Getting Rid of Ryan, Part 4

This fictional account contains adult language and themes.  If such language
and themes offend you, please do not read further.  The persons and events
described in this work are purely fictional.  Any similarity to actual persons
or events is strictly coincidental.  Copyright 2003 by SSTORYMAN.  All rights
reserved.  Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this story in any form
and for any purpose as long as this notice is reproduced and no financial
remuneration is received, directly or indirectly, by the person reproducing or
using it.

GETTING RID OF RYAN

4.	Growing, Growing, Ever Growing.

   That night Kevin called home from his business trip.  Karen told him about
Christine's smoking experiment and her good faith attempt to "assist"
their daughter.  She cried crocodile tears for Kevin, whimpering about
unexpectedly being lured into smoking again and saying she feared she wasn't
going to be able to stop herself from continuing to smoke.  At first Kevin
was upset.  But after talking with her awhile he seemed to change his tune.
By the end of the call he acknowledged she had the right to do whatever she
wanted.  He only said he hoped Christine wouldn't follow her lead and start
smoking for real.  Karen honestly told him she didn't expect Christine to do
that.  It seemed to make Kevin feel better about her otherwise disturbing
news.

   After the call Karen cackled with delight at her good fortune.  Having
dealt with both her daughter and her husband the path was now clear for her
to be a full-time smoker again!  While her daughter stayed stewing in her
bedroom, Karen reclaimed a pack of Marlboro 100's she bought for herself on
her way home from work.  She lit up a cigarette in her bedroom, enjoying the
luxurious sensation of smoking out in the open right there in the house.
God, she loved to smoke, and she loved full flavor cigarettes!  They were
_so_ much better than the pitiful lights Christine was smoking.  One way or
another, she knew, Christine would adjust to her relapse just like Kevin
eventually would.  But in her daughter's case, either Christine would fall
prey to the beguiling pleasure of smoking herself or she'd quit once Ryan
gave up on her.  Either way Karen accomplished what she wanted.  She finally
had an excuse to smoke again, without anyone suspecting that her supposed
relapse was premeditated.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   The next day Christine met Lia for coffee before class.  Lia insisted they
meet someplace with a smoking section.   The second they sat down Lia lit up
and teased Christine she should do the same.

   "Shit," muttered the blond girl.  "You sound just like my mom!"  She
told Lia of their unexpected encounter the night before and the phone call
from Ryan asking about her smoking.

   "God damn," Lia laughed delightedly as smoke flowed from her smiling
lips.  "Shit, Christine, you're super-lucky!  I wish to God my mom wanted
to smoke with me.  Wow, that's so cool!"

   "You only think it's cool because you're a smoker, Lia.  But I'm not."

   Lia grinned.  "Christine, think about it.  Millions of teenagers would
give anything to be in your shoes.  It sounds like your mom really wants you
to join her, to decide to smoke with her from now on.  God, how cool is
that?"  She paused.  "Hey, aren't you going to practice?  I don't give a
shit if you're mad.  You still have to practice to convince Ryan.  Or are
you just giving up because you're mad about your mom smoking?"

   "No, I'm not giving up."  Halfheartedly she got out her pack of
Marlboro Lights 100's and put one in her mouth.  "But after last night I
don't feel much like smoking anymore."

   "Bullshit," Lia giggled.  "You enjoyed it yesterday.  I know you did,"
she teased mercilessly.

   Christine lit up.  Unfortunately Lia was right.  Smoking was indeed
beginning to feel pleasant to the reluctant teenager.  She hollowed her
cheeks and drew on the Marlboro Light using the aggressive style her mother
urged upon her.  Yeah, it did taste good and felt good, too.  The familiar
buzz returned as she inhaled the smoke deep into her lungs.

   Lia was visibly impressed.  "Wow.  Girl, you _look_ like a smoker today!
God, what a change, girl.  You sure didn't inhale like that yesterday!"

