House of Cards, Part 4

    The following story is a sequel to "A Second Chance" (posted 19 January
1998). While it is not necessary to read "A Second Chance" before reading the
story below, it provides some background that may not be supplied below in
"House of Cards".

    Also, a special thanks to SSTORYMAN -- for providing me with the
motivation to keep going and all the help during the rigorous editing process.


    House of Cards - Part 4/5


    7. Third Rate Romance

    Friday morning, 8:30 am: "Mommy, get up, I'm going to be late for school,"
declared Kristen.

    Diane was still face down on the bed and wearing her clothes from last
night. She turned her head sideways and looked at the clock. "Oh m'God! Is Amy
up?"

    "Yes, mommy. I fixed us both Pop Tarts." Clearly there was distress in
Kristen's voice. Seeing Diane laying there still dressed with faded makeup and
rumpled hair scared her. Diane was usually up at 6:30 on school days and
always had breakfast waiting for her daughters.

    Diane launched herself from the bed and ran downstairs. Sitting at the
table was Amy, still munching on her breakfast pastry. She was partially
dressed in a mismatched outfit with one shoe missing.

    Amy greeted Diane. "Hi mommy. I got dressed all by myself this morning."
The little five-year-old gave Diane a grin that almost made her cry.

    Kristen was not amused. She was downright mad at Diane. "Mommy, we've
MISSED the bus I hope you know," she said in a disapproving tone. "Now you've
got to DRIVE us."

    "I know honey. First we've got to get your sister dressed."

    Amy spoke up, "But I AM dressed, mommy." She was serious.

    At 8:45, all three of them piled in the Jeep Cherokee and rushed to get
Kristen to her school first. "Mommy, the car smells like smoke. Yuck."

    "I know honey, I know." Diane had smoked the entire way home from the
restaurant last night and hadn't bothered lowering the window. What was I
thinking?

    Now the car reminded the kids that mommy was still smoking. "I'm going to
tell dad," Kristen threatened. "He said you quit smoking."

    Diane wanted to rebuke her for being so disrespectful this morning. But,
she thought, when did Steve tell the kids I quit smoking? We never discussed
that. "Kristen, please watch your tone of voice with me, young lady. You're
not....," Diane bit her lip. No, I'll keep my mouth shut. Steve and I need to
have a little talk when he gets in tonight though.

    After letting Kristen off at school and Amy off at her preschool, Diane
headed for home. The day had started out gray and now it looked as though it
could rain. God, I miss my Prozac, she thought. Apparently the drug did have a
slight affect on her, for she felt really down this morning. She wondered why
Dr. Al hadn't re-prescribed the drug that had at least kept her on an even
keel most of the time. Her thoughts drifted off to Steve and Ron and even
Linda. She felt sorry for Ron. He'd had an emotional struggle of his own over
the last five years and last night, she felt she could identify with him.

    Diane found her bed warm and inviting when she arrived home. She knew that
after dropping the kids off that there was no option other than to crawl under
the covers and sleep until she felt better. Why am I so tired all the time?
She knew the answer but pretended that it was just because she stayed out late
last night. Steve will be home tonight, were her last thoughts as she drifted
off into a deep slumber.
    ________________

    "I wish you wouldn't call him my 'shrink'", Diane protested hoping to stop
Steve's belittling of Dr. Al.

    "Okay, how'd your last appointment go with Dr. What's-his-name?" he asked
in a slow, exaggerated tone.

    Diane was sitting on one of the kitchen bar stools as Steve poured himself
a glass of Diet Coke. He had just gotten in and was still wearing most of his
uniform less the tie and jacket. Diane was wearing nothing but a black
nightshirt that extended down over her thighs and some skimpy underpants. It
was after 10 PM.

    "It went okay, I guess. Again, I did most of the talking. He's a good
listener."

    "Jeez, at $250 an hour, I think I could become a good listener too," he
said. Steve was showing Diane more and more that he thought these psychiatrist
visits were becoming a waste of time (and money).

    "That's not fair. You agreed that I could start seeing someone over
my...my depression. I've only been four times now."

    "And, the big question is, are you getting any better?" he said with
slight sarcasm as he closed the refrigerator door.

    Diane wanted to tell him to fuck off. After her long nap this afternoon,
she had felt better and wanted to welcome him home. She was hoping that he'd
come home tonight and they'd get close, maybe even make love. After all, it
had been months. But after this round of questioning and his crisp attitude,
she could tell he was not in the mood. So, instead, she got up and walked over
to the kitchen desk and took out a fresh pack of her Virginia Slims.

    Steve waited for a response to his question but realized that it wasn't
coming as he watched his wife light her cigarette. The kitchen remained quiet.
For the moment the only sound was of Diane as she exhaled her smoke. He
watched her take several more puffs then spoke, "So, how'd your day go?"

    Her day was the last thing he was interested in. Diane took another puff
on her cigarette, inhaled loudly enough for him to hear her and said rather
matter-of-factly, "I slept through most of it," then exhaled her smoke down at
the counter.

    "I see," was about all he could manage. Then it got quiet again.

    When they resumed eye contact, Diane very casually let slip out, "Steve,
when are we going to make love again? It's been something like four or five
months now, I'd say." She stunned herself. Even though the question was on her
mind, it just came out so quickly, without any thought or planning whatsoever.

