Getting Rid of Ryan, Part 2

This fictional account contains adult language and themes.  If such language
and themes offend you, please do not read further.  The persons and events
described in this work are purely fictional.  Any similarity to actual persons
or events is strictly coincidental.  Copyright 2003 by SSTORYMAN.  All rights
reserved.  Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this story in any form
and for any purpose as long as this notice is reproduced and no financial
remuneration is received, directly or indirectly, by the person reproducing or
using it.

GETTING RID OF RYAN

2.	Karen's Intrigue.

   Karen's screen saver came on.  She startled, then touched her mouse.  The
flying windows disappeared.  She groaned.  She hadn't touched her keyboard
in five minutes.

   Her productivity at work was off dramatically  She felt preoccupied.
Things at the office weren't busy and she had time to think.  Too much time!

   Since turning forty Karen began reassessing her life.  It was half over
and she wasn't happy with it.  Things were so ordinary.  She wanted to make
changes, shake things up.  But some people wouldn't like some things she
wished were different.

   It'd been twenty years since Karen quit smoking.  At the time it seemed
right.  She was pregnant with Christine and thought it good to ditch the bad
habits she picked up in her teen years, things like smoking.  Till recently
she never thought about doing it again.

   And then Sharon joined her department at work.  Sharon was her age but
lived and acted like a teenager.  In addition to being pretty Sharon was
vivacious, enthusiastic, optimistic and fun.  Sharon always seemed to enjoy
life.  And she smoked.

   She and Sharon had talked about it many times over lunch.  Sharon had
never considered quitting or even cutting down.  Since age fifteen she smoked
over a pack a day.  Talking with Sharon about smoking made Karen jealous.
Sharon got to do something fun, something Karen had sacrificed years earlier,
supposedly for her daughter's sake.

   Sharon laughed at that revelation.  "Actually, it works just the
opposite.  My kids hate my smoking.  They're not tempted to smoke since they
smell it up close every day.  I did them a favor smoking because now they
don't want to.  For years they've nagged me about it but each time I remind
myself it's the best thing I could've done.  It's like vaccination.
They're immune to the temptation to even try cigarettes."

   Karen had never considered that but it made sense.  As a teenager part of
smoking's attraction was that her parents didn't.  Because she quit
Christine was never vaccinated against the temptation to try it.  It made her
think.

   Not that Christine had ever considered smoking, at least not as far as
Karen knew.  But now apparently her daughter was going to pretend to smoke to
get rid of that pest, Ryan.  Karen felt funny about that.  Truth was, after
spending time with Sharon she herself was seriously evaluating becoming a
smoker again.  It represented a fond connection to happier times.  At forty
she wanted to reestablish her old habit.  Meeting Sharon and seeing her smoke
stirred an old, almost forgotten yearning.

   So when she heard of Christine's plan she was unsure how she felt about
it.  Christine was old enough to smoke if she wanted.  She was almost
nineteen.  On the one hand Karen hoped she'd hate it when she tried it.  But
part of her, no small part, hoped Christine would like smoking.  It'd be a
convenient excuse to facilitate her own return to an old habit.  If Christine
started to smoke she could then blame her own recidivism on her daughter.

   God damn, she cursed herself.  How could she think such a thing?  She was
actually hoping her daughter, her own flesh and blood, would decide to smoke!
It was disgusting; yes, disgusting but true nonetheless.

   A familiar face appeared in the doorway.  "Heads up, Karen.  Time for
lunch.  Ready?"

   Temptation had arrived right on time in the person of her new friend,
Sharon, the smoker.  Karen smiled at the lovely brunette standing at the
door.  "Yeah, Sharon.  Let's go."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Christine and Lia sat in the smoking section at a small restaurant.  To
call it a restaurant was overstatement.  It was a glorified campus bar and
grille.  Lia wasn't old enough to buy beer but she frequented the place
because she could smoke there.  As soon as they sat down Lia lit up another
cigarette.

   "So, Christine," she began.  "I think we need to work on your
technique."

   Christine gulped.  "Oh shit," she muttered.

   Lia smiled.  "What's wrong?  I thought you wanted to do this?"

   "Yeah, sort of.  I mean, now I have to.  I figured if Ryan saw me with a
cigarette he'd hate me and that'd be that.  He'd never want to see me
again.  But instead he's just suspicious.  He knows I'm trying to turn him
off.  The poor boy doesn't get it.  I don't want to go out with him!  Why
won't he just take `no' for an answer?  God, I never thought I'd have to
learn to really smoke to make him stop liking me!"

   "You could turn him in to campus security," Lia reminded her.  "If
he's stalking you they'll write him up.  Then if he doesn't stop they
throw him out of the college."