   "My mom taught me to do it this way.  Mom said I should always do it like
this."  She blushed, at long last exhaling after holding the smoke inside
for a good ten seconds.  "Mom says I look bona fide when I inhale the smoke
this way and hold it inside for a long time."

   "Yeah, no doubt," Lia agreed with an amused look.  She studied her
friend's face.  "Now come on, Christine.  Tell me true.  It's not really
so bad, is it?  You like it, don't you?  You like to smoke!"

   The blond girl got red in the face.  "Yeah, Lia, I hate to admit it, but
you're right.  I guess really _do_ kind of like it.  It's funny, though.  I
don't want to be a smoker but I do kinda like smoking."  She laughed and
took another long drag.  After another deep inhale she continued.  "Mom made
me mad last night.  I'd never admit to her that I like it.  But the truth is
that I think I could get used to this."  She grinned sheepishly and exhaled
another endless stream of smoke.

   "Your mom's a smart lady, Christine.  Smoking cigarettes is just great.
Sounds like your mom's the coolest mother of all time.  God!  I wish my mom
felt that way.  My mom hates my smoking.  We argue about it all the fuckin'
time.  God, it pisses me off!"  Lia took a long drag of her own and inhaled
the smoke just like Christine this time.

   Christine solemnly leaned forward.  "Lia, I never expected anything like
this to happen.  I mean, I thought my mom would be totally against my smoking
to ditch Ryan.  But she wasn't.  Then Mom suggested that she should smoke
with me to `help me.'  As soon as she lights up she suddenly announces that
she wants to start smoking herself."  She hesitated before returning her
cigarette to her mouth.  "You don't suppose my mom set me up, do you?" she
asked with a suspicious tone before she took a puff.

   Lia laughed as she watched Christine finally exhale after another long
hold.  "I don't know, kid.  It's possible, I suppose.  But I tell you
what.  You're in the fuckin' driver's seat!  Now you can do whatever the
hell you want.  If you do decide you want to smoke, shit, you can!  If you
want to quit after you get rid of Ryan, well, you can do that, too.  So it's
all totally up to you now.  You shouldn't be mad.  I think you're very
lucky."

   "Yeah, I suppose you're right," Christine agreed as she puffed again.
"But I can't stop thinking about Mom."  She tipped her head and exhaled.
"It was too easy, too fast, the way she announced it.  Know what?  I think
she'd already decided she was going to smoke again.  That would explain why
she urged me to pretend to smoke for Ryan, and also why she wanted to help me
last night."  She smiled triumphantly.  "I bet Mom saw my experiment with
Ryan as a great chance to blame somebody else like me for her relapse!"

   "And how does that make you feel?"

   "I don't know," Christine answered honestly, trimming her cigarette.
"Not great.  But maybe she just felt desperate, like she needed cover or
something -."

   Lia grinned.  "Your mom probably wanted to smoke for a long time, but
wanted to do it without catching a lot of flack.  I have lots of sympathy for
her if that's what happened.  You should, too, Christine."

   "Yeah, I guess," the blond girl agreed as she took another vigorous drag
on her rapidly shrinking cigarette.

   Lia gave her a dreamy grin seeing her friend suck her smoke deep inside
once more.  "Oh my God, Christine.  I _love_ seeing you smoke like that.
You look so totally delighted!"

   "I know," Christine frowned.  She began another exhale.  "That's the
trouble.  I am!"

   Christine crushed her cigarette in the ashtray and Lia smiled.  "We have
ten minutes till class starts.  What do you say we walk over and smoke
another cigarette outside?  That way Ryan will see you when he gets there.
Maybe then he'll believe it's real and be totally pissed.  What do you
say?"

   Christine slipped her Marlboro Lights 100's in her purse.  "Yeah, I
guess so," she agreed halfheartedly.

   "What's wrong?"  Lia asked.  "I thought this was what you wanted."

   "It is," the blond admitted.  "But now the whole thing is spinning out
of control.  I mean, my mom's about face and Ryan's suspicions; everything.
I feel upset about it."