    "Say what?"

    "You heard me. I think we need to be closer, to show each other some
affection. I miss that. I miss you." Diane was being sincere. She truly
believed that if he would give her more attention and not make her feel so
guilty about her life, then that would be half the battle of overcoming her
problem.

    Steve remained quiet. He understood that she was reaching out ever so
slightly yet he acted paralyzed.

    Diane took a last puff on her only half-finished cigarette and exhaled
away from his direction. She put it out in her ashtray and moved closer to
him. She suspected that the cigarette may have spoiled the mood between them
but leaned over and kissed him nonetheless. "I'm feeling better tonight honey.
I think I will actually beat this thing." She showed him a very vulnerable
smile. I'm hanging out on a limb, she thought as she hugged him tenderly.

    Steve's back grew rigid. She felt it. "You smell like smoke," he said.
Then he rose to head upstairs for bed.

    Diane was too furious to cry. She just felt something in their marriage
give way tonight, sort of like the snapping of a bone or a frayed rope parting
under heavy strain. She decided to sleep downstairs. Steve had already beaten
her to their bedroom.

    Goddamn him, she screamed to herself as she lay on top of the wiry sofa
bed listening to the night sounds outside the sliding glass door. It was now
midnight and Diane was very much awake and in tune with her senses. Even
though it was so clear to her that her smoking and Steve's racing was the real
wedge in their marriage, right now, she knew that she'd never quit smoking.
She also suspected that Steve would never give up his triathlon and he
certainly would never start smoking like Ron did. Ron was different. He had
changed. He seemed to know what he wanted now, unlike when they were
married...like finally asserting himself and coming out of the closet with his
smoking. She strongly suspected that he was smoking a little on his own when
they were married and that he was really wrestling with the way his fetish had
control over him. Linda only helped him face this fetish head-on; she didn't
start him smoking in the first place like he had told her. That's why, she
thought that he fell in love with Linda. Oh, and could Linda smoke! Ron loved
that stuff, it drove him crazy. God, I want a man that can love that stuff
too, she thought.

    Diane rolled over on her stomach and fetched a cigarette out of her pack
sitting on the table next to the sofa. She watched the tip glow in the dark
room with each long puff as she shifted her position back under the covers.
Her head was surrounded with pillows and she blew her smoke directly up
towards the ceiling. She reached down between her legs with her free hand and
slid two fingers under her panties. Oh, this feels good, she moaned, touching
her moist pussy. She really, really wanted someone to fuck her as she smoked.
    _________________

    It was a beautiful morning outside. A cold front had pushed through during
the night driving all of Friday's rain and humidity to the east making it a
cool, bright blue autumn day. Diane first opened her eyes at 8 o'clock then
dozed back asleep until 9 or so. She could her the girls upstairs bouncing
around while watching Saturday morning cartoons and suspected that Steve was
out on his usual long run with the guys (and girls, grrrr). Charlie was
standing at the glass door wagging his tail at her like he needed to go out.
No one's fed him either, as usual, she thought. "Come on Moosey, let's get you
something to eat." Diane headed up the stairs.

    She greeted Kristen and Amy who were in the process of eating their cereal
in front of the TV. "Oh mom," Kristen spoke up, "dad says to tell you he won't
be back 'til this afternoon."

    "Didn't he go out running this morning?" Diane asked.

    "He didn't say," answered Kristen never breaking her lock on the TV.

    "Was he in his running gear?"

    "I don't know, I don't think so," Kristen answered rather indifferently.

    "Kristen, what DID he say? Look at me."

    "I told you, I don't know, Mommy. He just said he was going to be back
this afternoon," the little girl answered mildly flustered.

    "Okay, fine, thank you," Diane said in a firm tone then turned to go up to
the master bedroom.

    Steve's Delta uniform had been draped over the large chair in the corner
of their room. Diane checked the closet and noticed his running shoes were
still in their place on the shoe rack. She did notice that his Sperry
Topsiders were missing or they were still packed in his overnight bag,
although he rarely took them on trips to London (too cold). So, he went out in
street clothes, not running clothes, she thought. Where?

    It didn't matter though, not at the moment. Diane had another reason for
coming upstairs besides checking on Steve's clothes. She was nervous as she
sat on the unmade bed and dialed on the walkaround phone.

    "Hello?" was the response on the other end.

    "Ron. Hi. It's me, Diane."

    "Diane?" he said, truly surprised.

    "Yeah." Now, why'd I call, she had to remind herself. Oh, yeah. "I just
thought I'd call to see if you made it back home all right and to thank you
for Thursday night. It was nice seeing you again." All of a sudden she was
getting cold feet.

    "Well thanks. It was good seeing you again too. Thanks for taking the time
on such short notice."

    "So, you're home now?" she said realizing how lame the remark sounded and
wished she could take it back.

    "Yeah, I'm home." He paused slightly as if he were trying to figure out
the meaning of the call, then continued, "I made it out of Atlanta okay but I
almost missed my connection out of Dallas. Got home late last night. So,
what's up?" he added hastily.

    "Oh, nothing, really. I just wanted to thank you again for asking me out.
At first I really didn't want to come, I was scared, I guess. But once I got
there and we started talking......... I don't know.....it was fun." She felt
vulnerable again and almost expected to be struck down. She was surprised.

