Worth Sacrificing for, Part 3

This fictional account contains adult language and themes.  If such language
and themes offend you, please do not read further.  The persons and events
described in this work are purely fictional.  Any similarity to actual persons
or events is strictly coincidental.  Copyright 2001 by SSTORYMAN.  All rights
reserved.  Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this story in any form
and for any purpose as long as this notice is reproduced and no financial
remuneration is received, directly or indirectly, by the person reproducing
it.

WORTH SACRIFICING FOR


3.	Storm Clouds Gather, and a New Ally Appears.

   Jenny's new friends were wrong about one thing.  She couldn't join them
behind the building for another smoke break the next morning.  It was Friday
afternoon, and the next day was Saturday.  No one would be at work.  But
Monday, she mused, was a real possibility.  She liked smoking with Kandi.
Smoking with others was much more fun than smoking alone.

   The rest of Friday afternoon she felt dramatically reinvigorated.  Her
smoke break made a big difference.  She was no longer distracted and
preoccupied.  She felt incredibly focused and productive.  That nicotine
infusion was a work of pure magic.  She got lots done till her phone rang at
four thirty.  It was Valerie.

   "Hey, Jen, I heard through the grapevine that you went outside with the
smokers this afternoon.  I wondered why you didn't show up for our break down
in the cafeteria."

   "Oh, God!  Who told you?"

   "It doesn't matter," Valerie said.  "Actually, a girl in my department saw
you walk in with Kandi Keller.  I just put two and two together.  You were
smoking, weren't you?"

   At least none of the smokers ratted on me, she sighed.  "Yeah, I did go
outside today," she admitted.  "But frankly, Val, I don't think its any of
your goddamn business."

   "It sure is," came the reply.  "You're my friend, Jen.  We always take
breaks together.  But now you dump me, without warning, to be with them!"
Valerie put special emphasis on the last word.  It was clearly not meant as a
compliment.

   "God!  It's no big deal, Val.  We're still friends.  I just wanted to smoke
today.  That's all.  We still had lunch together, didn't we?"

   "Yeah, we did.  But I warned you about this.  Once you start smoking,
Jenny, you can't control it.  So now I suppose you'll be going outside all the
time."

   Jenny paused.  There was truth in Val's accusation, more than she wanted to
admit.  "Well, I haven't decided that," she lied.  But she wanted to make a
peace offering.  "Hey, what if you and I hang out tomorrow?  Let's have lunch
and go shopping.  What do you say?"

   Valerie paused.  "Okay, sure.  Yeah, I'd like to," she finally answered.
"Let's meet at Hoolihan's at the Southdale Mall at eleven thirty.  We can have
lunch and then shop afterwards."

   "Great," Jenny agreed.  "I'll look forward to it."

   Jenny hung up.  She liked Valerie's company.  But the phone call got her
thinking about something, something more than just eating and shopping with
her friend.  She began hatching a plan.  Valerie was pissed.  But Jenny really
liked smoking with Kandi.  It was a nice social thing to do.  Wouldn't it be
neat, she mused, if she convinced Valerie to smoke again?  The thought of
vivacious little Valerie reverting back to her former cigarette habit, getting
sucked back into smoking, was delicious.  A shiver of excitement ran up and
down her spine.  She wanted it to happen.  So she began plotting.

   She left the office at five thirty, as usual.  This time, though, she lit a
cigarette as soon as she got in her car, before she left the lot.  Kandi was
right.  She _had_ come out.  People at the office were already talking about
her.  But she didn't care, she decided.  She liked to smoke, and she
especially liked her new routine of smoking during the drive home every night.
It felt so pleasant to have a cigarette perched in her lips as she left the
employee lot!  As she pulled onto the main road, she sighed happily, watching
the smoke escape from her mouth and nostrils around her dangling cigarette.
Yes, it was great to be a smoker, and now a public smoker, too!

   Her smoking picked up momentum that night.  Home alone, she let her
new-found cravings guide her.  She lit up every thirty minutes or so all night
long.  Beyond a shadow of a doubt, she knew she was indeed a smoker now.  A
real smoker.  No ifs, ands or buts.  Kandi and Mike Conrad were right.  If
there was ever any question, the issue was now fully resolved.  She wanted to
smoke, Eric or no Eric.  And so, smoke she did!  That night she finished off a
full pack, and got a good start on her second pack of the day.  She loved
every minute of it.  "I love being a smoker," she reassured herself at one
point.  The words sounded magical.  "A smoker," she happily repeated out loud,
with a cigarette hanging from her smiling lips.  "I'm a smoker!"