   Don't worry, girl, Lia silently mused.  You just have another cigarette
before class.  Go ahead and smoke again!  That'll help.  I guarantee you
that'll make you feel _much_ better!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   "So, how'd it go?"

   Karen smiled at Sharon.  They stood behind their office building with a
group of other smokers.  Other smokers, Karen sighed wistfully.  I'm a
smoker, too!  The thought made her smile.  God, she was glad to be back!

   "Oh, it went okay, I guess," Karen said putting a freshly lit Marlboro
100 to her lips.  "Christine wasn't happy when I said I was going to smoke
again.  But what could she do?  I said I had to smoke after doing it with
her.  I told her I can't help it.  So it worked."

   "And your husband?  How was he with the news?"

   "I only talked to Kevin a minute on the phone last night.  I told him of
Christine's pretense and how I tried to help her.  I said it overwhelmed me
and that now I felt I simply _had_ to smoke again.  He didn't react well but
he'll get over it.  After all, we both smoked back in the old days.  But he
did say he sure hoped Christine wouldn't eventually get hooked, too, while
she's playing the part of a smoker for that boy."

   Sharon released a perfect cone of smoke from her mouth.  "But how about
Christine?  How's she doing with her little experiment?  How's she feel
about it now?"

   Karen had to smile.  "I shouldn't have done it but I made her change how
she was doing it," she admitted with a merciless grin.  "The poor kid was
inhaling too shallow.  So I told her instead to inhale the smoke as deep as
possible in her lungs and to hold it in as long as she could.  I said it'd
make her look more like a real smoker.  That's true, of course.  But my real
motive was more devious.  Frankly I want Christine to get hooked.  If she
gets used to having more smoke deep inside her lungs longer, we both know
what'll happen.  Pretty soon she'll like having it in there and soon it'll
become almost impossible for her to give it up."

   "God, I can't believe you.  You are _so_ bad, Karen," Sharon laughed.
"So she did it?  She started inhaling real deep?"

   Karen nodded.  "Yep, she sure did.  I'm sure she didn't realize what I
was doing.  She thought I was just trying to make her look more like a
smoker.  But as soon as I suggested it Christine began to take super long
drags.  She pulled the smoke way down into her lungs and held it there.  She
got really buzzed," Karen laughed evilly.  "But she did it over and over
from then on and she liked it.  Poor kid.  I don't think she realizes what
it'll do to her."

   Sharon hit on her cigarette.  "But we know, don't we, Karen?  Yeah,
you're turning Christine into a smoker!  God, Karen, you must really want
her to smoke to do something like this to her, to actually seduce your poor
daughter into becoming hooked on nicotine."

   "Yeah, I do want it.  I admit it.  I love to smoke and I want Christine
to love it, too.  I don't give a shit if it's bad for her.  Last night was
really fun smoking with her.  Christine may not realize it but she's well on
her way to making it a regular thing we do together.  If she keeps it up she
won't be able to quit.  Do you think that makes me a bad person?"

   "Yeah, probably," laughed Sharon.  "But I understand.  You want to
smoke.  You love it.  So you want Christine to share it with you.  And it
sounds like before long she will!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   After their morning class Ryan left the building and found both Christine
and Lia standing outside smoking.  This time Christine looked like a bona
fide nicotine addict.  Ryan immediately saw her longer drags, her deeper
inhales and her lengthy holds.  As promised this time he followed the girls
after class.  He ate lunch at a different table at the same restaurant and
tailed Christine for the next several hours.  Aware of his presence Christine
felt it necessary to keep smoking in between her activities.  She and Lia
smoked at lunch.  Christine smoked again before her one o'clock class and
again afterwards because Ryan was still nearby checking on her.  After her
one o'clock class the pretty blond lit up again outside and headed off to
the library.  Ryan followed but she disappeared into the library to study for
her four o'clock class.  She emerged at a quarter to four.  There he was,
standing outside the library waiting.  He didn't speak but again she lit up
a cigarette for effect and smoked while walking ahead of him to her last
class for the day.  Ryan was in that class, too.  So after it was over she
again lit up before she headed to the commuter parking lot to get her car and
drive home.