    "Diane, it was great seeing you again too. I mean it. We'll have to do it
again when I get back there next trip."

    "Yeah, okay. Next trip," Diane paused. She could hear a very slight
background squeal from the walkaround phone. "When will that be, do you
think?" Careful girl, not too eager!

    Ron was picking up the message nonetheless. In fact, he was getting
excited so he lied, "Next week, is that too soon?"

    Before she could think, Diane said, "No, it's not too soon. You're
business requires you back that quickly?" What was the point in asking that?

    "Yeah it does. I can see you again this Thursday night. Maybe we can have
dinner this time too." Ron was sounding confident, almost aggressive.

    Now Diane was uneasy. She could sense what was going on. "Well, okay. I
don't know just yet. Let me call you when you get to town. Are you staying at
the same place?"

    "Yup, same place, Marriott Peachtree Center. You got the number?"

    "Uh, yeah, I can get it."

    Ron recognized her reticence. "Great. Call me, we'll set something up."
His tone changed to something a bit more soothing.

    "Okay. See you then. Bye," she finally said. She was happy but confused by
how rapid, how easy it had been.

    The butterflies Diane was feeling during the call all of a sudden erupted
into a numbing sensation throughout her extremities. She knew, as Ron knew,
what that phone conversation had been about. There could be no more
pretending. She was going to see him again. Yeah, just see him again.
Certainly there could be no harm in just seeing Ron.

    Diane headed to the grocery store at about one in the afternoon. She first
dropped Kristen off for her soccer practice then let Amy off at one of her
friends in the neighborhood. She'd been invited over to play. Now alone, Diane
turned her Cherokee into the big parking lot and was trying to concentrate on
what to make for dinner. She asked herself once more, where's Steve? He hadn't
shown up during the late morning hours as he usually did after his long run.
Well, he didn't have his running shoes with him anyway, Diane reasoned. She
closed the door and headed into the cavernous supermarket.

    Diane had just started down one of the crowded aisles pushing her cart
when she noticed a semi-familiar face coming at her. I know him, she said to
herself. As they got closer, the man smiled then asked, "Diane?"

    "Yeah, it's....I'm sorry (she almost said Ron)....I've forgotten your
name."

    "Rick. Rick Grossman, I run from time to time with Steve."

    "Oh yeah, Rick, that's right. We've met at one of the races or something,
right?" Diane remembered him now. He and Steve used to travel to races
together. Back when she'd go with him to watch, she met Rick.

    "Yup, I think it was the one up at Lake Lanier last summer. So where's
Steve? I thought he said you guys were going out of town this weekend."

    Diane looked puzzled. "No. (what the hell?) Not that I know of....," she
laughed politely.

    Rick's face then changed to slight alarm. "Well, maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe
he said next weekend."

    Diane was getting suspicious. "Didn't he go running with you guys this
morning?" She already knew the answer.

    "Uh, no. He didn't show. That's why I thought it was THIS weekend." Rick
was getting more and more fidgety.

    Diane was keenly aware of the awkwardness of the situation and felt it
necessary to cover for Steve. She was getting self-conscious. "Now that I
think of it, he may have said he was needed down at Delta this morning...some
sort of safety meeting or something."

    Rick was feeling better. "Oh, yeah. Okay. That would explain it then." He
moved his cart a bit indicating that he needed to return to his shopping.
"Tell him I'll see him at the pool Monday morning."

    "Will do," smiled Diane. Then she was moving again.

    Diane continued to absent-mindedly load her basket with the usual food
items as she pondered the meaning of what Rick had said and where Steve might
be. If she wanted to be pessimistic, she could imagine all kinds of scandalous
scenarios involving Steve. On the other hand, Steve was a straight arrow. In
all the time she'd known him, he had never given her a reason to even think he
was messing around on the side. However, on the OTHER hand, their marriage had
been far from wonderful these past months, no, make that years, Diane thought.
Damn him, she cursed. I'll certainly be interested in hearing his story when
he gets back, that's for sure.
    __________________

    Dinner was getting cold. Diane had waited till nearly 7 PM before she set
the table for the four of them and Steve was still nowhere to be found.

    "Mommy, daddy's not flying again already is he?" asked Amy.

    "No sweetie, not tonight."

    "Well, where is he? Are we going to eat dinner yet? I'm hungry."

    "I don't know where he is and yes, let's eat now. Dinner's almost ruined
anyway." Diane was becoming resigned to the fact that he'd even be home
tonight. She was getting concerned about his safety though.

    Just as Diane was spooning some corn onto little Amy's plate she heard the
garage door opener kick in. "There he is, kids." Part of her was rejoicing and
part of her wanted to knock his teeth in.

    Diane continued eating as the door from the garage swung open. "Hi kids,
I'm home!" cried Steve.

    "Daddy!" Amy yelled as she got up from the table to greet him.

    Steve carried Amy back to the table on one arm kissing her then he greeted
Kristen. "Hey ya squirt. How was soccer today?" He was all smiles like nothing
had happened, like nothing was wrong. He looked at Diane as she continued to
watch the food on her plate.

    "Hi mom, how's it goin'?" he said slightly more straight-faced.

    "Hi yourself," Diane answered in a tone that almost sounded like 'go fuck
yourself'. She was boiling inside.

