What a drag!

(by Nick O'Teen, 04 December 1995)

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Date: Sun, 03 Dec 95 12:30:14 -0800
From: Nick O'Teen


	The two young girls in the restaurant finished eating, then
	each took a pack of cigarettes from  her purse.  The
short-haired brunette smoked Virginia Slims, while the pretty
green-eyed blonde opened a new pack of Pall Mall.  Neither girl could
have been older than about fifteen.
	"Would you like to try one of mine?" asked the blonde.  "I
don't know," her friend replied, "I've never tried those before."
	"These are great!  My mom brings them back from the States, and
	I love to smoke them.  They're unfiltered, and you can take
huge drags. Here, I'll light one for you."
	She took two Pall Mall cigarettes from their soft pack and
placed them together between her lips, then flicked her lighter
and lit both. Her cheeks hollowed as she pulled hard on the two
cigarettes, filling her mouth to capacity with the smoke. Then she
removed the cigarettes, parted her lips and sucked a large, white cloud
of smoke back into her mouth and lungs.  She passed one to her friend
while exhaling a long stream of smoke through pursed lips.
	Her friend took a tentative drag.  "These are strong,"  she
said.  "I guess I'm just used to smoking them 'cause I don't think they're
strong," replied the blonde.
	She then took a long drag and again pulled a huge ball of
dense, white smoke back into her mouth.  She exhaled through
her nose while drawing on the Pall Mall again, but this time she french
inhaled a long, thick stream of smoke. After the next deep drag she
french inhaled a cloud of smoke, let the remaining smoke drift from her
mouth and quickly pulled it back into her mouth. As she exhaled a long,
thick stream from her lips and nose, her friend exclaimed,"I don't know
how you do that, but it looks awesome!"
	"I learned to french inhale from watching my mom smoke. When I
was about seven, I'd sneak her cigarettes and practice smoking in front of
my mirror.  I'd fill my mouth with smoke, then let it drift
out while I'd try to inhale it up into my nose.  I learned to take
bigger and bigger drags, and got good at inhaling.  I loved to see the
cloud of smoke disappear into my nose.  By grade six I could inhale
more deeply than my mom.  I also learned to exhale through my nose, and
I really liked that.  One day as I sat before my mirror I let a dense
ball of smoke slowly emerge from my mouth, but rather than sucking it
quickly up into my nostrils as I usually did, I breathed in hard and
watched in amazement as the whole billowy whiteness disappeared back
into my mouth and down my throat. I thought that was so cool!  I had
found a new way to inhale.   I spent a lot of time in front of my
mirror  sucking dense clouds of smoke back into my mouth and watching
it pour from my nose in thick streams.
	My dad smokes a pipe, and he seems to enjoy it so much that I
wanted to try it. One day while my parents were out, I filled one of
his pipes with tobacco, went up to my room and lit it, puffing like
I've seen my dad do. I was amazed at how good it tasted, and how much
smoke you could draw from it.  I tried french inhaling a big drag, and
it was so mild and delicious I didn't even cough.  I exhaled the
largest stream of smoke I'd ever taken.  After a few more strong puffs
to get it going, I took a huge drag, parted my lips and blew softly.  A
huge, white ball of smoke emerged, hiding my whole mouth.  I sucked
hard, and the entire thick cloud was pulled back into my nose and
mouth.  I blew it all out of my nose in two long streams that seemed to
go on forever.  Right then I knew I wanted to smoke a pipe.  You can
get so much more smoke than from a cigarette, which suits me fine
because I like to inhale a lot of smoke.
	I pestered my parents into letting me smoke a pipe.  My mom
wasn't too keen, but my dad figured it'd be safer than cigarettes because you
don't inhale  pipe smoke. Hah!  Taking huge drags was the reason I wanted to
smoke a pipe.  So when I was about thirteen my dad bought me my first pipe
and a mild, aromatic pouch of tobacco.  He showed me how to light it and puff
gently on it, not knowing that I already knew how to smoke it.  I'd puff on it