   Around midnight Eric called from San Diego.  He was still on his business
trip.  Jenny was glad to hear his voice.  She missed him.  Being home alone
wasn't as nice as having her boyfriend's love and attention.  She decided to
tease and torment Eric a little.

   "I'm smoking, Eric," she sighed wistfully into the receiver.  "In fact,
tonight I've been smoking all night long.  Don't you wish you were here to
watch?"

   Eric moaned.  "Oh God, yes, Jenny, I do!  I'll be back Sunday morning.  We
can spend the day together.  Maybe I'll sleep over Sunday night, and we can
drive to work together Monday morning.  What would you think of that?"

   "God, I'd really like that," Jenny cooed.  "You know what?  I've been
smoking a lot more.  I really like it, baby.  I can't thank you enough for
introducing me to it.  It's the best."

   Eric moaned again involuntarily.  "Damn, Jen!  You're the most beautiful
woman in the whole fuckin' world.  But seeing you with a cigarette in your
mouth, well, it's unbelievably better than beautiful.  I'm so glad you enjoy
smoking."

   "Oh, don't worry.  I _am_ enjoying it.  All I want to do now is smoke.
Today I even went outside on my break with some of the other smokers.  A bunch
of us girls stood around smoking for fifteen minutes."  She decided not to
mention Mike Conrad.  "That cute blond from my department, Kandi Keller, was
one of 'em," she went on.  "God, Eric, I wish you'd been there to see us all
furiously puffing away on our cigarettes.  You'd have loved it!"

   There was complete silence.  Eric offered no response.  Finally he spoke
slowly and cautiously.  "Now, Jenny, be careful.  Don't let this get out of
hand."

   "What do you mean, Eric?  I thought you'd be happy I'm smoking more."

   "Oh, yeah, sure I am.  It's just that . . . .  Well, I just didn't think
you'd go public.  That's all.  I guess I never thought about you smoking
anywhere except with me."

   "But Eric honey," she countered.  Her voice grew edgy.  "You wanted me to
smoke.  You asked me to.  I think it's pretty shitty to complain just because
I like to smoke with my new friends."  She took a long drag on her Salem while
awaiting his response.

   "Baby, don't misunderstand.  I love you more than ever.  I'm ecstatic when
you smoke for me.  It's just that . . . .  Look, don't worry.  We'll talk
about it, and work out this whole messy business when I get back.  Look, I
gotta go.  I'll see you Sunday."

   The conversation ended abruptly.  It didn't end in a way Jenny expected.
She frowned as she hung up.  What the hell was wrong with that bastard?  For
God's sake, what was there to "work out"?  What was "messy" about her smoking?
She didn't get it.  But something bothered Eric, and that upset her.  She
chained into a second Salem as she replayed the conversation in her head.
Fuck!  Was he mad because she was enjoying smoking for its own sake, and not
just as a way to cater to his stupid fantasy?  Well, if he was, he was an
asshole!  She sighed and exhaled another thin stream of smoke through pursed
lips.  He was right about one thing, though.  They'd definitely have to talk
about this when he came back!

   Saturday Jenny woke up early.  She was excited.  She had a whole day to
herself, and she could smoke as much as she wanted and whenever she wanted,
too.  She luxuriously rolled over and grabbed her open pack of Salem Lights
100's from her nightstand.  The ashtray and pack of cigarettes on her bedside
table were now permanent fixtures in her bedroom.  Propping herself up on her
pillows, she lit up and powerfully double-pumped, savoring the deliciously
wonderful first drag of the day.  God, it tasted fantastic!  The morning
sunlight streamed through the windows, highlighting tendrils of blue-gray
smoke swirling around her.  She sighed and smiled.  She was incredibly happy.
And why not?  She was smoking!  Before getting out of bed, she had another
cigarette.  After all, why not?  This was her day, to do just as she pleased!
She chained into a second Salem and enjoyed each and every puff, because she,
Jenny King, was now a smoker!

   By the time she got to the mall to meet Valerie for lunch, she'd had eight
cigarettes.  As she got out of her Lexus and walked in to Hoolihan's, she felt
pleased with herself, and with her life in general.  Becoming a smoker was the
smartest thing she'd ever done.  Now she'd try to convince Valerie that she
should return to her old habit, the same lovely habit that she herself now so
enjoyed.