    "Is any of this for me? I'm starving," he said more like he was asking the
girls than Diane. He continued to smile and tease both Amy and Kristen as he
loaded his plate with the casserole

    Without announcement, Diane rose from the table with her glass of tea and
headed upstairs to the master bedroom. She settled back into the big chair in
the corner of the room, kicked off her shoes and lit one of her VS120s.
Smoking the longer 120mm cigarettes from time to time pleased her, especially
after a meal. She was wondering how she would smoke for Ron the next time they
got together when Steve suddenly entered the room.

    He looked at her. "You know Diane, the last vision I have of you from
yesterday is with a cigarette in your hand. Is this all you do now? Smoke?"
This was not what Steve had come in to say. Just the sight of her stretched
out leisurely on the big chair puffing away had angered him.

    Diane inhaled a long puff and uttered, "Screw you," in a barely audible
voice then exhaled her smoke.

    "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Steve asked rather pointedly.

    Diane remained silent as he glared at her. She considered another long
puff but instead just sort of blurted out, "So, where were you taking us out
of town this weekend?"

    This little question had obviously caught Steve off-guard as it was
intended. "What do you mean, 'taking us out of town'?"

    "Just what I said. Seems you've told some people that you'd, WE'D, be out
of town this weekend. Is that right?"

    Steve remembered. God, how'd she find out? He had needed a meager excuse
to get out of his running on Saturday and bike riding on Sunday with his
buddies and could only say that he would be out of town. Some in the group
knew what was going on though. Who'd she run into? He thought for a minute.
"Well, I WAS out of town today," which was technically true. He never liked to
lie.

    Diane knew that they were going to start down a long line of questions and
answers if he allowed it. She wasn't sure she had the stomach for it. "Yeah,
sure, that's great. You only have this weekend off before you have to go back
overseas and you let ME handle the girls again." Normally, Steve would take
Kristen to her game or practice on Saturday afternoon and let Diane have a
break. "Where'd you go?" she demanded.

    "We, uh, I went for a bike ride today instead of a run."

    "Till 7 PM for Christ's sake? To where, Tennessee?"

    "Oh, just beyond Dahlonega, about 70 miles overall." He remained calm.

    "How come you came and left in your car? You weren't wearing your bike
stuff."

    "Bike's on the roof of the car. I changed at, at (no lying
now)....Becky's." He made eye contact when he said 'Becky's'.

    Okay. Here it is. The most pessimistic scenario, Diane thought. Her head
started to spin. She felt a terrible anger welling up inside her but somehow
didn't feel right unloading it on Steve, not yet anyway. She needed to remain
in control, to stay calm. "Becky's?" she repeated with a slight inflection,
then began to rub her forehead. Oh, this is bad, this is really bad she kept
telling herself.

    With shaking hands, Diane lit another one of her long VS120s. Steve was
now staring out the window into the backyard and began to speak slowly. "I
really can't continue to go on like this Diane. We've had our problems for so
long now. You need to understand, I guess, just what I'm going through, what
I'm feeling."

    He looked back towards her. She took an exceedingly long puff on her
cigarette and kept eye contact the whole time. He watched as she savored her
inhale before he spoke again.

    "Like I said, we've been going through a lot of tough times. My hobby, my
training is practically the only thing I enjoy in my life right now." Now he
was watching her exhale a stream of smoke in bursts that didn't seem to want
to end. She just kept pursing her lips and more smoke just kept coming out.
She's mocking me, he thought. "It's kind of like you and your smoking I
guess."

    She looked up after her series of exhales. "Smoking's not my hobby,
Steve," she said with defiance. "Where're you going with all this?"

    "Well, it's just that....I don't know. I guess I'm trying to say that...
God, this is hard. What I'm trying to say is I've been riding with Becky in
the group for more than a year now and...this is hard to admit...."

    Diane felt that the entire room was in a free fall. She contemplated
putting out her cigarette but felt more comfort in holding it.

    "....but, I've developed 'feelings' for her. I know it's wrong but, well,
you and I are going in such opposite directions and she really offers me a
lot." He paused.

    All of a sudden, Diane had this rush of familiarity -- something in time
was repeating itself. It was easy to spot though, unlike the vagueness
associated with déjà vu. Listening to Steve drone on gave her the same eerie
feeling that she had when Linda confessed about she and Ron over the phone
years ago. Diane was in such a funk now she couldn't possibly answer. What was
there to answer anyway?

    "I love her I guess, we've shared a lot over these past months," Steve
continued meekly.

    Two things in this little statement made Diane sit bolt upright. Love?
Shared? "What do you mean you've 'shared' a lot? Like what?"

    "Well, uh, you know....geez, Diane this is tough!"

    "Just tell me, what did you share? A bed? Did you share her bed?!"

    Steve just stood looking around the room. A final soft "yes," was all that
he could manage.

    Diane's eyes grew large. Everything was running in slow motion. She rose
from the chair, gradually at first. Then, with tears already coming down her
face, she ran to him and began hitting him rapidly on the chest with her fists
and forearms. "You BASTARD! You GODDAMN BASTARD you!"

    He tried to hold her arms back and put his own arm around her to console
her at the same time. "NO! Stop it! Leave me alone, you fuck!" There was a
savage rage in her voice yet her fighting was becoming weaker and her crying
louder. "How could you do this to me?! How could you do this to your family?!"

