Carousel, Part 4

CAROUSEL
***by Somers

***Special Thanks to: Berry and the Lurker
***Song by: The Hollies



PART FOUR: TRYING TO CATCH UP TO YOU



Joan was just finishing the loading of the cigarette rack when she heard the
bells at the door and looked over to see Becky's arrival.

"Hi! Sorry I'm a little late!" Becky called out to her, waving with one hand
that held a cigarette.

"That's quite alright, honey. They've got the highway blocked off because of
some kind of accident up there, so it's been practically dead here for the
last half hour," Joan replied.

Becky went over to the set of hooks where they kept the blue store jackets,
then placed her cigarette in her lips, set her purse down, and proceeded to
don her jacket. She took a long drag while she buttoned up the front, then
removed the cigarette from her lips and inhaled the smoke deeply. She picked
up her purse once more, then went behind the counter next to Joan.

"How did you like the movie ?" Joan asked, referring to the video
"Neverending Story" that she knew Becky was planning on watching the previous
evening.

"Oh, it was really cute!" Becky exclaimed, then paused to blow a cone of
smoke up at the ceiling. She then took another drag from her ultralight,
inhaled and started telling Joan about the tape. During this conversation,
she set her bag on the counter and proceeded to unload her nearly empty
cigarette pack and lighter, followed by a new, unopened pack and placed them
next to the ashtray on the shelf below. As she talked, smoke began flowing
from her mouth.

"I really loved all the creatures, especially the big, fuzzy luck dragon,"
Becky continued.

"But I would rather have spent the time with Geoff," she added.

"Yes, I'm sure you would, honey. But he needs the time to study. Is today his
big exam ?" Joan asked while lighting a cigarette of her own.

"Um, hmmm...." Becky nodded while taking another strong pull from the
now-short cigarette in her lips.

"Well, I certainly wish him the best of luck. I wish I could have gone to
college, but I'm just not the type for that sort of thing," Joan said,
winking at Becky.

"Me neither, I guess, and I kind of wish that Geoff just had a regular job so
that I could be with him all of the time," Becky said while holding her
breath in her lungs, then stopped and rapidly blew out a stream of smoke. She
looked down at her cigarette, burned nearly to the filter, and took a final
drag before snuffing it out in the ashtray.

"I know what you mean, hun. When you really like a guy, you want to stay with
him and enjoy the company, but men seem to want to go and do their things. A
couple of years ago, Charlie bought this motorcycle and started working on it
in his garage," Joan paused in her story to take a long pull from her
Marlboro 100, then continued, letting her exhale punctuate her words.

"I tried hanging around in the garage with him, but he was always so
preoccupied with his bike that he wasn't really much fun at all. So, I just
began leaving him to his new toy, and stopped worrying about it. If I get too
possessive of him, he just gets mad."

"I figure that there are things that the motorcycle does for him that I just
can't compete with," Joan said, then took a pensive drag from her cigarette
and inhaled.

"Of course, there are things that I can do to him that no bike in the world
could do!" she winked, laughed, and then blew a smoke into the air and looked
at it rolling out into a puffy, white cloud. Becky laughed. She could tell
that Joan was replaying one of their encounters in her mind as the older
woman stared admiringly into the smoke.

"Yes, there are things I would love to do with Geoff, too. Maybe tonight, as
long as he is in a good mood. It seems like it's been weeks, and he's gotten
me all nervous over this test," Becky said, then she reached down for another
cigarette, put it in her lips, and lit it.

"Why do these never seem to taste as good as the first one in the morning ?"
Becky asked after inhaling deeply and staring at the burning cigarette in her
fingers.

Joan looked at Becky's face, and saw a look of disappointment and yearning in
those innocent eyes. But beautiful eyes they were, and it seemed wrong that
such a young and pretty person should have to deal with so much of life all
at once. She felt so dearly about this young girl who had come to work with
her in the little store, and wanted to do anything she could to help her.
They had shared so many things about themselves, and despite the difference
in age, had become very close friends.

"Here, honey, why don't you try these ?" Joan suggested, pulling a pack down
from the rack and placing it on the counter.