when they were around, but when they weren't looking I'd deeply inhale as much
smoke as I could and exhale through my nose.
	I was the best smoker in our school.  Not even the boys could
inhale as well as me.  I used to enjoy having friends over after school
and teaching them how to smoke.  All the girls got pretty good at
french inhaling and drawing the smoke back into their mouths.  They
were amazed that I knew how to smoke a pipe, and they all wanted to try
it.  Now they all smoke pipes, and one girl even taught her little
sister how to drag on it.  Know what else I love to smoke?"
	"What?" inquired the brunette.  "Cigars,"  the pretty blonde
wistfully replied.  My dad occasionally smokes a cigar.  I used
to love watching him, and I adore the smell of cigar smoke.  Once when
I was fourteen I asked him for a puff, but he said cigars weren't for
girls.  I sat beside him, watching T.V and trying to breathe in the
smoke.  I couldn't wait to try smoking a cigar.
	One day after school, when I knew my mom would be out until
evening, I stopped at a smoke shop and bought a large Churchill cigar.
I told the guy at the counter it was a present for my dad.  When I got
home I was shaking with excitement.  I went up to my room, sat in front
of my mirror, placed the large cigar in my mouth and lit a match.  I
put the flame close to the end of the cigar and started puffing.  When
it was well lit I drew deeply on it and let the strong smoke drift out
of mouth.  It was delicious!  The cigar tasted as good as it smelled.
Gradually I tried inhaling it.  By the time I was half way through it I
was able to fill my mouth with cigar smoke, let it escape and draw the
thick smoke back into my mouth and nose.  I exhaled slowly and blew
huge smoke rings.  I smoked that first cigar down to a one inch butt,
and knew I'd be a permanent cigar smoker as well as smoking cigarettes
and a pipe.
	After the cigar I lit my pipe and inhaled great clouds of smoke
into my mouth.  I was in heaven with the smell of cigar smoke filling
my room and pipe smoke filling my lungs.  It's too bad cigars are so
expensive, because I can only afford one or two a week.  In between I
usually smoke cigarillos.  Have you ever tried one?"
	"No, I haven't, but I'm curious to see what they taste like,"
replied the brunette.
	"I'll light one, and if you like it we can share it," said the
blonde, slipping a long, thin, brown cigarillo from its cellophane
	She placed it between her lips, put the lighter flame to it and
puffed a few times.  She then drew deeply on it, parted her lips and
inhaled a thick, white ball of cigarillo smoke.  "Mmm...tastes so
good!" she exclaimed while exhaling through her nose and mouth.  "I
adore cigarillos.  Try it, but don't inhale at first.  Just draw the
smoke into your mouth and let it drift out like this."
	She drew deeply for several seconds, then removed the
cigarillo, parted her lips, and let the dense smoke drift slowly from her
mouth.  "See?  Now, you try it."
	The brunette took the cigarillo and drew a little smoke into
her mouth, then let it drift out as shown.  It tasted somewhat
strong and bitter.  "I'm not sure I like these.  Let me try inhaling."
	She took a short drag, but then coughed frantically.  She
handed the cigarillo back to the blonde, who in the meantime
had lit a Pall Mall.  The blonde held the cigarillo between her index
and second finger, and the cigarette between the second and third
finger. She put the cigarette to her lips and drew long and hard, then
sucked a cloud of smoke back into her mouth.  While exhaling through
her nose, she took a deep drag from the cigarillo and again drew in the
white smoke emerging from her parted lips.  Long twin streams of
cigarillo smoke poured from her nose as she inhaled the cigarette
again.  She alternated back and forth, drawing in the two different
smokes and exhaling through her nose. When a short stub was all that
remained of the long cigarillo, she held it between thumb and index
finger and took a deep drag, the end glowing bright orange.  A thick,
steady stream of smoke was french inhaled, then exhaled through her
nose as she puffed frantically on the tiny butt, sending great swirls