    Diane sank to her knees as her elbows hit the carpeting. She was crying
loudly enough for the girls to hear her now. Steve continued to try to help
her but as he got closer she picked one of her shoes off the floor and threw
it at him. "Get away from me. Just get away from me." She was practically
hysterical.

    Steve was frozen. He couldn't get near her yet he didn't want to just
leave her. Finally, he heard Kristen at the door knocking softly and asking if
mommy was okay. He could tell that his daughter was distressed. He walked
quickly by Diane, tried to stroke her hair then headed for the door. He opened
it a crack, slipped out and held Kristen in his arms as they both started to
cry.


    8. Confusion and Clarity

    "So you had this big blow up?" asked Dr. (call me Al) Fields. "How bad was
it?"

    "Bad, real bad," Diane answered. She was chain smoking as usual.

    "Did he hit you?" Al asked very matter-of-factly.

    "No. God no. We, I actually, did a lot of yelling. And crying. It was
awful."

    "How do you feel now? Is your situation resolved?"

    Diane sighed. "No, it's not resolved. I'd imagine we've got a long way to
go before we'll both feel it's resolved."

    "You said the argument started over his taking off for the day and not
telling anyone? Any idea where he went?"

    "Oh yeah. He was gone with..." She started to cry again and found the
Kleenex already in her hands. For several minutes, Diane cried as Al held her
and rocked slowly. It felt good. I need to be held, Diane reasoned.

    "There, there, it's okay," he said softly. "We don't have to talk about it
if..."

    "No! I want to talk about it. I've waited all week to talk about it,"
Diane interrupted.

    Al released her gently. She sat back in her chair, dabbed her eyes again
then continued. "This is awful, it's just so fuckin' awful."

    He remained quiet waiting for her to carry through her expression.

    Diane sat back in the chair smoking in silence through several puffs.
Finally she broke her own trance. "Okay, here it is: Steve admitted to having
an affair. He's been screwing her for the better part of a year and claims
that he loves her. That's where he was all day Saturday, probably humping her
brains out." She went back to smoking and silently crying.

    Al remained quiet for a bit longer. He was just about to say something
when Diane cut in. "And the real shitty thing about it is he let it go on so
long while I've been living in hell with this depression trying desperately to
cope with the lousy marriage and raise our girls with him gone most of the
time. And all the while he's been living life as he pleases. Goddamn it, I
hate him!"

    "You need some time apart from him Diane, a separation perhaps."

    "No kidding."

    "Have you worked any of the details out yet?"

    "Sort of. Well, no. I want to go to my sister's. I just want to get so far
from him that I can't stand it. But I can't take the girls with me and I can't
pull them out of school. Steve can't have the girls; he's gone too much. Oh,
it's such a mess."

    "Diane, I want you to call this number." He handed her a card. "It's a
family counseling service that can offer advice and assistance in dealing with
the logistics of a separation or divorce. They're really great. And they will
answer all your questions and provide options and solutions. Actually, you and
Steve should both see them."

    "A marriage counselor?"

    "Well, they offer counseling for married couples but it's more than that."
He looked at her, took her hand and smiled. "They'll help."

    "I thought I was coming here for help," Diane said knowing full well that
Al was only being practical. She didn't want practical. She wanted comfort.
She wanted someone to make it all go away, at least for the hour she was here.

    "Tell me about Ron." Al abruptly switched the subject, which surprised
Diane.

    "Ron?"

    "Didn't you say he was coming to town?"

    She had mentioned it when she first got in. Diane had initially planned to
not tell Al about her and Steve's recent problem. She was ashamed of having a
second man cheat on her. It was futile though. Deep down, she knew she'd tell
Al. She'd only been seeing him for five weeks and suspected that he could
probably write a book about her life. Thank God for doctor / patient
confidentiality, she thought.

    "Yeah, I'm seeing him tonight."

    "Tonight?" Al said raising his eyebrows.

    "Don't worry. I'm not planning on some instant sexual revenge. We met last
week when he was here and had drinks." She wanted to mention that they both
smoked too but was too embarrassed. Oh, what the hell. He knows, she reasoned.
"We both smoked too. I enjoy having a smoking friend."

    "Yes," said Al.

    Diane was getting excited thinking about her upcoming rendezvous. She went
on to mention that Ron had this fetish thing that she and Al had spent all of
Week 3 discussing.

    "Yes," said Al.

    Diane was practically going on like a schoolgirl as she spoke of Ron and
their initial meeting. He could see that she was gaining some interim
satisfaction from the recent tryst with Ron, and also some sorely needed
confidence. "He's really changed, you know. He's not the same man that I
married." She really wanted Al's approval.

    "Diane, I'm happy for you. But you want to give your marital situation
priority right now. If that means ending it, so be it. I think you need to
focus on a resolution to your problem no matter how unpleasant." The advice
came out almost like a loving father speaking to his daughter but without any
trace of condescension.

