The Vacation (1996), Part 3

    This story, a sequel to "Lisa's Quest," contains adult language and sexual
themes. If you find such language or themes offensive, please do not continue
to read.


    THE VACATION

    3. Point of No Return.

    Lisa and her mom entered the restaurant right at noon. The hostess greeted
them. "Hello, Mrs. Robinson," she said, "how many today?"

    "There will be four of us, Susan," Sharon replied. "The other two will be
joining us shortly." She paused. "We'll need to sit in the smoking section
today."

    The hostess looked surprised. She stared at Lisa. Obviously Sharon often
ate lunch at this restaurant, but never asked for a table in the smoking
section. "No problem," the hostess smiled, "just follow me."

    Rene and Lisa had arrived at Sharon's office an hour ago. Sharon
introduced Rene to Michelle, one of the lawyers for whom Sharon worked. They
hit it off right away. Sharon was right guessing they'd have much in common.
Michelle gave Rene a tour of the firm's library, so Sharon suggested she and
Lisa go on to lunch. Michelle would bring Rene with her when they finished.

    "You don't sit in the smoking section often, Mom?" Lisa teased as they sat
at a table in the back of the restaurant. The tables around them were occupied
by downtown workers eager to smoke during the lunch hour. Smoke hung heavy in
the air while Lisa and Sharon positioned themselves at their table.

    Sharon smiled at her daughter. "No, Lisa," she began, "I don't usually sit
here. But go ahead and smoke if you want," she continued. "You must be ready
for a cigarette by now."

    Lisa smiled and opened her cigarette case. Her mom was right. Smelling the
smoke in the air around them intensified Lisa's hunger for a cigarette. She
was ready to light up. As she flicked her lighter and felt the cool,
refreshing mentholated smoke fill her lungs for the first time in more than an
hour, Lisa focused on holding the treasure inside as long as she could.
Finally she released an exhale that seemed to last for at least ten seconds.
God, Lisa thought, that feels really good!

    "Lisa," Sharon interrupted, "can I ask you a question?

    "Sure, Mom," Lisa replied, smoke still escaping from her mouth and nose.

    "Did you know that I used to smoke, too?" Sharon said calmly.

    Lisa looked at her mother in disbelief. "You, Mom?" she gasped. "No, I
never knew you smoked. When was that?"

    Sharon toyed nervously with her napkin, finally resting it on her lap. She
seemed tense. "Over twenty years ago, before I knew your father," she said
slowly. "When I was in high school and for a while afterwards, before I met
your dad. My best friends from school smoked; they dared me to try it. So I
did. Grandma and Grandpa never knew, but I smoked regularly for almost two
years."

    Lisa took another drag on her Salem. "No kidding?" she responded. "How
much?"

    "No, dear, no kidding!" Sharon looked at the floor and shook her head.
"Almost a pack a day by the time I quit."

    Lisa exhaled a plume of smoke into the air away from her mom. She was
amazed at this revelation. "So, Mom," she asked, "what happened? Why did you
quit?"

    Sharon now began playing with her silverware on the table. She seemed too
embarrassed to look at Lisa. "I don't know," she went on. "When I was 18 I
moved in with a girl who didn't smoke. I wanted to room with her because of
the social group she was in. She insisted I had to quit if we were going to
live together. So I did. Then I met your father," Sharon concluded, "and the
rest, as they say, is history."

    "Wow," Lisa exclaimed, "I had no idea." Lisa paused. "Does Dad know you
used to smoke?"

    Sharon smiled weakly. "I don't think so, dear," she admitted, "and I've
never told him. I don't think he'd be very happy if he knew."

    Lisa smiled. Don't be too sure about that, Mom, she thought to herself.
Lisa took another drag on her Salem and tapped some ashes into the ashtray.
"Tell me this, Mom," she continued, "do you ever miss it?"

    Sharon looked at the floor. "To be honest with you, I never thought about
missing it until I saw you smoking. You obviously enjoy it. I can tell by your
expression when you light up a cigarette, and by the look on your face when
you inhale the smoke into your lungs. It's almost like watching someone go
through a religious experience."

    Lisa blushed. She hadn't realized her passionate love for tobacco was so
transparent to others. She looked at her mother. "But you didn't answer my
question, Mom," she asked again. "Do you miss it?"

    Sharon looked at the floor again. "I know I didn't answer you," she
admitted. She lifted her eyes and looked at her daughter. "Yes, Lisa," she
continued, "to be honest, I guess I do miss it. Especially seeing you smoking
and enjoying it so. It's like looking at a picture of myself twenty years ago.
The same blond hair, and the same cheek-hollowing drags. God, I used to love
to smoke. I know it's not good for you, and I'm glad I quit. But honestly, I'm
a little jealous watching you smoke."

