and pack of Marlboro Menthols. "I am driving." 

"OK." Troy walked out the door, with Monica locking the door behind her. 
They got into her Explorer and they drove off, with the clock on the dash 
reading 7:01. She immediately fired up her Marlboro, taking a double pump, 
exhaling through her nose. Troy immediately got rock hard watching her 
power through the cigarette as she sped down the road. 

"Is something wrong?" Troy asked. 

"My life is a mess." Monica replied, trying not to cry. 

"Let me guess." It was Bob. 

"I don't want to talk about it," and they drove the rest of the way in 
silence, Monica chaining into another cigarette. 

They arrived at the Italian-American club, where the tournament had already 
started. They went in, paid the $50 fee, and got their table assignments. 

"I am at table 1," Monica said. "Where are you?" 

"I am at table 13 upstairs." 

"Good luck, honey," and she kissed him on the cheek. 

"You, too." 

The tournament was going really well for Troy. He was getting a lot of 
chips. About an hour in, Monica came over to his table. "Wow! You are doing 

"How are you doing?" Troy asked. 

"I am out." 

"That sucks." 

"It's ok. You are going to win," and she rubbed his shoulders. 

Troy was indeed winning, and things were going great. The waitress came by 
and Troy said, "I will have a Coors Light. Monica what do you want?" 

"Just a coke." 

"No beer?" 

"I really shouldn't be drinking." Troy had a puzzled look on his face, but 
said nothing. Suddenly Monica's phone went off, and she got up. "I have to 
go outside to have a cigarette," she said and stormed off. Troy shook his 
head. Why does she deal with Bill? He always belittles her and treats her 
like garbage. 

Finally Monica came back as Troy was at the final table. He ended up 
winning the tournament, and $1100. Monica hugged Troy. "That is awesome," 
she said. 

"Yes it is. Where do you want to go to celebrate?" 

"I just want to go home - I don't feel good." 

They were on their way home when Monica suddenly sped up and pulled into 
the Sunoco station, almost crashing into the convenience store. "I have to 
throw up," she said, and ran out of the Explorer. Troy sat there for ten 
minutes wondering if he should go in to see if she was ok. Finally she came 
out, sat down in the explorer with a fresh pack of cigarettes and fired up 
another Marlboro Menthol. "Monica, are you pregnant?" 

"Yes," she stared crying. "Please don't tell anybody." 

"I won't." 

"And please don't lecture me about smoking." 

"Why would I do that? 

"Because I am pregnant." 

Troy decided to let everything out. "Please don't think I am a freak or 
anything, but I think a pregnant woman smoking is so hot." 

"Really? But you don't smoke." 

"I have to tell you I have always wanted to, but none of my friends do 
except you and I have never dated anyone who does either." 

"Wow," was all Monica could say as smoke poured out of her nostrils. 

Troy couldn't contain himself. "I always thought you were so hot, 
especially when you smoked. I have tried to tell you Bob is no good for you 
but you wouldn't listen. Now you are going to have a baby with him." 

"I don't know if I am going to keep the baby or not." 


"I have an idea," Monica said as they got out of the car. She led him by 
the hand into the house, up the stairs, and into her bedroom. Monica lit up 
and blew smoke into Troy's face. She could tell he was getting rock hard. 
They ended up making love and exchanging smoky kisses all night. Troy had 
no problem inhaling, Monica noticed. 

"You have smoked before." 

Troy blushed. 

"I am a closet smoker, but I want to be a heavy smoker. I want to smoke two 
packs a day." 

"That can be arranged. Let me show you how to double pump." 

Troy was in heaven. 


Monica ended up having an abortion. She waited three weeks though so she 
could smoke for Troy while pregnant. They ended up dating, Troy did indeed 
become a two pack a day smoker, and they ended up having a son together. 
Monica smoking throughout the pregnancy, There was no way she was going to 
quit, not with Troy smoking so much. Monica also told Troy about her cigar 
fetish and got Troy to smoke two cigars a day as well, inhaling every ounce 
of smoke. The two are currently extremely happy together. 

The End 

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