   She arrived at the restaurant first, but that wasn't a surprise.  Valerie
was always late.  Jenny asked for a table in the smoking section, and sat down
to wait.  She decided to adopt an "I don't fuckin' care what you think"
attitude, determined not to appear ashamed of her new life as a smoker.  With
a wry smile she strategically put her pack of Salem Lights 100's in the middle
of the table.  Sliding one out with her fingertips, just the way Charisse
first taught her, she put it in between her lips and lit up.

   Valerie showed up a few moments later.  She brusquely approached the table.
"Jen!  Oh my God!  I can't believe you're smoking!  What in the hell are you
thinking?"

   Jenny rolled her eyes.  "Val, I can't believe you're already complaining.
Shit!  You haven't been here ten seconds," she shot back.  She flashed a
sarcastic smile.  "You're right, though, Val.  I _am_ smoking.  You predicted
this'd happen if I smoked for Eric.  It happened just like you said.
Congratulations on being so smart.  You see, Val, I'm a smoker now.  There.  I
said it.  I admit it."  Her tone was defiant and uncompromising.  "It's who I
am, Val, baby, and I won't apologize, either.  From now on, when I eat out,
I'll be sitting in the smoking section enjoying my cigarettes.  That's the way
it'll be from this day forward.  So, deal with it!"

   Valerie sat down.  Her face was ashen.  "God, Jenny, I am so sorry."

   "Don't be," Jenny smiled.  She took a long drag on her cigarette and
inhaled the smoke deep inside.  "I've never been happier.  I like how smoking
makes me feel.  I feel really good."  She tipped her head to exhale a thin
stream of smoke up into the air.  "But you understand.  You know all about it,
don't you, Val?  You used to smoke," she teased.  "Don't you remember how good
it felt each time you lit up a cigarette?  It was fuckin' great, wasn't it?"

   Valerie shook her head.  "Yeah, you're right.  It was great.  But that's
not the point."

   "Oh, yes, Val.  It _is_ the point!  It's the whole point, the only point,
in fact.  Smoking makes me happy.  I don't know about you, kid, but I like
being happy.  If you're honest, Val, you'll admit I'm right.  Being happy is
what it's all about."

   "I don't know, Jen," Valerie countered, somewhat hesitantly.  "It's not
good for you."

   "Not good for me?  Why?  Because I might die someday?  Look, Val, I don't
mind dying in fifty years from some disease if it means I can really live now.
The saddest thing is to live without really living.  People make themselves
miserable giving up all the things they enjoy.  And why?  So they can add a
few more years to their pathetic, pleasureless lives!  What's the point of
living longer if you're not really living in the first place?  Can you answer
me that, Val?"

   "Look, no one can accuse me of leading a pleasureless life.  I love to
party.  You know that.  I'm proud of that.  I'm not one of those uptight
idiots you're referring to."

   Jenny smirked.  A perfect answer!  Yes, this was going just as she planned!

   "Exactly, Val.  You're not.  You know how to have a good time.  I've been
out with you many times.  At parties you have a dozen guys drooling over you.
You laugh and drink and party like a wild-woman.  That's my point.  You live
life the way it should be lived.  You have a good time.  So why in hell do you
deny yourself something you still really want?  Admit it.  Wouldn't you like
to smoke again?"

   Valerie shook her head.  "Jen, you're talking like a crazy woman."

   "Just answer the question, Valerie dear.  Yes or no?  Wouldn't you like to
smoke again?  You would, wouldn't you?  Be honest.  Wouldn't you find it
highly enjoyable?"

   Valerie hesitated.  "Yeah, sure I would, I suppose."  She smiled bitterly.
"Okay, yeah, I would enjoy it, damn it.  But that's not the issue.  I worked
too hard to quit to go back now.  Jen, are you trying to get me to join you in
this pathetic new nicotine addiction of yours?  Is that it?"

   Jenny smugly smiled.  "I'm just excited about smoking.  I love it.  And I
don't understand why someone as hedonistic as you are could just give it up.
I don't think I could ever do that."

   The waitress arrived to take their orders.  Jenny waved her off.  She
turned back to her petite brunette friend.

   "Tell me about the old Valerie, the smoker; the girl I never had the
privilege of knowing.  I want to hear all about her.  For example, what brand
did you smoke, Val?"