    My God, Lisa thought, I can't believe this. My own mother saying she'd
like to have a cigarette with me!

    Lisa took a last hit on her Salem and crushed it in the ashtray. Still no
sight of Rene and Michelle. Lisa was inclined to smoke one more. Turning her
attention back to her mother, she decided to approach the issue head-on.

    "Mom," Lisa said quietly, "Obviously, I was wrong when I said yesterday
that you couldn't understand how much I like smoking. You do understand, don't
you?"

    Sharon slowly nodded her head. She looked embarrassed, but she didn't deny
it.

    Lisa pulled another Salem from her cigarette case. "So," she continued in
an upbeat tone, "why don't you just have one with me right now?" Lisa
surprised herself with her boldness. But, she reasoned, unless Mom wanted one,
why would bring up the subject this way? Lisa held her unlit cigarette between
her fingers while waiting for Sharon's answer.

    Her mother looked surprised. "Oh, Lisa," Sharon stuttered, "I didn't mean
. . . . Oh, I couldn't possibly do that."

    Lisa didn't react, except to finally light the cigarette. This time,
however, Lisa exhaled directly across the table toward her mother. Sharon
didn't move, allowing the smoke to come to rest in a cloud around her head. It
almost seemed as if her mother were glad to be breathing the smoke surrounding
her.

    "What I mean is, Lisa," Sharon finally went on, "it's been over twenty
years since I smoked a cigarette. Yes, I'm a bit jealous, but I couldn't
possible smoke, not even one. If I smoked a cigarette I'd want another, and
then another, and then pretty soon I'd be hooked all over again."

    Lisa smiled as she inhaled another drag into her lungs. "I know, Mom," she
said as she held the smoke inside, "you'd want to smoke all the time again.
Wouldn't you? And you're worried about what Dad would say, aren't you?" Once
again Lisa exhaled toward her mother. And once again Sharon didn't avoid the
barrage of cigarette smoke coming her way, but she continued to verbally
refuse Lisa's invitation.

    "I am worried, that's right," Sharon agreed. "Your father would have a
cow. You know how he hates smoking! It would shake him to the foundations,
believe me."

    Lisa gave her mother an amused look. "You're right about that, Mom," Lisa
replied. "It would surprise and shake him to the core." She'd promised her
father not to say anything about his fetish to her mother. "But you might be
surprised how open-minded Dad can be," Lisa continued. "By the end of our
little talk yesterday, he was actually very understanding and supportive of me
smoking."

    Sharon looked at Lisa in initial disbelief. It was true Don failed to
explode in the way she'd expected last night. Lisa was right; he did say some
things during dinner which appeared positive, very accepting and
non-judgmental about the girls smoking. But still, Sharon thought, if she
herself were to start smoking! Oh God, Don would . . . . "I don't know,"
Sharon said aloud, weakening visibly, "I don't know."

    "Mom," Lisa interrupted, "trust me. If you want to smoke again, just have
one! Right now! Right here! Damn it, for once do something because you want
to, not because of what Dad might think! You might be surprised at his
reaction."

    Sharon seemed paralyzed, like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming
automobile. She didn't move or react. God, Lisa thought, she really wants to
smoke a cigarette. I can't believe it! I'm going to have to help her.

    Lisa extended her hand, holding the lit cigarette toward Sharon. "Here,
Mom," she said quietly, "take it and have a puff. Go ahead! It won't bite!"
She waited but Sharon didn't move. "Mom, I dare you," added Lisa.

    Her mom shook her head. "No, I can't," she blurted out. "I mean, I
shouldn't. That is, I'd like to, sure, but . . . ."

    "Mom," Lisa interrupted again, "for God's sake, get it over with! It
smells good, doesn't it? You know you're going to do it. You want it. So admit
it to yourself, take a puff of the damn cigarette and get it over with!"

    Hesitantly at first, Sharon reached for the cigarette in Lisa's hand.
Taking it from her daughter, for a moment Sharon looked spellbound at the
burning cylinder between her fingers.

    "Lisa, I've never wanted anything so much in my entire life," Sharon
whispered with emotion. "God, I've thought constantly about doing this since
seeing you smoke this weekend. Shit, it has been so damn long since I've done
this! But you're right; I do want it." Slowly, deliberately, Sharon raised the
cigarette to her lips and took a puff.

    Lisa looked on while her mother applied suction to the filter and filled
her mouth with smoke. Wow, Lisa realized as Sharon dragged on the Salem for
several seconds, she's talking dirty, too. Pleased at seeing her mother's feet
of clay, Lisa smiled to herself as she watched.