   At home her mom was already there and she was smoking.  Karen indeed
`came out,' all the way `out' and was clearly enjoying her renewed
participation in her old habit.  The smell of Karen's smoke didn't bother
Christine, in part, she suspected, because she herself smoked quite a lot
that day.  Christine didn't smoke with Karen either before or after dinner,
although her mother invited her to.  But Christine didn't want to and
although she somewhat understood why her mother wanted to she didn't approve
of her involvement in the activity.

   After supper Christine went down to the basement to exercise.  Her usual
routine was to work out on the weight machine awhile and then run about 30
minutes on the treadmill.  Dressed in a tee-shirt and shorts she completed
the workout and dripping with perspiration ascended the stairs to the
kitchen.

   Karen was in front of the TV in the family room.  She had an ashtray by
her side and a freshly lit cigarette in her fingers.  Christine frowned.
Karen ignored the implicit criticism.

   "How did your workout go, honey?" Karen smiled.  "Is your leg feeling
better these days?"

   "Yeah," the exhausted blond teenager answered, flopping into a chair
across the room.  "For awhile I wondered if I'd ever be able to run again
after injuring it last year.  But lately it's felt fine.  I may even think
about running track at school this spring."

   "That'd be great," Karen said in half-hearted reply while bringing her
cigarette to her lips for a lengthy hit.  "I know you missed running last
spring."

   For some reason Christine felt inexplicably irritated by her mom smoking
in front of her.  "Yeah, I sure did," she replied, pausing to stare at
Karen.  "That's why I'll never smoke, I mean, for real.  I wouldn't be
able to run if I did."

   Karen strongly expelled smoke in twin streams through her nostrils.  "Do
you really think so, dear?  How was it running tonight?  Did you get winded?"

   Christine paused.  "No," she slowly admitted.  "No, I felt fine running
tonight."

   "Interesting," Karen grinned.  "So, maybe it's not so bad to smoke
after all.  After all, you said at dinner you smoked a lot today.  How many,
by the way?  Six or seven cigarettes?"

   The teenager mentally counted in her head.  "No, actually I smoked nine.
Ryan was on my tail all day.  I warmed up by smoking with Lia before our
first class.  Then I smoked with Lia again before and right after class.  I
had several more at lunch because Ryan ate at a table near ours.  After lunch
I had to smoke every time I walked somewhere the rest of the day.  Ryan was
like a shadow trailing me everywhere."

   Karen smiled.  "Well, take heart, dear.  It won't last.  Soon Ryan will
get discouraged and let you alone.  Then you only need to smoke before and
after the classes you have together."  She laughed.  "Poor boy!  He sure is
devoted, isn't he?  He just can't believe you'd actually become a smoker.
I'm sure it breaks his poor little heart!"

   Christine stood.  "I hope it does.  I've gone to a lot of trouble to
piss him off.  I'm going upstairs to shower before doing some reading.  Then
I'm going to bed."

   "Sure, fine, honey," Karen smiled noncommittally.  She put her cigarette
in her mouth.  "I'm sorry to be smoking like this around you," she went
on, pausing for a long drag.  Her voice lacked sincerity.  "Gosh, I sure
hope it doesn't bother you too much."

   Christine watched smoke flow from her mother's lips.  "No, it doesn't
bother me.  I can tolerate the smell.  But I wish you wouldn't, Mom.  It's
not good for you.  And when Dad comes home I bet he'll be upset about it,
too."

   "We have to see," Karen smiled mysteriously.  "Dad called tonight while
you were down on the treadmill.  I told him I've been smoking constantly.
He sounded much less perturbed than yesterday.  I hope it'll be a non-issue
by the time he gets home tomorrow."

   Christine frowned.  What did _that_ mean?  She decided not to ask.
"Well, I'm going to my room," she repeated, still feeling strangely
irritable.  "I'll come to your room to say good night before I turn my
light out."