   "Marlboro Menthol Lights," she slowly admitted.  "The 100's.  I smoked a
lot, too.  When I quit, I was smoking a pack and a half to two packs a day,
every day, sometimes more."

   "You smoked menthol?  Just like me," Jenny mused thoughtfully.  "And you
were serious, too.  You smoked over a pack a day.  So, tell me, when did you
start, Val?"

   "In ninth grade," the lovely brunette sighed wistfully.  "I was fifteen
when I started sneaking my mom's cigarettes.  I wanted to try it.  I don't
know why, but it seemed cool.  The first few times I smoked I was scared
shitless.  I was sure I'd get caught, but I didn't.  Mom smoked, so it was
easy to get cigarettes whenever I wanted.  At the start I only smoked a few a
week, at home when no one was there.  Mom never noticed a few extra cigarette
butts in her ashtrays.  But one day I told Tina, my best friend, that I'd
started smoking.  I thought I was cool, so grown up, and I had to brag.  Tina
was excited.  She wanted to try it, too.  So one day after school I introduced
Tina to cigarettes.  Soon we were smoking together all the time.  My smoking
increased dramatically once I had a friend to smoke with."

   Jenny nodded.  For some reason, the story intrigued her.  She loved
imagining pretty little teenage Valerie Restelli furtively filching her mom's
cigarettes.

   "Soon I was stealing whole packs from Mom," Valerie went on.  "Tina and I
smoked together after school all the time.  By sophomore year I was smoking
five or six a day.  My dad got me a car, and I hung out with Tina and my other
friends.  It was easy to smoke more being away from the house with my friends.
Soon I was up to half a pack a day.  By the end of my sophomore year, my folks
finally figured out that I was smoking.  But it was too late.  I was hooked.
I told 'em if they tried to make me quit, I'd just ignore 'em and smoke
anyway.  There was no way I was quitting.  They backed down and let me smoke
at home after that.  By the time I left for college, I smoked a pack a day.
By my senior year in college, I was up to at least a pack and a half every
day, and often a lot more."

   Jenny smiled and nodded.  Her black-haired friend had been a serious
smoker.  That pleased her.  "So, what made you quit, Val?  Something happened.
What was it?"

   "I was dating this guy senior year in college.  Roger was a god," she said
dreamily.  "He was buff, and fuckin' great in bed.  But he didn't like me
smoking.  He started teasing me about it, but soon his little comments got
more pointed.  He urged me to quit, begged me, really, and told me it was bad
for me.  I wanted to make Roger happy.  So one day, spring semester, I quit.
Cold turkey.  And I haven't smoked since."

   "Wow!  Did Roger appreciate the sacrifice?"

   "At first, I thought so.  Roger was the first guy I wanted to get serious
with.  I thought we'd get married.  To celebrate my quitting he took me out
for a fancy dinner.  He bought me roses.  God, I was happy."  She frowned.
"Two weeks later I learned Roger, the supposedly perfect guy, was fucking my
best girlfriend.  He couldn't keep his goddamn dick in his pants, the
asshole!"

   "Then why didn't you start smoking again?  There was no more reason for you
to quit, was there?  Why didn't you go back to it?"

   Valerie shrugged.  "I don't know.  I felt like I'd accomplished something.
I mean, I worked _really_ hard to quit.  It was pure hell, but I did it.
After being clean a couple weeks, before I found out Roger was cheating on me,
I knew I could stay quit.  I mean, even though I always liked smoking, I had
no particular reason to start again, except to spite Roger.  I thought about
doing it, just to piss him off.  But I didn't.  I stayed quit."  She smiled
ruefully.  "But that's it.  That's my story.  There.  Are you happy?"

   The waitress returned, and this time the girls ordered.  Jenny lit up
another Salem as the conversation resumed.  "It's strange, Val.  You stopped
smoking for a guy who hated it, and I started smoking for a guy who loves it.
Don't you think that's weird?"

   Her brunette friend nodded.  "It's ironic, isn't it?"

   Jenny nodded.  "But here's what I think, Val.  We can't live our lives for
other people.  Eric and I had a fight last night on the phone when I told him
I smoked at the office.  I think he's pissed.  He only wants me to smoke for
him, as a special secret thing.  That infuriates me.  He can't control me.  If
he doesn't like who I am, then he's not the right guy.  Things are different;
now I like to smoke.  I smoke for me, not just for him anymore.  If he can't
handle that, well, then, he's an asshole.  You know what I mean?"