    Pleasant memories flooded over her as Sharon felt the taste of tobacco in
her mouth for the first time in twenty years. Instinctively she immediately
inhaled the smoke. The force of the foreign element hitting her lungs was
explosive. For a moment Sharon thought she would cough. But suddenly her lungs
remembered and recognized the smoke like a long lost friend. Sharon's chest
visibly expanded to welcome the cigarette smoke. Finally she allowed the smoke
to escape from her mouth, exhaling very slowly at first, and then more
forcefully, in a steady stream toward the ceiling.

    A look of relief and pleasure spread across Sharon's face. "Oh God,"
Sharon sighed finally, "that tastes great!"

    "It sure does, doesn't it, Mom?" answered Lisa. She was delighted to see
her mother enjoy that first drag.

    Sharon started to hand the cigarette back to her daughter, but Lisa waved
her off. "Go ahead, finish it, Mom," she grinned wickedly. "You probably
should try a few more puffs, just to see whether you still like smoking!" Like
hell, Lisa thought. From the satisfied look on her mother's face, Lisa guessed
that a couple more puffs would be all it would take.

    Without argument Sharon's cigarette returned to her lips. "Okay," she said
simply. Sharon took a second drag. This puff was much harder, and longer, than
the first one. Once again Sharon inhaled the smoke. Her chest again expanded
to receive the smoke. The intensified look of pleasure on Sharon's face was
unmistakable. She loved it!

    As her second exhale began, Sharon seemed almost giddy. Lisa lit up a
cigarette of her own, to join her mother by smoking with her. Sharon noticed
Lisa light up and smiled. She knew this meant she couldn't give her cigarette
back to her daughter. "Oh shit," Sharon exclaimed with a giggle as the last of
the smoke escaped from her mouth, "I guess maybe I will finish this cigarette
after all. Just this one. God, it tastes so good!"

    After a third drag, Sharon tapped some ashes into the ashtray. "Lisa," she
began, "I'm so embarrassed. I've been thinking about this since Saturday.
Something exploded inside my brain when I saw you smoke, remembering how much
I enjoyed smoking when I was a kid. I couldn't stop imagining what it would be
like to smoke again. I even dreamed about smoking cigarettes last night. But I
was afraid to tell you; afraid because I knew what would happen if I told
you."

    Sharon looked at the burning cigarette between her fingers. "What I mean
is, I knew I'd want to smoke a cigarette with you." She took another quick
drag and inhaled. "And I knew if I did, it'd be over! I'd never want to quit.
It was hell quitting the first time twenty years ago. I never wanted to go
through that again. But God," Sharon concluded as she finally exhaled some of
the smoke she'd inhaled, "this cigarette tastes so damn good I can hardly
stand it! So now I don't know what I'm going to do!"

    Lisa listened silently to her mother, watching the smoke escape from
Sharon's mouth as she talked. The emotion of the moment was underscored for
Lisa by the fact that Sharon had sworn several times; her mother, the
church-lady who never used profanity of any kind! Her mother's face looked
like that of a drowning woman who'd finally found a life-jacket. Sharon held
the cigarette like it was made of pure gold. Lisa smiled before responding.
This had been building up inside her mom for a long time. Seeing her daughter
smoke merely permitted her own desires to crystallize.

    "Mom," Lisa said softly, "there's nothing to be ashamed of. Smoking is not
a crime. Some of the most famous women in the world smoke all the time. If you
want to smoke, then smoke! Look, your favorite actors and actresses smoke.
Winona Ryder, Arnold Schwartzenager, Sharon Stone, Tom Berenger, Michael
Douglas, Annette Bening. The list goes on and on. If you want to smoke, then
smoke. Dad will adjust. Trust me. I'm sure of it."

    Sharon crushed her first cigarette in twenty years into the ashtray. She
grinned like a school girl. "Actually," she admitted, "I feel a little light
headed. Like I'm sixteen again." She laughed. "Thanks, Lisa," she went on, "I
appreciate your reassurance. But it's not that easy. I'll have to think about
it. But I enjoyed smoking one cigarette with you."

    Before Lisa could argue, Lisa and Michelle walked up to the table. "Sorry
we were so long," Michelle apologized breathlessly, "but I got an emergency
phone call before we were going to leave. Hope you didn't mind waiting for us
for lunch."

    Sharon's boss was thirty years old, of medium build, professionally
dressed and reasonably attractive. Lisa looked at Michelle and smiled. "No
problem at all," she assured her, "we were just sitting her smoking, that's
all."

