Jess's World, Part 4

Jess's World
by Gray Haze

Part 4 - Jamie's Secret

The little ball of fire, that was what her mother always called her.  And why
not, Jamie was truly the life of the family.  Her three sister and of course
her father, were ultra competitive.  They strived to be the best, whether it
was in business, sports or academics.  Jamie on the other hand was much more
like her mother, care free and full of life.  

While growing up, it was her mother that Jamie tried to emulate most.
Although she loved her father very much, he was often stern and dour, always
preaching the importance of discipline, education and success.  This did not
suit Jamie's personality at all.  She much preferred playing games over
playing the piano, socializing with her friends over reading a book, and
laughing instead of thinking.  

Her mother was the same way.  She believed in living life to the fullest,
whether it be inviting friends over for parties, planning a fun family night,
taking the kids to the amusement park, shopping, and most of all, an
unquestionable devotion to the pleasures of smoking.  Jamie was always
fascinated with her mother's smoking.  Her mother was constantly smoking, and
every time she exhaled the smoke from her lungs, there was a huge smile on
her face.  To Jamie, this constantly reinforced inside her the image that she
developed that smoking was fun.  

When Jamie was little, she would often emulate her mother's smoking whether
it was a crayon, a pencil or a candy cigarette.  "Look mommy, I'm smoking
just like you", a four year old Jamie would say to the amusement of her
mother.  At the age of eight, Jamie asked her mother why she smoked when
according to her teacher, it was very bad for you.  Jamie's mother never lied
to her children, and simply said to Jamie that "your teacher is right, it is
bad for me, but I love to smoke and it greatly adds to the pleasure of my
life.  It was what her mother said that impacted Jamie far more than anything
that her teacher said.  To Jamie, life was about having fun, and according to
her mother, smoking greatly added to that.

From that point on, Jamie dreamed about smoking herself.  It wasn't long
before the dreaming turned into action.  At the age of 11, Jamie finally got
the nerve up to try it.  Getting a cigarette was the easy part.  Her mother
left open packs all over the house.  Her first attempt was a disaster.  It
tasted funny and when she tried to imitate her mother and inhale the smoke,
she coughed up a storm.  It took her three months to get the nerve up to try
again.  This attempt went a little better, and she was actually able to take
a small puff without coughing.  

All through the sixth grade Jamie continued to steal the occasional
cigarette.  Each time it got a little easier to tolerate, and little more
enjoyable.  When she started middle school at the age of twelve, Jamie met a
new friend who was also experimenting with smoking.  She lived a couple of
blocks away from Jamie, and soon they started spending all sorts of time
together.  It wasn't long before Jamie began to steal entire packs and began
to smoke everyday with her new friend.  At first it was only one or two after
school or during the weekend hanging out at the park.  But by the time she
turned 13 during the winter of that year, her smoking increased quite a bit.
Now the two smoked whenever they could, before school, during lunch, after
school and even after dinner.  It was around this time that Jamie tried one
of her father's Camel's.  For whatever reason, she couldn't find a pack of
her mother's cigarettes and had to grab one of her father's instead.  

The sight of a cigarette without a filter was foreign to Jamie.  Nobody
except her father smoked filterless cigarettes.  But Jamie fell in love with
them after the first puff.  She liked the true tobacco flavor that they had,
without the cool minty taste that her mother's menthol had.  But most of all,
Jamie liked the big kick that the strong smoke gave her in the chest.
Another benefit was that the Camel's were considerably shorter than the 100's
that her mother smoked.  She was often able to smoke two in the amount of
time it usually took to smoke one of the B&H's.  This was becoming important,
because Jamie was starting to get cravings, and being young and unable to
smoke for long stretches, smoking two quick cigarettes would easily quench
any craving, no matter how strong.

Jamie also started buying her own cigarettes.  Although, only 13, she looked
four and even five years older than she actually was.  She was very well
developed, and by wearing makeup, she had no problem buying them at just
about any convenience store.  By the spring, Jamie began to smoke whenever
she could, even alone.  She even began to smoke the occasional cigarette in
her bedroom, prior to going to bed.  So by the time that Jess arrived home
from college, Jamie's smoking had almost reached a half a pack a day, high
nicotine content filterless at that.  She was now fully addicted to nicotine,
and was fast becoming a devoted lover of smoking.

"My god Jamie, you're only 13!" Jess responded in shocked disbelief.  "You
just stopped playing with Barbie dolls a year ago, and now you're doing
this."

Jamie didn't say anything; she just took another huge puff.  Her last
cigarette was five hours ago, and she was really dying for one now.  While
exhaling that one through the nose, she put the cigarette back in her mouth
and took a third drag.

Jess couldn't believe her eyes.  Here was her baby sister smoking like a
fiend.  Not only that, she was smoking one of daddy's Camel's to boot.

"Well, you certainly seem to know what you're doing," Jess said while finally
breaking the silence.

"This cigarette really tastes good," Jamie finally said while picking a piece
of tobacco off from her tongue, "I haven't had one since lunch, and I was
dying for one."

"Don't tell me you are hooked on these things already?" Jess asked while she
was exhaling smoke from her own cigarette.

"I don't know what do you mean by hooked?" Jamie asked.

"I mean do you crave them, or do you start to feel real funny if you go a
while without smoking?  Could you go a whole day without smoking with no
problems?"

"Go without smoking for a day, god forbid," Jamie said laughingly as she
exhaled another cloud of smoke.  "I have trouble going a few hours now let
alone a whole day."  I usually start feeling funny after a few hours.  So if
that is what it means to be hooked, then I guess I am.  But you know what
Jess; I really don't care, because I like to smoke.  I've always been
fascinated with smoking and I have wanted to be a smoker for as long as I
remember.  Now that I am a smoker, I don't ever want to stop.  I just wish
that I could smoke more often."