   "I'm not sure."

   Jenny took another puff and inhaled deeply.  She continued to talk while
she exhaled.  "I have to be who I am, for me.  And you need to be who you are,
Val, for yourself and no one else.  I've discovered I like to smoke."  She
giggled.  "Actually, that's too tame.  I don't just like it.  I _love_ it.
But if Eric can't handle that, well, then, fuck him!"

   Valerie smiled.  "But you're the girl who once said that some things are
worth sacrificing for.  You learned to smoke because Eric wanted you to.  If
he wants you to stop, the same principle should apply.  So, what's changed?"

   "Some accommodations I can make.  You know, like squeezing the toothpaste
tube from the bottom rather than the middle?  No big deal.  Originally I felt
learning to smoke would be no big deal.  I didn't mind doing it for him.  But
now I've discovered I really like it.  So I won't let Eric control how I think
about it anymore.  It's passed out of the zone where it was something I didn't
care about.  Before, I could take it or leave it.  But not anymore.  It's no
longer in the 'take it or leave it' category.  So I won't apologize for being
inflexible about it."  She frowned.  "Am I making sense?"

   "Yeah," Valerie nodded.  "You're saying you can change some things to make
another person happy, but you can't change everything.  Some things are too
important to compromise."

   "Exactly.  Maybe smoking wasn't that important to you, Val.  Maybe it
didn't matter.  If so, you made the right decision giving it up when Roger
asked.  I could never do that now.  If Eric wanted me to stop smoking in
public, I wouldn't.  I'm not sure I could, and I don't want to."

   Valerie furrowed her brow.  "Smoking was pretty important to me.  I loved
it.  At the time, I felt it was worth sacrificing.  But as it turned out, it
didn't get me what I wanted."

   It was time to turn up the heat.  "Val, let me ask another question.
"Would you like to have a cigarette?"  She smiled in response to a look of
horror on her brunette friend's pretty face.  "Be honest.  You used to smoke
menthols, and mine are menthol.  You could light up right here, right now.
Consider it one big 'fuck you!' to old Roger the asshole.  It'll be a
reaffirmation that Valerie Restelli will never again compromise about the
things that are important to her."

   Valerie laughed nervously; almost too nervously.  "God, you make it sound
so goddamned noble, Jenny.  Like I'd be a saint or something if I smoked a
cigarette."

   "I'll be honest, Val.  One of the things I like best about smoking is doing
it with my friends.  It was cool smoking with Kandi yesterday.  And it's fun
smoking with Charisse."

   "Charisse?  Charisse Jordan?  She smokes?  God!  You never told me!"

   "Oh, shit!  I wasn't supposed to let that slip.  No one knows.  Val, you
have to swear you'll never tell a soul."

   Valerie giggled.  "God, that's so funny.  Charisse Jordan, a smoker?  Wow!
I'd never have guessed.  I mean, she practically runs Sargon these days.  And
she smokes?"

   "Yeah, Charisse smokes.  But fuck Charisse.  That's not important.  The
real issue is, will Valerie Restelli smoke again?  Will you finally come back
and rejoin us smokers?"

   Valerie shook her head.  "You want me to, don't you?  You'd like me to
break down and smoke one of your fuckin' cigarettes.  Damn you, Jenny.  You
are sick, sicker than I thought."

   "No, I'm honest.  I like smoking with my friends.  Val, you're my best
girlfriend.  You admit that you loved being a smoker.  So all I'm saying is,
you should do what you really want to do.  You should smoke again.  It'll make
us both happy.  Won't it?  Am I wrong?"

   Valerie laughed.  "God, Jen, you've almost got me convinced.  I don't know
. . . ."

   Soon the waitress would bring the food.  She had to move fast and seize the
moment.  Valerie was teetering on the brink.  

   Jenny put her half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray and shook a fresh one
from her pack.  Placing the second Salem Light 100 in her mouth, she lit it
up.  After inhaling an initial drag, she turned it over in her hand and
offered it with a smile to her friend across the table.

   "Here.  Take this one, Val.  Smoke again.  Right now.  Do it for yourself,
and for me.  You deserve it.  Go ahead."