    Michelle opened her purse. "God," she sighed, "I could use a cigarette
myself." Michelle set a pack of Virginia Slims Menthol Lights on the table.
"Sharon, I know Rene and Lisa both smoke. So is it okay if I smoke, too? Will
it bother you?"

    Sharon looked embarrassed and smiled at her boss. "No, Michelle, but
thanks for asking." She watched as Michelle lit up a long, slim cigarette and
exhaled the smoke away from her. Not to be denied, Lisa and Rene both lit up
at the same time.

    The smoke drifted toward Sharon. Sharon wondered whether she could stand
not smoking another cigarette. God, she thought, it smells so good, so
inviting. Sharon deliberately put her hands under the table, as if to avoid
the temptation to pick up Michelle's cigarettes and remove one for herself.

    Lisa watched her mother with amusement. She knew very well what her mother
was thinking. To increase the temptation, Lisa repeatedly exhaled her smoke
directly towards her mother.

    Sharon glared at Lisa; she knew what Lisa was doing to her and it was not
helping the situation, Sharon wanted to say. Finally, Sharon could stand it no
longer. She turned toward Michelle. "Actually, Michelle," she said casually ,
"I wondered if I could bum a cigarette."

    No one said anything for several moments. Michelle looked astonished. So
did Rene. Lisa fought a strong urge to laugh aloud. Finally Michelle answered.
"Of course, Sharon," she gasped while handing her the pack of Virginia Slims,
"but I didn't know you smoked."

    Sharon removed a cigarette from the box and put it between her lips. She
waited while Michelle picked up her lighter and handed it to her. Sharon lit
the cigarette herself. "Thank you, Michelle," Sharon replied with the Slim
resting between her lips. She took a second drag, pulled the smoke in, and
then exhaled a bit of smoke from the side of her mouth. She then took a third
big drag and removed the cigarette from her mouth.

    "Actually," Sharon said matter-of-factly as she inhaled, "I haven't smoked
for over twenty years. But I started again recently." She paused to exhale a
large cloud of inhaled smoke to the astonishment of Rene and Michelle. "Very
recently," Sharon continued. "Okay, actually just ten minutes ago," she
concluded, winking at her daughter. "But anyway, I guess I'm a smoker again."

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    After lunch, Sharon chatted with Lisa and Rene while walking back to the
office. Sharon smoked three more cigarettes during the lunch hour and
thoroughly enjoyed each one. However, Lisa knew she was still concerned about
what Don would say if he knew she was smoking. Sharon said she'd keep a low
profile initially. "I think, Lisa," she offered, "I'll just keep it secret for
at least a few days. I can hide it easily enough for awhile."

    "That's fine, Mom," Lisa agreed. "I've got an idea as to how you can tell
Dad. Believe me, he won't be upset. We've just need to make sure we present it
in the best light."

    "Whatever you say, Lisa," her mom smiled. Then Sharon paused. "But Lisa,"
she went on, "what about the health risks? I'm worried about that, too. What
do you think? Should I really start smoking again? Is this really stupid?"
Sharon seemed torn between her desires and her common sense.

    Lisa looked at her mother. At first she didn't know what to say. "Well,
Mom," Lisa finally replied, "look at it this way. You're forty-two, right?"
Sharon nodded her head. "And the health risks of smoking are mostly
cumulative, right?" Sharon nodded again. "Most people who start as teenagers
don't experience any problems until their fifties or sixties at the earliest,
right?" Once again Sharon agreed. "Well, that means you've got forty years
before you need to worry about it, doesn't it? You'll be eighty-two! And where
do you think medical science will be in forty years?" Lisa asked. "If I were
you, I wouldn't worry too much! Like I said before; if you want to smoke, then
smoke!"

    Sharon looked at her daughter. "I never thought about it that way before."
She smiled at Lisa. "Honey, you're great! It may be rationalization, but I'll
take it!" Sharon looked at her watch. "Hey, I've got to get back to work, but
let's talk about your plan to let your father know as soon as possible. Maybe
I can call you sometime at the hotel." Sharon waved good-bye as she entered
her office building. It was 1:15 p.m., and she was late.

    Lisa waved back as she and Rene parted company with her mom. Lisa felt a
bit like a traitor. She'd contributed to her mom's return to cigarette smoking
after twenty years of abstinence. Lisa enjoyed smoking and she knew her mother
enjoyed it, too. Even so, she felt a bit guilty. As her discomfort grew, Lisa
knew what to do about it.

    "Hey, Rene," Lisa asked, "what do you say we stop for a cup of coffee and
another cigarette before leaving downtown. Right now I'll feel a lot better if
I can smoke."

Previous part | Next part