Viki

(by anonymous, 10 June 1999)


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Viki

We had arranged to meet a group of girls through a mutual friend. It was nine
o' clock one Saturday night in one of the UKs biggest cities. I was with a
few mates, we'd just had a few drinks and were ready to meet our new friends.
The girls appeared, and we stumbled through the usual meeting people for the
first time routine. There was a girl called Emma, one called Anne-Marie who
was with her sister - Viki. We headed off to a bar, got our drinks, and began
to chat.

Almost simultaneously, all of the girls pulled out their cigarettes for the
first time. I was sat next to Viki who was 18 at the time. At 5' 8", she had
long dark hair, big blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. She was weaing a
tight-black top and skin-tight pvc trousers. She spoke softly and giggled.

She clutched her packet of 20 Silk Cut and began to panic when she realised
she only had a few left. She vowed to get some more later. In the meantime,
she lit up a cigarette and sucked so hard - like I've never seen before, and
bellowed out the smoke in a straight line - almost like she was so relieved
to be having that drag, like it was the last cigarette in the world. After
she exhaled, she coughed. She coughed frequently - it was a little smokers
cough, and you could hear the smoke on her chest. She breathed heavily. She
was a heavy smoker.

By the end of the night she had chained smoked her way through over 20
cigarettes, and I was looking at her third pack since I'd met her only two or
three hours earlier.

Caroline had to get a train back home, and while others grabbed a bite to eat
in a burger bar, I waited with Caroline at the train station. We chatted for
a while longer - she constantly referred to her smoking and her cigarettes
like they were the most important thing in her life. She'd say things like -
"I'm desperate for a fag" and  "Where have I put my fags?"

She lit-up again, and I was transfixed. We were sat close together. She
turned to me and blew smoke in my face. I was nervous, I wanted to kiss her,
but I was trembling.

The others turned-up. The girls got their train and the boys grabbed a cab. I
spoke to her the next day, and I saw her frequently for a long-time. We're
still friends to this day.

As I got to know her better, I began to ask her questions about her smoking.
She told me that she wanted to give up eventually- but not now because she
enjoy's it so much. I went to her house one night and she told me how she'd
been revising for her exams all day. She smoked 20 in a morning, and had to
go the shop to buy more - she was short of cash and so had to buy a cheap
brand - but she didn't mind, just as long as she could smoke.

We went for dinner one night. She lit-up as soon as she had finished eating,
she offered me one but I declined. She looked at me like I was from another
planet, "you don't smoke after dinner?" she asked.

She went to Singapore recently. She showed me the pictures. Everyone of her
had her smoking or clutching her packet of 20.

I've moved away recently, so I don't see that much of her. But she's changed
her brand - Marlboro Red 100's. Her old brand wasn't doing anything for her.
She couldn't taste it any longer, she couldn't suck any harder. I speak to
her on the phone and she coughs a lot. And I can hear her sucking and
blowing.

I'll see her again soon.


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