   Ascending the stairs Christine felt strangely annoyed.  Her mom didn't
have to smoke like she did to get rid of Ryan.  But her mom smoked anyway,
and constantly.  It really bothered her to see her mom do it without apology.
As soon as Christine reached her room she shut the door.  She took off her
sweaty tee shirt and shorts.  She looked at her naked torso in the mirror.
God, yeah, she _did_ look damn good!  No wonder Ryan was obsessed, she
laughed.  She turned on the shower, figuring the hot spray would soon
alleviate her edginess.

   But it didn't.  The shower felt good but as she toweled herself off
before the mirror she realized her uneasiness remained.  Something wasn't
right.  What the hell was it?  What was wrong with her?  She sat down on her
bed while rubbing her hair with the towel.  She touched her breasts and
smiled.  It felt good but it still wasn't what she wanted.  She was fidgety,
almost nervous.  She reviewed the day's events to try and figure out what
might be bothering her.

   She found her purse to get out her brush.  She needed it to finish fixing
her hair.  Inside the purse she saw the pack of Marlboro Lights 100's.  And
suddenly it hit her.  Seeing the cigarettes made her heart race.  Oh God!
Shit!  Suddenly she understood.  Fuck, she wanted to smoke!  That was what
was making her so irritable.

   Her lungs were still pleasantly bushed from her treadmill run.  Now they
wanted to be washed, too, but with cigarette smoke.  "Fuck," she muttered
in disbelief.  She finally understood what she was happening.  The fact that
she was actually considering smoking scared her.  "God, I don't smoke
recreationally.  I'm not a smoker!"

   Earlier she admitted to Lia that she liked to smoke.  Now, despite her
better judgment, it was still unfortunately true.  And she wanted to enjoy
that feeling again, to saturate her lungs once more with the pleasurable
sensations associated with smoking another cigarette.  "Fuck," she repeated
bitterly.  "I can't believe I'm even thinking this."

   She got up abruptly and stood before the mirror to brush her long blond
hair, trying hard not to think about the temptation that plagued her.  But it
wouldn't go away.  The faster and harder she brushed the more she wanted to
smoke.  While looking over her shoulder she found herself gazing longingly at
the pack of cigarettes sitting innocently on her bedspread.

   She sighed.  "Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt anything if I had just one
cigarette," she quietly rationalized.  But if she was going to do that, she
sure as hell didn't want her mom to know!  She wasn't about to give her
that satisfaction.  Not that Karen would notice the smell of more smoke.
After all, her mom's smoke filled the entire house!

   "An ashtray," Christine realized.  "I need an ashtray."  Looking
around she finally settled on a china soap dish on her bathroom basin.  She
removed the bar of soap, rinsed out the dish, dried it and smiled.  This
would do fine!  After she finished she'd just dispose of the ashes and the
butt, rinse it out again, and no one would know.

   Dressed in a short nightgown she sat on the bed and shook a cigarette from
her pack.  She put it in her mouth and paused.  Her hands were shaking.  She
felt exceptionally nervous!  But she knew she wanted it.  Her lungs loved the
spent feeling of having just finished a long run.  But now the idea of
filling them with smoke seemed like an extra special reward.  She readied her
lighter and clicked it.

   Her cheeks collapsed; she took her first hit!  Just as she'd been taught
she drew hard on the cigarette and pulled the deposit of smoke deep inside
her chest.  She closed her eyes and smiled.  God, it felt so good!  Before
exhaling she sucked again, inundating her body with thick, rich, creamy
smoke.  The second drag followed the first down into the uttermost recesses
of her hungry lungs as she breathed in deeply and enjoyed the slight buzz now
ringing inside her head.  Her long run had fully cleansed her lungs.  It made
her present smoking experience that much more extraordinarily pleasant.

   She had just taken her third drag when suddenly there was a knock on her
bedroom door.  "Christine.  Can I come in?"

   Christine gasped, inhaling even deeper.  "Uh, no, Mom," the teenager
said nervously.  Smoke mixed with her words.  "I'm, uh, I'm not dressed!"