"They're not too strong, are they ?" Becky asked, a hint of a worried wrinkle
showing on her brow. Then she exhaled her smoke, still feeling that it was a
bit tasteless.

"No, they're still the lights," Joan said, pointing out the word on the pack
of Marlboros. Becky could see it clearly, so she extinguished her ultralight
cigarette and began to peel open the new pack.

"I can see you are struggling with the ones you've been smoking. These have a
little more flavor, and you might like them." Joan added, smiling, and then
taking a drag from her own full-flavored Marlboro.

"Thanks," said Becky, then she lit the end of the new cigarette and dragged
on it in her usual fashion, pulling in her cheeks. Joan had noticed that
Becky seemed to have been smoking more, but enjoying it less recently. She
also had observed that Becky had been pulling harder and harder on the
ultralights. Joan, a smoker for decades, knew what that meant, and had no
desire to encourage Becky's growing cigarette habit, but she empathized with
Becky, and wanted so much to help her young friend.

A customer came in to buy a pack of cigarettes, and Joan raced over to the
register to help him. He got his smokes, she made the change and they talked
a little about the accident up on the highway. Becky sat in the little metal
chair and smoked and listened to the conversation. Then, the guy departed,
leaving Becky and Joan alone in the store once more.

"You know, these are pretty good," said Becky, exhaling a stream of smoke and
looking at the burning Marlboro Light 100 in her fingers.

***

"Well, folks, We've just reached the midway point and expect to be landing in
about two hours. On the right side of the plane coming up, you will see the
coastline and the outer banks of North Carolina. The weather in Tampa is
sunny, and 84 degrees. We invite you to sit back and enjoy the rest of the
flight," the captain's voice crackled over the speakers.

Becky struggled to peer through the haze outside the window, and caught a
glimpse of a long finger of land, looking almost like a tiny sandbar just off
the coastline. She was glad to be able to look at something, because she was
tiring of reading her novel. This was her first plane ride, but the
excitement that she had experienced during the whoosh! of the takeoff and the
brand new thrill of flying had soon worn off. Now she was becoming somewhat
bored. She missed Geoff so much, and just wanted this plane flight to be over
so that they could be together.

Geoff was attending a computer show in Tampa, and had asked Becky to come
down and join him for a few days of fun before they both went back home.
Having never left her home state in the northeast her whole life, Becky
jumped at the chance. The fact that she would be spending time with Geoff
made it even more exciting. She hoped that Geoff would like the new bikini
that she had bought, and she had tried to make sure to bring plenty of
sunscreen in order to avoid getting a burn. Her mind went through the
articles in her backpack, trying to assure that nothing had been forgotten.
Then she found herself chewing on her lip in anxiety and told herself that
whatever she might have forgotten didn't matter, because she was not about to
go back for it.

She sighed, feeling her mouth getting very moist, then thought back to the
time that Geoff had taken her to see "The Phantom of the Opera" at the
theater. It was a really wonderful stage production, and brought Becky into a
world that she had never known when she was with Bob. Geoff always seemed to
have exciting things going on, and she loved it when he invited her on new
adventures. This Florida trip was the biggest thing yet. Geoff excited her in
a way that she could not describe, and she knew that she loved him.

She looked out at the puffy, white clouds and remembered the intermission
during the stage play, when she and Geoff went outside to have a cigarette
along with the throng of other smokers. They stood off to the side of the
crowd under the lights of the marquee, and he lit her cigarette for her, and
then his own. She recalled his beautiful blue eyes and that wonderful smile,
and how she saw the strange expression of love and desire on his face while
she was taking a drag on her cigarette. She had noticed it before; that
pleased and sensual look that he acquired whenever he watched her smoke. She
began thinking how nice it would be to be able to just have one cigarette to
get her through the rest of the flight.