of smoke all around her.  A final drag was pulled back into her mouth
and exhaled very slowly from her nose as she rubbed the glowing
cigarillo butt into the ashtray.
	"Cigarillos are fantastic, once you learn to inhale them.  Once
I chain smoked a whole package of them."
	"I've never seen anyone so into smoking," said the brunette,
"and you're so good at it. You can smoke anything and take such big drags."
	"Well, thanks," replied the blonde. "Yeah, I really love to
smoke.  Hey, look at those two men sitting over at that table."
	"What about them?" "They're lighting up Arturo Fuente Churchills.  I
can tell by the band.  God, those are my favorites!  I'm going to ask them for
	The brunette was incredulous.  "You're kidding!  Haven't you
smoked enough?  You just finished a cigarillo, and you don't even know those
	"When it comes to cigars, I've never smoked enough, and there's
no harm in asking."
	With eager anticipation at the possibility of smoking a cigar, the
blonde walked over to the two men who were talking and puffing on their large
	She smiled coyly and said,"Excuse me, but do you think you
could spare me one of your cigars?"
	The men were taken aback at the request of this young, pretty
teenager.  One replied, "Don't you think you're too young to smoke, and
especially cigars?"
	"I've smoked since I was seven years old.  My parents let me
smoke, and I just adore Fuente cigars.  Of all the cigars I've tried, those
are my favorites."
	"You've smoked cigars before?" asked the shocked man.  "Lots of
times.  I smoke cigarettes and a pipe, too.  Please?  I'm dying for a good
	The men looked at one another, giggled awkwardly, and then one of them
slipped a cigar from his pocket humidor, clipped the end and passed it to the
girl.  "Would you like me to light it for you?" he asked.
	"Thank you so much!  Yes, would you please?" Holding the enormous,
brown cigar between two fingers she placed it into her mouth and leaned
forward to meet the waiting match flame.  She took big puffs until the cigar
was well lit, then she straightened up and pulled long and hard on the thick
cigar, her cheeks hollowing.  She removed it from her lips, which parted to
reveal a dense, white cloud of strong cigar smoke.  With a quick breath the
whole cloud slipped down her throat and into her lungs.  She exhaled through her
mouth and nose, and sighed with satisfaction.
	She thanked them again, then put the cigar in one corner of her
mouth and puffed deeply on it as she strolled back to her table, long
swirls of smoke leaving her mouth as she moved.  She sat down, pulled
strongly on the cigar, then removed it and let the thick smoke drift
out of her mouth.  The two men watched her in amazement.  She saw them
looking at her, so she took a deep drag and blew several thick, white
smoke rings in their direction.  Then she french inhaled a mouthful of
smoke, and held it in while she drew deeply on the cigar again.  She
opened her mouth widely and sucked in a giant cloud of smoke.  She
smiled at them as twin streams of cigar smoke poured from her
	"Can you beat that?" said one of the men to his friend.  "A
teenage girl smoking a cigar, and inhaling it yet.  She smokes better than
most men I know."
	Fifteen minutes later a long, grey ash had formed on her cigar. 
"I like to see how long I can make the ash before it falls off," she said to
her friend, as she continued puffing and dragging on her cigar.  She ignored the
disapproving stares of the people in the restaurant as she happily inhaled and
exhaled great clouds of cigar smoke.  When a short butt was all that remained,
she took several final puffs, french inhaled one last drag, then blew the
smoke from her nose as she extinguished the cigar butt in the ashtray.
"God, that was so good!" she exclaimed to the brunette.  "I hadn't
smoked a big cigar in about four or five days.  Wish I had another
	"What?" said her friend.  "You could smoke another one?"
	"Sure.  I could smoke cigars all day long.  Oh well, guess I'll
have to settle for my pipe."
	The two girls left the restaurant, a pipe clenched between the
blondes teeth as smoke poured from her nose and trailed behind her.

[this story has been reformatted]

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