Angie Enters Womanhood, Part 1

Angie Enters Womanhood

It happened two days before my twelveth birthday, two weeks into seventh
grade. I had gotten my hated braces off the day before, and I had decided
today was the day I would make my move.

I had a mad crush on Timmy Sullivan who was two years older and in the ninth
grade. I planned to talk to him after we got off the bus and invite him
over for pizza, since mom almost always got pizza on fridays.

The moment came and I followed him off the bus, but before I could talk to
him he started talking to Sheila Liebowitz, also a ninth grader.  Sheila was
a neighbor and had always been nice to me before.  She was really pretty and
always wore full make up, done perfectly with red lipstick, unlike the shades
of pink favored by the junior high crowd back then. I watched and kept my
distance as Sheila pulled out a pack of Tareyton 100's and lit one up like
she'd been doing it for years, but she had only taken up smoking in the sixth
grade.  She didn't even have to hide it since her mother had given her
permission at age thirteen.  All of which she'd told me months before, before
she'd gotten snooty with me.  I worked up my courage and approached them.

"Uhh, Timmy, would you like to come over my house for pizza?" I stammered out
real fast.

"No" he said and laughed! I felt my face start to burn and almost peed my
pants.

"Go home, little girl", Sheila said, and blew smoke in my face!  I turned and
walked away, determined not to cry in front of them, as I heard their
laughter behind me. When I turned into my driveway they couldn't see me
anymore with the greenery on both sides.  It was only then I busted out
crying, but sobbed silently and not until I reached the garage did I really
let go, sobbing, great jerking sobs.  Just then my mom came bursting out of
the door to the house and took me in her arms, consoling me like only a mother
can. She led me to the downstairs sofa and I cried bitter tears into her
busom.

Let me take a moment to tell you about my mom.  She was only 32 at the time
and truly beautiful.  Dad had left us a year ago but Mom said he left us
"well fixed", whatever that meant.  She worked a little as a make up artist.
She used to work for a modeling agency but left because it was too much
work, now she did weddings and bar mitzvahs and such.

Anyway, I finally calmed down enough to tell her what had happened.

Y'know honey," my mom said, "I've been agonizing over what to get you for
your birthday, but now I know.  No more kid stuff for you!  We're going to
the mall and I'm gonna buy you a designer handbag, and all kinds of stuff to
fill it! Like cosmetics! And a matching wallet with some serious dough in it!
AND... I'm gonna do your make up before we go! Make you look real glamorous,
you know what I can do!

"But," she said, " We've got to wait about a half hour to let those puffy red
eyes go down.  In the meantime, honey, well.  I think you're old enough
to smoke now."

You could have hit me with a shovel! The look of total shock
on my face made Mom laugh!

"Don't look so shocked, sweetie, I knew you'd start smoking sooner or later."
The truth was I'd wanted to try it for some time and was still working up the
nerve to steal one of Mom's Benson and Hedges100's and smoke it in the woods!
And now this!

"Now tell me the truth, honey, I won't be mad.  Have you tried smoking yet?"

"NO, no," I stammered, "Honest Mom, no, never!"

"It's alright baby, I believe you. but you wanted to, didn't you?"

"Well...."

"Well, I'm glad you're honest with me.  I'd much rather you started smoking
in front of me, with my permission, than stealing cigarettes from my pack and
smoking in the woods."

Damn! Could this woman read my mind? The next thing I know she was
holding out her pack and offering me a cigarette with a big smile on her
face! 

"Honey, you're gonna learn to love this, but probably not right away, it
takes some getting used to. Do you understand about inhaling?" I honestly
shook my head no. "Well, inhaling is the pleasure in smoking, if you don't
inhale, you're not really smoking.  All it is, is breathing the smoke in and
blowing it out again.  Simple, but at first it's gonna make you dizzy, maybe
even a little sick if you hit it too hard.  So start with little puffs that
you inhale, OK?" I couldn't believe my ears, my stomach was full of
butterflys and I felt wet between my legs. I was really going to smoke a
cigarette, and in front of my MOTHER!!!!!

"No honey, hold it like I do, between your fingers, that's it! Now put it in
your mouth and I'll light it for you." I did and she did, and I puffed on it
and made the tip glow like I'd seen her do a million times.. and sucked it in
and blew it right out. I was astounded! Smoke streaming out of my own mouth!
And then it hit me! My head *swooned*, and I was floating on air! I was dizzy
all right but I LOVED it! Mom lit up her own and watched me with what could
only be maternal pride. I kept on smoking and feeling so grown up! And *so*
dizzy, but not sick at all. I snuffed out my very first cigarette with the
feeling that life would never be the same.  I mean, I still dressed my barbi
dolls!

"Well honey, that was pretty good! Now let's get upstairs and get your
make up done". And an hour later it was! And how! I was now convinced my
mom was a genius! My freckles were gone, my eyes shone with black mascara,
and lips, at my request, glistened stop sign RED, not pink!

"Ready for another smoke, hot mama?" mom laughed.

"Why yass, dahling, I'm dying for one, doncha know!" And we both cracked up!

"OK honey, why don't you smoke by yourself in front of my make up mirror, you
can watch yourself!" And downstairs she went. I looked SO GROWN UP! I took a
cigarette from the pack mom left and posed holding it unlit.  Intoxicating!

Then I picked up the book of matches.  I had never lit a match before!  I'd
always been afraid of crazy kids who played with matches.  But this was
different. I was striking a match to light MY CIGARETTE!  Like a GROWN UP!
The match flared and I got it lit! I let it hang there, smoldering between my
ruby red lips, and I dragged and blew smoke like I'd been doing it for years
- and LOVED it! THANKS MOM! And what happened after that was even better!

END OF CHAPTER ONE

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