   "Well then, throw something on.  I'm heading off to bed.  I want to say
goodnight before I hit the sack."

   Busted!  God damn it!  She didn't even think about the fact that this
could happen.  But usually she and her mom did speak briefly before heading
off to bed.

   Without realizing it she again dragged hard on her cigarette.  It simply
seemed like the thing to do.  Well, shit!  There was no good way to lie about
this.  "Hang on a sec, Mom," she sighed, exhaling smoke while walking to
the bedroom door.  "I'll let you in.  But please don't dump on me for what
you're about to see."

   Holding her cigarette Christine opened the door.  Karen stood and stared.
A bemused look crossed her face.  "Honey," she gently smiled.  "You're
smoking!"

   "Yeah, I sure am," she gloomily admitted.  She walked back in and sat on
the bed.  "I don't know what came over me.  After running tonight and
showering suddenly I just felt like having a cigarette.  It was like I
couldn't stop myself.  God, I'm so embarrassed!  I gave you grief for doing
the same stupid thing!  Now, here I am smoking even though I don't want to."

   Candidly Karen was thrilled.  At some point she very much hoped Christine
would get to the point where she wanted to, or, more accurately, needed to
smoke.  But unexpectedly happening upon it demonstrated that her faith in
nicotine's power had at last been fulfilled.  Christine was actually
smoking.  It brought a huge smile to Karen's face.  She tried to sound as
supportive as possible.

   "Honey, don't worry.  I understand.  Really, I do.  Please, don't be
embarrassed.  But honestly, if you didn't want to smoke then you wouldn't
be smoking now, would you?  You must want to smoke.  Don't you?"

   "God, I don't know," the teenager sighed glumly.  She took another drag
and, as usual, drew the smoke deep inside.  "I just felt like I had to, like
I couldn't stand it if I didn't have a cigarette.  I didn't want to wait
another minute."  She paused to exhale.  "And it tastes and feels really
good, too," she laughed apprehensively.  "Mom, I can't be addicted
already.  Can I?"

   Karen smiled sympathetically.  "I don't know, dear.  It seems pretty
unlikely..  But your body won't lie to you.  It'll always let you know what
it wants, what it needs.  If it tells you it wants you to smoke a cigarette
like this, well, then, maybe you are addicted already!"

   "God!  I need to quit then," muttered Christine.  She trimmed her
cigarette in her makeshift ashtray.  "I need to nip this thing in the bud!"

   Karen, too, reached for a cigarette.  She silently sought permission by
raising an eyebrow.  Christine dolefully nodded and Karen lit up, too.

   "Well, that's up to you, of course, if you want to quit now," Karen
smiled, doing a perfect mixed nostril and mouth exhale.  "But Ryan will
wonder what happened.  It seems to me you'll have come all this way with
nothing to show for it.  I think you should stick with it a couple more days.
By then Ryan will be convinced and then you can quit if you still want to."

   "That's what scares me, Mom.  I'm afraid then I won't want to quit.
Like you, and like Lia.  None of you want to quit smoking."

   "And why does that scare you?"

   "Mom!  Don't be dumb!  It scares me because it means I've been taken
over; sort of like invasion of the body-snatchers or something.  You guys
always want to smoke even though it's bad for you.  That scares me."

   Karen smiled.  "Honey, that's ridiculous.  Don't be scared if your mind
changes.  But you're right.  At some point you cross a threshold after which
you don't really give a shit anymore about the risks associated with
smoking.  It happens because you get to where the pleasure you receive from
smoking far exceeds any negatives.  You want to smoke; you almost need to.
It's not scary.  In fact it's the best part of smoking."

   "Really?  You think so?"  Christine seemed to be asking sincerely.