She watched and waited for the flight attendants to gradually work their way
along the aisle with the food cart. She was looking forward to the snack, not
out of hunger, but because it represented some kind of activity in the
otherwise dull and sterile atmosphere. She sighed again, looked at her watch,
and then gazed back out the window at the distant clouds over the mainland.
They looked so different from up here. She could envision lying on top of
them like a big bed made of giant cotton balls, and found it hard to
understand how they could be no more than just a bunch of tiny water
droplets. She imagined breathing in one of those clouds, and wondered what
they tasted like. She licked her lips and swallowed, wondering why she was
salivating so much. Perhaps she was hungry after all.

Following what seemed like an eternity, the attendant was nearly next to her
seat, so she unclipped the tray table and it flopped down abruptly in front
of her. She got the little, tiny box snack and peered inside to find some
cheese and crackers, an apple, and a half sandwich. It was all chilled, and
the sandwich was wrapped so tightly that she could see the chicken salad
mixture oozing from the bread and pressing on the cellophane.

She felt the smoothness of the plastic wrapper in her fingers, and picked at
the edge to begin peeling off the sheet and free the tightly squeezed food
from its prison. It tasted rather bland, but she gobbled it down rapidly, so
pleased to have something to keep her occupied. She then played with the
container of cheese and crackers, spreading the cheese out on each chilly
cracker and popping them in her mouth one by one. She wiped her mouth with
the funny little napkin, then crunched her way through the apple.

When she was finished the food and they had collected the trash, she put her
seat back and closed her eyes. She thought happy thoughts of Geoff, and was
so anxious to see him. Her mind replayed many of their wonderful times
together, and this reverie brought a little smile to her lips. She could see
herself there in the mirror at Geoff's apartment, laughing happily with him
by her side. She could clearly see the smoke he was showing her, pouring
thickly from his mouth and wafting upward into his nostrils. That was the
night he taught her the french inhale, and ever since then, she loved doing
it for him. The scene was so vivid in her mind, that she could almost smell
the smoke curling into her nose. Geoff's happy and smiling face was hanging
there in a cloud.

The plane's jets continued to whine, and the sounds of people talking and
other noises began to fade away as she started to fall asleep. It was a
fitful sleep, and she would awaken for a few seconds frequently, just enough
to dispell the confusion of not knowing where she was, then she would drift
off again.

She stood on the stage with the bright lights glaring in her eyes. In the
shadow of the auditorium, she could sense the presence of many people and she
could hear them talking in hushed tones and stirring in their seats. But she
could not see them hidden in the darkness. She worried about whether her
little pigtails were straight, and she felt funny in the rose-colored dress
with her shiny black tap shoes on. The piano began to play, and she was happy
to be able to see Mrs. Wheaton's smiling face looking up at her and all the
other little girls on stage as they tried to follow the movements of the
older fourth-grade girl, Jessica.

When the dance was over, the girls stood and listened to the applause, and
then the lights came on. She could see her parents' faces in the audience
smiling at her and saw their hands clapping vigorously. Strains from the
"Phantom of the Opera" began to play.

She reached down to her purse and took out a pack of cigarettes, then put one
into her lips and flicked the lighter. After a long drag, she inhaled and
waved at her parents in the audience as they continued to applaud vigorously.
A spotlight caught her eye and she saw Geoff in the crowd, waving and smiling
at her with his tinted glasses on. She waved back, then took another drag and
let the smoke pour out of her mouth while she drew it into her nose and felt
the sharp, but enjoyable sensation of the smoke in her sinuses.

The sun was coming up, and she heard the unmistakable sound of motorcycles
approaching. In seconds, they were running around the traffic circle, a guy
and a girl dressed in leather jackets and wearing sparkling helmets. They
roared up to her, shut down the throbbing engines, and the girl pulled off
her helmet to let her long grey hair fall down over her shoulders.

"What can I get you, hun ? Can I do anything for you ?" she asked, then Joan
took a deep drag from a cigarette that appeared in her hand.

"My horse goes up and down, and I like that ride!" Charlie shouted from his
own bike.

"You crazy old fool!" Joan declared, smiling as thick smoke poured from her
nostrils.

"Crazy old fool....." "Crazy old fool....." "Crazy old fool....." "Crazy old
fool....."