    Diane took it well...almost like he was saying, 'you must follow your
heart in situations like this, no matter how unpleasant'. She respected Al and
treated him like a dear friend. He had helped her tremendously with this
weighty matter. She would follow her heart tonight....
    ________________

    Diane walked into McDuffy's, a trendy restaurant and pub near Peachtree
Center that was located in the basement of a pre-Civil War brick building. The
drive downtown had been long but traffic had moved along quickly. She left her
car in the hotel valet parking and made the block or so walk to the restaurant
by herself. She looked absolutely ravishing tonight. She wore a low-cut black
cocktail dress that was a contradiction in formal yet casual style. Her hair
and makeup were impeccable. She also wore a petite pearl necklace and matching
pearl earrings. She carried a very small black purse barely big enough for her
single pack of Virginia Slims 120s, which was all it contained except for her
driver's license.

    The hostess greeted her at the bottom of the stairs. Diane was early and
very edgy. She'd left home too soon anticipating heavy traffic and as a
result, the always-punctual Ron had not yet arrived. "I'll just wait in the
bar," she said attempting to radiate confidence while her knees shook
uncontrollably.

    Diane slid onto a wooden barstool at the only remaining table, a very
small round one almost touching the big bar itself. Almost on cue, a waiter
wearing a plaid vest and black trousers appeared for her drink order. "I'll
have a vodka martini with the olive," she grinned at him.

    "Very good, madam." He was off.

    Now for the show, she thought. A tingle of excitement passed through her
entire body in anticipation of the experience to come. Diane opened her purse
and carefully extracted her first long white cigarette of the evening and
placed it between her lovely painted lips. Immediately she imagined she could
see a half-dozen pair of men's eyes on her. She smiled then gently pushed one
side of her hair back and lit her cigarette.

    Diane's back was almost facing the door when Ron arrived. Nonetheless, he
recognized her immediately. It was a very enticing view. He could see the bare
skin on her back between the skimpy dress lines and her beautiful blond hair
hanging just below her shoulders. He could also see her holding a very long
cigarette cocked in her left hand as she sipped her drink. He stood there for
a moment in awe. Then, just after sipping her martini, Diane raised the
cigarette to her mouth, which was hidden from Ron. He couldn't see it but
Diane accomplished one of her trademark 'pops' with the smoke then inhaled.
Ron watched as her shoulders rose from behind to accommodate the large volume
of smoke. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. That this woman, sitting
alone, looking so sexy was going to be his for the night. Diane finished her
action by tilting her head back ever so slightly then letting her smoke shoot
up towards one of the high intensity lights. She was watching it glide around
when someone came up from behind and touched the skin on her shoulder.
Flinching in surprise, Diane turned around and stood up to give Ron a big hug.
She was genuinely happy to see him. They simultaneously kissed each other's
cheeks as they embraced.
    ________________

    "Oh Diane, I am so sorry to hear that, honestly." Ron dragged out each
word of the sentence. "I feel so bad for you. No one should have it happen
twice in one lifetime." He felt doubly bad since he had caused one of the two
times that he was referring to.

    "Yeah, I agree." She shrugged her shoulders. "Se la vie." Diane was
feeling the effects of her two martinis and the bottle of wine she was now
splitting with Ron at dinner. Despite sharing the depressing news about she
and Steve, she was still carrying herself well this evening. She was also half
drunk. They were both smoking heavily with Ron matching her pace of one
cigarette every ten minutes or so. He was so hard down below that he ached.

    When dinner ended, they both declined the rich dessert tray and elected
for two cappuccinos. Diane was laughing at practically every story or anecdote
that Ron told. She was giving him confidence that things were not going to end
after he paid the check and they left the restaurant.

    "So, tell me, what's it like to be a big world traveler", Diane said with
an alluring grin while holding her white mug with both hands and fresh VS120.

    "It's really no big deal. Doesn't Steve travel overseas too?" He paused
realizing that he said 'Steve' again. "Sorry."

    "Steve doesn't travel like you. He goes to the same place every seven
days, spends the night at the same Hilton hotel at the Gatwick airport, then
comes home again. He took me several times. We didn't even see downtown
London. Big fuckin' deal."

    Ron knew Diane was feeling at ease. He never knew her to swear like that.
"I think I've stayed there a couple of times myself," he said.

    "Yeah, but you've been to Moscow, Hong Kong, and, where else did you say?"

    "Seoul, Sydney, a few others. It's no big deal. You should see the hotel
rooms. You pay two hundred and fifty to three hundred dollars a night for a
room about the size of the bathroom that I have here."

    Diane looked up at him after sipping her coffee. "You have a big bathroom
here, huh?"

    Ron sensed what she might be inferring. "Oh, it's huge, bigger than my
king-size bed. They gave me a suite this time so I've got lots of extra room."

    "Room to really spread out in?" Diane took a long seductive puff on her
cigarette and inhaled. "Tell me, do you have a nice view from your suite?"
Smoke was starting to trickle out from her nose.

    "The best. You should see it," he added.

    Diane took another long puff. "Ummm, I'd like too," she said slowly. "Just
assume that I did come up. Would I be able to see, say, Stone Mountain?"

    Ron smiled. "Assuming that you did come up, yes, I'd say the chances of
seeing Stone Mountain would be excellent. Especially on a clear night like
tonight."

    Another puff. "I'd reeeally like to see Stone Mountain. Assuming, of
course that I come up."

    Why does she keep saying 'assuming', he wondered. "Would you like to go
now?" he asked, almost a bit too eager.