"I take it mom and dad don't know that you smoke?" Jess asked as she put out
her cigarette.

Jamie then reached over and put her cigarette out in the ashtray as well.
"Oh no, I think dad would kill me if he found out.  You aren't going to tell
them are you Jess, please, please, don't tell them.  You promised me that you
would keep a secret," Jamie replied in a panicky voice.

"I don't know Jamie; I never dreamed that this was you secret.  You know, mom
is going to find out eventually, maybe you should just tell her," Jess
responded.

"Yeah, maybe I should.  She certainly had no problem with your smoking.  But
then again you are 20 and considered and adult, I'm still considered a baby
around her, I think that she would dye if she saw me smoking," Jamie said
nervously.

"You're right, she would have a cardiac.  OK then I promise not to tell, but
if you get caught, don't be telling mom that I knew about this in anyway,
promise!"  

"I promise Jess, if I get caught you knew nothing about it," Jamie replied
re-assuredly.

"OK, it's a deal then," Jess said while giving Jamie a hug.  "So what is up
with smoking Camels?  I don't know anybody who smokes them, except for daddy,
that is.  Aren't they really strong?"

"Well I used to smoke mom's, but after I tried one of dad's, I found that the
regular cigarettes were better than the menthols.  My friend Kristy smokes
Marlboro Lights, but compared to the Camels they were like smoking air.  I
guess I just like the extra kick that the Camels give me.  Would you like to
try one?"  Jamie asked while taking another one out for herself, and then
holding the pack toward Jess.

"OK, I guess so," Jess responded while reluctantly accepting a light from her
little sister.  

"You are right about one thing, nobody else smokes these things," Jamie
continued.  "Some of my girl friends think I'm a little nuts for smoking
these.  I guess they don't think that Camel's are very feminine.  They mostly
smoke the Light 100's or Slims; they think more of style than enjoyment I
guess.  But you should see the looks the boys give me.  They certainly see
some sex appeal to them.  I think they like that I am a little different,
maybe a little more adventuresome, I don't know.  It does definitely
differentiate me from the rest and I kind of like that."  Jamie then paused
to take another big puff.  She inhaled deeply, held it in, and then slowly
exhaled a huge plume of thick dense smoke, smiling throughout it all.  "But
the bottom line to me is pleasure.  I love the feeling that smoking Camel's
give me.  So, what do you think big sis, do you like them?"

Jess paused for a second, and then slowly lifted the cigarette up to her
lips.  She then proceeded to take a long slow drag on the cigarette, followed
by a deep inhale and a slow controlled exhale.

"They're not bad," Jess chimed in while looking at the burning cigarette.  "I
think I like my Salem's better, but these sure do have a good kick to them.
Definitely would be good if I had a big time nicotine fit.  Yeah, but over
all I think I will stick with my Salem's.  They got enough of a kick
themselves, and besides, I like the menthol a little better."

As the two girls were putting out there cigarettes, their mom called up to
them to tell them that dinner was ready.

"Shoot, I forgot about dinner!" Jamie excitedly said.  "I must smell like an
ashtray."

"Yeah, you probably do.  Why don't you wash up in the bathroom and gargle
with some Listerine.  I will light another cigarette and sit down next to one
of your sisters.  When you get downstairs, help mom with serving dinner.  She
usually has a cigarette lit just prior to dinner, so she won't notice.  Then
sit between me and mom at dinner."  Jess said calmly.

Jamie headed to the bathroom to quickly wash up while Jess proceeded to light
a cigarette.  It was the third cigarette that she had lit up in the last 20
minutes and after the Camel, she was catching quite the nicotine buzz.  But
it was a small price to pay to help her little sis out, and not a bad one at
that.  After Jamie had finished, the two girls headed downstairs.  Sure
enough, there was mom, just taking something out of the oven, cigarette
dangling from here lips.  Jess then sat down next to Jennifer, with Jill
sitting across the table, while Jamie proceeded to help her mom.  Jess used
this opportunity to take a dig at Jill, by exhaling a large puff across the
table directly at her.  

"Jess, can't you refrain from that filthy habit at least while were at the
dinner table," Jill scolded as she was waving the smoke away with her arms.

Jess then proceeded with another puff, "mmmmmmm, nothing like a good smoke to
relax myself before dinner, do you want one too Jill?" Jess said with an evil
grin.

"Hope your lungs rot in hell sis," replied Jill angrily.

Jess put her cigarette out once dinner was served.  After dinner, both Jess
and her mom lit up while Jill and Jennifer left to do there homework.  Jamie
hung out and talked, while her mom and sis enjoyed a couple of after dinner
cigarettes.

Megan came over to visit Jess at about eight and was quite surprised to see
Jess smoking.  Jess didn't smoke much out of courtesy to Megan, but Megan was
supportive just like real friends are.

At around 11 Megan had left.  Everybody had gone to bed so Jess decided to
call it an early night.  Ten minutes later, Jamie came in, pack of Camel's in
tow.

"Mind if I have a quick smoke before bed Jess?  Jamie asked.

"Sure sis, anything to help out a fellow smoker," Jess replied.

The two shared not one, but two quick smokes before Jamie left for bed.

Jess then read awhile before calling it a night.  She had one more just
before she turned out the lights for bed.  "What a day," Jess thought to
herself.  She felt good about herself, her new life as a smoker and even had
to admit to herself that it was kind of neat smoking with her little sis.  

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