She said it again and again, with the most beautiful and happy smiling face,
smoke building up in front of her in big, puffy clouds. She laughed and
tossed her grey hair over her shoulder, then arched her back and smoke came
rushing from her nose. Joan was the luck dragon, waving through the streets
with a big smile on her face and all the happy people carrying her long body
and waving it up and down in ripples while they ran down the street during
Chineese New Year.

Huge puffs of smoke rose from the luck dragon as it rounded the corner,
turning and waving its body up and down. Up and down and around. The
accordian music reached a creshendo, and Becky was on her horse with lights
flashing and the carousel rotating around and around. Geoff went by and she
smiled and waved with her cigarette in her fingers. She took a puff and saw
him again going by. Some loudspeaker blared the words: "... in preparation
for landing, please return your seatbacks to their upright position ..."

Up and down the horse went, giving her that thrilling feeling in her stomach
as she rode the merry-go-round and it went faster. "Whee!" she shouted,
flipping her blonde hair back to allow the wind to fluff it out in a stream
behind her. She took another puff from her cigarette and inhaled as the horse
plunged downward abruptly, then forced itself up, spreading her hips apart as
she exhaled and felt a delicious sensation quiver itself throughout her body.

She looked down and saw Geoff's happy face beneath her as the horse pushed
itself upward again and then she came down on him. He felt so very wonderful
inside of her.

***


Having finally been released from the plane, she rounded the corner of the
jetway and saw Geoff waiting inside of the terminal. Her heart began to
accelerate as did her pace, and she felt a wonderful thrilling sensation when
they embraced, stimulated by his warm body and the feel and taste of his
lips.

Others struggled to get by them, but Geoff and Becky were oblivious to their
plight, both needing to feel the comfort of regaining each other's physical
presence.

"I missed you so much !" Becky exclaimed as they walked arm-in-arm into the
crowd of people rushing toward the main terminal.

"It's great to have you here. How was the flight ?" Geoff asked while hugging
her body close to him.

"It was really awesome at first ! But then it got pretty boring, because I
just wanted to be here," she said, then she stopped for a moment and looked
around the walkway.

"Can you smoke in here ?" she asked, beginning to reach for her purse.

"No. We have to go outside. But it's not too far," Geoff explained as they
resumed walking.

"I can't believe all these really cool trees and how warm it is here!"
Becky's eyes widened as the two of them passed a window looking out onto the
parking area.

"Yeah, it's terrific. I haven't been to the beach yet, but a few other guys
went and they had a great time out there," he said as they went down the
escalator to the doors of the huge terminal complex.

"Mmmmmmmm! Smell that warm air !" Becky grinned, closed her eyes and breathed
in as they exited and stood on the sidewalk. Geoff smiled, watching her hands
as they opened her bag and withdrew her cigarettes. He reached into his
pocket for his lighter, and was ready by the time she had placed a fresh
Marlboro light in her lips. He flicked the lighter and held the flame for her
as she stared into it and drew strongly on her cigarette.

Once burning, Geoff watched the tip of the cigarette glow brightly as Becky
also stared at it and pulled firmly on the filter with her lips. He saw her
close her eyes once more, open her mouth and tilt her head back while she
inhaled. She then smiled and let the smoke flow slowly from her nostrils
while she gradually opened her eyes once more.

"That's better. I haven't had a cigarette since before 9 o'clock this
morning!" Becky declared as she smiled and then raised her Marlboro to her
lips once more.

Geoff continued to watch while she puckered her mouth and inserted the
cigarette once more, then spread her fingers apart as she began to suck on
it. He grinned happily when she closed her eyes once more, then he felt a
certain urge within himself as she finally removed the cigarette from her
lips. He encircled her body with his arms, feeling her chest expand with the
inhaled smoke, then he pressed his lips to hers and held her head firmly in
his warm hand.

Becky opened her eyes in slight confusion, and saw his beautiful blue irises
staring back at her with a look of extreme happiness. She held her breath as
they kissed, intending to exhale when the kiss was complete. After some time,
as they passionately rubbed their lips together, she began to exhale despite
the embrace, and felt his body relax and his mouth engulf her lips
thoroughly. She then breathed all of her smoke into her lover.

CONTINUED

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