   "But I don't want to hurt him," Christine whined.  "Ryan's not a bad
person.  He's just a pest.  He has an insane idea that he and I are meant to
be together.  I've told him `no' a thousand times these last few weeks.
You'd think seeing me with a cigarette would turn him off even if he thinks
it's just a trick.  After all, even if I'm faking it he knows I'm doing it
to piss him off."

   Lia took a long drag on her cigarette.  "Some guys are persistent."  She
paused to release a thin stream of creamy white smoke.  "But if he thinks
you really smoke Ryan will give up.  So I say let's get you indoctrinated!"
With that the lovely girl with jet black hair handed Christine a cigarette.

   Christine accepted it.  "Thanks," she smiled somewhat insincerely.  "I
didn't mean for you to get dragged into this mess of mine; at least, not to
this extent."

   "No problem.  That's what friends are for.  I'm glad to help.  I want
to be your friend.  Anyway, I love to smoke.  Who knows?  You might decide
you like it, too."

   "I doubt it," Christine answered, making a face.  "It's a stinky
habit.  I don't mean to insult you, Lia, but I can't imagine deciding I
want to smoke."  She paused.  "But let me ask you a question.  You say you
love to smoke.  Does that mean you don't want to stop smoking even if you
could?"

   "Absolutely," the Italian girl confirmed.  "I have no interest in
quitting."

   "But -.  I thought all smokers wished they could quit."

   Lia laughed.  "People want you to think that.  But it's not true.  Most
smokers I know don't want to quit, not at all.  See, smoking's very
relaxing, very pleasant.  Oh, it's a hassle sometimes, like if you can't
smoke when you want to.  And I do get tired of taking shit from non-smokers
like you."  Her eyes sparkled; she was teasing.  "But really, I'm damn
glad I smoke.  I wouldn't trade it for anything."

   "Wow!  That's weird!  I never heard anyone say that."

   "Then you don't know many smokers," Lia went on.  "Truth is, smoking
goes great with almost everything.  It's fun to smoke while hanging out or
studying or whatever.  It's definitely a must to have a cigarette drinking
beer."  She laughed.  "I know, I know, we're not old enough.  But surely
you drink sometimes?"

   "I indulge occasionally," Christine admitted with a sly smile.  "Well,
it's interesting.  You're right; I don't know many smokers.  I just always
assumed they wish they could quit."

   Lia's eyes laughed.  "Christine, even if you decide you don't want to
smoke, you'll get some insight into why people find smoking highly
enjoyable.  Come on.  Let's get started.  Let me see you light up!"

   Christine used her pink disposable lighter to fire up her cigarette.  The
bitter smoky flavor filled her mouth again, though this time the taste
wasn't quite as unpleasant.

   "Very good," Lia applauded.  "Done almost like a pro.  But you didn't
inhale.  We need to fix that if Ryan is supposed to think you really smoke."

   "You mean breathing the smoke in?"

   "Yep.  Smokers always inhale.  You see, the real kick comes from
breathing it into your lungs.  That's the fun part.  What makes smoking work
is the nicotine, and you don't absorb much of it into your system unless you
inhale the smoke inside."

   Christine nodded.  "Okay.  How do I do that?"

   "I'll show you," Lia promised.  "Take a small puff.  Instead of
blowing it right out after you let it sit in your mouth, like you just did,
breathe in a little, real quick like.  Not too deep, just a smidgen.  The
first few times you might want to cough.  Don't worry, that's natural.  If
you feel it try to relax your muscles.  You'll adjust to having smoke
inside.  Once you get used to it it's what makes smoking so incredibly
rewarding.  When you inhale the nicotine in the smoke immediately gets into
your system and releases all sorts of fabulous endorphins in your brain.  You
actually _feel_ the pleasure.  Believe me, it's great!"

   Christine carefully put the cigarette to her mouth.  "Okay.  I think I
get it."  The hand holding the cigarette shook.  "God," she giggled.
"I'm so jumpy."

   "Don't be nervous.  You'll do fine," Lia promised.  "Just try it."

   She did.  Christine dragged and held the smoke in her mouth like before.
But then instead of letting it out she abruptly breathed in and pulled the
smoke down through her windpipe and ultimately into her lungs.  The feeling
was intense.  The cough reflex tried to kick in.  She consciously relaxed
like Lia suggested.  It helped.  Then without meaning to she breathed out and
saw a thick stream of white creamy smoke flow out of her lips.

   "Very nice," Lia congratulated her.  "Perfect.  How did it feel?"