    "Oh, I don't know. The mountain's been there a long time. Do you think it
would mind if I had one more cigarette before we took a look? Maybe one of
yours?"

    Ron pushed his pack of Marlboro 100s towards her. He had just switched to
the full-flavor version. This time he lit her cigarette but declined one for
himself. Diane leaned across the table. Ron had a perfect angle on her large,
well-formed breasts as they exposed themselves in front of him. He watched
Diane smoke through several puffs of this unfamiliar brand and could tell she
noticed the difference from her lighter VS120s. Her usual 'pops' with her
smoke seemed thicker just before she inhaled and her exhales lasted a little
longer.

    Diane briefly looked down at the cigarette in her hand and smiled. "So,
assuming I come up to your, ah, suite, I think I should just stay for a short
time. Maybe just to see the view. What do you think?" What happened beyond
that, she guessed, would be up to him.

    Ron squirmed in his seat. Diane took a deliberate puff on her cigarette
and leaned across the table again. Their lips brushed as Ron inhaled a small
amount of Diane's smoke. He was getting hotter by the minute. "I think it's
time we go," he said.

    Ron fumbled briefly with the card reader system on his room door until he
got the green light to illuminate. He was clearly nervous. Diane waited
several steps back in the hall as if to signal that she was not really 'with'
him but only present to see something then be on her way. Both knew that was
false. Why the charade, he wondered.

    Finally, Ron got the lights on and entered the suite. Diane lingered in
the hall for a moment. He looked over his shoulder and said, "Coming?"

    She smiled demurely then stepped inside. She was behaving almost like
she'd never been in a hotel before. Ron could see it was part of an act to
make her feel less vulnerable to him. He wanted to relax her.

    "Nightcap?" he asked as he headed for the minibar in the living room.

    Diane was standing near the door to the bedroom casually bending her neck
to look inside. It was dark.

    Ron asked again, "Nightcap? Something to drink?"

    She jumped. "Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever you're having."

    He had a glass in one hand as he pulled the cord to open the
floor-to-ceiling window coverings and expose the marvelous 16th story view. He
then took out two miniature Wild Turkey bottles and dumped the contents into
respective glasses. "I think I need to go get some ice," he said.

    Diane didn't object as he left the room to head down the hall. She sat
back on the large sofa and opened her tiny purse. Flipping back the lid on her
pack of VS120s, she noticed only two cigarettes were remaining. Shit, she
murmured, I smoked all those? It was true. She had had a full pack when she
left the house. She had two cigarettes on the drive down and the other sixteen
in the restaurant over the course of three and a half hours. Oh well, she said
to herself as she lit number nineteen.

    When Ron entered the room with the ice bucket, Diane was standing right up
against the big glass window admiring the night vista. When she sensed he was
close to her, she turned around very slowly and drew on her VS120. She inhaled
with an audible 'whoosh' and said in a husky voice, "Nice view." The
confidence that she'd lost earlier was returning.

    Ron couldn't resist. He was so close to her now and felt the overpowering
urge to kiss her. Their lips met for the first time since the restaurant as
Diane held the smoke in her lungs then softly exhaled through her nose after
the kiss. In a very beguiling voice she said, "Ron, I was only supposed to be
up here to see your room. Shame on you." She smiled.

    Ron handed her the mixed drink and they both sat down on the sofa. Diane
reclined about halfway into the plush cushions and used her feet to remove her
shoes then resumed smoking. Ron sat on the edge watching her.

    After a long puff and a sip from her drink Diane giggled and said, "You
lied to me you know. You said you could see the mountain from your room."

    Ron smiled back. "You mean we can't see the mountain from this room?" he
said faking an incredulous tone. "Those bastards."

    There was a moment of silence then Diane took another lengthy sip from her
drink and set it on the table. She sat up to face Ron. "Maybe we can see it
from your bedroom window," she suggested in an obsequious manner.

    Ron moved closer to Diane. With his right hand he took Diane's cigarette
from her left as they maintained eye contact. He took a long drag then
inhaled. Diane's eyes were shinning brightly. She looked as though she was
going to melt right in front of him. He moved his lips within an inch of hers
and exhaled all the smoke he had. Almost too eagerly, Diane sucked it in and
moaned. Once inside her, their lips met and they shared a long, passionate
kiss. Smoke started trailing from her nose as she began to recline again only
this time with Ron on top of her.

    "More, I want to do that again," she softly pleaded.

    "What?" he asked.

    "I want you to give me some more smoke."

    Ron obliged. He took a double pump on Diane's quickly waning cigarette,
inhaled then fed her the smoke as he lay on top of her. Again, she eagerly
accepted it with an almost exaggerated inhale. They kissed again as Diane held
the smoke. Both were becoming very excited but Ron was in no hurry to leave
the sofa just yet. We have all night, he reasoned.

    During a brief lull, Diane rolled over and lit the last cigarette from her
pack. They both sat in a more upright position and shared turns taking puffs
and feeding each other the smoke. Diane was so moist down below that she could
feel her fluid practically running from her pussy. As they exchanged smoke
back and forth, she managed to get Ron's fly open and place his enlarged
member in her hand. Back and forth went the smoke. Diane moaned with each
inhale and stroked Ron harder and faster. Finally, he could control himself no
longer. Just as Diane was feeding him a double pump, he lost it in an intense
ejaculation. Both slowed their action. Diane took a final puff then crushed
her cigarette out in the coffee table ashtray. Ron was still breathing rapidly
as Diane rested her head on his chest and exhaled her remaining smoke.