   Valerie shook her head 'no,' so Jenny raised her voice.  "Goddamn it, Val,
take it!  I mean it.  Right now!  Don't be an ass.  You want to smoke.  You
_know_ you do.  Imagine feeling some of this smoke deep inside your lungs.
Mmm.  It's so fuckin' nice!  Do yourself a favor.  Don't let this moment pass
you by.  You owe it to yourself.  C'mon.  It'll be great!"

   Valerie hesitated.  "No, Jenny," she moaned.  "I can't."

   "Yes, you can," she said firmly.  She wasn't about to back down.  "I want
you to, and you want to, too.  So take it!"

   For a moment, Valerie sat paralyzed, her eyes glued to the burning
cigarette being held out to her.  But finally, she relented.  In a swift
motion she took the Salem from Jenny and slipped it between her fingers.  A
shameless smile spread over her face.

   "You're a bitch, a bad girl, Jenny King, making me do this.  And God, I
can't fuckin' believe I'm going to.  But I _would_ really like to smoke, I
admit.  It drives me crazy to see you smoking, and obviously enjoying it so
much.  I'd love to join you, even if I shouldn't."

   "I'm no bitch," Jenny grinned, retrieving hers from the ashtray.  "Or a bad
girl, either.  I'm only helping you be true to yourself.  So go ahead, Val.
You're halfway there.  Put that tasty cigarette smack in-between those pretty
lips and take a nice, big, long drag.  You can almost taste it, can't you?
The smell of smoke is so wonderful.  Put it in your mouth.  You want it.  All
the deprivation of the last few years will soon be over.  Take a drag.  Do it
for me.  Please?"

   At last, Valerie did.  She put the Salem in her mouth and sealed her lips
around the filter.  Her face looked like an angel's as she hollowed her cheeks
and sucked.  The cherry end burned bright as she self-consciously dragged on
the burning cigarette.  She removed it from her mouth and inhaled the smoke
deep down inside her waiting lungs.

   She moaned ecstatically.  "Oh my God!  That _is_ nice!  Oh, shit!"  She
pursed her lips to slowly, reluctantly, exhale a thick stream of smoke into
the air between them.  "Oh, God!  I can't believe I'm doing this again, after
all this time!  I'm actually smoking!"

   "Yes, you are, Val.  And it's nice, isn't it?"

   "Oh God, yes!"  She returned it to her mouth for a second hit.  This one
lasted longer.  She pulled smoke deep inside her body once more, inundating
her delighted lungs with the thick, rich mentholated substance.  "God," she
laughed, almost beside herself with delight.  Smoke escaped from her smiling
mouth.  "I'm smoking.  Fuck!  I don't believe it!" The look on her face
conveyed both relief and satisfaction.

   Jenny smiled.  "Val, welcome back.  From the way you look right this
minute, I know you're back.  You're a smoker again.  And you're glad, too,
because you never really wanted to quit in the first place.  Now you'll never,
ever quit again.  Am I right?"

   Valerie shook her head uncertainly.  "Oh God, Jenny.  I don't know."  While
she spoke, smoke gushed from her mouth and nostrils.  Her smile contradicted
her ambivalent statement.  She was giddy with excitement.  "But it sure as
hell feels great to be smoking again," she admitted, still exhaling.  "That's
for sure!"

   At that moment the waitress brought their food.  Valerie hadn't finished
her cigarette.  Jenny waited to see what she'd do as the waitress retreated.
It was another moment of truth.

   "Jenny, go ahead and eat.  I want to finish my cigarette.  I've waited too
long for this moment to settle for only a few puffs."

   Jenny nodded.  Valerie didn't want to stop.  "Sure, that's fine," she
giggled.  "At home I sometimes smoke while I eat.  Some people find that
gross, but I like doing it, to be honest."

   Valerie giggled.  "My God!  In the old days I smoked and ate at the same
time."  Still holding her Salem, she put a french-fry in her mouth and began
chewing.  "If you don't mind, I'll eat while I finish this cigarette."

   It was Jenny's turn to laugh.  "I don't mind at all, Val.  Be my guest!"

   The girls smoked and ate together.  Jenny was delighted.  Her scheme worked
like a charm, better than she dreamed.  Valerie finished the first cigarette,
and had another one after lunch.  They both had a third while sharing a
dessert over coffee.  The petite brunette accepted each subsequent cigarette
with no hesitation.  Valerie clearly enjoyed smoking.  As she held her third
cigarette in her hand and munched on the shared piece of coconut cream pie,
Jenny asked Valerie what she intended to do.