   Christine shook her head.  "Wow!  My God, it was intense!  Shit, my
head's starting to spin.  I feel dizzy.  What a rush!"

   "Great, isn't it?" Lia approved.  "After you get used to it you won't
feel that way.  The first few times you smoke you get that buzz.  But soon it
disappears, though in its place you feel the endorphins kick in every time
you inhale.  It's highly enjoyable."  She paused to light up another
cigarette of her own.  "Again?"

   "Yeah," Christine agreed.  "Next time Ryan sees me I want him to think
I smoke.  This should definitely do it."  With that she took another drag
and again sucked smoke inside.  Having the thick substance inside her lungs
felt very strange, like the smoke was exerting a great pressure within her
chest.  She intentionally relaxed; that seemed to help.  She opened her mouth
and breathed out, exhaling another strong stream of smoke through pursed
lips.

   "I think you've got it, baby," Lia cooed.  "How do you feel?"

   "Wobbly," Christine admitted.  She felt very dizzy.  It was a good thing
she was sitting.  She tapped the cigarette in the ashtray.  "This is weird,
Lia.  I can't tell you how weird it feels!"

   "I know.  It wasn't _that_ long ago I smoked my first cigarette!"

   "To be honest, if I was standing up I don't think I could do this,"
Christine laughed.  The world seemed to move back and forth before her eyes.
"I'm so dizzy, so buzzed!"

   "Keep practicing.  It'll go away."  Lia paused for a drag.  "Smoke a
couple cigarettes at home tonight.  But space them out at least an hour
apart," she went on as she exhaled.  "Otherwise the nicotine might
completely overwhelm you."

   "I can't smoke at home," she began to protest.  "My parents would
die."

   "Remember what Ryan said?  When I said you smoke at home he vowed to call
and ask your mom if it's true.  So you may as well practice at home.  Your
parents shouldn't care.  After all, it's not like you're smoking for real.
Right?"

   Christine nodded.  "Damn!  Yeah, I guess so.  Well, if I only smoke to
practice a little on our back porch my folks probably won't care.  I told my
mom I was going to do this."  She smiled.  "To tell the truth I don't
think my mom was exactly happy about this idea.  But I still think it'll
work.  Don't you?"

   Lia laughed.  "Oh, it'll work, all right, Christine.  It'll definitely
work!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   "Oh my God!  Your daughter's gonna pretend to smoke to scare away her
boyfriend?  Shit!  That's too funny!"

   "Yeah, it is, isn't it?" Karen dryly agreed.  "It's absolutely
hilarious."

   They were at a downtown restaurant.  Having finished their meals, Sharon
was smoking a Marlboro 100.  It was her fourth cigarette of the lunch hour.

   "So, Karen, I bet you hope your daughter has an unexpected conversion
experience?"

   "Why do you say that, Sharon?"

   "I know what's going on, Karen.  You want to smoke again."  Sharon
dragged on her cork-filtered cigarette, inhaling deeply and blissfully
bathing her lungs with smoke.  "And if your daughter tries it she'll like
it.  So, bingo!  You can follow her lead.  You can even blame it on her.
God, it's perfect.  No one but me will know that you planned for it to
happen."

   Smoke cascaded from Sharon's lips as she spoke.  God, it looked good,
Karen mused.  Her mouth watered.  What little resolve she had left weakened
each time her friend lit up.  The aroma smelled heavenly and the sight of her
enjoying a nicotine interlude was almost too much.

   "Come on, Sharon, I don't know why you say that.  I haven't decided to
smoke again.  Not really."

   Sharon laughed.  "Bullshit!  You have, too, and you know it, you liar!
You're thinking about it right now.  For the last forty minutes you've been
thinking about bumming a cigarette from me and lighting up."  She poked
Karen on the shoulder.  "Am I right?"

   Karen sighed.  "Yeah, I admit, you're dead-on.  Seeing you smoke and
talking about it is hard.  I used to love to smoke.  I gave it up for
Christine; not that she cares.  I hate to admit it but I _do_ almost hope
that she likes it when she tries it.  I probably would blame my own relapse
on her as unfair as that'd be.  I'm a coward; I admit it."

   Sharon leaned toward her.  "Is your husband that much of an asshole,
Karen?  If you want to smoke again will he really hit the roof?"

   "I don't know," the blond admitted.  "Kevin's a good guy.  We get
along great.  In the old days we both smoked.  He quit when I did before
Christine came.  As far as I know he's never been tempted to start again
although Kevin does still enjoy an occasional cigar with his buddies."  She
watched her brunette friend exhale another thick smoky stream through her
lips.  Tiny wisps dribbled from her nostrils in accompaniment.  "God, I must
tell you, I sure am tempted!"