    Things were progressing faster now. They had moved to the big king-size
bed in the other room. Diane was down to just her panties; Ron was naked. She
knew that there was going to be intercourse now. This worried her only
slightly. The anticipation of the absolute pleasure she was going to receive
far outweighed any remaining control left inside. She could tell Ron was ready
again. He was rock hard. He handed Diane a freshly lit Marlboro 100 as their
bare stomachs touched under the sheets. She took a long puff as she felt his
member. "My God, you're hard again," she giggled. "What are you on, Viagra?"

    Ron took the cigarette from her. "This is my Viagra," he said as he
started a puff of his own.

    Soon they were in a rhythm of advanced foreplay of both smoking and
fondling. Diane was aching to have him inside her. For some reason, Ron was
going slower than she wanted. She asked him between heavy breathing to move
closer to her. Then, with cigarette in one hand, she took her free hand and
slid Ron's long cock into her awaiting vagina by pushing on his ass. Almost
instantly she felt the onset of an explosive orgasm. Ron maneuvered on top and
let her continue to smoke as he fucked her - in and out, in and out. Diane was
licking her moist lips between puffs. Her eyes were closed and her moans grew
louder. In not more than a minute after Ron had entered her, she came in a
series of violent orgasms that increased in their intensity leaving her
shaking and screaming underneath him.

    Now it was Ron's turn. Like they had done when they were married, Ron was
lying on his back with his head on the pillows while Diane was straddling him
and sitting upright. Ron's still-hard cock was inside her again as she
prepared to light another one of his Marlboros. She knew what she was supposed
to do and was more than eager to please this time.

    Diane began a slow rocking motion as she started her show for him. First
she took a sequence of medium puffs asking him if this was good. "Do you like
to watch me smoke?" she asked rather suggestively. He wasn't supposed to
answer.

    She French inhaled a very thick ball of smoke. "Is this good?" she asked.
"I love to inhale like this." She did it again and then again a third time.
She could feel Ron getting harder yet as she continued to wiggle on top of
him. "I love to smoke. I love it when you fuck me while I smoke," she said as
smoke exited her mouth when she talked.

    Ron was getting very close to orgasm again. Diane continued her seductive
smoking and slow rhythmic motion. "I'm so glad you started smoking Ron. Now
you know what I'm feeling." She took a long double pump. "Oh, this feels sooo
good. The smoke feels so good in my lungs." Diane let go a long nose exhale
then began to forcefully kiss him until he came inside her.

    When they were finally rested and lying next to each other, Ron asked,
"So, was it good for you too?" They both laughed.
    _________________

    Oh, it was good all right. Much better than she'd ever expected. She was
driving home on what they called The Connector - a merging in the downtown
area of I-75 and I-85. She had the a/c on in the Cherokee and the cool night
air was blowing in. She felt she needed it to stay awake so she adjusted the
vent more directly towards her face. It was 1:30 in the morning yet there was
still light traffic moving around her as she cruised north to pick up Georgia
400. Despite the very high volume of smoking she did tonight, Diane sighed
that she had run out cigarettes. One sounded especially good right now as she
listened to "Passionate Kisses" come forth on the CD player; another Mary
Chapin Carpenter tune. She cursed herself for not remembering to grab a pack
of Ron's full-flavored Marlboro's. Those were pretty good, she thought. The
richer smoke had made it much easier for her to perform all her tricks for
Ron.

    Ron, she thought. Ron. He was basically the same guy that she remembered
from their marriage with maybe a bit more confidence and cynicism stemming
from ten years of living an emotional roller coaster. Will I see him again,
she asked herself. She doubted it.

    Diane drove on just listening to the music somehow getting bluer and bluer
as she converged on her neighborhood. The babysitter was going to be alarmed
at the late hour even though she was college-aged. Steve would be coming home
tomorrow night. There was a colossal mess to straighten out concerning their
relationship. Then there would be the hassle of the splitting of property,
selling the house, custody battles, etc. The list went on and on. The
alternative would be to patch things up if it were possible. First off, it's
not possible, she reminded herself. They were just too different. Secondly, I
can't live with him after what he's done. God, look what I'VE done, she
thought. She could actually feel Ron's seed somewhere still inside her.

    By the time Diane reached the driveway, she was experiencing a major dose
of guilt. She was also sinking into one of her familiar depressions. She shut
off the engine and rested her weary head on the steering wheel. Everything was
wearing off; the alcohol, the euphoria from lovemaking and the nicotine. God,
I need a cigarette. No, no, I've got to get inside. They're waiting for me.
Slowly, a solution began to formulate in her head. Yes, they are waiting for
me - Amy and Kristen. Suddenly she felt a very urgent, almost self-protective
need to rush inside. She was their mother, their protector. No matter what
happens, she told herself, I will always protect and fight for my girls. It
will be the three of us - always, no matter what happens between Steve and I.
Gradually, Diane was gaining motivation to get out of the driver's seat. Her
guilt was being assuaged as the love for her daughters began to shine through.

Previous part | Next part