   "Absolutely.  Why do you think I came back?  Because it's so healthy?
No, of course not," she laughed.  "I did it because I enjoy smoking so damn
much.  I always did."  Karen dragged on her cigarette.  "I love that edgy
feeling, that strange yearning, the craving for another cigarette.  It feels
so good when I satisfy it.  Don't you feel better now, too?"  Christine
slowly nodded, and Karen went on.  "So it's not bad, honey.  Not at all.
But one thing I'm sure of.  A couple more days of smoking won't make any
difference."  She smiled sweetly.  It was a lie and Karen knew it.  Every
extra cigarette Christine smoked would strengthen and deepen nicotine's
power over her ever-diminishing ability to resist the insatiable desire for
more.  "So why not just keep smoking a few more days?  You'll turn Ryan off
and then you can quit if you want.  Till then, though, I suggest you just
smoke whenever you feel like it.  If you want a cigarette, like tonight,
don't be afraid.  It won't be any harder to quit later and in the meantime
you'll feel better.  That's what I'd do if I were you," she lied.

   Christine dragged again.  "You want me to smoke, don't you, Mom?"

   Karen laughed.  "I want you to be happy.  If smoking makes you happy,
then, yes, dear, I do want you to smoke.  If it doesn't then don't."  She
watched Christine exhale after another interminable hold.  She smiled.  At
her daughter's present rate she knew what would soon be needed to ensure
Christine's continued happiness and it sure as hell wouldn't be quitting.
"As long as we're talking about smoking let me share what your father said
tonight on the phone."

   "Oh?"

   "For years your dad's smoked cigars, ever since we quit cigarettes back
before you were born.  I never let him smoke `em around the house; he only
indulged with friends.  When I first told him I decided to smoke cigarettes
again he was a little upset.  But last night on the phone I reminded him it
means he can smoke his cigars here at home instead of elsewhere.  That lifted
his spirits.  So I also suggested he might want to consider joining me in
going back to cigarettes.  Your dad loved them in the old days.  He enjoyed
`em immensely.  Well, he thought about it, and tonight on the phone told me
he bought a pack of cigarettes and a few cigars today.  He's been smoking in
his hotel room all evening."  She smiled triumphantly.  "The upshot is,
Christine, when Daddy returns from his business trip tomorrow he'll be
smoking, too, cigarettes as well as cigars."

   Christine tapped an ash in the ashtray, lifted her cigarette to her lips
and hit on it.  Deep in thought she sucked the smoke inside her chest.
"Well, what do you think Daddy will say if I'm smoking?"

   Karen admired the way Christine talked with smoke inside her.  She smiled.
"Well, at first he was worried," she admitted.  "But tonight we talked
about it more.  I told him you hadn't yet decided if you wanted to smoke or
not.  You never actually said you might want to but I still had to see how he
felt in case you change your mind.  Tonight he said he won't care.  After
all, Christine, you're 18.  I think the fact he himself is smoking again,
like me, softened his feelings more than a little.  We both remember what
it's like to be your age.  We smoked in high school and college.  So if you
want to smoke how can either of us object?"

   Christine nodded and laughed.  "Gosh, I can't imagine Daddy smoking.
That's so weird.  Of course, not as weird as me smoking, too."  She took a
final drag from her cigarette.  "I feel better," she admitted after pulling
the smoke inside.  "I'll take that advice, Mom.  For the next couple days
I'll just smoke when I feel like it.  If I want a cigarette I'll have one.
Of course I still have to smoke on campus whether I want to or not.  But I
mean here at home, too, maybe I just will.  It'll be easier if I don't feel
pressured either way.  Don't you think?"

   "Oh, I agree totally, honey!  If you want a cigarette just have one.  If
you don't, don't.  At some point Ryan will finally say he hates you, once
he thinks you really smoke.  Then you can decide what you want to do about it
long term."

   As she left the room Karen snickered with evil delight.  Yeah, kid, if you
feel like smoking then just smoke.  Let your need for more nicotine be your
guide.  She let out a wicked laugh.  There's no question where _that_
approach will eventually lead.  Unless I miss my guess, she mused, in no time
all three of us will be smoking regularly around here.  Karen lit up a last
celebratory cigarette to enjoy before going to bed.

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