   "Then there's no time like the present," Sharon said with an evil grin.
"Go ahead.  Have one of mine right now.  I dare you!"

   "Oh God, Sharon," Karen whined helplessly.  "I don't know.  I really
shouldn't -."

   "Shouldn't is a word reserved for cowards," Sharon charged.  "Fuck it!
You want to smoke; you know that, Karen.  God, you bring it up every time we
go to lunch.  You salivate every time I light up.  You know eventually
you're gonna smoke.  It's inevitable.  So just do it right now.  Get it
over with.  Save yourself the misery of dragging it out."  Her words sunk
in.  "Look, Karen, you have time for a cigarette before we go back.  Just do
it, for God's sake.  You know you want it!"

   "I know," she whimpered.  "God, do I ever!  It's just that -.  If I
have even one cigarette I won't be able to stop.  I'll want to keep on
smoking."

   Sharon laughed.  "Of course!  Obviously.  But you _want_ to, Karen.
That's the thing.  It's why you're gonna smoke a cigarette right now and
it's why you'll keep smoking from now on.  You already made the decision.
The only question is when it's gonna happen.  I'm saying, let it happen now
and end the agony of putting it off."

   Karen was paralyzed by indecision.  So Sharon pushed harder.  Putting her
Marlboro 100 in the ashtray she shook a second one from her pack.  She put it
in her lips, lit it up and held it out to her friend.  "Here, Karen," she
slyly whispered, releasing smoke from her inhale.  "This one's yours.
Don't let it go to waste, for God's sake."

   In disbelief Karen stared at the burning cigarette.  A million thoughts
ran through her head.  She pictured Christine holding a cigarette, enjoying
it and laughing at her for being so stupid and saying no to Sharon's offer.
Then she imagined Christine instead looking horrified, aghast at seeing her
mother smoking a cigarette.  She saw her husband, Kevin, shaking his head
sorrowfully and lecturing her for doing something incredibly dumb like
smoking.  All the pictures collapsed into a bizarre montage of conflicting
images.  She didn't know what to do.

   "Hello?  Earth to Karen," Sharon interrupted.  "It's time for
decision, kid.  What will you do?"  The Marlboro 100 Sharon offered her was
a scant few inches from her hand.  "This one belongs in your mouth, Karen.
Are you gonna put it there or not?"

   Slowly Karen reached out to accept the cigarette.  She felt like Eve in
the Garden of Eden being tempted by the devil incarnate.  But this devil was
a beautiful brunette across the table who just picked back up her own
cigarette.

   "Now you have a cigarette of your own, Karen," Sharon went on
irresistibly.  "Are you going to smoke with me or just sit there?"

   Karen had to do it.  Sharon was right.  It _was_ inevitable.  She'd
thought about this moment for a long time.  She just never had the guts to do
it; until now.

   With trembling fingers she raised the Marlboro 100 to her lips.  The
closeness of the smoke spiraling from the cigarette assailed her nostrils and
eyes.  "Fuck," she quietly murmured.  She just had to do it.  She couldn't
afford to think about it anymore.  Sharon was right.  This was the time for
action!

   Putting it in her mouth Karen sucked hard.  The smoke was amazingly
familiar and yet strange.  Instinctively she breathed it in and the smoky
substance hit her chest after traveling down into her waiting lungs.  It was
like a hammer striking an anvil.  But the pain, or rather the overwhelming
sensation, was delicately sweet.  She opened her mouth and breathed out.
Smoke poured from her lips.  She grinned.

   "Oh my God," she gasped, smoke still dribbling from her mouth.  "What a
rush!"

   "Nice, isn't it?" Sharon nodded.  She took a hit, too.  "This is what
you've looked forward to for a long time, Karen.  You've wanted to smoke
again.  You've been desperate for it.  And now, finally, at long last, you
get to smoke.  Happy?"

   "Ecstatic," she confirmed, taking another hit.  This time she inhaled
more deeply.  "Oh, God," she groaned blissfully, holding it inside her
chest as long as possible.  "Thank you, Sharon.  God, thank you _so_ much!"

   "You're welcome, Karen," her friend pleasantly answered.  "It looks
like finally you're back where you want to be, where you need to be.
There's a cigarette between your fingers and smoke in your lungs; smoke
that'll soon come out of your mouth and nostrils.  Life is good, eh?"

   "The best," Karen sighed, spewing smoke and beginning another drag.
"This is the absolute best!"  As she sucked the smoke into her lungs she
began to calculate how she might convince her lovely daughter to join her in
this marvelous enterprise.  God, it felt good!

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