   "God, I don't know," Val answered thoughtfully, examining the burning Salem
Light 100 in her fingers.  "Oh hell, who am I kidding?  We both know what I'll
do.  This is my third cigarette.  Smoking's not like a light switch, Jen.  I
can't turn it on and off.  It's either on, or it's not.  Based on how I feel
now, I'd say the light is 'on' again."  She giggled mischievously.  "Fuck!  I
suppose I'll go out and buy myself a pack."  She laughed again, louder this
time.  "Actually, I'll make it a carton.  There's no sense beating around the
bush, is there?  If I'm back, hell, then I'm back all the way!  And I'm
definitely back."  She returned the Salem to her mouth for another long,
deliberate drag.

   Jenny was overjoyed.  This was exactly the reaction she hoped for.  "God,
Val, that's great.  It sounds like we _will_ continue to take breaks
together," she smiled impishly.  "But from now, on we'll take them outside,
with Kandi and the other smokers.  Don't you think?"

   Valerie frowned and again stared at the cigarette in her hand.  "Yeah, I
suppose that'll happen," she sighed.  "I should be depressed, but to be
honest, it sounds nice.  Really nice."

   Jenny leaned over to spontaneously kiss her on the cheek.  "Now that you're
in, Val, it'll be lots more fun for me being a smoker.  I know you did it for
yourself, not me.  But I want you to know, it'll be great being smoking
buddies with you!  I'm really excited."

   "Yeah, me, too, I think," she smiled, hugging back.  She sighed deeply.
"Yeah, I admit it, I guess I'm glad to be smoking again, finally, after all
this time."

   They shopped for a couple hours, buying outfits and having a marvelous
time.  Finally Jenny suggested they stop for coffee.  Of course, it wasn't the
coffee she wanted.  She wanted to see Valerie smoke.  And though she didn't
say anything, Jenny was beginning to feel the cravings again.  She really felt
like she needed to smoke, and soon.  They found an outdoor café and ordered
coffee.  Immediately Jenny got out her cigarettes.  Instead of offering one to
Val, however, she waited to see if her petite friend would ask for one.  Jenny
lit up, and Valerie loudly cleared her throat.

   "Excuse me," she said in a peeved tone.  "Are you going to smoke alone?"

   Jenny smiled playfully.  "Oh!  I'm sorry.  Would you like one, Val?"

   She narrowed her eyes and glared.  "Jenny, you bitch!  You want me to beg,
don't you?"

   "What do you mean, Val?" Jenny asked innocently, purposely exhaling a thick
stream of smoke toward her friend.  She sighed happily.  "Oh my God, this
tastes so good!"

   Valerie scowled.  "C'mon, Jen, let me have one."  She didn't respond, and
Valerie grew more insistent.  "Damn it, I want a cigarette, too!"

   Jenny smiled and nonchalantly passed her pack across the table.  "Really?
Sure, have one."  Then she teased her. "I wasn't sure you'd want another.  You
were so enamored with quitting.  I didn't know if you'd want to keep smoking."

   "Yeah, right," Valerie replied, exasperated.  She quickly took a Salem from
the pack and put it in her mouth.  "I'm smoking again, Jen.  You know that.  I
can't stop now, and I don't want to."  She smiled naughtily.  "I'm not about
to let you have all the fun."

   Jenny handed over her lighter.  Valerie lit up.  The petite brunette took a
hard, first drag.  She pulled the smoke deep inside and paused, waiting for
the nicotine to hit her bloodstream.  "There, that's better," she sighed,
finally releasing a stream of smoke through her lips.

   Jenny laughed.  "I'm sorry, Val.  I just wanted to see if were serious;
about smoking, I mean.  That's all."

   Valerie hit hard on her cigarette.  "Fuck you, Jenny," she laughed, holding
smoke inside her lungs.  "You knew I was.  You just wanted to make me crawl.
Admit it."

   "Yeah, maybe I did.  I did want to hear you beg for a cigarette.  But I
promise, Val.  You'll never have to ask again.  Never."

   "That's right, I won't," Valerie agreed, finally exhaling the smoke from
deep within.  "Because next time I'll have my own pack."

   She laughed, and Jenny laughed with her.  Valerie had made her point.
Jenny sensed they'd be spending a lot of time together as smoking buddies from
then on.

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